#so guess whose gonna be getting up at 4am multiple times this week assuming nothing else comes up
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#i have demons battling it out in my brain#one says: nothing creative/fun can be designated as work#the other says: but literally u have to do these creative/fun things for work#idk why my brain is like: it is only work if u r suffering or doing something difficult#but its v stressful bc it means i do unfun things all day at normal hrs of the day (or avoid doing them)#and then spend the rest of my time doing the more fun stuff which stretches my 'work' time to strange long hrs#but if i do them at normal hrs i feel like im gonna die#its terrible. and ive got at least 12+ hours worth of fun stuff i have to do on the lab computer rn#so guess whose gonna be getting up at 4am multiple times this week assuming nothing else comes up#also i have to draw a thing#which is why im getting a headache bc ive spent so much time today messing with procreate and trying to figure out a style#and my brain is like: u r wasting time!!!! u need to be more productive#but i have to figure out how to use the app??? also its sunday#theres just so much to do and im being crushed by the weight of it all#my brain keeps doing that angry buzzing then while i run so fun times#i think im figuring out the digital art thing tho#and that means ill have to redraw a bunch of stuff i did for the lab bc it all looks trash now and the style is gonna be inconsistant#sigh... idk y i do this to myself but here we are#srry for being so ranty lately. ive been feeling not great so ive withdrawn from socalizing and thus have no outlet lol#unrelated#ah fuck i really need to work on manuscript stuff tho#okay: this week i will read a bunch of annoying photosynthesis papers or else. i will i will. writing progress will be made
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