#so glad this is the 2nd last week of sem!!!

[thebigoblin]

dumb & dumber

tags: Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Failwolf Derek Hale, Failhuman Stiles Stilinski, is that a tag? it should be actually, Implied Sexual Content, Possessive Derek Hale, Attempt at Humor, Failwolf Betas, they're all just dumb tbh

"You know, you're kind of the worst," he says this with a pout on his face, the television in front of him blinking back his own face at him. He sorta looks cute with a pout. Huh.

Beside him, the couch dips with the weight of his boyfriend. An arm snakes up along the back of the couch, and he moves forward before that arm and his shoulders can make contact. The huff he gets at his pettiness has him scoffing right back.

"You're being petty."

"And you're an asshole. What's new?"

Another huff. A sigh. He stares forward, resolute.

"Stiles, please." Nope. He is not giving in. He deserves to be upset! "Baby," and oh no.

Stiles turns towards his left, and sees the forlorn look on Derek's face. His eyes are searching Stiles', likely trying to impart how unhappy he is, and how much he wants Stiles' forgiveness.

Stiles might have turned around to actually have a conversation, but hey, he's still got the upper hand here. When Derek reaches out to hold his hand, Stiles takes his wayward limbs towards himself and crosses his arms. Derek isn't happy, his nostrils flaring, but hey, Stiles isn't happy, either.

"Why are you so angry at me?"

Stiles instantly points a finger at his dumb boyfriend, wagging it at that dumb gorgeous face to punctuate his point, "Oh ho ho, don't you play the dumb boyfriend card with me! I wish I could tell Lydia she's right and that all men, no matter the age, suck at being a good boyfriend. But welp! I can't, can I? Because even now, after months of us having been together, I cannot tell people I have a boyfriend! Nobody in the fucking pack knows who you are to me, and you know what Erica has been planning, huh? Huh?"

Derek blinks his dumb, gorgeous eyes at him. He has been staring at these eyes for counting on four months now, but he still can't pinpoint what colors they are. Are they blue? Green? Hazel with gold flecks in them?

Fuck. He is getting distracted. He once again wags his finger at Derek's face, who, this time around, wraps his big, rough arms around it and pulls Stiles forward until Stiles stumbles right onto Derek's lap, and really, why is the universe so unfair? Why is Derek in a barely there wife-beater and grey sweats?

"You know what I am to you, Stiles."

Stiles resolutely stares at Derek's chest. His hands are gripped tight in Derek's, but Derek lets one of his hands go free to grab at his chin, forcing him to look up at the eyes that reflect the early morning sun in a deep, beautiful forest.

"Baby, I am yours."

"But not to the world. To them, you're a single, hot, in much need of a date Alpha werewolf. You're not mine in their eyes, Der."

His heart doesn't waver at the truth, but his chemosignals must change because Derek leans down to rub their noses together, dragging his down to Stiles' neck, scenting him.

Claiming him, in a way.

"If Erica is planning a date for me, she's not competent as a wolf. I might not have told them we are dating, but you smelling much more like us should be a clue."

Stiles noses his way down from Derek's nose to his neck, bites at the junction between it and shoulders just to be a little shit. Derek arches under him, and it has Derek's dick, from under the damned grey sweats, rubbing a delicious friction against Stiles' ass.

"We smell good, huh, Alpha?" He could say more, but Derek is already panting like he cannot take it any more, and hey, that is lips on his own and he can't really speak now, can he?

Derek kisses him with passion, pushes him down back on the couch so he is on top of Stiles.

"Erica needs to learn how to use her fucking nose. You smell like mine," Derek's growl has Stiles instantly wanting to take off his clothes and present to him, down on all fours and ready to blackout in bliss for hours, but.

Stiles pushes at Derek's chest so there's space between them, and asks, a bit breathless, "Why haven't we just told them?"

"You're a fucking tease. I'm going to ruin you once this conversation is over, understand?"

Stiles stares back, wide-eyed, pupils evidently dark. Licks his lips. Nods.

Derek grabs his hair and wrenches him in for a deep kiss before letting go, putting space between them.

They don't speak for a few minutes, trying to get back to some semblance of control. Once they are, Derek speaks.

"I haven't told anyone... because I forgot."

If this weren't Derek, and he wasn't Stiles, he would have been offended. Because what the fuck? But he is Stiles, and this is Derek, so.

"You figured everyone would use their super-sniffers?" Derek nods. "Except you also forgot not everyone is a werewolf, and that even those with super-sniffers are idiots. They would first figure out how to stop a bus with failing brakes from crashing by jumping in front of it rather than using their wolf strength to well, pull the bus Superman style."

"Yes, I'm aware my pack is brave but stupid. Especially because their leader is here with me."

"Hey!"

"Then why didn't you tell them?"

Stiles opens his mouth. Closes it. Scratches his head, his hair. Eyes fixed on the TV again, he mumbles, "I thought you didn't want to."

Derek takes his hand and points it at himself with a raised eyebrow. "Me? The one who has been scenting you extensively and making you wear butt-plugs? Me?"

His cheeks color with embarrassment. "Alright! We are both idiots. Got it."

"Truly made for each other." Derek again uses Stiles' hand to pull him forward, right until Stiles stis on Derek's lap. Again. Except this time Derek is already working to make Stiles' jeans dissappear. "Now, tell me about this date Erica has planned for me while you warm my cock with your pretty hole, okay, baby?"

"Yes, Alpha." Oh, coming to the Loft in a fit of anger/sadness was the best course of action today.

And Stiles is definitely going to pilfer that fancy-pants restaurant Erica has reserved for Derek's blind date with one of her college friends for a date for them.

And then he's going to be fucking annoying about calling Derek his, just like he is sure Derek is going to be insufferable about making it clear that Stiles is his in return.

[lettersfromandie]

2023 HIGHLIGHTS

Half of the year has passed and it's just now that I had the time and energy to do my 2023 highlights 😅 Lol better late than never! I'm doing this anyway for archive and memories when I look back and reminisce those times 🤍

Drag Race PH S1 Stars in Cebu

Finally met the queens from Drag Race Philippines Season 1 - Minty Fresh, Eva Le Queen, and Lady Morgana! They were all so beautiful and stunning! From their makeup, costumes, to their performances, they all SLAYED! Queens from the local Cebu drag scene also surprised us with their wow-mazing performances especially Letina Lyccah's performance. Lip syncing Alexia's Happy while throwing and giving out products named "Happy" to the audience was the best!!! (I got Happy peanuts lol). Such an entertainment to enjoy Sinulog night with some of the most famous drag queens in the country.

Spring Vacation in South Korea

Savored what was left of spring when we visited South Korea last year. Wrote more about this memorable trip in four South Korea 2023 blog posts hihi

Honne Concert

It wasn't just a Honne concert. It was Honne + Beka !!! Crying Over You is my favorite Honne song, so to witness them perform it with Beka made it all the more complete as if I'm listening it in Spotify but BETTER. The end of their concert tho with those visuals made us 🥺🥺🥺 (iykyk). Enjoyed the concert so much especially that I was with the company of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while hehe.

Turned a year older

This was a sad birthday because I was not able to enjoy it as much as I would have wanted to. Failed to enjoy the moment when I had a short dinner with my family because I had to go back to school immediately for a rehearsal :( My birthday fell within Intrams + Cookout week so acads and org life was just very hectic :/

Oh well, the world does not stop for me. I turned 22 last year. But wasn't feeling it just like Taylor Swift. It was Nothing New > 22, if you know what I mean.

My First Internship

Summer who? We don't know her! We only know internship!! Last academic year was wild and hectic because we only had a one-week break from second sem and immediately transitioned to being interns. Honestly, I've never legit worked before so this internship was somewhat my first work experience. For a month I mostly did marketing collaterals for an HR management system they developed.

I really wanted my first work experience to be in an organization that's not toxic and stifling. Looking back, I'm glad that I had my internship in MYT because everyone was so welcoming and approachable. We always had free lunch and snacks, and we also joined in their foundation's outreach program on our last day. I love that they also give back to the community and sponsor scholars.

I was also able to sit down and talk to the founders of the company and learned so much from them as well as my growth here. I'm so grateful for the experience because I also learned so much especially with being resourceful on how I can create marketing collaterals with the resources available (thank you Canva for making video animation and editing possible and easier! haha).

Exploring the City of Smiles

Visited Bacolod with the fam! Went to The Ruins, Campuestohan Highland Resort, Ilaya Highland Resort, etc etc (only a few we could fit in our sched). And of course we indulged in their most known delicacies - Eron's Cansi, Calea's cakes, Napoleones from Merzci (+ other brands actually), BongBong's Piaya, Chicken Inasal in Manokan Country, (Bar) 21's Batchoy, and brunch and pastries at Cafe Bobs! We indulged in more food than places so this was a food trip haha happy tummy = happy Andie!

Mayday Parade's 2nd Concert in Cebu

Three Cheers for Five Years since they last played in Cebu for the first time in 2019. That time they promised to be back. Five years later, they kept their promise. Mayday Parade, thank you for accompanying my emotional masochist ass when I was in high school (oahverrr). I'll always be an emo kid 🖤

Performed in a Musical Play

As a wannabe musical actress, I took the opportunity to perform in a short and sweet musical play competition representing our university. We won and were headed for nationals yayyyy

I was really excited when they chose me to be in the musical because that time, I was not able to deliver a lot of acting performances in my org. I couldn't say that I was that good in acting. But to be feeling (lol), I was kinda confident in my singing since I grew up listening and singing to Disney and musical songs. So this was my chance to do what I love.

It was my first musical play (and a competition at that), but playing in a musical in front of a large audience kinda excites the theater kid in me 🥰 (Broadway and West End, I know you're too far, but a girl can dream HAHA LOL)

Last year was very busy and hectic tbh so these were the highlights that I can remember BUT there's so much learning and growth that happened that year. Gratefulness for everything is just pouring everywhere despite the sad and overwhelming days <3 Thank you, 2023! 🌟

Love,

Andie

[melodisaki]

January Recap

Completed my 30-day devotional. I'm really happy about this since I was not able to do a complete streak last year. I will definitely continue this until the end of the year.

Meg had tonsillitis during the 1st week of the month. It was so hard seeing her having difficulty swallowing her food. Thank God for her pedia who prescribed highly effective medicine.

Started my fitness journey, albeit irregular. What's important is that I started. ☺️

Enrolled for the 2nd sem. Enjpying the ride so far. 😁

Had a haircut at David's Salon. It was my first time having my haircut at a high-end salon.

Attended a division training of trainers. I love surrounding myself with intellectuals.

Attended the MPRE for SY 2023-2024. It was not as hectic as that of the previous school years. I was glad to tick off some tasks in my work to-do list.

Participated in the Catch Up Fridays. Not really sure how to sustain this though.Haha.

Found a new playhouse for Meg. It's more serene than the other one that we used to go to. I love the varied activity spaces and the types of toys they included.

Visited a local resto that I have not been into before. The Japanese curry was good!

[orenjikaraka]

I’m Truly Sorry, please Forgive Me…

Rengoku Kyojuro x reader angst

Warnings: slight manga warning aka mainly akaza just slightly though, cursing, concerned for weight, angst

word count: 4279

AU: modern

(Y/N) woke up to an empty side of the bed, She wondered if he’s at work again, she sighed, she got up, she actually kind of disappointed that he's not here , ‘Kyojuro…’ she thought, she still felt tired, but kind of relieved in the same time, because she was on break, it was only for a week, but she’s glad that she doesn’t have to go to work today, ‘I should make dinner for him, because he usually comes back late at night’, when she got up, the floor was cold, ‘well crap now I’m awake’, she got dressed and went to the kitchen, she made Kyojuro’s dinner and made her breakfast, she put his plate in the fridge, and ate her breakfast alone while watching some shows.

After she finished her food, she was wondering if she should call him, to see if he was alright. But before she could even try, Genya was calling her, ‘weird timing’, and she answered “hi Genya, what’s up?” “O- oh hi (Y/N), I was wondering if Rengoku-San is doing ok, because he’s been working on a lot of paperwork, he usually be finish with it, and head to your home, but- but he been like this yesterday morning and I don’t- don’t think he left school?” ‘Now that you think about it, Kyojuro left early yesterday in the morning, I thought it would be like a meeting, but who takes meetings that early in the DAMN morning’ “maybe he just has extra work, he needs to do Genya”, “ trueee, but he looks exhausted, so I wondering if you could check on him?”

‘Awwww, Genya, still acting like a little brother, it’s no wonder he’ll be worried, heck I'm worried too, but usually when these things happen like this, he comes the next day, sleeping soundly on our bed…’ “Genya, sweetheart, don’t worry about it, he’ll be back probably late at night, and be sound asleep in my bed, so don’t worry” “but- but (Y/N)” ‘this boy…’ “Genya I’ll tell you what, if he doesn’t come this midnight, and if morning happens and he’s still not there, can you ask Sanemi to go check on him, because I’ll be busy tomorrow, and you know, some errands for the house and grocery stopping, also I chose Sanemi, because you’ll be busy with school you know” “i- I know, and o- ok” … “OH, (Y/N), I’m celebrating my birthday today. Would you like to come, Tanjiro and his sister will be there, and Sanemi of course, “oh I would love to, I don’t really have anything to do today anyway so sure!” “YES- wait I mean thank you… for… coming…” ‘hehe poor boy, probably made his classmates scared’ “your welcome Genya, also happy birthday!” “Thank you, (Y/N), bye” “bye”.

‘Oh, before I do anything I should go buy him a gift’ so (Y/N) put on some casual clothes, instead of just wearing Pajamas, and went to the mail.

—-

All the classes has ended, and Rengoku just finished a big batch of paperwork, he yawn, and checked if he was finished, he looked on his schedule and saw more paperwork has been placed with a big sticky note that says ‘Teacher of history class: Rengoku Kyojuro; must be finished by tomorrow!’ “Fuck…” he just wanted to go home and sleep with his beautiful wife, on that soft bed, “guess this will be my 4th coffee for the day…” he got up and yawn again, and stretched, his back pop, but not in the good way, “ow, ow, ow, never doing that again…”, he walked over, and picked his stack of paper he had to do, he sat it in his desk, and walked to the teachers lounge’s door, and opened it to the hallway, before he stepped out, he saw Genya with Sanemi, most likely walking home, he guessed, but he heard Genya saying before they left, “(Y/N), is coming over, for the party, I’m so glad she’s free today!” And as they left, Kyojuro felt frustrated, ‘why didn't she tell me anything…’ he yawned again, “God, these yawns are getting on my nerves, I need my coffee…”

When he made it to the teachers lunch room, he started to make his coffee, when it finished, he drinks it, unusually fast, but unsatisfied, by the results, ‘ima have another’ so he made another, and drink it the exact speed as the last one, satisfied by the 2nd coffee, he was gonna go back to the teachers lounge, but saw a small box that had some sweet rolls, on the box it said, ‘you may only take one’, but Kyojuro had a craving to eat the whole damn box, all those coffees are really messing up his appetite, ‘who’s gonna notice these anyway, I eat most of the stuff here, so who gives a damn’ ‘but then again… I’ll gain some weight…’ he put one hand on his side, and felt some fat, it’s not noticeable, but it’s still pudge, ‘maybe I regret being a teacher, all this damn paperwork, and exhaustion, and drinking all this coffee really affecting my body…’ when he was thinking about all this stuff and he was about to ditch it and left,  but hunger was just raging in his stomach so ‘ok, ok, maybe some won’t hurt’ and took the whole damn box and left for the teachers lounge.

—-

(Y/N) was at Sanemi’s house celebrating Genya’s birthday, everything was going great and to (Y/N), she was surprised that Sanemi was having a great time too. It was kind of sad that Kyojuro wasn’t there, he would be giving Genya tons of gifts, but sadly he’s still at work, it made (Y/N) a bit disappointed again, but she wanted to just hope, he’s doing ok, “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” “Oh, Sanemi, I’m just worried for my husband is all…” “don’t worry about it, like you said to Genya, if he doesn’t show up to your house tomorrow morning, I’ll go check on him, just relax and don’t worry about it” “ok…” “quick (Y/N), I’m blow the heck out of the candles!!” Genya said, (Y/N) laughed, “ok!!, come on Sanemi, get off that couch of yours, and stop being lazy” Sanemi smirk “ohhhh really, I’ll prove to you, that I’m not” he gets up, “I like to see you try!!” Sanemi and (Y/N) laughed after that, and went over to the kitchen to celebrate Sanemi’s little bro's birthday.

—-

After Genya’s birthday celebration was over, (Y/N) went straight home, to relax and just vibe at home, when she took her shower and other little chores and pajamas on, she was about to fell on her bed, but she heard a knock on her door, she immediately turned around and hope it was Kyojuro, when she opened it, her excitement immediately stopped, she saw akaza, “sorry to bother you Mrs. Rengoku, but I’m just here to drop some stuff off”, “who stuff is it?” “Just Rengoku-sans” “oh ok, thanks akaza, oh also is he still at work?” Akaza sighed “yeah… I kind of feel bad for the guy, been working his ass off over some stupid extra paperwork…”, ‘I’ll remind Sanemi tomorrow to go check on him’, “akaza, before you leave, thanks again I appreciate it”, “your welcome, and have a great night!” Akaza waved goodbye and walked away, ‘akaza, I hope that boy relationship is better then mine, because he needs it, he’s such a sweet boy…’ (Y/N) closed the door, and looked in the box, it had finished paperwork inside it.

‘Ren… you really need to take a break…’

—-

The next evening is even more tiring than before, Kyojuro looks more warned out; he looks like he's gonna faint any minute, but that coffee stops him from doing so. ‘Fuck me… my eyes hurt so much…’ Kyojuro yawned again. The teacher's office door opened, Kyojuro didn’t give a damn who it was, because he felt like passing out. “Rengoku”, … “Kyojuro”, … “HEY, I know you can hear me, don’t play du-“ “how about you shut your mouth Sanemi” “tch, hey I’m only here because your wife sent me here to check up on you, not for you to be a asshole to me” that annoyed Kyojuro “why the hell are you with my (Y/N)” “Ren, she’s like a sister to me, even though we’re not related, I still see her as family, so why the fuck you think, I be behind your back with that” Kyojuro sighed and stood from his chair “where is she” “she’s out doing errands, she wanted to come over here and check on you, but house chores and grocery shopping” Kyojuro sat back down and trying to finish what he was left off “ok, leave, I have work to do, so buzz off”.

“Are you listening to yourself right now, your just gonna go back on your work instead of paying attention to (Y/N)” “no, I need to finish it, for my job, someone needs to pay the bills in the house” Sanemi got pissed off by that, then he chuckled “tch, no wonder (Y/N) comes to my house, when she’s all tearing up, because someone needs to give her attention and that someone is not you” Kyojuro stood up and put his hands by Sanemi’s shirt, Sanemi can see that flame in his eyes, the rage… “Sanemi if you lay a finger on-“ “maybe I should, I can treat her better than you…” Kyojuro was about to punch him, but the door opened again, and Genya was there, poor boy was shocked, “let go, Rengoku” Sanemi made Kyojuro let go, Sanemi walked over to Genya, and reassured him, Kyojuro just stared back and a overflowing guilt fell on him, Sanemi looked back with rage and discuss in his eyes, “Ren, you need to get your act together, if you can’t do that, she’s gonna move on, and divorce you…” then slammed the door. 

Sanemi walked out with Genya and head home, but before he touched the door knob, his phone rings, he got his phone out of his pocket and saw (Y/N) on the screen, he answers, “hey what’s up” “hey can I come spend the night at your house” Sanemi was surprised, “oh… why-“ “Genya texted me, that the talk you had with Ren, didn’t go so well…” ‘she sounds depressed’ “hey… is everything ok…” ‘wait, why would I ask such a dumb question’ “kinda… I'm just sick of being alone at home…” “yeah, want me to come pick you up” “yes…” “ok, I’ll come pick you up in 10 minutes from now” “thanks Sem Sem, I appreciate it” Sanemi chuckled, “your welcome, (Y/N)…” 

—-

It was late at night again, and Kyojuro was still at work doing paperwork, he felt like knocking out, his eyes were drooping and his back hurts, ‘me, an jerk, fuck off Sanemi…’ ‘maybe I should call her…’ Kyojuro stop doing his work and picked up his phone off the desk and started to call her, it rings and rings and rings, until a voicemail happens, “hi this is (Y/N), I might be busy with my husband, so please understand, leave a message after the beep”, *bee-* He canceled it before it even tried to go to voicemail, ‘why should I even try again, it’s midnight’ he put his phone down and he wanted to rest his eyes ‘maybe, I am a jerk’ then he denied it ‘no, I need to finish this work…’ yawned again, ‘actually maybe a small nap won’t hurt, right?’ He laid on his arms, and wondered ‘am I really a bad husband, mom if you were here, what would you say about this…’ Kyojuro slowly fell asleep on his desk.

—-

It was midnight and (Y/N) didn’t want to call back Kyojuro, she saw the missed call from him, but she was shocked to think he would call her, she sighed and tried to go to sleep but couldn’t, maybe she’s overreacting about Kyojuro, she knows his job can be overwhelming, but… but… she’s tearing up, she’s sobbing, she’s quivering, she lift herself up, and put her arms around her legs. 

Sanemi was fast asleep in the living room couch, Genya couldn’t really sleep because what happened in the teachers lounge, what Sanemi said and what Rengoku said, he felt guilt swelling up in his heart, then he hear (Y/N) sobbing in Sanemi’s master bedroom, he sit up, and opened his door, and quietly walked to his brother’s room, slowly opened the door, and saw (Y/N), he felt horrible, he closed the door behind him, and slowly touched her back and slowly rubs her back, “hey, (Y/N)… everything will be ok…” (Y/N) let go of her arms and slowly hugged Genya, she was sobbing on his shoulder, he hugged her back, and give light rubs on her back, and whispered “everything is going to be fine”, it slowly calmed her down, and she looked up at Genya, her puffy eyes made him felt terrible, “I’m sorry I woke you up Genya, it’s just so much is happening…” “no, no, no, it’s fine, your stressed out because what’s all happening and I completely understand that'', “thanks Genya…” “do you need anything else, (Y/N)” she paused and still looked gloomy, “can you sleep with me, It’s hard for me to sleep”, Genya spaced out and it was a little out of the blue for him, “sur- sure, if it- it helps you sleep- I com- completely understand” his cheeks were slightly pink, (Y/N) laughed because he looks so cute, when’s he’s blushy, “thanks Genya'' she made a small smile, that made Genya stop blushing, he smiled back, he stood up, and started to fix his side of the bed, and he walked out and walked back in for his phone, (Y/N) layed down on her side of the bed, and Genya rested on the left side, “thanks again Gen Gen…” “your welcome (Y/N)…” and they both fell asleep. 

—-

Sanemi woke up first, because he needs to get Genya ready for school and everything, like make his breakfast and stuff, he left his main clothes in the living room because he didn’t want to wake up (Y/N), he got dressed and he head to Genya’s room, to wake him up, when he got there and opened the door, he wasn’t there, ‘where you go?’ Then he look at his room, and slowly walked to his room and opened it, and saw Genya sleeping on the left side and (Y/N) on the right, ‘she must’ve had a hard time sleeping, so she asked Genya…’ he still felt frustrated from yesterday, ‘maybe I should call for a day off today, because of (Y/N)’ so he slowly closed the door and called his boss, he said Genya’s not feeling well and that Genya has to stay home, and he had to stay home and take care of him, he ended the call and started to make breakfast for the both of them, he made there plates first, then he made his, his room door opened and Sanemi’s head looked at the direction, and saw Genya walked out then (Y/N), they both yawn, “I smelled pancakes, so I woke up first” (Y/N) said, Genya just shook up, “wait!, ima be late for school!”, then Sanemi quickly said “you dork, I told them we have a day off!, so calm down…``''oh…”, (Y/N) laughed on the two brothers, “why did you call a day off Sanemi?” “Because of you, I saw Genya slept on the other side of the bed, so I thought, you had a hard time sleeping” “I did and Genya helped, isn’t that little dude” “HEY, I’m not around the same age, but I am like twice your size!”, (Y/N) laughed, it made the brothers smile, because it’s better to see their friend happy instead of so sorrowful, “hey, Sanemi… later from today, can you drop me at the school, I need to talk to Rengoku'' Sanemi was a bit surprised to hear her say his last name, “sure, I can, but if anything happens I’ll be in the hallway, and if anyone ask why I’m there, I’ll just say, I’m waiting on someone” “thanks Sanemi” she smiled softly “your welcome (Y/N), if anything happens I’ll rush in there” 

“Thanks and I appreciate it”

—-

It was the afternoon and Kyojuro woke up from his nap, he felt all horrible, his back still hurts, his eyes has deep bags under them, and his body has a trill to drink more coffee, he tried stretching again, but the aches on his back felt like needles piercing through his skin “well that just fucking hurts” he touched his sides and his back, because they were hurting like hell, ‘hope this day, won’t get any worse as it is’, the teacher’s lounge door opened and right when he looked up, he saw his beautiful (Y/N), she looked dreadful, “hi…” she spoke, he felt guilt in his heart because how sad she sounds, “hi…” “can we talk, Rengoku…”, Kyojuro felt even more guilt, why is she calling me that, like we’re strangers all over again he thought, “baby, why are you not calling me by my-“ “Ren, why aren’t you coming home” that guilt slowly turns into frustration, “because I have a job, and I need to pay the bills for us to survive…” “yes, but doesn’t mean you stay up and at your job for three days straight”, “so-“, now (Y/N) slightly raising her voice “what do you mean so!, look at yourself, you been sitting in your desk, drinking coffee, have horrible bags under your eyes, you look like your gonna knock out, Rengo-“ “STOP CALLING ME BY MY LAST NAME” that terrified her, but she still stood her ground, “why should I!! I have been ignored for the past three days! You don’t even give me a text that ‘I’ll be still at work!’ Or at least something comforting!” “Oh (Y/N)!, why don’t you stop being a sensitive little bitch!, and just grow up!” 

Kyojuro eyes went wide, shocked to why he even said that, (Y/N) was trembling, her tears were streaming down her cheeks, Kyojuro wanted to help her calm down, but when he tried to reach for her, she backed up, Kyojuro felt horrible, he felt like he wanted to get punched, his voice was shaky, “(Y/N)…” he tried to touch her shoulder again, but she back up again, “don’t touch me…” his heart shattered when he heard her and how scared she is, “(Y/N), I’m sorry…”, it was silent, until she said “Kyojuro…, no wonder your just like your father…”, and she ran out just like that, Kyojuro was speechless, he wanted to run after her, but couldn’t, because she was right, Kyojuro started tearing up and quavering.

“Am I really…”

——

(Y/N) was running away from the school, the students that were leaving school saw her with sad looks on there faces, Sanemi was behind yelling her name, She just wanted to go far, far, far away from this horrible school, Sanemi chack up, and grabbed her by the arm, “LET GO!!” And Sanemi turned her around, “hey, it’s me, it's me…”, she hugged Sanemi and he hugged back, he picked her up, “it’s going to be ok… shhh.. everything going to be ok… I’ll take you back to my house…”

When they got there, Genya looked worried for (Y/N), she was crying silently, Sanemi wanted to put her down, but she didn’t let go, “(Y/N)?”, “can- can, you and Genya, stay up with me…, be- because I don’t think I can sleep…” Sanemi felt horrible, he should’ve just stepped in, but he wanted to give them space and respect their personal conversation, “sure, (Y/N), anything to make you positive and not stressed, I can do that” ‘hearing that from Sanemi was strange, because usually he’s always stern or blatantly aggressive, but he always would hide his anger on me’ “tha- thanks, Sem Sem…” Sanemi made a small pleasant smile that also made her smile, “hey, (Y/N), how about we watch a movie for the night?” 

“Sure, I would love that…”

——

When Kyojuro got home, he was not surprised that she wasn’t here, his fist clenched, and he slammed the door behind him, he was starving, because he felt like if he ate, he’ll just throw up, but he had to eat something, so he walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge, and saw some dinner, wrapped in foil, and a sticky note on top, he picked up the note, and it read, ‘hi, love, I’m glad your home, finished this amazing dinner I made, I worked really hard on it, so I hope you like it!’ Also ps. When you finish come cuddle with me! <3’, a teardrop fell on the note, and his hand was shaking, it started to become hard to read, because the tears kept flowing, he closed the fridge, and decided to not eat it, the note was now on the floor but he didn’t care, he just wanted to go to sleep, and just hope this is all a nightmare…

After he took his shower and got ready for bed, he wanted to call her again, so he did, but right when he clicked the call button, it went straight to voicemail, he hung up, before her cute voice can say anything, he tossed his phone on her side of the bed, and sat down on his side of the bed, his quivering got worriedly worst, his breathing was uneven, “(Y/N)… please come… back… I’m… nothing like my father…” 

“Please… I’m sorry… please come back…”

—-

The following morning, Sanemi woke up first, he got up quietly, stretched his back and popped his joints. He was gonna start breakfast for everyone, but he heard a knock on the door, “who the hell can that be?”, he opened the door and saw Kyojuro, he looked exhausted as usual, but he was well dressed, his hair looks kind of messy, “can I see her, I need to talk to her…” his voice sounds raspy, “no, also please leave, she doesn’t want company at the moment” Sanemi was about to close the door but Kyojuro put his foot on the side, so it won’t close, “please… I must talk to her…” Sanemi hated being in the middle of this, but he can’t just do nothing, (Y/N) was upset about and to see her not happy, makes him wants to punch the hell out of whoever made her unhappy, “listen Rengoku, I don’t want to beat the living pulp out of you, so if you mind, just fucking leave” “I’m not leaving until I talk to her!” He can see those flames in his eyes again. “Why you-“

“Sanemi, who is that?”, (Y/N) woke up, then Genya woke up after, Sanemi turned around with a sad look, “it’s no one” “that’s a lie, (Y/N) please… come out and open the door so we can talk… please…” (Y/N) was shocked to hear Kyojuro at the other side of the door, Sanemi turn back “dude, I told you-“ “Sanemi, let me go talk to him” she stood and walked over to the door, Sanemi turned back, with sternness, but he couldn’t say no, so he opened the door fully and walked to his room and told Genya to follow, but before the two boys went to Sanemi’s room, Sanemi said this, “if you hurt her, your dead you hear”, and both the both the boys were out of sight, it was just (Y/N) and Kyojuro.

“What is it, Rengoku…”

“Look I know you hate me, but please hear me out…” he stepped in and got a little closer.

(Y/N) sighed and nodded in response.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry, that I ignored your text, your calls, and most of all, I’m sorry that I ignored you, it breaks my heart to see you so sad and stressed out, to see you so scared and frightened of me, I don’t want you to see me as my father, I'm truly sorry, please forgive me… I’ll never treat you like this ever again…” his voice was cracking while he talked, but it truly hurt to see him like this, “I’ll prov- prove to you that I’m a worthy husband to you…” he was quivering, “I- I- love you- you, (Y/N)… please don’t leave me… I’m sorry…” “please… I’ll do better-“ 

(Y/N) hugged him back she was sobbing, but at least she didn’t walk away from him, he hugged her back, and kept saying sweet sorrys, in her ears, giving her kisses, and making her feel loved…

“I’m sorry… my love…”

“Kyojuro… I forgive you…”

“You do!” he sounded like a lost puppy and that make her laughed

“Yes, Koy” she smiled 

Kyojuro had the brightest smile, and it made her even more happy.

She hugged him again and he hugged back, “hey koy~”

Hm~”

“Love the new you~” she hugged around his waist.

He blushed, “(Y/N)…” he said shyly he covered his face on her shoulder.

She giggled, “I love you, koy~”

“I love you too, sweetheart~”

[meghernandez]

Life lately; 

    My vacation couldn’t be more fulfilling than this. I did a lot of things since I last blogged. I’ve been going out and about, spending the heck out of my savings on hanging out with friends, family, my boyfriend, and buying make up products. Which brings me to another topic (just a quick throwback here), I’ve been scrolling through my archive—as I was wondering if I posted the book that I wrote a few years back— and I saw this anon who messaged me that I was just pretending not to know how to put on make up. I think it was around 2014? And anon, if you’re still reading this, I swear I didn’t know how to put on make up. All I used was Ponds White (??) and that’s it. 

   So now looking back, I guess I’m quite proud of what I’ve accomplished, thanks to Youtube, I learned how to put on my everyday make up! I could do a tutorial on how I do my daily make up!! If you want to? Hit my inbox if you do, just so I’d know that someone would watch it. Hahaha! (I’m cringing thinking about it) 

    As I’ve said, I did quite a few things for the past few weeks. Again, here we go with the bullet form with bonus (annoying) titles:

 CRABings - Ate at a new seafood resto with my boyfriend. We even filmed a mukbang because I’ve been watching a couple of videos lately and this lead to this day. My craving for seafood was so intense, I’m so glad Karlo is always riding along with my cravings. I can’t say Boiling Crab is better than Shrimp Bucket but they do have a flavor that we like which is garlic butter. 

Moving out, finally! - I’ve mentioned in my previous post, just before I enter med school that I moved in my new dorm and I was alone and scared that I might not make it on my own since I can’t cook, do chores without my mom scolding me, and whatnot. But hey, I survived and I can say that I did pretty good on my own. Although, I didn’t like my old dorm, it was small and something that I can’t be proud of. So, this month me and Karlo checked out different places and decided to settle in a dorm which is quite farther away from my school than my old one. I liked the new place better, and it’s worth the price but it’s a little bit more pricier than my last. I don’t think I’ll move out anytime soon, I mean for 3 years (I guess?). Shout out to my boyfriend for being so supportive and for being so strong, carrying my fridge, microwave, mattress, and everything that I can’t even lift.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S -  me and my girls had a staycation last June 26, it was a breathe of fresh air from Elineth’s house, hahaha! I laughed all night, got drunk, chitchats, eating, and basically just enjoyed my weekend. Can’t wait to hang out with them again, soon!

Backpacking throughout different fictional worlds - My mind was obviously thirsty for imagination, and my heart was longing the Shadowhunters’ world. I couldn’t be more happy that I jumped back to their world. Lady Midnight was so good! I was putting off reading it for 2 years since I was afraid to be disappointed from my Infernal Devices high, but what came through my mind?? Cassandra Clare never fails to amaze me and break my heart. Such a good story, I swear! I’m currently reading the second book but I stopped since I want to have the hard copy first! And then I found myself reading books that have been collecting dust in my shelf like:

Black Ice by Becca Fitzpatrick

Magnus Chase: Sword of Summer by Rick Riordan

Magnus Chase: Hammer of Thor by Rick Riordan

Lord of Shadows by Cassandra Clare (halfway through)

Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard

2nd years filled with color - I wouldn’t say much but my boyfriend is worth mentioning for the effort he did to make me feel like a princess, even on cloud 9. Thank you babe and I thank the gods for giving you to me. Happy 2nd Anniversary, my love!

Drinks on me! - I’ve been trying out different things lately, like making iced coffee, milk tea, green tea frappe, and fruit shakes. I’m enjoying it actually, since it’s so easy. Throw random ingredients in a Nutri Bullet and my afternoon is good to go.

Red plate, just 2 plates closer to my dreams - I’m enrolled for the 2nd year in medicine, yaaay! I couldn’t thank my parents enough, for giving me this kind of opportunity to make my dreams into reality, even if my tuition fee is hella expensive (hay). I wish I could help them.

Spending more time with my baby Taylor! I’ll miss him when i come back to my dorm this August :< Although, a side note which is completely unrelated to my pup. I’m a BLINK and I stan Jisoo!!!

Cleaning, organizing, and getting my shit together - Decided to wash my canvas shoes since I realized that my white converse and vans are already gray. Hehe. Plus, I also cleaned my laptop and organized its folders, and my transes for the next sem as well.

That’s it! I’ll blog again this week, I want to post self-portraits if you guys wouldn’t mind (hahaha). Ttyl x

[the1997diaries]

Life Lately: Road To SMX

Annyeonghasseyo, chingus! My fingers were feeling itchy to write the milestones that happened lately. Gosh were halfway this school year— #RoadToSMX is so real. Yep. I am still in “fingers crossed” about that cos last Monday on my way to school, I’m so close to bumping into a motorcycle like I was just 10 inches away from it and I’m in shocked for 5 seconds before I recovered myself. I now believe that graduating students are really prone to accidents. Pros: I can consider myself now as a “REAL” graduating student LELS! Cons: I’m getting paranoid whenever I hit the road like I kept on looking left and right not just twice but thrice just to check if there are vehicles before crossing. HUHUHU! Who else is like me?

I have a lot of stories to tell like how we accomplished our papers and defense with great remarks and how we handled stress and group misunderstandings and all. Gawhd that moment when I’m finally writing the last sentence, the last word and the last period of our “final revised paper”. It feels so surreal like did we just made it? So to make it more detailed, I listed the highlights of my life these past few weeks.

We danced for our Consumer Behavior class while wearing corporate attire. I hate that I enjoyed it.

Few days after my birthday comes a huge disturbance in my entire college life. In our E-commerce class, one of our requirements is to come up with a website of our Feasibility proposal. I am the one who made it cos hey I’m a frustrated blogger LELS. Nope honestly because in our group, I can say that I’m the one who has the glittery-sparkling eyes for design and I am very patient with it. So I volunteered. I made the website using Wix ADI where they gave me a lot of templates but I made my own one. I spent a whole day even night just to perfect it. I even slept between 2 - 3 am. After I satisfied myself, I asked my group mates to just delete the text (given by wix) and replace it with our business description. So I was so glad that finally after days of sleepless nights, I can finally be at ease. But on a Sunday, I received a notification from our professor on that particular subject, she said that it was copied. I’m like whaaaat? what portion? So I opened the site and saw that the description wasn't changed at all. My group mates didn’t do it despite giving them the whole account after I finishing the design. We got zero points in that project and I’m like a crying baby cos I’m/were graduating students and that happening is something that shouldn’t be happening. I’m not blaming my group mates cos as a student as well, I must be very careful in everything I do and finish it right away. I felt a little bit angry with our professor cos she did broadcast the issue to all her other students BEFORE confronting us like you are a professor. After all, you are the one who knows what to do and what not to do. But despite that, a lesson learned and that is more important.

Last September 16, my sister and I attended a book fair at SMX Convention Center. Before we get inside, we lined up for so long, it's like a 5 circling line from end to end of the convention + the scorching heat. But all of that was worth it cos when we entered, the smell of books was so satisfying. There are books everywhere and I found myself lost in them. My sister even literally lost her phone while browsing for books. What a sad reality, a phone in exchange for books. I can feel her bittersweetness while on our way home. 

We went to Paranaque to celebrate Tita Beth and Xian’s birthday at their crib. We ate a bunch of pizza and cakes and all we can consume. We served foods to a lot of kids from their neighborhood and it was just so satisfying seeing those kids with a smile on their face. 

 My sister taught me to ride a motorbike and hell yes, ‘twas scary at first but also easy to learn + the bonding moments. *wink*

Our very own baby, Lairiel, my niece, stayed with us for a week and she’s the reason why I want to go home early after school. Yay, cuteness! + she knows how to make tulug-tulogan.

My fave blogger couple, Kuya David Guison and Vina Guerrero are liking my photos in IG and replying to my comments like waaaaah! That’s every fan girl's dreams. I hope to meet them soon.

My Wednesday schedule was always a blockbuster one cos its a whole day. But on our last day in my Consumer Behavior class (my last subject during Wednesday) we played Pinoy games like Bahay, Baboy, Bagyo, and 7UP. And it was so fun, I had fun.  I felt the closeness in us despite some irregular students. This is something we have longed for after a stressful day. Truly one of a kind.

Last October 3, we had our Feasibility Showroom where we presented our Feasib proposal to NU’s stakeholders. We also got to see other section’s feasibility proposals and I was in awe. I didn’t expect that my batchmates do really have incredible minds. The other team in my section even won the first place in Service Category.

Last October 12 I had my internship interview with Summit Media. You guys I am an avid fan of this publishing company since I was 9. I remember my best friend way back in elementary influenced me with Total Girl magazine so we always see to it that we have a monthly copy. Not even minding if we still have money left. Ohhhh I also remember we buy magazine together and I’m feeling nostalgic. Miss you best friend! :( SO BAD! So going back... that is the reason why I immediately applied for an internship position but unluckily... HUHUHUHUHU they need full-time M - F / 8 - 5 PM and I’m from QC and Summit Media is in Ortigas and I still have an evening class and you know Manila traffic is so real. So it is really a big NO. Just imagine my life would be :( But on the other side, I’m just so happy to finally have a step at their office. Gosh, the smell of the office and the ambiance is really what I want like waaaaaah! I can live in their office. LELS!

We got an A in our E-Marketing Proposal. Remember that website copying issue? We bounced baaaaack! We were advised to change our business proposal on this subject and what... we did it. We nailed our presentation. I once said to myself and I even promised my professor this “BABAWI AKO!” Then our new proposal made it! Our panel didn’t even questioned us and just said that we have the best presentation like OMG!!!! That panel is truly one of the terror professors of NU-CBA.

Last October 23, we had our final final final defense for Feasibility and glad to know that everyone in my class passed it. It felt like just talking to our panels since we did a lot of defense prior to the final defense. So it's just a matter of being well-knowledgeable and being confident. After all, we are actually the one who made the proposal so we know it from its roots.

After the defense, we went to Ying Ying to celebrate and to have also our sem-ender. As usual, never a dull moment.

I got my official PLDT internship ID and I’m gonna spend my 2nd semester with them. I officially started last Nov. 08 and the employees were like really very accommodating + my supervisor is literally sooooo cool like everything is allowed but with being punctual and honest as the biggest rule to be followed. My co-interns were really fun to be with as well and I felt them the first time I ever spent time with them. What I also noticed is that people there are very religious, well in my department.

Binondo Hits! We went to Binondo for an interview which I turned down. Then we went to a church but I forgot the name of it. But it is my first time so gotta wish wish wish if you know what I mean hahaha.

My main squad goes to Le Village Foodpark located at E.Rodriguez cor. Cordillera St. which is actually few steps away from my home! Gotta have some bonding time yow. If you are looking for affordable yet IG feed goals food park, this is perfect for you. It's like a Japan-inspired because of the cherry blossom thingy + their CR is literally lit. LELS!

[littlegenie]

Lost?

I’m finally back on Tumblr after how many months of workload. Aahh, I missed how writing blogs makes me at peace. So, let’s have a recap of how my second year proper (2nd semester) went. 

Most dentistry students would say that Second Year Proper or DMD2 (particularly the 2nd semester) is the hardest semester in the entire dentistry life. Well, holy shit. They weren’t kidding at all. Good God, I made it out ALIVE and I’m glad that it’s all over. I thought that this semester was going to eat me alive. Wew. A lot of things have happened in a span of 5 months. Some were good, most were... uhh, bad. 

I don’t know where to start. Ah, this semester was definitely the hardest for me. Just like what they say, it’s the “make it or break it” semester. Well, guess what? I made it. But it broke me. 

So, the semester started sometime in November 2017. Hell, I was scared as f*ck. I was scared of how things will go. I was scared if I’ll make it through the sem. I was scared if I will pass my subjects. Basically, I was scared of what was in store for me. Everything seemed so fragile and I was really agitated to do things. Mind you, I had 7 subjects and all of them had lab works. Good gracious, can you just imagine all the workload? But anyway, since it was just the beginning, I gave my all. I had to invest for my prelim grade since I know that each grading period would just get harder and harder. I guess I could say that I did well during my prelims. But then again, it was just the beginning. I still had more time to spend with my family, friends, and Nico. I grabbed every opportunity that I had just so I could spend time with them, and I’m glad I did. Well, December came and I had to have my Hepa B vaccine, which needed to have my doctor’s consent and to have my CBC (complete blood count) checked, since I’m immunocompromised. I have this sickness called ITP which is an autoimmune disease and it causes my platelets to be low for no apparent reason. Anyhow, wayback midway 2017 (sometime in August-October), my platelets were going up, so I thought that I was already getting better and about to go on a remission. But then when I had my CBC checked last December, my platelet count went low again, so I had to take higher dosage of steroids. (Sad!) I highly believe that stress triggered my relapse. :-( I’m still thankful nonetheless. Midterm came and I was happy because my suffering would finally end in a few months! During the first part of the midterm, everything was going well. I even had time to surprise Nico for his birthday even if shit loads of work were starting to pile up. January was the last month of my “happy days” lol. I noticed that I had little time for everything. I just focused on my studies and that’s it. 

Everything was going smoothly until my nose started to bleed non-stop (I’m an active bleeder due to my condition huhu). I had to be admitted in the hospital during our midterm exam week. Yup, exam week. How lucky. When I was in the hospital, all I could think about was acads. I was thinking of how I’ll be able to keep up with all the laboratory works even when I’m sick, how will I work if my nose bleeds again, etc. etc. Only God knows how stressful February was for me. It was also in that month when my life was at its lowest. I was sick, bruises were all over my legs, platelet count was low even if I’m taking high dosage of steroids, acads was stressful AS F****CK, Nico and I would always fight, had issues at home, had to stay in school till 8pm (every damn day) cause of extra-curricular activities, upon arriving home I still needed to do a lot of things instead of resting. Woooow. I wonder how I made it but heck, I did. (Thank you, Jesus!) 

March came and YAAAAS thank God it’s Finals! But wow, each day of the month went really slowly and I just didn’t care at all. I only came to school just to pass. Tbh, I wasn’t at my best. I knew in myself that that wasn’t “me” cause I know that I always give my best in everything, but now, I didn’t. I was too tired. Too tired to even function. Too tired to care. I wouldn’t even mind if I pass the subject or not. I lost it. I lost myself in the process. 

I can’t believe that it happened again. I lost myself before and now it happened again. It was hard. It is hard. It will never be easy. Now I’m back to square one. Trying to fix things. Trying to get myself together. Trying to put back the pieces that were broken. Baby steps. Each waking day I remind myself that it’s a new day, but of course there would be days that’s just our days - those days when it just hits you; you will be sad again and viola! you’re back to square one. It’s crazy how life goes sometimes, but I’m glad to be alive. All thanks to Him. All these things lead me to where I am today and they did make me become a stronger, better, and a wiser person than who I was before. Here I am, leading my way back to the Lord. I may not see the things that are in store for me but I trust His plans for me. The future may look scary but with God, I know I am safe. 

Feeling lost? Just pray. Everything will be okay. Trust me. Trust Him.

[gjanmary-blog]

Week Eighteen - Farewell

It seems like it was only yesterday when we were still having troubles of what project to pursue, having a hard time dealing with the brainstorming session and I can still remember clearly the time when we needed to change our project due to some conflicts and the feeling of disappointment after hearing the sad news. And look where we are now, we survived the sem! Woohoo!

As a short recap, last week we did the pitching and unexpectedly, we were one of the top 7 finalists who will advance to the final round, demo day.

There were 3 panelists on the final day. All of them were really experienced and might I say, expert in their respective fields. As usual, Almira did the pitching and Errol presented the wireframe. When it's time for Q&A, I was happy when they appreciated our project and they said they like it. I am also glad since we were able to answer their questions but one of the panelists, Mr. Paul, was concerned on how we will do the delivery but overall it went smoothly. (Thank God!)

So here comes the awarding of winners. We were just really sitting there, kinda talking and chilling since it was sort of a closing ceremony BUT the most unexpected thing happened, we were announced as the 2nd Placer! We were dumdfounded actually. I can still remember my teammates' looks when our group was called. Expect the unexpected indeed!

I never thought that we were going to be awarded as the 2nd Placer. God sure knows how to make us happy by His surprises. 💟

Before this blog ends, I just wanna extend my deepest gratitude to my teammates who have been there through thick and thin. We are not a perfect group but I'm glad that we somehow clicked and ended up like that. To our instructor, Mr. Mabulay, who guided us all throughout and for being patient with all of us. To the panelists as well for seeing the potential in us and for believing in us. Lastly, to Almighty God for everything.

This may sound like a farewell but I know that this is only the beginning. I am thankful for this subject for it helped me to grow as a person and it made me realize a lot of things. It molded me into what I am now. It taught me a lot especially on business and also taught me more on how to deal with people since all of us have different personalities. The list could go on but all I can say is that it made me a better person.

The journey was not easy I tell you but if I can do it, why can't you? 😊

[oyjyms]

Dugo, Pawis At Pera (Blood, Sweat, and Money) Part 2

I passed 1st sem! Then when 2nd semester came, it was the biggest challenge so far and I did not know it yet. Yes, still the same problems, money, laboratory, grades and etc. But now it was more complexed, we had to find 2 patients for our Removable Partial Dentures subject. And we were doing this for free. We will be spending for them.

RPD: You would think it would be easy since all the people have teeth? But no, it wasn’t. We had to find certain cases wherein the patient needs dentures where she/he has 4 missing posterior teeth bilaterally. At first we were all eager to start looking for patient. On the first day of class we went to this hospital and a lot of them wanted to volunteer but in the end only few were compliant to come to our school every week. Most of the people have jobs and although some may sacrifice there time, our CI would reject them because there case is far beyond out capabilities. So it was difficult to find one patient let alone 2. For example, the patient I found living nearby was really happy to have dentures but when we did Xray on him, it revealed that his teeth was a special case. I was sure to spend a lot. So the seniors advised me to look for another patient. Luckily, I had a partner! My Korean friend! Yes, the smart friend whom comforted me last sem. She has a senior friend whose maid’s friend was looking for dentures. Haha! Her mom was actually the one who wanted dentures but it turned out she needed complete dentures, so we chose the former. She only had part time job so she complied on going to school every week. Our patient was very compliant. Thanks to God! But that didn’t mean we didn’t have troubles handling her. I don’t want to say that she has a bad personality, she really doesn’t. But our CI told us that she might be a little spoiled. But that was all. For the next patient to look for, it was a group patient. But sadly all the patients that we brought to school were rejected. We did Xray na ha! It was expensive! Good thing there were 10 of us. It took us until last week of February to look for our patient. Yup. Deadly right. And she was just working in the canteen! Right under our noses! Hay! Sadly we didn’t know that the defense for the group patient was earlier than the individual/by pair patients deadline. So we rushed everything: cleaning, the design, restoration, rest seat, framework then we had the dentures. Let me just say it, we were not able to delegate the tasks properly. We didn’t fought but you could see some people were stressed out. We were really tired. We argued but in the end we managed.

CD: When Christmas vacation almost came, my patient had a stroke. She texted me that her face was distorted and she couldn’t come to school anymore. So as for me, I didn’t believe it. I thought she meant that her face was fatigued over the procedures we’ve done so when she finally showed up to school I was really surprised to see that her face was unable to move/feel and one of her eye can’t even blink! I was so shocked, I ran to the faculty room and looked for any Prostho CI and Doc A got her BP and told me it was high. We asked if she had a stroke and she said she didn’t. She told us that she woke up, ate and then her grandchildren were telling her that her face was distorted so she was checked by a doctor and got her prescriptions. According to her, it wasn’t stroke but it clearly was. She even told us that she got so angry the day before that, she had a fight with her son and it was very hot since she was working at there store. She was in denial. I was so worried I had done her wrong and that it was my fault somehow but to her kindness, she reassured me that it wasn’t. She even said that she wanted to continue making the dentures for me since I already started and spent my money.

“Nianhi lang pud ko kay luoy pud bya ang bata, pwede pa man gyapun ko mupadayun.”

Our CI told me that it would be hard for me to make the dentures, I had to repeat all over again because her face was distorted so they opted to let her rest and told me to change my patient. I said “Of course” since my guilt would really eat me up if she continued to become my patient and would suddenly have stroke again. I couldn’t afford it. And for the short span that nanay and I bonded, I really felt warm around her. Afterwards she went home and Doc Ar told me that it would be best to change patient because she might have stroke on my hands and it might get worse. He told me that it was going to be okay, they were going to help me look for another patient. That day, Doc told me to wait for the agent whom supplies us with patients. I went to the library since I was too overwhelmed to deal with everything, I just wanted some silence in the quiet room which I was alone since it was class time. Then, I cried. I forced myself to let it out. There I was alone in the quiet area, sobbing my eyes out. I did not see it coming. For all the chances that my patient would have stroke, who would have thought it would be me? During our first interview and case history she really sounded healthy to me. Me and my friend who was in the other section, we have the same patient, she also thought we got lucky with our patient since she was healthy and would even help us out. But tragedies happen and we hoped it doesn’t happen to us but it does and what happens next is what matters most, not what happened. When I remembered my friend whose going to change px also, I stopped crying, studied for the exam the next day and went back to the room. The agent told me that she was going to get another patient for me next week. My friend came to the classroom and asked me if it was true about the stroke and changing patients. And I told her that it was and it was going to be okay and that we were going to do it next week. Everything we’ve been doing the past 2 months, we were going to do it again in 2 weeks. Huh. Never thought of it that way. My friends were really sad for me and I felt touched by them. They said that why could it have been me of all people? For all the students, why can’t it be the arrogant smartass student? That’s what they kinda told me except they actually mentioned a name. They shared their sympathy for me but I told my friend “Don’t be sad for me, dli man ako nastroke. Ako mang patient. Sya man ang luoy.” And that was that. I realized that anything could really happen. I didn’t want to control and expect so much of my life afterwards but it didn’t stop me from catching up with my classmates. I was gonna start from scratch. Luckily, I had a new patient but my other friend didn’t because it there was somebody else assigned to my patient for their class. She reassured me that it was okay, since I did not wanna waste time because I had classes during that afternoon. And a week after that, I would only get one day. I sit in after my other subject and thank God the CIs allowed me! And I did not even fail to attend my other class so I finished it quick and get back to CD. The information about our patient spread to the faculty room. So Doc B, thank you so much for allowing me to get out of class early. I could see a lot of sympathies and help from everyone which helped me to get back up and try really hard. The Prostho CIs are all kind hearted! I admire them so much. When Christmas vacation came, I didn’t catch up yet. But when classes began with the new year, I think I was optimistic. I think January has its way of making it a month full of possibilities and after weeks of a compliant patient with a kind heart, we catched up to our classmates. When Feb came I was becoming late in our meetings and realized that 2 weeks later so I speed it up. And there I was, about to cook my dentures. My friends would ask me how I did it, I would simply tell them that the CIs really helped me out a lot. But my dentures was still not perfect although I am proud to have tried so hard for to be. And THE SATISFACTION of seeing my patient smile is absolutely breathtaking. Yes, when I saw him smile, I lit up. My patient had better teeth than I had! Haha! He was really glad I made it earlier. He said that his past dentures didn’t fit anymore. I was glad he liked it. I was so happy I think that’s why I fell in love with Dentistry. All the stress felt nothing compared to that smile! In all honesty, it really did. Resto: It was just filling the preps. Just filling the preps. Or so I thought. Again, I was behind schedule and this time I didn’t saw my midterm grade. I was trying so hard in Resto but it looked like I was slacking off. I tried but maybe it wasn’t my best. The lectures were really easy to understand. But when exams came, it was very difficult to comprehend. It was a challenging subject. All the other subjects brought a lot of drama too such as Anesthesiology. It was my first time to inject someone in the mouth. It was dramatic. I was so sad when my partner told me that she failed it. I had a good grade. It was really making me feel guilty even though she said it was okay. Oral Pathology and Orthodontics were fun for me. I had a lot of failures last sem. Specially in my lab finals and lec final exams. But, I passed second sem! Barely! Holy shit! I could tell you so much more stressful stories last sem but I want to end it here. Thanks for taking your time reading this long post! Next up, clinician years: J1, J2, S1, S2. Holy shit. Plus reevaluation before becoming one. I know I’ll fail resto a lot. So help me God.