#so glad he added her to the setlist

[nostalgiabones]

thinking about: promises live

[l4ndon0rris]

Cruel Summer: LN4

part two

Pairing: Lando Norris x singer!OC Isabella Rose Word count: 2.6k + social media elements a/n: ty for the likes on part one, i'm just enjoying writing at the mo for the first time in a while so it means a lot!! lemme know if you want to be tagged for future updates and feel free to hop in my ask box with any thoughts ilu Part One :: Masterlist

Silverstone // July

The Saturday night of Silverstone was in full swing, Lando could feel a thumping of music vibrating in his chest and a constant sound of chatter amongst a crowd. His qualifying had been about what he had expected and though he needed to rest for race day he had promised to watch his friend’s set DJ set before he head home for the night.

 “I’m on right before Isabella Rose, I’ll be her warm-up, shall I?” Martin Garrix nudged Lando’s arm with a laugh causing Lando to stumble slightly as he lost his footing. His mind had shut off at the mention of Isabella’s name. Isabella was here, at Silverstone; Lando’s home race and he was certain that his heart was beating just as fast as it had been during his Qualifying session a few hours earlier. Lando never really paid attention to who played the shows over race weekend but he had never thought of Isabella playing. “Forgot you had posters of her on your wall,” his other friend Max had continued to tease, feeling a sense of accomplishment when he heard Lando’s adamant protests.

“Come off it, mate,” Lando had a smile on his face at his friends joke even if it was at his expense. Subconsciously, Lando’s feet had sped up pace slightly in order to reach the staging area in hopes of bumping into Isabella. “I never did message her,” Lando admitted quietly, a hint of regret in his voice. Lando had told both Max and Martin all about his meeting with Isabella, he’d relayed the night to them still with a hint of disbelief in his voice. Martin’s roar of laughter when Lando had told him ‘I gave her my flower’ was a noise that rang in Lando’s ears for weeks, the pair of friends could hardly catch a breathe between laughter and trying to mockingly play out the ‘romcom scene’ they now referred to it as.

“I knew you wouldn’t have the balls to message her,” still trying to push Lando’s buttons, Max shrugged casually.

Martin jumped on the train of childish teasing adding, “I’m tempted to see if she wants to be on that song I shown you last month, reckon she’d sound sweet singing those vocals…” Lando nodded encouragingly, a prickle of jealousy he didn’t understand flowed through his veins at the idea of Martin getting to spend a lot of time in a studio alone with Isabella.

Martin directed Lando and Max through a backstage area, stepping over wires and mingling through various crew members, Lando was eagerly looking around in hopes of seeing Isabella, his frantic search interrupted by Martin, “she won’t be down here ‘til near the end of my set, mate.”

Lando shook his head nonchalantly trying to act as though he hadn’t just been acting like a meerkat, “yeah, I know, I know…” Lando took a peek out from side stage to glance a view of a festival-like crowd that had formed in front of the stage. The sight of the mass of bodies made Lando withdraw his head with wide eyes, glad it wasn’t his job to entertain them. Wishing his friend luck, he gave him a pat on the back as Martin strode off confidently onto the stage taking place behind his DJ booth to the sound of a roar that was almost deafening.

***

Izzy sat staring at her reflection in the mirror, makeup artist trying their best to do intricate makeup work in between her involuntary movements as the hairstylist tugged her head into a sleek high ponytail atop her head. Getting a fifteen-minute warning from a runner poking their head into the small and chaotic room, she ran through her setlist in her head over and over in preparation mapping out some moves in her head. Both artists finally stopped working allowing her time to dress, opting for a race-appropriate look giving the setting. Trousers baggy enough to perform in had hints of black and white checker against the Ferrari red colour with a simple black crop to match. Izzy hoped that even those in the crowd who were not a fan of her music would at least give her some points for trying to appeal to the masses.

Side-stage was unsurprisingly bustling, being ushered into a position just off-stage Izzy could see the DJ currently performing, his electric energy matching his upbeat song choice. Silhouettes stood in front of her watching on, one must’ve sensed a presence stood behind as they turned over their shoulder and she was met with a familiar face and a familiar flutter erupting.

Lando’s luck had held out, stepping toward Isabella with a hello he couldn’t help but rake his eyes up and down her as she stood in front him looking completely different from the Isabella he had met in Monaco. Isabella then was a lot more relaxed looking an almost natural golden glow illuminated from her but now, she looked fierce and intimidating as she stood in stage costume. Lando’s gaze hadn’t gone unnoticed by Izzy as she cocked her head knowingly at him as his eyes made her way back up to her face, forcing a nervous giggle to escape his lips.

“Sorry, I just… first Mercedes and now Ferrari?” Lando hinted to the bright colour of her trousers, a click from his teeth suggesting his disapproval trying to save himself from the lingering gaze.

“I’ve been told I look good in red,” Izzy shot back at him confidently. The last time she had seen Lando he had left her in a puddle, admittedly he had crossed her mind now and then in the last few weeks but she had not come up with a viable reason to message him since. Clinging onto a glimmer of hope that she would receive an invite from McLaren in the run up to Silverstone but nothing came and Mercedes were always happy to host her. “I am back in the Mercedes garage tomorrow though, so it’s only for one night,” Lando’s face faltered at the news, feeling like the world’s greatest loser, which he knew a lot about considered he had lost plenty of races in his lifetime. Noticing his face drop similar to that of a sad puppy Izzy gave a dismissive shake of her head letting him know it was no issue.

“Maybe next time you can have one of my personal passes,” Lando suggested, perking up with a smile.

“Maybe I’m just not cool enough for McLaren,” Izzy mocked.

Earnestly, Lando replied, “you’re cool enough for me.” Instantly wishing he could swallow the words back into his mouth, that was the least cool thing he had ever said.

The pair locked eyes momentarily finding a sincerity in one another’s presence.

“Isabella, you’re on in two,” a runner thrust a sparkling microphone in hand.

“You get helmets, I get mics,” holding up her customised microphone proudly adorned with a rose. “You gonna’ stay and watch?” Lando noticed Isabella nervously sucking in her bottom lip between her teeth as she asked. A hand appeared from beside her to immediately touch up her lipstick, Lando now realising that their entire conversation has probably been overheard by everyone around – including Max - though he had been focused on only her.

“Yeah, I’m here, I’ll watch,” Lando grinned without hesitation, only afterward thinking of the repercussions of another hour less of rest before raceday. Isabella stepped forward from him stretching her neck and rolling her shoulders, she gave him one last kind smile over her shoulder before she tucked in her earpiece and flipped her hair over her shoulder. Side-stage she was Izzy yet on stage, she transformed; she was Isabella Rose.

***

Lando stood spellbound side-stage as she ended the set with a song the entire crowd sang along with her, Martin and Max had stayed and watched Isabella’s impressive performance with him, the three were included in the echoing of the song from side stage. Even if you weren't an Isabella Rose fan, some of her songs were inescapable and rightfully so. Izzy came bounding off stage toward them, Lando’s toothy grin had taken up most of his face, taking half a step forward before she was swarmed by various people. One was patting her down with a towel, another placing a straw in her mouth to top up her hydration after an exuberant performance, another was placing her microphone back in a case. Lando stood bewildered by the organised chaos and atmosphere that followed her performance, noticing similarities between their respective careers.

“What did ya think?” Isabella’s chest rose and fell rhythmically as she managed her breathing, Lando noticed her flushed cheeks and the droplets of sweat down the sides of her face. Isabella dismissed the entourage of people surrounding her, her commanding nature stirring something within Lando he swallowed with a gulp.

“That was pretty amazing,” Lando’s grin wide, mesmerised from watching her do what she was known for. He had never appreciated how she had earned her success and fame, and the performance was an undeniable reason as to why. Isabella’s white smile broadened across her cheeks at his compliment.

“I’ve got a song I think you’d be perfect on - got Lando to listen to it last month - if you’re free sometime you could listen to it, see what you think?” Lando childishly felt as though his toes were being stepped on as Martin thrust his way into the conversation.

“I’m pretty much holed up in the studio writing all summer: we can arrange something,” Isabella replied enthusiastically to Martin; she was somewhat grateful to him for riling up her encouraging crowd with his set. Lando was curious as to whether that was a professional reply she had repeated times over that would result to nothing or if she was genuinely interested.

“If you let Lando know where you’re writing he can pass the message on,” Martin slapped Lando on the back a bit too enthusiastically. Isabella noticed Lando’s eyes swell, almost bulging out of his head. She bit her lip to try and disguise a shy smile as she debated whether it was from the slap or from embarrassment from his friend setting him up. “Great set, by the way - I’ll catch you later, mate.” Max gave himself and Martin an out in order to leave the two alone backstage, Lando was yet to regain eye contact with Isabella after Martin chucking him in the deep end with his comment.

“It is late: you have a race tomorrow,” Isabella tried to save Lando from evidently spiralling in the moment; finding it quite endearing how nervous he seemed compared to what she had seen of him in media around the paddock. Her algorithm of late seemed to favour him as she endlessly scrolled with interview snippets. Lando finally looked back at Isabella, a glistening still stuck to her skin but her breath had steadied. “What if I told you I’ll be secretly rooting for you from the Mercedes garage?” Isabella teased him playfully, quite enjoying watching him squirm in her presence.

Something flashed across Lando’s eyes, mischievous hint to a smile stretched on his lips, “you can do better than that,” he challenged, his posture changing as he stood taller now. It was Isabella’s turn to be nervous; the way he stood had only emphasised the broadness of his shoulders and the width of his neck as their silhouettes stood in the hazy darkness backstage. The contrast to his boyish look of his face that she undoubtedly found quite easy on the eye and invited her in with every smile. “Say they catch you on the grid walk…” Lando paused, Isabella’s eyebrows knit together – she had been polite on grid walks before, always making time to stop and share her support of her host team. “I think you should publicly declare your support for me there,” Lando couldn’t contain the childish giggle that escaped him when he smiled watching Isabella’s mouth slowly hang open in disbelief.

“Are you trying to get me banned from the paddock!” Isabella exclaimed rhetorically, a hint of a smile trying to break through.

“Told you: can have one of my passes,” Lando reiterated his sentiment from earlier. “I dare you,” Lando encouraged, he could almost hear the cogs turning in Isabella’s head as she stared him down defiantly. He couldn’t help but notice her bottom lip once again rake between her teeth; a habit of hers he had noticed every time. A habit of hers that made him lose his senses every time. Her lipstick was mostly worn away, only smatterings of colour left across her lips his thoughts momentarily wandering to her lip being caught between his teeth.

Isabella had noticed his gaze lowered upon her face, her heart rate quickening similar to when she was performing in front of a few thousand people yet here it was solely Lando having the same effect on her. Gently, Isabella broke the palpable silence and inflating tension that had burdened the two of them, “you need to rest for tomorrow.”

Lando gave a curt nod, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “I expect to see some headlines after the race.”

***

WATCH: Isabella Rose calls herself a TRAITOR on Martin Brundle’s Grid Walk!

Lando’s race had been steady, nothing exceptional, but collecting points for the team was something to be glad of after a slow start to the season. He couldn’t help lingering around the paddock a little later than he usually would, disappointed he hadn’t even spotted Isabella throughout his day. He even doubted whether she had been there to begin with. Max eventually dragged him away from the paddock and managed to coax him back home for the night. Surrounded by friends relaxing, laughter and games Lando relaxed into the evening after another busy weekend, grateful that summer break was looming closer.

A sudden outburst from Max took the attention of the room, “mate, have you seen this?” Holding his phone out toward Lando allowing Lando to take it from him. His face flashed between disbelief, confusion to glee as he hit play on the minute long video on YouTube. Ria shuffled closer across the floor to Lando to peer over at the phone in his hands.

Isabella, lovely to see you again. Martin Brundle caught Isabella’s attention, her face smiling at the camera and back at him. Lando noticed how much more casual she appeared in comparison to the previous night’s outfit; she was like a chameleon adapting to her surroundings at all times. What have you made of the season so far?

It’s been great being able to see three great world champions battle each other so closely! I’m still hoping Lewis can pip Max to the post soon though… maybe today! Martin nodded along with Isabella’s notion.

You mention Lewis there… I take it you’re supporting Mercedes today? Martin probed. Lando’s eyebrows rose when he heard the question awaiting her answer.

Yes, I’m here with Mercedes today backing them, but I must admit I do think Lando Norris is a great driver – I sound like a traitor saying that! – but he’s great, he deserves a great car. Lando’s eyebrows couldn’t get much higher, he was convinced she had glanced at the camera as she said it, talking to him through the screen making a point of completing his challenge.

Great driver, great kid is Lando. Lovely boy, lovely boy. I must move on I’m getting yelled at in my ear… The video ended as Isabella gave a small wave to the camera and Martin walking away. Ria still on her knees on the floor, mouth open at what she was hearing; Max was sat looking over at Lando analysing his reaction. A nervous squeak escaped Lando's tight-lipped bashful smile waiting to erupt on his face. She had accepted his dare, he hadn’t expected her to, perhaps he underestimated her. Lando was already anticipating a comment from Max.

“Mate, you’re in deep with her,” as if on cue, Max poked at him. Lando shrugged it off not ready to admit it just yet.

“I’ve only met her twice!” Lando countered. His thoughts for the rest of the evening were distracted, trying to think of anything other than the glisten of sweat dripping down the sides of Isabella’s neck from the previous night. A pit developed in his stomach; perhaps his friends’ assumption was right. Opening his Instagram he searched her name: she had accepted his challenge and the ball was now in his court.

isabellarose never wanted love just a fancy car

Liked by landonorris, bellasroses and others

bellasroses: killed it as always!! So proud of you          isabellarose: ❤️🌹

landonorris: 🔥🏁           bellasroses: we see you           rosesforever: WHAT omg

rosesforever: this outfit is a SLAY

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Summary: Y/N applies to be a styling intern for the One Direction crew during the Where We Are tour. As she gets better at her job and closer to the band and crew (especially Harry Styles), some of her dreams seem to be coming true, but so are some of her fears.

A/N: There is a lot of cuteness in this one. I feel like there needed to be a bit more of it since the other few chapters were a bit heavier. And I've also been waiting to add something referring to the Today Show song performances, they are just so fun to watch (despite the missing member). Hopefully it's fun to read about too.

Warnings: Some language, a little jealousy, intercourse, mention of Zayn feeling ill

~~~~~

CHAPTER 9 -

EVERY STEP I TAKE I'M FEELING MORE & MORE

Nov 15th, 2014

'Four' officially came out yesterday! It was such a cool moment! You'd heard snippets of the songs, and the album was leaked about a week ago, but it was still an amazing moment to be a part of with all the guys. And you finally got to hear all of the songs in full. Harry jokes that he won't be able to hear or sing 'No Control' without thinking of you, adding that he is thankful it won't be on their tour setlist.

Today was exciting in its own way. One Direction is recording for the Band Aid 30 charity single, and Harry is very focused on that.

"I want to wear something different but that doesn't stand out too much, it's not about me today."

"You have a heart of gold, Harry Styles."

You look into his eyes. [Is he an actual angel or something?]

"I think I have the perfect shirt" and you hand him a cream button up with large black motorcycles scattered on it. Neutral is almost always a safe bet.

~~~~~

At the recording, you are a bit starstruck with so many artists gathering in one room. Since it's a bit crowded, you and Natalie aren't really able to watch them record the whole time. But whenever there is a break between sessions, Amelia gives you and Natalie each a turn to check over the guys' outfits and be on standby.

You get to see them record just a little bit of the chorus, singing 'feed the world' and you can't keep yourself from welling up. Emotions have been something you can't and don't really hold back anymore since 'being with' Harry.

Niall happens to look in your direction for a quick second and smiles.

When it's all done, hours later, everyone piles back into the vans you came in. Niall pulls you and Natalie in their van so you get to ride back to the hotel with them all.

"That was incredible!" Natalie beams. "So many celebrities, and such a good song!" She makes sure to add, "and a great cause, of course."

"Yeah, it's really nice to do something like that." Zayn answers.

Niall elbows you and blurts out, "Superstar over here was bawling!" He laughs.

"I'm glad I had your sweater with me to wipe my snot, thanks!"

Niall lets out his contagious laugh.

Harry, sitting next to you and doing everything he can to keep his hands on his knees, leans over and whispers, "I think you're the one with the heart of gold, Sunshine. Golden."

~~~~~

Nov 16th, 2014

Today you arrive in Orlando. You get to have a little bit of fun and explore Universal Studios, where the guys will be performing tomorrow.

Levi actually flew out to help the sound crew, so Natalie is excited to spend some time with him later. She seems happy and you're happy for her. You two and Amelia move around with the guys during the day, as they do some Q&As and soundchecks. You can't really be around Harry too much, it's too hard not to flirt and touch, so when you actually are, you have got to be extra professional. You see Liam's girlfriend, Sophia, being able to hang on her man. You listen to Natalie talk about how much fun she is having fun with Levi. You don't get to do those things with Harry, and it's been fine while being your little hotel bubble. But now, while out in the open, this is harder. And the worst part is that you don't know if you even have the right to feel this way, not really knowing what you are to Harry. You start to quiet down and close yourself off a bit.

"Anyone want to go on some rides?" Louis asks, super pumped. He points at each person, then lands on you. You shake your head.

"I'm not a big roller coaster person." You shrug.

"Yeah, me neither." You hear Harry agree.

The rest of the group runs over to get on a massive ride, and you wait back with Harry and some security guards.

"Now we get a chance to hang out a little." He says, looking over and smiling. But it disappears quickly, seeming to realize that your mind is somewhere else.

"What's wrong, love?"

You try to respond, "I'm fi-" but he interrupts.

"Please don't. I can tell you're upset."

You sigh as you look at the ground. You make sure to be careful with what you say, in case someone overhears the conversation.

"I'm just bummed that I don't get to hang out here with-" you pause not knowing what to call your relationship, "with the guy I'm into." That's the best you've got right now.

He scoffs. "The guy you're into, huh?" He smirks. "Because he works a lot?"

You shake your head in disagreement. "I don't mind that. He has a cool job."

He smirks back. "I bet it's hard for him too Y/N. I bet he cares about you a lot."

"Maybe." You poke your tongue out at him.

Right then you hear some screaming girls and turn to see a handful of cellphones pointed in your direction. He waves at the small group of fans and apologizes for not being able to head over to them (security reasons). Then he looks back at you.

You can see their hearts breaking, and you get an idea. "Do you think… I organize a little something for them, for later?"

He looks curious but nods. "I trust you." And so you walk over to them.

"Hey ladies! How are you?"

They are shaking and almost crying. "Hiiii! Wow! Do you work with One Direction?"

"Yep!" You motion them to lean so that they can hear what you're about to say.

You whisper, "I'm sorry they can't really step out here right now. But… if you are going to be at the next Q&A, come find me afterwards and I can try to get you a quick special moment for autographs and photos."

"Oh my gosh! No way! Thank you!" They squeal.

"It's my absolute pleasure ladies! You mean so much to them. You're the reason they get to do this!" You wink at them and you add, "And that gives me a job too!" You say goodbye and walk back towards Harry.

He still looks extremely curious, since he didn't get to hear what was going on.

"Well, I'm sorry, I added one more quick thing to your schedule."

He smiles. "That's… the best. You're the best, Sunshine."

His comment doesn't even register in your mind. "And now they know I work with you, so they won't think anything is going on here."

He frowns a little and whispers, "but that's not really true…"

You sigh and whisper back, "but it is out here…"

~~~~~

Nov 17th, 2014

The rest of the day yesterday, you were both pretty quiet, and busy, but he still tried what he could to make you smile- with silly comments and faces every so often. That's who he is.

The morning is a little chaotic. Zayn isn't feeling well, and won't be participating in the 'Today Show' performance. This means the guys have to take over his parts of the songs, so there was a bit to figure out and practice before getting on stage later.

You figured you wouldn't see much of Harry today, but it's between some Q&A appearances, and he is walking up to you with two coffees in hand.

He motions you over to a little secluded walkway on the side of a store and hands you your drink.

He frowns. "You are beautiful, Sunshine!" Then he smiles. "I'm so lucky."

"Hey, love. You look great!" He looks you up and down, but you roll your eyes. You're wearing a white and grey horizontal striped button up tucked into light denim jeans, white sneakers, and your hair in a ponytail. Nothing special.

You mildly giggle. "Because you get to see me?"

"No. Because I get to be with you." He argues.

You roll your eyes again. "Well, you won't be with me for long, you're performing soon."

"That's not what I meant." He stops what he was saying and looks up at you. He coughs. "I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday."

You shake your head. "You didn't upset me. I was just in a weird mood and being dumb."

"How so?"

Surprisingly, you don't even stop to think, before letting all your thoughts out. "I was getting jealous. It's so dumb. I was seeing Liam and Sophia together, and hearing Natalie talk about Levi… and I was jealous. Like I said, it's dumb. I've been having such an amazing time with you... I knew the little bubble would pop at some point, but I guess I wasn't ready for it to feel that way. It just bummed me out that I didn't get to walk around with my boyfriend and hold his hand."

You realize what you just said. Your heart stops and your eyes suddenly shoot up to his. You instantly put your hands up to your face, trying to convince yourself not to make a run for it.

[Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit]

He doesn't say anything right away. You're starting to panic a little, feeling like you just screwed up everything again. Instead of pushing him away from not expressing your feelings, now he'll run away because you're expressing them too much!

"Umm… boyfriend?" He asks, quietly. You want to cry.

"Oh god. I'm sorry. No, I... I didn't mean to say that." [That might be a lie]

"So you didn't mean me?"

You're embarrassed and your cheeks are getting more red by the second. You can only look down at this point and shut your eyes tight. You're getting scared. But you've done so well at not hiding your feelings anymore and don't want to lie.

"No, I-..." [Tell the truth. Say something!] "Oh god. I just meant... in general." [Nope, lie]

"So you don't want me to be your boyfriend." He says, less of a question and more of a conclusion.

"No. I… shit," you growl at yourself for being so flustered and fucking this up. "I think I do... I'm sorry… I do want that." And there's the end of whatever you two had.

All of a sudden you feel his hand on your chin, pulling it upward. You quickly look around, but no one can see you.

"Don't be sorry. Look at me please." He requests.

"Yeah, I'd rather not at this moment."

"Sunshine. Please look at me." His gentle tone is the reason that you do what he asks, seeing the biggest smile you've ever seen on his face.

"Can you say it again?"

"What?"

He clears his throat. "Can you say it again, but to me this time?"

You whisper, "my... boyfriend…"

He closes his eyes and he lets out a strong exhale. "See? I'm so lucky, because I get to be with you, the most beautiful girlfriend ever."

Your heart stops again.

"This is all kind of new to me, love. I can't promise we can be all lovey in public, yet, I want to protect this. But I can promise that you don't have to wonder how I feel about you. I'm yours."

"I don't care, H. As long as we know where we stand, then I can handle it."

"You called me 'H'. I like it."

He turns you around so no one can see you, then pulls you in for the most tender kiss you two have shared so far.

You walk back out where everyone else is and the group of fans from earlier finds you instantly. Their mouths drop, seeing Harry standing next to you.

"Hey ladies!" [Thank god they didn't come over there a few minutes ago]

You look at your watch and then at Harry, seeing if they have a few minutes for those girls. He nods.

"Okay, let's sneak over to the side of that little stage. I'll grab the rest of the guys. I'm sorry Zayn isn't here though, he's a bit sick."

Once everyone is gathered, the guys graciously sign some posters and take photos, thanking them for their support. The girls even give you hugs and thank you for doing that for them.

After it's done, you look at the guys. "Sorry I threw that at you guys. They had looks so heartbroken earlier, I couldn't take it. I just wanted to do something special for them."

The guys look at each other and then smush you into a group hug. "We love our fans! And we love you for doing that for them!" Niall reassures you.

"I told her she's the best for doing it!" Harry adds, and squeezes your waist as you continue to get smuthered in the group hug.

~~~~~

You're now standing around with the guys before they go on the big stage for their 'Today Show' performance. It's a bit crowded in the little space off to the side, with all the crew from One Direction's team and from the show. You and Harry wiggle your way to each other, so you can do your job of course, and you subtly squeeze his hand. He looks down at you and winks.

"Good luck Rockstar."

"Where are you standing?"

You get a mischievous look and shrug. "Game time. Have to find me." He suddenly bites his lower lip at your words and you can't help but stare down at them for a moment.

"Settle down, Sunshine. M'bout to go on stage, can't have my pants too tight up there." He whispers

You poke your tongue out at him. He smirks and adds, "hey, I said settle down."

You shake your head. "Have fun, H." You walk away.

You and Natalie stand over by the sound booth, away from everyone else. She gets to be with Levi and you get a good view of Harry.

'Steal My Girl' is being introduced first and as he looks to his right, he instantly notices you. He does a funny little clap. They start singing and he looks over again, doing a funny little dance. As Niall's part ends, he licks his finger and pretends to play the bass guitar.

[Umm... why was that so hot?]

"Harry's in a good mood today…" Natalie observes.

You haven't had the chance to tell her what happened earlier. So all you can do is blush. "He's always goofing around on stage."

"Mhmm…" She responds.

He's stealing glances the whole time. Natalie seems to notice it a lot during 'What Makes You Beautiful' and 'Best Song Ever'.

Harry Styles… now your boyfriend… is up on stage singing beautiful songs, being adored by everyone. But when he looks over, you feel as if he's singing just to you.

You might never get rid of the constant butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.

[He's definitely not the lucky one here, you are]

~~~~~

Nov 23rd, 2014

Today has already been extremely busy, because tonight is the American Music Awards. One Direction are nominated in multiple categories and you are so excited for them.

The downside is that you don't really get to be involved in the event. You and Natalie are able to join the crew but only observe the process of getting them ready. It makes sense though, the award shows are a big deal, so of course the head stylist is going to take control.

Harry is one of the first ones to get ready. You love the jacket with the gold details that he picks. He does find you after he changes and asks what your thoughts are. You reassure him that it is perfect.

Once they are ready to head to the red carpet, you give each guy a hug and wish them good luck. It takes everything in you not to kiss Harry.

The rest of the crew who are staying behind gather in the trailers to watch the interviews and the award ceremony. It is fun to see what celebrities are there, and everyone's unique style.

You can't help but laugh when the guys are interviewed by two very nice ladies, but are clearly uncomfortable… Harry ends it after one of them asks Zayn about her shoulders. These guys are so polite, it's too funny at times.

~~~~~

The night goes on and One Direction wins three awards! Each time they win, everyone in the trailer cheers, claps, stomps their feet, etc. That's been the upside of the night. You may not get to be inside with the band but this feels like it may be an ever better experience. You're surrounded by so many other people who work behind-the-scenes, yet don't get/need any credit for it. They all love the guys too. Plus, you get to be as loud and crazy as you want when you celebrate.

After winning the third award, you send a group text to them all.

:you: i am so fucking proud of you all! you are probably my favorite pop/rock band… i'm pretty sure i voted for you ;) you work so hard and you deserve this, love you guys!

:niall: and i'm your favorite band member right? :)

:liam: thanks darling! we love you too. ps. vote for liam

:zayn: thanks love! i'm best dressed right?

:louis: so that leaves me with 'most talented'!

:harry: thanks for always supporting us.

And then you get a separate text from Harry.

:harry: you've made this the best year yet, Sunshine. i won when i met you.

:you: i'm so proud and happy for you, H.

:you: but do you ever stop being cheesy?

:harry: what? you don't think my lines are… gouda?

:you: oh my god.

:harry: i'll see you later and we can celebrate?

:you: the awards or your terrible joke? :)

:harry: both, but definitely more so the joke!

:you: goodbye!

Then you get a separate text from Niall.

:niall: i love you, you're one of my best friends, but i'll cut you out if you don't stop texting harry! he is biting his lip & i swear he's gonna try to start rubbing my thigh in a minute.

:you: are you not already used to that? ;)

~~~~~

There are post-show interviews, that can take a while, so you and Natalie have time to help pack up and then head to Harry's house.

:you: need me to make you some food?

:harry: too good to me, maybe a sandwich?

:you: done, see you soon

:harry: see you soon love xx

As you finish putting his food together, with a glass of champagne as celebration, Harry walks through the door.

"Congratulations on your terrible joke!" You laugh.

"Thank you, Sunshine. I worked so hard on it!"

"But seriously, H, I'm so proud of you."

He is standing in front of you and gives you a sweet kiss on the cheek, then grabs his sandwich to take a bite.

"Mmm, just what I needed." He smiles.

"I can give you something else if you want…" you wink.

"You little minx." He smirks. "I want to, so badly, but I might pass out as soon as I hit the bed. I'm so sorry, love." He drops his head, looking as if he disappointed you.

You grab his face so he will look at you. "Hey. I'm not with you for your dick… it's a nice perk though. I like doing 'normal' boyfriend/girlfriend things with you too." You kiss his lips. "Finish eating and we can go cuddle in bed. I'll be the big spoon if you want."

~~~~~

Nov. 24th, 2014

Cuddling with Harry is one of your favorite things to do. It didn't take him long to fall asleep, and you were able to just lay there and admire him. The shape and feel of his body, the tattoos that seem to be perfectly placed, the smell of him that you just seem to love so much… it's all perfect. He's perfect. You have to soak it all up right now too, because the boys are headed to Australia for the ARIA awards show and some tv appearances, and you won't be joining this time.

Since Harry will be leaving tomorrow for Sydney, you want to do something special for him. You wake up early, rummage through the bag you have packed, and find the lace lingerie you bought just for this occasion. You sneak into the bathroom to put it on and throw on a puffy robe to cover up the surprise.

Natalie left for Levi's, so you go down to the kitchen to start some coffee and make some breakfast.

He makes his way down just as breakfast is ready. "Good morning, love. Smells good in here!" He pauses to look at you in the robe. "You look comfy."

"I was going to get dressed but I just needed to put on something cozy." You lie.

"I said you look comfy. That doesn't mean you don't look sexy."

You blush. He walks up to you and you hand him a coffee mug. He takes a few sips, then grabs the mug from your hand and puts them both on the counter.

He grabs around your waist with one arm and pulls you closer to him. He uses his other hand to cup your cheek, landing a strong, but sweet kiss on your lips.

"I love this." He mumbles, and his lips instantly find that spot on your neck. He starts to run his hand under your robe to grab your breast, then suddenly pulls away and smirks.

"What's going on here, hmmm?"

"I don't know what you mean." You say, playing coy.

He pulls the tie on your robe and opens it up, stepping back to take it all in. You let the robe fall.

He lets out a quick exhale and steps right back to you, grabbing under your ass and picking you up. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. You meet each other's lips and move perfectly with each other. You bite his lower lip and he quietly moans. He walks you a few steps and holds you against one of the kitchen walls. He takes his lips off yours and moves them back to your neck.

"Oh my god," you whisper.

He grabs you tighter and pushes his hips against you more. You use one hand to grab his curly hair. He hums against your neck. This alone is giving you so much pleasure and you are already so wet.

He adjusts his grip and then swings around to put you on the counter. Your legs and arms still wrapped around him. He places one hand on your back and uses the other to pull down on your lace panties. You lift up enough so he can slide them off, and drop your legs down so they can fall on the floor. He runs his free hand up and down your thigh, grabbing it for a second each time he moves it. Then he runs his finger tips up and down your center, making subtle circles when he reaches the top.

"Please, H. Please go in." You beg. And he slides both fingers in gently. You grab his hair tighter.

He starts to pick up his pace, hitting your spot perfectly each time, like he always does.

"Love, I'll get you to finish like this if you want. But I do really want to fully be inside you." He states.

"I want that too." You utter.

He pulls you closer so that you are right at the edge of the counter, then pulls his pants down to his thighs. You lean back on your hands and he wraps one arm around your waist, then uses his other to slightly prop up one of your legs.

"Safe?"

"Yes."

He teases with his tip for just a second before sliding in. "Fuck, love, this always feel so good!"

You hold his head still so you can kiss him again, him separating your lips with his tongue to deepen the kiss.

As he picks up his pace you moan against his lips, which makes him go faster. You throw your head back and can only keep exhaling heavily as he gets you closer. "Harry, I'm close!" He thrusts harder. "Oh god. Please keep doing that!"

He lets out a grunt which you know means he's close too. One more thrust and you're done, just as he pulls out and releases on your stomach.

He puts his arms on either side of your waist, leaning against the counter, as he catches his breath. You grab his face for a kiss.

He looks in your eyes, his gaze flickering back and forth between the two. "I love being here with you." He confesses. "I'm so sorry I have to leave tomorrow."

He stands up, helps you clean up, and then helps you off the counter.

"It's alright, H. How about we just lounge around and watch movies? Normal couple type stuff."

"Perfect." He looks at your plates and laughs. "Go pick one and I'll remake breakfast."

"I'm going to change first."

He pouts. "Boo, no fun." Then he starts singing.

(No Control)

Powerless

And I don't care, it's obvious

I just can't get enough of you

The pedal's down, my eyes are closed

No control

~~~~~

Series Masterlist || Chapter 8 || Chapter 10

Taglist: @watermelonsugacry @tw1nflamebruis3 @slut4lilyrose @pinktakeaway @hopefulwastelandcreation

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART TEN

:Masterlist:

A/N: And that’s a wrap! Ahh, writing this series has been so fun and I’m so glad that so many of you have liked it so much. Thank you guys for staying until the end and hopefully for upcoming stuff 👀 I hope you enjoy the finale of In Life, In Death... <3

(Also the song mentioned in part six and this part is ‘She Is Love’ by Parachute) <3

-

December 1994

Luke groaned as he woke up, squinting hard to try and adjust his eyes to the amount of light in the room.

Even before he could see clearly, he knew he must've fallen asleep in the studio judging by the soreness in his back and neck that he always got when he slept on the old couch. It couldn't have been more than six in the morning, and Luke could still feel the tiredness in his bones. So he tried to turn away from the light and hopefully fall back asleep, but there was something keeping him firmly in place.

His heart skipped when he looked down and saw that you were laying right next to him with your head on his chest and an arm thrown across his stomach. When he realized that his own arms were wrapped around you, his heart broke out into a full-on tap dance.

Waves of confusion ran through his still-foggy brain until he saw his guitar case propped up against the piano and his backpack on the floor with his clothes spilling out of it.

Then the events of last night quickly came back to him.

How he had gotten home late from rehearsal and his mom was waiting in the kitchen with his latest report card and her signature lecture at the ready. One minute he was standing there yelling, packing all he could fit into his bag, and the next, he was halfway to the studio with the rain soaking him head to toe.

He had expected it to be empty when he finally got there, but he was flooded with relief when he saw you. All the frustration slowly melted out of him the longer he laid there with you, leaving him feeling exhausted and shivering despite how warm he felt.

The last thing he wanted to do was talk about any of it, but when you asked, the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

He remembered rambling and crying again, the sound of your voice and the feeling of your fingers in his hair warming him up even more. Then finally, he remembered falling asleep with his chin tucked on top of your head, the smell of your shampoo filling his senses.

Without thinking, Luke reached down and carefully pushed a piece of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear and smiling to himself when you shifted into his touch. Then taking in a sharp breath as the realization ran through him all the way down to his toes.

You were his best friend.

The person he wanted to see at the end of a long day. Whenever he was full of anger or lost in confusion, all he had to do was look at you and everything suddenly made sense again. With your pretty smile and laugh, and your way of flipping that little switch inside him that made his head all fuzzy and the ground start spinning under his feet.

You were his best friend, and he was in love with you.

-

2020

All you felt was a mixture of anxiety and nausea as you stood on the Orpheum's street corner, biting the tips of your fingernails.

The entire plan hinged on Willie and Teddy getting everything done in time, and considering that they had betrayed you all before, you couldn’t help but expect the worst.

“Look, don’t worry. Willie said he’ll get us on that marquee.” Alex said nervously as he kicked pebbles across the sidewalk.

“This is going to work, right?” Reggie asked.

“It has to.” Luke mumbled, wincing seconds later when another shock hit them.

Two sharp pops cut through the air behind you and you all whipped around to see Willie and Teddy standing just a few feet away. Willie was watching you all carefully with concern written all over his face, his eyes lingering on Alex longer than anyone else. Teddy stood at the edge of the group, practically burning a hole in your face with his guilty stare.

“Are you guys okay?” Willie asked.

“Yeah, nothing we haven’t felt before.” Alex laughed awkwardly. “How’d it go?”

“Well, when the opening band wakes up, they’ll find their bus two hundred miles out of Vegas.” Willie said with a proud smile as he did a spin, showing off his stolen jacket with the band’s name across the back.

“With absolutely no chance of getting back in time.” Teddy added.

Luke gave Willie a fistbump and pointed up to the office above the Orpheum. “That means there’s probably a promoter up there freaking out right now.”

Willie grinned, sarcasm laced in his tone. “Nah, man. This is Hollywood. I’m sure he’s being very professional.”

You laughed and then Alex slowly inched forward, clearly struggling for the right words to say to Willie. You gave his arm a quick squeeze before following Reggie and Luke down the street to give them space. Before you even got halfway down the sidewalk, Teddy poofed next to you.

“You know, If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you don’t want to talk to me.” He joked.

“Teddy-”

"I just-I didn't want to leave things the way we did." He rambled. "I'm sorry, I should've told you everything that night in the diner-"

"Teddy, It's okay." You said. "You told me before Caleb could put the stamp on me, and you didn't know the details about the plan until after it was too late to help my friends. Plus, I know how much you're risking helping us now."

As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt some of the weight fall off your shoulders. You weren't sure why since the situation was still a little painful and awkward. But being around Teddy always made you feel a little like that kid who started working at the diner with Cece all those years ago. Besides, they were so alike that you found it hard to stay mad at him.

You held out your hand for Teddy to shake. "Despite everything, I'm glad we met."

“Likewise, Gorgeous,” Teddy said with a relieved smile as he grasped your hand. With a subtle wink, he nodded over towards where Luke was standing at the end of the street. “He’s a lucky guy.”

"What? How did you?-" You sputtered as he stepped away. You never told Teddy about Luke, or at least you didn't think you did.

Teddy just smirked in response before disappearing into the air. At the same time, you saw Willie skate away out of the corner of your eye, leaving Alex alone on the sidewalk.

You all phased next to him and Luke squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah. I'm good." Alex smiled slyly as he gestured to the office. "Looks like this show needs a new opening act though."

You grinned. "Let's go see if we can help with that."

-

When you got back to the studio, you found Julie pacing back and forth in the middle of the room as she wrung her hands together.

When you all poofed in, she immediately jumped into a load of questions, losing her breath halfway through and flailing her arms around.

"Whoa, just sit down," You laughed excitedly. "We'll tell you everything."

Julie took a gasping breath and plopped backwards onto the couch then stared at you all with expectant eyes. "Well?"

"It worked!" You announced. "Everything's fine."

"You should be getting the call...now!" Alex pointed to Julie’s phone on the table just as it started buzzing. You all cheered and Julie shushed you as she answered the call.

You heard a woman's voice say something through the phone and Julie gave a thumbs-up as she started jumping on the couch. You watched in amusement and mild horror as Luke and Reggie lifted Alex up into the air and spun him around.

Once he was back on the ground, Luke and Reggie made a beeline for you, each of them grabbed one of your arms and flipped you upside down over their shoulders.

You all spent the next twenty minutes laughing and screaming and Alex even got a little teary-eyed but you pretended not to notice. Then Julie called Flynn and ran off excitedly to decide her outfit for the night, leaving the four of you alone to plan out the setlist.

“Okay, so I’m thinking we start with Stand Tall.” Luke said excitedly as he wrote the words down in his songbook.

“Sounds good.” Reggie said, suddenly quiet.

“’Sounds good’? Guys, I wanna hear ‘That sounds awesome!” Luke reached out and nudged Reggie’s shoulder. “I know this isn’t the way we imagined any of this. But we need to be all in tonight. This is our second chance to play the Orpheum!”

“I get it.” Reggie sputtered. “But it’s hard. Do we even know what’s on the other side when we cross over? Do we still get to hang out together?”

You shifted your weight as the happy little bubble surrounding you popped. You had been so wrapped up in the excitement of finally playing the Orpheum that you almost forgot what tonight was really about.

“You guys are the only family I have.” Reggie’s eyes were glued to the piano as he played with his fingers. You reached out and locked his arm with yours in an attempt to comfort him.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen either. But it’s not like we have a choice.” Alex said.

Suddenly, Reggie’s arm fell out of yours as all three boys fell back, clutching their sides.

“I’m pretty sure we do.” Reggie groaned. “And it rhymes with ‘Hollywood Ghost Club’.”

The garage doors creaked open and Julie appeared with a bright smile and a blue garment bag in her hand. When she saw your expressions, her smile fell. “What’s wrong?”

“We just got hit pretty hard by one of those jolts.” Alex said. “But we’re fine.”

“Oh, good.” She nodded, though she still looked on edge. “I’m nervous.”

“That makes two of us.” You said. “But we made it this far for a reason. We got this.”

“Can you ride there with me? I'm gonna need more pep-talk material for the drive there cause I still think I might puke.” Julie tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Of course, and don't worry, we’ll leave the windows open.” You joked, making everyone laugh.

The sound of a car horn cut through the air and Julie looked outside. "That's my dad. Are you ready, (Y/n)?"

You nodded. "Yeah, uh, give me a second. I'll meet you in the car."

As Julie disappeared behind the doors, you turned to the boys and sighed as you tried to soak up this moment. For all you knew, this could be the last little window of time you had alone with them before tonight.

Julie was a huge part of the band of course, but these were your boys. The ones who you started this all with, who had been by your side for everything.

From the look on all their faces, you could see that they were thinking the same thing.

Without saying a word, you launched yourself at Alex. He made a surprised noise but recovered quickly, throwing his arms around you and holding you tight.

"And I'm the emotional one?" He jokingly muttered in your ear and you pinched his side, making him jump back. "Rude."

As soon as your arms were open, Reggie stepped forward and hugged you so tightly that you were thankful to not need oxygen anymore because he was definitely crushing several vital organs.

You laughed and gave him one last squeeze before pulling away, locking eyes with Luke instantly.

Alex cleared his throat awkwardly and grabbed Reggie's shoulder, steering him over to Luke's songbook to 'check out the setlist again'.

"And then there were two." Luke joked.

You laughed and stepped into his waiting arms, making him laugh. You soaked up the feeling of comfort and familiarity for a minute before pulling away.

"This, uh, is for you," Luke said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion as he handed it over. "I wanted you to have it in case...well, you know. If tonight doesn't work."

"It will." You said, trying to ignore the fact that it very well could happen. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Patterson."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He quipped back, his voice sounding softer and less teasing than you would've expected. You pulled back from him and because you didn't know if you would ever get another chance, you stood on your tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek.

You moved away too fast to see his reaction but the gesture made the other two boys smirk at you as you dashed out of the doors, making a beeline for the car pulling out of the driveway.

-

The back rooms of the Orpheum were a maze.

You had left for a few minutes to walk around the venue and clear your head, trying to wring out the last of your nerves.

By the time you found your way back, you expected to find the rest of the band rushing to get ready in the dressing room. But all you saw was Julie anxiously pacing as she had been earlier, a habit she seemed to have inherited from both you and Alex.

“You okay?”

She snapped her head up towards you and sighed. “Yeah, just a little worried. The guys aren’t here yet.”

You looked around the room and then at the clock, frowning. The show was in less than half an hour and that was already cutting it close. Part of you wanted to go check on them but Julie seemed to need you more at the moment.

“Okay, well, give them another ten minutes. I'm sure they'll be here. They wouldn’t miss this…again.”

You ran your palm across the front of your pocket, feeling Luke's note next to your parent’s photo, and hoped you were right.

But then more and more time passed until the stage manager came to escort Julie to the stage.

"Just a second!" She calls out and then turns to you. "(Y/n), something's wrong. They were getting those jolts pretty hard before we left. They must've run out of time."

You shut your eyes tight as the words sunk in. All you could bring yourself now was, ‘This isn't what was supposed to happen.’

The world fell out from under your feet and you had trouble even standing up straight as you imagined what must've happened to them. Your best friends, your brothers, your family was gone and there wasn't anything you could do about it.

The guy knocked again, this time a little harder and with a nervous tone. Julie chewed her lip as she looked between you and the door and you could almost see the cloud of grief settling over her.

As hard as it was, you tried your best to shove your feelings down and marched up to Julie. There would be time to fall apart later, but you knew that this what they would want you to do. "Let's go do this for them, okay?"

She took a deep, shaky breath before hesitantly nodding. You followed closely behind her as she walked out the door though the halls until she reached the stage. You waited beside Flynn in the wing as Julie settled behind her microphone and addressed the crowd.

There were scattered claps from around the venue and then she took a deep breath before singing the opening.

After the first few lines, you took your cue and materialized at the center of the stage. The crowd gasped and cheered the way they always did, but you kept your eyes shut tight and focused on the music.

Just as the song started picking up, you heard a familiar pop in the air and then the sound of drumming. You whirled around to see Alex mounted onto a drum set at the back of the stage, twirling his drumsticks around and smiling like he had never been gone at all.

Once you got over the initial shock, you wanted to cry with relief. They were okay, they were here. Alex winked at you goofily, and you ran towards Julie’s keyboard.

She had started bouncing on the balls of her feet, both of you finally getting into the song now that they were coming back. You followed suit, dancing around the base of the drum set as yours and Julie’s voices came together.

Then Reggie appeared on the other side of Julie and you ran to his side. You bumped his shoulder with yours and he grinned, moving to stand back to back.

The song was ramping up to the chorus when a staticky noise cut through the air, not loud enough for the crowd to hear but enough to make you all look over to the other end of the stage.

You could see Luke's form fading in and out, a look of anguish on his face, and the pit in your stomach opened up again. The crowd was on the edge of their seats as Alex's drumming paused and Luke finally materialized to sing the opening of the chorus.

You didn't even know you were moving until you suddenly found yourself across the stage next to Luke, unable to stop smiling as you sang.

Julie joined you, throwing her arms up in the air happily and jumping around. Reggie appeared by her side, flashing the crowd a winning smile.

Alex stood up and gripped his mic as he sang this solo. You looked back at him and flashed him a proud smile, then whooping loudly when Reggie sang his lines.

You all went down the line hitting your notes until the chorus kicked in again and your heart felt so full you almost couldn't stand it. This was what you were so close to achieving before you died, it was all you had wanted for years, and you knew that if you hadn't died, that night would've changed your life. But this night was something even more special. Because you were all here, all together.

Even if it was just for one last song.

Julie caught your attention and nodded towards the platform that spread out into the crowd. You followed her to the center and stood back to back as everyone cheered.

The guys joined in on either side of you, Alex grabbing one of your hands and Luke holding the other. You all bowed to the audience before taking your cue and vanishing, leaving only Julie on stage.

You landed in the wing, feeling a little lightheaded and overwhelmed from all the emotions you had experienced in the last five minutes. The elated smile fading from your face when all three boys poofed by your side only to fall to the floor instantly.

“It didn’t work.” You said miserably as Julie emerged into the backstage area. She grabbed Flynn and whispered something to her, pointing in the direction of her family. Flynn nodded and disappeared into the crowd while Julie ran to your side.

You hauled Alex onto his feet, letting him lean on you to stay upright while Luke and Reggie trailed behind Julie as she led the group back to the dressing room. Once everyone was inside, they collapsed on the couch or the floor, loudly groaning in pain.

“What happened? Why didn’t it work?” Julie asked tearfully.

“I guess playing here wasn’t our unfinished business.” Alex said hollowly.

“Point Caleb.” Reggie muttered as he clung to the side of an armchair.

You stood frozen next to Julie as panic spread through your whole body, both of you flinching in sympathy as the shocks continued.

“You have to save yourselves right now.” Julie begged. “Join Caleb’s club. It’s better than not existing at all!”

“She’s right.” You managed to say, your voice shaky and almost giving out. Your stomach flipped at the thought of them having to work for an evil club owner forever, but the alternative was worse. “You guys need to go now! For me. For us.”

“We’re not going back there.” Reggie shook his head.

Luke pulled himself up and stumbled forward a little so that he was right in front of you. “No music is worth making if we’re not all making it together.”

You sighed sadly, thinking back to your conversation yesterday. “So no more regrets?”

Luke let out a deep sigh and then reached up and cupped your cheek with his right hand. “Just one.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in response and Luke blinked hard as if he was trying to find the words. "I never told you why I left that night."

"Luke, don't." You gave him a weak smile. "I get it."

"You do?" He asked.

You struggled to get the words out. "Yeah, I mean it was bound to happen eventually. We just got too close and it was weird for you. I understand t-”

"What?" Luke asked, cutting you off with a confused look. "No, no, that's not it at all. Read the-"

Before he could finish, you heard Julie gasp loudly from a few feet away. You looked over to see her stepping back from Alex with an awestruck look on her face as she gripped his forearms.

Wait, what?

Before you could even begin to process what you were seeing, Reggie was reaching out to Julie, who grabbed his wrist and hauled him up to his feet. The three of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Julie turned to you and Luke.

“Guys, come here.”

Alex reached out and pulled you into his side while Luke threw an arm around Reggie’s back and Julie brought you all in closer to her. At first, nothing happened. But then there was a faint buzzing sound and the boys lifted their wrist towards the ceiling and you all watched in awe as the stamp floated away in the blink of an eye.

“Whoa.” Reggie said, his eyes still glued to the ceiling. “I don’t feel as weak anymore.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Alex agreed. “Not that I ever was that weak in the first place.”

You rolled your eyes and let your head fall over on his shoulder. “What do you think that means?”

Luke smiled. “I think it means the band is back.”

It was quiet for a second before Alex looked at you all shyly. “You guys think we can try that hug thing again?”

You laughed as you huddled together again, sniffling and laughing. Then Julie yelled out that you had played the Orpheum and then you were all jumping around, still tangled in each other’s arms.

Eventually, you all broke apart and while the boys started chasing each other around, you turned to Julie. She looked into your eyes and immediately flew into your arms, muttering into your shoulder, “I always wanted a big sister.”

The words warmed your heart and you squeezed her extra hard, grateful that you actually could now. “Well, I’m honored.”

“My family's probably looking for me so..." Julie stepped back from your arms with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on her face, you jokingly bowed to her and she copied the gesture before disappearing behind the door.

You wiped the last of your tears out of your eyes and turned around to find Alex and Reggie were talking in whispers and wearing knowing smiles. When Alex saw you looking, he cleared his throat and nudged Reggie’s shoulder.

“Hey, Reg.” Alex said cheekily, not taking his eyes off of you for even a second. “I was going to check out the next band. You wanna come with me?”

“Sure!” Reggie started strolling towards the door, stopping only for a second to nudge your shoulder and whisper ‘don't do anything I wouldn’t do’ in your ear.

Alex fixed Luke with a pointed look over his shoulder and Reggie gave him a dorky wink before they poofed away. You smiled fondly at the space where they were just standing and awkwardly turned towards Luke.

“Hi.” You said, laughing awkwardly.

“Hi.” Luke muttered back as he stepped forward until he was close enough to grab your hand. “About what I was saying earlier…”

You opened your mouth to say something but he shook his head and pointed to your pocket. “Read it. Please.”

You tugged the note he had given you earlier out of your pocket and carefully folded it open to see that it wasn’t a note at all. It was the love song that Julie had found that day in the garage, the one that he didn’t want anyone to see. You struggled a little trying to decipher Luke's handwriting. The ink was a little smudged and the song was clearly unfinished but it was the most beautiful thing you had ever read. And he had written it for you.

"I didn't leave because we got too close," He said. "It was the opposite, (Y/n), I left because I was scared to lose you, and I know that doesn't make sense because I kind of did w-"

You carefully tucked the paper back in your pocket with one hand and grabbed the back of his neck with the other, pulling him down and closing the last bit of space between you.

Luke's brain short-circuited for a second before he started kissing back, grabbing your waist with enough force to nearly knock you both backwards. It was dizzying and a little desperate, yet weirdly familiar, as if you'd been kissing him your whole life.

Most moments with Luke felt like they were happening in slow motion, but this time it was like a high-speed movie montage of your whole lives. The stolen crayons, the time capsule, the pre performance pep talks, the smell of cinnamon, the ferris wheel, his jacket, the movie nights and songwriting sessions. All of it had led up to this moment.

"I love you." Luke said immediately after you pulled away. "God, I love you so much. I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry."

“Hey, it’s okay.” You laughed, blinking another wave of tears out of your eyes. “I should’ve told you forever ago instead of skirting around it.”

“And what is it that you should’ve told me?” He said teasingly and you rolled your eyes. You had gotten so used to Luke being so shut down or nervous around you that you almost forgot how much of a little shit he could be.

“That I love you too.” You said, unable to stop smiling.

Luke leaned down and captured your lips in another kiss, this time threading his fingers through your hair as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. “I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that.”

You bit your lip to keep another laugh from bubbling up as you looked up at him, feeling completely overwhelmed in the best way possible. "So...what now?"

"I don't know." Luke admitted. "But I know one thing."

"What's that?"

"That no matter where we go, or what we do," He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear. "In life, in death... I'm yours. Always."

-

The End

-

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[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[nicknellie]

Anonymous requested: “tricked into 7 minutes in heaven at a party” AU with willex, where theyre close friends and apart of the same friend group, and their friends know they both like each other and are tired of watching them dance around each other so they devise a plan to have a party and play seven minutes in heaven, and get them to be alone together in a closet or room or something. so a sort of getting together/modern AU with some kissing cause the boys deserve it?

I had to Google what 7 Minutes In Heaven is. Anyway!! I love this prompt so much, it’s so so sweet. We love some getting together fluff. Thank you so much for suggesting it!

Title from Alone by Heart.

The Secret Is Still My Own

Alex could have kicked himself for not realising what this was much earlier. It was probably Luke’s idea. Maybe Julie’s – she could be sneaky when she wanted to be. It didn’t really matter who had devised the plan, all that Alex was worried about now was the fact that he was about to spend seven minutes locked in a small room with Willie and the likelihood was that it was going to be utterly dreadful.

A few months ago when Alex and Willie had first met, it wouldn’t have been so awful. Their friendship had been fresh and exciting and there had been an easy banter flowing between the two of them that made Alex feel light and giddy. He had been glad to spend time with Willie then, looking for every excuse to hang out with him because who wouldn’t? Willie was funny, kind, intelligent, and everything good in the world. Alex would have been mad to not want to spend time with him. It didn’t take long for Alex to realise he was falling for Willie, quickly and with no signs of stopping.

And he made the grave mistake of telling that to Luke.

“Dude,” Luke had said, grabbing Alex’s shoulders. “You gotta ask him out!”

“What? No!” Alex had protested. He tried to wriggle free but Luke’s grip was like iron and he gave up after a moment or two. “I don’t want to. I like being friends with him.”

“Yeah, but imagine if you were more than friends,” Luke pressed, grinning wildly. “It’s not like he’d say no – he’s head over heels for you, man.”

“He is?”

“I think so.”

“That’s not proof,” Alex deadpanned. “You also thought that if you ate watermelon seeds one would grow inside you. Then you cried when Reggie ate them.”

“That was ages ago!” Luke whined.

“It was last week, but alright.”

“Alright, fine, I’m a bad example,” Luke admitted. “But what if I told you that Julie thinks Willie likes you?”

Alex considered it for a moment. Julie was definitely more reliable than Luke, and where Luke was almost definitely guessing about whether or not Willie had feelings for Alex, Julie had probably spoken to Willie herself to find out. So he shrugged and gave Luke a short nod.

“Does she think so?” he asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

“Dude,” Luke scoffed. “She was the one to point it out to me. You and Willie are made for each other, bro! Ask him out or I’ll have to do it for you.”

Alex hadn’t asked Willie out. It hadn’t been because he didn’t want to or because he didn’t think Luke and Julie were right – it was because he simply didn’t know how. How was he supposed to go up to Willie, a literal angel, and ask him on a date without spontaneously combusting? He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, not in front of Willie.

He had thought that Luke was joking about getting Alex and Willie together himself. That had, of course, been an incredibly naïve thing to believe. When Luke said he’d do something, he meant it – Alex should have learnt that from the time Luke had said he would lick an electric fence and then followed through immediately and without hesitation. So really he shouldn’t have been surprised when Luke made it his mission to get Alex and Willie together.

The first time it had happened was when Alex and Willie were hanging out alone in the studio. They had been talking, just catching up with each other, and it had been nice. Willie had been halfway through a story about one of the kids at the nursery he worked part-time at when all of a sudden the lights in the studio had dimmed and slow, romantic music had begun drifting from the stereo in the corner.

Willie had looked utterly bemused, a quiet half-smile gracing his features. “What’s all this?”

“I don’t know,” Alex told him, standing up and flicking the lights back on, then going to the stereo and turning the music down all the way. “Sorry about that. It’s never happened before.”

“You mean you didn’t set it up?” Willie asked.

“No,” Alex replied, looking around the studio. Unsurprisingly, he had spotted Luke in the attic, hidden amongst the beanbags, the stereo’s remote in his hands. He didn’t even have the good grace to look guilty, instead giving Alex a cheery wave.

“Oh,” Willie had said. His tone made Alex turn to face him – there was something in it he couldn’t quite put a name to. “Okay. Anyway, so, as I was saying…”

Luke’s plans had not improved from then on. He had pulled the classic “invite both of them to hang out but don’t show up so they’re just spending time together one-on-one”, he had dedicated an entire setlist to Willie at their most recent gig and told the entire crowd that it had been Alex’s idea, and every time Alex and Willie had a conversation he would find a way to muscle in and very unsubtly suggest they go on a date.

It was making Alex’s life a misery.

Because now every time he saw Willie felt painstakingly awkward. The both of them were just waiting for Luke to show up and do whatever he’d planned, after which they’d be steeped in brittle, tense silence until one of them found an excuse to back out of the situation. The ease and light-heartedness their friendship had once been built on was pretty much shot to pieces. Alex knew that Luke meant well, but he was almost certain that he had ruined everything.

It didn’t help that Luke had got Julie, Reggie, and Flynn in on it too, though they were much less heavy-handed than he was when it came to getting them together. Reggie’s main tactic was ask if they’d been on a date yet every time he saw them but leave it alone once they said no, while Julie and Flynn tended to talk to Alex away from Willie and try and convince him that they were, in Flynn’s words, a match made in heaven.

“He totally wants you to ask him out,” Flynn gushed on one of these occasions. “Did you see the way he was looking at you earlier? He’s in love.”

“Things are awkward enough between us as it is,” Alex had explained. “I’m not going to make it worse by asking him out.”

“Well, maybe you don’t need to ask him on a date,” Julie suggested, ever the voice of reason. Alex inwardly thanked her – at least somebody was on his side. “But I do think you need to at least talk about what’s going on between you.”

He revoked his inward thank-you.

“We don’t need to talk,” Alex insisted. “If we just leave it alone then the problem will eventually go away.”

“That’s always your solution,” Julie said.

“And it never works,” Flynn added.

“If you just face your feelings head-on and actually try communicating with him you might get somewhere,” Julie said. Alex looked at her and knew she was telling the truth – her eyes were wide and kind, her mouth set into a gentle smile, and she looked as if she wanted nothing more than to help Alex. “You’ve been dancing around each other for so long, all you need to do is figure out where you both are. Trust me.”

He had shrugged inelegantly and let Flynn change the direction of the conversation, grateful to be talking about something else.

But he hadn’t taken Julie’s advice. Talking to Willie was difficult. Their banter was all but gone and their conversations lasted no more than a few minutes at most. It was a lot easier when they were with all their friends, in a big group where they could talk to others, which had been exactly the reason that Alex wasn’t worried about the impromptu party Julie had invited everyone to that night.

And look where it had got him.

It had been Luke who suggested it during a lull in conversation.

“Why don’t we play Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

The suggestion had been met with excited ‘ooooh’s from most of the group sat around the studio, all except Alex. The last time he’d played Seven Minutes in Heaven had been in middle school – he had been locked in a closet with a girl in his class, she had kissed him incredibly awkwardly, he had blurted “I’m too gay for this” and fallen ungracefully out of the closet with six minutes still left on the clock. While that had been years and years ago, the memory still burned with embarrassment.

“Count me out,” he said. “That game is cursed.”

“I think you’re thinking of Bloody Mary in the Mirror,” Reggie supplied. “That game is cursed. This one’s just a bit of fun.”

“Absolutely not,” Alex said, shaking his head. “You guys can play, I’m staying out of it.”

“Oh, come on, Alex,” whined Luke, “everyone has to play! Otherwise it’s no fun.”

“You might not even get picked,” Julie said helpfully.

“But also you might,” Luke added.

Alex looked around the room at his friends – Reggie was smiling encouragingly, Luke looked put-out that Alex had even thought about refusing, Julie and Flynn were looking at him with hope and excitement in their eyes that he really didn’t want to crush, and Willie… Willie was avoiding eye contact altogether.

He didn’t know what it was that did it, but finally he relented. “I’ll play.”

Luke punched the air triumphantly and began entering everyone’s names into a generator he’d brought up on his phone. Alex watched with bated breath as the little wheel spun, slowing down until it landed on a name. The screen lit up with an over-the-top fireworks animation and the name ‘WILLIE’ in garish bubble writing.

Alex didn’t look at Willie, but he did feel his own insides squirm. What if he was picked next? He wasn’t sure he could last seven minutes alone with Willie. What was he supposed to talk about? What was he supposed to do? How was he meant to act like it wasn’t the most awkward thing he’d ever done especially after everything that had happened in the past few months?

Luke set the spinner off again and Alex watched nervously as it ticked through all the names. The firework animation lit up the screen again and when it was cleared the name ‘ALEX’ was left behind, glowing in all its bubble writing glory.

He tried not to sigh in defeat and he stayed put, no matter how much he wanted to leg it from the room and never come back.

“Alright then!” Julie said, clapping her hands and beaming. “Alex and Willie! You guys feeling up for this?”

Alex didn’t have an answer, but it appeared that Willie did. He stood up and offered a hand to pull Alex to his feet too, smiling gently.

“I’m ready,” he said, though Alex didn’t miss the waver in his voice. “How about you, hotdog?”

He could feel his friends’ eyes boring into him like lasers, but kept his own eyes trained on Willie, searching his expression with no idea what he was actually searching for. Eventually though, he gave a resolute nod and said, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

“You can go into the bathroom,” Julie said, pointing towards the little room at the back of the studio. “You’ll have to lock the door yourselves.”

Alex nodded and mutely followed Willie into the bathroom. He shut and locked the door behind them, then flicked the light-switch on. Immediately, Willie flicked it back off.

“Why can’t we have the lights on?” he asked. “I can’t see you.”

“Those are the rules, hotdog,” Willie returned. His voice sounded like it was coming from the opposite side of the room, but Alex couldn’t be sure. After all, he couldn’t see anything.

He could feel his heart hammering in his chest and sweat starting to bead on his forehead as he slid himself down the wall to sit on the floor. He had no reason to feel so nervous right then; he’d been alone with Willie a thousand times, this didn’t have to be any different just because it was in a small dark room and they had a time limit ticking over their heads. Admittedly, he hadn’t been alone with Willie all that often recently, but he shouldn’t have been too out of practise.

“So,” he ventured, rubbing his hands along his legs, hoping the repetitive movements would dull his nerves. “What do you want to talk about?”

Willie was silent for a moment and Alex was sure that he’d somehow already put a foot wrong. Briefly, he considered unlocking the door and trying to leave very quietly so that Willie wouldn’t notice, but he realised quickly that plan wouldn’t work because he would never get past his friends in the studio. All he could do was stick it out for six and a half more minutes.

But mercifully, Willie finally spoke.

“Things have been weird recently, huh, hotdog?”

It teased a laugh from Alex, if only a small one. Because yes. Yes, things had been incredibly weird and he hated it.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “it’s been weird. I’m sorry about Luke and the others.”

“You don’t need to apologise,” Willie said. Alex could hear the smile in his voice and found himself relaxing. “It doesn’t really bother me. But… I mean, it seemed like it was bothering you. I’ve been trying to give you a little space but I don’t know if that’s what you want.”

“No,” Alex said, far too quickly. He tried to rein himself in a little, not wanting things to descend back into that dangerous awkward territory. “No, I don’t want you to give me space. I really like hanging out with you, Willie. I don’t want to stop that. I just wish they’d stop teasing.”

There was another pause, smaller this time, barely perceptible.

“Why?” Willie asked quietly.

“Because,” Alex began, but he quickly found himself lost for words.

How was he supposed to explain it to Willie when he found it hard to explain it to himself? He didn’t like their teasing because he was scared. He didn’t like their teasing because he didn’t want to make Willie uncomfortable. He didn’t like their teasing because this thing, whatever it was, between him and Willie was theirs and only theirs and he wanted to keep it between that way. Because he wanted to make these decisions on his terms, not when his friends decided he should.

“Because?” Willie prompted.

Alex swallowed his pride and his nerves and made himself speak.

“Because I really like you, Willie. And when our friends try and find ways to get us together it just feels awful because I want to do it myself. I don’t want them to intervene or mess this up. I want to do it my way. They keep saying that you like me too – is that true?”

Silence again. Alex could hardly stand it.

“Yeah,” Willie said finally. With that single word Alex felt like he could breathe more easily than ever before. “I do. Like you, I mean. And I get it. I’m sorry this whole thing has been such a mess.”

Alex huffed a laugh. “Blame Luke.”

“Oh, I will,” Willie replied through a chuckle.

Alex heard him shuffle across the bathroom floor and felt their sides press together as Willie came to sit next to him. Without thinking he laid his head down on Willie’s shoulder, then felt Willie rest his head on his in return.

“So,” Alex said again. “What does this mean for us?”

“What do you want it to mean?” Willie asked teasingly, the smile on his face evident in his voice.

“Are we dating?” he asked. He could feel his own smile tugging at his lips as Willie slipped an arm around his shoulders.

He felt Willie press a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “Yes, Alex. We’re dating.”

Maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the dark room, maybe it was the rush of adrenaline he got from hearing Willie day the words “we’re dating”, but something gave him a warm and welcome rush of courage and he said, before he could think better of it, “Can I kiss you?”

“Well,” Willie said, “I think that’s what usually happens in this game.”

“I don’t want to kiss you because of the game,” Alex told him. He knew Willie was probably joking, but he wanted to be certain. He wanted to make it clear that none of this was because of the game (mainly because Luke had probably rigged it somehow and Alex still wanted to do this his own way). He needed to show that this was for Willie and for himself, nothing else.

“I know,” Willie said gently. “I don’t either. I just want to kiss you.”

Alex slid a hand up to cup Willie’s jaw and they slowly came together. Willie’s lips were softer than Alex thought should be allowed, the kiss gentle and slow. It felt perfect, like fireworks had been lit in Alex’s soul (though much better fireworks than the terrible animation on Luke’s random selector wheel). He felt Willie’s fingers knot through his hair and pull them closer together.

It hadn’t gone the way Alex would have really liked. He didn’t get to ask Willie out on his terms. But from now on, with Willie as his boyfriend, they could do everything else on their terms. They could go at their own speed, hand-in-hand, with no ticking time limit set by their friends. They could move at their own pace with nobody but each other.

And Alex could breathe easy.

*

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just let me know): @ace-bookworm @williexmercer @willex-owns-my-heart @itstiger720 @the-reckless-and-the-brave @that-one-newsie @bluedarkness @lookingthroughmirrors @teammightypen @salty-star @julieandthequeers @lmaohuh @sunnysbright 

[atlfics]

It All Comes Flooding Back- All Time Low Fanfiction

Seeing a video from middle school brings Alex back to a place he thought he'd never return to. Word Count: 2477

TW: angst, body dysphoria

More notes at the end. 

“Jack, come on, it’s about time to go onstage,” Alex said, poking his head into the green room where Jack was sitting.

“Hang on, give me a minute,” Jack replied, hysterically laughing at something on his phone.

“Dude, we have to get over to the stage, they’re going to start the song that plays right before we walk out in a minute,”

“No, check this out first, man. If it makes us late, it’ll be worth it, I promise,”

Rolling his eyes, Alex walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Jack.

“Okay, what’s so important that we might miss our cue?”

“Look at this. Remember back when we were in eighth grade, we’d have sleepovers and stay up super late and make music videos to blink songs? My mom just sent me one of them because she was cleaning out her files, and one happened to be on her computer. This is so funny, I can’t believe we spent so much time on these,” Jack explained, shoving his phone in Alex’s face.

On the screen, Jack and Alex were dancing and pretending to play guitar to blink’s ‘First Date’. As much as Alex wanted to watch the full video and reminisce, they had a job they had to do.

“Send that to me, I’ll watch it after the show. We have to go do what we did in that video for real in seconds,”

“Man, you’re no fun. I just texted it to you, so I guess we can go now,” Jack said, shoving his phone into his pocket as he stood up.

“Good, Rian and Zack are going to start worrying if we’re not over there. Also, you’re coming with Zack, Rian, the crew and me after the show, right? We’re going barhopping, I think,” Alex said, as they started walking towards the stage.

“Dude, when have I ever skipped out on barhopping? Of course I’m coming!”

“Fair point, but I just wanted to be sure. Oh shit, look, Rian looks pissed that we took so long,”

Alex and Jack couldn’t help but laugh as they walked to Rian and Zack, due to the angry look on Rian’s face.

“You guys were almost late,” Rian sternly stated.

“Sorry, dude, I was just showing Alex-“ Jack started.

“It doesn’t matter right now, we go on in thirty seconds, grab your guitars,” Rian continued.

Jack and Alex exchanged a look and couldn’t help but laugh more as they took their guitars from their techs and adjusted the straps to their liking. As Rian said, they got their cue to go on thirty seconds later, so they all walked onstage to a cheering crowd and immediately started into their first song.

Overall, the show was great, they were about halfway through the tour they were on, so they all felt confident in the setlist and being onstage and had a good groove going. While they played, Alex couldn’t help but think about the video that Jack had shown him back in the green room; he’d really wanted to sit with Jack and watch the full thing before going onstage, but he knew that if they were late that Rian would likely have a heart attack.

He had fond memories of making those music videos with Jack; it was still early on in their friendship, and they were both obsessed with blink. Shortly before deciding to form a band and actually learn how to play instruments and perform, they would play air guitar and pretend they were onstage while the track played in the background. Alex decided that he would watch the video before going out with his friends, he had to go on the bus to grab a different jacket, and since it would be quiet due to everyone else still being in the venue, he would watch it there, before going back into the venue to find his friends.

Once the show was over, the four of them made their way offstage, quickly handing off their interments.

“That was a really good show! Maybe even the best of the tour so far!” Zack beamed, a huge smile on his face.

“Yeah, that crowd was insane! They made that show so much fun,” Jack added.

“I’m glad we decided to go out tonight, the way that show went definitely calls for celebrating!” Alex continued.

“You’re right, I hope some of the fans go out, too, I want to party with them!” Rian said back.

“I do, too! Hey, I’m going to run on the bus to grab my leather jacket, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Alex said, remembering what he’d decided to do while they were onstage.

“Sounds good, we won’t leave until you get back,” Jack said in reply.

“Cool, I’ll try to keep it short,”

Alex walked to the back of the venue, then walked out the door to see a couple fans sitting on the curb. After a quick picture and autograph, Alex made his way onto the bus. He grabbed his jacket from his bunk, then took a seat in the front lounge as he pulled out his phone, excited to finally get to watch the video. After clicking the link from Jack, the video started to play.

At first, Alex laughed, the two of them did look ridiculous lip syncing and playing air guitar, especially now, since what they were doing turned out to be their real careers. As Alex continued watching, he realized that he looked a lot less enthusiastic compared to Jack, and initially was confused as to why; they both loved blink, and were both obsessed with the specific song at the time, why did Jack look so much more into it? Eventually, Alex started to piece together memories about how he felt about himself around the time the video was recorded.

In eighth grade, Alex was extremely insecure in every way possible. He was dealing with a fading friendship, one that he’d hoped would last forever, he was being told he was stupid by other people who were supposed to be his friends, and he dealt with a lot of self-hatred, specifically about his appearance. In the video, he was wearing baggy clothing, and looked really stiff next to Jack, who was giving their fake performance his all.

Seeing this made Alex start to feel bad for his younger self; he was fourteen, and was experiencing all these negative emotions, things that kids that young shouldn’t have to feel. His empathy eventually turned into a spiral, he turned his phone off, and put his head into his hands, starting to feel the same emotions he’d felt ten years ago.

As these thoughts rattled in his head, he didn’t hear the bus door open and was only pulled from this trance-like state when he felt something weigh down the couch he was sitting on. He looked up to see Jack sitting next to him, and figured his face was conveying how he felt, because Jack looked concerned.

“Hey, what’re you doing, Alex? Are you okay?” Jack asked, his tone of voice the most serious Alex had heard it be in a long time.

“Um, yeah, why? Why do you ask?” Alex stuttered out, desperately trying to recollect himself.

“Well, you’ve been here for, like, fifteen minutes now and you look like you just shit a brick. What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, my face just, um, it just looks like this sometimes,”

“Yeah, it looks like this when you’re stressing out over something or feeling really anxious. Seriously, what’s going on?”

“No, it’s not a big deal. Come on, we should go so we can barhop with the others,”

Alex tried to stand up and shove his phone into his pocket, but Jack grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him back down onto the couch.

“Jack, what the fuck are you doing? We have to get going,” Alex pointed out, his frustrated tone masking the anxiety he was starting to feel.

“We can get going in a little bit, I told Rian and the others that we’d just meet them at the first bar they choose to go to. Alex, seriously, what’s going on? Like, you look like you just had an anxiety attack or something. This is probably the last thing you’re expecting to hear from me, but I don’t think adding alcohol to this is a good idea, you need to talk about whatever’s going on in your head first,” Jack explained, trying to look Alex in the eyes.

“It’s really fucking stupid, like, I just overreacted to something,”

“I’m sure it’s not as stupid as you’re saying it is. Look, I can’t force you to tell me anything, and I can’t tell you what to do, but if we just pretend that this didn’t happen, I won’t be able to enjoy my night out, because I’ll be concerned about you. Come on, just talk to me, then we can have a fun night with our friends,”

“Okay, fine. So, I was watching the video, like, the music video we made in eighth grade, and it made me overthink some. Like, I just remembered how I felt when we made that, like, about myself and life, and I guess I’d forgotten how bad shit was back then,” Alex explained, his face heating from the embarrassment he was starting to feel.

“Alex, I didn’t mean to trigger you by sending the video, I-“

“No, it’s not your fault, Jack. Like, it’s a funny video, it made me laugh, but I noticed how stiff and uncomfortable I looked next to you, and I remembered why I felt that way,”

“I know you were dealing with some pretty shitty friends back then. Well, aside from me,”

“Yeah, like, my best friend before you and I were quickly drifting apart, and that hurt. Then, I had a casual group of friends in some of my classes who called me stupid as a joke, but I believed it. I don’t know, just knowing that fourteen year old me was dealing with that feels heavy, I think? Like, why the fuck did I have to deal with that?”

“I don’t know, I wish I had an answer for you, Alex,”

“Also, I fucking hated myself, dude. Like, being told I was stupid and losing my best friend was terrible, and on top of that, I had no self-confidence. Like, the shit I’m wearing in that video is so baggy, because I thought I was really fat. Like, I wasn’t the skinniest eighth grader, but it’s so fucked up that I thought that way about myself,”

“Alex, seriously, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you by showing you the video,” Jack said, putting a supportive hand on Alex’s back.

“It’s not your fault, man. I didn’t think this would happen, I thought I’d just watch the video like a normal person. It’s so weird, like I guess was empathizing with my younger self, and I empathized a little too hard, because I started feeling those emotions, but as an adult who’s almost a decade removed from the situation,”

“I mean, that kind of makes sense. You were dealing with a lot around the time that video was filmed, I don’t blame you for experiencing some of those emotions from watching it,”

“I think the reason it bothers me so much is because I thought I was over it all. Like, I have you as my best friend, an amazing group of friends within the band and crew, and while confidence isn’t, like, some linear progression I’ve figured out, I feel a lot better about myself now than I did then. Like, if I’m really so much better now, why did it bother me so much?”

“Well, I think part of it definitely has to do with the fact that you were really young when all of this was going on. Like, just knowing you were so young and were dealing with all these intense feelings and emotions was probably hard, and you likely feel kind of bad for young-you, because of where old-you is now. Well, not old, but older,”

“Maybe, I guess that’s kind of what I was thinking. It was just so weird to see that video, like I was transported right back to that place, like where I was at with things back then, and it was weird. Like, uncomfortably weird,”

“That’s understandable, you were dealing with a lot. I think a good way to look at it is to know that those feelings, while they were shitty, are in your past, and you’re doing so much better now. Like, acknowledge how much you’ve grown from that place, y’know?”

“That’s a good way to look at it, Jack. I feel a bit better now, talking through it helped,” Alex said, a small smile starting to tug at his lips.

“Good, I’m glad. As your best friend, I can tell you’re doing so much better now, and I got to see that growth in you in real time. I hate when people say that trauma makes you stronger, I think it’s a bit invalidating, but I think at the very least, you’ve learned from those experiences, and that they helped you in becoming who you are today. You’re a great musician, friend, and person, Alex. Fuck the people who told you otherwise back then,”

“Thanks, Jack. It is kind of cool to see how far I’ve come, I guess,”

“You’ve become such a great person, dude. Maybe dealing with that shit in the past helped you in a good way to get where you are today, but either way, I think looking back and seeing how far you’ve come is a good thing,”

“You’re right, I definitely didn’t think I’d be where I am now when we made that video,”

“I didn’t either, I would’ve done a better job at air guitar if I did,” Jack joked, making them both laugh.

“I think I’m ready to go out now, thank you again, dude,”

“No problem, I’m always here to hype you up when you need it!”

“The same goes to you, man. We should go, we’re going to have to catch up to everyone else when we get there!” Alex exclaimed, as they both stood up.

“Shit, you’re right. It’s not been that long, so hopefully they’re not in too deep yet. Everyone there can throw them back, though, so we’d better hurry!”

The two of them quickly made their way off the bus, and in the direction of the first bar of the evening. As they walked, Alex couldn’t help but feel like a weight had been lifted off of his chest, it could be hard to remember how he felt at his lowest, but being able to recognize his growth made it worth it.  

A/N: Hi guys, I meant to post this yesterday but time got away from me! So, I've officially started my first week of grad school, I definitely have a lot more work than I did in undergrad, but I'm fairly confident that, for now, I can continue posting both one shots and my chartered fic fairly regularly! With that, feel free to send in requests if you have them, and feedback/suggestions on my chaptered fic is always awesome! -Liv

[jayflrt]

omg this is such a late reply but yea my grad photos turned out pretty nice! my parents even bought me a flower bouquet with some really nice flowers hehe

i listened to arson! i think i like his daydream mixtape more over the arson album but i love the sound he's using this time! i think my fav bside is equal sign omgomg its so good. im excited for their other solo projs too! and also omg hoseok in lollapalooza was so cool! that clip of his reaction to the audience singing back during daydream is circulating my feed and its just such a cute clip. ALSO TXT IN LOLLAPALOOZA <3333

enha arent coming to my city but if they were i would've considered going! im alr going to a couple so idk if i could afford going to see enha too but my friend is gonna travel out of the city to see them so i told her to cheer double for me haha

yass omg i loved the cheers mv svt leaders are so <3333 it was a fun mv to watch too and pongpong part is actually taking over the kpop community and i love it. also im going to see svt live soon so 😭

the plan was originally to go to some nearby islands but then we checked the prices and it was so expensive 💀 so my parents decided to just go on their own when i resume school again in sept lmao. but also i got quite a lot of uni prep to do so we also decided to do the family trip another time

the potteries are pre-made! we just did the painting portion it was so fun. i painted some frogs on mine they looked super cute after im so happy with it. my friends and i discussed that we should take classes to actually make pottery some day and i can make a cute little bowl or wtv is the most beginner item lol

my birthday is at the end of august! so like in abt a little over 2 weeks from when i send this haha omg im gonna become an adult this is so sad im old </3

also im keeping up with diamond league and omg the chaos. when i saw ynwon broke up i was like <////3 but seeing how downbad won is still for yn i have hope haha

ANYWAYS HOW HAVE YOU BEEEEEEEN omg did you also hear abt tbz + 127 cb soon? and jaehyun solo!!! and bp girlies are finally coming back after 2 years 😭 im probably missing some other upcoming cbs but july was so packed with them im kinda in a daze rn lol

-🌻

no worries 🌻 anon !! it’s always good to hear from you 🥰💗 also that’s so sweet of them :’) flowers on graduation is so touching like i don’t even like flowers but i was so happy when my parents got me some when i graduated 🤧

omg yes daydream was a cultural reset !! i still loveeee the hope world mixtape like baseline ?? hangsang ???? BLUE SIDE the whole artistry of that album was 💖💖 i do like that hobi switched up his vibe for this album it suits him rlly well !!! he’s so versatile 🫶🫶 omg equal side was my fav bside too :’)) and right ?? he’s such an amazing performer and rlly knows how to get a crowd excited !! when he said “u guys are fucking crazy” ahahahah😄 i rlly wanna see him perform one day omg 😭 TXT DID SO GOOD TOO i’m glad the crowd hyped them up so much

i don’t think i’m going either but we can fall back on tiktok and twitter to see what people upload 🥰 i’m so impressed they’re selling out HUGE arenas for their first ever world tour :o so so proud of them!!! 💘

HAHAH RIGHT hoshi literally blew them up over that (as he should!!) but i’m so sad they didn’t add it to the setlist for the tour :(( i thought they would since they added _world but ig not 🤧 but i still had an amazing time and loveddd everything about it and they’re just incredible performers 💝💝

omg your parents are vacationing without you ?? 😭 no way.. now it’s time to make your own extravagant plans without them just to spite them 🤭 but i feel you omg it’s hard to enjoy a vacation when there’s so much going on 🥲🥲 hope you get to go on your family vacation soon tho !!

FROGGY POT that’s so cute :’)) i’m glad you enjoyed it and hope you can paint some more sometime !! start an etsy business 🤩 omg your bday must be next week then right?? :o idk what day but i’ll try to wish you sometime next week then !! oh gosh welcome to adulthood it’s scary out here 😵‍💫 but yk you’re on the same boat as everyone else so we’re all suffering together

AHAHAH dw i can’t make a sad ending for this 🥲🥲 jungwon is way too down bad but .. y/n is too 😔 AHHH YES I HEARD OF BOTH COMEBACKS IM EXCITED !!!! jaehyuns solo teaser pictures dropped today omg have u seen them ?? he looks incredible 😭💖 i’ve honestly lowkey been experiencing svt tunnel vision but i think 127 comeback will have All my attention

[melancholymetropolis]

Enemy

Prompt: Reader is secretly in love with Randall and gets heartbroken when she catches him kissing another girl. She sings a sad song about it.

A/N: This fic is combining both my love of Glee and The Order. 

Warnings:  A LOT OF ANGST, implied smut and curse words, sudden POV change (Unedited)

Words: 3300+

---------------

The ear-bleeding music seemed to slowly die down as the pounding of my heart replaced its significant impact. My brain was trying to differentiate what my eyes were capturing and what I was feeling. Although, I seemed to be doing a terrible job. 

Randall Carpio was lip-locked with some girl I had never seen before that day. He was. . . I didn't know what he was at that moment. I didn't consider him a boyfriend since we never had the appropriate conversation about it. Yet, he was more than a friend, since we had kissed a couple of times. Granted, the goal was to divert needy girls from sitting in his face. But, my heart was the warmest when we shared such intimate moments. How our tongues tangled long after the intended audience had left and we were always one minute away from racing to a secluded area. Desperately wanting to release the sexual tension that had been within us since we had met last semester. 

I guess I was the only one to feel those things. 

I released the breath that I had been holding and turned my back to the scene. I placed the red solo cups on the porch of the rundown home and walked away from the bustling party. I tried my best to conceal the tears welling up in my eyes and the tightness in my throat. I held myself together all the way until I  reached my apartment. 

The shock on my roommate's face was unexplainable as I crumbled into her arms and soiled her satin shirt with my teary mascara. 

I saw his face the very next day, at the student center. He was signing some form, probably for a missing key. Since Randall was a RA, he had to fill out at least 6 of those forms every Saturday morning. Looking out for freshmen was a tough job, but he did it with no complaints. I walked past him and cranked up the volume of my phone. I could feel his eyes on me, but I chose to ignore it. If he hadn’t been signing those forms, I knew he would’ve followed me. Or chased me down.

I walked to the makeshift computer station and tapped my ID on the printer's mount. The device made a loud 'beep' before spitting out several sheets of paper. I gathered the warm items into a pile and stapled them together. Instead of walking out the way I came in, I decided to go deeper into the building and take the back exit. It happened to be further away from the library, where my study group was waiting. But an extra minute of walking wouldn't hurt as much as facing him again.

I proceed to avoid Randall for the upcoming weeks. I dove myself into my studies, spending all my extra time getting ahead on classwork. And, when I got bored with that, I upped my crocheting skills. The temperature was rumored to drop to a cool fifty degrees next week and I didn't have a scarf. Less than seventy-two hours later, I had finished my scarf and began working on my hat. 

Janet, my roommate, had gotten worried that I turned into a grandma. So, she bribed me into leaving the apartment. 

"Come with me to this club meeting and I'll buy you dinner," she said as she plopped onto my bed.

I stopped in mid-row and looked over at her. "You're only doing this because you don't want to go alone."

"Maybe," she huffed. "But, we'd both be happy when the night is over. You'll get your precious tacos and I'll join a new club."

I rolled my eyes. I finished my row and set my unfinished project on my desk. "Let's go before I change my mind."

The air in the auditorium was alive and thriving. It wrapped around my body like a chilled hug and I never felt so calm. I took my time walking down the aisle to the main stage, absorbing the positive energy all around me. The spotlight was aimed towards the middle of the stage, where the group was huddled. Instruments lie, abandoned, near the back of the stage. Along with mic stands and sheets of music on the floor. One group member picks up a sheet of paper from the edge of the stage and locks eyes with me. He stands up straight and looks up at me. 

“I know you!” He shouts toward me.

I looked behind me and saw that there was no one there. “Me? Where do you know me from?”

“We partied together a couple of times,” he said I walked up the side steps of the stage. He paused a second to process the memories and wait for me to close the distance between us. A blush flashed against his face and scratched the side of his neck. “I tried to hit on you a few times, but you were always with that Randall guy.”

Hearing his name still made my heart stop. I tried to push my emotions back into their cave as I mustered the courage to speak again. “I—” My voice cracked with just one letter so I just bit my lip and shrugged. 

The familiar stranger seemed to have understood my silence and just carried on the conversation. “Well, I’m glad you could make it! We are kind of desperate for new members.”

I cleared my throat and looked down at the ground. “What’s this club about?”

“We’re like a glee club of sorts. We sing songs that describe the overall feel of the weeks prior,” he replied in an assertive tone. “Interestingly, we have been singing a lot of breakup songs lately. We actually reconsidered to rename the club ‘The Lonely Hearts Club’.”

I looked over at Janet and she gave me a sheepish grin. 

Before I could even call out to her, a new voice emerged from within the other bustling ones. 

“Okay, everyone! I am excited to announce that we have new members!” The voice cheered with pure joy, which radiated throughout the room. The owner of the voice, a young woman, walked over to me and smiled. “It’s a tradition for the new recruits to ‘audition’ to become official club members. You can either sing a duet—” she looked over at Janet. “Or a solo”, then back at me. “Whichever you feel is comfortable.”

“I think a duet—” I tried to say before being cut off.

“We’re gonna do solos,” Janet interjected. I threw her a harsh look, which she had completely ignored and continued on with her statement. “I have been wanting to play my version of ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears for the longest time.”

“Great! We’ll get the stage set up, and you’ll be ready to go, yes?” The leader said with a hasty head nod. She looked back at me. “While she’s performing, try to figure out if you’ll be singing acapella or acoustic. We have tons of songs from our prior setlists if you want the band to back you.”

 The familiar stranger placed a binder into my hands and I almost doubled over by the sheer heft of the object. I departed from the stage and sat in the front row. I flipped through the pages, I saw various pop anthems and R&B baby-makers in the front collection. The further I went into the binder, the more breakup songs I encountered. The majority of them are Beyonce and Taylor Swift. A few from H.E.R and Bryson Tiller. I knew a few songs in their possession but none of them really hit home. Until I reached the last page. 

Jhene Aiko’s Triggered.

I had that song on repeat the very first week I started to avoid. . . him. Maybe it was an exaggeration of my feelings but it sure felt right. It captured the anger, the pain, and the longing so perfectly. Plus it wasn’t too much singing. I knew I wasn’t a Whitney Houston, but I could hold a note and remain in key. 

I looked closer at the lyrics and sheet music behind me. A voice inside of me wanted to do this without a band. I needed to do this alone. I had to rid myself of the feelings that kept gnawing on my insides, begging to escape. 

Janet killed it, per usual. She captivated her audience with her somber tone and gentle approach. A roar of applause flooded the auditorium. Almost making it hard to top that. I handed the binder back to the familiar stranger, Justin, and climbed on the stage. I looked down at all of the glee folk and gave a sheepish smile. 

“I will be singing Triggered by Jhene Aiko,” I said, mustering up all the confidence in my being. 

“Will you be using the band?” the club leader, Marie, asked.

“No, I would like to sing it acapella,” I replied with a shake of my head. “It’s something I need to get off of my chest.”

“Ooh! I am excited! Go for it!” She cheered before taking a seat in the audience.

I turned my back to the group and took a deep breath. I decided to leave the microphone on the stand just to allow the hollowed-out space project my voice for me. I took a step and just opened my mouth. 

“Go figure, you were the trigger,” I sang with the side of my being facing the crowd. “You brought me an obstructed view when you knew the picture was bigger”.

The chitter-chatter among the group dropped and all eyes were on me. 

I took another breath and carried on. “Who am I kidding, I knew from the beginning,” I paused. An image of Randall flashed in my mind and I could feel the emotions bubble up. I clenched my fists and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I just—.”  

“Unleash it,” Marie yelled from the crowd. “The pain you’ve been holding. You don’t need to pretend anymore. This is a safe space.”

The crowd yelled reassuring testaments from below and it made me chuckle.

“So, cry if you need to! We saw it all,” Justin added in. “And we all have felt exactly what you are feeling at this moment.”

The exchange made me feel comfortable and highlighted that we were all humans at the end of the day. No matter how hard we judge, we all will be or have been in a position that makes us feel so small. So insignificant. It was only human for us to feel.

I nodded. “I’m going to start again.”

I closed my eyes and allowed the words to spill from my lips. 

Go figure, you were the trigger.

You brought me to 

An obstructed view

When you knew the picture was bigger

I opened my eyes and gave a humorless laugh.

Who am I kidding?

Knew from the beginning.

I saw him kissing her; as if I were experiencing it all over again and all I could feel was anger.

You’d ruin everything

You do it every time.

You are my enemy,

You are no friend of mine.

Muhfucker...

I paused and ran my hands through my hair. I clasped my hand together to make a loud clap before pointing to an empty space on the stage. As if he was there with me.

You muhfucking right

You muhfucking right I’m triggered

You muhfucking right I’m bitter

You muhfucking right I...

I stopped in midpoint and gave a weak smile.

Wanna fuck you right now

The crowd “oohed” in the audience from the statement and gave me a few claps.

He heard her voice before he even entered the building. While jogging across the quad that night. It had been weeks since they had last spoken and he wished he knew the reason behind it. Every time he called, it went straight to voicemail. His texts never went through, and when they did, they were left with some written automated message. Randall had debated whether to stop by her dorm and question her about the sudden disappearance, but he respected her space. But, hearing her voice for the first time in a long time had done things to him. It made him reminisce about the old times they had back at the packhouse with the other wolves. The times where they’d sleep in his bed after a night of partying; limbs drunkenly tangled together and his head on her chest. Randall loved laying his head on her breasts. They were always so soft and inviting and smelled of flowers. 

Like a sailor lost at sea, he followed the sweet melodies of Y/N’s eerily beautiful voice. The young man made his way to the auditorium before he had a chance to turn back. And he was thankful he hadn’t. She was like a siren in a pool of auburn water. The spotlight made it seem as though she was glowing. Highlighting the parts of her he found most gorgeous. Randall had taken so much time just staring at her that he shocked at the amount of sadness the lyrics offered. 

Tryna let the time go by

Tryna let the time heal all

Tryna let the time kill all

Of our memories

All you meant to me

All that history

All that's history

I'll calm down eventually

Why was she singing such a sad song? Who was this song dedicated to? He pondered the possibilities of anyone that could perhaps make her feel this heartbroken. Was Y/N going through a break-up? Who’s ass did he need to beat?

I'm triggered when I see your face

Triggered, when I hear your name

Triggered, I am not okay (yeah)

You need to stay out of my way

Suddenly the singing stopped and a sole tear rolled down her face. Y/N wiped it away and mumbled the last lyric about three more times before the audience rose from their seats and clapped. Multiple peopled raced to the stage and gave her a warm embrace and Randall watched as the tears continue to flood her face. 

“I should kick Randall’s ass for making you feel that way,” a familiar voice—  Janet—  said in the depth of the group. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

“I have no idea who he is, but fuck him!” A different voice chimed in. “Men are trash—”  

The men in the group made an unsatisfactory sound. 

“Current company excluded.”

Y/N smiled and whipped her tears. “Randall’s not trash, he just...” She paused for a moment to think. “Isn’t what I thought he was.”

“And what would that be?” Randall shouted from the doorway of the auditorium.

All the heads in the room snapped in his direction and he could hear Y/N’s heart stop for just a millisecond. As he walked down the aisle, Randall’s ears grew accustomed to her increasing heartbeat. He memorized the sound after all the nights he spent with his head against her breasts, but he hadn’t heard it beat that fast. Ever. It scared him. 

Upon walking to the stage, Randall watched as the group parted—  like the red sea—  Y/N. His favorite girl. No longer the fierce siren he saw while she was performing. Her mascara smudged underneath her eyes and her lip gloss dripped to her chin. But, it hadn’t mattered to Randall. She could walk through a hurricane and he’d still see the beauty within her. 

“Why are you here?” She asked as she walked down the stairs.

“You’re such a good performer! I was completely captivated by your stage presence—” Randall found himself spilling before realizing it. 

“Can you just not. . . be yourself for one minute and be serious?” Y/N said in a frustrated tone.

It was true. She was mad at him. 

“I must’ve really fucked up if you can’t take my silliness,” he mumbled to himself. Suddenly a little self-conscious, Randall looked at the group of people that had obviously been eavesdropping on the situation. He looked back at his girl and gripped her hand. “Can we talk in somewhere private, please?”

Y/N sighed and gave him a nod. 

Randall pulled her out of the auditorium and into the vacant corridor. 

“Look, I—” He cut her off with an embrace. Hands around her waist and nose in her hair. She smelled like cinnamon and sugar. But, it wasn’t the artificial kind that came in a spray bottle, no. It was the smell of freshly baked buns and the wafty aroma that scattered across the roll while they cooled. “Randall, what are you—”

“Just tell me what I did, so I could never do it again,” he squeezed her body closer to his and pressed a cheek to her head.  “Being away from you for that long is something I refuse to do again. I tried my best to give you your space but it pained me. . . Tell me what to do.”

Y/N’s heartbeat slowed to its normal pace as she released a shaky breath. “I saw you kiss some girl at the party.”

His body tensed. She saw him kissing Ashley? The girl was just some drunken sorority chick that stumbled across the party. Randall had won a game of beer pong and she followed him outside to give him a ‘reward’. He hated the kiss if he could even call it that. It felt like Randall was desperately trying not to choke on her tongue. He shivered at the war flashback.

“This may sound lame, but she really did kiss me,” Randall replied. “I didn’t want to come across as rude, so I just let it happen. I wish I hadn’t though. She was such a bad kisser. Like oh my god, so bad. I drool all over my shirt and everything”

She giggled. “That’s disgusting.”

“It was worse than you think,” Randall grimaced before pulling away to face Y/N. “I am sorry that I hurt you so bad that I forced you into isolation. I would never hurt you on purpose, you know that, right?”

She looked up at him with wide eyes. “I know that now.”

Randall placed a hand on her cheek and gave her a longing look. “Do you, also, know how much I love you, Y/N?”

“. . . What?”

Randall pressed his lips against hers for a steamy kiss. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck quickly as she stood on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss. He dropped his hand from her face and gathered her legs in his hands. He lifted her up with ease and pressed her against the wall. She groaned against his lips and arched her back, further pressing their bodies together. Y/N braided her fingers in his hair and tighten her legs around his waist. The pent up frustration from the overall situation had quickly become sexual and they were seconds from ripping each other’s clothes off.

The sound of a door closing brought her back to reality and Y/N pulled away from his lips. Just for him to attack her neck.

“Randall, we have to stop now,” she struggled to stop the moans from slipping from her lips. Y/N craned her neck to the side and tugged on the rooks of his hair. She jerked his head away from her neck and narrowed her eyes. “I mean it, Randall.”

“You’re no fun,” he pouted.

“I am not trying to have our first time in a hallway, Randall,” she hissed.

“But, it would be so risque,” he pouted even more. “The thrill is getting caught is so intoxicating.”

“But getting expelled isn’t,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Can you put me down now?”

“So you are just gonna leave me all hot and bothered?” Randall said in blatant shock. 

“I was going to suggest your dorm room, but since you suggested leaving—! Ah!”

Randall slung Y/N over his shoulder and jogged through the hall. “I take it back! Come on, we don’t have any time to waste!”

[nicole-lynne]

All The Love Songs - Chapter 2

Summary: Thea has a few strange interactions with Jake and she goes to the Greta Van Fleet concert. 

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x OFC (eventually) and Thea x Mason (OMC) 

Notes: I changed Thea’s nickname to Teddy so there is one change!  I hope you guys all love the story! Please like, comment, reblog, and follow ^_^ 

If there was a higher power in the world, they would strike her down with a very contagious flu that would require her to stay in bed for an undetermined amount of time. They would cause a blackout, an alien invasion, or a zombie outbreak. Any possible thing that would make it impossible for her to go to this show. 

Instead, Thea was trying on her twelfth outfit of the night, which was actually the first outfit she’d tried on. Her favorite black leather skirt paired with a maroon shirt with an embroidered rose on it for the band, adding her thigh high boots to the outfit for good measure. With her dark hair curled loosely down her back and her smokey makeup, the look was absolutely killer. 

So why did she feel completely self-conscious and nervous? During the most difficult time of her life, New York had become her safe haven. Her friends had become a harbor in a dark night. That feeling had been washed away with a single ten minute conversation with her ex boyfriend and the fear of having him step into her new world. 

There was a quick rap at the door and Sam popped his head in. He had his black leather pants on with a bright teal button up hanging open revealing his muscular chest. 

“Hey squirt, I was thinking it was almost time to head out.” Looking you up and down, his eyes bugged out of his sockets. “Wow, you look stunning.” 

“Thanks, Sammy.” She looked down sheepishly. “Very classic look for a rockin’ show. It’s going to be a great night.” 

“I hope so. Josh said he thinks an agent might come so it would be great if something could come from that. I really want this to work...” 

Thea sank down onto her bed and pulled her feet under her, motioning for Sam to follow. It wasn’t very often that she had to give Sam a pep talk. Most days, he was a high-energy, optimistic person who could make her feel like nothing else in the world mattered. 

Today, she could see the doubt behind his brown eyes. 

“You’ve got amazing things in your future, Sammy. That agent would be an idiot if he passed you guys because Greta Van Fleet is the hot ticket. And just know that I’ll be there cheering you on every minute.” 

He patted her knee and shot her a thankful look, “I’m glad I’ve got you, squirt. Our shows wouldn’t be the same without your face in the front row.” 

Since the first show, Thea had always been front and center, cheering the loudest or being the only person in the crowd dancing. At first, people made fun of the spastic girl, but once Greta became a regular, more people started to see their potential. Pretty soon, the whole place was packed for their shows. But Sam still saved her a spot right at the front of the stage. 

“I would never miss a show, at least until you get rockstar famous and are playing like five shows a week. You might have to give me a break then.” 

“Nope, you have to be there. You’re my good luck charm.” 

“Sam!” Gina screeched from the kitchen. “Danny just called, we’re gonna be late!” 

Sam hissed through his teeth. “Oops, okay we better get down there before Danny shits a brick. That’s when you know it’s bad. You coming, tiny?” 

“I’m not sure if Gina is ready or not, can you wait for us?” 

“Sam!” 

“Uh, can you catch up to us? You know how particular Danny is about his pre-show meal.” Thea gave him an understanding smile and Sam jumped forward, kissing the top of her head before bounding out of the room like a golden retriever. The front door slammed and then it was dead quiet in the apartment. 

Gina appeared at the door, a dark purple tank top contrasting with her brown skin. In the darkness, she looked like a sunset on a winter day.

“Babe, you look fabulous! I love that purple color on you.” Thea gushed. “How did I manage to get such a snack for a bestie?” 

“Pure luck, I would guess.” Gina flipped her curls off shoulder theatrically then gestured for Thea to follow her to her room. “I need your help, I can’t decide on the black skinny jeans and boots or the matching purple skirt.” 

Thea circled Gina a few times, evaluating the options. “What about that black skirt you have with the zipper up the front? Then you add your grey booties and your crop leather jacket.” 

“This is why I keep you around.” Gina dropped to her knees and started digging through the bottom of her closet. “So are you ready for tonight?”

“Ehh...” 

“You’re definitely going to turn some heads tonight, you little firecracker. I guess the question is, whose head do you want to turn?”

Thea fell backwards onto Gina’s bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Can we just skip tonight and order take out?” 

“No, you’re avoiding the question. And besides, I do not look this good just to sit on the couch with you.” She lifted her head somewhat to see Gina putting the finishing touches on her outfit. “Now, let’s go before you chicken out like a pussy. All your men are going to be waiting on you.” 

It was now or never. Run and hide from an uncomfortable situation or walk straight into it like the boss that she knew she was. 

~~~

The girls entered the hole-in-the-wall italian restaurant and looked around for the group, finally spotting them at a table in the corner. Jake and Danny were yelling over each other while McKenzi, Danny’s girlfriend, tried to play referee to their argument. No one had noticed them yet. 

“All I’m saying is that you don’t have to practice your set at 3 in the morning, it’s ridiculous.” Jake’s hands were flailing around while Danny was shaking his head furiously. 

“If you can blast your music when you’ve got a girl back, then I can play the damn drums. Fair is fair.” Danny retorted, crossing his arms firmly. 

Beside her, Gina nudged her in the ribs but Thea just pretended she hadn’t heard that last part and cleared her throat, all eyes falling on her. 

“My bodacious babes, you both look dazzling!” Josh pronounced, knocking his chair back and motioned to the empty chairs.

Her first instinct was to sit in the chair next to Jake, but his attention was diverted to the glass in front of him, avoiding making eye contact at all costs. Rolling her eyes, Thea slid into the seat between Josh and Sam, across from Danny and McKenzi, letting Gina across from Jake. 

“So are you guys pumped for tonight? Tyler said it’s supposed to be the biggest crowd you’ve ever had.” 

“When did you talk to Tyler?” Sam asked quietly, only so Thea could hear. 

She raised an eyebrow, “Hmm, on Wednesday I think it was. I went by the bar after work and he was there. Why?” 

“I don’t like that guy. He hits on every girl who walks in there, it’s annoying-”

McKenzi tapped on the table, stopping whatever Sam was going to say next. “And why shouldn’t he hit on her? She looks hot! You’ll have to beat the guys off with a stick tonight.” 

A few seats down, Gina choked back a laugh into her water. Thea shot her a murderous glare and smiled at the girl. “Thanks, Kenz, you look amazing too. That fringe jacket is to die for.” McKenzi excitedly ran her fingers through the strings, making them dance in the air. The rest of the comment vanished into thin air. 

“Can we please get back to the matter at hand?” Josh’s voice boomed over everyone else. Thea shrunk her seat, unprepared for them to go back to discussing Jake’s love life being interrupted by drums. “The setlist for tonight is still undecided.”

 Oh thank god. 

The boys all launched into a discussion about which songs would be best in which order. It gave her the chance for her mind to wander. To think about if Mason and Declan had gotten the apartment, why Jake was avoiding eye-contact, what Mason might wear tonight, how drunk she wanted to get. 

A light tap on her shoulder brought her back to reality. “Hey, are you alright, tiny?”

“Yeah, I’m great. Just have some stuff on my mind, I guess I spaced out.” Her eyes flashed over to Jake, who was in the middle of a passionate discussion with Gina on the effects of music on mental and emotional health, before looking back down to the table.   

“Anything I can help with?” 

She patted his knee appreciatively, “not really, Sammy, but thank you.”

The best thing and worst thing about Sam was that he was an observer. In an instant, he could zero in on the smallest dip in someone’s mood. Most times, it was the thing she looked forward to at the end of a long day. However, when she was trying to keep a secret, it made things a lot more difficult. 

Thea nervously picked at a loose thread on the table cloth, praying that something would grab Sam’s attention, and thanking the lord when the waitress walked up to the table. The girl moved out of the aisle and squeezed in the small space by Jake’s chair, flashing him a flirty smile. 

“Hi, I’m Sienna. Have you guys decided what you’re in the mood for today?” She asked enthusiastically. The group all nodded at each other, agreeing that they were ready to order. “Well let’s start with you cutie.” Her hand was a feather on Jake’s shoulder and she leaned in close to him.

A giant pile of jealousy slammed onto Thea’s chest as she watched Jake return the waitresses smile from across the table. A vision played in her mind of sweeping her hand off his shoulder and then pulling him in for a kiss, making it clear that he was hers. 

“Ahem, T, it’s your turn.” Sam jostled her shoulder, startingly her. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” frantically, she grabbed for the menu and scanned it, ignoring the feeling of Jake’s dark eyes boring a hole in her skull. At this very moment, she wished that a hole would open up and swallow her for eternity. 

“She’ll have the chicken fettuccine with no mushrooms and mix in little marinara sauce please.” 

Thea’s head snapped up to see Jake ordering for her. The waitress looked back at her and Thea slowly nodded her head indicating that was really what she wanted. Sienna gathered the menus in her arms and trudged off to the kitchen. All eyes at the table moved to look at Jake in complete confusion. 

Jake sat still for a second before shifting in his seat uneasily. “What?” He croaked out.

“Uh how did you know her order, dude?” Danny’s forehead crinkled. 

Jake stared at him blankly, “because it’s her favorite dish here? Even though she acts like she’s gonna get something new, she orders it every time.” 

On the inside, butterflies were flying around in Thea’s stomach at the thought that Jake had noticed her. He had noticed her in a way that wasn’t only meant to be physical. There was something that made him remember the things she ordered and her behaviors. She wanted to squeal and dance and jump around like a crazy person. 

On the outside, she was cool as a cucumber, instead just giving him a thankful smile and putting her attention on Josh, who had already begun telling his next dramatic story. 

This didn’t change anything. They were still just two people in the same friend group, nothing more. Nothing more to the public eye. 

~~~

“I’m gonna need a round of shots to make it through tonight.” Gina chuckled at Thea’s whiny tone. “And gin. Lots of gin.” 

“Alright, this round’s on me.” 

Elbowing her way past groups of people to the bar, Gina already looked completely done with the crowd. The entire place was packed wall-to-wall with people, all mingling with each other, creating a single hum of mixed voices. It was dimly lit, the only light coming from the few fixtures scattered on the walls. 

She’d spotted a few Greta Van Fleet shirts floating around, and for a second, she wondered if it would be possible to spot the agent or if they would blend right in with the sea of faces. 

“I swear to god, I will murder someone by the end of the night. It took so long for Tyler to even get to me. All those stupid girls were flocking around him like seagulls.” Gina huffed as she slammed the tray of drinks down on the table. 

Thea snatched a shot and downed it in one swift motion. The alcohol burned the back of her throat and sat warmly in her stomach. She reached for one more and shot it down quickly too, grabbing the gin and tonic to chase it down. 

“Dude, I need you to slow your roll.” Gina looked baffled.

“Sorry, G, that was just a weird dinner.” Her throat was on fire from the alcohol.

Gina took a shot of her own. “Yeah, what the hell was up with that? First he acted like you didn’t even exist and then he’s quoting your food order like it was a sonnet. Aren’t you guys supposed to be acting normal or something?”

“I have no clue what’s going on. I’m not usually in this type of position. I don’t know how to be friends with benefits with someone that I like-like but that someone doesn’t like-like me back.”

 “No one does. Because you’re not supposed to get in these situations when you like someone. It only leads to heartbreak.”

Thea pouted, “I didn’t intend on getting in this situation, jerk-” 

“Teddy! Gina!” Mason’s voice called from behind them and they turned in their chairs to see Mason and Declan weaving between the bodies. Impulsively, Thea grabbed another shot and slammed it down. Gina grumbled under her breath and moved to stand up, pulling Thea out of her seat too. 

She hugged Declan casually and stepped towards Mason, gulping as she looked up at him. Instead of his usual jean jacket, Mason had a red sports jacket on over his black hoodie. Damn he looked good, like always. He held out his arms and she stepped into them on instinct, her heart fluttering as he wrapped her in a strong hug. She inhaled the sweet scent of bergamot and cedarwood, the smell of the cologne he’d worn since she’d bought it for him in freshman year, and a slight hint of his favorite gum, winter mint. It was invigorating.

“Well, I had gotten us all shots, but T took yours, I’m sorry.” 

Mason laughed at Gina’s sour face, “it’s all good, G, I’ll just grab a couple beers. You guys want anything while I’m up there?” 

They all shook their heads no and sat back down while Mason disappeared into the crowd. Declan started joking about why they’d been late and the girls both started cackling at them getting lost. 

“How do you get lost? It’s a grid system, Dec!” Thea exclaimed zealously. 

From the side of the stage, Sam watched as Gina and Thea greeted two random guys with hugs. One guy headed towards the bar, but the other one planted himself right in between them. 

“What the fuck?” He muttered to himself. 

“What’s wrong?” Sam jumped at Jake’s voice behind him.

Looking away, he tried to pretend he hadn’t just been staring at the girls. “Uh, it’s nothing...”

“Samuel, just fucking tell me.” 

“I just didn’t realize that Gina and Thea had invited some friends to the show. It’s not a big deal.” 

Jake peeked around the corner, his eyes instantly finding Thea at her usual table just as a guy walked up behind her and squeezed her shoulder. She beamed as he sat down in the chair beside her and laid his arm across the back of her chair. 

Keeping his face neutral, he looked back at Sam. “The more the merrier, huh?” 

“Yeah, I just don’t recognize them...” 

“They’re probably just friends from work.” 

Sam sulked. “Do you think they could have boyfriends? They haven’t mentioned any guys to me, but you know girls, they’re weird as hell. All four of them look pretty chummy.” 

“I doubt it, dude. You live with them, I think you’d know if they were hooking up with people.” Jake shook Sam’s shoulder roughly, “don’t focus on that. Focus on melting these people’s faces off.” 

“Gentleman, the time is now!” Josh flourished his arms into the air and stepped out onto the stage. 

The crowd roared loudly as the rest of the lights dimmed, only the stage lit up. One by one, the guys followed after Josh. They were all dressed to the nines. Josh lit up the stage in his paper white jumpsuit, a little white feather earring dangling on the side of his head. Danny was wearing his favorite leather vest without a shirt. And Jake, he looked like a god tonight. He had a black jacket with beautiful gold emblems open over his bare chest. 

Without hesitation, Thea jumped up from her seat and walked toward the stage. She glanced back and saw the rest of them still sitting. “Aren’t you guys coming?” 

“I’m gonna sit back here for a bit, babe. I like being able to see the whole stage.” Gina called, clapping loudly. Mason’s eyes darted between Gina and then Declan before following after Thea. 

“Somehow, you still have me chasing after you.” He joked, nuding her shoulder.

She looked back at him and winked, “this will be worth it, trust me.” 

She rushed up to the center stage and waved at Sam excitedly. He nodded back at her just as Jake ripped into the first riff of Highway Tune. They shredded through the song and immediately went right into Edge of Darkness. This was her favorite song because Jake had a remarkable solo for almost five minutes. 

Once in a while, she would make a silly face at Sam but he ignored her every time. Her heart sank at the thought that maybe Jake had told him their secret. Her eyes drifted to watch Jake, his head was thrown back and his eyes were scrunched closed while he played the notes. 

“These guys are awesome! How did you say you know them?” Mason’s voice was right in her ear causing goosebumps to prickle across her skin. 

She leaned in a little bit and tilted her chin so he could hear her over the music. “They’re my best friends. Sam, the bass player, is me and Gina’s roommate.” 

Mason moved his head back and blinked in surprise. “They’re really good, that guitar player is fantastic.” 

“Yeah, he’s on fire tonight!” Thea bounced up and down just as Josh stepped back in to finish up the song. 

~~~ 

After an hour, the band finished their set and disappeared off to the side of the stage. Thea let out a deep breath, the adrenaline making her heart pound, and grinned up at Mason. She had forgotten that he was there after a while, being so focused on Greta playing a flawless set. 

Her eyes had constantly been changing from Sam, who had barely glanced at her the whole time, and Jake, who had been so focused on the songs that he had barely even looked up. 

“Come on, let’s head back to the table.” She stepped backwards towards the back of the bar. “What did you think?” 

“They’re great, they all seem to have real talent with their instruments. The singer-” 

“Josh.”

“Yeah, Josh, he’s amazing. His voice is so old school rock n’ roll. I love it.” 

They returned to the table just in time to hear Declan raving about how good the show had been. There was a small feeling of pride in Thea’s chest to know that her friends enjoyed the band. These were her guys and it felt good to see the reactions from newcomers. 

“Oh my gosh, they did amazing!” McKenzi shouted over the rest of the voices as she plopped down in an empty chair, looking completely dazed and her hair was flying all over the place. Gina leaned across the table and tried to tame some of her flyaways but it was a lost cause and they both started giggling. 

From across the room, Thea could see the boys breaking down their equipment. Every one of them was completely in sync, moving one way while someone else moved the other way. It was clear they were one unit and that’s why everything worked as well as it did. 

Danny finished putting away his bass drum and the group jumped down from the stage and crossed the room. Josh swept around the group and placed a kiss on top of Gina’s, McKenzi’s, and Thea’s heads lovingly - something he did after every show as part of his ritual as a way to thank all the positive spirits. 

Slipping into the chair next to McKenzi, Danny pulled her into a tight embrace, leaving splotches of sweat on her shirt. Behind them, Sam and Jake hovered back, both of them watching Mason and Declan with blank stares. Thea squirmed uncomfortably at the tension she felt was being directed right at her. 

“Ahem, guys, this is Declan and Mason, some friends from high school.” Gina finally spoke up. “Dec, Mas, this is Josh, Sam, Jake, Danny, and Danny’s girlfriend, McKenzi. Sam is mine and Thea’s other roommate.” 

Mason shook everyone’s hands as Gina introduced them and Thea cringed at the intensity that Sam squeezed his hand when it was his turn, but Mason just grinned like it hadn’t even phased him. He had never been one to back down from an awkward situation. 

Now that everyone had officially met, maybe the rest of the night could go off without a hitch, Thea prayed. She couldn’t keep herself from wondering what Jake might be thinking, he hadn’t looked at her once since the restaurant. 

“Are you guys gonna sit down?” Thea asked curiously. 

“I’ll be at the bar.” Jake replied tersely before bee-lining it away from the table. Thea’s lips parted in surprise before her eyes moved to look at Sam sadly. 

“Sammy?” 

“Ya know, I think I’m gonna get a drink too.” He replied bluntly. 

Thea glimpsed over at Gina desperately who gave her a half-hearted shrug in response. Both boys stood side-by-side at the bar, their shoulders filled with tension, and she so badly wanted to follow after them but it was clear they wanted some space. 

Her heart dropped slightly as she saw a girl saunter up to Jake and start flirting with him. Instantly, he had his charming smile on and was leaning in so he could hear her better. Thea could feel the tears burn her eyes but she blinked them away as quick as possible. 

“So,” Josh clapped his hands together loudly, “Mason and Declan, you guys went to highschool with our girls?” 

“Yep, since sixth grade. We were attached at the hip for most of it.” Declan said before taking a sip of his beer. “Mason and Teddy dated for like four years too.” He said and everyone’s eyes went wide. 

“Who’s Teddy?” McKenzi asked, her brows crinkled deeply. 

“Um, Thea? Ya know, short for Theadora.” Mason sounded a bit baffled. 

Danny chortled, “T, your name is Theadora?” 

“What of it, Wagner?” Thea hissed and Danny’s face went pale as he shrunk behind McKenzi’s shoulder, but she pushed him away from her. “Anyways, can we please move on from my hideous name, please?” 

“So, Mason, what kind of job do you have?” McKenzi intervened, clearly seeing how embarrassed Thea was feeling at the whole situation. One reason that Thea hoped Danny would never let that amazing woman walk out of his life.

Mason gave her appreciative smile for trying to divert the conversation. “Oh, I just started working for Atlantic Records Group as a talent agent.”

[gloriousthorn]

I’ve been meaning to write something about the tour since I left the second Hammerstein Ballroom show, but I just keep coming back to this:

“Don’t cry.”

This was said to me by the woman next to me in the pit, because I dissolved in tears as soon as “Work Song” started.  And she meant it kindly, of course, and I was glad enough to sway back and forth with her for the duration of the song and give her a hug at the end of it.  But I was totally fine with crying. *

I was lucky enough to see four shows in three different venues between March and November, and every single one was special and moving.  I’ve compared the feeling of seeing him live to being maybe nine years old and riding a great roller coaster for the first time (for certain people who like that kind of thing): you just get off at the end and scream, AGAIN.

I don’t need to bore anyone who clicked Keep Reading with the details of the shows themselves.  You know the setlists, the banter, the outfits.  We could, if we cared to, get into a lengthy discussion of how switching up the opener from “Would That I” to “As It Was” shifted the feel of the whole show; we could speculate who the “Margaret” is that “Shrike” was dedicated to at that second Hammerstein show; we could lament how much we missed Suzanne even if Emily was pretty terrific.  But that’s not my point here.  Those conversations have been had.  (Or go ahead and inbox me if you still want to have them.)

So.

I went to that second Hammerstein show on my own, unlike the others, which I attended with my partner or with friends.  I have joked that I shouldn’t go to Hozier shows unchaperoned, because the power of my emotions feels that huge, but I’d run out of friends who wanted to go to (yet. another.) Hozier show, so I went solo.  And it was fine.  The crowds at his shows are generally well-behaved enough, even on a Friday night in New York City, that I wasn’t afraid to be a smallish lady on my own.

But that song.  Coming at the end of a show in which he’d added “Scott Warren cried power” to Nina, in which he played the new songs that continue to defy everything in this world that I hate and cling to everything I hope for—I could cry now, just thinking about this—he still wanted the last word to be, “No grave can hold my body down/I’ll crawl home to her.”  Those, as they were at every show, were the words we’d go home with.  

And maybe it’s that I feel so lucky to have known a love like that with my partner, and maybe it’s that I feel so fortunate to have spent so much time with the music that’s so big musically and lyrically that it has room for rage and death, love and resurrection, and maybe it’s just that I cry at the drop of a hat anyway, but I cried.  Happily.  Unabashedly.  

And I don’t begrudge that kind woman her kind reaction, because as his music moved me to tears, it moved her to compassion, and moved us both to connection, however brief, with a stranger. 

Thanks for an unbelievable run to everyone who made the tour happen.  I feel so, so, so damn lucky to have been there.

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Punk Rock Prince

Summary: Punk rock lead guitarist Jinyoung, and (Y/n) the bassist of Nonchalant Disruption, a punk rock band looking for a new lead guitarist. 

Jinyoung X Reader

One-shot 

It was the third time watching Jinyoung play all by himself, his riffs floating through the room, if only I could ask him if he was looking to be in a band. My band was lacking a lead guitarist ever since Gwen had decided she had better places to be, and no longer wanted to play in a punk rock band. She wanted to be in a pop band, and be the lead, and I had offered her countless times to take lead and each time she had declined. Her passion lies in pop music, and we decided to let her go so she could achieve her dreams. And the rest of us were left searching for a guitarist, posting flyers everywhere, putting ads in newspapers, we still have yet to receive a call. 

My friend Mark, the drummer in our band, comes up to me and he’s like, “You’ve been watching each time he plays, he seems like a pretty good replacement” I nodded at the fact, “I think he’s going to make us big, he’d be more than just a replacement but we have to ask…” He rolls his eyes, “Why don’t you ask Joy to do it?” I look over to where she is in the bar, and she’s flirting with a man, “Well, I would but you know her.” He laughs, “I’ll just do it, once he’s done with his setlist. Although, if I’m being honest he could make it on his own, he’s so talented-” “Like Gwen?” “Yeah, I loved her” “You’ve always had a thing for lead guitarists-” “You’ve always had a thing for rhythm guitarists-” “You didn’t deny it” He tries to tease me, “Nor did you~” I smirk at him, and he rolls his eyes, “I should have became the lead guitarist, instead of being the bassist” He laughs at me, “Yeah maybe, but here we are now… Anyway, I think he’s almost done” I shake my head at him, disagreeing, “You know in November Rain where they have a dip in the middle? Yeah, that’s what this is going to be” I was right, and I head up to the bartender and ask him about Jinyoung, “Why doesn’t anyone every ask about me?! Ah yes, Jackson, how are you? I’m fine, thank you” He looks at me pointedly, “Fine,... How are you Jackson?” “Little late now, anyway, Jinyoung has been looking for a group, although he is pretty good solo he likes company, he doesn’t want to be lonely.” I nod gesturing him to go on, “There are three groups and a few companies looking at taking them into their arms” I grumble, “Of course there are-” “But I bet with your sweet charms, you could do it-” “Jackson… How’s the love life?” “They’re mad at me…” “Why?” “I didn’t remember our cats birthdays…” “Jaebum will get over it, but you need to make it up” “I know, plus I only flirt with customers to get better tips” “Everyone knows that” He scoffs at me, “Well, your man is packing up his guitar” My eyes go wide, realizing I had talked to Jackson too long.

People piled up where he had to walk, already asking him to join their group, and I almost screamed, when I see a well-known act talking to him and garnering his full attention. After he walks away he doesn’t talk to anyone else, it’s not like I can reach him anyway, with the way he moved out the back door exit. I go back over to Mark and almost screamed again, he knows immediately what happened. “Don’t worry, if he joins with Jolly Roger, we’ll just figure it out okay? You never know, someone better than him might come around” I nod as we eventually get Joy to come back to us, and leave the joint.

Three hours later, laying in my bedroom about ready to scream because every time I’ve wanted to ask Jinyoung to be our guitarist something always comes in the way. The first time, Gwen had saw us and talked our heads off about the pop world. The second time being Joy getting drunk off her ass and trying to beat someone up twice her size. Dragging her away and apologizing for her was horrifying. That man was so pissed off, thank god I’m friends with Jaebum and Jackson. Mark and I would have been beaten to a pulp, after Joy was. This last time I screwed it up, I mean it was only a matter of time before I had. 

As I lay on my bed contemplating what I’m going to do, maybe start screaming from rooftops to join my group if you're a lead guitarist. That’s when I get a call, I immediately roll over, and answer and it’s just a spam call. I nearly threw my phone against the wall, thankfully, it hit my bean bag. I grumble shoving myself under blankets, and curling into my pillow, and not a minute later after getting comfy. My phone goes off, and I roll my eyes, getting up, and I answer, “Is this uh (Y/n) from Nonchalant Disruption?” I nod, realizing they can’t hear that I answer, “Yeah” “I saw your advertisement that you were looking for a lead guitarist, and I was wondering if I could audition?” “Um is tomorrow good for you?” “Yeah, what time?” “Let me go see when the others are free, give me a second?” Covering the receiver up, I quickly yell if 10 am is good for everyone to see our potentially new lead guitarist, the two shout back a ‘sure’. “Are you good with 10 am?” “Yeah” “Perfect,” I grin, “can I get your name?” “Oh uh, yeah, Park Jinyoung” My jaw drops, and I’m so glad he couldn’t see, get yourself back together, (Y/n), I scold myself internally, before telling him, “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you Jinyoung, I’ll-We’ll see you tomorrow” With that we hang up, and I throw myself into my bed and scream into my pillow. 

Joy comes rushing in, “You okay?” I grin up at her, “More than okay” “It’s Jinyoung isn’t it” I nod at her and she laughs at me, “So wanna talk about him~” “He’s going to be our new guitarist, and-” “You have a thing for leads you know that?” “Yes, and what about it…” as I whisper in her ear, “Drummer girl” “Shut up, he won’t go for me” I roll my eyes at her, “Are you going to play this game of horrible charades with him for much longer?” “This is about you not me” “Yeah, yeah, I know… Anyway I think he’s cute, and man do guitarists always have to be that hot?” She winks at me, “Not you, ew…” “You’re mean” “Yeah, and?” “How did Gwen put up with dating you” “She didn’t, that’s why she broke up with me and left the group to play pop music” “Still sour over that, it’s been three months since she left the group.” “I’m over that, very much so, but doesn’t mean I can’t grumble” “Yes and no” I sigh, "She broke up with me two years ago, she was in our band up until three months ago and it's still a sore wound just like for you guys because even if I wasn't with her romantically, it was just nice to be with her, she really played a good roll in the band" "I know your over her romantically but we'll see if Jinyoung wants to join us. And then we can began anew, alright?" I nod and lay back on my bed, Mark knocks on the door that's open, "Takeout is here" I pat my bed and he walks over plopping himself on it, and we feast like well cheap kings, tomorrow gleaming in our eyes. 

Jinyoung arrives thirty minutes early, thankfully we were all ready and cleaned up. Like always, the people that live in the other apartments are at work right now. We sit on the couch and ell Jinyoung to start when he’s ready, and just like at his gigs he plays loud and fast riffs which transition into still loud but slow riffs that leave your heart pounding wondering what is to come next. Mark looks over at me and grins, Joy does the same, before I say, "How about this we play and you try to keep up" Jinyoung smirks at us, "I think it'll be you trying to keep up with me" all cocky like, not many people know but we start on two on practice, for shows we start on five. Mark goes, "A one and a two" without missing a beat Jinyoung starts on two with ease and we start playing our fastest song, "New Girl" (by suicide machines if you like punk rock music I suggest it) Mark and I singing the main, Joy doing the backing vocals, Jinyoung catches on pretty fast not only catching onto backing vocals but on guitar. Gwen was a fan of fast chord progression and he is playing it effortlessly, like he's heard the song a million times, when we finish, I look over at him, "How do you know that song so well?" He grins at us, "I've been following your band for a long time, you guys got me into punk rock music… And once I got a taste of how fast you can play I never wanted to let it go. And when Gwen left the band, it felt like my heart being ripped out. I thought you guys were going to disband and never play again. Then, I started seeing Nonchalant Disruption flyers, and I was trying to find free time in between playing little gigs… and it would be my honor to play with you guys" He humbly bows his head just in case he wasn't going to be let in. Before I can say a word, Mark lets out, "You're in" he looks at us so shocked, he starts to sputter not expecting us to accept him, "You're the only one that audition" I agree with Joy, and let out my own view, "We've been watching you play for the past couple days and… we were trying to get you in the group-" "You were trying-" "Besides the point Mark" Mark laughs at me, and Jinyoung grins, "So um can you play all our songs-" "Yeah, I know (Y/n) has mentioned how they love The Ramones and I figured out half of their songs, Mark loves Death a protopunk band, Gwen loved the The Queers, and Joy loves The Clash" 

"You decided to follow all our favorite groups and learn most of their songs?" He nods, "And in doing that I found my favorite punk rock band The Sex Pistols" I grin at him, "That's one of our favorite groups too, we look at them for inspiration a lot, hoping that we can get one of our albums banned." He smirks at us, "Well I'm going to be the one that’ll get you there and beyond." Joy puts her hand on my shoulder before stepping next to me, "Oh is that so?" Mark questions as he gets up from his stool, Jinyoung nods, I look at the other two and put my hand out, Joy lays her hand on mine, Mark on top of that, and we gesture Jinyoung to do the same, he puts his hand in, and we shout loudly and proudly, "To Nonchalant Disruption" 

We celebrated, and it wasn't long before we were back on tour. Jinyoung's skills made us so much better, no offense to Gwen but he could out play her any day. To say the least, I was slowly falling for him, from his cockiness to his motherly nature. He’d act cocky about his skills as a guitarist--although he is fully valid in that cockiness--to cooking dinner for us or giving us a look that tells us not to do something idiotic. But his laughter is something that holds a place in my heart like no other. Gods wished to have his laughter, it's so cute. But oh dear, when he gets mischievous glint in his eyes, and gets in on the joke. Like where I was the one to have spilt the flour all over the floor,... it was 3 am in the morning, and before I could clean it up, Joy was screaming as she slipped on it and landed. I ran back to my room as she started screaming that she was going to get Mark back. And she did, I acted to be asleep through it all and Jinyoung came in when the other two went to sleep, "You did it, didn't you?" "What are you talking about?" The glint in his eyes glowing bright, "Fine,... don't tell Joy" He smirks, "What do I get out of it, if I don't tell her?" I look at him, "My dignity-" "Since when you did you have that?" "Don't get smart on me, Jinyoung… but I'll buy you that Gibson you've been looking at" Needless to say, I bought him the white Gibson, and Joy got Mark back by going into the shower and pouring blue dye on him. Oh, not only was his hair stained blue but his skin too, the smurf jokes that went on for weeks. And I was so glad Jinyoung kept it a secret because that would have been my fate. 

When Gwen had called us and told us she was going to get married, I was floored. With her being gorgeous and all, the stunning personality, there was no reason to say she wouldn’t make someone fall for her, but I never thought she would reciprocate those feelings. After all, she had told me she was never the marrying type, Gwen was a very private person. She had always been, no one knew I had been with her, just like every other band that kisses their members to fuel the fangirls and fanboys, that's what we did. No one knew what we were up to, except those within the group. That's how she liked it, so when Jinyoung found me crying in the closet he was so shocked. I was over her but it felt like she never felt anything for me. She was making her marriage public, for everyone to know that she is going to be happy with the man she was marrying… The only part private is who is on the guest list. It felt like our whole relationship was a sham, as much as I was over Gwen I couldn’t help but feel like during the time we were together she didn’t feel the same. And that I was hopelessly in love with him, that I may be crying of Gwen, I know where my true feelings lie. Gwen just caused me pain from her antics. I cried all of this to Jinyoung, he just held me as talked it out. Not saying a word to me but just rockin’ me back and forth, and I could have stayed in those arms forever. 

I guess I got tuckered out crying in his arms, because when I woke up I was in my bed and it was 7 in the morning. As I sat up, I heard a knock on my door, I looked up and told them to come in. Low and behold, it was Jinyoung and he had a tray full of breakfast food, and he tells me, “You had a rough night last night, I made you breakfast, got you some Motrin just in case you needed it.” The breakfast he made me was enough to feed an army. But I wasn’t about to complain about this, rather I start thanking him over and over again. “Didn’t she say you needed to bring someone as a date to her wedding?” I groan as I nod at him, shoveling a big bite of pancake, with whip cream, syrup, and butter on it. “Would you want to go as my date?” He asks softly, my eyes go wide as I gulp down the big bite. My cheeks a rosy red, as I careful and quiet voice I say, “I would love to” He grins, “We can show her what’s she’s missing out on. I mean for god sakes who would leave someone like you, your everything someone dreams about. And she left you for some guy whose money is as big as his ego” I chuckle at him, “Thanks, Jinyoung, you don’t know how much yo-I mean that means to me.” He rolls his eyes, “Just admit it you love me” I look up at him, “Yeah I do, I love you a lot Jinyoung. And I don’t know why my heart was fussing over her last night, when I have everything I need right in front of me. You’re everything I could want and more, you punk” He laughs, and takes whip cream off the top of my pancakes, I pout as he eats it. “You’re right I’m a punk, but I’m your punk, baby, just like you’re my punk.” 

So maybe I didn’t end up with my dream girl. I ended up with someone better, the dreamiest guy, that makes me breakfast in bed. Who kisses my hand whenever he takes it in his. Who twirls me around as we listen to the Sex Pistols, who sat besides me holding my hand as we got matching tattoos. Maybe we shouldn’t have done it, but I do know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And a tattoo was just the way to do it. We didn’t want a grand wedding, a small wedding as The Ramones played as we kissed. Mark and Joy hollering, because they were the two to witness it. The priestess wishing us well, Joy and Mark attached cans to the back of my car, them clattering as we drive through the pouring rain after we ran to get into the car. And I wouldn’t have had our wedding any other way. Dancing in the rain as we listened to The Misfits. Later that night, getting those matching tattoos, kissing in the alleyway behind the shop, everyone dreams of someone kissing them the way Jinyoung kissed me behind that shop. 

Mark and Joy eventually got together, two punk power couples in the same band. It seemed impossible but it only made our group stronger, having double dates with them is honestly cute. Joy got on her knee one time while we were on a double date, Jinyoung and I knowing about this for weeks and being in on the planning. As she asked him to marry her, Mark’s eyes flooding with tears as he joined her on the carpet and agreed. Jinyoung nestled his head into my neck and sighingly said, “Young Love” We all rolled our eyes at him, but I agreed. 

I never thought I would end up with such a great guy like Jinyoung, but here I am sitting on a porch as it rains, and he’s sprinting from the car, and has flowers, I look at him like he’s crazy and he sits on the porch swing seat next to me, “It’s our anniversary of the day we meet and I got you flowers” I grinned, and bring him into the house, “You think I’d forget such an important date?” He raises his eyebrows at me, I can be quite forgetful, I forgot our marriage anniversary so many times, until the last minute. I tell him to go get changed into something warm, he agreed and Joy and Mark came out of their hiding spots, “Get to your rooms, you two, dastardly devils” The snicker, “Yes, (Y/n)” I roll my eyes, as I go to the cabinet and pull out the wrapped present I’ve been hiding, knowing that the three of them can find anything unless it’s glaringly obvious that it’s there, then they’ll just pass over it. I pull out the mini cake to find spelled out on the cake, “Happy mini anniversary, babe” Knowing I didn’t ice that, I have to remind myself to thank those two devils. 

Jinyoung comes down as I get out two paper plates, after putting the flowers into a vase. I gesture for him to sit down, his anarchy tattoo showing proudly on his neck. “Open your present babe” He does so slowly, taking the bow apart and taking it open piece by piece. He lets out a loud gasp, one of the hardest albums to get, God Save the Queen by The Sex Pistols, and I tell him to open it up, and it’s signed. He carefully places it back on the counter, and jumps over the counter and pulls me into him, kissing me deeply, “You didn’t have to do that babe, thank you so much” I grin at him, “You deserve especially with dealing with forgetful old me, I love you so much. And I know how much every anniversary means to you, along with birthdays and I just want to show that appreciation I have for you… Plus if you think this is a little much wait till your birthday--” He shuts me up with a kiss, “Thank you so much, baby” I hear a knock as I cut the cake into two slices, I groan and Joy gets the door to reveal, Jaebum and Jackson. 

They come in, “Happy mini anniversary you two, we were here to pick you four up for a big celebration after all it’s your eighth anniversary of the day you met, so…” I look at Jinyoung he shrugs, “After we eat the cake” They grumble, and Jinyoung and I eat comfortably, not caring about dressing up that much for the date. Knowing we were just going to celebrate it in the kitchen of their bar. 

Jinyoung’s hands intertwined with mine as we walked into the bar and he danced with me on the empty dance floor. After a little while we join the rest of them in the kitchen. Bambam and Yugyeom coming in with a keg of beer, Youngjae coming in with boxes of pizza, and there is no other way I would want to celebrate our mini my anniversary with Jinyoung. With his hand intertwined with mine under the table as we eat. I kiss his nose as we exchange stories. Our friend group got big after we met Jinyoung, and it feels like a big tight knit family. 

I guess I should tell you Gwen’s wedding was spectacular for those who were famous. But for us it was boring except Jinyoung and I dancing to the songs, singing horribly to them. We danced the night away, and Jinyoung is right like he usually is, she knows what she’s missing out on, and there is no way she can get me back. With the way he dips me in his arms, to swaying back and forth, or dramatically twirling one another. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, for all these people to see me happily with Jinyoung. Although, being there did help in our rise to fame, more people wanting to know what a punk band was doing, after all she asked us to sing a song at her wedding, pop appropriate of course. Although I may or may not have slipped a curse word into the song that didn’t have a curse word in it… while playing at Gwen’s wedding. 

I guess I do have a thing for lead guitarists, if their name is Park Jinyoung, of course. No one can beat his charms, his heart, his laugh, his everything. And he would say the same about me if not more, I love him as he loves me. I lean into him and kiss his neck discreetly and he shivers, and rolls his eyes at me, “I love you” I whisper into his neck, “I love you too” he says softly to me, ruffling my hair.

[joj-parisol]

The Monroes (John Lennon x Reader)

Summary: The Monroes are the only female band on the set list. Y/N likes Rory Storm and the Hurricanes and definitely does not like The Quarrymen. Especially not John Lennon. (shit summary I know)

Warnings: Panic attacks and vomiting (sorry) shitty writing bc I didn’t check this oof

A/N: hi sorry if it’s terrible but I’ve been coming back to this fic for about a week save me. Anyway. The panic attack is written through personal experience and I’m very sorry if it offends anyone so please don’t read of you might get triggered. I hope everyone who reads this enjoys! Imma go ahead and tag one of the best writers on this cursed site, the lovely @casafrass also that anon lol. -🥦

Get ready for some Teddy Boy John, bitches.

—————

The music courses through her veins every night. It became ritual that she would blast her solos. She had put her blood, sweat and tears into the songs they performed and Eliza put her heart and soul into singing them.

The rhythm of their own songs guided Y/N’s hips, accidentally thrusting her guitar towards the audience, earning a roar of delight. The audience was packed in every direction she looked. People were curved into archways and crowded every doorway or other persons lap. Some stood, resembling sardines in the way they were packed in with each other. They were unable to dance but they tapped their feet or swayed to the beat. It was the same every night.

Nobody could resist The Monroes. They, like their namesake, were each irresistibly beautiful. This made them exceptionally popular with their male audience. Their music was like a spell, enchanting anyone who heard it to hum, dance or sing. People were captivated by the girls, with their camp and flamboyant stage presence paired with their raunchy costumes. They were the only all-Female band and it made them popular among the younger generation of early feminists and the men who liked their ‘appeal’.

They had a friendly competition put in place with Rory Storm and his Hurricanes. They rivalled in their shock-value and Y/N once made a deal with Ringo to see who could get the most dates. Y/N has since refused to answer who won. Rory and Eliza took the competition a little too seriously. Everyday, a costume would be more dramatic or ‘dazzling’ or a new song would feature a longer high note. They had to one-up each other.

This rivalry grew tension and one night after a few complimentary drinks, Rory and Eliza stumbled out of the bar, eagerto rip the costumes off of the other. They both denied the accusations but The Monroes were staying in an old strip club and thin walls reveal all.

Though they tried, none of the Hurricanes could woo any other Monroes. Y/N loved Ringo and it was returned, in nothing more than a platonic way. The other two Monroes weren’t inclined to any Hurricane, platonically or romantically. Lucy, the drummer, only cared for the music, strippers and free booze and the bassist, Shirley, had her eyes on one of the Quarrymen.

Out of everyone in the world, she liked one of the awful, cocky assholes who played before The Monroes did. Every time they clunked off of stage, clad in leather, Y/N always felt the urge to throw something. But it was specifically John Lennon. He would stomp over in his flame patterned cowboy boots with a smug grin painted on his face.

“Try and beat that, sugar.” He would smirk at Y/N. Always her, never one of the others. He would often try to brush the hair from her face but with a sharp turn, Y/N would strut past him. He would whistle as she walked, grovelling on about how perfect her ass was. He would then slither his way over to her later that night when she’d be drinking her wages.

Y/N would chew up his lewd comments and spit them straight back in his face. Her quick wit and sharp tongue only enticed him further, much to her dismay.

Like every other day, The Quarrymen finished droning out a song about ‘Spiting all the danger’ or something, Y/N wasn’t really listening, and John sauntered off stage. His band mates poured backstage after him.

Y/N knew Paul, he was quite charming and had his eyes set on every girl that looked into his. Then there was Stu, a rather handsome man who seemed quite shy as she hadn’t ever seen him talk to anyone outside of The Quarrymen. George was the loveliest out of all five of them, he smiled at each of the girls and complimented Y/N on her solos. He shyly offered to but them drinks but he would then get bombarded with beers for being so cute. He was young and polite, with one hell of a talent for guitar. Y/N didn’t really know Pete. She just knew that once he had made fun of Lucy’s drumming talent and had received a black eye because of it.

They were headed for the bar after coming off os the stage, but when John trailed towards The Monroes, they all followed like obedient dogs. Eliza was mid way through her nightly pep-talk.

“And no matter what, I know we’ll all smash it-“

“I hear the shows aren’t the only thing you’re smashing, eh Liza? How is Rory by the way?” John interrupted, earning sniggers from his leather-clad cronies. Eliza flushed and spluttered, looking for the words that weren’t forming on her tongue. Her embarrassmentade the boys laugh harder.

“Just because Eliza is getting to shag Rory and you aren’t doesn’t mean you have to get jealous, Lennon.” Y/N spat, stepping infront of Eliza protectively and squaring up to the much taller man. The boys were stunned into abrupt silence. Y/n caught the small snort that left George. John raised his eyebrows at her.

“You’ve got me real scared, sugar, but if you keep lookin at me like that you’ll get me all worked up.”

Y/N scowled up at him and scoffed. “In your dreams, Lennon.” His dumb cowboy boots definitely added to his height. Her furrowed brows and folded arms made his grin stretch further across his face.

“Trust me, you’re in my dreams all right.” His hazel eyes gleamed with excitement. Y/N opened her mouth to snap back at him but Eliza caught her arm.

“C’mon, there’s no point talking to swine when we could be on stage instead.” Eliza glared at John and pulled Y/N away from him. She held her head up as Eliza led her away from the insufferable man.

Y/N found her guitar and checked to see if it was in tune. He didn’t have the right to say that to her. He deserved a smack in the face for even having the nerve to say that to her. He might be all high and mighty with his friends but he was actually just a big asshole who-

“Hey, Y/N, you might wanna stop before you break a string.” A familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts. George stood in front of her smiling.

“Oh. Yeah, thanks.” The side glances she was receiving made Y/N realised she had been taking her anger out on her poor guitar.

George hesitated for a second, awkwardly crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry about John, love, he’s always that much of an asshole.” He apologised for John and despite his attempts it made Y/N’s blood boil even more. But George’s hopeful smile melted her heart. She cracked a smile and nudged his shoulder.

“Who you calling love?” Y/N teased, raising her eyebrows accusingly. A light blush rose in George’s cheeks as he fumbled to apologise. A laugh fell from her mouth.

“I’m only playing, love.” Y/N winked at the blushing boy. “Unfortunately I had to be on stage four minutes ago, so I better go.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, the crowds pretty rough today so good luck, Y/N!” George called as she walked up the stairs to the stage.

“Thanks, love.” She shouted back to him, smiling as she heard his cowboy boots click as he ran off.

Y/N joined the rest of the band on stage.

“I’m glad you could join us, your highness.” Lucy called from behind the drums, getting flipped off in return. Y/N plugged in her amp and nodded at Eliza to begin singing.

Just like yesterday and everyday before that, their music worked like a charm over their audience. This usually seemed like a blessing but today it was more of a curse. George was right. The pubs were always crowded and rowdy but this was on a whole other level. This was more than claustrophobic. The amount of people was alarming.

People who didn’t have room to dance, danced. Person after person swept through the door. A sweltering heat encased everyone it could. It was strangling everyone it could.

The lights, the body count, the lack of space and windows. Not even Y/N’s short skirt and low-cut top could save her.

Much to The Monroes’ pleasure, they had a shorter setlist that night. But as the songs got faster and faster, everything rocketed down hill. The loud, rough song with a great deal of shouting and a great rhythm took control of the blundering audience. It was as if the melody had possessed them.

Bodies moved against each other and limbs were thrown around raucously. The chaos was amplified as a fight broke out. In the smoggy room, Y/N couldn’t see the cause of the commotion but the rickety stage shook at the amount of sudden movement. The excited shouts and shrieks drowned out their music.

Y/N couldn’t even hear Eliza, though she was a few steps away. The sudden smashing of glass seemed like an alarm that sent her heart racing. The shock triggered something in her before she could control it. The sudden noise made her jump, causing her guitar to fall from her hand. She tried desperately to control her breathing and play again but her sweat-slicked hands shook enough for the neck to slip from her grip. The cigarette smoke hanging in the air seemed to choke her. Her rapid breathing made her lungs burn as she inhaled more and more in an attempt to calm down.

She was unsure if she was pulled or if she had fallen of the stage but the sea of moving bodies soon swallowed her. Her arms felt useless as she clamoured away from the crowd that she was drowning in. Her guitar was pulled away from her but her fighting was useless as she screams were swallowed by the deafening noise. Waves of nausea hit her as pungent breath and beer stink were thrust upon her. Her mind felt detached from her body as she weaves her way through the people. Elbows jolted into her ribs and people stood on her feet. Falling out of the backstage door, her trembling knees gave out and she threw up.

The cold air pierced her face, like tiny razor sharp needles pressing through her skin. Sweat poured down her face like a river. The numbing cold pavement pressed into her hands and knees, the pins and needles battling for dominance over the cold. Her body lurched until all she could do was spit and cough, dry heaving occasionally as vomit burned her throat and her nose streamed. Shuddering, she crawled on her shaky limbs to as far away from her vomit as she could get.

Holding her knees, she wiped the few tears that had fallen from her cheeks. The taste stayed on her tongue and made her wince whenever she swallowed on her dry sobs. She was too tired to actually cry, but her body seemed to be happy hiccuping and choking. Her breath would catch in her throat, the taste bubbling up her throat again and she then had to resist the burning urge to break down and cry. She may have broken down and vomited in public but that didn’t mean she couldn’t keep at least a shred of dignity. She most definitely would not cry, no matter what her mind begged her to do. The only sound was the little spluttering chokes and sobs she released.

Until there was a sudden scuffle against the pavement and a harsh whisper of “Oh Fuck.”. Y/N’s head snapped up from her knees.

There was John Lennon, looking like a very disturbed deer caught in the headlights. One of his hands was on the door, which he had fallen into thus revealing his presence, and the other cradled a half drunken beer. There was a cigarette butted out against the floor opposite Y/N.

A wide-eyed grimace painted his face as he stood in silence. His eyes were connected with hers. She had makeup, sweat and snot smeared on her face. She looked so small and cold, sweaty and shivering despite her burning skin. The sheer look of absolute repulse on his face was what made her brain snap.

The loud, strained sobs interrupted with her shallow gasps for breath made John wince. He was frozen by the door, as if he was rooted to the very spot. He dropped the door handle. The soft thunk was barely audible over her sobs.

She willed more than anything for him to leave. He had no doubt seen her throw up all over the road and had heard her sporadic attempt at breathing. He would never let her live this down so she mentally begged him to just open the door without another glance and go tell Paul and Pete everything that had just happened. She didn’t need any mocking sympathy from him. Why couldn’t he just laugh and leave? Why of all people did he have to be outside having a smoke?

Her mental begging didn’t work. John hovered by the door for a few moments. He didn’t know what to do. He’d seen girls cry before, but never such a strong one like Y/N. She was usually so sharp and cold and independent. It pained something deep inside of him to see her so vulnerable.

Her sobs hit him especially. On once in his life, John Lennon didn’t know what to do or say. He decided that the only thing he knew would be better than anything. He shuffled over, hesitating before sitting in front of her. The sheer pain on her face he caught as her head lifted ever so slightly made his heat clench. He wasn’t used to this and was quite confused as to why he cared so much. Normally, he would have just opened the door and left, but seeing her so broken wasn’t something he could ignore.

“Fuck off John.” She choked out, straining her voice. John couldn’t help but smile. Of course you would still defend yourself, even in this state.

“I’m afraid I won’t.” He doesn’t want to leave. Even if you leave, he’d refuse to let you be alone until he knew you were ok.

Words form on his tongue but none of them seem right. A few minutes of silence had passed and John knew he had to speak. His eyes burning holes into the side of her head probably wasn’t helping. He quickly spat out the first sentence he thought of.

“What happened to you?” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. She looked at him, dark eyes narrowed.

“Why do you care?” She spat at him, curling into herself even more.

“I care because whilst you may hate me, nobody deserves to be alone when they’re distressed. Especially not you.” He paused for a moment. He was shocked by the sentiment that had fallen from his lips. Her eyes widened in shock for a moment but she rolled them obviously.

“You are not getting in my pants, Lennon. No matter how many cheesy sympathy lines you drop.” Y/N sniffed and snatched the beer from in front of him. She swished out her mouth and spat it out through her teeth. She shoved the beer back in his hand and raised her eyebrows, gesturing to the door. “Just go on and get some other bird to shag. I bet you’ll have no problem finding one.”

Despite her stubbornness, John refused to give in. There was something seriously the matter. Despite his other attitudes, he couldn’t let this slide. So he awkwardly just stared her dead in the eye and shook his head as she continued to gesture to the door.

“You’re right. I would have no problem getting a shag tonight. But leaving you here isn’t right, no matter how long it takes. I’m going to sit here until you tell me what’s wrong and how to help. Even if I die trying.”

She snorted at his attempt to lighten the mood and let a small smile creep onto her face. He grinned at her smile. It made Y/N realise that maybe he wasn’t as much of a pig as she’d thought.

“Can’t have you dying, Lennon. Your replacement would no doubt be much worse.” Her voice was hoarse and weak but her light joke was like music to his ears. “And I really can’t tell you what happened to me.” John frowned. “I can’t tell you because I don’t even know what happened. I just get these things sometimes. It feels like I’ve lost control of everything and sometimes it feels like I’m about to die. Like just before.” Her voice broke and her face dropped, her own words upsetting her. Tears pooled in her eyes. The sudden change of mood forced John to make an irrational decision. He shot forward before she could encase herself in her own arms again. His arms held her tight. He knew that despite how awkward everything would be later, this was the right thing to do.

He rocked her against him. Tears streamed down her cheeks uncontrollably and John brushed them away softly. He rubbed circles into her back, hoping it would soothe her sobs. He relaxed and knew he was helping when he felt her sink and cuddle closer into his chest. Her arms went under his jacket and she breathed in the oddly comforting scent of John.

“It’s alright, love, just relax.” John muttered, holding her closer. She sniveled and rested her head just above his heart. The soft thumps timed with the rise and fall of his chest lulled her tears into drying. He continued to rub circles into her back and he began to hum one of his songs. She recognised the tune. It was ‘In Spite of All the Danger’. Y/N closed her eyes. She decided she’d listen this time.

[ame77lala]

she brought her 1st time freshly baked bread from her favorite bakery on her way back to home, after training

she ate it and commented "what is this?!" and she cant stop due to the bread is delicious

yeaaa! CANNONBALL RUNNING is released!

(have you brought the album? if not please do so, it really worth it!!)

1st time she releases with 17 songs in this album, full of energetic songs, she repeats this many times, as she recommended us to listen when we are down or feeling mentally/physically tired (it really does help XD)

also, she is very busy during the week of release due to many radio program

the photo with red clothing is at Royal Expo Building is a World Heritage Site

she is glad they allow her to do photo shooting

while the 2nd photo is farm area that is 1hr drive from the city (lol she imagine herself as a bird ^^;;)

this is special CANNONBALL RUNNING Nicolive (they also live on Youtube) supported by animelo mix

Takeshi Washizaki as MC

during the show she must do training while explaining each song from album ^^;;; she never thought it will be this difficult XD

also, mishima shock her that he shows is lack of exercise ^^;;; (time to ask your boss to go exercise together nana XD)

she thanks the people who help her run for her while explaining the song ^^;;;

Sakiko Uran shows her early christmas tree, a fir tree is very thick and macho? (nana do you always think about muscle? lol)  ornaments in green and blue (she commented kawaii) nana said she wants to decorate a big tree someday (for now she got the tiny tree XD) she also gets to eat Uran’s Christmas special home cooking everything is delicious which also power her up XD

on the title are many running programs!! (yea she trying to make a pun there ^^;;) "Music Buzz" and "Edison" two of the live radio broadcast for  Music Buzz she explains about her new album then off-topic she about her seiyuu works and about food ^^;; (most likely she either talk about food or exercise other than seiyuu ^^;;;) for Edison is her 1st time joining them she couldnt catch the quick question ^^;;; but she enjoyed listening to their talk XD  then she thanked her fans for listening to radio XD the photo is from NHK and manage to meet a giant poster of herself and took it when she in moving car XD

the  carpaccio of yellowtail she tasted from last month dinner party from her sensei cooking class, she tried remaking it due is delicious XD she trying hard at home imaging/remember how it tastes like/look like olive oil, salt, black pepper, on top of the yellowtail was seasoned with white balsamic, cut tomatoes (ok now i m hungry...) she explains this during music buzz radio homemade shungiku (Crown daisy) paste added  and finishing touch on this dish

she is late blogging this but thanks to people who help out for her live/concert and her fan club and Tateishi-san the SC NANA NET president they celebrate his birthday with a birthday party they played this https://japangameguide.com/2018/09/21/hannin-wa-odoru-%E7%8A%AF%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AF%E8%B8%8A%E3%82%8B/ and nana is known to be bad lier ^^;; but somehow she manages to escape as the criminal during 1st round and also mishima during last round ^^;;;;

ahh and also this party is during the launch of “CANNONBALL RUNNING” (thats why the nicolive is on the day after)

she went to watch the musical called West Side Story due to her 2 ototo label mates are in this show (referring to mamo and aoi shouta) performing with all the strength while fighting the pressure that plays an important role in historical works If you do your best in the way you do! ! (she is a very good senpai XD)

ok off blog topic, but from nicolive she states that next season (winter and spring(?)) didnt have any seiyuu work-related at all and also design planning for live runner already set and setlist also going to finish (by now already done and submitted for making re-arrangement by cherry boys) so now nana is pretty free till maybe next year? XD

[asterinjapan]

KOKIA at billboard live Osaka [2019.10.19], first stage review

Good evening! I just back from Osaka, with the main reason being KOKIA’s performance ‘Go back in time’ at billboard live Osaka! I was lucky enough to be able to attend the first out of two performances today, so below follows my review.

Before the link, here’s the set list:

Tsugi au toki wa (‘next time we meet’) give & take dandelion Fever Family Tree Lacrima Sekai no owari ni (‘at the end of the world’) Remember the kiss Everytime we say goodbye

Piano: Souta Seta Guitar: Daisuke Takagi

Also, I’m a big KOKIA fan, so the review below probably just reads as gushing, sorry (not sorry) about that.

Billboard live Osaka seats you at a table, at which you can order food and drinks, so the atmosphere is a little more casual. I mention this because KOKIA did too, haha. Anyway, once Seta and Takagi had seated themselves, KOKIA came in herself, starting right away with some very long notes that I didn’t immediately recognize. She explained the theme of tonight: Go back in time, so going back to songs from five, ten, fifteen or twenty years ago. As such, she branched into asking the audience in which age category they belonged. I think I saw hands rising from every category from teens to above 60, just to show that KOKIA does have fans of all ages, haha.

She then continued into the song she had already started: Tsugi au toki wa (‘next time we meet’), which is indeed from way back, appearing on her 2002 album ‘trip trip’. Now she has actually sung this live back in 2015 too, but it was great to hear it again, coming in with a lot of force and longer tones that definitely weren’t in the original. It really showed how much her voice has matured and evolved.

Next up was a song I did actually recognize right away: give & take. I realized I could sing along to most of the lyrics actually, even though this song is from 2004. I’ve always thought it was a cute song, and that’s also how KOKIA sang it today: cute, sweet, and the lights moved along to set the mood. At times, when her voice was almost a capella, the lights dimmed almost all the way; and at the bridge, suddenly a silver disco ball lit up and span through the room, haha. What a nice surprise this song was! I had really no idea what to expect, since she could have easily gone back to the old favourites, but no, she did in fact pick songs that haven’t shown up in a while.

She had a little chat in between, asking who came here from Osaka today and who came from, ehm, elsewhere. Yeah, elsewhere covers it in my case, haha. She then referred back to the question about ages, mentioning how she herself took some major steps in her twenties, eventually going independent and traveling the whole country. She refers to this tour as ‘spreading the seeds of her music’, kind of like when you blow a dandelion and send its seeds flying. And what a coincidence, she has a song called dandelion! I was really happy, because when I first became a fan of KOKIA, there wasn’t a lot of footage going around and she didn’t have as many albums out yet. But there was an unplugged version of dandelion, which I watched many, many times. I have never heard this song live before though, as the single is from 2005 (when KOKIA was indeed in her late 20s). It’s so cheerful and fun, I was tempted to sing along, and we actually could! She made us practice and then sing the same line along with Takagi so often that he was starting to end the song before KOKIA let him, so she whirled her finger to get the music back up in volume, haha. KOKIA’s ‘lalala’s in this song were sweet and gentle, but the rest of the song had a lot of power.

After this, KOKIA mentioned how it was still rather hot in here, in which she did have a point. She then mentioned that billboard had a bit of a jazz feeling, and that she just had her new cover album out (‘Watching from Above vol. 2) with jazz covers, so naturally…

That all came together in Fever, a cover song, which I definitely know because my parents are huge Elvis Presley fans, but KOKIA gave it her own twists. I swear she meowed like a cat in the beginning, and she added some really long notes that I certainly didn’t recognize from either version of the song I was familiar to (Elvis or Peggy Lee). She’d slowed the song down a little and made the fever feel rather languid, aaaand then Seta started uh, meowing? A very interesting version for sure, haha. I wonder if this is the way it sounds on the album… I do own it now, but I have no means of playing it yet. Soon!

After that fun surprise, KOKIA launched into a song that was fairly recent, from 2015, but no less impressive: Family tree, from her album I Found You. She sung it before when she was promoting the album in 2015, but whoa, this was so powerful I was almost starting to fear the sound boxes would collapse. KOKIA’s voice filled the entire room, and the lights started to glow brighter and brighter, with behind her the vague outlines of a tree forming. This was amazing, I really loved it. In between songs, I took quick notes about every song on a napkin since I’d forgotten my notebook, and all I have here is ‘POWER’ scribbled furiously in all caps, haha.

After chatting for a bit about the relaxed atmosphere here and getting hungry and thirsty from the meals going around, KOKIA sat down on a stool and turned serious. She mentioned how, in preparing today’s setlist, she went back in time to songs from happy times, but also tough times. She was audibly getting emotional here (and she has indeed been through quite a lot over the years she’s been in the spotlights), but she held herself together beautifully as she started a song that she hoped would gently blow towards anyone who needs it: Lacrima. This song came out in 2008, when I was a recent fan and her album ‘the VOICE’ was the first I could count down to. It’s not a song I’ve put on often by itself, but I suspect that might change, because this version hit me really hard. KOKIA sang it softly, tenderly, keeping it small except once or twice when the song called for it, and mostly harmonized with just the piano. What a wonderful sweet song it was, wow.

After that, KOKIA got up and launched into the next song: Sekai no owari ni (‘at the end of the world’). If that title sounds dramatic, well, this performance was dramatically amazing. It was so heartfelt, it really felt like KOKIA was just letting everything out now that had led to Lacrima, giving this song power and a slight rawness that had me swallowing quite a bit. Wow. I already really love this song and I was very happy to have heard it live before, but this performance just blew me away.

We were nearing the end already, but not before KOKIA sang one of her personal favourites: Remember the kiss. It was a song she had shared with everyone over the world, letting them sing along to the lines ‘these lips were meant to sing a song of love’. One performance immediately comes to mind; the 2007 Bataclan performance, which was the only live registration of KOKIA I could find online back when I first became a fan, and I had immediately latched onto this song. So in a lot of ways, today’s concert was going back in time for me too, hence the personal notes in this report.  KOKIA had given it a new intro, repeating the line ‘remember the kiss’ followed by a long note, and here my notes just melted into an incoherent ‘aaaaa’, haha. I was very, very happy to hear this song, it was absolutely wonderful and I was getting rather emotional here.

Alas, it was time to part ways already! And so KOKIA appropriately sang Everytime we say goodbye, a jazz song she covered on her previous Watching from Above album. She was accompanied by piano and started small, but wow, this song also got the power treatment, it was lovely. She couldn’t resist waving a cute little ‘goodbye’ every time the title came up, haha.

And unfortunately, that was indeed the end of the performance! Of course, KOKIA would have to perform again later in the evening, but time had really flown by.

Luckily, the venue was small enough to allow for an autograph session, so I quickly lined up to get my copy of Watching from Above volume 2 signed. KOKIA seemed very surprised but happy to see me here, and we exchanged thank yous as she signed my copy. To the question whether she might come to Europe again, she answered it might be difficult, but Paris might be an option. So no promises, but who knows!

 And that concludes my absolutely subjective but very happy review of KOKIA’s performance today. It’s always a blessing to be able to experience her live, as even the live recorded album came out this year can’t quite convey the power she exhales live, wow. She truly is amazing, and I’m glad she’s had so many years to look back on already. KOKIA, here’s to many more in good health and happiness, and thank you so much for this wonderful experience!

[pkmntrainergreyze]

April 27th (Patrick Stump Imagine)

For mah boi Patrick, happy April 27.

---------------------------

This particular concert popped Patrick's bubble of personal tranquility. Not because it was timed exactly at his date of birth, rather, it's the guests who came.

Concerts usually put Patrick into a calm state. First, people wondered how he managed to do so, but the longer fans watch his shows, the more they realized how he seems to pretend the crowd's an unanimated flower meadow.

It wasn't a shocker. He admitted to having a twinge of stage fright at the beginning which best explains why Pete's the frontman. He rarely let the crowd sing for themselves, entertain their requests and most importantly he never once prolonged a two-second eye contact. Of course, the critics weren't pleased but there was only little the band could do to help since improvement depends on the person himself. So the three allowed the blonde to perform interaction-less for three albums.

April 27th is a date for one of their shows. Everyone on stage was splotched with heavy sweat, most of which glossed their faces and pricked their eyes. Good thing they considered it not a hindrance for the fifth song on the setlist: Sugar, We're Going Down...

Andy initiated the song using his beats, soon followed Pete then Joe. While they busied hyping the crowd Patrick stomped his feet and clapped his hands.

"...Am I more than you bargained for yet?"

His voice resonated inside the venue like it was his for the taking. The crowd cheered and flopped their arms up in the air, allowing themselves to be conquered by the music, but the blue-eyed man dared not to stare at the wondrous effects of his actions. Strange how the voice of the king belonged to a shy guy.

The opposite was said for one of the audience, (Y/n) (L/n). She only discovered them a month ago after her best friend handpicked a record. The cover only depicted four men sitting down but she opted it had an ineffable aura and bought it.

Although she's a recent fan, that didn't stop her from screeching and flailing around nonstop. When she heard the transition for Sugar she immediately shook her friend Brendon's shoulder into a smoothie. Fortunately, before the brunette could mutter a glimpse of a complaint, Patrick sang the first line and began seizing like her.

If it wasn't obvious, (Y/n) couldn't take her eyes off the lead singer, and it's not because singers are placed in the middle. She's scared to admit, but the reason she bought the record is that his seafoam eyes drowned her in.

Sadly, those ocean orbs never stared back to anyone.

As the song reached its last chorus, the crowd got predominantly louder. At first (Y/n) thought it was because Pete licked his bass, but it was for a different reason.

Let's be honest, it wasn't her fault she didn't know. But it sure felt embarrassing as hell, seeing banners and face cutouts for Patrick's birthday.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK!!" The front row yelled spontaneously, then the lower box, upper, until it reached gen ad. The masses displayed all their love and affection, so Patrick couldn't help but smile and shrug sheepishly. He appreciates the gesture, unlike Pete however, he doesn't know how to act in this situation.

On the other hand, (Y/n) looked at her friend in disappointment, as if saying they could've made something for him like the others. It's a good thing that instead of moping, they'd rather scream their love from the top of their lungs in unison, and they decided it was the right time to do so when the noise was about to settle down.

"I LOVE YOU!!"

Patrick flinched so hard it nearly cost him a neck fracture. That voice was so familiar it blocked out all others. When he found what might be the source of the yell, time halted.

The stunning hair and soul-penetrating eyes definitely brought more life to such an exquisite sound. She flooded Patrick with both pleasure and sadness at once. He was almost sure it'll leave a bitter aftertaste.

She looks much like (N/n).

(N/n) was Patrick's biggest love whom he admired at school. She had his heart ever since she helped him create a sand castle back in kindergarten and nurtured his feelings as time flew by. Everyone knew this except the girl herself, which made things a bit more complicated. His feelings were so strong to the point it's used for blackmail. It's a shameful example but when he was at the age of nine he still drank milk from a sippy cup. He wouldn't budge and none of his parent's attempts worked until they threatened him that they'll snitch and tell (N/n). He stopped in fear of lowering the way she thought of him after. When he told the story, the band laughed. Even Andy, who's usually empathetic, wheezed and labeled him a lovesick idiot.

Fate, however, made things worse as he had to move places and leave both Chicago and her alone. But his feelings for her never faltered, in fact, it proved the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder. His devotion earned him some snarky remark and failed blind dates. He just couldn't help but compare them to the one everytime. Good thing his bandmates respected his decision to take a break from dating.

Now, nearly a decade later they locked eyes, making (Y/n) the first audience Patrick truly acknowledged and wished to impress.

His breath hitched and hers did too. Holy Smokes he was nervous.

A strange aura connected them the minute she got a clear picture of his face. She was puzzled instantly, she couldn't differentiate whether it's oh nostalgia or she's just starstruck-ed.

It didn't matter at the moment, because they've been snared by each other's eyes.

Oh God Patrick! Breathe in, breathe out!

Joe was the first one who caught up, having to nudge him back to reality and Brendon had to check (Y/n) if she needed water.

"Hey (Y/n), dude you okay?" He asked causing her to cackle "I-I literally made eye contact with Patrick Stump how am I fine??"

He chuckled "Good point"

He looked back on stage and caught a glimpse of Patrick staring at his friend before quickly turning away "Man, this guy gets the best surprise parties. Meanwhile I didn't even got a fanfic written for my birthday"

(a/n: sorry bren)

For the rest of the concert, the lead couldn't take his eyes off of her, at least he tried for three songs before he completely lost control. She's simply irresistible. And, breathtaking. Literally

But she's also accompanied by an equally handsome boy. The fact tempered his spirits, especially when the stranger wrapped his arm around her. Why wasn't it him instead?

Oh, because he had to move out.

By the end of the show, Patrick had been dead set on finding the "(N/n) lookalike" and dashed to the exit before anyone else.

He coasted through the group of fans. Once he was in an acceptable distance to yell her name, he was dogged tired.

Brendon inserted his car keys and (Y/n) placed her head against the Chevrolet's window with both eyes closed.

"(N/n)!!"

She looked up and the two gawked as they saw Patrick Stumph waltz towards them.

She furrowed her eyebrows, tired and dazed. His speaking voice is as angelic as his singing voice.

"How did you know my name?" She asked sedately, unlike on the inside, she's screaming questions like the aforementioned and some about how unpredictably calm she is 4ft away from him.

He smiled sadly.

"I... just heard it from when you were talking earlier— not that I eavesdropped I just happen to walk by!... Umm, God, I sound like a creep"

She giggled and his heart surged up his throat. She didn't expect a conversation with one of the band members would be so calm, especially seeing how wild they perform, and he didn't expect her not to "remember" him either. So in his logic, it's kind of a tie.

"Happy birthday by the way" She greeted. Patrick grinned and tipped his hat "Thanks"

"Is there anything we can help you with?" Her friend asked.

"Yeah" The blonde nodded his head "D-Do you guys wanna come with us in (restaurant name)? We're celebrating my birthday there since it's been a while since I been in Chicago and thought the more the merrier..."

'Really Patrick? That's your excuse?' He shrugged off his internal monologue

Although (Y/n) is sick of eating pizza daily in that place she couldn't help but accept the second he invited her.

He glanced up "Your boyfriend can come too if you'd like"

The boy laughs "Sure, but I'm not her boyfriend. My name's Brendon,"

He shook his hand and gave a genuine smile. Patrick wanted to do a victory dance on the spot so bad

"Great!" Patrick clapped. "Not great as in you're-not-in-a-relationship great. The I'm-glad-you-guys are coming great, I mean" he flushed

Brendon raised an eyebrow but laughed anyway.

"We'll pick you guys at 7" Patrick muttered and left. The time was 6:44 so they have to wait for about 6 minutes.

The two friends leaned on the van, left alone. It was silent for a while before her friend began to talk.

"When was the last time people called you (N/n)? I haven't heard anyone called you that at all..."

"They use to back in high school, but only people who are super close to me get to say that without getting kicked where the sun don't shine"

"So that means...?"

She sighed and finger combed her hair.

"He was the one that got away"