#so fucking what? it doesn't affect any of them! I wish they'd just stop commenting on it but they don't.

[running-in-the-dark]

kinda disappointed with how this weekend went. I mean, it wasn't bad! but it was our first weekend in the new apartment, and I/we wanted to get a lot done. I already did a lot during the week (a lot for me, not a lot for most people I guess), but there's lots of things that I can't do/can't do on my own, either because I'm too short or not strong enough or I need someone else to hold something or whatever. which realistically just won't get done during the week because my husband works full time, so. it sort of sucks that only one very small, unimportant thing got done. 😔

[spacelazarwolf]

I really hate how often neo ra/df/ems will go on and on about how trans fem's transitions are waaaaaay more difficult and they're waaaaaay less likely to pass, but if a trans masc dared to make any similar comparisons, they'd be fucking crucified.

There are a lot of feelings I have around sex-based discrimination and the difficulties of a masculinizing transition. On one hand, I don't think comparing struggles like that is useful (i.e. trans women have harder transitions).

On the other hand, I feel like the reality of the situation is actually quite the opposite for many people (everyone acknowledges that testosterone makes your voice drop and you grow hair, but nobody seems to want to acknowledge hysterectomy vs orchi, voice training is still often needed, electrolysis for phallo, the fact that bottom surgery is usually multi-staged [even metoidioplasty is sometimes 2 stages] with a lot of moving parts and far worse scarring, top surgery is almost a necessity for passing whereas not every trans fem wants top surgery + scars are easier to hide, face masculinization is far less common w/ fewer options, puberty begins earlier in perisex people AFAB and puberty blockers don't always allow for full height to be achieved bc they don't typically allow you to start testosterone until you're about 15 even IF you were a "classic" trans-since-3-years-old kinda case, the extreme body horror that is accidental pregnancy and abortion and menstruation when that's dysphoric vs not being able to carry a pregnancy just feels like an insulting comparison sometimes and I've had multiple trans women call me inconsiderate for expressing horror at getting my bodily rights taken away bc "that triggers my dysphoria", testosterone is a scheduled substance and has more difficult administration methods than simply a pill, etc.)

And so I bite my tongue and try to be the better person, because stooping to that low doesn't help anything. But at the same time it's so extremely frustrating to be told that you "have it better" when, considering the facts, it REALLY feels like the opposite. There's this level of bitterness around that that I am DESPERATELY trying to resolve within myself. I have a therapist. I know it's projection. I'm working on my own bullshit. But please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way? I just wish they'd stop with that rhetoric and realize just how difficult the average trans masc transition truly is

yeah it's really frustrating for ppl to present Trans Women's Experiences and Trans Men's Experiences as diametrically opposed, with one experience being Eternal Pain And Inescapable Suffering and the other being Barely A Blip On The Life Radar. and while i understand it's coming from a place of pain, i've also experienced a lot of trans women shutting me down when i try to talk about how abortion rights affect me. back when i was first dipping my toe into trans spaces, i was friends with a trans woman who told me it was transmisogynistic of me to want to transition because "trans women would kill to have been born in your body." and while it absolutely comes from a different place than when cis men try to assert control over me and there's not the same power dynamic, it's still a complete stranger feeling entitled to tell me what to do with my body because of the sex i was assigned at birth. it's frustrating to have people i'm supposed to be in community with play into the same sexist bullshit that other people, regardless of gender, have been holding over my head my whole life, feeling like they own my body bc women and ppl who are forcibly assigned the role of women in society are seen as public property. our bodies aren't our own. everyone feels entitled to comment on them and touch them and make decisions about them. and it sucks when it comes from other people who should understand how that feels.

and like. obviously this idea that trans men's transition is so much easier than trans women's is unhelpful bc 1. there is no one particular way for trans men to transition, 2. not everyone who transitions in the way typically associated with trans men is a trans man, 3. it doesn't take into account how disability, race, ethnicity, etc. play into people's experiences before, during, and after transition, and 4. it's just not a fucking competition????? the fact that a disabled black trans man is going to be more systemically oppressed in society than a wealthy white trans woman doesn't mean trans men as a category are Objectively More Oppressed than trans women. bc gender is like. the worst possible way to try to gauge a group's place within the system. bc at this point, gender is not the most powerful system, race is. and i feel like a fuck ton of people really do not recognize that.

another thing that has bugged me for as long as i've been in trans spaces is this bizarre attitude that trans women are doomed to this miserable life of clockability and will never be able to pass as cis women thus they must accept that their life will be nothing but pain and suffering. and that's just very much not true! i know plenty of trans women who "pass" or who are happy with their bodies, who have jobs they love and friends and family who love them, who have a community that supports and celebrates them. and it has just always rubbed me the wrong way that people think they're helping trans women by presenting their existence as Inevitably Miserable when all it does is terrify closeted trans girls who think they're better off never coming out or transitioning, or better off dying. like. we have to understand that these narratives we create, the idea of the perpetually suffering trans woman and the lonely isolated trans man, are absolutely driving people to suicidal ideation. and if we give a shit about trans people, we should be changing these narratives.

[poisonouswritings]

I'm sorry to bother you but I've had this thought for quite a while and my ADHD brain won't shut up about it 😂😅

So imagine a scenario where mc is going on a date with Sage at the tarven and while they are waiting for him to get drinks, someone comes across to them and claims They were one of...ahem..."sage's exe".

Anyway they say they heard a rumor that Sage has got a partner and they didn't believe it but hey here's the so called partner

They start to talk shit to mc about sage will leave and it's just a phase and he'll get bored soon and won't see him again and they should leave this job for them I mean they were able to make him have a good time they can do it again

By the time sage comes he hears some of this pity conversation. He starts to yell at the ex and they don't seem unnerved and go "what? Can't your little puppy stand for themselves?" That's when mc snaps and punishes the exe in the face so hard it knocks em down on the floor (probably breaks their nose)

Sage's like damn I mean he doesn't expect his calm and reasonable mc to go violent. It's a new side of them -it's kinda hot-

Mc takes his hand and gets him out of the tarven. Sage is apologizing and blaming himself for ruining the night that's when mc cuts him "it'll take more than some pity ex for you to get rid of me, your past doesn't identify and it won't be the reason I'll never see your smile again, besides after tonight I doubt that any of your exes will ever bother us again"

Sorry for my English 😅

Your English is great! And I love this idea

You're just,, sitting there,,, trying to tune this person out. Unfortunately their voice is grating and sharp. Maybe you really are being affected by it all, each cruel dig and comment knocking you down a little further, a little further, and what the hell did you do to deserve this anyways? Or maybe you couldn't give the slightest damn what this person thinks but you do wish they'd stop trying to harsh your vibes. 'oh he'll get tired of you you should just let me have him' please this man is so fucking clingy and in love with you that he literally starts pouting if you don't smooch the top of his head before you go to sleep

like

Chill.

'Sage could have anyone he wants,' the ex is saying, 'so why in seven hells do you think he'd want you? You could never satisfy him-'

Sage has come up from behind. He slams the mugs of alcohol on the table so hard that ale sloshes over his fingers. But he doesn't even seem to notice as he starts ripping into his ex. And while they're arguing (some of it in a language you don't even understand), you're just,, vibing. Watching. You pick up one of the mugs and have a sip. Sage is livid and his eyes are flickering red but he doesn't seem to be a danger yet. You oughta keep an eye on it though.

And then the ex looks at you. Sneers. Asks Sage if the little puppy doesn't have their own bite.

...

Alright. You take a swig from your drink. It goes down smooth. Sage remembered to get ice for you. He's sweet like that.

You get to your feet. Crack your knuckles. Tap the ex on the shoulder. Smile. Pop them in the face, same way you did to Sage all that time ago. You feel the telltale snap! under your fist as the ex goes toppling to the floor.

Nice.

Sage is a little,, he's a little,,, he's a little turned on. I'm sorry. He is. He's just Like That. But he's a little flustered too, not in the good way. Not entirely anyways.

You grab his hand and drag him outside because you could both use the air. He laces his fingers with yours and as soon as the cold night air hits your face he's apologizing; for letting the argument carry on so long, letting it happen at all, leaving you alone to get the drinks, knowing that person to begin with,, he knows he has a particular history, and gods he doesn't want that to become your problem. And maybe he's wondering to himself just how much 'history' there is. How much you'll have to deal with. And while he still isn't really 'ashamed' persay, he does feel for the first time as if he brings far more baggage than you should have to deal with.

You hug him fiercely and kiss his forehead. That gets him to stop talking for a moment.

Give him a little,,, little scratch behind his ears,,,, he's being such a silly little kitty. You don't care about his body count. He is so so so much more than that, and you absolutely adore him. There's nothing that anyone can say that would change that. And if anyone ever tries to bother you two again, you'll just kick their ass. Nothing to it :)

... Sage hugs you tightly, tail wrapping around your thigh. He just,, really really loves you. You're way too good to him. Who knows what he did to deserve you.