#so far he's just an idea though. haven't drawn him or written anything about him :'3

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Do you have any original characters kickin around?

I don't think so, unfortunately 💔 OCs are really cool, but I think the fact that I've been fixating on a band for almost a year rather than a work of fiction, combined with the fact that if I don't do anything with my OCs, they kinda just drift away from me and I forget about them is the reason for that :'3

[ovenmade]

9, 11, & 14!

YET ANOTHER MULTIMUSE QUESTIONNAIRE.  ACCEPTING!

9. For canon characters, tell what drew you to use a character to make them a muse? Any of your choice.

I'll just talk a little about all of them! Strawberry Crepe was an easy choice for me. The moment I have a mess of lengthy, disorganized notes on my phone and a handful of Google docs filled with ideas and headcanons about a character, it's almost certain I'll be making a blog for them lol! Perhaps there is some familiarity with them and even Silverbell, as Strawberry Crepe has some shades of Sora Shiun'in while Silverbell has hints of III / Michael Arclight, but they're still very much different characters and certainly can't be treated as the same. Though now that we're talking about Silverbell, I honestly ended up picking him up pretty quickly because he just instantly appealed to me haha. I loved nearly everything about Secrets of the Silver Kingdom update, especially the culture and mythos of the faeries ( and of course the beasts ), and I will absolutely be expanding it with my own lore and such! I hope we get to revisit the faeries at some point. Red Velvet and Stardust both kinda fall in the same category — I love both of them as characters and enjoy their stories, but I've never quite written muses like either of them before. I've always wanted to broaden my horizons and try new types of characters, and Cookie Run gives me that chance in a way that other fandoms I'm in don't seem to. I'm not exactly confident in my portrayals of them yet, which is why Red Velvet and Stardust are currently labeled tertiary, but I actually do have a lot of thoughts and feelings about both of them! Eternal Sugar and Peach Blossom was purely because of aesthetic. Now that we actually have the story of Peach Blossom, which did not satisfy me simply for my bias of wanting him to be more important / involved ( especially considering his character inspiration ), it's more because of the potential I see in him. I feel a lot more can be done with Peach Blossom, and I very much plan on developing him further and having fun while I'm at it! As for Eternal Sugar, I'm very much looking forward to their debut episode ( whenever it comes ) and learning about how they became corrupted. I have a feeling all the beasts have a similar setup to Mystic Flour ( in that they didn't become 'evil' for the sake of being evil — there was a cause, a reason, an epiphany of some sort. ) My portrayal will probably stray away from canon to some degree because I already have a few personal headcanons for them, but to be honest, all my portrayals here are headcanon-based on some level or another. Some more than others, but my point still stands!

11. Have you ever drew any of your muses, if so can you show a drawing?

As far as my Cookie Run muses go? I haven't yet and that's a crime! My art is still amateurish and I haven't drawn consistently enough to have improved very much, but I've been trying to revisit the basics and go forward from there more recently, jotting down ideas for when I feel my skills are a bit better. That said, there isn't really anything worthy to show off really unless you want to see a bunch of studies lmao, but here's some of my old art anyways! Again, far from professional, but as Bob Ross says: "Talent is a pursued interest. Anything that you're willing to practice, you can do."

14. Which of your muses is the easiest to get along with? Which one is the hardest?

Out of the current roster, Peach Blossom is probably the easiest and Strawberry Crepe the hardest! Almost anyone could get along with Peach Blossom honestly. It's actually a little funny that he was in Dark Cacao's story, the cookie with the least trust for strangers ( though his distrust is understandable, especially with what he went through in Beast-Yeast. ) Strawberry Crepe being the hardest to bond with is also ironic, given that they are actually lonely and do desire the company of others ( despite acting like they don't. )

[midisdying]

Ok. Hear me out!

ME3 Sleep deprived MShepard shenanigans and very brief Mshenko.

I had this idea for a long time now and I need to let it out. I haven't written anything in a while so you will have to excuse me poor writing skills...

I just wanted some fluff ok?!

AND IF THERE ISN'T NONE I'LL MAKE IT MYSELF!

also Happy late N7 day ppl!

_________________________________

It wasn't unusual to see Commander Shepard hanging around random areas of the Normandy. Talking to his crew or just doing paper work.

When asked why he wouldn't make use of his personal quarters he'd say it helped him stay focused and awake. The only thing he'd skip over was the amount of time he'd actually stay awake for. Like the time while still working for Cerberus, Shepard had stayed awake for three days in a row (against the very sound medical advice of Dr. Chakwas) before the Normandy's first touchdown on Tuachanka.

Nevertheless, Shepard knew his limit and upon reaching it he would head back to his quarters for a few hours of rest before repeating the cycle.

So to say that finding their CO passed out at one of the mess hall tables was a bit of a surprise to some of the lower rank crew members of the Normandy would be an understatement.

"He's been out for a while now, hasn't he?" Garuss asked, joining the little circle of some of the oldest members of the Normandy crew that had gathered around the table occupied by Shepard's slumped body. Others either actively avoiding or sending curious glances towards the group.

"I guess even that abomination couldn't keep him up at this point. Swear I saw him adding three tablespoons of coffee into that thing last night.” Kaidan said while taking a long, disgusted look at the cup standing not too far from Shepard's face.

"Good thing then that he has all those cybernetics, otherwise his heart might’ve stopped. Again." Joker mentioned sitting at the opposite side of the table.

"Should we do anything? Like wake him up? I can't imagine that this is the most comfortable sleeping position for humans.” Tali spoke up, turning her head towards Liara who just came up behind her.

"I suppose we could, but we could also get some markers, or if we're feeling especially mean-"

"Not if we don't want to get a biotic throw to the face as soon as he wakes up, we don't." Kaidan swiftly interrupted whatever Joker was about to suggest.

"Yeah, you'd know something about that, right? Cause you know, you almost shot him."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" Kaidan looked back at Joker who was mildly amused by the major's irritation.

"Can we backtrack a bit? Why markers? What would we even do with them?" Garrus spoke up before the two could start anything else.

"I assume that Jeff and Major Alenko are talking about a form of a popular hazing prank done by humans in which the sleeping person, in most cases, has their face drawn on or covered with various usually viscous substances. Like toothpaste, soap, whipped cream, or glue.” Explained EDI.

There was a moment of silence where the non-human crew looked at eachother and then at the two awake humans in the room. Liara first broke the quiet atmosphere.

"That seems… incredibly childish."

"Yeah, it does." Garrus agreed then added "SO, where do we keep the markers?"

The asari turned her gaze towards the former C-Sec officer with a disappointed expression. "You can't be serious about this.”

"Come on, Liara, it'll boost morale." Garrus said trying to jokingly convince the asari into joining the mischief.

"Can we draw something nice, though?" asked Tali.

"You can draw whatever you want, Tali" Joker answered slowly standing up from the table.

"You're really going to let them do this, EDI?" Kaiden asked, making his voice a bit louder, even though he knew he didn't really need to.

"I am taking this as an opportunity to expand my knowledge on organic humor."

"Just no dicks, alright?" He said mainly looking at Joker in mild defeat.

For now Joker staggered over to the medbay to ask Dr. Chakwas about the markers, Tali and Garuss disappeared to ask about them in the crew’s quarters, and Liara went back to her room in search of something. Kaiden was left alone in the mess hall with his sleeping boyfriend.

He brought himself to sit in a chair closer to Shepard, looking over his relaxed form. It was a rare sight these days. Understandably, with what felt like the entire galaxy pushing down on the commanders shoulders. He slowly reached out to delicately caress Shapars cheek, to which he unconsciously leaned into the touch. Kaiden slightly startled that he accidentally woke up his lover retreated his hand but even after a minute of stillnes Shepard hasn't shifted. The only noticeable movement was his chest slightly rising and falling with every breath.

The major sat back for a moment taking in the sight before him then stood up taking the cup, containing the now cold, disgusting beverage, to dispose of it. He may love this man, but he definitely doesn't approve of his taste in coffee.

Three hours later Shepard woke up to a glass of water and a ration bar with a note from Kaidan, a blanket he saw laying on Liaras bed during one of their often talks, as well as a surprising amount of doodles on his face in blue, red, and black marker.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Reid My Lips - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - on the twelth and FINAL day of shipmas fortheloveofcriminalminds gave to me…Spencer x Reader Fluff! Hope you guys enjoyed them, I had a lot of fun writing these! Find my Shipmas masterlist here. Find my full masterlist here.

My taglists are open for Spencer x Reader and all works so let me know if you want to be added. Requests are also open.

Requested: Yes l No l Kind of ?

Idea came from @andiebeaword as I was struggling to come up with something that wasn't either angsty or smutty! - "What about one where they're dating, but haven't kissed yet, and every time reader tries, for some bizarre reason, Spencer keeps dodging them. reader thinks he's trying a subtle way to say he doesn't want to kiss when in reality, he just doesn't want reader to think he's a bad kisser" - Set circa s15, some spoilers for the last 2 episodes.

CW: none that I can think of! Just lusting after Spencer's lips. Some talks of Spencer's insecurites and lack of experience.

Plot: In which all the reader wants in the world is to feel Spencer's lips on hers.

WC: 2.4K

—————————————————————

Spencer Reid’s lips were the kind they would have written poetry about.

They were plump, sinfully so, the first time you’d met him several years ago when you joined the team it was the first thing you’d noticed about him. How it didn’t seem fair for him have had lips such as these bestowed upon him. He had the most kissable lips you’d ever seen in your life.

If you were a writer and not a profiler, you may well have tried to write a poem about them. But alas, a wordsmith you were not. So you had to make do with just staring at them every available opportunity you got.

When he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask you on a date after six years of working together you were thrilled to say the least. Finally, after all that time imaging what those lips would feel like, you might actually get to see for yourself.

For your first date Spencer took for you dinner at a fancy restaurant. Despite the fact you had known each other so long, the date was awkward.

Usually, you never struggled to find things to talk to Spencer about. Most of the time while the rest of the team were sleeping on the jet the two of you stayed up chatting aimlessly between you.

But somehow when the word date was used, it made everything uncomfortable between the two of you.

The night started as a long, drawn out silence but thankfully you both eased into it and by the time your main courses came you were able to chat a little more freely.

You’d had dinner together countless times over the years. But that was just as friends. Not as two people who were clearly attracted to one another even though deep down that’s what you’d always been.

Spencer walked you home after dinner. It was a mild night and you didn’t live too far from the restaurant so you thought the walk would be nice.

The first few blocks you fell back into that uncomfortable silence but thankfully you found your voices again.

Despite everything, you’d had a great time and you’d hoped Spencer had too.

As you stood awkwardly on the sidewalk outside your apartment you were desperate for him to kiss you. He wasn’t quite so shy and dorky as he had been when you first met so you’d thought he might make the first move.

He did not.

“Goodnight Y/N. I’ll see you Monday.” He offered you one of his shy waves.

No, this would not do. You’d been dreaming about those lips too long. It was time to do something about it.

You moved in close, your eyes closing as you neared his lips.

But what met your lips wasn’t his own. You felt prickly skin and your eyes shot open to see her had turned his head and your lips had landed on his stubble grazed face.

“Uhm…” you stepped back feeling incredibly uncomfortable. “Goodnight then I guess.”

You chalked it up to shyness. You guessed thirty plus years of insecurities couldn’t be washed away in a three month prison stint.

***

The next time an opportunity presented itself to steal a kiss from Spencer was a few weeks later.

You were out of town on a case and he’d invited you to his room to watch Doctor Who. You’d thought or maybe hoped it was just an excuse to get you alone in his room. You were surprised to say the least when he actually wanted to watch Doctor Who.

You sat side by side on his bed watching the small hotel TV. You dared to shuffle your hand closer until your fingers brushed and eventually you’d taken the plunge and entwined your fingers.

He didn’t seem to mind, he just gave your hand a firm squeeze as he held it.

About half way through the episode you decided to go for the kiss. You were desperate to feel those lips on yours and you hoped whatever awkwardness he felt on your date had since washed away.

You turned to face him, momentarily breathless at how beautiful he was.

“Spence,” you whispered prompting him to turn and face you.

He had a dopey half smile on those lips as he looked at you. You moved quickly, closing the space ready to feel those lips.

But once again you were met with his stubbly cheek.

You tried to tell yourself he was shy. That’s all it was. It’s not that he didn’t want to kiss you. It couldn’t be, right?

***

You’d started to think maybe Spencer had changed his mind about the two of you dating. It had been several weeks since your first date and although you’d been busy with back to back cases there had been time if he’d really wanted to take you out again.

It was nearly a month after your first date he finally asked you on a second. You’d jumped at the opportunity.

Spencer took you to the Smithsonian, you’d walked around hand in hand with Spencer telling you all kinds of facts and statistics the institution didn’t share.

You hung off his every word, mesmerised by the way his lips moved as he talked and wanting to feel them on yours with a white hot passion.

He took you for coffee after and you fell into comfortable conversation. But you couldn’t keep your eyes off those goddamn lips of his.

As you stepped out of the coffee shop hand in hand you made a quick move to place a chaste kiss on his lips as he was in the middle of telling you a story about his mom. You thought if you were fast enough he wouldn’t even see it coming and you could just get this awkward air out of the way.

You leant in fast, and as your lips were about to collide Spencer side stepped, turning to face the window of the coffee shop.

You stumbled, correcting yourself before you fell face first on the sidewalk.

“I didn’t know they had donuts! Now I want a donut.” He chuckled and suddenly he was heading back inside.

“Goddamnit Spencer.” You groaned under your breath.

By now you were starting to think he just didn’t like you. Why else would he keep dodging your attempts at kissing him?

You felt downtrodden. You felt insecure. Why on Earth had he asked you out if he didn’t want to kiss you?

***

Six dates in and all you’d done still was hold hands. You really didn’t get him. He kept asking you out but never seemed interested in doing anything other than hand holding.

You liked Spencer, a lot, but you were not willing to be in a relationship where there was no kind of intimacy.

But that was all pushed to the back of your mind when you and JJ found Spencer passed out in his apartment.

He’d been involved in an explosion thanks to the psychopath Everett Lynch. He was late for work the following day which was really unlike Spencer so you and JJ went to check on him. That’s when you’d found him.

While the rest of the team worked on finding Lynch, you stayed vigil at his bedside.

When he’d finally woken up tears streamed down your face and you’d be up like a shot.

“Oh my god Spence,” you sobbed. “I thought I was going to lose you.” You leant in to kiss his chapped lips.

He rolled his head to the side on the pillow, once again your lips meeting stubbly skin.

“I’m really thirsty.” He croaked, seemingly ignoring your actions.

You swallowed your pride with a sigh.

“I’ll get you some water Spence.” And with your tail between your legs you left the room in search of hydration.

***

After that you’d decided no more. You were fed up feeling a fool every time you tried to make a move on him only to be shot down.

So you decided you wouldn’t bother anymore.

Since he left hospital the two of you still hung out but it was less frequent as usual and the word date was never used again.

One night, it came to a head.

You were in Spencer’s apartment watching some foreign film which you were struggling to comprehend despite the subtitles.

Your mind was whirring, lost down a rabbit hole of thoughts of you and Spencer. You were so preoccupied in your own head you didn’t even notice when Spencer scooted closer to you or put his arm around your shoulders.

“Y/N?” He whispered your name, snapping you out of the abyss.

“Hmm?” You turned to face him.

His tongue glided over his bottom lip and his eyes were trained on your lips.

The next few seconds happened in slow motion. Spencer started edging closer to you, his eyes fluttering closed and his lips pursed.

And you turned your head to face the TV, allowing his lips to hit your cheek the way yours had to him so many times.

He made a strange noise that sounded halfway between a sigh and a groan. You tried to pretend you were focused on the TV. You felt his eyes on the side of your face and you tried to ignore it.

After a few minutes Spencer paused the film, the room falling silent. You swallowed a lump in your throat and slowly turned to face him.

“Why’d you stop the film?” you hoped your voice didn’t sound as shaky as you thought it did.

“I think we need to talk.” Spencer chewed his lip. “I think I need to explain why I’ve been so...weird.”

“Spencer, trust me when I say you being weird is not an unusual thing.” you tried to lighten the mood.

“Weirder than usual then.” he was fidgeting in his seat, wringing his hands together in his lap.

“I hadn’t noticed.” you lied.

“Yes you have.” he told you.

“Look Spence,” you sighed. “If you don’t want to kiss me I get it. But why would you ask me out if that’s not what you wanted?” the words spilled out of your mouth.

He nodded his understanding at your words, running one hand through his messy locks.

“I do want to kiss you Y/N.” his cheeks stained red with embarrassment. “I’ve always wanted to kiss you, since the first time I met you. Jeez, kissing is just the tip of the iceberg of things I want to do with you.” his blush deepened.

Your chest tightened at his words, a twinge passing between your legs.

“You uhm...you have a funny way of showing it.” your voice was breathy. You didn’t mean it to be.

“I know.” he nodded, gnawing his bottom lip. “I freaked myself out. I got in my head and I panicked and I didn’t know how to deal with that. So I dealt with it really, really badly and I’m sorry.”

“What were you freaking out about Spence?”

He sighed heavily, the blush still straining his cheeks.

“It took me six years to finally work up the courage to ask you out.” he laughed shyly. “But when I finally did, I was terrified I wouldn’t be good enough.”

Your face dropped, sadness in your eyes.

“Spencer,” you reached for him and took hold of his hand. It was sweating and shaking.

He shook his head sadly, telling you not to try and convince him otherwise.

“Y/N, I am not...not so great with women in case you’d never picked up on that.” he chuckled again, but again it was a shy sound. “I don’t ha-have...so much ex-experience.” he swallowed hard. “There have only been...a few...women. Not enough to make me an...ex-expert in any sense.” he swallowed again. “I just wanted to be...good...for you.”

“Oh Spencer,” you felt tears in your eyes. You had no idea he’d been going through this mental turmoil. “Spencer I don’t care. I’ve wanted you for six years. Trust me, there is no way in hell you will not be good enough. I am crazy about you Spence, and all I want in the whole right now is to kiss you. I have waited too long to know what those lips would-”

He cut you off when his lips suddenly crashed against yours.

You let out a small whimper as those plump lips of his finally kissed you. They felt better than your wildest imagination.

The whimper allowed Spencer to slide his tongue in your mouth. He held your face in his large hands, exploring your mouth with fervor.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you.

It was without a doubt the single most magical experience of your life. Nothing could have prepared you for how good his kiss would be.

It sent goosebumps flaring across your skin, making your chest tighten with lust.

It made you wet between your legs.

Maybe you should take a writing class because these lips, this kiss, definitely deserved poems written about them.

Your whole body felt as though it were on fire, every nerve ending in your body tingling with desire.

When the kiss ended you both gasped for air, trying to satiate your now empty lungs.

Spencer’s cheeks stained red again as he waited for your reaction shyly.

“I hope that was o-ok.” He stuttered a little.

You couldn’t help the large smile that broke out across your face.

“Spencer Reid, that was more than ok. It was perfect.”

His blush deepened and he looked away from you briefly before finding your eyes once more.

“Good.” He swallowed. “Because there’s a lot more I want to do with you Y/N.”

His words made you shudder.

“Now?” You swallowed, feeling oddly nervous.

“Right now.” He nodded before taking your face in his hands and kissing you again.

He was going to show exactly what his lips could do. And those poems practically wrote themselves between the sheets.

—————————————————————

Taglist -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl

@measure-in-pain

@ptrs-prkrs

[babygirlthor]

📖

alright, apparently at any given moment I‘ve got four something variations of mer/sea creature infinity stones AUs so here goes one…

the tesseract is on Asgard, hidden in the vaults— except she’s never been a cube and instead appears in the form of a sea creature. she’s a bit of an amalgamation of a box fish & a dragon sea slug but also vaguely humanoid shaped like a mer would be. So in the vault, instead of on a pedestal like everything else, Space is a bit separated from the main trophy room. Her water tank is completely blocked off by (energy) reinforced glass.

Young Loki finds the water tank cause he’s sneaky and wants to see the vault (because he’s drawn to it). The glass is a bit fuzzy and harder to see through when the bright barrier flares, though sporadically it’s more clear. The water is somehow not murky, as it stays completely clean.

Loki is of course fascinated by the strange creature he sees on the other side, though (at first) the feeling is not mutual as Tess is wary of all asgardians (and isn’t familiar enough with them to realize Loki is a child).

The cage, I mean- tank, is pretty small and barren, so although its depth goes a bit deeper than the floor, there’s no hiding spaces or similar creature comforts. There’s no algae, and no obviously no sun.

This also means that even tho they’re as far away as they can be, and Tess far larger staying in front, it’s obvious that there is two creatures here.

They don’t even attempt to communicate anything back to loki for a long time.

The second here is Mind, and he has been here for a long time. This was originally just his cage, and he has no idea Tess was in another section of the vault. At first, Odin had considered not keeping Tess at all, because having two infinity creatures in one place seemed risky even for him. He realized it was too risky even dumping one of them in a random spot in the ocean, because that would allow them to heal and become too powerful.

Tess had no idea mind was there either, but once she realized what was happening she attempted to contact the others. The message is vague as this kind of communication isn’t her strong suit, it’s mostly emotions and pain, but enough so if any of the others were nearby, they would know where she was.

Mind attempts to contact her back, but now behind another barrier, Tess’ abilities aren’t strong enough in this aspect for it to reach her. Mind is already worried at the message, but the lack of response is panic inducing and he knows they can’t die and the alternative can only be something worse.

In his panic, he manages to destroy his cage and the barrier, but it hurts him more than it did the tank. it could be rebuilt, and it was, multiple times. Odin eventually realizes keeping Mind away isn’t worth the effort, and he’s only destroying his vessel to the point, losing more and more of the leaf shaped structures (scales I guess? but also not really) he was once covered in.

And Odin isn’t cruel you know, he needs them weak, but not on the brink of “death”.

So he puts Tess in Mind’s tank, and well, that fixes one problem.

[Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.]

[beautifulterriblequeen]

The Thief and the Tinker, Part 4: Circles and Cycles

part 3

Part 4

Viren: *smirks and plinks Runaan's coin to Ethari*

Ethari, furious: You throw another Moonshadow at me and I'm gonna lose it.

Circles and Cycles

Angst rating: 8/10

Back to Ethari, because we're not done with him yet. Ethari is soft, but he isn't weak. He won't be a willing pawn for Viren. He loves Runaan to the point of invention, and his devotion is more constant than the moon itself. He'll agree to do what Viren says, and he'll be Very Sad. But his spirit is in no way broken. Viren bribing him with the coins containing his family will only have the opposite effect. It'll give Ethari something to fight for.

We could get Focused Chaos Ethari. We could get Angery Trickster Ethari. We could get Rules, What Rules? Ethari. Let him try to steal the coins, try to break them, try to kill Viren, and be stymied at every turn, until he settles and seems cowed. And then all he does is craft his way out of the problem.

What if we are gifted with Iron Man Elf Ethari, who pretends to build a fake Key for Viren, but meanwhile he's really building a coinbuster with whatever he can get his hands on - primal stones, magically imbued gemstones, stolen artifacts, his own arcanum, his own reputation as the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove. He'll use almost - almost - anything, to stop Viren and free his family.

Ethari may have to choose between those two things, though. And he's a hero, deep down, just like his family, just like his daughter. If he has to choose, he'll choose to stop Viren and save Xadia. He'll pay the same price as his family has if he must.

He'd let Viren think he was motivated purely by wanting his family back, but Ethari is far too steeped in the illusion and sacrifice for that to be all there is to his motives. It's a so-close-and-yet-so-far thing, how he and Viren almost embody the same ideals. Almost. Ethari would take one look at Viren, who just burnt down his whole Forest, he'd see the biggest threat in Xadia, and he'd say anything to get a chance to stop this juggernaut of destruction from getting his hands on whatever that ultimate power really is, locked behind that missing key. If he has to abandon his people and bawl his eyes out to convince Viren he's in, then he will.

And Viren wouldn't make it easy for him. He knows clever when he sees it. He went through all this trouble to persuade Ethari to work with him. He would need to keep Ethari as off-balance as possible to ensure that he keeps working as he should.

Angsty jewelry, anyone?

Viren giving Ethari his husband in pendant form to remind him what he's working for, when Viren and Ethari both know full well that only dark magic can open the hellcoins. Ethari wearing another pendant of his love, except it's not a metaphor this time. It's literally his love, in a coin around his neck.

Viren would love making Ethari stay close to him of his own free will if he ever hoped to free Runaan. Making people bind themselves to you is a big power flex. Remember that TDP stream future-season teaser note about Bait being in a creepy restraint in a future season?

This card is written on in all-caps, so that really could be "Bait" or "bait," or--knowing this show--both. Viren's been using Runaan as bait for Ethari all along. Putting his coin in a dark magic pendant casing for Ethari to wear would be a great parallel for that. Oh god. Oh man.

Maybe he'll stab the coin's scary casing right through that circle on Ethari's chest, right over his heart, make that Iron Man reference really obvious. Ethari also losing his shirt at some point, for angsty Viren-related reasons? It's more likely than you think. I mean... Ethari is literally involved in both forms of forging at this point. Shirt's gotta come off for uhhhh work reasons. And because he's hot. Because of all the forging. Mmhmm. I mean how else are we finally going to discover what his markings look like this is research I swear

I mentioned that I liked god-tier villains, right? Yeah, this is amazing. I haven't wanted to die and ascend over an idea for quite a while, but Ethari vs Viren in a drawn-out battle of wills would kill me in the best way. Especially since, while it looks like they're essentially fighting for who gets Runaan, they're truly fighting a much larger battle with much higher stakes. They're fighting for the future itself. It's an epic struggle between the Narrative of Strength and the Narrative of Love. And we've seen what happens, over and over, when the Narrative of Strength gets to call the shots.

On a meta note: If Ruthari's story arc isn't a love letter from one trauma survivor to another, and on a broader scope to all survivors who see it, I don't know what is. Sometimes life just chews us up and spits us out and we can't stop it and it breaks us. But sometimes we can reach out and grasp the chance to help each other, even after that, even when it hurts a lot, because we know what it means to be loved, and to love, and to want a safer future for each other and for people we'll never meet. The future is worth standing together for, helping each other back up for, fighting side by side for, even if you can't see how it'll end, or even how to begin. We are stronger together, and sometimes we need to fight for our "together" before we can fight for anything else. And that's worth it, every time.

This is glorious, it's beautiful, it's tragic, it's amazing, it makes me want to dance, it makes me want to scream into the void, it makes me want to slap someone with a semi truck. No, someone specific, don't worry, and he super deserves it.

Because Ethari is going to win. He was always going to win. He's soft, and he's clever, and he hasn't forgotten what love means. It's what he's fighting for. Not power, not control. Love. He doesn't want to dictate Runaan's future or anyone else's. He just wants his husband--and everyone else--to have one at all.

So he's going to win.

What thwarting Viren looks like, I couldn't possibly guess. TDP is no stranger to angst, so there will probably be a high cost involved in outwitting the dark mage. Maybe not everyone can be rescued from the coins. Maybe Ethari will lose his life, or his soul, or his vision, or something else really angsty. Viren could even kill him and resurrect him as a smoky craftsman, or a zombie craftsman, or something equally biddable but horrible. The only thing I'm sure of is that Ethari would never willingly make a working Key of Aaravos Ethari as long as there's a chance Viren could possess it. But I do believe that if he gets the right opportunity while he's busy saving the world from Viren's dark intentions, he'll break his husband's hellcoin open somehow and set him free, even if he has to smile at the devil to do it.

Ethari understands the difference between "you can" and "therefore you should." He might sacrifice his own world to save his husband, but he'd never sacrifice someone else's world. That's one of the Moonshadow cultural limits I've noticed: they accept boundaries when it comes to other people's autonomous rights, especially regarding life and death.

These limits could get pushed. Ethari will be under great duress and emotional strain if he goes through this kind of interaction with Viren. And maybe he will choose some dark things. Everyone else has. But I'm placing all my eggs in the basket labeled "Saved By Love." Either I'm right, or I'll get the best angst omelets in the universe. And I do love omelets. A villain invented them, you know. ;)

Another support for Ethari not making the key for Viren: the real Key exists!

Callum has it right now. The plot doesn't need Ethari's key (yet? ever?), but it does need Ethari to learn what he's made of, to stand up for something, or against something, or both at once. And once he learns what he will and won't do and the universe has rewarded his discovery with the return of his beloved husband then Ethari will be ready to take on whatever else the plot has in mind for him.

Depending on the plan, all of these events could happen in S4, as a setup for even bigger things to follow. Viren's wishes can be thwarted here and the show's overall tension will only continue to rise. It would let Ethari flex yes pls his skills so we know who he is, it would show how driven Viren can be for a long-term goal, it would let Claudia saunter further downwards, it would reveal some human/Moonshadow history, and it would resolve the seasons-long tension regarding Runaan's fate, allowing for the cycle of speculation, feels, angst, and Ruthari fanart to begin again. ;) Viren would need to find another way to pursue his long-term goal. And Callum's Key will get a little more clarity on just how important it is to the fate of the world - which will make everything he does, and everyone he talks to, and anyone who knows what he's carrying, intensely important.

Nyx is gonna steal it isn't she, omg chaos birb

To Viren, Ethari was a main course, meant to be devoured and consumed in his lifelong quest for something that will finally satisfy. But to Ethari, Viren was just empty calories to be passed over in favor of ordering his perennial favorite dish, one more time.

Once Ethari escapes Viren's clutches with as much of his family as he can rescue, Viren may turn back to looking for the real Key, especially if someone's seen it recently. Hunting a kid probably seems easier than hunting a full-grown Moonshadow craftsman who just outsmarted him. okay so maybe Nyx stealing it would be a good thing and save Callum's life

Ethari could go on to help repair the Sunforge, or rebuild the Moonhenge, or work on constructing Moonshadow villages in Katolis if he hasn't been ghosted for abandoning everyone after the forest fire. He might build magical devices for any number of reasons, to help all kinds of characters. Hopefully, wherever he goes, he'll have Runaan with him, in some way, for at least a little while. Cycles be like, and I feel like Runaan will not want to remain still for long, for whatever reason. Does he need revenge, atonement, justice, a new body, to find Rayla, to find Ezran? He'll be back in action as soon as he can, I think.

Okay, but, I'm so soft at the thought of a scene where Runaan and Ethari come before King Ezran. The husbands tried to save their people Runaan's way, the old way, and it only continued to endanger them. Following the cycle, as Moonshadows do, was the wrong move. But the son of the last human Runaan killed reached out with mercy and broke a thousand years of suffering and sorrow and hatred. Ezran did what Runaan couldn't: he saved the Moonshadow elves from total destruction. And that, more than anything else in the world, could soften one very broody assassin's heart toward humans again.

What would Runaan do, if his heart truly changed toward humans? What would he say to Ezran? I could see him struggling for a long moment before dropping to one knee to pledge his heart as he once had to do before the Dragon Throne. He doesn't know any other way but to serve. Ezran, reading the whole room and everyone's feelings before he tells Runaan that No, we don't do that here. That he's free, and free means free. No chains, no oaths. Just trust and friendship. He should get to make his own decisions for a change, even though that can be hard and scary sometimes. Runaan being genuinely scared, because that's too much freedom. But he's not alone. He has Ethari, and Ezran, and Rayla, and Callum, and their people, and their allies. And no matter what else happens, the people of Katolis - elven and human - will find a way forward. Together.

part 5

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Yuvon (and Jake),

I'm actually glad you understand my suspicions and still, I think you convinced me to trust you for now. Maybe that goes both ways.

So, helping each other with those weird situations over letters, hm?

I never would've dreamed of my life becoming this...messed up? Weird? Crazy? But hey, at least it is not boring.

Yes, I was saying the stuff with the chinese food (which I really cooked btw) because of the motel room :)

So, four hours only...But that's something we could have expected: Different universes (as far as we know), different 'time zones' if you wanna call it like that.

Jake didn't I still was not able to reach my Jake, but I took a closer look on the picture. Sadly I didn't find anything. In the moment I'll stay where I am, I don't want to leave my home, but I hope I'll find a way to contact the Crow-Crew soon. Or maybe what (or who) ever is responsible for the stasis desides to 'help' me a bit. The thought of the MWAF (at least that's what I think) being out of the stasis with me is not really calming. I am also thinking about calling other people I know from Duskwood, or had contact with. Maybe Alan, Darkness or even Phil in prison. I have to figure out with whom I can stay in contact.

To help you, maybe you can figure out a bit more of where you are and maybe why you're there? You said something of a library and game room, also a comfy room. Is there something, anything that could give you hints?

Or is there something you haven't talked about yet that you know which could give more hints on your situation? Everything could help you now (even though going or plotting against an entity would be rather difficult) [a little figure that seems to think really hard is sketched next to the sentence]

So yeah, I think that's it for now. Maybe Rai will answer again soon, then we'd be three people :)

Stay safe Yuron, and Jake too!

[Jakes red eye is drawn here]

Liska🐾🔥

Liska,

I'm inclined to at least give SOME trust to anyone who gets these letters, since I'm 99% sure everyone who gets these is an alternate amateur investigator in the exact same position as I was in before being drawn here. You saw me talking about the parallel universe theory with Rai, right? My opinion there still stands. Maybe it's a bit naive, but the shared circumstances make me trust y'all more off the bat.

Yep, we might be trapped in cosmic horror stories, but no one could ever say this is boring XD

I was hoping not to deal with time bullshit. I was so happy when I learned that Rai and I's universes ran on the same time. Guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up XD Still, yeah, I really should've expected it.

Calling them would be an interesting idea. However, calling Phil might be difficult, and calling Alan may or may not cause issues; hard to tell with what we know so far. Sounds like Darkness is your best shot, at least in my opinion. (The writing here grows a little shaky.) I think that

Sorry, I started laughing and my lines started going crazy. I can’t ever NOT find Darkness hilarious, he reminds me of me when I was in my edgy phase. Anyhow, you’re probably going to need some type of pretext for talking to him, unless you want to frame it as just striking up a conversation. Maybe send him that picture of the MWAF’s mask you just got and ask him if it’s the one from the legend? You’ve come to him for info on the MWAF before, it probably won’t come off as an odd question.

I mean, odd for reasons other than you being sent a photo of the MWAF’s mask. Whatever, you get what I mean.

As for the rooms: there’s been something I’ve been obsessing over for a while, now, but I haven’t been able to get anywhere with it. I don’t know how much you know about video games, but for purposes of what I’m talking about, there’s basically three types: Singleplayer games are self-explanatory, and I have more than a few in the game room. Multiplayer games, on the other hand, come in two variants. There are ONLINE multiplayer games, where you play with random people on the internet. I have none of those, which is probably not surprising given all my other restrictions.

What I DO have are what are called LOCAL multiplayer games. These games are basically meant to be played by someone in the same room as you, on the same console (I’m usually a PC gamer but local multiplayer is generally a console thing.) There are also board games (multiplayer!) and even some DnD handbooks!

What’s most interesting to me, though, is that almost everything so far has been tailored to my interests. Books are all genres I enjoy, games are all genres I enjoy, etc etc. But buried under some other stuff is a chessboard. I’m AWFUL at chess and generally avoid playing it to avoid humiliating myself.

So something’s definitely up with that, though I’m not entirely sure what.

(Blacked out) (Blacked out harshly) (Blacked out) fe No, nothing of particular note I haven’t said yet. There’s those three rooms to the “south”, “east”, and “west”. There’s infinite paper. Whenever I get out of here I’m gonna get hit with a fine for littering XD   I have a pen that doesn’t run out of ink, a pencil that doesn’t seem to get dull, a paper clip with all the letters I’ve gotten or sent so far, and my malfunctioning phone which doesn’t run out of charge.

For a rehash of the rules I’ve learned of this place: I don’t need to eat or drink. I don’t get injuries. Nothing can pass through the invisible barrier. The trees are pass-through-able if there’s a room on the other side. I am not allowed to contact anybody not somehow related to the Duskwood case. Unless I take action to spur them on first, the Crow Crew remains in stasis except for on landmark days like Father’s Day. (Jake is no longer in stasis, exactly, but he can’t get anything new on the case either. He considers it a variation on the stasis.)

:) Yeah, hope Rai’s doing okay. They probably just had something come up in their life, and that’s why they haven’t written for a little bit. Or maybe they moved and the entity keeping me here didn’t update the address XD

Jake wants to try to figure out if there’s a “conversion rate” for time between our universes. I suspect there isn’t a conversion rate, but it’d be good to figure out one way or the other. We’re taking notes on the approximate times we get your letters and send ours back to you. Your letter was received about 12 hours after I sent the last letter, and I’m sending this one somewhere about about 2 hours after I got yours.

Jake highly recommends you don’t call Alan. And while he personally doesn’t mind if you call Phil, he says that based on his own previous behavior, your Jake might not be too happy about it XD

He also suggests that maybe the reason my letters sent so oddly in the first place (introductory, then all the others at once,) had something to do with the time bullshit. Seems possible, I guess, but that might imply your stasis doesn’t have anything to do with my stasis; I figure if my entity was the one doing your stasis it could bypass the stasis to deliver the letters.

Speaking of stasis: I know it’s dangerous, and I know you’d be breaking your promise... but what would happen if you physically went to Duskwood? Probably too bad of an idea to actually try unless you get really desperate, but it’s something to think about.

You be safe too, Lis :)

—Yuvon and Jake

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

[ohcaptaintarthister]

The Assassination of Jaime Lannister*

Rant contains spoilers of Season 8 Episode 4 of Game of Thrones. Look away if you haven't seen it.

Right. Here we go.

I did not read the series A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) until Season 5 of Game of Thrones. Fantasy is not my favorite genre. Besides these books by George RR Martin, the only fantasy novel I've read was The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King.

I was drawn to the books because of the show. They're not easy to read. Besides being thick enough to actually hurt someone with it, I read them with zero ideas about the conventions of fantasy, the worldling and so on. I was curious and wanted to see. Also, Season 5 took too long. After a weekend where I binged on Seasons 1 to 4, I needed to know about the books.

The wait for Season 5 was reason one. Curiosity the second. The third was I have fallen in love with Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth. Yes. I was in love with them as a pair. They are my favorite characters.

Back then I had no idea what shipping meant, and what fandoms were. But I knew I had to see if the chemistry of Jaime and Brienne in the show, awesomely played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christie, resulted from casting and adaptation or if the characters' interactions sizzled in the books. In other words, and this is vocabulary I picked up once I began wading deeper into the fandom, I was curious if it was canon.

And it was!

On their own and together, Jaime and Brienne were written with nuanced complexity. Jaime, especially, seemed sketched to cover the entire spectrum of gray and other unknown shades of it. Readers and show-onlys went from wishing this guy Seven Hells for throwing a ten-year-old child from a window to cheering him on as he found himself, often with great reluctance at first, on a path to redemption. Because Jaime, once separated from his family--the continuing disapproval of his father Tywin because he was nothing more than a glorified bodyguard and the quicksand relationship with twin sister Cersei--was finally free to be a man on his own. It did not matter that he was one of the greatest sword fighters, that he was a Lannister and Kingsguard. Robb Stark's army captured him because he was leading the Lannister armies. He lost his hand for thinking being a Lannister gave him protection and privilege. One-handed and probably still fevered, he jumped into the bear pit to rescue Brienne of Tarth. And before that, he saved her from being raped too.

As all that Jaime had been was gradually stripped away to reveal a man who murdered his king to protect the people yet one who loved his sister without guilt, Brienne was there in the picture of him being rendered anew. Honestly, because of Brienne, I swung to Team Jaime. Possibly with pom-poms too.

But after reading the books and seeing some episodes again, I began to wonder if David Benioff and D.B. Weiss hated the character.

While in the books Jaime said, "The things we do for love" WITH LOATHING, in the show he said the line with a smirk, that throwing a boy out the window was the natural consequence of protecting his affair with Cersei. Maybe Show!Jaime didn't see it as a consequence but something that simply had to be done but without smugness.

Okay, I thought. That was weird but the writers have to know right? They read the books.

When Jaime and Brienne finally have that bath in the show, and how it was adapted as faithfully as possible, I thought the show finally understood him. It was weird that Jaime returned to Cersei before the Purple Wedding but i thought of nothing of it.

Until THAT episode in Season 4.

In the books, the scene above should be when Jaime returned at King's Landing after being captured by Robb Stark and The Brave Companions. The reunion was from Jaime' point of view. Cersei's consent was clear:

"Hurry," she was whispering now, "quickly, quickly, now, do it now, do me now. Jaime Jaime Jaime." Her hands helped guide him. "Yes," Cersei said as he thrust, "my brother, sweet brother, yes, like that, yes, I have you, you’re home now, you're home now, you’re home." She kissed his ear and stroked his short bristly hair." 

In the show, she actually said, "It's not right!" a few times. Also, a few episodes prior to this, we saw Jaime complaining to her that he had been "back for weeks," and wanted to resume their affair. While in the books we saw two people falling in each other's arms after being apart for a long time, and needing each other desperately, in the show we saw rape. Though the claim by Benioff and Weiss was due to "bad editing/lighting" and that it was "unintentional," their refusal to actually address the issue and just re-edit and re-broadcast buried even more Jaime's redemption arc. As a viewer I forgave this mistake. Maybe next season?

Nope. It got worse.

When Jaime and Cersei made love by Joffrey' body in the books, this was the last time the twins would have sex. The books showed Jaime's gradual disillusionment with Cersei--he thought she drank too much, was tired of her scheming. Tyrion also told him about her affairs with other men. So when Jaime went to Riverrun to recover it for the Crown, he was not only the farthest from Cersei again, he was done. Just DONE. Her pleas for him to help her and promises of love end up tossed in the fire.

The show, rather than adapting this, simply diverged. Season 5 was as confused in what to do with Jaime as lots of viewers were. Season 6 saw Jaime and Cersei resume their affair before he left for the Riverlands. Returning to King's Landing in the finale, we saw the chilling look Jaime gave Cersei during her coronation.

Perhaps this was it. This would be when he falls out of love.

HA.

Season 7, until this weekend's episode, was THE WORST ADAPTATION OF JAIME. There. I'm saying it. THE WORST.

Why? It wasn't even the incest that pissed me off. Jaime, who slew the Mad King for wanting to torch King's Landing with wildfyre, did a dizzying 180 by ENABLING his sister, who murdered Queen Margaery, her former fiance, Kevan Lannister and other innocent members of the court by wildfire. Season 7 Jaime simply took Cersei at her word. Forget about Tommen, THEIR LAST SON. Who committed suicide as a result of his wife's murder. Forget about what really caused the Sept explosion. What mattered was creating a dynasty for "the last Lannisters who count."

Jaime stood by her side and in the queen' name, contributed in tearing further apart the Seven Kingdoms. No questions asked. LITERALLY no questions asked. Despite telling Cersei of the danger of her new position, he went on to rant about the lack of allies. That can be read as Jaime being practical but as the season progressed, it was proof that he would be at her side no matter what. No matter who had to be murdered. He DID say he would murder everyone until it was only the two of them left in the world. Alright.

LIoking back on past episodes, Cersei always succeeded in keeping Jaime at her side with promises of going public with their affair. In the books, Jaime pressed her to let people know he was her choice and she refused. In the Season 4 finale, she told him she told Tywin about them, resulting in passionate and this time consensual sex on a table in the White Sword Tower. In Episode 3 of Season 7, after Cersei fucked him to celebrate her victory over the Sand Snakes, we saw a loved up Jaime in the morning after.

This would be the happiest viewers had seen Jaime. Cersei, now really THE Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, would openly fuck him. The scandal reached as far as Eastwatch, with Tormund, wanting to clarify, asking which queen was discussed in a conversation. "The one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?"

After Daenerys and her Dothraki army burned the Lannister forces on their way back to King's Landing, a shaken and muddy Jaime returned to Cersei right away. And in the same episode, Cersei revealed she was pregnant again. This was happy news, indeed but Jaime needed to know one thing: who will Cersei acknowledge as the father.

"You."

Now I refuse to think Cersei had once again succeeded in manipulating him. I think she WAS pregnant. There's no way to fake joy like that. And yeah, though I don't ship them, I understood Jaime's happiness. Finally, he would get to be a real father.

Still, still, still. Season 7 Jaime really made no sense. There was none of Book Jaime here. None. What we saw was a guy who supported a tyrant willingly and was now going to be a real daddy. I hate it but that's really Season 7 Jaime. Even when he left Cersei, the reason was a headscratcher.

"I don't believe you," has got to be the worst break-up line because it's lame. Better if Jaime just looked at Cersei with puppy dog eyes and walked away. Really.

The beginning of Season 8 saw the writing of Jaime hitting the right beats. A different man, check. A man who honestly regrets what he did to Bran, check. A man who was no longer the golden lion and ready to fulfill a vow he made, check. Hearteyes at Brienne, check.

He knighted Brienne. BIG, FAT CHECKS.

In episode four, The Last of the Starks, Benioff and Weiss, probably tired from the glare of their computer screens, seemed to have just written the episode in bullet points. It became glaringly obvious they wanted the series over and done with. Fuck decent writing.

Jaime Lannister is not the only one who was badly written in the latest episode. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about Qyburn's ballista and Euron apparently a sharp-shooter. We have no idea how Missandei was captured. That drinking game with Jaime, Brienne, Podrick and Tyrion was awkward and misogynistic--seriously, why shame Brienne for being a virgin?

And Sansa! Sansa basically saying if she had not been raped and abused, she wouldn't be in the position she is now! Who on earth says anything like that? Answer: no one. And I don't mean Arya.

And Missandei. The ONE WOMAN OF COLOR in a blindingly white show is chained and beheaded!

Then Jaime. Oh, Jaime.

There are no happy endings in Game of Thrones. Ned Starks gets beheaded. Jon Snow gets knifed. Sansa is raped. Catelyn, Robb and Talisa get butchered. Just when victory is within reach, characters are punished so cruelly it's inhuman.

But it doesn't mean crappy writing. At fifteen million dollars an episode this season, I expect writing that reflects intelligence. Who cares about CGI wolves and dragons when the writing is shit?

Now it's no longer a question if David Benioff and D.B. Weiss hate Jaime. THEY DO. Everyone else was buffed up or given meat. They couldn't even spare Jaime Lannister a decent-sized bone.

I don't blame Jaime for leaving Brienne. Hear me out.

After Brienne and Sansa tell him the latest developments in King's Landing with regard to Cersei, we see Jaime shocked and even horrified. The next scene, he's in the chambers with Brienne contemplating what to do. And this is where the writing becomes really shitty:

1. He left her without saying goodbye.

2. He LEFT Brienne with her thinking he did it for Cersei.

What was the point of according her the respect and honor of being a knight--done by his own hand? What was the point of telling her he was no longer the fighter he was? Where was the respect when he was going to leave her as a regrettable one night stand? (But Winterfell to King's Landing is a month by land so I assume they've been banging for that long)

Nothing, it's just illogical shit.

Had the writers made just a bit more effort, Jaime Lannister should have been shown experiencing some happiness with Brienne, rather than Tyrion telling the viewers about it. We don't see it. We're just told and have to take their word for it. Jaime could have benefitted too in leaving Brienne in the NEXT episode. Why? It increases the stakes. Just one scene showing Jaime happy, just one, and of him ACTUALLY talking to Brienne about having to leave instead of being found out, and the episode probably won't be as crappy. I don't mind Brienne begging and crying, heartbreaking as that scene is. What I mind is Jaime never being shown what he stands to lose if he leaves Winterfell. Olenna Tyrell, before he he grants her the mercy of taking poison, had warned him it will be too late for him. She's right.

I believe he goes to King's Landing because of the guilt that he began a war to protect Cersei. When he does things for Cersei, the consequences are horrible and far-reaching. Easy to call him dumb and he is. But let's not forget that he charged at Daenerys and Drogon with just a spear thinking to end it all. A spear against a fire-breathing dragon. Like, what are the odds, right?

I'm not going to say anything more about The Bang That Was Promised And Sucked Donkey Balls. Enough has been said, enough hearts have been broken. We KNOW the world of Game of Thrones is dark and bitter and almost without hope. We really do. But as fans of the books and the show, FANS WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR THE SERIES BE RENEWED AND HBO TO INCREASE THE BUDGET EVERY SEASON, all we ask for is good writing. We get that without actual material from George the writing is challenging. WE REALLY DO.

But is it too much to ask for the writers to set aside their hatred for one of the best characters in the series and understand him? Give him the material he deserves in the show? There is none of the Book Jaime trying so hard to be honorable. None. Instead what we've been given, since the first episode, is a train wreck of an adaptation that has now been confirmed as a character assassination.

It's not dragonfyre that has killed Jaime but writing that is careless, hurried and just plain awful. In Benioff and Weiss' determination and delusion in finishing the TV series on a high note, Jaime Lannister has been left with barely a whimper.

*Previously titled, "When Adaptations Assassinate A Character."

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!”

Story by: Francsco Angones, Colleen Evanson, Bob Snow, Madison Bateman, Christian Magalhaes

Written by: Colleen Evanson

Directed by: John Aoshima

Storyboard by: Mark Garcia, Matthew Humphreys, Tanner Johnson

Not really that infernal.

The episode starts with Scrooge McDuck and Glomgold in the Billionaire's Club, doing what they call a "test of vision". Dewey says it’s a staring contest, which they both deny. Neither do the animators, as Glomgold clearly blinks about three times.

Even to people who are watching this show for the first time, the episode establishes clearly that these two hate each other's guts. They even sit in what seems like a room split between them. Is there anything these guys can agree on, even including myself? Huey and Dewey are escorted outside due to not being a part of the super elites, but not before a super elite walks in, looking at his smart phone.

Huey: Is that...

Mark Beaks: (practically in response) Yup.

Enter Mark Beaks, a Mark Zuckberg-like young tech CEO. He’s about to become a billionaire thanks to people investing in his upcoming product, Project Tah-Dah. He is definitely trying to be a more modern billionaire than Scrooge or Glomgold, and this show makes this very subtle!

Mark Beaks: Allow me to take you to the future...(hits playlist)...RE-MIIIIIIX! (loud dubstep music, airhorns)

Considering this guy may be a villain according to the intro, this may be ironic. It turns out that hating the guy trying to date the show is something McDuck and Glomgold can agree on. It’s true what they say, you don't get to be a billionaire without making a few enemies.

Someone who will disagree is Huey, who is a huge fan of him to the point where even breathing the same air causes him to. Dewey isn't nearly as enthusastic, though the thought of being a young billionaire isn't exactly deterring him.

Mark Beaks shows up, muttering about how Scrooge and Glomgold do not have social media presence, and see two kids saying things that stroke his ego. As a reward, he offers them an after-school job. We haven’t even seen them go to school in this series yet. It's not important.

After the title sequence that implied that this guy is not exactly nice, Huey and Dewey go to Waddle to apply for their after-school job. We pass by a few advertisements for his company, one with a slogan not too far off from Apple's, and, of course, more stuff about Project Tah-Dah. I can think of several things that logo looks like. Like an upside down seagull drawing! Or a big bu...well, let's get going.

After giving them a tour involving It turns out, there’s only one spot for an internship. Yup, it’s one of those "two people fight for the one ticket" episodes. As for Louie, it's apparently Louie’s turn to get left out entirely. Dewey is the only character that appears in every episode so far, though it'll be his turn soon.

Mark Beaks is gloating while watching his fortunes rise and rise, until we see a falcon in a suit beating up a bunch of his security guards. He introduces himself as Falcon Graves, and he's been hired to steal Project Tah-Dah. He never reveals his employer. His first reaction to this? Do a selfie.

The main joke is that he takes this super calm, despite the fact that he’s clearly dealing with someone violent. No matter what Falcon Graves does. He even breaks his cell phone several times, only for him to pull out another one. That's pretty much it for this running joke, and it almost gets old. Not to say I didn't enjoy watching Falcon Graves get annoyed at everything, so there's that.

Meanwhile, Scrooge and Glomgold decide to have a meeting on how to take care of Mark Beaks. It may be a poor lapse of judgment on Scrooge's part to make a deal with a guy who has tried to kill him multiple times, but their hatred of Mark Beaks runs that deep. We cut back and forth between Huey and Dewey trying to get that sweet internship, somewhat literally as at least the stapler is made out of candy, and this.

One of the highlights is Glomgold telling him what his plan is, while Scrooge rolls his eyes at the unnecessary spending. Glomgold does this through a blueprint, picturing himself with giant muscles. This is the highlight of the episode. I do appreciate that they're trying to feature as many villains as possible, but scenes like this really make me look forward to more episodes with Glomgold.

There's even a twist with these scenes, and anyone can see it coming. Let the fact that Scrooge was not drawn with huge muscles be a clue. Not that anyone would imagine that.

Going back to the Huey and Dewey plot, we get a montage of them trying their best at doing their job in their own way. This shows the contrast between their new characters, the more serious and organized duck does things the more serious and organized way, and the fun-loving duck does it the more fun-loving way. For example, when trying to take lunch orders, Huey asks each person what they want, while Dewey just gets pizza for everyone, which causes a "Dewey" chant. What can I say, pizza always wins.

We learn another thing about Beaks: he is all about his schedule. He will complain when his 2:15 pm coffee comes at 2:12, giving one of the few times he doesn't react with his usual uncaring personality. He even has time for a dance break randomly in the episode, because a modern cartoon has to have at least one scene where a character shakes his butt at the camera. Yeah, I feel like I have to least mention that one. Not as bad as certain scenes I'm still trying to forget.

Thanks to that aforementioned coffee timing, Mark Beaks awards Huey with the golden cap of internship. Unfortunately for Huey, Dewey also gets rewarded for a technicality: having a briefcase with him. He decides to make Dewey the Vice President of Fancy Business, a far better reward than just "internship". No gold hat, but still better. Huey takes it very well.

Or not, as he goes coo-coo at the thought that Dewey managed to get a better position than him, ripping up papers and starting to eat the desk. I've gotten at least one ask mentioning if this reminded me of a certain other reboot, but I don't really see it. There's clearly some buildup; it's not just "how dare someone other than me win something better than me."

This is all interrupted by Falcon Graves, who is getting rather impatient. I know the feeling. We finally get to learn what Project Tah-Dah really is, because Falcon Graves is giving his new Vice President of Fancy Business no choice in the matter. I'm not going to spoil it, but if you want to know, just ask the host of Wheel of Fish. His statements may echo Mark Beaks' feelings on everyone else but him.

It's a little more than that: this was all a part of his plan to be a billionaire without having to do anything substantial. This ends up being the turning point for both Huey and Dewey, if his general jerk personality wasn't any indication. They never really make him an outright villain, despite him being a part of the rogue's gallery in the intro.

It's a turning point for different reasons, of course. While both of them know this guy is a, it seems like Dewey tries to defend him more by saying that he's just a guy who relies on smart people. It seems like more of a Louie position than a Dewey position, and it feels really odd to say that about a trio that used to be so alike that even people in the show and comics make jokes about how alike they are.

Falcon Graves decides enough is enough, and hangs Mark Beaks off of Waddle's rooftop. Mark Beaks isn't worried at all. For one, there's trampolines. His mood immediately changes when Graves takes his last backup phone, so you know what his priorities are.

Of course, because he’s only in the "slimeball" category, they decide to help him out of this situation. This doesn't come without some, especially from the duck who idolized him at first.

Huey: I'm sure your bestest friend will just fake his way through it like everything else!

Just a reminder that Mark Beaks is currently being hung over an at least five-story fall, and that doesn't seem to come up in his head. Maybe he's still that mad for not being the Vice President of Fancy Business. Dewey decides to take a note from Huey and does his own checklist. Said checklist involves asking Huey for help. A good non-Glomgold non-Scrooge joke, more rare in this episode than the usual.

Huey just throws Dewey right in front of Graves, and all he can do is try to swing his briefcase at him. As seen previously, Falcon Graves is definitely a fighter, and that briefcase ends up in his hands. After another decent gag where Dewey keeps guessing briefcase combinations, another move I would associate more with Louie, the force of the briefcase opening and a bunch of money falling out. Clearly stolen, another Louie movie.

He manages to save Mark Beaks, and he repays them by firing both of them because they know too much. Even if they did tell anyone, nobody would believe them. He is such a jerk, and not a loveable one. Glomgold is an outright villain, but at least has a likeable character. Mark Beaks has, well...

Mark Beaks: RE-MIIIIIIX! (loud dubstep music, airhorns)

That. Your mileage may vary, and maybe future episodes will make him grow on me.

But not before Dewey tweets out an embarrassing tweet, or whatever this show's equivalent of Twitter is, and throws out his last backup phone. He jumps after it, and 2030s parents have to explain to their children what #YOLO used to mean. Both Graves and Mark Beaks live thanks to his genius idea of having trampolines outside of his office. I'm glad that seemingly random jokes have an actual point in DuckTales 2017.

Falcon Graves just gives up, and Mark Beaks gets away scot-free. Though, again, it's for the best he doesn't get punished as there's more to this story. The episode ends with something that appears to be a last minute teaser, which will not be continued in the next episode. We were spoiled with the double dose of that Lena plot. And those first few episodes, come to think of it.

How does it stack up?

Much like Terra-Firmians, this is a case where the more minor part overshadows the major part. Unlike Terra-Firmians, that minor part takes up about a tenth of the episode.

It’s good to see Glomgold outside of a cameo. Honestly, I could say the same about Scrooge at this point. It's a highlight in what is a very by-the-numbers plot and not-that-funny "modern jokes" that were probably intentional. They got the young businessman down with Mark Beaks, for better and for worse.

This is the closest this show has reminded me of another reboot, though I can kind of see their tongue in their cheek. Some good scenes prevent this from being an outright bad episode, and I still found some enjoyment out of it, but it's not one of their best. Hopefully that teaser suggests this is just the calm before the storm.

That's it for the catch-up week. I'll be honest, I'm surprised I even managed to make this happen. I still have an review planned for Monday. After that...I'll think about my plans for a month with no new Puff or Duck.

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[danny-chase]

I am extremely prone to rambling so my apologies for the last post it was definitely a bit incoherent whoops, I was trying to think in terms of where people are coming from.

Re Babs: I was definitely misremembering Chuck Dixon's Babs (i scrolled through a few issues and was like whoops), guess that really was Devin's fault. I think the whole jealousy thing was incredibly misogynistic and i guess the point i was trying to make was canon misogyny trickles down into fanon misogyny. (Honestly i probably scrolled through one too many babs bashing posts and misinterpreted things which is i guess exactly what can happen - people read something bad happening to their comfort character such as his breakup with Babs and then blame the other character, hate post, someone like me who's read the run but doesn't recall every detail reads it and makes assumptions). Sorry about that, did exactly what fanon makes it very easy to do.

Re Steph: when i say stereotypical teen tropes i mean how all her dialogue is written in loopy handwriting (she's essentially a dear diary kind of person) and from what I've read so far (i haven't read the whole thing) it kinda seems like her main personality trait is being attracted to Tim, which is fine I guess, maybe I'm being too sensitive about this after seeing one too many female characters acting like their entire world revolves around the guy they're dating - you're right Steph does get to talk about other things and do other things as well (like beat up her dad), i think more at the beginning where she was chasing him around was what i was referring to. (The one time where she unnecessarily kisses him did not pass the vibe check). Also the artists sexualize her so much and it rubs me the wrong way cuz she's a minor (which again is just more misogyny to deal with). Full disclosure, I don't really like the run in general. I'm not a fan of Tim or Steph in the run, though I'm a fan of YJ Tim, and i like Steph when she's in literally anything else.

Side note: maybe i dislike reading romance. It really could just be me not liking romance. I'll have to think on that one...

Re Jason: look i personally am not a major fan but he fulfills a certain type - i saw another post the other day about this trope and that helped me understand the appeal. For sure it's a double standard. The girls and Duke should 100% be considered part of the family, i need to read more comics but I've heard Helena Bertinelli (before new52 stuff) goes through the same character arc people want Jason to have. My question is who actively makes the double standard and who gets the trickle down affect?

Re sexism and racism: This is definitely what I think the root cause is, and i have no idea whether it's people at DC driving it or people projecting on characters. No one is infallible when it comes to those issues, and everyone has internalized biases, and when people don't read all the comics they can perpetuate bad versions of the characters without realizing it. And then again when the issues are so complicated - let's say someone gets raped and they project onto Dick and write a therapeutic fic where he rants about Babs breaking up with him or something. I wouldn't call the person sexist even though they're furthering Babs in a bad light. This happens to Dick sometimes too - Tim and Jason stans occasionally bash him for not being there for their characters. Like it's incredibly blurry where the line can be drawn between that's sexist and that's someone having issues and taking it out on a fictional character. Idk I'd rather them take it out on a fictional character than a real person but like at the same time if they're perpetuating racist/sexist tropes it's a bit questionable. Ideally they would go to therapy but that isnt accessible to everyone. They could choose not to share it, but sharing can boost their self esteem if people like it. Wow didn't think I'd be debating the ethics of fanfic but here we are lmao. Another way sexist/racist versions of characters can be perpetuated is if that's the main fanon traits people see. Don't want to leave a caracter out? Boom default to the fanon stereotype. Which again happens to the main characters as you mentioned they're literally Dick:😃, Jason:😡, Tim:🤓 and Damian:😠. Who decided the fanon stereotypes i have no idea.

In conclusion comics are a clusterfuck and I'm too dumb and young too understand wtf is going on in this fandom, sexism and racism sucks but and i feel bad blaming everyone because i try not to make assumptions about people, so I'm at a lost for who to blame (other than DC) and myself for my own internalized biases - which i can work to overcome. I hope this doesn't come off poorly or aggressive at all and is more coherent, sorry idk if I'm overthinking it, it's just interesting to me where the roots of this whole thing started. Like people find it so easy project on white male characters and I want to know why (essentially my question is, is it truly DC favoritism that makes people do this - longer stories, better characterization in the long run - not just having one or two bad arcs?, or is it people doing it themselves?, a combination of both?) Idk i just find the conversation of how ppl form preferences/biases/faves interesting, hope my tone didn't fall flat.

  @shamelessbatfamtrash said to your post:         

           I mean canon does try to fill the demand for batfamily bonding now and then, but idk it seems like Dick is really the only canon character in the family who’s on good terms with everyone, and those relationships are interesting so I totally get the desire to see more, and i personally enjoy aus where they’re all closer (including steph, cass, babs, duke) because if everyone keeps their canon personalities it would make for interesting and complex dynamics.             

Using the standard group dynamics is just jarring to me cuz it doesn’t match with the characters i have in my head                 

yeah I can see why people want them to get along and enjoying those AUs, what mostly I don’t get is when I click on a batfam fic or something and they act like all the ‘main’ robins are super close and then have the female characters have like. one line each. (this post had a self rb not sure which one you saw but the next one was like “i especially don’t get it when it seems like they are portrayed as closer to each other than female characters they have more substantial canon relationships w/ (friendly relationships too, not just romantic)“).

i get why people want them to get along and im not saying its a bad thing but oftentimes its done in fandom in the boringest way possible. if everyone had their canon personalities that would be rad and i would actually enjoy reading that :P