#so excited for dash crabs round 2

[girls-and-honey]

Well now I’m going to ask about the soup 🥣

asdlkfsj I felt like this was coming eventually, let's talk about the soup

soup is my go-to gender analogy, described briefly in the tags of this reblog. it's also why my gender tag for posts that resonate and/or stir up good questions is ohhh this is going in the soup

I've really loved having this kind of system on tumblr because I still don't have an eloquent short and sweet description of what gender means to me or what my gender even is but I don't feel like I need one. all these posts I'm collecting in the tag come together and give the right overall vibe and that's cool with me

for a while I did feel like I needed to figure it all out or find an exact answer, and seeing other people be chill and and not worry about labels (for other aspects of identity too) helped me take a step back and not take it so seriously. now I allow myself to sort through things with more of a thought-experiment approach than a problem solving one which has been tremendously less stressful and interestingly (somehow?) more productive

[awakendreamersworld]

Here’s chapter 2! Maria

"Whoa!" Yelled a young siren as she was riding a dolphin through the neighborhood, obviously she didn't have control of it and just riding it like it was a rodeo. She was a 15 year old brunette girl bright amethyst eyes, small round nose, a U-shaped chin, flat cheeks and was wearing a ripped blue pageant dress. She had fins on her back like a shark, elbows and even on the sides of her tail, her tail looked like a triton but the edges were curved out and she had a small stinger right in the center. As she was trying to take control of the dolphin, the dolphin was going out of control, destroying baskets, crashing into homes, almost running into other murines, Maria was apologizing, saying "Excuse me!" or "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" then.... "MARIA!" Yelled her mother, Firtha, and with that yell the rampaging dolphin stopped and Maria fell off landing in the sea sand. "Hi Mama!" Said Maria with a smile trying to play off the fact that she's in trouble.... again. "Maria, where in the seven seas did you get a dolphin!?" Asked Firtha in a serious and worried tone as she shooed the dolphin away while escorting her daughter back to their home, "I, uh... well..." Maria stuttered "Maria." Firtha said sternly "You went above the depth again, didn't you?" Firtha asked, "No...?" Maria said hoping her mother wouldn't continue, but her mother is always clever and always knew. Firtha sighed, "Maria, how many times do I have to tell you? It's against the rules to go above our depth, above the sea level and above the ocean. You don't know the kinds of dangers that's up there!" Firtha warned Maria, "But Mama! I've been above the depth plenty of times! There's nothing dangerous up there!" Maria said, "And what about the sharks, hm? You don't know when one might see you and attack you! And just because you haven't seen anything dangerous yet doesn't mean there ISN'T anything dangerous up there cause there is!" Firtha said trying to explain to her daughter.

"But the 'danger' is all the way down here!" Maria argued,

"Like I said, 'that doesn't mean there isn't any up there!'" Firtha argued back,

"And exactly how far have you swam above our Abyssopelagic!?" Firtha questioned Maria

".... Above our Abyssopelagic zone." Maria said giving in

"How above, Maria?" Firtha said with another stern look

Maria sighed, "Up to the Bathypelagic Zone and almost to the Mesopelagic...? Heh..." Maria chuckled in a 'I'm so in trouble' kind of way.

"What!? You swam that far up there!? Maria, do you have any idea how many predators could've seen you!? Giant squids, octopuses, Sea Monsters, SHARKS!" Firtha yelled

"But Mama...!" Maria pleaded

"Maria! You must promise me you will NEVER swim that far above our depth again, do you understand!?" Firtha said

Maria didn't want to, but she could see the worry and fear in her mother's eyes so she sighed and said, "Yes Mama..."

Fitha kissed Maria on the head, "You know I'm only trying to protect you right? You've seen my soldiers go out there and come back with wounds only to become scars. Very, very bad and deep scars..." Firtha said,

"Yes Mama..." Maria said looking down.

Firtha looked at her daughter, lifted her head and smiled, "You know your a very brave and strong siren, right?"

"Yes Mama" Maria said,

"I just want you to be more careful, especially going above our ocean depths. The ocean may be our home, but its filled with all sort of monsters and colossal beasts!-"

"Like the Sea Emperor?" Maria asked,

"Exactly, remember the Reaper Leviathans that come here once?" Firtha reminded Maria,

"Yeah?" Maria said

"That's why we remain down here with the emperor, she protects us and we protect her." Firtha smiled and put her hand on Maria's cheek "And she doesn't have that long to live so... we need to be prepared and ready for anything." Maria nodded and Firtha Kissed her on the head and sent her to bed to get ready for school in the morning. The next day Firtha got her crab shell armor prepared for the day and went to wake up Maria for her first day of soldier training school. "Maria, sweetie, its time for school, get up!" She said trying to shake her sleeping daughter up, "Ugh... Mama... its too early!" Maria complained "Exactly! We soldiers always have to be prepared early, plus your gonna meet some new friends!" Firtha said trying to excite her sleepy daughter. Maria sighed and got up and got dressed wearing her ripped up backless blue pageant dress and put a sea star in her hair and swam with her mother to her school. Once there, Firtha had to leave Maria for her duties, "Your not coming with me?" Maria said a bit nervous "Don't be scared, Maria. It'll be okay, I promise!" Firtha said trying to calm Maria, "Okay..." Maria said and her mother gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye and left. Maria swam towards the rest of the class of girls and boys almost her age, younger and older, staring at the director waiting for him to give directions. "Hello, students! My name is Mr. Powell and I will be teaching you how to be our homes new protectors! But first, we have a new student who's here to join us today!" Mr. Powell said pointing to Maria to come up in front of the class and introduce herself. He was tall, had a mustache and wore big round glasses, he had a bald round head and a round belly as if he was pregnant. Maria was nervous, but went up anyways to introduce herself,

"Uhh... Hi, my name is Maria Rose." Maria said,

And the class all in unison said, "Hello, Maria!" and so did the teacher, "Hello. Maria! And welcome to our training school! Why don't you tell us about yourself? Any other family members you have that you would like to share to the class?" Mr. Powell Said,

"Um, well, there's my mother! Her name's Firtha and she's the guardian protector of the Sea Emperor and our home!" Maria said.

The class was in shock and started whispering to one another. "Wow, really!? What's she like? Is she really strong and able to take out sharks!?" Said one siren, "Did she actually kill that one shark through the eye the other day!?" Said another,

"All right! All Right! Settle down students!" Mr. Powell shouted and everyone silenced. "Well, Your mother sure is special, kiddo!" He said,

"Yeah, she sure is!" Maria said laughing,

"Okay, Everyone! Follow me!" Mr. Powell said and everyone started following him to a field with puppet sharks, they looked kind of real but with stitches and missing body parts, like they were zombies, they also had fake spears and armor, and fake bow and arrows.

"Okay class! Today we're gonna learn how to save a siren in trouble! Grab your spears and bows and arrows!" He said and everyone grabbed what they needed. "Okay class! I need a volunteer to be the Murine in danger, and one to be the defender! Emily! You be the Murine in danger!" Mr. Powell said. A young Murine came up and stood next to the teacher, she looked like she was Maria's age, and her hair was in a ponytail with bangs in front of her forehead and wore a jellyfish dress, she had two different eye colors though, one amethyst and one sapphire blue. That was weird, Maria had never seen a siren with different color eyes before, maybe she has an eye infection? "Now, I need a volunteer to be the protector!" Mr. Powell said, the started going "Oh! Me me me!" raising their hands, "Ok, ok! How about... Maria! Your new here so why don't we see what you got, hmm?" Mr. Powell said with a smile "Um, Ok?" Maria said nervously, and shyly went up and grabbed a fake weapon then went back next to the teacher and Emily, "Ok, now Emily, I'm going to grab one of these fake sharks and what I need you to do is lay on the ground and act scared and Maria will come and rescue you while attacking the shark, okay?" "Ok..." She said and went the ground putting her hand up in pretend fear while Mr. Powell started moving the fake shark. "Ok Maria, Now what I want you to do is to attack and destroy the shark puppet, don't worry, we have extras." He said, "Okay..." Maria said nervously, she remembers how her mother attacks and defends herself so she guessed that she'll use those to her advantage. The teacher then started to control the shark puppet making it look like it was going to attack with its mouth wide open with teeth getting ready to bite into Emily's flesh, Maria then dashed in front of the puppet shark and raised her spear then brought it down through its head where it came back out through the bottom of its jaw. "Wow! Excellent job, Maria!" Mr. Powell said cheerfully, Maria smiled and helped Emily up "You okay?" Maria asked "Yeah, I'm fine" Emily said with a small smile. The other students crowded around Maria cheering for her and chanting her name "Okay kiddos! Break time, go on and play!" The class cheered and rushed to the playground.

While everyone was heading towards the playground area, Emily stopped Maria to properly introduced herself, "Hi Maria! I know we've already met but I want to introduce myself better than back there, My name is Emily Stein!" She said sticking her hand out for Maria to shake, "Uh, hey Emily, are these three your other friends?" Maria asked as she pointed out the other three girls behind Emily. "Yes they are! This is Bianca Willow, Stacy lin and Alice Wimble! We've been friends since little fish school." Emily said introducing Maria to more friends. They all went and sat at a bench and talked, mostly about Maria's mother and how their big fans of her,

"Hey Emily." Maria said

"Hm?" Said Emily

"How do you have different color eyes? That's pretty cool!" Maria said amazed and interested, "Oh, um... I'm a hybrid" Emily said.

"What!? Really? Of what!?" Maria asked

"My dad is a Murine like us, but my mother is a Dorm Siren... We visit her sometimes so-" Emily began but was interrupted by Maria's excitement

"SO YOU GET TO GO ACROSS KINGDOMS!? ABOVE OUR DEPTHS!?" Maria shouted in excitement. This really was amazing to her! She thought that with Emily's help she might get to journey more across the ocean and some new things!

"Uhh, yeah?" Emily said

"This is amazing! When do you visit her? Can I come?" Maria asked just overjoyed

"Uhh, after the defender trials. I'd say sure but, what about your mother? I heard she can be very serious." Emily said with worry

"Don't worry about my mom! I'm sure she'll say yes!" Maria said overconfidently

When school was over, Maria went back home and told her mother about her new friends and asked if she could join one of their trips across the ocean. "No." Firtha said, "WHAT!? But-!" Maria began "Sweetie, I'm happy you've found new friends but you can't just jump into another's trip without taking precaution!" Firtha said with worry, "But I'm asking for you permission like I'm supposed to right?" Maria said hoping her mom would still agree "Yes, and I said 'no,' no means no, Maria." Firtha said, "UGH!" Maria angrily sighed and crossed her arms. Firtha sighed, "Maria, dear, I would love for you to see the entire ocean, even the surface! But its too dangerous, Mio Cara!" \\Italian meaning: My love/Darling// Firtha said trying to lift Maria's head to face her "Besides, we have the defender trials coming up so I'm pretty sure the trip would just be cancelled." She said trying to get Maria to understand "What's the defender trials?" Maria asked, "Well, since the Emperor's time is coming soon, she's set up a task for the chosen sirens to do in order for them to hatch her young, then her young will be the new Emperors to protect us and-" "Wait, the Sea Emperor is dying!?" Maria yelled, "Yes, she is, but her children will go through a portal to grow up and learn, but its a time portal! For them, it'll give them all the time they need and when their done they'll come back and stand in their mother's throne and it'll be their turn to defend us!" Firtha carried on hoping it would make her daughter change her mind about the dangerous trip "And how long will it take for us when they come back?" Maria asked "About a few minutes, but for now we need to be careful and prepared." Firtha said kissing her daughter on the forehead and sending her to bed.

Maria sighed, she couldn't help but think about how fun her friend's trip is going to be without her, so she came up with an idea. 'After all, Emily DID say that her trip would start AFTER the trials!' Maria thought.

Chapters: Chapter 1

[ssr-moonlore]

Washed Ashore: Part 2

Author’s comments: I wrote this basically in one sitting. I proofread a bit but it’s so late, so if there’s any obvious typos, let me know! Also, i hope you enjoy the picture of  Drang with Ferry’s pets having a snooze.

Rated T I guess? Nothing really happens, but I have no clue about ratings.

Word count :2206

Part 1

Drang was deep in thought as he swam towards the underwater city he called home. He couldn’t believe his luck, after being stuck on dry land for a week without being able to get out of the trap, he was sure he’d die, but he hadn’t. He thought back to the land dweller with hair the colour of dark corals.

She hadn’t tried to harm him, despite having heard stories from many others of his kind that the land-dwellers were often dangerous and protective of their non-watery territories and often clashed with each other, crabs, and anything unfortunate enough to be washed ashore.

The spires of the underwater city were coming into view, and despite being incredibly weak from his ordeal he made a dash for his clan’s residence. The sun was high in the sky and the rays illuminated his path as he dipped into a ravine and to the familiar gaps in the cliffs. He slowed, feeling his exhaustion catch up to him and with his last reserves of energy swam into the main hall. A few familiar faces greeted him, and one in particular swam up to him in alarm.

“I’m home…” Drang chirped weakly at the small but ancient water elemental before him. Matching golden eyes peered at him with concern, and her wild blue waves surrounded them as her small hands reached to grasp his arms.

“Where have you been, Drang?! We’ve been so worried!” The slight water elemental’s brows furrowed as she looked Drang over, inspecting the small cuts and wounds littering his body. He wasn’t as dry any more, but his skin was still not back to its usual state.

“I… I got caught in one of the land dweller’s nets and I got washed onto some rocks. I was trapped for a while, but then I managed to get… rescued?” Drang pondered his words for a moment before continuing, “I’m sorry for making you worry, Ferry.” He hung his head down and took a deep breath, relishing the feeling on having cool water rush past his gills after being above water for so long.

Ferry looked up at Drang, and the concern on her face, while still there, had slowly begun to melt. She didn’t want any more of her clan to perish, least of all someone who came from the same magical vein as her.

Her small hands began to drag the larger figure deeper into the hall, and through winding caverns until the two of them reached a small cavern adorned with bulbous lights, countless gems, and an immeasurably large hollowed out shell filled with soft folded over kelp. Ferry swam over to the shell and pushed Drang towards it.

“Sleep. You look awful. You must have gone through a lot.” She put her hand to Drang’s head and gently petted him as he curled up on the soft kelp. He didn’t remember his bed being this soft, but then again, he never really noticed how nice being in water was. His one golden eye began to close, but opened when a small array of creatures stormed into his room.

Ferry swam up from the bed trying to shoo her pets away, but they swam past her and towards Drang excitedly.

“Guys, no! He needs to sleep!” Ferry grabbed onto the biggest of her four pets, but the force of the hulking creature dragged her along with him. “Beppo! No, stop!”

Drang gave a chuckle as his face was assaulted by fins and tongues. Ferry’s pets had clearly missed his presence, and the unusually long absence had been unbearable to them. Drang gave a moment of attention to each of them, and as their excitement subsided, some of the smaller critters began to curl up around him and snooze, unwilling to leave him out of their sights.

Ferry gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head, but looked up with a small smile at the scene unfolding before her. Drang, curled up with all manner of small creatures, had quickly fallen asleep. The small water elemental swam out of the room softly, and let the bead curtains fall over the doorway. Her clan was safe and accounted for, and Drang, though slightly injured, had come home after having been missing for a while.

 He dreamt. The small horned land-dweller had been the focus of most of his dreams. Her piercing amber eyes and silent manner had been burnt into the back of his mind. He dreamt of that steely grip she had on him, harsh and unyielding, yet somehow soft. His mind kept replaying the scenes of her reaching for her weapons, but instead of hurting, she freed him.

He couldn’t get the vision of her out of his dreams.

 Drang awoke hours later, though he had felt like he had slept for days. He was still covered in Ferry’s pets, and as he stirred, all four of them let out an array of grumbles, chirps and clicks. He stretched out his arms, and for the first time in days he had the chance to properly inspect himself.

He brushed a hand over his tail, and grimaced at the scratched scales. They would renew soon, but he didn’t like the marred look of them. As he looked over his arms he scowled at the state of them. His skin was much more damaged than he had originally thought, and his left sleeve had completely torn off.

He sighed with dismay and proceeded to remove the metal cuffs and curves that he wore, and left his room to try and find other ones he could adorn himself with. His room was small, and didn’t offer many storage solutions, but he knew he had some backups somewhere in the store-rooms in the clan’s caverns.

As he slowly swam out of his room and through the meandering tunnels, he came across a few of his “sisters” and they started clamouring at him, fussing over his wounds and his lack of jewellery.

They pulled him along and as they reached a hall-like cavern, they began to brush his hair and scales, and several pairs of hands lit up to heal any cracked scales and small cuts. Drang had never liked being fussed over by his family, but with how isolated he had been over the last week, he relished the feeling of being taken care of.

After what seemed like an eternity to him, he had finally had enough, and with being healed of his wounds and decked out in new clothes and jewels, he made a dash for the other caverns and to the main hall to find Ferry.

He had never enjoyed bed rest, and he knew it was probably wisest to stay home and not exert himself, but his curiosity had grown following his dream about the coral-headed land dweller who had cut him from his binds and thrown him back into the sea, rough as it may have been. He weaved through the narrow tunnels until he appeared at the main hall, and he instantly found the cloud of cerulean he was looking for.

Ferry was deep in meditation, but felt the waters stir and she turned to see Drang gingerly approaching her.

“Up already?” She chirped at him. Drang nodded slowly. “I can see that my descendants got their hands on you.”

Drang sighed, and gave a chuckle. “Yeah, they did. I had to run away to get away from their grips.”

Ferry gave him a small smile. But it quickly faded when she noticed the minute signs that Drang was antsy. She knew he never liked staying home, and that exploring was what kept him from going crazy, but she had her reservations about him leaving already. Her eyebrows pulled together and she took a deep breath.

“You want to go out already,” Ferry was calm, but her voice was riddled with concern. “You just came back after being missing for a week.”

“I know, I know,” Drang started. “But… see, there’s this land-dweller who rescued me.”

Ferry’s concern grew at those words. He mentioned being rescued, but nothing about a land dweller.

Drang meanwhile had started talking excitably, as he did when he found something new in the depths of the ocean. “Her hair was the colour of corals! I’ve never seen anything like it, and her eyes? They looked like gemstones the way they were shining. And she was so small!”

Ferry put a hand up to stop Drang from speaking.

“You want to go see this.. land-dweller? Are you sure that she won’t just attack you if you approach?” She had grown incredibly concerned at the thought of having Drang go near a land-dweller, after hearing so many stories of how violent these creatures were in some part of the seas.

“She saved me. She cut me out of the net and even threw me back into the sea. I don’t… I don’t think she would attack me.” Drang began. “I could tell with how easily she picked me up that she’s incredibly powerful, but she did me no harm!”

Ferry sighed and closed her eyes, lowering her hand. She knew that at this point there was no way to convince Drang to stay at home and not go and see this unpredictable creature, but she wasn’t happy with the results.

“I can’t stop you, but don’t approach her too quickly. Stay away from her and watch from a distance, you don’t know if she might attack you.” She breathed out.

Drang’s smile grew into the mischievous smile she knew and loved, and before she could say another word, Drang had already slipped through a tunnel and out of the room.

 He sped through the tunnels and out into the ravine, and as he swam upwards to the surface, he noticed the big round moon in the sky. He broke the surface and admired the way the moon and stars glistened in the sky, but quickly refocused on the task he had given himself.

He began to swim towards the island where he had been trapped. It wasn’t particularly far, but he had to navigate with the stars to find the small land mass. He noticed a large structure that he figured was the land dweller’s boat, and next to it he saw a small shining speck. As he approached, he couldn’t quite understand what the light was, as the red and orange hues were unfamiliar to him, but with the light it provided he could see the land-dweller curled up against the boat. He inched closer and could make out her hair, the colour of the sky during sunset, and how small she actually was.  

He stayed there, silently for a while, watching her steady breathing. He kept moving closer until he was in the shallow waters, sand brushing against his chest as he crept up the beach. The light flickered and danced across her face, and he noticed how peaceful and soft she looked. It was such a stark contrast to the harsh and steely expression she had when she was cutting him out of the net.

Drang couldn’t help but feel his heart drum in his chest as he began to crawl onto the sand. This was the same feeling he got every time he found something new during his explorations.

He was ignoring everything Ferry had told him, but he couldn’t help it. She was definitely one of the most beautiful things he had come across, despite having found gems and gold and riches unimaginable in the old ships of the land dwellers.

Drang was now a few strides away from Sturm, and at this point he noticed that the light was warm. He was momentarily distracted by the light and wasn’t aware that he had let out a small sound when he suddenly saw the bundled-up figure stirring.

Her eyes opened slowly and she blinked a couple of times before instinctively reaching for a harpoon and backing up toward the boat. In the same heartbeat Drang had already tried moving back towards the sea but his body wasn’t built for moving on sand.

He looked back in a panic and saw an expression of confusion on the face of the land dweller. He quickly moved his hands but his weak arms weren’t pulling him fast enough. He noticed the figure stand up and at that point Drang felt his insides grow cold as she held her weapon towards him.

In his panicked state, he couldn’t think of a better way of moving faster, so he started rolling himself across the beach, something he’d seen Beppo do in the past. As he did, he let out a steady stream of pleas of mercy and apologies and as he hit the water and swam a safe distance away, he looked back and noticed the figure staring at him, and as their gazes locked, he could hear her starting to laugh and shake her head as she sat back down and put her weapon to the side.

Drang kept looking at her for a few moments, but decided that this had been a dangerous enough endeavour and he dipped his head back underwater and started to swim towards home.

[jumbledemootion]

Top 7 Kyle Broflovski moments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE

I’m not kidding when I say I spent a year on this list. The first list I created was for Cartman (July 1st) so I knew I had pretty much a year to think about Kyle’s. Plenty of time, right? Pft. How can I pick just seven moments for a character I love so much? I mean there’s one scene in Cartman Sucks when Kyle just goes “ugh,” and walks away that I love like crazy. Is it enough to be considered a favorite moment? Ah! I didn’t know. I also felt obligated to pick a Kyle and Ike moment, a Kyle and Stan moment, a Kyle and Cartman moment, and Kyle and Kenny moment. In addition, how can not include a famous Kyle speech. But ultimately I went with moments that I love and didn't feel obligated to pick. I will eventually be doing a list for Kyle speeches and individual friendship Kyle moments. 

I believe I went through ten rounds with this list, constantly eliminating and adding. I even had to bring in friends to help listen to my thought process and offer advice. I can’t emphasize this list was hard and I know my top 7 will probably not match with many of you Kyle Broflovski fans out there.

7. “Yeah it was like 4 days ago.”

It is such a small moment but every time I lose it. It happens at the end of Child Abduction Isn’t Funny when the parents are all shocked their kids have become Mongolians. Clyde’s dad, Richard says “kids you use to live here with us,” and Kyle in his often frustrated self, huffily retorts back “yeah it was like four day ago.” I think because it’s an example of Kyle’s hotheadedness or maybe that he doesn’t give a fuck that he’s calling out the stupidity in someone else’s parent. Either way I always laugh. 

6. Kyle farting

Second episode of the whole series, Stan is upset is Uncle Jimbo is bonding more with Kenny. How does his best friend comfort him? By farting. I laugh every time. I’m so mature.

5. “Then it cancels out the gay polarity” 

Kyle just being a little shit and fucking with Cartman.  I like this scene because of how matter of fact Kyle is able to play the line and ends with him going “idiot”. Simple scene but I love it.

4. Kyle trying to protect his family 

For all the hate season 20 got I could probably make a top 7 Kyle moments just based on this season alone. I had Danish Kyle on this list originally but eventually decided to pick this story line over a moment that made me squee. Starting from when Kyle runs off with Ike all the way until the last frame of the finale, Kyle, and I have to include Ike, just kicked ass.

3. History Channel Thanksgiving

I’ve mentioned before on in another list, this is my favorite episode. One of the reasons is Kyle alone. The whole Kyle of DeVry Institute, I crack up every time. His sarcastic, angry remarks are praised as genius. . Also, him taking Natalie Portman on a date and his trademark “ugh” when asking her to open up her wormhole and she refuses always gets me.

2. Kyle being gullible in Willzyx

I love this episode because Kyle normally is the smart one of the group and for him to fall for this trick I can’t help but love. He’s just adorable with his excitement and fortitude to save Willzyx. I love episodes where the boys are being boys and this episode focuses a little more on Kyle. Plus the ending with Kyle saying good bye to Willzyx, the ALF giving their speech as the rocket ship takes off and the boys cheering, I love it.  Then the episode ends with Kyle and the other boys proud of the good they’ve done, believing the whale is happy back on the moon and cut to the whale dead.

1. Kyle in South Park is Gay

This episode was one of the first on my list and when I started to sort and pick why for each I found overwhelming reasons for loving this episode alone. We get to see Kyle dressed in a metro-sexual outfit, Kyle decides being himself is more important than fads, Kyle getting beaten up, murderous Kyle, Mr. Slave busting through the window (yeah I know it’s not Kyle but come on fucking hilarious), Kyle proudly proclaiming "You'll never turn ME into a metrosexual! I like being a dirty, filthy little boy!”, Kyle getting a crab make over, and for some reason my heart melts the why Kyle happily yells “mom” and runs over to hug her. The whole episode mashed so many things I love about Kyle such as his ability to stand up against the norm added with his tendency to overboard like in The List and the dash of him happily hugging his Sheila when he’s rescued.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE

[imagine-darksiders]

Could you please please pleaaase do a scenario with the Horsemen + Azrael where their S/O took them out for a day on the beach and they want to go swimming and/or rockpooling with them?

Azrael: “Where did you say we were going?” 

Your angelic friend followed you from the little car park at the top of a tall cliff towards an old, well-worn path that lead down its rocky face. You grin up at him, elatedly swinging your net to and fro, hefting your blanket up into a tighter grip.

“Well, I thought you deserved some R and R. Especially after that whole apocalypse fiasco,” you shudder, treading carefully down the path. Azrael hums behind you.

“Are and are?” he asks. You titter cheerfully, smelling the salt on the air and feeling the excitement flood through you with each crashing wave.

“Rest and relaxation,” you explain.

You both round the corner as you reach the bottom of the pathway and Azrael lets out a quiet sound of wonder. Smiling up at him, you notice the way his jaw has fallen open ever so slightly, his wingtips rustling in the breeze and nostrils flaring as he takes in the scent of the sea.

“First time visiting a human beach, Azrael?” you wonder aloud, watching children stop their playing and stare at your little duo.

“Unfortunately, yes….” the angel breathes, eyes finding the blue of the horizon where it moulds so perfectly with the ocean line.

“Well then?” you begin to run towards the water, “What are we waiting for?!” Azrael watches you take off running, and, infected with your sudden burst of enthusiasm, he smiles widely, treading onto the soft, warm sand and following after you, albeit far more gracefully. He reaches you as you draw to a stop next to a cluster of rocks, laying your blanket down over the sand. The angel hovers close by as you clamber up onto one of the rocks, suddenly beckoning him over frantically.

He blinks but is at your side in mere moments, peering down at what you’re trying to show him. The angel’s eyes widen when he spots it. There’s a pool in the rocks, just deep enough to reach your knees, filled with creatures of various shapes and sizes. They scuttle and swim from the shadow you both cast and Azrael lets out an intrigued sound. “Aren’t they wonderful?” he says to you, turning to see you pluck one of the tiny creatures from its home.

“They are,” you agree, thrusting the wriggling thing into his hands, “Ever seen a crab before?”

Azrael did his very best not to drop the poor thing, unnerving as it was to have it practically thrown at him. He stares into its beady eyes and the crab merely stares back, waving its pincers in the air.

“I have not yet had the pleasure…” the angel smiles at it, before gently lowering his hand back into the pool and allowing the tiny thing to scurry off, pausing only a moment to flick its eyes up at him before disappearing under a rock.

As he straightens up, Azrael notices you gazing at him with a lopsided grin so he turns fully to face you.

“Is something wrong?” he raises a snowy eyebrow down at you.

“No, no. It’s nothing…,” you murmur, “Want to sit and watch the sea for a while?” you ask him.

“My dear, I would like nothing more,” Azrael’s gentle smile fills you with affection as you hop down off the rocks and settle on the blanket, facing the sea. The angel drifts down shortly afterwards, sitting next to you with his bright white eyes staring out at the boundless water.

“Thank you…” he says after a while, “I think R and R and some quality time with you is exactly what I needed.” You couldn’t quite stop your mile wide smile. 

Death: “Come on in, Death!” you call from the shallows, “The water’s great!” 

“Er, thanks but I’ll pass,” came the short reply from the horseman on the shore, who looked for all the world as though he’d rather do anything else.

You roll your eyes, swimming further out into the deep, eliciting a sharp, barked order from your guardian, “Y/n, don’t go out too far. I don’t want to have to rescue you from drowning, of all things.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you call back, when all of a sudden, an idea popped into your head. A risky, wicked, cruel idea. But it’s embedded now, and damned if you would ever be rid of it. Without warning, you took as deep a breath as you could and plunged into the salty water, holding yourself under for as long as possible.

It really didn’t take as much time as you thought it would to get a reaction. Death had taken his eyes off you for a moment to watch Dust get in a fight with a seagull, but when he turned back, you’d disappeared. Death felt a chill run through him when he lost sight of you. Not even thinking, he dashed forward into the ocean. Propelling himself along, the horseman reached the place where he thought you’d disappeared, reaching under the waves and catching hold of something soft and warm. He pulled it hard and up it came, spluttering and giggling. The horseman gave you a disbelieving glare, expertly treading water as he shook you by the shoulders.

“What were you thinking, Y/n?!” he cried, “Foolish human, do you have any idea how worr-” He’s cut off by the sound of you laughing loudly.

“Oh come on Death, it was a little funny,” you protest, “Besides, you’re swimming with me, that’s all I wanted.” Death looked down at himself, then at you before he griped to himself quietly. 

“You, Y/n, will be the one that sends me to an early grave,” he teased, releasing your shoulders. You cackled wickedly at him, sending a splash of water into the unsuspecting horseman’s mask. 

“To be honest Death, I think you’re well past your due date anyway, at this point an early grave would be the kindest option,” your smile stretched your mouth wide, but it dropped in a split second at the look on Death’s face. His eyes were narrowed to slits and without warning, he dove under the water. 

You froze, treading water lightly and looking around for the horseman. 

“Death!?” you called, “Come on now, lets not-” You let out an undignified shriek when something grabbed your foot. You kicked and screamed back towards shore, shaking the thing loose. 

Beachgoers turned in your direction at the sound of screaming, shielding their eyes from the bright sun and squinting over to your figure as it zooms from the ocean and up the sandy beach, closely followed by one of those infamous, towering horsemen who emerged from the water like a monster from the deep. Then, they would swear up and down that they witnessed him strolling up to you, only to have you beat him up with a flipflop before he throws you over his shoulder and tosses you back into the sea. 

War: “You’re going to roast,” you point out to the towering horseman striding along behind you with a heavy step. He raises a snowy eyebrow down at you and you chuckle at his silent sarcasm. 

“Yeah, okay. You can survive immolation, but surely you must feel a little uncomfortable in the heat?” you ask, wiping your brow and flicking sunglasses down over your eyes. The stoic horseman offered a noncommittal grunt and squinted up at some of the seagulls flying overhead. 

You reach the edge of the quiet, secluded beach and step onto the hot, white sand. Instantly, you flash a smile up at your companion before slipping your shoes off, grabbing them, then running full pelt onto the beach proper, whooping all the way. War simply stared after you, looking around at the empty beach before stomping after you, grimacing when his boots sunk heavily into the sand. He looked down at his feet a moment as he went to take a step, spotting a crab scuttling underneath it. Frowning, War shooed it away with the toe of his boot then stepped where it had just been. 

When the horseman looked up to find you, he noted that you’d gone. To his dying day, War would deny that he ever felt a rush of panic at having lost sight of you. He scoured the beach with his eyes, thundering down towards the water. 

He almost sighed aloud with relief when he heard you call for him. 

“Hey War! Come check out these caves!” 

Grumbling, the horseman plodded over to the entrance of a large cave set into the protruding cliff face. The opening met the ocean, meaning that there was at least 2 feet of water inside. Rumbling, War waded inside and saw you, resting on your hands and knees atop a rock, peering into the darkness ahead. You turned to beam at him. 

“How deep do you think they go?” you ask breathlessly. War heaves himself onto the rock beside you, muttering “Don’t run off again...” You roll your eyes and turn back to gazing at the dripping tunnel. 

“You’re not going down there,” your horseman friend states, placing a hand on your back as if to stop you from galloping off down the cave. 

“War!” you ignore his warning, “There’s a pool down here!” you squeal, and before he can stop you, you’ve slipped from his grasp and let yourself drop into the water below you. The drop was only a few feet and the water in the pool at least 8, allowing you to swim easily around in the dark liquid. War growled at your rambunctiousness but drops into the water next to you, looking hilariously startled when his toes only barely scraped the sandy bottom. You laugh at his shocked expression and swim over to him, bopping him on the nose as you pass. War scowls and swims after you as you retreat across the pool. 

The afternoon passes slowly whilst you and the horseman spend an undetermined amount of time in that cave. You dub it ‘War and Y/n’s secret Clubhouse,’ much to War’s amusement.

You’re both perched on a rock, showing War how hard it is to remove limpets, when suddenly, the light changes. You turn around and gasp. 

“Oh War, look at that sunset!” you breathe. He turns to see what you’re getting excited over, a strange sense of calm falling over him when he sees you silhouetted against the dying sun, golden and orange rays of light hitting the water and bouncing off your hair. 

You sit together in silence for a while, watching the sun sink lower and lower in the sky, wary of the rising tide but not quite ready to leave just yet. You trust that War won’t let you get swept away. 

Strife: You arrive at the seaside and stand with your hands held wide, turning to Strife and beaming. “Well? What do you think?” you ask. The horseman allows his eyes to wonder over the packed beach, sweeping his gaze left and right.

“I think….” he says, placing his finger under his chin in mock thought, “I wanna go check out that thing!” He points up into the distance and you follow his finger, finding your gaze settling on a large rock that climbed high into the air, probably reaching around 30 feet high.

“Why not?” you shrug, walking towards it, but before you can make it 3 steps, Strife is bounding ahead of you, calling back over his shoulder “Come on, Y/n!” He hurdles sunbathers and sandcastles, stopping only to pluck an unfortunate young boy out of a deep, sandy hole his brothers had dug as a trap.

You follow his path, enthused by his energy and grinning madly as you apologise to everyone he’d raced past. 

Strife waits for you at the bottom of the large rock, staring up at it before glancing down at you. “Think you can handle the climb kiddo?” he teases. 

“Oh you’re on old man,” you quip, snaking past him to begin clambering up the jagged surface. 

Strife sputters, “Ol-old man!? Hey! Death’s the old man, okay. I’m the cool guy.” He starts climbing after you, making a sound of unbridled hurt when you wave your hand in a ‘so so’ motion. You continue your ascent, quietly wondering why Strife hadn’t overtaken you yet, he’s usually so competitive. The horseman, for his part, was staying behind you deliberately for the sole purpose of catching you should you lose your footing, definitely not because he’s enjoying the view…..Honest.. 

You pull yourself onto the flat top of the rock, peering over the edge at the water below. 

“Woah,” Strife murmurs behind you and you look up at him to see the horseman staring out at the sea beyond. There are sail boats cresting the line between sea and sky, the water practically glistens in the midday sun and you’re almost certain, as cliche as it sounds, that you can feel the ocean pulling you by your soul towards it, it almost feels like coming home. 

“You feel that too?” Strife asks, breaking your quiet concentration. You nod up at him, not entirely sure what he’s referring to; whether he felt the same otherworldly pull that you did or if he meant the wind playing with his jagged hair. 

The horseman plops down on the ledge, legs dangling over it as though tempting gravity. He pats the space of rock next to him, so you sit down there, also swinging your legs off the edge and letting them hang there. Strife peers sideways down at you, smirking. He places his hand on your side and drags you closer to him, chuckling when you gasp and grab the rock behind you for balance. 

“Relax,” he mutters into your ear, “M’not gonna let you fall.” 

“I know,” you admit, leaning into his side and enjoying this moment of respite from his usually hectic life. 

Fury: “It’s beautiful,” she breathes, standing beside you. Reaching out a hand, she rests in on your shoulder as you both stare over the cliff face, down onto the golden beach below and the wild ocean beyond. 

You smile up at her, gesturing to the stone steps that lead down onto the sand and she nods, trailing behind you as you take them. Fury and you reach the bottom of the steps and she sighs deeply at the feel of the soft sand below her feet. 

“Oh, Y/n,” she starts, “this is so wonderfully unexpected.” You lead the way towards the ocean. “Here I thought we’d be catching up on those episodes you’ve been showing me.” 

“Wait for it,” you smirk up at her, “We’re watching those tonight!” 

“Oh, that’s a relief, I’ve been dying to know what happened after the last one.” Fury’s shoulders sag with relief as you come to a stop just before the water meets your feet. She watches you remove your flip flops before taking a step into the water, letting the waves rush over your legs and you let out a contented sigh. 

“Wow, that feels nice, you should try this Fury,” you mention to the horseman beside you, who just grins. 

“Perhaps later, but I believe I know someone who wouldn’t mind trying it out.” She steps back and you can almost feel the energy between worlds ripple through the air. There’s a near blinding flash of light and a shrieking whinny, then Fury’s horse erupts from the ground, tossing it’s spectral man. The horse gives its rider a guttural whicker, glancing around for danger. 

“Hush, this is our day off,” the horseman soothes the beast, pulling herself onto its saddle and holding her hand out towards you. “Well,” she asks, “Are you coming?”

Flashing Fury a wide smile, you grab her hand and allow her to pull you up onto the saddle behind her. You wrap your arms around her stomach and rest your head on her shoulder, quivering with excitement. Her horse matches your exhilaration, squealing at the water that topples around its hooves when the waves break over its legs.

Fury turns to look at you over her shoulder, offering you a wink, “Hold on!” she calls. Turning back to lean down close, she whispers into her horse’s ears, “Go have fun…” 

The violent rear makes you grip the horseman’s waist even tighter, hair whipping back as her steed thunders along the shoreline, drawing stares from other beachgoers and causing gulls to scatter into the air, shrieking almost as loudly as you are. Fury laughs gleefully in front of you, reaching your ears despite the wind whipping past at breakneck speed. You stare in wonder over her shoulder at the horizon, at the sky meeting the sea meeting the land. The water bursts around you and you’re hit with the cool sea spray as her steed launches itself deeper into the ocean. 

You hurtle past people who whoop and holler after you, making you blush at the amount of attention that’s on your trio. The horse doesn’t let up until Fury gently coaxes it back to a steady trot. She whips her hair back and gasps happily. 

“I haven’t run like that in millennia!” she calls back to you. “Y/n, we’ll have to come here again.” You nod against her shoulder, hair wild and face flushed. 

“Yes we will,” you cheer.