#so even if you don't understand make sure to not discriminate against ppl

[pigswithwings]

i barely understand xenogenders how tf do they work

you know how people like doing things that make them feel more Gender. for example a lady growing her hair out because it makes her feel more feminine and like herself and happier. or a trans person who has a complicated identity using multiple terms to refer to themself (nonbinary and trans and butch and lesbian and gay). gender expression is very complicated like that. but usually people tend to latch onto things they connect to and make them happy, and having a xenogender is basically like this. like there's a person who goes oh i like nature. i connect a lot with plants and i want to emulate them as part of my identity. identifying with nature makes me happy. and then they go and get themselves a xenogender that has to do with plants. that's all

[neo91502]

small intro

I'm Neo and I'm aroace and non-binary, go by they/he!!

you can basically find me anywhere by searching Neo91502 or neoinnit (mostly Neo91502 since that's my main user!! although I'm not very active anywhere else and has probably outdated things)

I'll post random fanart or whatever, most likely to do with SMG4 or other fandoms I love or just my own things (other fandoms maybe like pikmin or pokemon or rayman or even more idk it all changes!!!)

I also do write and might post about it here (ao3 acc is neoinnit if you want to go find and read what i've written already!! only smg4 so far out of the fandoms I'm into right now!)

you can ask me to draw things and whatnot!!

However! I will say that I can and will decline/delete asks that are uncomfy or what I will not do! if it's ships, it does depend on what it is!! this mostly applies to mxm because I see them as siblings!! love multi shipping or erm guys i forgot what it's called ... �� you understand surely...

to do with ships since SMG4 is a large fandom or whatever, I'll most likely be posting mostly SMG34 so erm if you don't like that, then you don't need to be on my profile, simple as that to just avoid it if you don't like it!!

ppl who discriminate and whatnot against others can kindly go fuck off and leave me alone ‼️ please just be a decent person and not someone shitty!!

I don't have all that much to say, I might make a better intro some day, I just like silly little gay people and drawing them and writing about them

I will use emojis i need to express Emotions!!! I don't like sounding dry and bland 😢 I also use a lot of exclaimation marks to help express emotion as well :D

Tags

art by myself - #my art - #neofart

asks - #neo91502 - #neosaskbox

reblogged art - #not my art

reblog - #reblog

non-art/posts/updates - #neo rambles

writing/fics - #neo writes - #neo fics

fart.

[djuvlipen]

The whole slavic anon talk got me thinking, but I don't do original posts so I thought maybe you'd like this little thinkpiece/explanation. Don't feel the need to respond.

Slavic radbrl's extreme defensiveness over being accused of racism/"mixed up with the rest of white people" points me to extreme disconnection from their own community with a pinch of being terminally online. Navigating the power dynamic where you're white but not white enough to be considered part of the "civilized world" is hard and can be painful at times, which is why you'd see slavic people trying so hard to stick with poc with the whole "we're not like other white people" rhetoric. Because xenophobia is never talked or taken about seriously they can't explain why we're treated like that by western europeans, so searching for community with poc just makes sense to them. You see the word racism used by slavic ppl instead of what it actually is (xenophobia) for the exact same reason.

(also, there's legitimate movements to recognise slavic people as people of color, most of them seem to be spearheaded as Ukrainians or people of Ukrainian ancestry, which is not a coincidence imo)

Getting a reality check that yeah, you're still an opressor class, actually, sets off a defensive response in many people because they've personally never gotten the privileges of being a part of the opressor class (or, yknow. Never realised they did), which makes sense, but honestly I'd expect a better attitude from the community that seems to understand how intersectionality works.

But there's also this disconnect where slavic people tend to be very distant from our (admittedly pretty ugly) history and culture, only nit-picking the bits they like, because the rest of it reminds them that we ultimately live in a culture that is incredibly misogynist, racist, homophobic and xenophobic, which doesn't fit with the idea of being that perfect victim a lot of slavic ppl on the internet strive to be.

There's this idea that the only way to gain sympathy from the west (which we subconsciously aim for despite all out sneers at them because sometimes it feels like it's the only way for our countries to survive, and sometimes it actually is) is to make them realise we never actually "deserved" the way we treated. Facing all the pain we've caused to Roma and Jewish people and countless other nations makes you doubt and think that maybe you *did* deserve that - which is a very wrong way to go to begin with, but it's just easier to distance yourself from your history - your responsibility - and live in that comfy little bubble where your people never done any wrong because understanding that we still don't deserve the shit we get from the west despite all this, but at the same time should finally take some action against racism and discrimination we take part in today and at least apologise for what we did in the past takes some damn reflexion and mental resource and thought not all people are capable of. Especially not those who came to radbrl to escape the already painful reality with having to deal with Eastern European men, lol.

Not an excuse, of course, this phenomenon just seems very interesting to me personally since I observe it often in real life too.

(also the whole "slavic countries, aside from Russia" thing just feels so pretentious to me as a Ukrainian. I'd bet some serious money these people only mean Russia's attitude towards Ukraine that came to light recently and maybe other Eastern European countries, but not the North Asian native people that Russian colonised and killed because they wouldn't have even added that little "except Russia" to the list of they knew their own country's history with racism, which I'm sure there is some. Also, all that aside, is Russia not overwhelmingly slavic with slavic mindset and culture anyway? What's your reason for putting it aside like that, anon? Uncomfortable with the fact they're part of our ethnicity? Yeah, me too.)

Hi! Thank you for your input. You made a lot of good points, especially regarding the lack of education about xenophobia, and I don't think I can add much besides saying 'yeah that's true', especially since I'm a Westerner it wouldn't be fair of me to speak over you.

However as a Romani woman there are some parts where I disagree with you. I don't think Slavic people are trying to stick with people of colour by saying they are not like other white people. To me the very statement that Slavic people aren't like other white people is baffling. We can agree that Slavic people face xenophobia and persecution in the West based on the idea that they are not white *enough*, but the emphasis here is on "enough". They are still white and they have historically oppressed Romani people and they continue to do so. I don't see Slavic people distancing themselves from whiteness as an attempt at solidarity with poc. Roma have faced and still face institutionalized segregation, police brutality, forced sterilization, being put in ghettos, being denied access to school and healthcare, they never got compensation for slavery or for the pogroms and massacres they survived. Because the majority of us (esp. in Eastern Europe) are visibly brown and have a dark skin. Slavic people can't relate to that and the fact that they still continue to be so racist against Roma (like, the situation of Roma in Eastern Europe is so appalling, human rights violations are being committed against Roma everyday and we all know it) yet think of themselves as different from other white people is laughable at best. I am not only talking about myself here, all the other Romani women I've talked to on the matter echoed that sentiment and some were way, way less polite than I am when talking about this, because they live(d) in Eastern European countries and they have experienced racism first hand.

The idea that Slavic people are somehow different from other white people lies on the idea that racism against Roma is less reprehensible that racism against other people of colour. Slavic people who argue they are different from white westerners say they never colonized third world countries and say they never enslaved black Africans. So they recognize that racism against third world people and black people is bad. But they can't apply the same thinking when it comes to racism against Roma.

For the same reason, I wouldn't say Slavic people who say this are nit-picking bits of their history to leave aside the parts they don't like. I think it's actively rewriting history to try and pretend Slavic people were never racist against Roma to the same extent white westerners were to other poc. And this erasure has deep consequences on the lives of Roma today: they still haven't gotten reparation for slavery and we barely got any reparation for the Holocaust. The reason white people erase anti-Roma racism from history is because they don't want to compensate us and they don't want to acknowledge anti-Roma racism is bad, because they hate us. And the idea that Slavic people were not like other white people or were even people of colour (ridiculous considering that they have a white skin) has been used to silence acknowledging the severity of anti-Roma racism. Years ago when I was talking about Czech policemen kneeling on a Romani man's neck and smothering him to death, Czech users replied by insulting me, saying I was racist against Czech people, put me on blocklists, and then sent me anon hate telling me my whole family should be shot and Europe should be cleaned of gypsies.

So I think the main characteristic of that "not like other whites" phenomenon is how it erases the history of anti-Roma racism and acts like it isn't as bad as what other poc go through when Romani rights are constantly violated every other day in Slavic countries. But I do agree with a lot of what you are saying, I don't think Slavic people's anti-Roma racism or antisemitism should be used to justify persecuting them, and I agree that more people should be aware of how xenophobia is and works. I agree that there must be a lot of psychological reasons behind this phenomenon, you highlighted them very well and it was very interesting!

[darklinaforever]

What do you think is gonna happen in S3 and/or what do you expect? I hope the Darkling comes back of course but if authors plan to make him come back just for Alina and everyone else to keep mistreating him, it's better for him to stay dead of course. It's just my opinion oc, perhaps others wanna see him no matter what, but I'm very protective of my favourite characters so if he has to come back just to play Alina's punching bag I'd rather not. Honestly, what do these authors have against the Darkling? They keep treating him like shit as if he was the worst scumbag ever, when he's just a guy who of course made huge mistakes but he had reasons that made sense, reasons deeply rooted in a painful past of suffering, loss, discrimination and persecution. Authors made Alina completely unable to feel empathy toward him, made her clearly say there is no redemption for him... why are they so biased? They clearly want to manipulate the audience through Alina's words, they want us to hate him so that they could shove that M*lina shit down our throats without complains. Well, it's not gonna work. Let's be honest, most ppl watch the series thanks to The Darkling and despite the fact that it's perfectly clear that authors don't want Darklina to be endgame, Darklina is more pupular than boring (show) and toxic (books) M*lina. I just hope that S3 is gonna explore Alina's dark side and turn her into a 'monster' in order to protect people so that she could finally be in in the Darkling's shoes and understand his position because her lack of empathy pissed me off to no end. You need to live a situation before judging. But istg if authors plan to have Mal as the light to balance Alina's darkness and guide her to the right path, I'm seriously gonna vomit. Alina and the Darkling are clearly two sides of the same coin, in S2 ending we had Alina using the shadow cut just like Aleksander, it was a clear parallel between them. So this could be a good time to explain how these two balance each other perfectly, like, there's some light in Aleksander's darkness just like there is some darkness in Alina's light. They could save each other. This of course if authour weren't biased af toward the Darkling/Darklina, pretty sure we're gonna have the shitty M*lina outcome oc.

Basically, I'm not expecting anything in particular for the future. I have little hope. But there are things that I definitely want and hopefully will be there :

▪︎Resurrection of the Darkling.

▪︎That Alina is entitled to a real arc of corruption.

▪︎Scenes from Darklina ! Show that Alina regrets killing Aleks. That somewhere, he misses him. That we have new emotional scenes between them worthy of season 1, as well as at least 1 more kiss.

▪︎That Alina understood that NO fuck, the hatred of the world was not the Darkling's fault and that she was already present before !

▪︎That Alina finally understands the Darkling's point of view.

▪︎Stop blaming the Darkling / Aleksander for everything that goes wrong, as the King of Scars duology unfortunately spends its time doing...

▪︎Remove that bullshit that the Darkling said to Zoya "You and I are going to change the world", from the King of Scars duology. There's no reason, other than the author's personal plots against the Darkling, why he would say that to Zoya.

▪︎Remove the "your wars" dialogue from Alina to the Darkling from the King of Scars duology. Because sorry, but the Darkling didn't cause the wars between Ravka and the other countries. They were already there, long before him.

▪︎Not to imply / say that the Little Palace is actually a prison created by the Darkling for the Grisha, which he would snatch from their families (from the King of Scars duology). As we know, the Little Palace is a refuge for grisha. They also always have the right to contact with their families, who even receive money in exchange for studying at the Little Palace.

Yes, the King of Scars duology is basically a compilation of contradiction and bullshit from the author! We have all the general evidence to the contrary of what she says in this duology among the previous books, so I don't understand the delusions that she is having in this stupid duology...

[aroace-cat-lady]

so uhhhh ahhh long rant incoming sorry~

I'm sure you're aware of this whole Matty situation...

I just need to say that I cannot support Taylor after this, for me, this is absolutely where I draw the line. Personally, I believe that knowingly dating a bigot, a racist for example - this is someone who has unashamedly admitted to watching racist torture p**n, imagine how twisted you have to be to do such a thing - it automatically means that you are also racist, because, as per *my* definition of racism, racism doesn't have to be outright saying racial slurs and actively harassing poc, I definitely classify this indifference and condoning of bigotry as racism too. You *cannot* claim to be an activist and proceed to associate yourself with someone who is against everything you apparently stand for, unless it is of course, purely performative and somewhat for your own benefit. You cannot seriously claim you stand with people of colour, trans people, jewish people, muslims, every marginalised group basically, yet associate yourself with someone who clearly doesn't??

I understand some people are conflicted, I mean so was I for perhaps an hour after it was confirmed, it is hard when someone who you might idolise, who you believed would advocate for you is actually incredibly apathetic, and who has proven that countless times but especially this time, that they didn't truly mean what they claimed... But how can one not draw the line at bigotry? You can't just shrug it off by saying "I love her but this is wr-" that means nothing, you can't seriously call her out for something and say you love her in the same sentence, does that even count as holding her accountable? Equally bad are those who are "looking the other way" so you simply just don't want to hold her accountable and then be held accountable yourself for not doing so.

Additionally, if you're going to date a literal bigot, and you are aware of the colossal platform and influence you hold, why would you do it publicly- oh and with a fanbase obviously including the groups said bigot has openly discriminated against?

Unfortunately, the main responses I've seen to this situation are: swifties who idolise taylor to an unhealthy extent attempting to defend and condone even matty's actions, the performative activists who pretend they care but continue to talk about how much they adore her and basically just shrug it off, those who are fully aware its wrong and look the other way, and the literal minority who hold her accountable. Oh, said minority's feelings tend to be dismissed and invalidated and belittled by the former 3 groups. Oh, and also, said minority is primarily poc. hmmm.

Something particularly annoying that people are doing is attempting to making this about misogyny when it quite obviously isn't ("ofc you guys are blaming a woman for a man's actions"). I swear, I have seen not one person who has even implied that Taylor is to blame for Matty's actions. We are holding them both accountable because they are both shitty. Matty is unquestionably worse, but does that mean Taylor shouldn't be held accountable? Really? People saying this either... have zero understanding of the situation OR just don't want to hold her accountable and want to *out-woke* us or something and I think most of them are guilty of the latter

btw you don't have to comment on this or anything idk I'm just upset lrpekfos;rjdlgi

Oh I'm commenting don't worry about that

Just!!! Ugh!!!

I'm so. Outraged. And disgusted. He's just another privilege white guy who doesn't care at all about making fun or offending ppl that are different from him and that doesn't even try to understand or respect them. He's the worst brand of white bread out there.

And most white fans are being so awful about this. Oh you're just making it about yourself oh she's just not thinking oh he's not that bad oh I actually think he's becoming a better person because of her. Shut up. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.

I really don't know how to feel about Taylor right now. Like, all I can think about now is how a lot of ppl have said for years she's racist cuz she has never toured on latam. How there's literally no explanation for that. And I ignore all of that cuz, dude, it's Taylor??? She's one of the few ppl that actually try.

But. Is she?? Cuz she isn't trying a lot right now. She apparently doesn't care. Sure, she stands for human rights and say Vote Blue!! and all that, but at the end she doesn't seem to think that being racist antisemitic islamophibic etcetc count as a red flag.

I just hate feeling like this. I've always respected and admired Taylor, but I really just can't respect her right now. But I don't seem able to pull away from her.

I mean, I literally love her songs so much I learned a second fucking language thanks to her. My relationship with my sister got a lot better because of her music. I've met incredible ppl because I started blogging about her.

I guess I'm so disappointed and kind of heartbroken right now. Like, I got this feeling of you didn't just betrayed me, you betrayed all of us and, worst of all, you betrayed yourself

It's just a lot.

[seven-eleven-slushie]

Hey man, im sorry that post hurt your feelings. It's understandable to feel upset when you're on the receiving end of discrimination, I know white ppl are esp sensitive to it bc you aren't used to it. But that's also just the thing- like, you can be prejudiced against white people, but white people only benefit from the systemic oppression of racism. You will never experience racism. White is not a marginalized identity. So no, people hating on margo getting with miles (a rhetorical relationship thats not even a central part of the movie. It's weird that people feel so attacked by her to write callous posts for shipping them) is Not comparable to people disliking the actual relationship between gwen n miles. Also, snowbunny can mean white woman who fetishizes black men, and can Also mean white women who simply date black men. Regardless of whether she respects him. Sure its not a nice word, neither is bleach demon, but neither of those are slurs. Or bigotry. So suggest such is to be ignorant of the difference between bigotry and prejudice.

Thanks for taking the time to write all this and being nice. I apologize for the mistakes in the post. First i want to say that i'm not a white american (i'm all over the place genetics-wise, but mainly arab and blakan). Also, i absolutely understand that hating on Margo for being shipped with Miles is wrong and i agree. I was just mentioning the specific post that i think the anon is mentioning, which was just analyzing why Flowerbyte was very unlikely to happen, but i do think that specific post could have had nicer wording, now that i think about it. Regarding the use of 'snowbunny', i only knew the first meaning, so thanks for letting me know. I also didn't realize 'bigotry' wasn't the appropriate word to use in this situation, as i don't live in an english speaking country and it's not a word i have to use in context very often. I'll edit my post to make it more correct. I hope this all didn't sound too much like a Youtuber apology because that's not really my intention.

[allthoughts-headgay]

i just love (/s) having to sell ppl on my identity as a trans person just for them to respect me. if i say anything that someone deems "too trans" or "not trans enough" then suddenly i'm lying. (big rant under cut)

if i say that trans ppl online helped me discover myself then i'm a girl being influenced by them to hate myself

if i talk about how i've really always known i wasn't a girl or a boy, then i'm just going through a phase bc of puberty or smth and i'll grow out of it

if i talk about my gender dysphoria, i just need to learn to love my body and medically transitioning or blaming my insecurity on being trans won't fix it

if i talk about only having pretty mild dysphoria that doesn't come up too much, then i'm faking and i'm taking resources away from real trans people

if i talk about how i face more discrimination and misogyny as a boy(nonbinary but that's "too much") than i did before coming out, then i'm being misogynistic, or it's my own fault for choosing to be trans

if i say i'm nonbinary, then i'm making things up or i'm being too confusing, so it's my own fault if i get discriminated against, it's just "too difficult" to respect me

i shouldn't have to watch everything i say in case it's used against me, i shouldn't have to clean my identity up for cis people's comfort, or to "convince" people who don't know anything ab trans people to not be transphobic, it's not my job to make sure i present myself as a "model trans person" or "one of the good/normal ones" or to make sure i do everything "right", just because i exist does not mean i'm obligated to debate or educate people, i'm just trying to live my life, not be a fucking spokesperson or ambassador. no, i don't fit into the easily digestible box of "trans", and i'm not trying to dismantle transphobia every single time i exist in public. it's not my job to make sure that i never mention parts of my identity and experience just in case transphobes could stretch my words to justify their stupid ass opinions. no, i don't have links to all the scientific sources saying i exist. no, i haven't even read any of those studies because i am tired, don't understand every other word they use, and frankly, i don't care if a study says that i am scientifically able to exist™️ bc no shit im right fucking here. no, i will not debate you or give you "proof", and no, that does not mean im scared or that i'm faking.

[vampirefvggot]

like the weird upside of having been bullied and discriminated against is that even if this FEELS worse as long as i don't yknow off myself over it, i am the cockroach in the apocalypse. u are going to keep throwing shit at me to see what sticks and after all is said and done and the smoke clears i will still be there. ive worked well with over 100 people across the years ige been there and i am the ONLY original member of staff. i have outlasted 4 different managers (each of whom are fully out of the company) in a company where management spirals upward and ppl stay in the role for like 5-10 years...

the first one was lovely. the second one was HORRIFIC but she liked me so the stress was more from my preferential treatment and trying to make sure nobody else was bullied. the third,,,, oh boy he was a cunt. AND YET I FIND MYSELF BEING LIKE OH IF ONLY HE WAS STILL HERE

do you understand. how disgusting you fucking are. to make a disabled person wish for the man who discriminated against them

[transmalewife]

It's a bit disapointing how often disability is excluded from online leftism, how it's seen as a separate issue from other causes, how often i see this vibe of 'um im gonna talk about what affects me/is popular rn, but lets just let the cripples deal with their problems alone'. So often i see "cishet white man" as the rough outline of the non-opressed, which ignores how many cishet white men are disenfranchised because of their disabilities. and yeah, sure, many of those men are sexist or homophobic or racist, but then again, there are plenty of racist queer ppl and queerphobic poc, and yet we include them in mainstream activism, acknowledging that there is value in their lives nonetheless.

I think it's both unconscious ableism and an internalised capitalist mindset. Like this vague disgust and discomfort abled (or even disabled in a different way) people feel for visbly disabled bodies is acknowledged as harmful, but instead of unlearning it people will just ignore disabled people entirely to avoid having to do the work and make themselves uncomfortable looking or thinking about certain conditions.

Theres an issue of rep here, because sure, in every group pretty and palatable people will get the most visibility, like there's a reason you see more skinny femmes than fat butches in media, colorism is also a whole thing. But because disability is such a broad term, when the only conversations we allow to surface are led by depressed/anxious people, quirky autistic people and the occasional manic pixie dream girl in a bedazzled wheelchair, there are certain types of discrimination that just fly entirely under peoples radar.

Like ok. A trans person who doesn't pass will face a lot of shit from society, but they have the same problems with medical gatekeeping as one who does pass, and both their issues stem from the way society treats gender. But a blind person, a deaf person, a wheelchair user, and someone with a facial disfigurement will all have drastically different experiences and often contradicting needs. You can put a ramp in every museum and it won't help blind people experience the art. You can diagnose every child with adhd and give them access to therapy and medication, but it won't help someone with a chronic illness who's failing because they can't attend classes in the same school. And all of these stem from different sources. There's the fear of the unknown, disgust with anything out of the ordinary, but there's also this idea that disabled people are useless and not worth accomodating. it's not worth it to add aids in museums because who cares if a blind person gets to experience this art. but by that logic there's no point in having museums at all, unless you admit you think of disabled people as less deserving. it's not worth it to make education accessible for people who can't keep perfect attendance, if they fail out they weren't worth teaching anyway, it's not like they'll ever be productive citizens. and besides, they're probably just faking it, if we make things worse for them surely their symptoms will magically disappear.

and this same mentality permeates leftist spaces, only exacerbated by the fact that as a group, disabled people are more likely to have trouble communicating, or finding time or energy to speak up or produce content or participate in irl organizing. so we're already fighting against our own bodies to make ourselves heard, and on top of that few people bother to amplify our voices. this coalition that makes up the modern understanding of leftism, formed of queer people and poc happy to speak up for all different types of people within their own and each others communities just lets us fall through the cracks, only using us as tools when a statistic of a marginalized group facing higher rates of mental or physical illness nicely pads out their point.

if you're abled, next time you type out a list of opressed groups, think if disabled people don't also fit the point you're trying to make. next time you talk about intersectionality, think about how different disabilities might affect whatever you're talking about. and if your ideal world doesn't have a space in it for people who can't work, can't speak, can't move even, then you have already decided there's a certain group that inherently doesn't deserve a good life

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

That post about "white people use your privilege even tho it might be difficult" bothers me a bit. When I still lived w/ my parents my mom made it clear that I was not to challenge my uncle's racism, or I would be kicked out of the house. She valued her relationship with her sister more than my health and safety, and being white would not have saved me from being homeless. If you're financially dependent on someone else, you don't always have the luxury of speaking your mind.

yeah, thus my tags.  The thing is that any post like that is, if it’s made in good faith, assuming that you can do so with a reasonable degree of safety.  Like, yes, some people are willing and able to risk their job or their living sitch or whatever, but not all white folks can do that safely.  

You do what you can when you can.  Any person that would say you’re a horrible ally or enabling racism by not risking literal homelessness (and the dangerous stuff that comes with it) to stand up to one racist person doesn’t understand the idea that white people are not always 100% automatically safe to do things like that.  The same way I as a queer person wouldn’t expect you (assuming you’re cishet for this example) or any other cishet person regardless of race to stand up to homophobia or transphobia if it would’ve put you/them in a position of facing homelessness or possible violence, even though GENERALLY I think cishet people have a responsibility to do the same sort of thing that post was talking about, but with homophobia/transphobia/etc.

Yes, generally speaking, White People In General need to do this.  In practice there are many of us who can’t safely speak up like that in some environments and that’s okay.  We need to be sure we do it in places we safely CAN (i nearly always say something when I see people being like racist/homophobic/ableist in MMO chats, for example), but when there’s someplace like your situation when you lived with your parents, that’s *not safe for you*, and that defeats the purpose, because a large part of the point of asking majority people to speak up against minority discrimination is the assumption that they have a degree of safety that the minority people wouldn’t have, even if you’re just being sandpaper.

I worry about these “all or nothing” posts that go around sometimes, because i feel like sometimes young ppl won’t understand the distinction, that young minorities will feel angry when they see someone not speak up in a situation where it’s not safe for them, or that young people of majorities will feel like they have to speak up EVEN IF IT IS UNSAFE FOR THEM TO DO SO, and that is absolutely not... if that’s what the OP was trying to say then they are making really irresponsible demands of people.  I don’t think it was, but that is, again, a really irresponsible demand.

You should not feel like you should’ve risked homelessness just to be a “good white ally” or whatever.  That’s not how this works.  Speak up now if you can, speak up when and where you’re safe to do so, but if you cannot be safe doing so that is not your fault and you shouldn’t have to risk destroying your life over it.

[darkgeminisworld]

So I'm ten days late, buuuut happy 6 months anniversary of finalizing the end of a toxic friendship to myself! Looking back the signs were always there, but I was like deathly afraid of ending one of the few friendships I had so I ignored them, plus they weren't huge signs with obvious red flags, just more and more nagging if I really didn't have time to meet, or being late literally every single time and then turning around to tell me that I'm the one who's always late and he just went "if he's always late, why should I put in the effort?" when it was literally the exact other way around (to be clear, I don't care that he was always late, but he 1) denied always being late, 2) said I was the one who was always late, when really in the beginning I was always early (I've adhd and only 2 modes, "way too early" and "whoops, too late") and 3) said he only stopped trying to be on time bc I was always late). But then covid hit. And he started out cautious and reasonable, but then did a 180 and started saying the usual bs, like "it's not that serious", "they're taking our rights away over some mild disease", "well, some ppl are just gonna d1e, but idc".

And then, bc I thought that after hours of painstakingly trying to make him see that he was wrong it would be smooth sailing again, he turned out to be one of the cisallohet white dudes who earned the little ™ bc wow. Calling himself non-racist while regurgitating the rethoric of tr*mp, calling himself an ally to queer ppl but saying we're being "too much" and that we're not discriminated against, and being blatantly ableist. But of course, when I called him out on his bigoted bullshit (and I was very diplomatic and polite about it, making sure to put lots of "you might not know" "I'm sure you meant no ill" and similar stuff to sugarcoat it), I was the bad guy. And I'm a white person myself, so I don't want to know how he'd react otherwise. (I'm not gonna go into detail about all the racist crap, but I started really noticing it when he defended pigs during the blm protests). The queermisic stuff can be divided in 2 groups. One, he didn't know all about my identity, only that I'm into guys. And he still told me that I'm not discriminated against bc I "don't look gay", which I tried to unpack but he didn't understand, as well as the fact that 2 ppl of the same gender can get married (since 2017 btw). And then there's the rest, like saying we're just being "too much", that he doesn't like how we're headcanoning characters as queer, and gods forbid it's a character he personally likes, like Link. From legend of Zelda. Who is, afaik, supposed to be kinda ambiguous, gender-wise? Then there was his use of ableist language, which he didn't correct or even start to work on even after several call-outs from me.

Also we had this thing going for a little while where we were bored and decided to text back and forth with what were supposed to be self-inserts into our favorite fandoms, like the Eragon books, the PJO-verse, Star Wars. So the first point I'm going for is that my characters were all nonbinary and used they/them pronouns (English isn't our first language, but one "option" is to just use the English pronouns anyway, and I hadn't really looked very deep into German neopronouns or generally german nonbinary pronouns). And when he wasn't using "she/her", he purposefully only used "they", even in places it would've been "their" or "them". Oh, and one of his characters... did not care about consent.

Then there's the whole business with s*a and her ableist af movie, and A$, and ableism in Peta ads as well as the antivaxx bullshitters, and his stance on colonization, and how he didn't care about all the bigotry of this tiktoker who has "vegan" and "teacher" in her name, if you know her or have heard of her you know who in talking about.

He would also never apologize after a fight, acting as if it'd been 100 % my fault. And once I was fed up with that, he went manipulative and said that apparently I wasn't interested in keeping that friendship intact. Now, I've gone through years of bullying and like I said, I didn't have many friends. Still don't. But I couldn't stand the idea of losing one, even one as bad as him. So that worked to get me to apologize for a few times. Then one day, after an argument that exploded massively, he said something along the lines of "I guess this friendship will end here, then" but instead of giving in to his manipulation once again I went "yeah, guess it does". Let me tell you, he did not like this. Background info, he had one of my books and I one of his. So I asked to have my book back and he said he would burn it (he didn't, in the end. I got it back. But I don't doubt that he would've burned it). That's still not all, bc then I said fine, I would burn his book as well then. Eye for an eye, isn't it? That's when he actually threatened me. I'll skip to the next day here, bc he decided he'd miscalculated and said he hadn't meant it and wanted to have another shot at saving the friendship. He still had my book, so I didn't immediately tell to f*ck off and instead said I'd have to think about it. We exchanged the books, and after that I told him no, I did not want to try to repair the friendship bc it was draining me and just generally bad and unhealthy for me. He then proceeded to ask again, and again, and a third time. I told him to just stop and that it's over, to which he replied with the "advice" that I should get out of my bubble and live in the real world, not in my "distorted reality" (I forgot, did I mention his attempts at gaslighting me? Not very successful bc I know about kinda stuff (plus he wasn't that good), but still.). Then, on the 13th of April, I sent what still is the last message in our chat, where I made it clear, once again, that I don't want anything to do with him anymore, and it finally stuck (also bc it was a super song message where I highlighted the reasons and was considerably less than polite, though after all his crap, I think I was way nicer than I should've been, but I didn't want to get too agitated bc I'd finally gotten out of that toxic friendship.

I think these are kinda chronological (obviously with an overlap), but I'm incredibly bad at remembering events chronologically, I guess bc of my adhd? So... if you want, let me know at which point you'd have burned that bridge? Bc looking back, I'd have burned it quite a bit sooner.

Tl;dr 6 months and 10 days ago I finalized the end of a toxic friendship, dude was racist (but got super offended when called out), queermisic (never a word against gay ppl, but lgbtq+ ppl were getting "too much" and he definitely didn't respect anything outside the gender binary), ableist, defended pigs, was manipulative and tried to gaslight me.

[suzi-q-uinn]

Thank god for sarcasm to counteract the (select) loonatic lefties world wide with their Russia fear. For ppl who are so called against discrimination it always surprises me how they can put people and in this case even f-ing landscapes in boxes and once you're in it you ain't coming out. You are forever branded as evil, racist, fascist, right-wing, etc. Its always them-against-us, divisive and unreasonable. Never treating people for how they are always identity politics and they are so blind they don't even see what they are doing. Most ppl are good ppl. They want to make the world a better place. They may not want to do it the same way as you, and if you have an honest, open conversation you might understand better. Rather than go into a full scale panic when someone dares to say he's not sure climate change is in the crisis they say in MSM. Anyway Rant over.

Not to kill your fun or anything my dude but I noticed you reblogged a picture of some place in Russia for the aesthetic and I just.... Do you even know what goes on in Russia? I try to stay away from reblogging anything about it and you should too....

im russian

[karanmatsu]

It's wrong for anyone to discriminate against trans ppl just bc they're trans, but you're not saying that, you're saying ppl who don't like one set of genitals should force themselves to have sex with those genitals. Consent should be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. So you can consent to making out but not going further. Anyone can turn down sex for any reason and for most allosexuals, genitals, bc sex is using/touching genitals, is a good reason to turn down sex.

“2/2 No offense but as a trans person who isn’t bi/pan, genital preference discourse is very upsetting. As an asexual who has never had sex you shouldn’t lecture other people on our sex lives especially when you preach against healthy consent and for making people feel guilty about saying no. Nobody should feel obligated to fuck someone else. Sex involves genitals, so genitals matter to sex. Stay in your lane as an asexual who wouldn’t want to be pressured into sex they don’t want.“

oh my god im not saying that anyone should force anyone to have sex with anyone!!! im just trying to be like “ok but consider how it would feel for trans people.” ??? idk dyshoria sucks. but i know that it’s impossible to protect everyone’s feelings all the time. and um?? i obviously know that consent should be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. it should also be reaffirmed by both parties, verbal, and given while not under the influence. listen i fucking LOVE consent okay, it’s mandatory and also just happens to be cute and sweet and awesome. and of course anyone can turn down sex at any point anytime. 

and okay listen im literally not trying to lecture anyone im just here on my blog saying my opinion it’s up to you whether you agree or not. also wtf im not “preaching” bc that implies that i repeatedly and constantly over a long period of time try to assert my way of thinking over a large group of people. literally no part of that sentence is true. also, i fucking love healthy consent, and clearly understand what that means, fight me. and i think what makes me feelsbadman is that it feels like a person/their identity is being reduced down to their genitals. like their whole essence/value lies there and there alone. and listen, there are a ton of creative ways to have “sex” if you really care about a person and are into them but not necessarily into their specific genitalia. and sex, like all aspects of a relationship, should be based in communication and honesty and trust. obviously you can turn down sex whenever, and definitely should if you feel uncomfortable or unhappy or pressured in any way, just try not being verbally shitty to them about their gender identity or appearance (presuming this is someone you care about)???

tbqh im know, im biased, because im insanely protective of trans people and trans rights are a super important issue to me. and im sure being pan and a huge romantic probably also aren’t helping, and neither is all the discourse about gender and masulinity/femininity and how pretty much nothing is concrete (which i agree with). i know you can’t consider and validate every single thing at all times. i’m not trying to change anyone or anything, like keep living your lives and doing what you want to do. some shit some random college kid says on the internet isn’t gonna change anything.

i guess it just makes me feel weirdsad. like what if someone had a weird nipple? like, what if they were chandler from friends and literally had a third nipple. wouldn’t it be just kind of like, sad? ya know? if someone rejected chandler just because of his nipple? like obviously the person should only do what they want to/are comfortable with and theyre not in the wrong or anything. i just. i’d feel bad for the chandler person in the scenario. not that i’d be upset with the other person. just. i’d just feel bad for the chandler person. that’s all im trying to say. thinking about trans people having to experience Even More Dysphoria just makes me sad. i’ll shut up about it though. thanks for talking to me about this!