#so crossing my fingers i dont end up dreaming of my throat being torn out by an infected

[ourg0dsal]

When I was 17 me and my father got this really bad flu. And both of us having immune systems with the strength of an unborn fetus, we both literally almost died. My father was coughing up blood and I was reaching fevers of 105-106. To this day my brother is convinced we had Covid even though it was a few months before Covid officially hit America. So for now we will just say it was a really bad flu. And during this flu was the first time i ever experienced a real and true "fever dream". Something up till that moment I had only thought was a term to describe something out of wack and surreal. Also during this time, I was really into Jackcepticeye and specifically his subnautica series. It was all I was watching.

And during this dream, that neared honestly closer to straight up hallucination rather than dream. I was in the world of subnautica, at the furthest depths you can reach in the game, in complete and utter darkness, oxygen was running dangerously low, my cyclops and seamoth, were thousands of kms away on opposite sides of the map, and a leviathan was circling me. And I didn't know if it was aware of me and choosing not to attack. Or unaware and seconds from discovering me.

And I know how this sounds. A relatively b-rated movie filled with clichés. But I- 17. flu stricken. And fully convinced this was real. It was the most terrifying thing in my life. Knowing I was going to die, ether from suffocating, or being attacked by a monstrosity at the furthest depths of the ocean. With no hope of ever being found.

Anyways. Fever dreams are real and can be funny. But also can be terrifying and signify your body is so hot it's frying your brain. And now I have a memory scorched into my brain of being stuck at the bottom of the ocean, Even though I've never gone further out than waist deep at the beach.

[howlingbarnes]

Yuanfen - Part 9

Characters - Bucky x Reader, Tony Stark, Mentions of others

Word Count - 1542

Warnings - Fluff, Language, Implied smut, Angst?

A/N - WHOA! Full disclosure: I never know what I'm doing. I swear this will all make sense later. Please dont hesitant to tell me what you think! This is an AU. 缘分 (Yuanfen) is a Chinese word that has no direct English translation and (roughly) means “A relationship that is brought together by a force such as destiny or fate.“

Yuanfen Masterlist

“Hey,” a soft voice infiltrated your dreams, piercing through the veil between fantasy and reality as you stirred on the couch. A tender kiss landed on your cheek, followed by another on your temple and one more on the tip of your nose, “wake up, doll.”

Your eyes fluttered open as Bucky shifted under your bodyweight. Stretching on the now seemingly small couch, you let a groggy groan rumble through your chest just before stepping onto the cold hardwood floor and trudging into the kitchen in search of a coffee mug. Bucky took a deep breath, letting his head push into the fluffy pillows on the couch.

“Coffee?” you called across the open room, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“You read my mind, sweetheart,” Bucky spoke back, a thumbs up poking out from behind the couch being the only thing coming into view.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, you whined seeing that it wasn’t too long after seven in the morning. Silently you cursed the rest of the world for turning at such ungodly hours as you popped a pod into Bucky’s Keurig and waited for your caffeine fix.

“When did I pass out?” You basically spoke to the counter that your forehead now rested on.

“Ah,” Bucky’s voice found your ears and you could almost picture his face as he crawled back into his memories, “I know it was somewhere during This Is The End. Maybe right before Jonah Hill gets fucked by that demon?”

“Damnit, that’s one of my favorite parts!” You giggled, slamming your hands on the counter, faking anger before lifting your head. You started the machine again with a clean mug, deciding to play nice and bring Bucky his coffee first.

Bucky pushed himself up into a cross-legged position as you padded back over to the couch. You handed him the mug but it was placed on the table, instantly forgotten as his fingers wrapped around your wrist. Just as you started for the kitchen once again, Bucky lightly tugged your arm until you were planted between his legs. One of his hands engulfed your face as he tilted your head for an amorous kiss that sent your coffee to the back burner of your mind.

“Do you know what I like the most about kissing you?” He asked with a gruff morning voice that had you in shambles as soon as he started talking.

“What’s that?” You hummed back between small pecks and happy chuckles.

“I get to do it whenever I want,” Bucky winked at you before giving your waist a squeeze with his other hand.

Normally, you have some smart comeback but not today. You didn’t have the energy and you were rightfully too flustered to respond. Silently, you stood from your warm, cozy spot and went to retrieve your hot mug.

Standing in front of the building that housed your future bosses had you wringing your hands nervously. You’d paced in front of the doors for nearly twenty minutes, dodging businessmen who all seemed late for meetings and people running by with trays full of coffee cups that you could only assume were interns.

After your anxiety induced cardio, you started walking down the block, leaving the building far behind. Just as you reached the corner, you pulled your phone from your pocket and opened your conversation with Bucky to start a new message.

‘I can’t do this’

You thumbed the words into the device with shaky hands, only having a few seconds to steady yourself before your phone vibrated with his response.

‘You got this, doll. Just go in there, sign the contract and get back here to me’

Smiling down at your phone, you gathered enough nerve to walk back to the intimidating doors of the building you were previously loitering around just a short time ago. You shook your head free of any harsh thoughts that were creeping around within your mind and pushed one of the doors open.

It wasn’t long before you had found your way to the elevator with the help of the pretty brunette at the front desk. A lump started to form in your throat, butterflies fluttering in your chest as the lift ascended before the doors slid open slowly. Stepping out, you found that you were so lost in thought that you’d forgotten every single direction that Maria at the desk had given you. With a heavy sigh, you wandered the halls until you came across a shiny nameplate on a sleek door with the name Natasha Romanoff etched into it. Your faith was temporarily restored; if you couldn’t find Tony Stark, at least you had Natasha to save you the embarrassment of having to return to the lobby.

Closing your eyes, you lifted your fist to knock on the door but before you had the chance, a loud thump from inside made you freeze in place. With furrowed brows, you let curiosity swallow you whole as the thump turned into a symphony of multiple thumps. Moving slowly, you gripped the handle of the door and turned it. You cracked the door open enough to peek inside and instantly wished that you hadn’t.

You slipped a hand over your mouth in an attempt to physically hold in the gasp that was trying desperately to make it’s way up your throat. Your eyes were wide in disbelief as the familiar slap of skin against skin rang through the room. Grunts and groans floated out into the empty hall and stabbed your eardrums until you quickly clicked the lock and closed the door quietly behind you.

Of all the way you’d expected this day to go, this wasn’t one of them. Without a second thought, you pulled out your cell and clicked on Steve’s name. Still standing outside the door with your hand over your mouth, you squeezed your eyes closed as the ringtone he’d picked for you so many years ago carried through the very door you had your body pressed against.

Tears clouded your vision as you rushed away from the door with Steve’s chipper voicemail message flowing into your ear. Stepping into the elevator, you hung up your phone and willed yourself to calm down.

The air around you was so thick that it felt as though it was reaching into your body and pulling the air directly from your lungs. Your chest was raked with unsung sobs while your mind raced, recalling the last time you’d seen Steve before that. He was torn and broken, a shell of the person that you had come to care for dearly.

With far too many emotions and thoughts racing through your mind, you all but ran to the entrance once the elevator doors finally opened again, inviting you back to the lobby. You were so unfocused that you hadn’t noticed the man walking in until you crashed right into his chest.

“Whoa!” He exclaimed, holding your elbows to look you over, “where’s the fire, darlin’?”

“I’m sorry,” you answered, trying your best to put on your ‘I wasn’t just crying’ face, “I was just looking for Tony Stark but he doesn’t seem to be here and I'm on a tight schedule, so if you'll excuse me.” You lied through your teeth at the stranger, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of there.

“May I ask why you were looking for me?” The tall man quirked a brow at you and suddenly you felt his confident presence with full force, “you wouldn’t happen to be Y/N, would you?”

“Uh,” your eyes darted everywhere but at the figure before you as you tried to wash away the images that were starting to burn into your mind, “yeah - yes, that’s me. Listen, Mr. Stark, I really do have to go but is it possible for you to email me the contract? I can print it out and bring it back when it’s signed.”

“Don’t let me hold you up, Y/N.” Tony stepped out of your way and gestured for the door, “I’ll send your contract at my earliest convenience, enjoy your day.”

“Bucky,” you breathed into your phone as you stomped down the sidewalk away from the building that currently held the most uncomfortable and awkward moments of your life.

“That was fast,” Bucky chuckled, blissfully unaware of what you’d just gone through, “how’d it go?”

“Can we meet somewhere?” You blurted out, feeling the panic grabbing hold of your vocal chords.

“Yeah, I-I’m at Tes’ restaurant,” you could hear the concern in his voice but knowing his location made you pick up your pace until you were nearly panting into the receiver. “Where are you, babe? What’s wrong?”

“I’m on my way and I promise, I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“Okay, be safe.”

Just as you rounded the corner of the block that Tesla’s restaurant sat in the middle of, the cell phone you’d been white-knuckling since Bucky hung up started to vibrate. Looking down, you saw that it was Steve returning your call. You deliberated as you walked, hovering your thumb over the screen. Flashbacks of him with Natasha played over and over behind your eyelids, making the decision for you.

[One missed call: Beefcake]

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