#so basically; i thought i would feel more relaxed afterwards but i cant focus?? i feel ant s y
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/ Sometimes I think about single blogs and how straightforward it is to build stuff from there but then I think; 'do I actually have the energy to keep up with single muse blogs-'
#;ooc#ooc#its like; i can focus on the character that has that blog but at the same time; i have so many ideas all the time for so many characters#i also love making whole aesthetics for each character ; i like seeing my blogs have a vibe#thats also whyi love p.interest so much too; I LOVE AESTHETICS!#but writing wise im like; so tired nowadays; but i wonder if having them separate would help me focus on one#like;;; thats -their- blog; and then when i log in to another one its -their- blog and so on#but also i think its so convenient having multis; its easier to switch them up#after my con im like; u know that feeling u get left with of feeling accelerated?#its that feeling that there's something u should be doing but everything has been done already; but u still feel like there's something#ur forgetting to do-#so basically; i thought i would feel more relaxed afterwards but i cant focus?? i feel ant s y#i wanna write my j.ojo muses but i keep getting distra c t e d
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lee daehwi as your soulmate
imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist
(as requested!)
ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol
for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be
ANYWAYS
once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear
ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet
eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN
u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means
but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future
at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then
ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it
u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate
honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then
time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life
SO
it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming
bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????
honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes
trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed
come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can
but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point
eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not
then ure like waaaait a second,,
n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate
which makes things much harder tbh
u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open
ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE
as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky
actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave
ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there
(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)
anyways
u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs
u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh
tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot
part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask âlisten im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRISTâ
but the realistic part of u is like âwhat the heck no dont do thtâ
u settle on agreeing with the latter
at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off
u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave
thts when ure like âwow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outsideâ but also âWAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEPâ
even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht
all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did
after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them
u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole âtiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!â thing
anywho
u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers
u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate
afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart
u keep thinking âmb its not the date when we meet??â
but honestly ure not sure what else it could be
like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,
and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else
u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts
it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions
by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like â???!!!!!!!!!!!â
u dont even know what to think at tht point
but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness
ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell âURE WALKING IN CIRCLESâ
and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly
âwHATâ u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response
âURE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMESâ
and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh
âARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVEâ
all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him âIM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVEâ, a pause, and then u add on âU CREEPâ bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life
âAT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINTâ
u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home
still just as u pull it out, it flashes a âdead batteryâ symbol and just. dies on u
âITS DEADâ u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????
âIM COMING DOWNâ
okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea
when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock
just,, in case,,,,,
(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)
âi didnt want to keep yellingâ the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)
he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways
âim lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?â he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical
âif i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwardsâ
he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace
its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression
u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh
today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then
ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned
âare u okay?? whats wrong????â
and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them
but daehwi is giggling and ure like âdONT BE A JERKâ but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face
instead of the date, his reads â11.51 PMâ in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH
he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc âi had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet uâ
and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit
he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying âim glad its u tho bc ure super cuteâ
u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs
âi was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cuteâ
ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever
he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon
its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen
others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!
#requested#daehwi#wanna one#wanna one imagine#wanna one imagines#wanna one scenarios#wanna one scenario#lee daehwi#lee daehwi scenarios#lee daehwi imagine#daehwi scenarios#daehwi imagines#soulmate#soulmates
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Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering how do you handle an adult life? I'm 17 and the fact that I'm going to be an adult is starting to panic me more and more. Like I CANT talk to adults. I stutter&I'm a mess. I'm even bad with my peers. Some advice on how you do it would be nice. I try to ask my parents, but they aren't very helpful and seem ready to drop me into the deep end to "teach me" a lesson about being an adult. (Sorry again about non blog related question. No obligations to answer)
Oh boy, Iâm gonna do my best to answer this, but full disclosure? Iâm pretty bad at being social. I have some issues, and talking to people is really hard for me. That might be helpful in this context if youâre coming from a similar situation, but I donât know if thatâs the case, so itâs possible that my stuff wonât work for you. Iâll give it a whirl anyway.
I actually was thrown into the deep end when I was about your age, because I ended up going to college in a state where I pretty literally didnât know a single person. I donât know if that was a positive thing or not, but I can definitely say that Iâve gotten significantly better about talking/adulting since then. Iâm still terrified of everyone older than me, but I can fake my way through the majority of it now.Â
For me, the biggest step was increasing my self-esteem. When I started living on my own in â14, my goal was basically to be invisible (a skill that I mastered a looooong time ago). I have this thing about people looking at me, so I didnât like any kind of attention. It definitely affected the way I talked to people (I didnât) and the way I acted.
That shifted after I discovered a couple of things
1) some attention is positive, and positive attention feels good
2) Iâm imagining a lot of the judgement I feel from other people
The truth is, people donât pay as much attention to you as you think that they do. Weâre all trapped inside our own heads, right? My frame of reference puts the majority of emphasis on me, because thatâs the only person I can hear and the only emotions I can feel. The same is true about youâ you hear your thoughts and feel your feelings, so it seems like everybody else should be focussed on you.
Thatâs your mind playing tricks. Donât believe it. Everybody else is focussed on themselves, not you, and thatâs a good thing! Theyâre not actually looking at you. Theyâre just looking around. As soon as yâall walk away from each other, odds are youâll disappear from their mind. It means that you donât have to worry about doing everything perfectly. They donât actually care.Â
Repeat that to yourself whenever you feel like youâre doing badly. It doesnât matter. They donât care. Theyâre not that concerned about the things that you do.
Two tactics for increasing your self esteem:
Find something youâre good at and do it. A lot. I started writing fanfiction when I was 18, and it straight-up changed my life. Iâd never had that level of positive reinforcement beforeâ for the first time in my life, I felt better than mediocre, and it made me proud of my own skills. Once I knew I was good at something it became a lot easier to talk to people.
(This is where you need to bear in mind that Iâm not what the kids call âmentally stableâ so likeâŠ. this might not be healthy) For a solid two years, I played this mind game where whenever I felt like somebody was judging me or being unkind to me, I picked one of my more angry favorite fictional characters and imagined them yelling back at that person. It worked really well for me because it let me fight back without actually doing it myself. I donât really get angry, so I imagined someone getting angry on my behalf. Thing is, after awhile I really could think things like âI donât deserve thisâ and âhey asshole back the hell offâ in my own voice. I donât know if I can explain that any better
Practical tips for maintaining a conversation:
Ask questions. Itâs a lot easier to have a conversation if theyâre doing most of the talking, and they wonât think itâs weird if you seem interested. Just keep them talking by asking for more information about whatever they just said.
Theyâll get more comfortable (and more talkative) the more emotion you express. Listen actively. Nod along. Say stuff like âReally??â Your eyebrows are your friends. React to the stuff they say.
If you donât know what emotion youâre expected to express, draw your eyebrows slightly in, rest a hand on your mouth/chin, and say âinteresting.â Theyâll interpret that as whatever response they were expecting.
 I feel more comfortable if Iâm prepared, so I straight-up have memorized anecdotes that I practice until they go smoothly. I mostly use stories about my siblings, but I also have this speech about communism that I use every time someone asks me what Iâm thinking about.
I donât know what kind of English you speak, but I realized a long time ago that if I amp up my accent, other southerners trust me more and everyone else sees me as less threatening. If that applies, use it.
Donât be ashamed of your interests. It might seem embarrassing, but other people donât see it that way. Niche comic book knowledge actually goes over pretty well at parties. Related tip: find The Interest of the person youâre talking to, and your life will get a lot easier. Let them teach you about it and they literally will not shut up. Itâs great. Also you get good recs that way.
Tips to get people to like you:
Be helpful. Good in two ways: if you donât know what youâre supposed to be doing and that makes you feel anxious, ask whomever is in charge if thereâs something you can do to help. Theyâll be charmed, and you wonât feel awkward anymore. Also good because people really like the folks that do them favors. They also like the people they did favors for, so let people do things for you if they offer.
Everybody likes the kid that brought food. Bake cookies. Bring cookies. New friends. Even if you donât talk to them afterwards, theyâll have a positive opinion of you. I never spoke to the majority of my dorm neighbors, but they all liked me because I set candy and juice boxes in the hallway every holiday. In a classroom setting, offer to share your gum, buy extra scantrons, and lend people your pens.Â
I befriend people solely by throwing gifts at them until they feel my love. Ask any of my mutuals. Theyâll tell you.
Kindness honestly goes a long way? A lot of people, especially young people, really need someone to be kind to them, and theyâre not used to getting that. If you can be that person, itâll help them and it will make the two of you a lot closer. Thatâs how real friendships start.Â
Always be respectful of other peopleâs trust. If they tell you important things about themselves, treat it seriously. Try to understand how they feel, and then let them know that you understand. Donât tell other peopleâs secrets.
Tips for forcing yourself to Do The Thing:
I keep my to do list on post-it notes stuck to my dresser, one item per note, so I can pull them off one at a time as I do them. Itâs more satisfying that way.
Personally Iâm a lot more willing to do the things I hate if I feel like Iâm doing them for someone else. Easiest way is to get one of my friends to ask me to do it (Hey in an hour text me and tell me to go to the grocery store). The best way is to bargain with one of my friends (if you call your doctor, Iâll make a real dinner tonight)
Again⊠I donât know if youâre coming from the same place as me, but it really helps me to be open about my problems. I just tell my friends about my mental health issues, and then they help me to work around them.
Treat!!! Yo!!!! Self!!!! Seriously reward yourself for getting things done. Give yourself an episode of The Office for every page you write. Buy yourself ice cream for getting your errands done. If youâre going to do something stressful, have a plan for something relaxing afterward (Iâll go to the induction ceremony, and then Iâll go to the puppy store and pet a beagle)
[Eliza voice] đ¶ T a k e  a  b r e a k đ¶ If socializing is hard for you, realize that you donât have to do it all the time. Itâs okay to opt out, especially when you wonât lose anything by doing it. Personally, I go out of my way to make sure that no one speaks to me on the bus, walking across campus, or during lunch. Those are me-times. You can make sure people get the memo by wearing big headphones, bringing a book (even if youâre only pretending to read it), and avoiding eye contact.Â
I find music really helpful for prep/recovery too. It works best if you find one song and play it on repeat until you get to the stressful thing, and  then do the same thing on the way back. Focus on one element of the song at a time. If you do it right, you can hit this meditative sweet spot where you stop thinking about what you have to do.
Stress relief (take it with a grain of salt because I am 95% stress at any given time):
Make your bedroom into a happy place. Pick a strong scent and make that part of the atmosphereâ your brain will start to associate that scent with calm. My room smells like Irish Spring soap. When you finish something stressful, go to your room, take a few minutes to lie down and relax, breathe in and out, smell the happy smell. You did it.
Do stupid shit that makes you happy. Blow bubbles on your porch, put colored glassware on your windowsills so the sunlight turns red and blue, sing in your bathroom so it echoes all over the place.Â
I hate admitting this with every fiber of my being, but exercise does actually reduce stress. So does eating healthy and sleeping normally, but Iâve never tried those last two.
If something makes you happy, keep it around. Save birthday cards, display presents from your friends, keep a happy tag online so you have a list of stuff to come back to. Your brain will remember the positive reaction, so itâll undo some of the damage when youâre upset.Â
Making other people happy will make you happy. Easiest method? Hit that anon button on the asks, pick the top five people on your dashboard, send them a nice message. Wait for excited response
Itâs okay to google âcute babiesâ and scroll through pics until you feel alive again
I find it helpful to make things. I donât know, thereâs something about spending a long time on a project that makes me feel more productive, especially if thereâs a visible product.
Things to remember:Â
They arenât watching you. They donât care if you mess up. Your brain is lying to you.
Your worth is inherent and cannot be diminished by any of your actions or failures
Odds are the people you meet now wonât be the same people in your life in a few years. That means you donât have to impress them. If you embarrass yourself in front of the lady at the brochure stand, it doesnât matter. You probably wonât ever see her again.
Itâs okay if this is hard for you. You donât have to love meeting people.
You donât have to like everyone. You donât have to be friends with everyone.
Itâs okay to say no. I repeat: it is okay to say no.
Youâre going to be okay. You have a destiny, and you will fulfill it. Itâs going to turn out exactly as it should. You donât have to worry about your future.
These things get easier with time.
Thereâs no shame in seeing a therapist or talking about your problems
You have talents. You are interesting. You deserve attention and praise.
You know where to find me if you need anything
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