#so anyway the other day i was drawing this cat and thinking how sad her life is. and i just want someone to tell her it's not her fault | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

orionsstory · 4 months ago

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that kind of devotion | anarcia (7)

yayy chapter seven is here :) as always, don't forget to check it out on ao3 !! and leave a comment if you liked it teehee

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For the next two weeks, Marcia found herself texting Lotus every waking moment. During breaks, during dinner, any free time she had was spent laughing at her jokes or smiling at a picture she sent. She got to find out she loved ducks (through the several pictures she sent of the ones at the nearby park- Marcia didn't mind though) to her favorite song (Boss Bitch by Doja Cat, a song Marcia had found herself listening to nonstop lately). If she was lucky, Lotus would even call her after her patrol, and the two would talk for hours. They mostly talked about their day and the investigation, but sometimes Marcia would slip in a story about her growing up, or Lotus would tell her a story about Sasha. The two had grown much closer in the past two weeks, getting along like a house on fire.

Even now, she was sitting on the couch texting Lotus. She giggled at a text the other girl had sent before she was drawn out of her thoughts by someone nudging her leg. "I need to sit down too, you know." Luxx rolled her eyes as she sat down, handing Marcia her food. "Put your phone down and eat, you've been glued to that thing lately. It's your one day off and you've ignored me the whole morning!"

Marcia takes the food from her, "I'm sorry! It's just so...exciting! We've pretty much gone from talking a few times a month to every day, it's hard not to be so engrossed."

"Aww, she's down bad." Luxx teased her.

"No, I'm not down bad. I'm a lover."

"Marsh, that's the same thing."

"It's totally not! Well...maybe a little. Whatever..." She flushed in embarrassment, rolling her eyes. Luxx chuckled at her, "Isn't that sweet, you know I haven't seen you this excited over a girl since that one in college...what was her name again?" Marcia cringed at the memory, she had to admit she may have the tendency to fall for people quite easily, but Lotus wasn't the same.

"That's not the same thing. Lotus is different."

Luxx raised her eyebrow, so she continued, "She shows genuine interest in me. She cares about my theatre stuff and how my day is. She texts me pictures of cute dogs she sees because she knows I'll love them. She's...thoughtful. Also, she didn't forget my name after one date, so she's already leagues ahead of Caitlin."

Luxx laughed, "Oh my god, I forgot about that! What did she call you again? Maria?"

"Miriam. She said she knew it was some old lady's name."

"Oh my god, she was awful. I'm so glad that lasted like, two weeks."

"You and me both. Anyways, what were you thinking of doing?"

"Well, since we're all getting together after your show tomorrow, I figured we could just lie low today. We could go to that coffee shop you like and people-watch."

Marcia was sold. "You know me so well, Luxx."

"Of course I do. We've been friends for like 10 years, it'd be sad if I didn't. Now let's go, I want to get a good spot before it gets busy."

They arrived at the small shop, setting their items down on the counter facing the biggest window. Marcia took a seat, taking out her drawing supplies as Luxx went to grab their drinks. It had been a while since they had been able to do this- they used to do it all the time in college, watching the people pass by and wonder about their lives while they worked on essays or assignments. They would wonder about their own lives, and what the future would be like. Marcia likes to think her younger self would be proud of where she is now. It makes her smile.

"One tea with honey for you...and an espresso for me!" Luxx hums as she sits the drinks down, sliding onto the seat beside Marcia. She brings out her own drawing materials, peering out the window.

"I missed this. Feels like it's been forever since we've done this."

"I know, it feels like we barely have time anymore. I guess that's what it means to be an adult."

Luxx nodded, her pencil sketching across the page. "Such is capitalism. Ugh, I'm so antsy to get this collection done. We're almost ready to go into production, so my stress is mostly over."

"Oh, I'm excited to see the collection! You're taking me to see the show, right?"

"Who else is going to be my plus one?" She laughs, taking a sip of her drink. "Oh yeah, that's good. Fuck, I've missed good coffee. The office coffee is so shitty, Marsh. Oh my god, it's horrible."

Marcia smiled, opening her own sketchbook as she began sketching some of the people outside. "For a luxury brand, you would think they could afford a better coffee machine." She laughed, scribbling in a woman's dark coat. "Maybe they'll get you a new one for Christmas."

Luxx rolled her eyes, "Please, don't give me hope. Irene keeps saying she's going to fix it and improve it herself but we've been so swamped she hasn't had time yet." She looked up for her next target before selecting a man with a dog. "Look at that dog- isn't it cute? Ugh, I wish I was better at animals. It looks like a rat."

Marcia leaned over to look at the sketch, rolling her eyes. "It looks great, you're being dramatic. That is a cute dog though, what a baby." She cooed, snapping a picture of it before she sent it to Lotus. "How is the collection going anyway? Weren't you guys almost done like, a month ago?"

"Well, we were going through final revisions, but they decided to scrap some of the looks so we had to come up with some new ones. I'm hoping this will be the final round though. I've got some of the early concepts for designs in here though." She answers, flipping through her sketchbook to show Marcia some of the designs.

She always admired the other girls' aesthetic, Luxx's usual grungy and dark designs had seemed to translate perfectly to spring fashion. Desaturated colors and skirts with purposeful rips and tears turned a skirt into the shape of a flower, an impressive feat. Marcia had seen Luxx make gorgeous designs that weren't her aesthetic, but these ones were special. She always loved it when Luxx could show her passion through her designs.

"Dark forest...what a theme, right?" She softly chuckles, flipping back to the sketch she was working on. "I like it though. I think it'll be our best collection yet."

Marcia proudly smiles, returning to her own sketch of some scenery. They sketched in comfortable silence for some time, Marcia having stopped sketching the people outside and started sketching Lotus. She didn't mean to, it was just sort of a habit at this point.

"That's really good, is that Lotus?" Luxx asks, leaning over. Marcia nods, her face tinged red. "Is she coming to your performance tomorrow?"

"No, but she's coming for my first night as Elle. I'm really excited, I hope she'll like my performance- I've been working so hard on it. God, I hope it goes well, what if I choke?"

"You won't choke. You were like, born for this. You're gonna kill it."

Marcia smiles at her, "Thanks, Luxx."

Luxx volunteered for dinner duty that night, allowing Marcia a moment to herself. To debrief, to prepare herself for tomorrow. She felt the nerves creeping up, like they did for every show she had done. She had to remind herself that it was going to go well, that she was going to do well. She focused on the warm water of the shower that was beginning to turn cold- maybe she had been in there longer than she thought.

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping her hair in a soft pink towel before beginning to dry herself off. It was nice, and for a moment she felt calm as she blow-dried her hair, the muffled music of Ariana Grande playing in the background. 7 rings was interrupted by the ringing of her phone, Marcia clicked off the hair dryer as she answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, doll." Lotus' voice came from the other end. "Are you able to talk?"

Marcia hummed, "For a little bit- Luxx will kill me if I miss dinner." She wrapped her soft pink robe around her as she left the bathroom and entered her bedroom across the hall. "I thought you're usually on patrol around this time of day?"

"I am, but it's always a slow start. Thought I'd talk to you until I get a call."

She softly smiled, "Well, I won't complain about that. How's your day been?"

"Pretty standard. I'm hanging out with my coworker soon, but other than that nothing of note. But enough about me- you're gonna be on Broadway tomorrow! How are you feeling?"

"Nervous. Excited. I can't tell- I think it's both." She chuckled, "I know I'll probably do well, but it's just those pre-show nerves, you know?"

"Nah, I know you're gonna crush it."

"But how do you know? What if I...I don't know, trip and break my arm or something."

"I think you'd still perform, even if you had to be in a cast. Don't worry. Besides, isn't the saying break a leg?"

Marcia softly sighed, a smile creeping onto her face as she rummaged through her dresser for her pajamas. "Yeah, it is...and you're probably right. I'm way too excited about this. I just can't believe it's finally happening!"

She heard a faint buzzing on the other line, vaguely recognizing it as the sound of a call.

"Do you have to go?"

Lotus sighed, "Yeah. I do. I'm sorry. Hey- break a leg tomorrow. You're gonna kill it."

Marcia smiled. "Thanks, I will."

She heard Lotus laugh, she could practically see the other girls smile in her head.

"Atta girl."

The next morning was a blur. She remembered waking up to a 'break a leg ;)' text from Lotus and eating breakfast with Luxx, but time seemed to fly by after that. Her usual subway ride seemed to take five minutes, and their rehearsal that morning felt like it had happened in a second.

Now, she was in the dressing room with her castmates, all giddy and excited for the show. She applied the last of her blush and made sure her costume was perfect, waiting in the wings with the rest of the ensemble for the first number to start. Many were excitedly whispering to each other, the air in the theatre felt electric.

"Who's here for you tonight, Marcia?" One of her castmates and friends, Plasma, asked her.

"My friends and one of my cousins- we're going out afterward. What about you?"

"Some of my friends- and my mom, she flew in from Texas to be here. I can't believe it's opening night!" She excitedly shook Marcia's arm, causing her to smile.

"I know. Oh! There's the house lights, we're going!" She excitedly whispered, taking her place in preparation. She felt the anxiety returning to her chest, taking a deep breath as the curtains drew open.

They began their first number, which went as perfectly as it could. Marcia hit all the right steps, all the right notes, and stayed in character the entire time. She felt the anxiety in her chest dissipate after the first number, it turning into a feeling of joy. She felt good going into the second number, which turned into feeling great for the entire first act. During intermission, she and Plasma celebrated their success, which meant excitedly talking about the show while they made costume and makeup adjustments for the second act.

The second act also went spectacularly. She could tell the entire cast was bringing their all, and the audience could too. Every time the audience laughed or cheered her drive became stronger, causing her to perform even better. By the time curtain call came, she was exhausted- but proud. As she bowed with the rest of the ensemble, she could hear Luxx's cheers above the rest. She couldn't see her group because of the house lights, but that was enough to put a smile on her face.

She's able to get out of her costume and makeup fairly quickly, only delayed by her and Plasma geeking out about the show- releasing the remainder of the energy they had for the night. Eventually, she gathered her things and left, signing some things for a few fans at the stage door before spotting her friends.

"MARSHALL!" Luxx squealed, tightly hugging the other girl. Marcia giggled as her friends swarmed her, excitement filling the air. Jan raved on and on about her vocals and dance moves, her cousin was a fellow theatre nerd and they often spent their childhood watching different musicals (and poorly reenacting them). Robin, although less experienced in the theatre world, complimented her performance and gave her a bouquet- which Amethyst almost crushed as she pulled the group in to take a photo.

Marcia feels elated as the group returns to her apartment, giving her time to change into a sparkly mini-dress. She quickly shot a text to Lotus before coming back out, rejoining the girls who had also changed. They took a quick shot of some tequila they had lying around the house before heading to the nearest gay bar.

"My girlfriend said she and her friend are a few minutes away," Robin yelled above the noise, trying to keep Amethyst from getting swallowed up by the crowd. "I'm making them get us drinks- what does everyone want?"

The girls shouted out their various drink orders to Robin, drowned out by the club's music. The lights strobed and Marcia could feel her body vibrating from the bass. She danced with Luxx and Amethyst, letting herself go and focusing on having fun- she deserved it, after all. She felt her legs growing sore, but it didn't bother her. She would regret it in the morning, however it wasn't anything she couldn't deal with.

They only stopped dancing when Robin squealed, throwing herself into the arms of a girl who had just walked up. "That's Aura," Amethyst shouted so they could hear, the other girls nodding along. "Who's that beside her?" Marcia asked, referring to the girl who had appeared beside Aura.

She was wearing a short red dress and a leather jacket, and her long light-colored hair was straight and worn down, with some bobby pins to keep her bangs back. She looked like she had some darker streaks in her hair, but she couldn't be too sure with the blaring club lights. From what Marcia could see, she had a pretty athletic build and a scar over her left eye. She felt like she knew the girl, but she couldn't place her finger on why.

"I guess her friend," Amethyst whispered in her ear, "She's hot, right? Is she glaring at us though?" Marcia turned her attention back to the other woman, Amethyst was right- she did seem to be glaring, but she couldn't even clearly see the girl because of the flashing lights.

"Can't tell."

Aura and Robin finally broke apart, allowing Aura to shift her attention to the other girl.

"Oh! This is one of my friends, Anetra!" The other girl nodded her head in greeting. "She doesn't bite, she just has chronic RBF." Aura laughed, Anetra rolled her eyes and playfully elbowed her. Amethyst introduced herself first before Marcia did- she noticed the girl's eyes widen a bit before returning to normal. That was strange, did she recognize her too?

She was going to talk to her more when Aura pulled her away to go get the group's drinks, putting a pin in her plan. That was fine, she'd just talk to her when she returned. However, Anetra didn't return. Aura came back alone, balancing the drinks in her arms.

"Where'd Anetra go?" Luxx asked, taking her drink from Aura.

"She got a call while we were waiting at the bar- came back and said there was an emergency and dashed out. She seemed stressed about it."

"I hope she's okay..." Marcia worried, "Poor girl just got here."

"I'll check up on her later, she's a tough cookie so I'm sure she'll be fine."

That was the last they talked about it, the rest of the night was a blur as they danced and drank until their feet hurt. Marcia tried to tone it down so she wouldn't feel as miserable tomorrow, which worked to some degree. She and Luxx left around 1 am, both deciding to be somewhat responsible. She quickly changed into her pajamas, almost passing out the instant she hit the bed. She shot off a goodnight text to Lotus, who still hadn't answered her last message, which was odd. She worried something may have happened, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind- she was just paranoid.

#thatkindofdevotion #rpdr fanfiction #rpdr #rupauls drag race #marcia x3 #marcia marcia marcia #anetra #anarcia

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 9 months ago

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CW: Mentions of physical violence and weapons.

"I am thinking I want a tattoo"

Remus felt happy and warm even if was winter, almost Christmas. Remus was feeling the festive mood for the first time. Besides the cold, besides the fact he had been robbed, that he didn't have a phone or the little money he kept, besides the fact that he had been hurt and that he missed his best friend already. Remus was relatively happy. There was one person to blame. And he was sitting next to him, very close to him.

"A tattoo?" Remus asked as he smiled.

"Yeah" Sirius nodded. He was drawing a friendly dog in the foggy window of the London Tube "I was thinking what Fen said yesterday. Do I really look like a delicate prince?"

Remus laughed despite the fact that it hurt to think about Fen and the boys. How they once were Remus's family. And just yesterday they tried to hurt Sirius and him. They hurt Grant. But luckily Grant would be safe and sound in Brighton by now.

Sirius’s dog had a speech bubble next to it. It read: "Hello Moony". Remus smiled.

"I want to look more badass if I am going to live in London" Sirius added.

"You're going to live in a posh neighborhood anyway, so it's fine"

Sirius poked out his tongue.

Sirius had been absolutely adorable during their trip to London. It was the first time Sirius visited the city for real. And though their mission had been to rescue Grant, which they managed successfully despite everything, Remus could tell Sirius had enjoyed it. He wanted more than ever to move into his Uncle's apartment.

"I am sorry for bringing the subject, Moony"

Seeing Sirius’s eyes of concern, Remus realized he had a sad expression. And he hated feeling that way for those people. But nobody understood what they had meant for him. Maybe only Grant.

"It's okay, I am fine"

"No, you are not" Sirius prompted "And it's okay. I get it"

Fen had been drunk and probably on drugs when he took out his knife. And when he hit and kicked Remus on the ribs. He still had the bruises. More than the ones he used to have. But what he said had been circulating Remus's brain all day: "Ye'r a traitor! Yeh abandoned us to play to be a posh boy in a posh school. We've used ter be Yer family and yeh left us"

Remus didn't regret going to Hogwarts. It had been the best decision of his life. Not only because he was able to see Sirius again. But in Hogwarts he had met the best people he could find. Now comparing with what he used to have with Fen and the others, Remus realized he didn't know what real friendship looked like, what real love looked like.

"I tried distracting you with Andromeda and Ted"

"And Nymphadora"

"Just call her Dora" Sirius shivered "That name is horrid"

Remus laughed.

Sirius’s smile showed how much he liked his little family. He only had Andromeda and Regulus now. He had been so happy to spend the day with them. Right before The Holidays. Probably it hadn't been like with The Potters. But they were his family.

"I had a really good time with them"

And it had made Remus love Sirius more. He didn't think it was possible to love someone so much. Even if they were just friends.

Sirius, now bored with the drawings on the window, found another distraction in playing with Remus's wrist bands. Every time Sirius touched his skin, Remus felt shivers down his spine.

"I didn't want to let Regulus go" Sirius added with a sad tone.

The Black Brothers were a total Rollercoaster. Remus had seen them fight like cats and dogs one moment. And then act like best friends at the other. While at The Tonks' they had been at peace. Teasing each other occasionally, but fine. Until Regulus said he was coming back to Grimmauld Place for the rest of the Holidays.

"I can believe he keeps choosing them over me"

"He is going to be fine, Pads"

At this point, they were gently touching each other's fingers and palms. Innocent play. But with a lot of meaning in between.

"He is too vulnerable" Sirius added with disdain "Reg is going to let them manipulate him. Something they wanted to do with me"

Remus couldn't help but rub his shoulders. Something a friend would do to comfort him.

"Regulus is very clever. He won't do anything he doesn't want to"

Sirius took a deep breath "Let's not talk about it. It's almost Christmas. I want to take advantage of our moments together before going back to Hogwarts"

"What do you want to do?" Remus asked in amusement "It's almost midnight and we don't have any money left"

"Only what Andy gave to me" Sirius smirked

"For our train tickets for tomorrow" Remus reminded him.

"We still have something left to buy some wine"

"She said that was for tickets and food"

"I am not hungry. Ate plenty at The Tonks. You?"

Remus wanted to smile. Remus wanted to say yes to everything. Remus wanted to follow Sirius anywhere. And do whatever he said. Because Remus loved him.

"I am always hungry. You know that" Remus teased.

"We'll buy some snacks with the wine"

Remus smiled now "You are impossible" he said. Sirius smiled innocently. Remus wanted to kiss him. "Add some fags to the list. Fen left me clean"

That made Sirius laugh "Deal"

The whole ride back to Alphard's flat was full of gentle touches and closeness. Remus let Sirius place his legs on his lap. They were wrapped around each other like some puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. They held hands. Sirius was scooping closer and closer. Placing his head on Remus's shoulder. Remus was getting addicted to Sirius’s smell and warmth.

Somehow it was a mixture of perfection and the slow craving of more. Remus didn't want to think how friends weren't supposed to do this. He didn't want to measure how romantic or how platonic this was. It was just happening.

They had always been close. Even before they started kissing and doing other stuff. Especially now that they had shared secrets and everything was at the open. It was clear they loved each other. And if Remus didn't think much about how or what they were, he could enjoy what he was having with Sirius.

"We should probably call Prongs to tell him we are alive"

Once in the flat, Remus was at ease. He didn't want to think about the fact that he would spend the night alone with Sirius. The night before, Grant had been something to focus. But now, it was only the two of them.

"Call him. I'll light the fireplace. It is freezing in here"

In front of the chimney and after several glasses of wine and some cigarettes, Remus was relaxed and warm.

"Alphard had taste for many things, not for decorating I am afraid" Sirius commented as he looked around.

Remus had been too worried about Grant last night to appreciate this place. Now more at ease, his eyes wandered around. Everything looked expensive and luxurious. Only the best that money could buy. Though Sirius was right. The decorations made the place look a bit ancient.

"Did you know my Uncle used to make hell of parties in this very place?"

Remus smiled "Yeah?"

"Brought many lovers in here as well" Sirius added, then chuckled "Imagine all the sex these walls had witnessed"

Remus was mid sip of his wine when he choked by the comment.

"If walls could talk" Sirius raised his eyebrows teasingly.

"I'm not sure you'd want to listen to those stories" Remus commented.

"My Uncle was a true slag" Sirius took a sip of his drink "At least he had fun"

Remus couldn't believe he was blushing. He was a bit drunk. And fuck it, he was getting hornier. He had promised himself he could be just Sirius’s friend. But it was impossible not to want him if he was so bloody pretty.

"How about you?" Remus asked with stupid drunk confidence "Are you bringing lovers when you move in?"

"I am having parties as well" Sirius answered looking only to the fire.

"What about the lovers?"

Sirius’s eyes fixed on Remus. The boy was out of breath for a second. Sirius scooped closer. Time felt like it had been stopped. Sirius hesitated before touching Remus's curls. Remus let him. Sirius’s hand moved towards his ear. Remus froze. Sirius caressed his neck delicately. Remus closed his eyes because the gesture was giving tiny shots of pleasure.

"I brought you, didn't I?" Sirius whispered before leaning in for a kiss.

It took all the strength in the world to look away and not kiss Sirius back.

"Sirius," Remus began with a trembling voice "You know we can't do this"

Sirius wasn't expecting that answer clearly. He looked hurt. And a bit confused.

"Yeah sorry" Sirius pursed his lips in disappointment "Just best friends, I get it"

"You were the one who said you needed time to figure things out" Remus snapped angrily.

Sirius wasn't supposed to be the hurt one. Not after everything he had made Remus go through.

"Yeah I know" Sirius shrugged, trying to sound uninterested "I just wanted to kiss you" he looked down to his empty cup "It's probably the wine"

But Remus's temper had changed. Everything was so fine with Sirius, so glorious, so brilliant, until he ruined it all.

"Fuck it, Sirius, you know very well how I feel about you" Remus said as he raised to his feet to pour himself more wine. He needed to be drunker.

"It was just a silly kiss, Remus, relax"

Remus turned in surprising speed, almost spilling the bottle on the carpet.

"I do want to kiss you!" And maybe he raised his voice a little "I love you!" he added, taking Sirius by surprise. Although he had said it many times already "But all you do is play with me when you want. You might be used to everyone being at your feet and maybe I used to be at your feet myself. But I can't do this anymore"

Sirius’s expression turned to fury. Eyes glistening by tears. He rose to his feet as well.

"You think I do this to mess up with you? Of course not, Moony! I want you for real"

Their yells echoed through the empty walls reminding both that no one had lived in that place for months. The ghost of the lonely man that used to own the flat was long gone. Perhaps the place hadn't known love. Maybe sex, fun and parties but not love.

"I know you do" Remus answered "But I don't want to be wanted by you. I want to be loved by you, Padfoot!"

Sirius opened his mouth to say something he didn't dare. Instead he replied with:

"Fuck me, Remus! You love to play this game as well. Who was touchy touchy with me in tube just hours ago? You've been all over me all day!"

Remus snorted in disbelief.

"You are the one who taunts me all the time with your touchy shows of affection and your flirtatious words!" Sirius replied with rage "I said I needed time!"

"What do you want me to do? Bloody ignore you?? We were supposed to be fucking friends, weren't we?"

"I don't think we can be friends" Sirius tutted "Everything is ruined now. Are we going to be awkward forever?"

"You are the one who made it awkward"

"Fuck you! You were practically begging me to kiss you!"

"Fuck you! You're the slag that threw himself at me!"

"And now you're acting like a prude, ha?"

Just like that the little spark turned into a fire, burning everything around them. How easily they exploded with words that hurt each other like daggers when minutes before it was good between them. Remus was sick and tired of how much Sirius made him hate him. Just like he was tired of how much Sirius made him love him. All at the same time.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, SIRIUS!"

Sirius’s force was unstoppable as he approached.

"FUCK ME YOURSELF, YOU COWARD!"

Before Remus could react, Sirius pulled him by his neck into the most passionate snog, the hottest kiss he had ever experienced.

And God knows Remus tried to fight against it, but seconds later he gave into it faster than falling from a cliff. He opened his mouth for Sirius’s tongue. Remus tasted heaven for a second before Sirius broke apart. Remus would have protested but Sirius only needed seconds to whisper the next words:

"I am crazy in love with you, Moony. You drive me insane"

Sirius’s words were rushed and Remus didn't have time to process them. Sirius was attacking his mouth again. Remus was distracted with pinches of pleasure on his mouth as he felt Sirius’s tongue again. And pinches of pleasure when Sirius’s fingers ran through his hair.

When the message was processed by his brain, all Remus could do was smile between kisses. And he carried on. He carried on. Nobody could stop him now.

Remus didn't know how they got to one of the rooms, probably Alphard's, Remus didn't care. They were suddenly fully snogging on the softest bed Remus had touched. Sirius on top of him.

Remus's body raised in temperature. He realized he was only a human and needed air to survive only when Sirius detached his lips from Remus's mouth to his neck. Remus had only microseconds of air until it became difficult to breathe again for the delicious thing Sirius was doing to his neck.

Remus's instinct was to press him closer to him. And the sound that came out of their mouths was almost animalistic. It made Remus laugh.

"God, I love you"

Sirius let out a little snort on his collarbone.

"Moony, Moony, Moony.... I love you more"

Remus felt like fireworks on his chest. Those three words were better than any kiss or touch that Sirius could give him. That euphoric feeling made him smile to the dark.

Sirius giggled "Of course I love you. And I am scared of how much"

Remus caressed Sirius’s back in response. Then he stroked his soft hair.

"Sorry," Sirius added, looking down at Remus. They smiled at each other "I swear I didn't bring you here for this. And I certainly wasn't planning to confess my feelings like that. But, oh Moons, you made it difficult"

Remus chuckled "Well, you shouldn't have tried to kiss me in the first place"

"You looked adorable and irresistible" Sirius pouted. "What was I supposed to do?"

Remus let out a little laugh.

Sirius began playing with Remus's hair as if that gesture didn't drive him crazy.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want" Sirius said. Remus noticed the nervousness in his voice. He adored this vulnerable Sirius.

"You mean..."

Sirius bit his lip "What I said about my Uncle is true. But it was stupid to bring it up. You make me say stupid things, Moons"

"Yeah, blame me" Remus teased, making Sirius hit his arm playfully.

"I want you" Sirius added, and the way he said it sent shivers down Remus's spine "But it's okay if you want to wait"

"Are you proposing me to have sex with you in the same place your Uncle probably had sex with several men?"

"Way to bring the mood down, Moony"

Remus giggled. He was an idiot. He had only said that to hide the fact he was really really nervous. He admired Sirius for talking about this upfront. That's how Sirius got what he wanted most of the time.

Remus had wanted this for a long time. He had imagined it in his head. They were alone. Something that would be difficult back at Hogwarts. And he was completely in love with this boy. So why not? The only problem was that Remus was utterly scared. Mainly of what Sirius would say about his body. What if he didn't like it? What if he found it disgusting?

Stupid bloody fear.

Sirius must've read his mind because he took it as a red light. So he rolled to the side, panting to the ceiling.

"We should probably finish the wine and go to sleep, Moons. Prongs made me promise we would be at the Castle in the morning. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow, remember?"

Remus didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want to lose the opportunity to be with Sirius. He was dying to touch him and show him how much he loved him. Hell, he was a teenage boy in love. He couldn't wait to have his top surgery to have sex, right? He wanted Sirius more than he had wanted anything.

So he rolled to his side, took Sirius’s shirt and pulled him into a wet desperate kiss. Sirius responded willingly.

In no time, they were all over each other again.

Remus pulled Sirius’s shirt off. And Sirius did the same with his. Sirius kissed the bruises and scars Fen had left the day before.

"I want you to be the first, Sirius" Remus whispered to the other boy in the dark. "I want to be yours forever"

Remus felt how Sirius's heart speed up with his words and Remus could've sworn seeing him blushing even in the poor light. Sirius was absolutely gorgeous and God how much Remus loved him.

"But I am not taking this off" Remus added, pointing to his binder "Is that okay?"

Sirius nodded at once. His eyes were shining as he said: "You're so beautiful, Remus".

The fact that he used his name made everything more real. Remus believed him.

"I love you" Sirius added shyly.

Remus smiled.

"I think I've loved you since the first day I saw you. I just didn't know it. I was a fool ten year old boy"

Remus touched his cheek. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't believe Sirius felt the same. Remus had loved this boy since he was a kid. This love had seemed impossible, unreachable and one-sided for so long that Remus couldn't believe it had been the same for Sirius. They had been terrible idiots.

"If you're saying things to get me horny, let me tell you I already am"

That comment made them laugh but also break the ice. And cut the little tension they were having for their potential first time.

"And here I was trying to declare my sweet love to you, Moons" Sirius tutted "You have to make everything sexual..."

"Shut up and kiss me" Remus interrupted with a sweet delicate kiss.

A kiss that started everything. Nothing stopped them after that. There was no time for words. But they told each other everything with touches and sighs of pleasure. The walls of that flat witnessed something extraordinary. Not only hot and messy sex once again. But the most honest demonstration of love. Remus liked to believe they had been the first ones to make magic while making love.

Remus would remember it as the happiest night of his life.

#marauders #maraudersera #marauders headcanon #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #trans remus lupin #alphard black

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hazbinhappy · 10 months ago

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If you wouldn’t mind doing a matchup for me, I’d appreciate it. Only characters I would like to avoid would be Adam & Valentino.

I am on the aroace spectrum. Demi for both. I am bi-oriented. My pronouns are they/them.

I am autistic so I have sensory issues. I also have social issues and would like to get a service dog specifically for DPT (deep pressure therapy, applying pressure to the body to help ground & regulate heart rate) and social interactions.

I am a big animal person. I have four pets in total right now but have had many and will have many more. I’ve had animals of all kinds, birds, reptiles, dogs, cats. I’ve even worked with horses before. Very big on animals. I prefer them to people.

I wouldn’t say I’m shy necessary, more so just traumatized. When I’m in a space I feel comfortable I’m very loud, very opinionated. I tend to use bullying as a form of affection but never let it go too far. I’m petty as fuck. I’m also very blunt and brash. In spite of that I do try to be kind and help people but if you ask me for my opinion I’m going to give you my unfiltered opinion. Yes, that dress washes you out give it away.

I enjoy writing, reading, drawing, and theater. I cook and bake a lot. I like to have things organized, obsessively so. I also enjoy dance. I specifically would like to try pole dancing but for a while I hyperfixated on swing dancing. Of course, I never had a partner though. I do try to maintain an active lifestyle by going on walks with my dogs among other things. My goal is to build up enough muscle to carry dogs of all sizes and a future partner.

My clothing style tends to lean alternative. I like blacks, purples, blues, and greens. I’m not a fan of warm toned colors but I will wear maroons. I like wearing tight fitted clothes and crop tops but I also have a special interest in historical fashion so I’ll wear just about anything.

In terms of a demon form for me specifically. . . I feel like I’d be a moth, a thylacine, or a bobcat type demon. I honestly don’t really care which as long as I get fangs because fangs should be gender affirming care.

Anyway, hugs and kisses if you want them.

- @am-i-interrupting

Your Matchup is...

Husk!

This was a bit hard because it was either him or Vaggie, but I landed on him! Mainly due to how you described your personality and I think you two would get along great and just :) i made it up to your interpretation if it's romantic or platonic! @am-i-interrupting

y'all would meet either through the hotel or during Alastor's seven year absence! most likely the latter so let's run with that for this

he was probably on his way TO the casino (as if he shouldn't just live there with how much he frequents it) when you guys bumped into each other!

one of your dogs who was a bit too friendly today decided to run up to the grump and ask to be pet

Husk being Husk immediately backs up while you're trying to apologize for the dog's action and explain it away, but Husk also isn't a complete asshole so he lets it go

but it's on his mind for the rest of the day.... and so what does he do? he takes that same path every day at the same time hoping to bump into you

after like the fifth time he finally pets the dog and you two maybe share a few words. maybe several dozen times later you two start to hang out a bit

once Alastor's back though you're sad to not have you're walking friend anymore

but when you heard Alastor was back and at a hotel you suspected that is somewhere where Husk bit be (good thing for hunches!)

i wouldn't say you'd frequent the hotel because it looks very far out, but on your more free days you might take the dogs out for a longer walk for them to see their grumpy friend

(As for the other pets, they do get to occasionally come, but only if Nifty is super busy. Only the dogs and cats aren't scared of her. Honestly I'd just be scared of her period)

"Well look who showed up here."

"You say that every week, fool. You should expect me at this point. Where is everyone?"

"Charlie and Vaggie are attempting to campaign this whole failure again, Angel is working, Sir Pentious is in that weird blimp, and Alastor is fucking somewhere."

"And Nifty?"

"Haven't figure it out."

"Good things I did not bring over the little guys then. Just the dogs."

You unclipped them from their leashes to let them roam around the main floor of the hotel, though they stuck behind the bar with Husk.

"Alastor still has you stuck here? Not even a little break?"

"Convincing that bastard to give me a break is like pulling teeth outta a bear. Never gonna happen."

"Man, fuck him. He's a weirdo asshole."

"One that owns my soul."

"Dumbass."

"Fuck you."

"Love you toooo."

A/n: Thank youuu XOXO (You also did my matchup which I really loved!)

#hh matchup #hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel matchup #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel husker #hazbin hotel x reader #husk x reader #husker x reader

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bettsfic · 6 months ago

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Oh yes! I think you would love the main protagonists and their connection. I'm feral about this movie, I just watched the day before yesterday, and I'm so anxious to have time off so I can draw fanart of the thing because it's soooo good.

Now, I love horror, so I have seen so much horror in my life that I can tell you this is one of those movies in the genre that are different. Our protagonist is Sam (short for Samira) and she has a cat named Frodo (I'm sorry but that was genius in so many ways, I can't tell you why because spoilers but they really make it made sense, there is truly a connection there). Frodo the cat is a character as well, I have never seen a movie before that has an animal that has indeed some weight into the movie (at least not one that is not like Marley and Me or those kind of movies).

Anyway, sorry, back to Sam. The first thing you know when the movie starts is that she has cancer. A woman who has cancer in a movie that develops into an apocalyptic world is really interesting. The movie explored this in detail, and I loved every second.

She is tired, she is angry, she is brave, and at the same time, you can tell she is scared af. She has some problems trying to connect with people because she thinks there is no point in it anymore, and probably because she thinks they are sorry for her and therefore their interest is not genuine.

She used to be a writer. She wrote a book about poems. She doesn't have the drive to write anymore, but she carries a notebook, whatever she goes, and I love her so much, Betty. I can't even explain the whole of it.

So next, we get to know the ML. Name is Eric, she is from England and went to NY to study to be a lawyer. He is how you write Eddie on your Stranger Things fics. I went even more feral at this point, I was chewing my fist. They were perfect together.

They connect. They make wonderful things for each other.

THEY EXCHANGE CLOTHES!!!!

OLDER WOMAN, YOUNGER MAN!!!

I don't wanna say more about it so you can enjoy it for the first time yourself, if you want to watch it. (But if you want to know more, just say so, I would be happy to talk about it for hours!)

I would say something I just learned yesterday before I go. Eric has anxiety in the movie. He has panic and anxiety attacks during the movie. What they removed is that he was trying to kill himself when the whole alien/monster ordinal began, and then, he met Sam. They erase this part from the movie, I guess because of time, because I could tell anyway while watching that Eric was maybe suecidal or that al least he was neurodivergent (again, I would love to elaborate but spoilers).

Hope you have the chance to watch it, I would love to know your thoughts if you do so. Also, you can scream at me about it if you enjoy it as much as I did.

So basically, this is a movie about two really lonely people that connect and gain perspective about life and themselves while trying to survive the beginning of an apocalypse. It felt very transformative. It was perfect.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Also, sorry for any weird grammar sentences. I hope I manage to come across all my ideas, English is not my first language.

I forgot to tell you, they are not trying to escape the apocalypse for 3rd parts of the movie. They are just trying to get pizza. SAM STOPS TO SMELL BOOKS AT A BOOK STORE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN APOCALYPSE!! HELP! SAD BOY FOLLOWING OLDER WOMAN LIKE A PUPPY!! There is so much going on, and I can tell this is not a horror per se. I just adore them so much. Sorry, I just needed to add these.

okay you have Compelled me. i will walk to the ends of the earth for any "sad boy following older woman like a puppy" narrative.

this is one of the few movies i don't want to see alone so i'll have to see if my roommate would want to go with me sometime this week. if i see it i'll let you know my thoughts!

#a quiet place day one #film rec

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wheelin-after-midnight · 4 days ago

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43.

1. What’s the last song you had stuck in your head?

Easy on me by Adele. Kept singing it the other day, but just the first verse and the first chorus. It's my favourite part and just randomly got stuck in my head after hearing it again recently.

2. If you could travel to any time period, when would it be?

I would go back to when my Nan was a young woman and meet/know her before she was my Nan. I would have loved to know more of her than I already did.

3. What’s the weirdest food combination you actually like?

Well I don't think it's weird obviously, cause I eat it - but my family thinks mayonnaise as a dipping sauce for fries is weird. I also put sirracha mayo on a lot of rice dishes and nobody else I know does that.

4. How do you usually spend your weekends?

Either alone or on adventures/outings with Brittany, mostly.

5. Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?

Fly. I already feel invisible quite often and flight would be one of the next best types of freedom to being able bodied.

6. What’s one thing you can’t go a day without doing?

Feeding and brushing Nippy, brushing her teeth, (yes I brush my cats teeth at the recommendation of my vet since she's been old enough to have it done) cleaning her boxes, playing with her, smooching her floofy little face and telling her she's my absolute best friend in the world and I love her more than anything. Ended up being more than one thing, but whatever. While we're at it, I make sure I don't go a day without telling my girlfriend how much I love her, even if we've had little disagreements or misunderstandings or whatever. I don't like to go to bed upset with each other. She almost died on me a few years ago. I'd never forgive myself if I love you or one of our conversations about what we mean to each other wasn't one of the last things that was said.

7. Do you believe in luck or fate?

I don't wholeheartedly believe in one or the other, tbh.

8. If you could switch lives with any celebrity for a day, who would it be?

Oprah, just because I don't really have a single problem in my life right now that more money would not solve or at least greatly alleviate.

9. What’s the most recent show you binge-watched?

Season two of shrinking on apple tv! Omg I love that show so much! I'm sad I have to wait for season three now.

10. Do you prefer sunsets or sunrises?

Both are beautiful, but I'm more likely to be awake and fully able to appreciate sunsets.

11. If you had to eat one type of candy for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Idk. I'm not a candy person. I consider chocolate its own category. I was obsessed with the winter apple chocolates in the merci winter collection box when I got some from my sister for Christmas, so a lifetime supply of those or anything Reese's would be okay with me.

12. What’s your go-to comfort food?

Homemade mac and cheese or pizza. Also sometimes things with really good bread, like pumpernickel or sourdough breads and some kind of dip. I really love bread.

13. What’s a talent you wish you had?

Freehand drawing things without thinking about it too much and not having it turn out like trash! People can just freehand shit impress me so much!

14. If you could be any animal for a day, which one would you choose?

My cat, because she's the most spoiled, pampered, loved and cared for animal I've ever met in my life. I wouldn't have had it any other way no matter what cat I ended up with, but Ms. ma'am deserved it even more, considering the situation I took her from.

15. What’s the most random compliment you’ve ever received?

I'm just gonna go with the most recent one. Things have been really... not great.... with my mum lately and I've been extremely upset about it. I was telling babe stuff on the phone today and kind of venting, she's known me a long time, so knows all the history. Anyway, I got really upset and started crying to the point I couldn't talk for a bit, and babe was like, "I'm so sorry. I honestly can't believe you - a beautiful, open, flower of a soul, came from her. You deserve to be treated so much better." Then I cried even more. Obviously. 🥹

#personal #surveys #text #questions #survey

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owiphony · 15 days ago

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Airiena headcanons (very AU-ish)

trans girl airi

they started dating first year middle school. Airi wasn't out yet but Ena was the first person she came out to. Ena was open that she was a lesbian tho so that also helped Airi in trusting her. (Ena would only really tell people about her sexual orientation if they were her friend or if it came up but she wasn't particularly hiding it)

airi does a lot of the house chores ex. cleaning, laundry, etc. (EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT HER HOUSE 😭 ) but she does it because she know that it takes Ena a lot of energy to do those simple tasks (cause depression lol). She also just wants Ena to have more energy and time to do what she wants. Ena does try and pick up more of her chores because if she doesn't do them then Airi will and she doesn't want Airi to have to do that.

this one has more of a tw for sh but anyways || cause Ena had a reoccurring problem with it. Airi didn't know how to help. Everything that she could do/tried to do didn't work so she just tried to be a comfort. So she bought bandages with designs on them cause she knows that Ena hates that she does that shit to herself and also hates the dull white bandages that she sees constantly. So these bandages with designs on them are just meant to make Ena feel better about how it looks and to feel less guilt and shit about it all. ||

Ena watches the momojan streams and occasionally pauses the streams when Airi is on camera and then she'll draw that. Cooking stream with momojan? Ena drew Airi making a cheesecake (that cheesecake was later brought to Ena). Dance practice with momojan? Ena used it for pose practice.

related to this^^^ Ena has a sketchbook of only Airi and she gets SO embarrassed when Airi looks through it. But despite her embarrassment, she will always let Airi look through it.

^^ sort of continue. If you open Ena's sketchbooks, you'll always find small doodles in the white void of the main drawing. Those are always drawn by Airi.

The two of them have their wallpapers as each other. Ena's lockscreen is the day she confessed to Airi (girl has not changed her wallpaper for 5 years). Her home screen is her and Airi under the cherry blossoms (this one usually changes to different photos of her and Airi tho). Airi's lock screen is Ena with a cat and her home screen is just them kissing.

Despite this all EVERYONE and i mean EVERYONE don't realize airiena is dating. The only people that know are the people in their family. These girls aren't hiding it from their friends or anything either, outsiders all just think they bestie vibes only. It's the most obvious thing that airiena is utterly infatuated with each other but no one picks up on it/thinks much of it (quite offensive in airiena's opinions)

Airiena had a secret makeout spot behind a tree in middle school. They didn't always use it to make out but almost every time they madeout it was behind that tree. (sometimes they kissed in storage closets or the bathroom but those weren’t very romantic environments.)

^^^ once airiena had stayed behind in school for long enough that they ended up having a make out session in their classroom

^^ now that the two of them go to different schools, they get a bit sad they can’t do much like that anymore (however, they have snuck each other into their respective schools just for fun)

In middle school, before Airi came out (and even after she came out), people thought they were dating since they were always together (they were dating but in a very lesbian way, and they knew people didn't understand that, so they would usually say they weren't. Mainly cause then they would call Airi Ena's "boyfriend" when she was, in fact Ena's wonderful girlfriend.

Airi had the worser of mental health of the two when they first met. It flipped as time went on

^^ because Airi knows how feels to be in the depths of depression and things like it, she talks to Ena with as much understanding as she can. But she didn't go through everything that Ena goes through (mental-health wise, experience-wise, etc.)

these two cannot keep their hands off each other. They're always holding hands, linking arms, leaning on each other, cuddling, hugging, etc. you think it? they do it (and they have no shame)

^^ they only really keep to the listed ones when in public. Airi is still an idol, and they don't want unnecessary drama because they decided to kiss in a very populated area.

^^^ however, Ena finds the dumb idol disguise (sunglasses and a medical mask) really funny. Sometimes she likes to press a kiss to Airi's lips through the mask and it makes Airi immediately pull down the mask because it's no fair that a piece of cloth gets Ena's kiss and not her lips!!

Akito is an Airi oshi because he likes how much she makes Ena feel better.

^^Airiena being together kept Akito and Ena's relationship on the closer side cause Ena had more support when she was going through it™. Akito still calls Ena "nee-chan" cause of it, and it's an unexpected cute side that An and Mizuki gawk at

Ena LOVES when Airi feeds her and Airi loves to feed Ena if it'll make her happy.

Airi’s pigtails and yellow ribbons actually come from Ena. She’s just too gay and sentimental to change her hairstyle

^^^ with a similar reasoning. Ena once told Airi that she likes Airi’s stomach/when her stomach is exposed. So now Airi always has her stomach exposed in a lot of her outfits. Ena doesn’r actually know that she’s the reason behind this rather she thinks Airi just agreed and liked the crop tops.

The reason the yellow cat pillows are yellow are because of Airi's yellow ribbons. The ribbons come from the first time Ena dressed Airi really cute and girly (which was pre-relationship)

Their first date was a shopping date and they bought those cat pillows to remember that day

^^The two of them have a big liking to yellow because of this. It’s their favourite colour, with pink being a close contender.

They like to bite each other. They’re usually small bites and they don’t happen too often (usually they’ll just kiss instead) it’s just sometimes their feelings for each other overwhelm them and they go chomp. It’s always a surprise to the other when it’s done but they don’t mind.

Airi is always much warmer than Ena so Ena always subconsciously ends up gravitating towards Airi (even when it’s way too hot to be that close)

Ena once (and by once i mean multiple times) dressed up as a cat for Airi and Airi almost exploded. (they kissed so much)

These two are heavily oblivious to when other people like them. They only have eyes for each other, so when someone else likes them, they don’t give that person enough time of day to realize that they’re into them.

^^^They don’t really feel jealousy when others are close to the other. They trust each other fully. However, they do like to make an exaggerated point of closeness/their relationship if someone seems to be acting a bit close for comfort.

sometimes airiena swaps around their matching cat pillows because they want each other's scent on the pillow for when they aren't having sleepovers. They've been doing it ever since they got those pillows and they almost once mixed which one was whose first so they wrote on the tags which pillow is whose (as if it matters when they switch them around so often)

they subconciously know each others scent really well so if the other is nearby then that can usually calm them down/feel safer

They have sleepovers very frequently

Ena usually can’t sleep very well/very long/ has a hard time to. It has to do with the fact she’s constantly on edge. If Airi is around, then she falls asleep very well/quickly cause she feels the safest with Airi

Airiena love langauges go! :

Ena likes to receive affirmation

Airi likes to receive quality time

Ena gives touch and quality time

Airi gives acts of service and touch (but she will give words of affirmation to Ena, it's just not her default love language)

These two have way more matching items than we know. I’m sure they have matching phone cases even

#airiena #airi x ena #ena x airi #shinonome ena #ena shinonome #momoi airi #airi momoi #headcanon #pjsk headcanons #prsk headcanons #my headcanons #my au #you should totes follow me 4 airiena #i am airiena’s only soldier #i love them so much i think i need to be put down cause this cannot be healthy #puppy meows

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cljordan-imperium · 1 year ago

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Arthur & Kate (Art & Kay)

Peakys Write A Letter

SUMMARY: While at war, Arthur receives a letter from his wife Kate. He had been home weeks before for a visit and she has not heard from him since, but she has some news to tell him, along with that she misses him dearly. Her letter gives him the fire he needs, and his letter indicates such in return. A/N = I received the amazing letter from @runnning-outof-time from her OC Katherine Shelby (Kate). My apologies for the great delay in responding but I was having trouble channeling Arthur...then one of my OC's took control and said that he identified with Arthur...so I hope that he is right and this is an adequate response. (I'm nervous y'all) I hope I did your wonderful letter justice!

TW = BLOOD/WAR/DEATH

(@runnning-outof-time)

Dearest Arthur,

I hope all is well with you. I hate that I have not heard from you in such a long while, but I understand that these sorts of things will happen when you're out on the front.

Being able to see you last month was like a dream come true. The girls are still reeling from it, and Lottie insists that you need to come home every other week now. I tried to tell her that it doesn't work like that, but she doesn't listen. She won't let me read another bedtime story because 'I don't do it like daddy does'.

Elsie wanted me to tell you that she lost a tooth, her very first tooth, and that she didn't even cry when it fell out. Of course, we couldn't find said tooth because it fell out when she was playing in the garden with Mr. Whiskers. By the way, we have a cat now...Mr. Whiskers kept showing up at our doorstep, so the girls convinced me to take him in. He's a very sweet addition to our household, one that I hope you will take to warmly when you return.

The girls are growing so much each day, so much so that I'm afraid you may not recognize them when you return. And they ask for you at the hardest times; at the times where I also am missing you. They wonder why you can't come back like you did, and why they can't talk to you. I tried to explain it, but I'm afraid that it goes over their heads. Children shouldn't have to understand war. They shouldn't have to worry if their family members will come back or not. It's been so hard to try to keep things positive around them, but with how bleak things have been looking, I'm afraid that my positivity may not last for much longer. Oh Arthur, you don’t know how hard it is for me to keep up the front that all is fine in front of them while I worry for your safety every second of every day.

Anyway, I won't fill the majority of this letter with my sad thoughts. Let me share some good news instead. Polly has managed to take total control of the shop, and she's running things in a way that has allowed us to continue making profits even though many men are out on the frontlines. She actually wanted me to ask you: how would you feel if she and I continued with our idea of hosting a special for women on certain race days? I know Tommy has his ideas of how the family business should be run, but you're the oldest and therefore have the power to make this decision. I feel as though this would continue to help Small Heath as a whole.

The nights are much quieter now with you and the boys being gone. Although at times quieter is better, I do miss the nights where we'd all stay up and share stories, and the nights we'd go out and camp under the stars. Oh, how much simpler those times were compared to the life we're living now.

I don't have much room left on the page, so I'll wrap this up with a few more, quick things. First, Elsie and Lottie have asked me to enclose some of their 'most favorite' drawings in this letter for you. It excites me to think that they're taking after you with their artistic talents. Second, I'm thinking of changing my hairstyle up...you may not even recognize me when you come home again. Lastly, along with Mr. Whiskers (who will not be leaving no matter what), how would you feel about us raising chickens?

I hope to hear from you soon, Art. Please be safe.

Sending all of my love until I can see you again,

Yours Always,

Kate Shelby

**************************************************

(me)

My Dearest and Darling Kay,

How the pictures from the children did make me long to feel the warmth of your arms and to hear the sound of their laughter as they played in the yard. Such comforts are far from where they boys and I are though. While we are presently safe, the nights are cold and the sounds are never as melodious as your voice or the rhymes the children make to entertain themselves.

Do not fret, for this shall end and the life we once knew will return. I can feel it in my bones as surely as I know that Tommy will always find trouble no matter where he shall be and Polly will be the strongest person any of us know. As I said Tommy makes trouble and Polly is strong, but she is also smart. If she is making a profit, I see no reason to change things when we return. My darling, I am proud of you, so proud my heart swells that you two have done so well. I cannot wait to stand beside you and back you. I hope you can feel my love surround you as you work. Tell Polly that I’ll deal with Tommy if he has something to say, and we all know the bastard will.

Of course Elsie could find her tooth. The Tooth Fairie already captured it and brought it over to me here on the frontlines. She wanted me to have something so special since I can’t be there to see it. And she wanted me to send this coin for it, it was too heavy for her to carry all the way back over here from France. You see, during war, sometimes the Tooth Fairie has to make special trips and have couriers. But she can’t tell anyone, it’s a secret. The Tooth Faerie is a spy for the British to bring me home sooner.

I am sorry I have not written sooner, since my visit my heart has ached so. I have seen the you and the girls when my eyes have closed, your voices seeming to call to me in my dreams, but I awake afresh in this hell around me. The mud and blood causing my thoughts to be dark and I did not want to burden your bright and beautiful soul with the thoughts of this tortured man that loves you more than my own life. I would start to put thoughts to paper and I could not put upon you the darkness I have felt, I could not dim you in that way, my bright and shining Northern Star that guides me through this dark time as we fight. I will come home to you, we can raise cats and chickens, goat and cows if you want. I do not care how you do your hair, if you even do it at all. As long as that smile that you had when I was last home, that one that graced your angelic face when I surprised you, that one of utter adoration; if that one is upon your lips, then I do not care if the rest of the Earth falls to ruin, Kay, as long as there is you.

So you tell those girls that John, Tommy, and I will be home soon. You get with Penny and you make sure you are all ready. Because we will win this war, Kay, we will. We have to. We’ve lost too many to give up and come home like dogs with our tails between our legs. I have to believe this to keep the darkness that haunts my heart at bay. We will come home and when we do we will have a party like Small Heath has never seen, we can stay up till dawn and not give a fuck who cares. I will come home to you Kay, if I have to kill the devil himself to do it.

So, you do up that hair how you want. You buy a nice dress. And you know I am coming.

Art

@runnning-outof-time @call-sign-shark @shelbydelrey @look-at-the-soul @raincoffeeandfandoms @there-goes-thefighter @dandelionprints @zablife

#the peakys receive a letter #peaky blinders #peakys write letters #peaky blinder fanfic #writeblr #my writing #friend's writing #writeblr community #writeblr connect #writing

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hauntingjasper · 7 months ago

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Flame is so beautiful in your art style.

Headcanons about him?

Aww thank you! Honestly FP is such a tricky character for me to draw, i'm glad you like it 😭

There's so little information about this guy it's crazy, i'm just pulling stuff out of my magic hat for this one.

1- Different backstories, you know the drill. Instead of being locked away inside a lantern, he was successfully abandoned by the Flame Queen. He was left somewhere that didn't have much to set on fire, consequently leaving no traces to be found, like a desert, perhaps. Eventually he found his way out and started wandering around the land.

2- He likes to make tiny glass statues with sand. It's one of the few nice things he can do when he's a walking fire.

3- Hear me out on Brazilian Flame Prince okay it's the last time I'll shove my Brazilian hcs on you I promise- /j Anyway the reason for this one is that Flame Prince looked like the Curupira at the beginning of Natasha Allegri’s F&C comic and I found it funny enough to make it into a headcanon. I have other reasons, such as:

» Almost making him a Maned Wolf in Jackalope Fionna's AU (he's a Will-o'-the-wisp now but the thought is still there), and Maned Wolves are considered a symbol here in Brazil.

» Another folklore reference: If Fionna's magical word had an Elementals Arc, I imagined him becoming a fire snake thing like the Boitatá instead of a salamander dragon.

» The vibes told me.

4- I don't think he has a canon birth date, so I hc that his birthday is on August 22,, , Yes, it's because it's Folklore Day here in Brazil are you seeing the pattern yet

That would also make him a Leo. And he has lions. Get it? (⁠☞ﾟ⁠ヮﾟ⁠)⁠☞

5- He's bisexual and just as unaware as Fionna. But in his defense, he wasn't taught how being gay works.

6- He likes popcorn. Not that he can eat it, he just likes to see it pop.

7- He's more water resistant. Of course, you can't throw him in a swimming pool and expect him to survive, but he seemingly can handle light rain for a while. I think he'd be so stubborn about it oml you'd tell him a million times not to go out while it's raining and he's like "It's just a drizzle let me go >:(", until his body starts giving out near the end and he needs some dry wood to recover. Just get the damn umbrella, fire boy.

8- Biggest cat person you'll know. Cats will sit around him because he's warm and he'll refuse to move. I think his human self would have many cats in his house to reference the fire kittens he has.

9- His interactions with Fionna made me so sad in the comic, the way he immediately tried to hug her when he regained consciousness oughjsuwhs That boy has never received physical affection in his life and when he finally gets it, he somehow manages to lose it again i'm not okay,, , He'd be so clingy if he ever found out about that Flame Shield spell.

10- I hc that he's trans. I've been thinking about how (biological) gender would work for fire elementals because, well... they're fire. Does fire have gender? No idea. Yet they still use gendered terms like daughter, princess, King (though Flame Princess calls herself "King"), etc... So in my mind, it's more a matter of how they're raised according to the parent's preferences and not biology. Flame Prince could've been raised to be a daughter and princess before being abandoned, but went the other direction later on after being surrounded mainly by princes, being referred to as a prince and being assumed he's a guy. He's just okay with it and wouldn't change anything, does that make sense-

At first I didn't have the intention to make him trans, but it just sounds trans so- He's trans, yippie!

11- One thing I never understood in the Fionna and Cake comic is that it says Cake made Flame Prince's outfit… but how the hell did she manage to make unburnable clothes for a fire elemental and so fast too. Right now I'm thinking that she just showed him a sketch for an outfit and he shaped his fire into “clothes”, I don't know. That's where half of his wardrobe comes from.

12- Would gasoline be the equivalent of an energy drink to him? Because I'm starting to think it would. He can drink gasoline.

13- I'm still thinking about what his actual name would be,, , Phoebus sounds okay, but I also like others like Phoenix or Felix. Apollo is also on my suggestion list, since the god himself is associated with light and music, and it fits him considering FP is also a DJ. One day I'll have that figured out.

I think this is all I have for now! Now stay with this thing because I'm still losing my mind over it

#LIKE LEAVE THAT LITTLE GUY ALONE 😭 HE'S GOING THROUGH IT #fionna and cake

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smileymoth · 11 months ago

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Self harm tw

Im not gona do anything rn bc im going home tomorrow and the ones i made last week havent even healed properly but i swear to god one day im going to slice up my wrists just to experience what it looks and feels like because its always been a fucked up fantasy of mine because ive been mentally ill since i was 10 and even without the internet i wouldve lost it some other way. Sometimes i think about going too deep and having to get stitcjes. But if it happened it would be on accident. I woildnt do it on purpose bc im a coward.

I remember in 5th grade we were on a school trip and i lost my mind bc of prohably overstimulation lbr and i started to badly grate away at my wrist witj a plastic knife and that was so cringe i remember feeling cringe immediately since i calmed down and its so embarrassing that i have these thoughts in the first place since youre not supposed to. The next morning i woke up and my dad noticed ky scratched arm and he made a joke about it. It didnt feel too good. Ive never cut too much. I remember in 6tj grade i would cut a small piece of skin off my wrist with scissors and i stkll have a scar from it and it would burn dry to air exposure and id be kinda disturbed bc there was a hole in my skin (go figure) but its so small now. All my sh scars have mostly faded. Ive never done too much because im scared to do too much and go too deep but by god i want to. But i dont want the scars. I dont want my mom to see. I dont want people to see. I just want the feeling it gives. Even if you dont do too much rhe pressure release or adrenaline calmdown after feels so nice and uoi feel so good for like 5 minhtes before you regret what you did. Like its not even a big problem to me lbr i just do a couple to get away iwth saying my cat attacked me and thats why theyre always crooked or i "scratched myself against a screw at school lol" idk if my mom ever really believed me in the first place. Its always awkward when she asks bc i pretend i didnt notjce i have them. And while i dont do it a lot and often ive never cut myself more tjan in the past 2 years. Did my dads death trigger this. I dont know. And i feel like its getting worse slowly. And im just letting it happen because i stopped caring i guess. I dont know. I guess thats why i starved myself in high school bc it was "invisible" and not noticable l. I dont know. I feel so patjetic that i even think about it so often that i do. Like im 22 i should be getting a job and a partner not thinking of which spot on my wrist is most optimal to draw blood with a fucking dirty ass boxcutter that i sprayed a-sept on so if my mom notices it would be least suspicious.

God i cant keep up i cant keep up with life at all im not built for this life it feels like. Im so overwhelmed all the time and i feel disgusting and patjetic and annoying. I dont really care about the things i should i just pretend i care mostly. Thats an autism trait right. Lack of empathy. I feel empathy but sometimes it feels tjat im empathetic just because its right to ne, not tjat i actuallt care. Youd be surprised how little things i acrually care about. Im a little internet attentionwhore who cant kill herself nc her mom and besties would be sad. Im not fucking special for any of this im just pathetic and burnt out and dead on the inside. Im never going to get better am i. Im never going to be what i want to be. Whats the fucking point right. Whats the point of complaining if im not even going to do anything. i wont cut myself open like i want to because its useless and dangerous and doesnt fix anything anyway and i cant kill myself either so ill just complain om tumblr instead and describe in detail how ive cut myself before bc thats entertaining. I feel like im writing a deviantart vent journal

#moth post #tw self harm #tw suicide #im fucking spiraling rn dont mjnd me

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al1x00 · 5 months ago

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⚠️CHAPTER 9 SPOILERS⚠️

OUCHH THE NIGHTMARE😭😭😭 WHY YOU GOTTA HURT ME LIKE THAT KATY?

Hobie letting himself be vulnerable with R is such a stark contrast to the beginning of OPIN. He would never, EVER, let any emotion slip past him, almost like he was afraid of having his feelings exposed, while now he allows himself to show just how much his traumas affected him and isn't afraid to cry in front of R. HE'S JUST A LITTLE PRECIOUS GUY LET HIM LIVE HAPPILY FOR ONCE

When R said the thing about desensitizing the horses to the ducks it reminded me of a video I saw about that but with a cat instead and it was one of the goofiest things I ever saw I swear😭 Imagine R and Hobie holding up the ducks to the horses while they go around in circles or some shit LMAOO

“It doesn't matter. We have forever now.” SJAKDJKBNAS I'M CRYING AND SCREAMING WTF THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH I'M LITERALLY SOBBING.

OH MY GOD THE LETTERS?? I WOULD START CRYING ON THE SPOT TBH.

Also I love how they're both healing their emotional trauma together, all throught reassurements and making up for the time they lost together. They're always so gentle and understanding with eachother because they both just need that right now, to be at peace with eachother and take a quiet life.

“You said that last time and we didn't get anything done the whole day.” OH😳 KATY DOES THIS IMPLY WHAT I THINK IT'S IMPLYING?

“Maybe if we shave your head it might suit you.” BDAS HOBIE REFERENCE??? MAYHAPS?

KATY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DFDKNA SKDA I'M CRYING SO BADLY. NOT ONLY R'S "HUSBAND" SHOWED UP, BUT EVEN HICKS AND SHERIFF LEE? WTF DID THEY HAVE A "WORST MEN EVER" REUNION AND DECIDED TO GANG UP? LIKE WTF

You honestly made me hate Cross only with the first two words he said. I hate that man with my guts and I totally understand why R ran away from that place. He's not only egoistical, but so sure of himself he doesn't see the consequences of his actions and how cruel he is. Same with Hicks. I'm genuinely physically repulsed by them because anytime I read a line that refers to them I make a disgusted face

THEY'RE HORRIBLE I HOPE THEY HAVE A GRUESOME DEATH

YESS THE BITCH DIED YAYYY (Kinda sad R didn't get to kill her but happy anyway because now she has croaked🥰)

Also I'm so worried for Hobie and Clover too because if they really burned the house to the ground they killed Clover too because she was in there😭😭 MY POOR BABY LET HER LIVE

it's all fun and games until they kill the dog. That's where I draw the line tbh.

NONONONO DON'T TELL ME THAT SON OF A BITCH KILLED HOBIE KATY YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I CAN'T HANDLE ANY SAD ENDINGS AFTER TF

ALSO THE PARALLELS BETWEEN THE DAY FIVE YEARS BEFORE WHEN HOBIE WAS BURIED UNDER THE OAK TREE AND IT WAS RAINING IN THAT OCCASION TOO? SO COOL HOW IT PARALLELS TO WHAT WAS HAPPENING NOW IN THE SOUTH

Also they're so cruel like, they burned R and Hobie's house to the ground, the very house they were finally living a happy life in, and then decided to try and bury Hobie RIGHT BEHIND IT? THAT'S HORRENDOUS.

THANK GOD HE'S ALIVE AND HICKS HAS A SHIT AIM OH MY GOODNESS I HAD A MINI HEART ATTACK FOR A SECOND

CLOVER MY BABYYY SHE'S ALIVE AND WELL AND HELPING HOBIE

AND FINALLY WE HAVE RIRI AND THAT OLD MEXICAN MAN TO HELP. God this chapter was a whirlwind of emotions, but I loved it so much just like all the other ones. Honestly I'm a bit sad the next chapter's gonna be the last but OPIN has been such a great fic until now and I can't wait to see what you got in store for the finale. As always you did an amazing job I LOVED IT I LOVED IT I LOVED IT THANK YOU KATY❤️❤️LYSM

By Hook or By Crook

Pairing: Cowboy! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 11.2 k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing), CW guns, CW food mention, CW suggestive, CW blood, TW violence, TW death, TW abuse mention, Wild west AU, Cowboy AU.

Our Place in the Middle of Nowhere Masterlist

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CHAPTER 9 >>> CHAPTER 10

Hobie's nightmares are few and far between now that you sleep beside him. But on the rare occasion that it haunts him, it's always horrific. His own mind betrays him, the fog of a nightmarish scene unfolds like theatre curtains; where you're the star, a bleeding, screaming star of the night. It always starts off with you in place of him. Hicks has you in his iron grip, while his men, men that you've known since you were a little girl taunt you with the same disgusting words they threw at him.

He can never forget how your face contorted into a horrified expression when you see Hicks brandishing the knife in front of you. All the while, Hobie stands there, motionless, in place of the same oak tree bearing your name. As if your fate is predestined, your own tombstone carved above the shallow grave they're about to throw you in. It happens just like how he remembered it. Hicks, your own uncle, slices your throat with a cackle; while rain pelts down upon you, drenching your lace dress, mixing in with your blood gushing out of your neck in waves. Thunder and lightning cracks above, and you're thrown into the pit where they bury you alive.

You try to claw your way out, nails digging into the dirt, staining your once soft hands. Gasping for air, Hobie is unable to look away— how could he when he stays rooted on the spot of your tree?

As the storm pours down, your lungs filled with dirt and rain water, he watches as you slowly lose the light behind your eyes; falling limp, chest completely frozen as you stare up at the night sky. Hobie tries to scream, desperately uprooting himself off the soil, but it's not enough. You lay there unblinking, dead before they could cover your whole body with the same earthly soil you once stood upon with him. The last thing you saw was the leaves dancing in the wind, the last thing you saw was him, unable to save you one last time.

You hold him in bed until the trembling stops, you'll hold him forever if need be. Hobie's embracing your middle, face tucked just above your ribs, hiding his red puffy eyes from you while you knead at his nape. Your other hand cradles his elbow, fingers drawing patterns on his skin to calm him down. With every sniffle, you squeeze him tighter against you, and love filled words spilling out of your mouth to comfort him further.

You've told him a hundred times before that it was just a nightmare concocted by his mind that was caused by the trauma he has experienced. But you know that he understands that it isn't real, but you'll tell him a thousand times more to ease his worries because he once told you that it helps. You'll do anything to support him, and maybe one day his nightmares will finally fade away. Until then, you'll hold him and keep him grounded to the present.

His silent sobs have subsided, hand splayed over your stomach to feel your warmth. Dawn is peeking through the light blue curtains you've put up in the shared bedroom. You're surrounded in hues of brilliant blue, as if the sky itself presents itself inside your small bedroom.

The room is sparsely decorated, save for a large wardrobe at the other end of the room. You were too occupied to decorate the house. If you had enough time in between tending to the garden and the house, you'd decorate your home with things you and Hobie love— place photographs of you two, trinkets that remind you of the good days back home; and fill it with shared memories. You promise once everything is settled, you'd put your time and effort in making the place more homely. For now, you'll settle for filling the abode with warmth and your love for eachother.

The almost sheer fabric of the curtains does nothing to shield you from the light, but with the soft blue hue coming from the heavens above, and the cool breeze passing by, blowing the curtains around the sparsely decorated room— it helps him calm down. Hobie feels like he's floating above a cloud with you hugging him, lips pecking gently against the crown of his head with so much love he feels it in his chest. Blossoming, spreading around his limbs, tending to him and comforting him slowly.

You flick your eyes over to him, inadvertently meeting with his own that has been searching for the light behind your eyes. “I think we need ducks.”

Hobie cracks a smile, green eyes lingering on your soft grin. “Why ducks?” His voice is still hoarse so he clears his throat as you continue to massage at his nape. Making sure that he doesn't get a crick in his neck from how he's looking up at you with tender eyes.

“They hunt pests, it'll help the farm.”

“Where'd you learn that?” He humours you, hand cupping your side; such affection could only come from him.

You chuckle while your fingers play with his baby hairs clinging to his nape. “From my books.”

Hobie cuddles closer, nose nudging your stomach. “Buck and Cherry won't like ‘em. Clover might even eat ‘em.”

You snort, tamping down another laugh as if your laughter will disturb the peace when it's the opposite for him. “If we desensitize the horses they'll like them. And I'm sure Clover won't eat the ducks.” Hobie pulls himself up, tear stained cheeks illuminated by the dwindling oil lamp; chin placed on your chest. “We can build a coop for them, then have duck eggs every morning.”

“Have you tried duck eggs before, lovie?” His knuckles brush along your jaw, emerald eyes swimming with emotion. Sometimes you wish you could hear his thoughts so you could do a better job at comforting him. Like he does to you, he's better at that than you.

“I don't think so. Do they taste bad?”

“Nah,” his voice is soft, as if he's whispering secrets only to you. “It tastes the same as regular chicken eggs.”

You reach for his nose, squeezing it once before letting go. “I'll take your word for it, farmer Hobie.”

He chuckles, cheek pressed gently on top of your chest, straining his ear to hear your heartbeat. “‘Farmer Hobie,’ I never thought I'd hear that.”

“Don't like it?” With your thumb, you wipe the remaining tears clinging on his eyelashes. “How about ‘rancher Hobie?’”

“It sounds better than outlaw Hobie. Whatever you want to call me, love.” He pulls himself up more, face tucked in the crook of your neck. You cradle his head, nails scratching lightly at his scalp. “I'll be there.”

“Good, you know I don't like waiting.” You joke, eyes slowly closing while you fight a yawn. “We can go back to sleep, Hobs. It's still early.” You feel his presence above you, eyes cracking open, you see him frown. “You okay?”

“'m sorry that we lost all that time together.” He sniffs, inhaling sharply. Eyes finding your own.

You smile, helping him ease up. “It doesn't matter. We have forever now.” Hands cradling his face, you peck his lips then his eyelids as he closes his eyes. It's a simple act, a small one but it wraps his heart in silk and warmth. He feels like that lovelorn boy he left behind a long time ago.

“I need to show you somethin'” He whispers against your lips.

You quirk a brow, lips pursed into a gentle smile. “Okay, show me.” Hobie kisses your cheek before leaning away. The mattress squeaks as he leaves your side, you already feel empty and cold.

You watch as he crouches down on the foot of the bed. There's a scraping noise when he pulls something from underneath. Propping your elbows up, you crane your neck to see what he's doing. Wood scraping against wood, you see him lugging it towards the side of the bed. It's a large wooden trunk that's carved with simple patterns. There's nothing out of the ordinary about it, nothing but metal inlays and a lock where a key would go. Your heart thumps loudly, filled with trepidation as Hobie takes an old rusted key hidden under the bedside table. Crawling towards the edge of the bed, you peek as he opens it.

“Please don't tell me that's where you're hiding your millions.” You joke just as when the smell of old paper akin to weathered books hits your nose. “Oh,” you almost cried at the sight of hundreds of letters piled inside. They all bear his name and yours where the recipient would be. Your letters dwarf next to his own, yours are wrapped in a red ribbon that's placed next to his own pile. “Hobie—”

“I kept it all, I used to write everyday, but I got busy. I never forgot, Y/N. I never forgot you.” You choke back a sob whilst he roams his eyes around the contents of the trunk. His hands reached inside to grab a leather bound book. He finally looks at you, staring at your tear filled eyes. “D’you remember this?” Holding up the book, you smile at the worn out title. You remember the gold painted on it, now it has been worn down from years of it being read.

Heart stuck in your throat, you could only beckon him over back to your side. “Come here please.” You sniff, and he complies. Reaching for your hand as you help him up on the bed. Hobie places himself in-between your legs, back laying on your chest as his hands flip towards the front page of the book. “‘Candide,’ how could I forget?” You wrap your arms around him while your legs are crossed around his waist. You're his personal pillow, you've accepted the role earnestly. “I never asked how you liked it.”

“Your confession trumped how much I liked the book.” Hobie takes your hand to peck the back of it, eyes reading the three words you wrote years ago. “‘I love you,’” he reads the brief inscription you wrote on the front page. It's short, but you'd write it on every wall you encounter, on every surface; carve it on mountains and even the sky itself if you could. “I thought it was as absurd as the book itself.”

You chuckle against the crown of his head, “I remember the way you ran towards me after you saw it.” His lips felt like morning dew against your own that day. It was heaven sent for him and for you.

“This is the only thing I could grab before I had to leave. It was just this, all my savings and the clothes on my back.”

“I'm sorry,” you hide behind his shoulder, sobs wracking your body as he holds onto you tightly. You should've been there, fought harder to be by his side. All you could do now is lament on your grief and longing for time lost.

“Never mind that, it's over now.” Hobie pats your cheek, “the trunk is yours, love. If you want it.”

You peek over his shoulder, blinking at the large amount of letters that would surely have you sobbing even more. “You'd let me read it all?”

“They're all addressed to you. ‘sides, I read all of yours. It's only fair that you read mine.”

You wipe a fallen tear, sniffing while a moment passes in comfortable silence. He senses your feelings, twisting around, he cups your cheek before laying his forehead on your own. “I never blamed you for everythin’ that happened.”

A weight is lifted off your chest, a weight that you never realized was there since you've gotten used to the burden. “I–I never truly hated you for leaving.” Eyes closed, you rub his shoulders, comforting him and yourself at the same time. “I wrote it a hundred times in my letters.”

“I know, I read all of them. Now it's your turn to read all my…” He inhales sharply, letting your scent ground him to the present. “...complicated thoughts.”

“Complicated thoughts comes with loving someone.” Pulling away, you kiss him gently. Hobie has placed his whole heart in your hands, and you intend to keep it safe and tucked right beside your own. Or perhaps you've given him yours years ago.

—

After spending hours in bed, letters in hand and Hobie sleeping soundly next to you; you've only read half of the letters he wrote for you. Some made you quietly weep as he wrote about his struggles in the new world without you by his side. Some have made you laugh with his almost incoherent scribbles, notes that he has written while deep in amber liquid and under the fog of longing. It was almost noon when you two finally decided to leave the comfort of the bed to eat and go about your day to day chores.

Hobie decided to make breakfast for the two of you, or brunch is the better way to put it. After feeding Clover and both horses, you come home to a neatly set table. Bowls of fruit, bread and butter with oatmeal on the side sit prettily inside the new porcelains you bought from town. The table is complete with a red checkered table cloth, and plush roses inside a vase placed in the middle.

You stop in the doorway, watching him whistle a tune as he straightens the utensils. “I love it when you go the extra mile.”

Hobie perks his head up, sun shining on the delight etched on his face. “Can’t help it, love, you're contagious.” He eyes your blue poncho that he gifted to you a while ago. “I spend all this time with you, it's impossible not to catch your flawless manners.” He's already reaching towards you as you close the distance.

You place yourself in his arms, palms flat on his chest. “You make it sound like I gave you an incurable disease.”

Index finger on your jaw, he wipes away sweat from your heated skin. You notice the gun belt around his waist that pokes your hip, you don't mention why he started carrying even in the comfort of your home. You know why he does.

“I don't mind dyin’ from it.” He starts to peck your forehead and then he moves down to your parted lips, but you lean away teasingly before he reaches your waiting lips. With a furrowed brow, he tilts his head questioningly.

“Easy there, cowboy. We just got out of bed.” You reluctantly pull away even though you wanted the kiss as much as he did. Patting his bicep, you walk towards the kitchen to wash your hands.

“What do you mean? It's just a quick snog, love.” He leans on the table with one arm, the other nonchalantly inside his jean pocket. He clearly knows what he's doing to you. Sun rays part around him, bathing him in godly light.

You laugh, looking away before you pounce on him, hands in the water basin as you scrub the grime off your hands. “You said that last time and we didn't get anything done the whole day.”

Shrugging, he pulls the chair away from the table for you. Wood scraping on hardwood, smirk thrown your way. “It was one time. ‘sides, we finished all our chores before the sun went down.”

Drying your hand, you walk back to him. You poke his chest with a chuckle, he feigns hurt, making you laugh even more. “Bucky and Cherry were ignoring us after because their food was late.” Sitting down, you roll your eyes, “and it wasn't just that one time, Hobs.”

Hobie slides the chair back in, quickly kissing the crown of your head before sitting next to you, not at the head of the table like you thought he would the first time you two shared a meal together. You love all the subtle ways he shows you his love without saying the three words.

He gestures between you and him, “combined effort, love.”

You flick his ear, heat settling on your cheeks. “I know, I was there.” mumbling, you grab the pitcher of orange juice to pour one in his glass then over to yours whilst he spreads butter on your bread.

“You love flickin’ my bloody ear.” His arm is comfortably placed over the back of your chair, fingers brushing along the top of your head. “How would you feel if I started flicking your ear, hm?”

Covering your ear, you dramatically gasp. “It's still healing, how dare you?” Despite your words, your smile betrays you.

Hobie chuckles, “you can barely see the scar now, love.”

“It still hurts, sometimes.”

“Wait, really?” The sarcasm goes over his head until you give him a look that says ‘I’m clearly joking.’ He sighs, relief in his viridescent eyes. “You had me, I was about to bring you to the doctor.” The last word doesn't send you spiraling anymore after what happened last time with a certain doctor.

Scooping up a spoonful of oatmeal with blackberries, you bring it to Hobie's mouth. “You're a worrywart, Hobs. And I love you for it, now eat. We have so much to do today.”

Smiling, he clamps his mouth shut. “Yeah, but what if we just stay in bed instead—” he gets cut off by oatmeal gently shoved in his mouth. Laughing, he almost chokes from amusement.

He loves this, the domesticity, the shared affection and everything in between. He now sees the beauty in the mundane, the peace in uneventful days. After what seemed like decades of longing and bone aching grief, he feels like he's finally living again

After eating, you pick up plates even though Hobie told you a dozen times that he'll clean up. Once you shut him up with a quick kiss, he immediately relents and continues to drink his coffee.

You come around his seat, taking his finished plate. Before you could leave, he dips his head down backwards to look up at you. “Don't wash them yet, let me help you, yeah?”

With one hand cupping his chin, stubble prickling your palm, you squeeze tenderly. “You made breakfast, so that means I get to clean.” He starts to shake his head, but your hand stops him, making him scrunch his nose. “Combined effort, right?”

As you brush your hand along his scruff, you can see that he's surrendering. “Fine, at least let me dry it.” Beaming down at him, you can't seem to move away from him, hand still running along his jaw. “Do I need to shave?”

“No, it's growing on me actually.”

“Funny, it's growing on me too.”

“Haha.” You walk away with the plates as he hides his laugh behind his mug.

Finishing his drink, as the warmth settles in his stomach, he saunters over to you with the remaining dishes. “D’you think a beard would suit me?” Appearing next to you, he grabs a clean towel, drying the clean plates just like he promised.

“Maybe if we shave your head it might suit you.” Teasing and giggling Hobie splashes water on your cheek. “Completely joking, my love. I like whatever you decide to do. Even if it's a mustache.”

“And they say ‘m the bloody menace.” He pretends to glare at you, but you flash him with a flutter of your eyelashes, melting his façade on the spot. You shake your head with a grin, a comfortable silence settles, save for the sound of water sloshing around the basin and birds chirping outside.

Your matching rings gleam in the sun with the kitchen window in front of you that's facing the backyard. You've gotten used to this life, yet you still can't believe you're living it. It's hard to think that you were running away and starving just barely six months ago. Now you're living the life you always hoped you would be in.

You've forgotten what you were worrying about in the first place.

“What are your plans today, love?” He dries his hands before he takes yours to dry with a clean towel. Gently wiping, he waits for your answer while you think.

“Pick some tomatoes for Riri, you remember how she loved the last batch?” You love it when he dotes on you.

“Yeah, she was raving ‘bout it.”

You hum, “then maybe try again with your surprise.”

Hobie pauses from drying your hands. “You're still not goin’ to tell me what it is?”

Shaking your head, you stare at him with a cheeky smile, and eyes sparkling. “Nope,” he doesn't know that you're trying to breed a new variant of roses that would bloom in the same shade as his eyes. It's a lot harder than you thought it would be, but you persevere especially after one of the saloon's band members lent you a book all about it. “I think I'm close to getting it.”

“As long as it's not going to blow up in my face.” His hands clasps your own, tilting his head with a raised brow.

“For the last time, I didn't know that combining those two cleaning agents would make the bucket explode.” You both chortle at the memory. “But I think it's about to rain though. So I might just help you fix the floors in the spare bedrooms.”

Hobie glances at the window, seeing a clear blue sky without any hints of grey clouds nor rain. “Let me guess, knee hurtin’ again?”

You nod, “exactly. Wanna bet like last time since you still don't trust my knee rule?”

“It’s not an exact science.”

“And yet I've been right ninety percent of the time.”

“Ninety?” He slyly wraps you in his arms, you let him wholeheartedly. “Try seventy.”

“You either bet or you don't, Hobie.”

Nudging your nose lovingly, he peppers your face with featherlight kisses. You softly smile, clay in his arms, eyes closed as he dusts your skin with kisses. “Fine,” kiss “I'll bite.” He smooches each corner of your eyes. “How much?”

“I think you're already paying in advance.” You don't blame him when you two didn't finish any chores for today. It is a combined effort as you let him in your saccharine embrace.

—

Hobie waits for you by the porch with a cigarette in between his lips, smoke wafting in the air. The sun is slowly setting, orange and pinks dancing along Clover's face as she paws on his leg. Her eyes are big and glinting in the afternoon hues. A breeze carries the smoke away into oblivion just as when Cherry and Buckeye make their way inside the barn like clockwork.

“Your treat is comin’, stop whinin’.” He pats her head briefly. If dogs could frown, Clover would be giving him the deepest lour. ��You've become spoiled, girl.” His fingers scratch behind her ear, tail wagging from side to side, yet she still whines for her afternoon treat.

The front door opens with a creak, Hobie sighs from the sound, thinking that he has finally fixed the stubborn hinges. But alas, it still declares every time it opens. His furrowed brows are replaced by a gentle smile the second he sees you saunter out with two mugs of tea in both hands. Still gorgeous in your poncho that seems to camouflage you with the house paint.

He quickly snuffs the cigarette, and flicks it away from you. Waving away the remaining smoke, he holds his hands towards you, one to hold one of the mugs, the other to hold onto your waist.

“There you are.” He beams at you, palms meeting with the drink’s warmth and your affection. “Run into some trouble?”

You grin at him and his habitual sweetness. “Here I am.” Pecking his cheek, you place yourself on the porch railing, eyes never leaving his own. Hand brushing along Clover's head, petting her. “You didn't even wait that long.”

“Seemed like forever to me, love.” Hobie clinks his mug against your own, earning a soft chuckle from you. Taking a sip, he makes a face, scrunching up his nose with a groan.

“What's wrong? Shit, did I mistake salt for sugar again?” You take his mug, tasting it for yourself. His tea barely tastes like anything, if anything else, it tastes bitter and akin to dirt. You clearly forgot to add sugar and milk just like how he likes it with this tea variant. You don't blame him for disliking it, the shop in town ran out of the good tea so you both had to settle with whatever is floating in the mug. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I'll remake it.”

“Oi, oi.” Before you could leave his side, Hobie reaches for your hip, arm snaking around it to pull you back to him. “I can handle it, stay with me, yeah?”

You feign a huff, placing your own mug on the railing, bringing your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly closer to you. Hip to hip, you beam at him whilst his hands rests upon your hips. You two look like you're about to dance. “I appreciate the sentiment, Hobs, but I can't let you drink bland tea.” You're sure that you forgot to put honey in your own.

He shrugs while Clover watches from the side, puppy dog eyes waiting for her treat. “I've got all the sugar and sweetness right ‘ere.” Leaning down, he places his forehead against your own. He then pecks the tip of your nose, all the while never leaving the comfort of staring into your eyes.

“I knew you'd say that.” You giggle, hands balling around his shirt. His eyes shine brightly, emeralds mixing in with the soft orange.

“You psychic now?” He raises a playful brow.

“Nope, I just know you, Hobie Brown.” You slide your hands away from his shirt to his chin, scruff scratching you a bit. “And I know you hate this tea without milk and sugar.”

“I can live without it for one drink.”

“And what? You can't live without me for even a moment?” You tease, and you now notice Clover's waiting but polite stare.

Hobie smiles, tilting away to then bend back in to kiss your lips gently. His hand holds your chin in place while you smile into the kiss, eyes closed but you still see the soft afternoon glow behind your closed eyelids. With one last peck, lips brushing along your own, he gives you his answer without saying a word.

You open your eyes with a breathy sigh, warmth filling your entire chest. “Do that again when I come back.”

“Love.” He sounds like he's pleading.

“I'll make your tea better this time.” You pat his cheek. “Besides, I forgot Clover's beef jerky.” With the utterance of her name, Clover stands up, wagging her tail with her tongue lolling out on the side of her maw. You're already moving away backwards, but his hand still holds onto your arm. You take both drinks, careful not to spill and waste any. As you go, his palm slides down, still trying to make you stay. “Five minutes, Hobs. Give me five and I'll be back.” You giggle when he stomps his foot like a petulant child.

“I'll be waitin', countin’ down the seconds.” he exhales dramatically, making sure that his longing is clearly shown. You laugh as Clover follows you inside. “It's my beef jerky by the way!” He yells, earning a muffled guffaw from you.

Smiling, Hobie returns to rest on the railing, elbow propped up, leaning and relaxing on the bannister. He refrains from lighting another stick of cigarette so he could keep his promise to you of quitting smoking. Fiddling with a loose thread on his sleeve, his ears perk up from the sound of hooves thumping on the ground. Hobie's heart immediately skips a beat from the sound. His hand stays on his gun as he leaves the porch to see where the horses are coming from. He's not expecting any visitors, and from how loud the sound is, there seems to be a dozen of them coming his way.

Everything screams at him to take you and run.

His worry quickly rushes to you, as he twists and turns to spot where they're all coming from, he finally sees them coming down from hills. A dozen or so of them unmistakably gallop towards the farm. They're fast, leaving everything in the dust behind them.

There's no time to run away. And there's too many of them to fight off.

“Y/N!” He yells. “Stay inside!” There's no sound coming from the house, not even your footsteps as the strangers come closer and closer within a second until they all appear from behind the farmhouse with a couple of horses missing from the line. He takes notice of them, afraid of what will happen.

Dust flies around the farm, the clover covered ground gets trampled by hooves. They stop a mere inches away from your precious plants, surrounding him. Horses huff and neigh just as when dust settles, showing Hobie all their riders faces. He doesn't recognize any of them, and none of them stands out from the crowd. Except for the one leading the party, he's clad in a white suit with a pitch black tie. Eyes as green as the grass he's standing on, hair slicked back, revealed when he took off his matching hat.

Hobie stands before them, hand on his gun, posture ready to quick draw. “You’re trespassin’”

“Sorry about that,” the man in the white suit answers for the rest of them. “We're just here to ask for directions.”

“Ask, then leave.”

He clears his throat, “You see, we're looking for a place in Scarlett Meadows. But we're all turned around.” Chuckling, he leans on his horse, the poor horse clearly looks uncomfortable from the awkward weight on its neck.

“You're in Scarlett Meadows, mate.” Hobie says the last part sarcastically.

Clapping, the strange man looks around his party before returning his attention to Hobie. “That's good! Now can you point us towards the direction of Emerald Ranch?”

Hobie's stomach plummets, “You passed it.”

“That so?” The stranger looks around the farm. “Funny, this place looks like Emerald Ranch.”

“This is a farm, not a ranch.” Hobie's eyes narrow at the man before flicking towards the front door of the house to then return at the man whose eyes stare him down without a single fear behind them. “Have you tried asking ‘round town?”

“We would, but we heard they're not too friendly.”

“I wonder why?”

The white suit man chuckles lowly, “I'm just looking for someone, mate.”

“You're like a bloody cigarette, you're draggin’ this out, mate.” Hobie unlocks the strap securing his gun, ready to shoot.

The stranger chuckles, cracking a humourless smile before his expression turns flat. “Where's my fucking wife, Mr. Brown?”

Hobie falters, hand twitching around his gun. “Wife?”

The front door slams open, and you come out with a shotgun aimed at the stranger's head. “Ah there she is—!” A shot rings out, Hobie dodges from your range, and the man has the same idea. He falls from his now dead horse, using its body for cover.

“Cross!” You scream with anger, fear laced into your tone like venom. “You motherfucker!” Pumping the shotgun, you glance at Hobie. “Run!”

“I forgot I taught you how to shoot!” Cross laughs even with bullets raining down on him and his entourage.

Hobie sees everything in slow motion, one by one, as the assailants run towards you, they get shot down immediately. Blood splattered all over the clovers and plants you love so much. The horses neigh wildly from the barn, and Clover barks desperately from inside the house. Shotgun shells fall on the porch he mended, with gunpowder replacing the honey scented home. Hobie quick draws his gun, emptying half of his chamber at the men you missed. You're in the clear as his Entourage now lies beneath your feet. Hobie aims at Cross where he has a clear shot at while the man continues to hide behind the corpse. But before he could shoot, he hears your gun run out of bullets from how the trigger clicks empty. And then a harsh crack follows as you fall loudly on the wooden deck, head bloodied, breath trembling and struggling as the man Hobie hoped never to see again stands over you with his rifle digging into your temple.

Hicks, a stout man with a pencil thin mustache, clad in gold and your supposed uncle; the one who started it all, cackles above your bleeding form. “Long time no see, Hobie! Back from the dead, eh?” He waves at him, grinning widely. “Drop your fucking gun or I'll end her right here.”

Hobie's entire body trembles just like five years ago, mind reeling from the sight of Hicks' face. Never wasting a second, Hobie drops his gun just as he feels a pistol whip him from behind the second he's unarmed. He falls on the ground not from the strike on his head but from the angry kick on the back of his knees. He gets a mouthful of grass, dirt sticking to his cheeks.

Gun punted away from him, his vision swirls, hand reaching towards you. “No,” he whispers as he hears your sobs. There's a sudden pressure around his wrists, rope tying his hands on his back. “You fucker.”

Hobie picks up the unmistakable sound of a body getting dragged across the ground. Hands and feet hogtied, he struggles to fight back. He stops his struggle when you're placed in front of him in the same position. Your hands and feet are also bound, crimson trickling down from your temple to your eyes; blood sticking to your lashes. Trying desperately to wiggle next to you, he gets a harsh kick at his side. He bites his lip to prevent a pained groan from escaping.

Your eyes try to focus on him, pulse rapidly decreasing, you're in danger of falling unconscious. “...Hobs?” You call to him despite only seeing his outline in front of you.

“‘m here, love.” He wheezes. “Stay awake for me, yeah?”

You struggle to see, black dots dancing around your vision and blood rushing in your ears. Voices come and go, victorious laughter echoing and fading. “I–I should've told you. I'm s–sorry.” Crying, you feel a heavy cheek pressed on your own.

Your sobs would haunt Hobie in his grave. A haze of despair falling over him like fog atop a mountain.

“It's okay—”

“Yeah, you should've told him. Or maybe you shouldn't have left in the first place, hm, honey?” Cross has his hands around your binds, flesh against your cheek. “You left me for him?” He yanks you up, your bones crack and creak as his hand slither up to your bare throat. “I told you, you can never leave.” You choke as he squeezes.

Hobie tries to fight back even with the ropes around his legs and wrists. “Let her fucking go!” A heel stomps on the small of his back as Hicks laughs above him. A raging pain flares, but he refuses to let you fall in the clutches of a man that you clearly never wanted to be next to you.

Guilt wraps Hobie in its familiar embrace. He should've done more, added barbed wires around picket fences, hid guns under the porch, grabbed you the moment he heard the horses— he should've been better at protecting you.

“P–please,” you mumble out despite the hand gripping around your neck. “Let him go, y-you have me. You won.” Gasping, you stare at Hobie with your bloodshot eyes. He shakes his head, eyes full of unshed tears. Even now he doesn't want them to see the sorrow that they've caused him. “Cross, please.” You beg, a trapped doe in front of him.

Cross lets you go after a moment of you desperately trying to gasp for air. You look into his green eyes that are awfully familiar that fills you with dread. You despise that colour on him and how similar it is with the only man you love.

He reaches for your face as you flinch away but with his hand around your collar, you can't escape. You wait for a hit, but it doesn't come. Instead, he pats your cheek with a gloved hand, rough leather sending shivers down your spine. For a second, he looks like he's considering letting Hobie go. Hope blossoms in your chest together with the panic.

Your husband turns towards Hobie, towering over him, his hand still on you. Hobie meets with the similar green eyes with fury. Silence blankets around the farm as both men stare each other down. Cross is the first one to break.

“Thank you for bringing my wife back to me, Mr. Brown.” Craning his head to look at you, you pray that he gets hit with a stray bullet. “Mr. Hicks,” said man hums in reply. He smiles at you, showing his teeth. “Do whatever you want with Mr. Brown, I'm done here.” Cross pushes you towards one of his men, your back hits a sturdy chest. Something gold and metallic pokes your shoulder.

You look up at the man who bears the familiar gilded star. “Sheriff Lee?” He could only look at you through narrowed eyes, anger swimming behind hazel. “No!” Heart in your stomach, heels digging in, you refuse to go. “Hobie!” Said man wails for you in agony as you get dragged away by Lee's strong grip. You ignore the sheriff's sneer as you return your attention towards the only person who deserves it. “Run! Please!”

Hobie yells your name with wild rage. “No! Fuckin' let me go, you wankers!” He fights back on the ground, teeth biting at anyone who comes near him. But there's too many of them left, they punch and kick at him. Steel toed boots hitting his flesh in a sickening squelch. Once they're satisfied, they drag him behind the house as you both fight back despite the odds. “Remember your promise!” He screams, blood coating his tongue from the beatings. “Wait for me!”

“Leave—!” A sack is placed on your head, lungs struggling to breathe, eyes flicking rapidly from side to side. Your joints are frozen in place as panic takes over your whole body. Even with massive amounts of adrenaline to keep you fighting, you feel powerless, muscles straining, fingers trembling; everything crumbles. It's an assault on your senses, there're hands touching you, trying to tie you down. Breath staggered, eyes blown out, and body trembling. And yet, his screams are the ones that truly stay with you. Him screaming your name, crying out to you whilst you try to reach him.

“Burn the bloody place to the ground!” Hicks yells as you're placed on the back of a horse. “Dig a deeper hole! I'm here to finish what I started.” You call for him desperately, throat aching, body twisting and turning on the horse as you try to fall off it.

The stench of iron is replaced with fiery embers curling around your nose behind the fiber hood. You see blurred red and orange spreading through your home in a blaze of wildfire.

The last thing you hear is his screams as you fall unconscious from another hard punch to your skull.

—

Stirring awake, head pounding mercilessly against your temple, you groggily sit up despite the throbbing pain and dazed state. Hands still tied by rough rope behind you, the skin around your wrist is angry and starting to blister. Back hitting hard oak, your eyes meet with red stained glass windows that shine underneath flashes of lightning. You sit hunched on a pew as rain batters the windows with wind howling outside while you roam your eyes around the chapel— Smooth stone walls carved all around with granite floors glinting from the candle light. Arched ceilings that seem to be taller every time you blink, and incense filtering around the air, making your nose twitch.

“Good, you're awake.” Cross’ echoing voice rumbles deeply from the altar. Shoulders straight as a ruler, white suit drenched and dirtied from his recent fall from his horse.

“Wish I wasn't.” You groan, noticing how your feet are also tied together. Glancing around the altar, you scoff bitterly. “Really? Is nothing sacred to you, Cross?” He stalks over to you, fists clenched on his side. Fear is slowly creeping up to you. Yet, you don't balk, nor flinch when he gets closer to you. “What? Are you thinking about renewing our vows?”

“What did he do to you? Hm? What did he say to get you out here in the middle of bumfuck nowhere?” His wedding ring shines, making you glare at the piece of jewelry.

“Why? I chose to be with him, simple as that. I moved forward because you weren't there to shackle me anymore.” You lean closer despite the bindings and your instincts telling you not to fight or else. You know what he's capable of, his hands still bear the shape of your throat and cheek. “Why are you even here? You should've let me go, I gave you a reason to finally be free of me!” You stomp your foot, frustrated and angry. But most of all afraid for Hobie and what has become of him when you were dragged away. “Why didn't you let me go, Cross?”

His eye twitches, the same eyes that are sickenly familiar to Hobie's. “You're my wife, of course I'd follow you.”

You scoff bitterly, “your wife? I'm only your wife on paper.” Wrists twisting, you try to free yourself just like how Hobie taught you in case something like this would happen. And happen it did. “If you forgot, my aunt chose you, and Hicks made me walk down that fucking aisle with a knife to my throat. You are not my husband. Not to me.”

Cross blinks as if he's lingering around your words. Your heart beats louder than the storm outside, afraid of what the man before you would do. Your instincts are right as he suddenly raises his hand to land a harsh slap, you flinch away on instinct, heart beating loudly from the fear. But the pain doesn't blossom on your cheek like it used to, instead, he lunges for your throat, fingers digging in your pulse as you choke.

“Make s-sure you hit me right between my eyes until I see stars, husband.” You mock him despite your crippling fear.

“Don't.” He seethes, you don't stand down, this pain is nothing new to you.

When he doesn't get the response he wanted, his hold loosens, green eyes roaming and searching for the familiar fear in your eyes. A second later, he slowly lets you go and slides his hand up to cup your chin. He smells of nickel and rotten wood.

You tilt your head back so you can leave his hold but he grips tighter. Hair standing on end, his touch is a shivering familiarity on your skin.

“W-why do you hold on tight to me? You don't love me, you never wanted me to begin with.”

He rubs your cheekbone with his thumb. “A year of marriage with you— Anyone would hold onto you with a grip.”

“You should've gotten a dog instead of a wife then.” You laugh throatily, feeling his hand clasp tighter. “Now what has become of you, Cross?” His jaw clenches. “What happened to slapping me as your greeting? All the hair pulling, and dragging me across the floor to show your so-called love for me? Fetch my aunt, she knows how to properly greet me as always.”

His eyes sparkled with brief amusement. “You didn't hear?” He pauses, thumb brushing along your bottom lip, hunger in those green eyes. “Your great aunt's dead.” You swallow thickly, letting his words sink in. Your mind can't make out how to feel about it. “Died of a broken heart, that's what the doctor said.”

“A–a broken heart?” You shove his hand away from your face. “I didn't know she even had a heart in the first place.”

You can see the confusion spreading across his face, not used to your new found fiery attitude. “What has become of you? She died because you ran away.” Cross uses grief and guilt as his weapon, and he knows what he's doing.

“I'm not the same girl you married, Cross.” You tilt your head on the back of the pew, staring him down through your bloodied lashes. “And you and I both know that's bullshit. She smoked like a goddamn chimney, worse that she had numerous enemies. Not the kind of combination you want if you wish to live long.”

“Watch your fucking tongue, girl.” Hicks’ booming voice ricochets around the chapel as he appears from a door near the altar. “That was my wife you're talking about.”

“Look at that, hello, uncle.” Sarcasm drips from your words. “Why do you like a fucking priest when you're the farthest from being one?” You gesture with your head towards his robe like clothes, he's draped in black cloth from head to toe, mourning clothes.

Unabashedly eyeing him up and down, you start to giggle. “You married her for money, you fool. You're not convincing anyone with that.” Turning towards Cross whose eyes remained on you, you falter for a second before straightening your expression. “You blame me for her death but have you asked him about it? He has everything to gain from her death.” Cross flicks his eyes towards the man before turning to leave with a humourless scoff. “Coward.” You whisper.

A strong grip latches itself in your hair, pulling at your scalp. Hicks' hot breath puffs over your cheek, you yelp in pain, reminding you of all the times she did this exact thing to you. “You and your childish whims killed her. And for what? To be with that boy?”

“Fuck you!”

“Y/N,” Cross stands in the middle of the aisle, nonchalantly taking a coin from his breast pocket to twirl it across his fingers. “He didn't kill her, Hicks isn't the one named in her will. He has nothing to gain.”

Slowly, delight spreads across your chest, wrists almost free. You grin widely. “She left it all to me.” Hicks throws your head down, skull hitting the pew with a sickening crack. Yet, you still laugh even with blood trickling down to your nape. “A-after all the shit you had to do to win her over,” you swallow down the pain. “she still didn't trust you enough to hand the company over to you!” Your guffaw echoes around the chapel. You spot Sheriff Lee standing in the corner, guarding the door, your laughter roars louder at the sight of him.

Hicks scoffs, trying to act that your words hasn't fazed him. “I always admired her, y’know, her and her resilience to punish you even though she loved you so much. With your hands bloodied and knees in grain— pretty eyes wet with salty tears. It was quite a sight. But as much as I admired her, cared for her, I can't replace you. No one can.”

Your eyes brim with tears you refuse to let go. “She could barely look at me.” You whisper the words.

He sighs, “she loved you.”

“There was a time I thought she did. That I deserved all of the pain, that I didn't know any better. But I was just a child who didn't do anything wrong but look up to her.”

Shrugging, Hicks makes a face that fans the flames in you. “Maybe you did deserve it.”

You don't feel the fear anymore, your rage triumphs over it.

“Fuck you!” Your screech could be heard above the thunder. “It got worse because of you! Only because you whispered in her ears and told her everything with your jealous sickly eyes! Married me off to some man who would hurt me more than grains on my knees!” You heave, Hicks raises an unbothered brow. “Wasn't it enough that you took him away from me?” He grins at you, papers in his hand, looking at you as if you're the one in the wrong. “The poison drips down, from her to you and then to my accursed husband.” You turn your red eyes towards Cross, the coin in his hand pauses from your heavy stare.

Maybe you should've gone with your parents on that doomed expedition.

A rustle of papers makes you turn towards the sound. Hicks spreads the crumpled paper on the seat next to you, pointing at the dotted line and placing a fountain pen beside it. “Sign your name and this'll be over.”

You lick your dry lips, the taste of your blood is bitter and acrid on your tongue. Your eyes don't even glance at the words. Wondering how they knew where you went, your mind wanders to the only person back home who knew. “What did you do to Peter?”

“We set him free. Free to roam the gates of heaven that is.”

Nails dig into your palms, leaving crescent scars atop your old one. Fury snaking along your aching body, you crane your neck towards Cross who leans against the altar, flipping a coin as candlelight flicks across his face and red windows reflecting off his skin and eyes. “The people you surround yourself with, Cross, it's astounding. You've got a dirty sheriff, a gold digging motherfucker, and me, who will take every opportunity to kill everyone in this fucking room.” Your want for vengeance spreads across the chapel, voice louder than the thunder raging outside. Cross looks at you like it's the first time he truly ever saw you. Returning your focus on the man who buried the love of your life, you utter behind clenched teeth.

“Just sign the damn papers—”

“When you buried Hobie under that oak tree, you buried me too. And you sliced open my neck just like how you did to him, that's why I'll never sign it.” Hicks tries to grab your head but you headbutt his chin before he could. He collapses on the floor, cradling his bitten and bleeding tongue. Standing above him, pen in hand, wrists now free behind you, you smile at him so it's the last thing he'll ever see. “I'm going to burn the company into the ground, and you'll be left penniless but I'll be fine; thanks to you suggesting this, how did you put it? ‘Auspicious’ marriage.”

Cross notices the sharp, shiny pen in your hands. He yells, coin falling from his hand with a clink, but it's too late as you pounce on Hicks, stabbing his chest with every clink of the coin— three times, you stab him three times as blood gushes out in a spray across your vengeful face. Lee stops you by tackling you on the ground. The blood coated pen clangs on the granite, drenching the floor with crimson. Lee has to put his entire weight on you so you can't escape, Hobie drives you to fight back with the same ferocity he would.

You need to avenge him.

“How does it feel, Hicks?! That's how I felt while you watched!” Your uncle sits up, groaning, blood slipping from his fingers as the outlaws that they hired rush towards him. You know he won't die from his injuries, you'd know— but it's enough, knowing that you caused him pain until you can finally end him with your own hands.

Laughing, arms being tied up from behind, tighter this time, you continue to try and escape from under Lee even with his knee digging on the small of your back. “I will not cleave, never again! Especially to men like you!”

Hicks stands up with some help. He leaves small drops of his blood on the granite, hands plugging the holes you made on his torso. “Now I'm glad I finished the job! I buried him again, and this time he'll stay down there for good!” He tries to rile you up further, it works from the mere mention of Hobie. You fight back, Lee's hold on you wasn't enough so Cross joins him, hands keeping your kicking legs down. “I even burned down your dinky house, there's nothing left there for you!”

“Did you make sure that he stayed buried this time, uncle?!” You yell at him, a sound akin to primal fury. His eyes widen, and you grin bitterly, “You didn't. Don't bother running away because he's already coming after you.” Lee yanks you up, and then places the same hood on your face. “He's coming after you!” You get dragged away towards the small room behind the altar.

Your grief has grown teeth. “If he doesn't then I'll do it for him!”

As Lee ties you to a table, closing and locking the door behind your screaming form; Cross' entourage looks at him with trepidation.

“We'll leave the second the rain is gone.” They all agree immediately.

—

Dread spills over him like a flood, incapable of saving you, watching your unconscious form ride away as Cross carries you on his borrowed horse. Hobie had to gaze upon the agonizing pain of you being taken away.

Outlaws set fire to the house, razing it to the ground as smoke immediately entered his senses. Flames spread in the home you two built together, angry orange hues devouring the same place he promised to live the rest of his life with you. The light blue paint starts to melt, glass windows cracking in the heat. He watches as his home turns to ash.

Men drag his screaming, writhing body towards the back of the house as he hears the awfully familiar sound of soil falling from shovels. His entire body hurts, cuts and bruises marring his flesh, clothes torn, and teeth coated in crimson. Trying to fight back, his nails digging in on the men's wrists yet it doesn't faze them. He sees Buck and Cherry run towards Hobie, neighing angrily with every intention to kick each of his assailants.

Hicks takes his guns out, aiming at both horses before they could reach him. Hobie yells at his horses, pleading with his broken voice. “No! Get away, Buck!”

Hicks shoots, gunshot echoing around the farm, bullet missing Cherry's hoof by an inch. Both horses rears, neighing loudly. “Fuck, I missed.” Hicks looks back at Hobie, who's on his knees. Hicks pulls down the hammer again to shoot. “Good thing I have more than one bullet.”

Hobie sneers, turning towards both terrified horses. “Buckeye! Leave! Get!” Bucky seems to shake his head in protest, but one look from his rider has him understanding what he meant. He runs away in the direction with Cherry in tow, who looks at the place she last saw you in. Hobie's glad he listened, he can't lose them too.

With dust clearing, Hicks returns his focus on Hobie and the outlaws that are digging behind him. “Dig deeper, make sure he doesn't get out like last time.” An idea passes by his eyes. “Or maybe I should just strap your hands and feet to my horse and gallop away while I drag you around in your shitty farm?”

“Fuck you, Hicks!” Hobie kicks dirt at his direction, soil landing on his shoes, completely unbothered. “Where is he taking her?”

Hicks chuckles while he takes out a cigar from a golden case that Hobie recognizes as your aunt's cigar case. He cuts the cigar before lighting it up with the same fire that eats away the farm. “Why bother asking? She's married, boy, taken and all that.” Crouching down, he blows smoke at Hobie's face. Eyes flicking towards the hole behind him. “Besides, you'd be six feet under.”

Thunder roars overhead, followed by a spark of lightning and petrichor. You were right, it's going to rain.

“It was all arranged wasn't it? Was it you?”

“No, it was her aunt. God rest her soul.” Hicks points at the sky as droplets of rain trickles down.

“Good.” Hobie grins, teeth threatening to snap at the man. Hicks clenches his jaw, sneering with a scoff.

The fire continues to burn behind him, and the men carry on with digging Hobie's grave right behind him. “Well, technically, I was the one who suggested it but she's the one who did most of the work.” He huffs and blows smoke, “you should've seen Y/N at her wedding, so gorgeous in white.”

Hobie tightens his jaw, lunging at Hicks but the men holding him down stops him. “No matter how deep that hole you put me in, I'll dig myself out and I'll come and cut your neck this time.”

“Let's see about that, Hobie. Pity, if only you didn't chase her, you'd be fine. Hell, maybe a manager at the factory by now.” He takes a peek behind Hobie, sucking in his teeth when it's not deep enough. “Shame, you had talents. I gotta hand it to you though, you've built yourself quite a reputation over here.”

“Whatever you heard,” Hobie leans closer, but a hand stops him. “It's all true, especially what I did in the east. And once I get my hands on you and that prick you married her to, I'll make sure what happened back then was child's play.” For a brief second, Hicks wavers.

“It's six feet,” someone says behind Hobie, still heaving from the labour.

“About time.” Hicks stands up, instructing the men to lift Hobie up on his feet. He gets yanked up, shoulders throbbing. “I'm supposed to say some nice parting words to the departed,” Hicks takes out his gun, pressing the barrel on Hobie's forehead while he glares with a bitter smile— “But I don't want to waste my breath.”

“Make sure you don't miss.” Hobie leans closer to the metal as Hicks then digs it into his neck as Hobie taunts. Moving a few paces away with his free hand pressed on his ear, he knocks the hammer down and aims it at Hobie's head.

He braces himself.

Hicks shoots, lighting strikes a few ways from the farm, lighting up the bullet heading right at Hobie's head. Blood spills over the soil below. He falls into the grave with a thud. Hicks Looks from above, seeing Hobie limp inside the hole in the ground, right next to the writhing worms. Satisfied, he tells his men to cover it back up just as the rain starts to pour in.

“Meet us at the rendezvous.” Hicks says above the sound of rain and thunder as he makes his way towards his horse, already galloping away while soil drops on Hobie's motionless face.

—

It rains, just like that day five years ago.

Hobie's nails are coated in dirt and grime, face covered by his own shirt to protect him from falling soil. Yet it doesn't save him from slowly suffocating. Soil in his lungs, breath ragged, he remembers the panic in your voice, how you screamed so he could be let go. He's living his past once again, but this time, he's not a frightened boy, he'll rise from the dead over and over again if he has to. With a raging heart that feels like imploding, his thoughts are on you.

Your worst fear is him dying. Even with the threat of a gun to your head, you still chose him.

Did he deserve any of these? To see you cry for him desperately, to hear you call for him with blood spilling from your lips— is he cursed? Is this karma for all the things he has done? That he deserves all of it because he was molded into this, a weapon he never wished to become but had to so he could survive. He doesn't want to linger on the thought, all he knows is that he needs to survive this.

But will he survive long enough to see you again?

Grunting, his temple has stopped bleeding a few minutes ago, skin grazed by the bullet that he dodged covertly. Hicks was never known for his aim even if his target was just a few steps away from him. Or perhaps Hobie is incapable of dying.

With his belt buckle in hand, he digs upwards. While he laid there ‘dead’ he heard about the new factory settled in the south— That after your aunt's death, they changed the main location from London to the heart of the new world's south. He knows where to find Hicks now, and in turn, you too.

He's not going to lie down and bleed.

Hobie hears the pattering of rain just outside the grave, thankful that the idiots Hicks tasked to bury him gave up halfway after they thought him dead. Still, Hobie's having a hard time digging himself out when the soil has clumped together because of the water and became heavier because of it. But he won't give up until he gets to see and hold you again. He still needs to tell you that he forgives you, that he understands why you didn't tell him. That he loves you despite it all.

Yelling in frustration, he still can't feel the breeze from below. Seemingly not making any progress. Arms thrumming from fatigue, he inhales and exhales, remembering why he keeps fighting, why he wants to survive it all.

You. The image of you drives him to dig himself out of his own supposed grave.

Hobie digs and digs, calculating his breathing so he doesn't waste what little air he has. He lists all their names, all the people he has to cut through to get to you. Hicks is a given, he has to end that man to avenge his younger self. Sheriff Lee, whose asshole son he had to shoot or he'll continue to commit unspeakable crimes that his own father lets him do without a single reprimand. And Cross, your husband, a marriage you never wanted, your shackle that continues to drag you down.

“Fuckers,” he whispers, renewed energy making him dig faster and faster.

There's a metallic twinkle from outside, for a moment, he thought that he suffocated and is now being taken by death. His worries subsides when he hears frantic barking outside, paws digging and whining sadly.

“Clover.” Hobie is in disbelief, lucky that Clover returned. “Good girl, Clover! Keep diggin’!” He helps, tunneling together in tandem until he sees her snout sniff at the ground. “Atta girl!” Petting briefly, Clover digs as Hobie gets his hand out from the depths of the soil.

Lighting pierces the night, he rises from his grave once more.

Death can't stop him from getting back to you. This time, he won't leave you to be eaten by the coyotes.

Dragging himself out, Clover helps him by biting at the hem of his jeans, pulling him up by her teeth. Rain pelts against his skin, mud sticking to his flesh, and blades of grass clinging to him. Shakily standing up, he screams the moment he's fully out of the grave.

Hobie brushes his hand along Clover's head, scratching just behind her ear. She scampers off, running towards somewhere, maybe a dry place where she can rest after a job well done.

He lets Clover run away, taking out his cigarette and lighter, he drags the stick across his dry lips before placing it in between. Lighting it, he inhales deeply, the glow from it illuminates the fury on his face. Promising himself that he'll save you, that he won't abandon you this time. And If you're still willing, rebuild the house in each of your visions like it was supposed to be.

Staring at the farm house, its burnt, but remnants of it remains thanks to the unexpected rain. The structure still stands tall, darkened wood falling apart, ash mixing in with the rain, turning the floorboards into a muddy sludge. He can't think about all the letters that you didn't finish reading, all those words forgotten in the wind, nothing but ash flying away with the breeze.

Even the garden you worked so hard for is burnt to nothingness, not even a single leaf has survived. All the flowers and produce you've painstakingly kept alive are now cinders.

The familiar calmness that comes after a brush with death sits in his chest. A wave of pain seizes him to a pause, gripping the chest, his mind imagines the worst. That they've hurt you, that you're sailing halfway across the world by now; that they've killed you and dropped you into a shallow grave to let the rain inevitably wash you away. He shuts the thought out, tears pricking at his eyes. Uttering your name softly, he exhales. You're his peace.

Still standing in what remains of the farm, Hobie hears hooves rushing behind him, and a familiar bark running next to the pair of horses, whose shadow looms over him when lightning strikes and lights up the barren land.

“I'll get her back, I promise.”

—

The saloon is in full swing, patrons dance around the band, people rambunctiously play poker upstairs while Riri is arguing with Miguel after she told him that she's leaving to go and check the farm.

“I'm telling you, Miguel, something doesn't feel right. Morgan told me he saw fire blazing over there!” She unlaces her apron, tossing the empty whiskey bottle right next to other empty ones.

“Their place is far away, how could Morgan even see that?” Miguel chomps down on a slice of cake, rain continues to pour down as Riri takes her coat and hat from the closet beside the bar. “Where are you going, Ri? It's pouring outside!”

“To check on them—!” The saloon doors open with a bang, spooking the band, the music screeching to a halt when they see Hobie standing there drenched, bleeding and covered in weapons. Everyone stops to look, the brim of his hat covers half of his face, scar in full display, ring glinting in the light. Silence hangs, not even a whisper can be heard. “Holy fuck.” Riri pushes past people to get closer to him, hands reaching out to him, eyes seeking you from behind him. When she doesn't see you, she presumes the worst.

“They found her.” Lightning strikes behind him, briefly showing his red eyes.

Riri nods, hiding her shaking hands with a fist. “I've got your back, just like I said.” Miguel stands dumbfounded, frowning, eyebrows knitted in anger.

Hobie glances at the customers he knows, half of them were from the gang he used to run with. The other half are afraid of him. He turns his heed towards Miguel, eyes boring into the man. “Remember that bounty you never got?” Miguel smirks, already placing his hat on his head. “Any valuables you find, it's yours and the gang’s. Time to get even, Miguel.”

He hears ear splitting cheers before he collapses into Riri's arms.

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