#so any stable activity is unlikely until (gags) the holidays.

[svyatoiy]

i lasted two weeks with decent activity before the assignments started piling up and took over my life...

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Vacations are rare for the Waynes” - Batmom x Batfam

Here’s a little collection of short stories about the Batfamily going to the beach/being in vacation ! I kinda just had ideas for tiny little snippets rather than a story that was a long one and made sense...it’s bad. Hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

How did the Wayne found time to go on vacation ?  

God bless Batwoman, Batgirl, Jim Gordon...And everyone who joined in helping the Batfamily over the years, because thanks to them, you, your husband, kids and beloved butler were FINALLY able to take some times off. 

A few years ago, leaving Gotham for vacations would have been a big no-no for Bruce, and you always understood, you really did. Hell, you had trouble leaving the Bat computer behind...But ever since he got new allies that weren’t direct family, things got easier. 

They all were able, since a long time now, to take at least one night off during the week and such. But actually full on holidays ? Oh that didn’t happen in...in...in forever ! 

The only holiday you went on with Bruce was without the kids, and it was for your Honeymoon. Three days. Three days of pure bliss (and lots of sex).

And now, the opportunity to be all together for A FULL WEEK came up ! 

It all started because Tim got injured pretty bad, but still wanted to go on patrol...and you lost your shit. You were always supportive of their nightly activities (though worried sick as well), and you were monitoring the bat computer almost every night, when you didn’t have “date night” with Bruce or “mother/son bonding time” with one of your boys ! 

You were really understanding, and you too wanted Gotham to be a safe place, having had the same kind of background than Bruce...But hell if you were going to let one of your babies go out in the streets while he was badly injured !

With your famous “Batmom Glare” and a stern voice, you told Tim : 

-You’re not going. You’re taking some vacation my boy, to relax and be fully charged again. In fact, we’re all taking a vacation ! 

...It kinda just happened. You were mad, they didn’t want to make you angry (you were scary when angry), and it was true that...All of them wanted well deserved time off. 

And it was decided. A week far away from the murkiness, grittiness, darkness that was Gotham, in the sunny Bahamas. Perfect. 

Of course, Bruce made sure that coming back to the city fast was possible, and also made sure to brief all of the Batpeople on anything that could happen but...He also really wanted to go. He wasn’t getting any younger and though he’d never admit it your little burst of anger was a blessing for him too. 

You all needed time away. Oh yes. And though you also made sure Gotham would be in safe hands (anyway, villains got pretty calm lately), you left without hesitation ! TO THE BAHAMAS !! 

The Airport :

You have no idea how you managed it. 

Everything was ready. Packed. On the go. And everyone was operational on time and, somehow along the way, after verifying everyone had everything they needed, after breaking a fight between Jason and Damian and convincing Dick that he didn’t need three luggages. After making sure everything was swell in the Batcave, and convincing Alfred to stop packing food and such...You ended up very late at the airport. 

You missed your plane. It wasn’t a big deal, in a few call Bruce got the Wayne Inc jet to come pick you guys up, but you were already a bit upset. 

It was ridiculous, you knew it, but traveling in a normal plane (even if in first class) was guarantying your anonymity when you’d arrive in the Bahamas. Arriving with the Jet where “WAYNE INC” was written across it in huge black letter on the white plain...well, it wouldn’t be so discreet anymore. 

You hoped it wouldn't ruin your vacation, that paparazzis wouldn’t harass you guys...But Bruce reassured you when he said he booked an entire beach resort just for you all. Of course he would. 

Going through security was more difficult that it should have been...Because of course Damian had knives in the pocket of his shorts. And of course he would try to fight the TSA agents trying to take it away, AND OF COURSE JASON WOULD ALMOST KNOCK THE MAN DOWN BECAUSE HOW DARE HE TOUCH HIS LITTLE BROTHER !! You guys almost all ended up at the police station until...The TSA agent recognize you and Bruce, asked for a picture with you guys, and just fanboy over you two. 

Needless to say, plenty of people took pictures of you guys walking through the airport to the VIP Lounge. 

So much for a discreet vacation. 

The fight to the death for the best room in the Villa : 

A magnificent villa. It wasn’t as big as Wayne Manor (good), but it was massive. Of course, your boys had to find a reason to fight and...

They wanted to fight to the death for the best room. Well, maybe not to death but this good old : “Last one standing gets the best room !” thing. 

They were bummed out that you wouldn’t let them. Of course you wouldn’t. 

You and Bruce took the best room, and your argument about it being the furthest away from all the other rooms so that they wouldn’t hear you two “doing it” won them over. Yeah. Ok. Their parents could take the best room. 

And to settle the rest, you made them play a mean game of...Rock paper scissor. When they all got their assigned room, you dared them to be grumpy about it...And of course, none of them uttered a word. And when Bruce took your hand, laying a loving kiss on it, saying something cheesy like : “You always got the best solutions my love” and started to slowly drag you behind him toward your bedroom to the two of you, peppering kisses down your neck and all...Oh they ran away to the beach. As fast as they could.

The Hammock :

On the wooden terrace outside, with a beautiful view of the ocean, there was a hammock, attached between two trees. 

It was probably Bruce’s favorite place to fall asleep and relax. 

Often, when you came back from the beach, having left without telling him because you didn’t want to wake him up (he had a lot of sleep to catch up), you would lay a small kiss on his nose or his forehead. 

That morning, as you were getting ready to go to the beach with your sons, right after breakfast, you went once again to kiss him but...He wasn’t asleep this time. Oh no. 

He grabbed you and dragged you down on top of him, kissing you passionately on the mouth, completely ignoring the gagging sounds coming from where his kids were and...Well. 

A hammock isn’t exactly the most stable of things. And of course you fell on the floor. As usual, he managed to be the first one to hit the ground, and shielded you from the small little shock. 

The laugh that took over your entire family was the freshest you all ever shared. 

The boat : 

It was a very nice boat. Very nice indeed. 

And you should have never listened to Damian when he said : “Can I drive ? I know how”. Never. Because he crashed it on the beach. 

But not just any beach, oh no. A beach where there was a restaurant. 

The horrified look on yours and Bruce’s faces would have been hilarious in any other situation, but Dick, Jason and Tim couldn’t laugh, trying to calm their heart because THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO DIE !! 

He crashed in a fucking restaurant. Salads and wine flew everywhere, covering you guys. And all he had to say was : 

-I said I knew how to drive, not how to stop. 

The sand :

It was notoriously known that you hated the sand. And it was notoriously known that neither your sons nor your husband could resist you much. Whenever you had to go to the beach, one of them would give you a piggy back ride to the water and back. 

And the worst thing was ? They did it with great pleasure. Because they knew that you really REALLY hated sand. Besides, Bruce loved the way you kissed his neck and jaw when he was holding you, Dick loved how you ruffled his hair, Jason loved how you’d annoy his brothers about how much taller than them he was, and how high up you felt on his back, you forbid Tim to even try to carry you as he was still injured, and Damian spent the entire trip trying to convince you “he could do it”. When you let him, he made twelve steps before dropping you in the sand. 

It was so cute, how he apologized, that you didn’t even get mad. Oh damn you loved those boys...

The diving board : 

They broke it. Of course they broke it. You told them they would break it. But were they listening to you ? Nooooo. 

When they were going one by one on it, it was all fine of course. 

But as soon as they started to try to jump more than one from it, you knew they were going to break it. And the worst thing in all of that ? Bruce was encouraging them, hell, he even went to jump with them and, as they were all on the fucking board...

Crrrrraaaack. 

You and Alfred face palmed so hard that you were pretty sure you both just settled a record. 

You had absolutely no remorse pulling roughly that massive splinter Bruce got in his thigh when the board shattered...Though after his “Tjaaaaah that hurt !” that was very much unlike him (after all, you fixed injuries that were way worst than that on him), you gave him a look signifying that you would make it all feel better tonight, and he visibly gulped. 

The next day, his sons and Alfred tried their hardest to ignore the love bites that littered his thighs. 

When someone hit on Batmom : 

It happened really fast. 

You were waiting for Bruce and the boys to come back with ice creams when you got accosted by three men. Sure they were pretty good looking, but not as half handsome as they thought they were. 

Ew. Exactly the kind of men you hated, who thought they were irresistible. They started to hit on you shamelessly, and you were about to humiliate them with your sarcasms and wits when something better arrived...

Your husband and sons. 

Bruce was towering above them, being a gigantic man, and with a harsh voice just said : 

-Is there a problem here ?

They slowly backed away, not even realizing they were doing it, and said that of course not, everything was good, they were just discussing with the lady. 

-The lady is my wife. 

Damn. Even the little kid looked at them as if he was about to kill them...those dudes were scary. And a pretty girl, even as pretty as you, was just not worth it ! They cowered away, not looking back even once. 

Bruce gave you a look asking if you were ok, and you raised your eyebrows. As if annoying men never hit on you before. The reminiscence that some men thought you were highly attractive displeased your husband, and you knew that once you’d got in your shared bedroom, just the two of you, you’d be in for a treat. You winked at him and your sons rolled their eyes. 

You were about to thank them when... : 

-I was about to shove my ice cream up their...

-JASON ! 

-Oh hum, sorry mom. 

“GO AWAY I WANT TO READ !” : 

You were comfortably installed on a beach chair, reading an amazing book, when Bruce arrived. 

He went to swim a bit on his own, to “clear his mind”, and good, because you wanted to read right now. You guys all got so busy so far that you didn’t had time to read at all, and that wasn’t going to work. 

He was wet and was acting as if he was going to lay next to you...putting your feet on his abs, not looking up from your book, you pushed him away and said : 

-Broosh, I’m reading right now. 

He ignored you and grabbed your foot in one hand, grabbing the other one too as you were about to push him with this one and just landed on you, his head on your stomach, his body in between your legs. 

You sighed, and tried to get away from his grasp, but he wouldn’t have it. 

Usually, you didn’t mind when he was getting clingy, but hell, you were trying to read ! How dare he interrupt your reading ! Especially since his open mouthed kisses on your stomach were a bit...distracting. You suddenly understood why he privatized an entire resort...But no. Not now. 

With a frown, you got hold of his chin and made him look up to you : 

-I. Am. Reading. 

Oh. You weren’t kidding. You were totally not in the mood. He groaned a bit, but didn’t insist much. He didn’t move though, laying his head back on your stomach, and when you didn’t protest, he just stayed there and fell asleep...

Your hands caressing his hair and back lovingly is what woke him up. 

Your book was on a table on the side, and the look in your eyes...Well alright then. Reading time was over, and you were ready to take care of him. And him of you. 

You giggled like a teenage girl when he got on his knees and dragged you with him to pick you up bridal style, and rushed back to your shared bedroom where he was sure no one would snap naked pictures of the both of you...It wouldn’t be of the best taste, to be in the people magazines, butt naked, when you two would come home. 

The muscle flexing contest : 

The villa you rented (and were more and more thinking to buy) wasn’t far from a small town where a lot of other vacationers where. One night, you all went there to see what was up and...Oh my god you almost died of embarrassment. 

There was a “muscle flexing contest” that was suppose to be a joke...but your sons took it very seriously. They flexed all their muscles, and though it was a bit embarrassing how much into this they all were, you couldn’t help but smile at them. Especially at your two oldest sons that kept winking at girls and such. 

Jason was about to win when his father stood on the stage, and of course, everyone voted for him. 

You glared at more than one woman (and men) that were eating your Bruce with their eyes, and when he got down with a RIDICULOUS trophy in the form of a bodybuilder, the kiss you gave him made everyone envious. Of both him and you. Because maybe you were a bit jealous, but it’s only because you didn’t notice all those men (and women) staring at you because of the natural aura that surrounded you, that just made you so damn attractive. 

You and Bruce, suddenly unaware of your surroundings, didn’t realize all the envious stare you both got, because it really seemed, even to people who didn't know you, that you were both so much in love. 

You didn’t hear either, too focused on each others, the laughs of people around when your sons followed after you two making gagging sounds and other face as if they were about to vomit. 

The cute teenage girls : 

Oh more than one heart was broken that week. 

Dick did it, but not on purpose. He was such a nice young man that he was treating every girl he met very nicely, and they all thought he meant more...but then, whenever he said he actually had a girlfriend back home. Oh broken hearts. 

Jason found a girlfriend. She was from the Bahamas and it tore your heart apart a bit when they had to say goodbye. They exchanged their numbers, and you knew that if that was actually genuine true first love, then a long distance relationship would work. And oh damn Jason was just so cute being all awkward and nervous. He reminded you of Bruce when you first met him. It was funny really, because they were both quite intimidating and such and yet...Yet they had a heart of gold and were your personal little teddy bears.

Tim was a player. Oh my god hat boy surprised you ! He took advantage of his injuries to get to talk to girls and WOW. And everyone thought he was just a nerdy kid uh ? Clearly, they were wrong. You almost scolded him, because you didn’t not like womanizer but you quickly realized that he wasn’t actually doing any harm, and you knew he would go back to being your lovely geeky and awkward boy addicted to coffee when you’d all get home. Let him have his harmless fun, as long as it was just little kisses (and seeing how his face turned red every time he pecked a girl, it was clearly just little kisses...how cute).

Damian blushed like crazy when a cute girl his age talked to him, and he ran away. The girl got very confused, and Damian came to find shelter in your arm. Oh, he just wasn’t ready yet to talk to cute girls...The ordinary so sure Damian Wayne was scared of that. But hey, his mommy’s embrace was quite reassuring and he would kill anyone mocking him right now. 

Dick :

Dick had the time of his life. 

He surfed, he swam, he did parkour with some of the local kids, teaching them some moves, he ate amazing food, he spend time with his brothers, he drove you and Bruce crazy...He had the time of his life. It was the first time since he was nine and you took him to Disneyland that he got vacations. 

it was so nice to let all his worries, all his fear for the future behind, even for just a little short week. The only thing that was missing for everything to be perfect, was if his girlfriend Lydia was here (wink wink you know who you are). But she was away at her dad’s and he understood she needed some time. 

Tim : 

Tim’s favorite thing about the trip was that he got to spend some quality times with his entire family. 

Not just a movie night, and not just with one of his brothers, one of his parents or something...No. All together. At the same place at the same time. 

The second thing was that for the first time in a very very long time...He got full night sleeps. He had a full 9 hours of sleep more than once. He didn’t drink one cup of coffee of the entire trip, and when you gave him a little pins telling him that it was to celebrate his first week off coffee (as alcoholic or drug addict would have little coins to prove they were sober for 1, 2 etc etc years), he burst out in laughter like he never did before. 

And the way you were unable to not wrap your arms around him and squeeze him against your heart because of this filled him with happiness. 

Damian : 

Damian found that the proximity of the ocean, and the fact that his family was available whenever he wanted...turned him into the sweetest boy ever. 

He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing, but when Dick stole his ice cream as a joke, he didn’t try to kill him so...That was something. 

He found that this place, and the fact that he was with all of you, made him very emotional. He wanted to be with you all, and not alone as usual (just like you, he was quite introverted). And for the first time, he wasn’t ashamed to ask for cuddles, for kisses, and just genuinely voice his enjoyment of being there, with all of you. He missed his animals though, and you had to console him very late at night once, because he wanted his batcow...Your hugs and kisses made all the little blue feelings he felt go away. 

Jason :

Jason hasn’t had such a great week since he came back to life. 

To his taste, it wasn’t long enough. He wished he had more time, because those short seven little days, he got closer to his brothers and his father than ever before. 

You ? Well you two always been close, even in his darkest moment. You’ve always been his beloved mother. But the relationship he had with his brothers and dad wasn’t always...ideal. 

During those seven days though, it was perfect. Not one fight. He fished with Bruce, just the two of them, talking talking and talking. He taught Damian how to bodysurf. Tim and him made the best homemade fireworks ever. And with Dick, they just spend their time chilling at the beach, and talking about anything that came to their mind (including stupid things like : “What really are platypuses ?”).

Bruce : 

Bruce felt everything his children felt and more.

He was happy to be far from his obligations, to be with his family, to enjoy their presence without any worries tainting everything. 

For the first time since this fateful night when his parents got murdered...he was truly free of every negative feelings. You usually had his effect on him, but even you couldn’t erase everything, and though he loved you more than anything, so much it hurt and all of that, though he would die for your well being...sometimes, he couldn’t kick the sadness away, and even you couldn’t change that. He had learn to live with this dark spot on his heart at all time...and yet...here...here, it went away. 

Of course, most of the time when he was with you, the dark spot on his heart was microscopic but it was still there, lingering , ready to come back as soon as you were gone. 

But here, on this island, with all the people he loved...he was free.

Everything went away, and only happiness and love remained. 

Alfred : 

You didn’t find much of Alfred. Sure he was around for some family time. He was there when you guys watched movies before bed. He was there for lunches and dinners but...other than that, he was no where to be seen. 

You understood, really. His vacations were to know you guys were all safe (as long as you decided not to do anything stupid...like letting Damian drive a boat ever again), and that he could let go. 

And so he spend a week on his own, not worrying one bit for the first time in years. 

The way home :

The way home was quiet and full of nostalgia already. 

You were glad to come home but...The memories you made during this week were just so incredible.

Bruce made a mental note to try and find a way to get time off more often. And as he holds your sleeping form in his arms on the plane trip home, as you cuddle close to him and as he looks upon his comatose sons (very tired...jet lagged) and half-asleep butler, he cannot help but smile and be ridiculously happy. 

Yes. He would make sure that you would all have time off from time to time. Next time, he’d take you guys to Europe or something...

___________________________

Hope you liked it. It was just a really silly idea I got all of a sudden, and I wrote it in 11 minutes (yes, I’m a looser, I counted...). Ahem. Anyway. Thanks for reading :-).