#so after the latest episode i figured we needed something a bit lighter

[tyyppicookie]

Harper + not wanting to lose Phil

[dukeofonions]

“Because I was one of them.”

“Oh, okay cool.”

Or alternatively: Why Virgil’s confession has lost it’s impact.

Exploring the Dark Sides (Part One)

Something I realized the other day is that a lot of my current issues with this series wouldn’t exist if there was a consistent uploading schedule. 

You see when there’s a steady stream of new content flowing I’m more inclined to just go with the flow and not spend so much time looking back analyzing things I’ve already floated past because why should I when there’s so much new stuff ahead? 

But say that stream suddenly comes to an abrupt stop and I’m left sitting with nowhere else to go. At that point I start looking back, noticing little things that I hadn’t noticed during my initial trip down this metaphorical river. I now notice all the jagged rocks, how shallow the water actually is, etc. 

And while this doesn’t necessarily ruin my experience over all, I’m left scratching my head wondering whose idea it was to come to this place anyway. Sure it’s not the worst place to go floating, but surely there’s a better place with deeper water and less hazards. Just an easier way to float along where one doesn’t have to worry about the stream suddenly ending. 

I don’t know where this metaphor came from but to sum it up: since there are such long waits (years now) between actual Sanders Sides episodes and there’s a lack of new content to take in, I’m left looking back over what we have now and during my little look backs I’ve begun to notice some things that cause issues with the latest additions to the series. 

Some of the more interesting things I’ve noticed revolve around the three resident “Dark Sides” and how they’re written in the series. While a lot of it is really good and I think they’ve got some of the best moments in the series, there’s also a lot of little things that pop up that, when looking at the series as a whole, don’t make a lot of sense. 

Which is why I’ve begun this little series where I do a little deep dive into some of these things I’ve noticed and break them down to see if I can try and make sense of it, and this post is going to focus on Virgil.

More specifically, Virgil’s confession to being a former “Dark Side” and how it’s kinda lost it’s thunder.

As per usual, this is all my own opinion and you’re free to agree or disagree as you see fit. Of course I get pretty salty but I try to avoid getting too negative because where’s the fun in that? 

Anywho, on with the show! 

I’ll admit, despite my problems with the concept of “Dark Sides” as a whole, I genuinely loved the subplot of Virgil hiding that he used to be one of them from Thomas.

From a story telling standpoint they do a good job with the foreshadowing, leaving plenty of clues for the audience to find and it all pays off at the end. It’s also unclear at first whether Roman, Logan, and Patton know (Spoiler alert they do) and there’s some close calls via Janus and Remus dropping hints in front of Thomas which cause Virgil to freak out and adds some tension to the series. 

It also provides a bit of a mystery around Virgil, Janus, and Remus as while it’s clear that the three have some kind of history together we’re never told or shown explicitly how their relationship was. Of course, we’re given plenty of hints, but we have yet to know what life was like when Virgil was “one of them” and it gives the audience more to look forward to and theorize about. 

And of course, the actual reveal itself is amazing. The acting, the music, the complete silence after Virgil confesses and him looking like he’s about to cry as he sinks out is just *cheff’s kiss* perfect.

So what exactly is the problem here? 

The foreshadowing? There’s just enough to get people theorizing but still plenty of room for people to speculate without spelling everything out. 

The reveal? What can I say, I don’t have any complaints here. It’s definitely one of my favorite scenes from the series and I can’t find a single thing wrong with it from a technical stand point.

But as mentioned before, I started thinking about it more, and after taking everything we know about Virgil and "the dark sides" into account, this question suddenly came to mind:

Why is Thomas so shocked by this?

Think about it, when Virgil first appeared he was a little bitch. He was kind of the first antagonist of the series. Not evil per say, but compared to the other Sides he was a little shit who enjoyed bringing Thomas down. He was very much what one might consider a "dark side."

He wasn't ever trying to act like a "good guy" in order to earn Thomas's trust or anything, he was very open about what his role was and how it’s just who he is. So really, Thomas's reaction should have been something along the lines of, "Oh, okay. Makes sense."

Of course, we do see Virgil change over time and we learn that he isn't as bad as he seems (even though that seems questionable now) but that should have made his "past" even more obvious.

Like, Thomas, the guy had a whole acceptance arc because he was a bitch and no one liked him. You were literally there throughout his entire journey, it shouldn't surprise you that he was once part of a group you consider to be "evil."

Well okay, maybe Virgil just wanted to be honest regardless of whether or not the "dark sides" are actually evil or not. Who knows? Maybe he chose to confess when he did because he saw how horribly Remus had been affecting Thomas and seeing as he felt as though he'd failed to protect Thomas from Remus and Janus, figured he might as well try to protect Thomas from himself as well.

Which, okay, if that were the case then that could explain Thomas's reaction. He'd just met Remus, saw him at what could he his worst (we've only had one actual episode with Remus so who knows how bad he can get?) and while he learned that he's actually pretty easy to deal with and isn't as scary as he thought, who's to say the reverse couldn't happen with Virgil?

He saw that he wasn't as bad as he thought, but when you look at how nasty Virgil's been lately, who's to say that couldn't happen? It's been said that Virgil, as Thomas's anxiety, is manageable and isn't as bad as others. But we've literally seen Thomas say that he's afraid of what Virgil could do and so he just kind of has to let him do his thing in order to avoid all the "bad stuff" he could do.

According to Thomas: "There's a lot that Virgil could do that I don't want him to do. He knows exactly how to push my buttons. But he is who he is. All we can do is try to listen to him as best as we can and adapt to his needs."

(For anyone who wants to watch the clip here's the time stamp Embarrassing Phases 20:31)

Uh, yeah, that sounds super healthy there. But I'll get into my issues with that little message in another post.

Just before this though, Roman had asked Thomas if "He's (Virgil) going back to being scary can I go back to calling him names?"

Thomas responds by telling him as he's leaving that he still has to be nice to him, before Logan expresses that he's glad (or relieved) that Virgil didn't go into Thomas's "girl phase" which just hearing it being mentioned seems to stress Thomas out. Then finally after Logan leaves Patton explains that while he's trying to respect Virgil's wants and still be a good friend, he feels like he just makes things worse which is where Thomas attempts to reassure him.

Except his advice is to just, let Virgil do what he wants so he doesn't hurt them? And while he says they need to work with Virgil it doesn't seem like he's requiring Virgil to work with him as well in order to not make his life miserable?

Hm, is it possible that my answer as to why Thomas reacts so strongly to Virgil being "one of them" lies within my least favorite episode in the series?

Perhaps Thomas was already starting to be afraid of Virgil before the whole confession in DWIT, and has gotten to a point where he's forcing himself (shown by him telling the others to keep "being nice to Virgil" despite how he treats them) to just take whatever Virgil throws at him in order to spare himself from whatever worse things Virgil could do to him?

That, added with everything that happens in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, where Thomas witnesses a Side of himself that appears to be worse than Virgil, could have set him on edge. And if Remus, who he considers a dark side, who he openly admits to hating and is so afraid of him that he loses sleep, then just how bad could Virgil be if he was ever at his worst?

With all that in mind, yeah. It does make sense why Thomas would react the way he did and why he'd be cautious of trusting Virgil in the future.

Except, none of this has actually been confirmed within the series and is purely speculation and since we still don't have the season two finale, we really have no idea what Thomas actually feels towards the situation since he kinda brushes it off at the end of DWIT by doing the outro.

But wait... we actually do know how Thomas feels. In fact, we already know how the issue is resolved!

Looks like it's time for-

How Asides Ruins Everything!

You all remember when Asides was first announced, right? These were meant to be shorter, lighter videos that took place outside of the current series and were meant to give us content in between the long breaks for regular Sanders Sides episodes that also wouldn't get in the way of filming said episodes.

Well we all know how that little idea turned out seeing as it's now been a year since Putting Others First and they decided that we needed to have two Asides episodes before the finale that were apparently essential to the "plot" even though the current plot in Sanders Sides has nothing to do with Thomas getting a boyfriend but I digress.

But you know, I wouldn't be as upset about the Asides causing us having to wait longer for the actual story to pick up again, if the Asides episodes didn't ruin the actual series!

How did it manage this? Well, let's just look at Virgil here and the entire point of this post which is, as the title states, why his confession has lost its impact.

And the answer? Well, at some point the writer's decided that the best way to resolve the new conflict between Thomas and Virgil was to have them indirectly make amends by using some random character that is clearly just a stand in for Virgil and use this character's "confession of a past they weren't proud of" as a way to discuss the situation and Thomas's feelings on the matter just to have Thomas indirectly assure Virgil that they're still "okay" and it doesn't bother him.

So according to Asides, Thomas is just fine with Virgil despite his confession. And as we see in the following Asides episode, they're still cool with each other!

So what was the point of that dramatic confession, which was being built up towards throughout pretty much all of season two, just to have the characters indirectly discuss it and make amends like it was nothing???

Why should the audience care when it all just gets brushed aside (ha) like it's no big deal?

Everything was in place for Virgil's reveal before the Asides came into the picture. You had the build up, you had the pay off, there was the suspense when Virgil was completely absent from POF, and then you would have had him confronting Thomas and the two having to directly come to terms with this new information.

But nope! Let's just have them sit awkwardly by each other on the couch while they watch Frozen in onesies while everyone keeps talking about some random character whom the audience has never heard of before that we're supposed to figure out is meant to represent Virgil and Thomas is all "Nah we're still cool bro."

What's supposed to happen now? Janus is supposedly a "good guy" now so why would he bring up Virgil's past to get under his skin? And if he still does why would it bother Thomas since he's already come to terms with it?

Look, even though I've got my problems with the concept of "dark sides" as a whole, it wouldn't have mattered to me if they'd at least committed to telling a good story here with Virgil's past because I was genuinely interested in that.

I freaked out when he told Thomas, and initially I thought we weren't going to see those two interact again until the finale where Virgil would finally have to face Thomas and we'd get to watch how he comes to terms with it. And if Asides hadn't been a thing and we had gone straight from DWIT to POF it looks like this was the direction they were headed.

But instead we're basically told (not shown) by Thomas that he's fine with Virgil. And the reason as to why Virgil's not in POF despite being on good terms with Thomas?

"There was just no reason for him to be there."

Really? There was no reason for Virgil, who was directly part of the discussion that led to POF in the first place, to be present during the aftermath of the decision they all had helped Thomas make?

There was more reason for him to be there than Logan and he still showed up! They had the perfect explanation set up for them in DWIT: Virgil had just revealed his past to Thomas and due to being afraid of how he'd respond (or just wanting to give Thomas space and not stress him out more) chose to remain absent from the conversation.

That actually makes sense and lines up with the story but nope.

The "Dark Sides" and Virgil's past with them was one of my favorite things about the series. The mystery surrounding it all and Virgil trying to protect Thomas from them while keeping his own history with them a secret was a brilliant concept thats just kinda fallen flat on its face.

The long waits between episodes don't help, and how they're rushing through certain aspects within the series itself along with Asides coming in and muddling things up, I don't really care to be invested anymore.

Why should I when there's a chance anything interesting they come up with will just be glossed over like it's no big deal?

It's hard to make a final judgment here in regards to Virgil's current arc when we still have no conclusion in sight. But from what we've seen from Asides, which is now integral to the plot of Sanders Sides, we kinda already have our answer.

Thomas and Virgil are just fine with each other. We learned that Flirting With Social Anxiety takes place right after POF and that Virgil already knows about Janus getting on Thomas's good side so there's no suspension with him finding out about that either.

All that's really left with him is his troubling relationship with Patton but I don't even care about that anymore. They've hardly addressed it at all and given what we've been seeing I doubt the conclusion to their strained relationship won't be satisfying either.

I don't know what the finale, or the rest of the series, will hold concerning Virgil. While I hope that things will turn around and get better, at this current rate it doesn't seem likely.

Episodes are still taking years to make, and the ones we're getting are just distracting from the main plot or taking things away.

Virgil isn't the only character suffering from this, but at least he's not as worse off as others.

Which is why in the next installment of this series, we'll be taking a look at a little, yellow snake and how one of the characters with the most potential ended up being the most underwhelming parts of the series.

[lizacstuff]

i'd love (if you'd like ofc) to hear your thoughts on episode 20 as a whole! i personally really really enjoyed it.. it had some very good moments not only between edser but between serkan and his dad and selin. and of course were serving that angsty, but flirty, UST that we all love! it felt like a weight was lifted off serkan and he just became even more open with her, if that makes sense? what he says to her about leaving in the latest fragman kinda shows that too.

Are you sure you want my full thoughts? Because I'm about to get long winded, like novel long winded, lol. To start off, on a superficial note, can I say that casually dressed, brooding Serkan was pretty hot? Hello, Sailor! Can we see you in pullovers and hoodies and T-shirts more often? But just happier? He was soooo sad in the opening scenes, and honestly, when you think about it, it's pretty dark that he was so messed up that he didn't leave the house or attend to any business matters for those couple of days. Very unlike him, but he's probably never been at this depth of despair before. Now, since pretty much everyone knows he wasn't leaving the house while Eda was gone, I hope someone (cough Melo cough) tells Eda, she should know that. On a similar note, Eda's friendship with the girls is so lovely. They're indeed her family. Interesting juxtaposition that she took refuge with her friends, while Serkan holed up and stayed away from everyone who cares about him. 

I agree that once we got past the dark brooding and he had the talk with his mom about how if Eda was punishing him there was still hope, he was a lot lighter. I think finally being out from under the secret did him a world of good. He can finally stop pretending to be indifferent and can just be honest about how he feels.  What the “Gitme” line in the fragman tells me, is that he’s ready to put it all out there. He’s not going to risk miscommunications or hurt feelings anymore. Which is amazing and should lead to great things in the next couple of episodes.

More under the cut (a lot more):

I absolutely agree about the scenes between Serkan and his dad and Serkan and Selin. The writing was really terrific and Kerem just knocked both of those scenes out of the park. Serkan's suppressed fury was palpable, and it was extremely cathartic to finally watch him let loose on both of them. The scene with his father went deeper in the family trauma and it was so interesting to hear Serkan say outright to both of them that the reason he moved onto the property was because Aydan couldn't leave and his dad was never there, and was never there for him as a father at all. Which we saw from the beginning when Alpteken was actually at the house but refused to attend his son's engagement party. Regardless of the fact that Serkan sprung Eda on them, not walking 50 feet to make an appearance at your son's engagement party is an asshole move. I wonder how long he's been cheating on Aydan? Years? It's interesting how she foreshadowed that revelation to Ayfer, like she knew.

Also I can't believe he was just cavorting around a luxury hotel in Istanbul. The whole Bolat family are obviously figures in the upscale social scene, anyone who knew Aydan or Serkan could have easily spotted him with that woman and gleefully spread the gossip back. Did he want to get caught? Jerkoff.

As for Selin, we been waitin' for that explosion since she sold her shares without telling Serkan!  I like that Serkan was kind to her after Ferit left her at the altar, it spoke to him taking responsibility for the part he played in trying to manipulate her out of that relationship. However, she took advantage of the new, kinder Serkan (the one that exists courtesy of Eda) and went way too far into unstable territory. I, and many other people, were so confused about why Selin was so angry about uncovering the truth of the accident, like what right did she have to be that angry over it, to stomp over to his house, barge in uninvited and accuse him of being a liar at top decibel levels? Thank goodness the writing acknowledged that it was not her place, and that was the thing that enraged Serkan. They actually allowed him to say, "How dare you come to my house, and I don't owe you any explanations." Also, I'm glad he laid out his feelings for Eda, and his lack of feelings for her. Look... that is rough. Hearing from an ex that they never loved you.  But how she could have been in any doubt, after seeing the changes in him since Eda is beyond my comprehension. She even said early on, It's like there's two Serkans, the one before you met Eda, and the one after. For whatever reason it's like she thought Eda could come in and affect him, and then she could step in and get the Serkan who was in love with Eda, not the rigid, cold one who was in a relationship of convenience with her.  DELUSIONAL.

There was so much more about this episode I loved. It was nice to see Ayfer blossoming in her new business and getting a glimpse of Fifi's past. She comes from a society family, does she? I liked that Ferit helped them. I do agree that impressing Ceren was probably on his mind, but I like to think he's also just a nice man and he likes Ayfer and wanted to genuinely help as well. Interesting that we found out that Ferit's mom never liked Selin. Curious since you'd think she'd look great on paper, perhaps it was because of the speed at which they were moving, and I think she also stood them up, right? That made me like Ferit's mom a bit more than I otherwise would have. 

Aydan was in her element getting back to her charity work, I loved the way she plotted to put her name forward for the leadership position. She's just so savvy. That's why I'm glad she's now TeamEda!  Imagine what a formidable duo Eda and Adyan will make in this world, we saw a glimpse of it last week, but they'll be unstoppable! 

The contract was a neat device. I really appreciate how it was used. One of the things that Eda feels like she can't trust is the way Serkan has tried to control her. As I've said before, I think he's really trying to control the situation. And while that doesn't really make a difference to Eda in this instance, it does make a difference to me as a viewer. If he were being controlling in the sense of trying to dictate what she says or who she is, that would be upsetting. But that's not it, he really loves her for who she is already and he's not trying to change that, he's just, as I said, trying to control the situation. We know that he likes to think everything through and always has a plan and in this instance he was just trying to protect her, but she's right that he can't do that in a relationship. Proving to her that he can cede control is important and that's exactly what the contract did. We saw him do it willingly and blindly and it was actually really beautiful. Obviously, the Serkan apology to Erdem was hilarious, but more than how much I enjoyed how funny it was, I enjoyed how delighted Eda was by it. She loved every minute of it and it was so nice to see her relax a minute and genuinely laugh both at and with Serkan. Additionally, I think she was pretty surprised that he'd followed through with it. Lots of layers to that scene.  

The charity meeting he engineered was also pretty fun to watch. I loved how he calls Engin in to join them with no prep and then just expects Engin to reel off a bunch of good ideas for the girls education initiative. Good times. And Leyla rushing in to let him know that Melo had quit was hilarious, I love that Serkan was like "the whole situation is right here" meaning that Eda was in the room so whatever Leyla had to tell him could not possibly be important. Only Eda is important! LOL. Then Serkan doesn't even think before looping Engin in to go immediately hire Melo. You know what I hope this means!? That my crackship Mengin might actually sail!!!!  LET'S DO THIS MENGIN!!!!  Oh... I know, the show seems really committed to the mismatched duo of Engin/Peril, but I really think Engin and Melo are better suited to one another. And now maybe they'll get scenes together. Piril can dump him for being too... him, and Melo can help him pick up the pieces. They would be Serkan and Eda's big-hearted, teddybear couple friends!  

Watching Eda blossom creatively and professionally while working with Serkan has been a joy. She doesn't stand in awe of him at all as a person, but she does a little professionally, and it's wonderful to see how no matter how angry she is with him or where they are in their relationship she always craves his feedback, takes in his critiques and suggestions, and basks in his praise. While she didn't want his help with her schoolwork, I can't help but wonder if he ever comes up at school. I mean she's in the tabloids with him, and since he's extremely relevant to the field of study, and specifically to that school since he built the library, do her classmates ask her about him? Or does she mention something she did or learned working at ArtLife while in class? Inquiring minds want to know.

As for Eda's resolve to keep things professional, that pretty much was DOA. She definitely challenged him to break the contract there in that room, and I think she actually wanted him to do it, though I’m not sure how she would have reacted. she wants him, but she wasn’t there yet. She knows resistance is futile, deep down she recognizes her own feelings and his and knows they'll never stay away from one another and it's only a matter-of-time, but I think she needs this. She needs for him to understand what it means to be in a relationship, she needs him to know that he can't make decisions without her, and she needs to be sure he's ready to be a partner. Thankfully, he made a lot of headway in demonstrating all of those things in this episode. He signed without reading, he was willing to do anything and everything she asked, and while he's still him (asking Leyla for intel) he respected her wishes while still being there for her in a real way throughout the episode.  

Poor Eda fainting, but it's really romantic that he's always there to catch her. I assume this narcolepsy or whatever it is, like her claustrophobia, is related to the trauma around the retaining wall collapse and her parents' death. It was sweet the way he convinced her to let him be there when she met the contractor, and then during the confrontation he didn't intervene, he let Eda say what she needed to say and was there to move the guy along when it was time. He was pretty much perfect. I know we all NEEDED him to hug her, both Eda and Serkan NEEDED it as well, but she wasn't ready to ask for him yet and he was smart enough not to push it. But the loooooooooonging. 

It's a small detail that she asked him to deal with the paps and he went home and set about doing just that. Hopefully whatever he was doing will lead to the revelation that Selin is the one who planted the story in the first place. I need that, we all need that. And just when you think it's too late at night, he does their "thing" and shows up at her place with Sirius. So dang sweet. I like that he was respecting her pretense about colleagues while at the same time just outright saying, "I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"

The next day's car ride left me in a puddle. Serkan just out there telling her that he would do anything for her. But he didn't push it on her, he waited until she asked. He did a great job of pacing himself through the episode. I find it so romantic that she told him that he couldn't watch her speech. If they were together and settled and happy, I'd think she'd want him front row, center, but in their current state he just affects her too much. She'd be focused on him, worried about what he thought, distracted by him, he just sends her mind whiring and her pulse racing.

Though, it's pretty telling and super sweet that the first thing she wants to know when he approaches her afterward is what he thought of the speech. Oh, Eda, you're not fooling anyone. His opinion is most important to you, pretty much in all things. This scene gives us something that rarely happens, Engin being tone deaf and not reading the room!! WTF was wrong with him? Interrupting like that? Dude knows that Serkan is in a situation here, you don't interrupt for really no reason like that! Get your head in the game, son! Your his wingman, you help, not hinder!

The way Eda blushed and looked pleased every time he complimented her this episode was something else. She's trying to keep emotional distance, and he's breaking the rules when he does it, but still it makes her day. She's never portrayed as a vain character, at all, so it's just so sweet how his words and his compliments affect her. No one else can make her feel like that. 

Serkan was pretty sly in making his case as well. He gets her a bit mushy telling her she lights up the room and then brings up her speech and how it might apply to him. He was right in that she probably hasn't considered things from his perspective. How devastating it must have been for him to learn the truth. I want her to go back and piece together the timeline. She knew something wasn't right with him at the mall when she gave him the robot. Maybe it will help her deal with this if she realizes he had just learned the secret. She knew there was more to the story with the cut on his hand. Knowing he was so upset he put his hand through a coffee table might give her some perspective on his state of mind and why he acted the way he did.  But mostly I want him to tell her he overheard her conversation with Ceren. I think it's important for them both to confront how things unraveled if only to help prevent future miscommunications. 

Poor Eda having a good time using her powers of persuasion to tease Serkan into helping his mother only to find out that she had convinced him to auction himself off for a dinner date! I enjoyed her momentary discomfort at that. Welcome back, jealousy. Strictly work colleagues do not get jealous when one goes out to dinner with someone else, just saying, Eda.  And that smooth bastard bid on himself so he could go out with her only. We should have known! 

The conversation prior to the runway show was priceless, Eda's animosity and reserve sort of disappear and she's just unsure enough of what she's about to do that his reassurances are exactly what she needs.  And how Kerem Bursin can blush on demand, I don't know, but Serkan be red during that conversation, lol. 

I really loved all of Serkan's reactions as the ladies walked the runway. For Selin he was stone-faced and bored looking, for Fifi he gave a sly smirk as she passed as an acknowledgement of how different, and nice, she looked all cleaned up, Melo got the huge grin, we didn't really see Ceren since the camera was stuck on Ferit, but for Piril he gave her the fond, encouraging smile like he was proud of his friend. And then Eda. I don't even know what word to use for it. Enraptured? Dumsquizzled? Fuckstruck? Yes, let's go with fuckstruck. I'm not sure he remembered to breathe while she was walking, he was so affected by her.  This boy has it bad for this girl, ya'll. 

After that, the end was a punch in the gut. Our poor babies have been through so much, they really deserved to have that nice dinner.  Damn you, Selin! Obviously this was a delaying tactic, because once they sat down to dinner, you know they would have worked it out, so we wait. But the reconciliation is coming, don't you worry. I'm feeling it within the next 2 episodes for sure. 

[abigailnussbaum]

The Witcher S1: A Few Thoughts

Overall, I mostly enjoyed the show while finding myself least interested in its two main characters. Like a lot of fantasy stories, the fun of working out the history of the world can overshadow a fairly pedestrian main story. So even though most of my detailed reactions are critical, I’m definitely engaged and looking forward to the next season. I just wish I found Geralt, Ciri, and their whole deal more compelling.

The structure of the show is simultaneously its strongest point and greatest weakness. I had already heard, before starting to watch, that there were multiple timelines, but I think even a viewer who was unaware of this would pick it up fairly fast. There are hints in the first episode - Stregobor tells Geralt about locking women born during the eclipse in towers quite recently, and then Mousesack tells Ciri about it as something that happened a long time ago; Renfri mentions Calanthe winning her first battle, and then we meet Calanthe as an old woman and seasoned warrior. But by episode three, in which Geralt is cleaning up a mess for an adult king whom Yennefer meets as a child, the scheme is fairly obvious - Yennefer’s timeline is earliest, Ciri’s is latest, and Geralt is straddling the two. What this means is that for the first half of the season, the viewer is working overtime trying to slot the various timelines together, figure out what’s happening before and after what, and how the various events influence each other. It’s fun! But it also means that a lot of air comes out of the show at the end of episode 4, when that task is concluded and we get the answers to most of our questions. At that point, the whole thing becomes an exercise in delayed gratification - how long can we tease Geralt and Ciri’s meeting before it actually happens? It makes you wonder whether this is yet another fantasy story where the background details are infinitely more interesting than the present storyline.

An additional issue is that the show is weirdly stingy with details exactly where you need them the most. Geralt and Yennefer first meet in episode 5, and by the time they meet again in episode 6 their entire relationship has been and gone and they’re now bitter exes. Especially when you consider that episode 5 is the weakest in the season, this means that all the heavy lifting of convincing us of this relationship is being done by the actors, not the script. By the same token, the show parachutes Fringilla in as a major villain towards the end of the season, instead of taking the time in earlier episodes to establish her personality, not to mention Yennefer’s relationship with her. I imagine some of that will be filled in later on, but for the moment it feels like we’re being asked to take a lot on faith, and as if a lot of season’s storyline is driven by informed traits - Geralt and Yennefer are going to circle each other till they die; Fringilla is a deeply scary villain - rather than actually establishing them in the narrative.

There are a lot of problems with Yennefer’s story. I mean A LOT. I don’t think there’s a single box in the “evil female character” checklist she doesn’t tick. Obsessed with her looks! Driven to extremes by her ugliness! Breaks the heart of a sweet boy! Power-mad! Baby-crazy! Not to mention that the show rarely misses a chance to show us her tits. I’m not going to make excuses for any of this. But I will say that I found it refreshing that the ultimate conclusion of all this was not to decry Yennefer as a villain, but to make her into a selfish asshole who can, and does, learn better. In a season that opens with Geralt putting down another lover whose (justified) anger makes her monstrous, it’s easy to anticipate the same ending for Yennefer. But she never actually crosses that line. The worst thing she does is break Istredd’s heart (well, depending on how seriously you want to take the implication that the orgy in episode 5 was non-consensual, I guess). And otherwise the person she hurts most is herself, and when push comes to shove she does try to help people. Her journey over the course of the season is to the realization that power hasn’t made her happy, and that - despite realizing just how flawed and manipulative the systems of power in her world are - she needs something to believe in and to stand for. That’s not a character arc that women tend to get, and it’s cool to see it here, for all the other problems I have with it.

Having said this, Yennefer’s styling, post-beautification-spell, is simply ridiculous. There’s a difference between “this woman is fashion-forward” and “this woman’s hair, makeup, and clothing are all from a different century than all the other characters”. Why is her hair down all the time? Where did she get a curling iron? Who is laser-cutting all her over-dresses? It never failed to take me out of the show.

Speaking of which, “Toss a Coin to the Witcher”, and indeed all of Jaskier’s songs, sound exactly like 21st century folk-rock. Say what you will about Game of Thrones, but they at least had plausibly old-fashioned-sounding songs.

Also on the topic of Jaskier, I can’t make his period of acquaintance with Geralt last less than fifteen years, and it’s probably closer to twenty. There’s hints of this - Yennefer teases him about getting crow’s feet in episode 6, and his conversation with Geralt in the same episode reads very much like a man who sees middle age barreling down on him and is starting to think seriously about changing his life in anticipation of that. But the choice to style him basically the same throughout the season is really distracting, especially when, post-episode-4, you’ve already firmly established that Geralt’s story spans the better part of a century. Making it clear that people around him are getting older while he stays basically the same could have been a fun device, and it’s weird to me that the show avoids it.

I caught a couple of fairy tale references - Renfri being taken out to the woods to be murdered by Stregobor’s man is from Snow White, obviously, and Pavetta and Duny’s story is a cross between Beauty and Beast and Hans My Hedgehog. Now I’m wondering if there are others that I’ve missed.

It’s a bit weird to me, how positively Tissaia is depicted towards the end of the season. This is a woman who turned her less-successful pupils into eels to power her magical fortress. It’s OK to conclude that she’s not a good person even if, when push comes to shove, she’s on the right side of things. Not to mention how thoroughly she screws up with Yennefer. That girl desperately needed someone to love her, and instead Tissaia gave her the same disdain she got from everyone else. The fact that Yennefer was never loyal to the mages is on her, so it’s weird how, towards the end of the season, she and Yennefer are suddenly so chummy and even mother-daughter-ish.

The law of surprise is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I know “destiny” is a big deal throughout the season, but it might have worked better if the show had approached it with a slightly lighter touch, and maybe not brought the law of surprise back so many times.

It’s really hard to write about this show, because autocorrect keeps making it about Gerald, Jennifer, and Siri.

[sieben9]

“last rites” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

::sigh:: God, what a mess.

No, not you.

::even longer sigh::

So, uh… I didn’t like this episode. Shocking, I know. I still have things to say about it, though, so if you want to read them, please read under the cut.

…

::the Longest sigh::

Honestly, did anyone come out of that episode happier than they were before? ‘cause I certainly didn’t…

I’d hear the argument that this is the bleak moment before the triumphant finale, but this Underworld-arc seems pretty much over.

the one (and possibly only) thing i will give zelena credit for.

I mean, it seems fitting that if you go down to the Underworld, bad things will happen, just as it seems fitting that you’d escape with your life and not much more. Not exactly a happy conclusion, but a thematically appropriate one. That the Underworld follows you back home and starts messing things up in the land of the living is just a dose of good, old-fashioned “Nice Job Breaking It Hero”, and I don’t mind that, either. But now, the villain is defeated, the damsel is out of distress (meaning Hook), and the newly dead are buried.

leaving behind an orphaned four-year-old and a literal baby. damn, show, just… damn.

Oh, but Robin isn’t “just” dead (because we have now established that being dead means nothing in this world), no, he’s been obliterated from existence. And for what? What was the narrative justification for killing him off? So that his daughter could have his name? Look, the guy may not have been the most dynamic character or most interesting love interest in the world, but he sure as hell didn’t deserve that.

Poor Regina. Poor Roland. In my ideal world, this ends with Regina adopting the little hobbit, but I don’t really see that happening. (If it does happen, that’s a spoiler I wouldn’t mind hearing, actually. I need happy news after this… mess.)

Observant readers will have noticed that I never cared all that much about Outlaw Queen, but I retroactively feel bad for all the people who were really invested. That was one hell of a brutal shipwreck.

While we’re on the subject, I will have to call shenanigans on the Other Novelty Dildo (first one being that glove Rumple brought back from Camelot)

so many jokes, so little time…

Look, I don’t actually mind the magical MacGuffins that crop up all over the place. But would it kill you to introduce them slightly earlier? Like, just as a rule: if you want to use a MacGuffin to solve a problem in episode 20, you have to introduce it in episode 17 at the latest. Now, if you want to use a MacGuffin to create a problem, maybe you don’t need that much advance warning. Though even that works better at the beginning of an arc than at its end.

And magic bullet aside… I get why Zelena killing Hades had more of an emotional impact. And I get why Regina had to be involved—she’s the only one Zelena would actually do this for. Regina worked all this half-season to forge a bond with her sister, and this is where that pays off.

What I don’t get is why Emma wasn’t involved even a little. No, seriously, go back and check. All she does is lure Hades and Zelena away for about ten seconds, so that Regina and Robin can get into the office to get the then-nameless baby back. And that was in no way integral to Hades’s defeat. So, basically, the person who kicked off the events that led to Hades being a threat in the first place had no part in getting rid of him. Well-bloody-done, show. That’s how you protagonist!

So… yeah. Kind of a disappointing villain-defeat. Although I have to say that the acting in that scene was on point. I mean…

My sincere respect for everyone in front of the camera, here, and especially Lana Parilla and Rebecca Mader. They really acted their hearts out here. I mean… you can see how much she wants to just kill Regina and that nagging voice inside her that says she’s doing the wrong thing, and then you see her change her mind. And then the dialogue tells you what just happened, but you can still see each distinct emotion on her face. ::sigh:: Dear Rebecca Mader, why couldn’t you be a character I liked?

Oh, and of course Rumple has the death-dildo now. Or at least a piece of it. Are we… are we doing this “Rumple as the backup badguy” thing again? Really? Fourth time in a row? The man just wants to wake up his wife so they can make an appointment with Archie for some marriage counselling, he hasn’t got the time to be sinister!

then again, that’s less of an action and more of a lifestyle

Oh, and because I’m frustrated and needed a break… have a gif.

I’m sure there was absolutely no other way to get that thing out of the pulverised Hades-remains. None at all. (I’m also amused that they apparently left the godly dustpile just sitting there for at least a full day. Nobody decided to come over with a dustpan? Really?)

Speaking of Rumple and his current troubles…

Moe French, I will beat you to death with the spikiest cactus I can find, and I will laugh while I do it. I think between nearly killing/personality-wiping his daughter because he didn’t approve of her choice in boyfriend and leaving her in a sleep of eternal torment, because he doesn’t like her husband, this asshole bumped himself all the way up to first place on the “shitty parents” list, which is quite an accomplishment. (To be honest, all the serious contenders for first place are equally shitty, Moe is just the most recent offender, so I’m most angry at him.)

My only consolation is that Moe’s kiss would never have worked in the first place, so while his decision is still deplorable, at least it’s not an actual complication. Shame Emma had to burst in so early, though.

Which brings up another point about Emma and responsibility that I’ll saying a bit more on later, but for this scene, just a quick aside: I don’t think Rumple was exactly right—not all of this mess was Emma’s fault. That he had to go to the Underworld? Sure, that’s 100% on her, but frankly, I’m not willing to absolve Hades and assorted assholes from blame here.

So, no, this mess isn’t Emma’s fault alone. But it is her responsibility. She started this mess, she’d better end it. By the way, guess what she didn’t do? (See above for that.)

::long sigh::

OK, let’s deal with the elephant in the room, namely, the almost-literal Deus Ex Machina.

Who though this was a good idea? Seriously, even if they did write themselves into a corner, this was possibly the worst way to do it. The method was bad, the explanation was bad, and the making out next to the coffin of the man who actually helped kill Hades was the worst.

And Hook didn’t help defeat Hades! Hook didn’t do anything except give Emma the hint about the crystal, and Emma didn’t help! I know I’m harping on this, but the longer I keep pulling on that thread, the more this episode unravels. It’s morbidly fascinating, really.

I discussed the main points on the graveyard-makout-session in the liveblog-post already, but to sum up: there’s a version of this scene that both shows Emma’s and Hook’s relief to be alive and together again without appearing entirely disrespectful to Robin’s memory, but this wasn’t it. This was about as tasteless as it could get without them boinking right there next to the coffin.

(My suggestion: let them go home before they take the train to make-out-town. Bam. Problem solved. They can have a really heartfelt hug on the graveyard; honestly, I feel like a hug would have been more emotionally honest, in any case, but what do I know, right?)

This kind of soured me on Emma as a character, too. I liked her better when she had to face actual consequences and took responsibility for her fuck-ups. And no, whining about how “this is all my fault”, only to get consoled by other characters is not the same as taking responsibility. That’s wallowing in self-pity, and it’s not a very attractive quality. (It’s also a cheap trick to tell the audience “see, the good people don’t think she did anything wrong, and so should you!”)

Oh, and just to close this out…

Yeah, this guy gets to be king of the Underworld now. Grrreat. We all still remember that he was a pretty shitty king while alive, right? That’s not just me? Then again, he’s got all eternity to figure out this gig, so who knows. Maybe he won’t be terrible in a millennium or so. (He’ll still be a douche, though. The douchiness is part of his molecular makeup, there’s really nothing to be done there.)

On a somewhat lighter note: Hook, my guy, we have to talk. You were in a position to, as I like to call it, “pull a Kelsier”, i.e. punch a god in the face. The rules declare that whenever you are in a position to pull a Kelsier, you are basically obligated do so. That fact that you didn’t is… look, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

(In an attempt not to be too obnoxious about it: Kelsier is a character from a completely different fandom who did, in fact, punch at least two gods in the face. They kind of deserved it, too, even if Kelsier really had no moral high ground to stand on.)

And, while I’m on slightly lighter things:

Cruella’s face when she saw Arthur and Hook. I was wrong: someone definitely came out of this episode happier than they were before ::eyebrow waggle::

I have honestly no idea where the last two episodes are going to go, because… there’s really not much setup. Rumple still has a comatose Belle in a box, and she’s probably not getting out of there this season (because that’s not how babies work), so… what exactly is he planning?

I mean, I’ll find out, but I’d appreciate some hints, show!

[hope-for-olicity]

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - May 25th, 2018

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. Thank you so so much for your fics they really do help with pain.

Above All Else multi-chapter WIP by shesimperfect_butshetries - A different take on episode 6x14: Rene shoots but Oliver jumps in front of Felicity. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101470/chapters/32490537

Pieces of Always multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356

You Will Be Found multi-chapter WIP by @shannyfishwriter - Picks up from where the season five finale (5x23 - Lian Yu) leaves off. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11004735/chapters/24515847

The Queen's Mage multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Words have power, and mages, those with the aptitude to draw on that power, are few in number. Thus, their services are highly sought after by anyone who has exhausted all mundane means of solving whatever problem is plaguing them. Felicity is reminded of this fact the hard way when she is hired by Moira Queen, the Lady Starling, to find and return to her her son Oliver, who fled his family home five years ago following the death of his father. With a threat hanging over her should she return without Robert Queen's heir, Felicity begins her search. When she finds Oliver, and ends up joining his vigilante crusade while she waits for him to decide whether to return home, the last thing she expects to do is fall in love with him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617068/chapters/33781269

The Distance Between Two Hearts multi-chapter WIP by @geneshaven - A glimpse at Oliver's life in prison. Part 1 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/174030871444/the-distance-between-two-hearts Part 2 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/174078115519/the-distance-between-two-hearts Part 3 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/174163250554/the-distance-between-two-hearts

You Left Me by HopeShannon3000 - Oliver is back from Prison but doesn't get the warm welcome he expected from Felicity. First they clean the air before she'll welcome him back. Felicity is anger Oliver didn't tell her about the deal. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699445

Family by AmberlonDeathstroke (ThereCanBeNoRedemptionWithoutBlood) - Fix-It: A force to be reckoned with decides that under no circumstances is Oliver Queen going to spend a second in jail... https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699547

"Don't cry, baby" by @dust2dust34 - Post S6 where nothing bad happened http://dust2dust34.tumblr.com/post/174032231999/i-would-love-to-see-no-20-please

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Felicity Who Has Been Lied To by @mellowyellowdiamonds - Oliver finishes his time in Supermax and comes home to make some alarming discoveries about Felicity and William https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700621

Untitled by @smoaking-greenarrow - Prompt: Fic on Olicity's height difference http://smoaking-greenarrow.tumblr.com/post/174036280229/hey-this-is-pretty-vague-but-could-you-possibly

Time for a Story multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. http://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

Untitled by @smoaking-greenarrow - Prompt: Prompt: Let's pretend that Oliver's birthday fell between 6x21 and 6x22 and he got to celebrate it with his wife and son. http://smoaking-greenarrow.tumblr.com/post/174050603159/prompt-lets-pretend-that-olivers-birthday-fell

Periods, Timelines and Exclamation Points multi-chapter WIP by Izzyface - Felicity Smoak has a PLAN for her life. At 25, she is the youngest Director of IT in the history of Queen Consolidated and on track to be the next VP of Technology for the Fortune 250 company. But that’s before everything in her life starts to go haywire. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14062422/chapters/32395548

The Arrows of War by Takianna - For the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon Week #4 prompt "at odds." This is a just a short fluffy piece about Felicity and Oliver being at odds over something that should come rather easily for one of them, but it doesn't seem to be all that easy. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249046

Present Tense multi-chapter complete by @punchdrunkdoc - The Oliver Queen of the season 4 premiere was lighter, happier and more at peace than we’ve ever seen him. What happened in those 5 months away to get him to that point? And who helped him? https://archiveofourown.org/works/5454581/chapters/12609368

Curious Transformations multi-chapter WIP by CharlotteCordelier - From the Department of I-didn't-think-this-all-the-way-through, a season 2 AU. Felicity comes to in a train station, missing some time. And that's only the beginning of the weirdness. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14161659/chapters/32641764

Elizabeth Grace Smoak multi-chapter WIP by @lynn8828 - What if Felicity and Oliver briefly had met before he got on the Gambit? Despite her best efforts, Felicity was unable to get in contact with the famous Oliver Queen after having a one night stand with him and getting pregnant with his child. After raising their child for five years after finding out that Oliver died on the Gambit, she finds out he is alive and knows that she needs to tell him about their daughter. But will he believe her? AMAZING STORY!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/13639371/chapters/31322715

Oliver the Copy Guy multi-chapter WIP by @someonesaidcake - She may have fantasized about the copy guy with the hot arms, but she hadn't expected him to actually say yes... https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580006/chapters/33692385

Following the Lead of the Setting Sun multi-chapter WIP by @adiwriting - When Oliver agrees to a life in prison, it lights a match to the entire Queen family’s world. How can Oliver be a good husband and father, while he’s in prison and fighting for his life? https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715020/chapters/34008707

Reunited and It Feels So... by @dmichellewrites - Oliver is released from prison, and his reunion with Felicity isn't all sex, love, and butterflies. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717420

Consequences by TimeforAstory - My take on what could happen in season 7. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717931

Tempest multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Three years ago, tragedy struck Julianna Queen’s life. Now, she wears a mask and fights at her father’s side, looking for closure and justice as she tries to find a path to move forward with her life while holding on to her past. But that may a bit more complicated than she thinks… http://archiveofourown.org/works/13309731/chapters/30461850

Of Love and Transformation by @juliesioux - I wrote this really quickly after S06E23. I started thinking about the anger Felicity must be feeling about the way Oliver's decisions have once again tore her world apart. The show might never give us her POV on this so I needed to write it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14721246

Old Habits Die Hard by Crazyreader2468 - One-shot (for now) of the first twenty-four hours following Oliver's revelation and arrest at end of Episode 6 x 23. Felicity's thoughts as she takes care of William and tries to figure out her reactions to Oliver's latest actions without consulting her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14720291

Damn It, Why Won't the Eagle Just Land Already? multi-chapter WIP by @smewhereelse - President John Diggle would really appreciate it if everyone would stop gossiping about his security detail and his science advisor and get back to work. He’d appreciate it even more if his best friends would pull their heads out of their asses and get together already. A White House romantic comedy AU. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13132602/chapters/30040788

7 Months by HopeShannon3000 - When Oliver comes home Felicity gives him a piece of her mind. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725235

Bound to You multi-chapter WIP by @bindy417 - Felicity is an ARGUS agent and Oliver with the Bratva but they met long before that! This story gives the past and the present. SO AWESOME.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/6602668/chapters/15105862

Later by @beemichelle7 - Felicity hears of a prison escape https://beemichelle7.tumblr.com/post/174101707084/later

Sometimes It Rains multi-chapter WIP by Izzyface and @missyriver - Life happens fast. But we live through it slow. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726736/chapters/34039875

The Old-Fashioned Way multi-chapter complete by @primpim -Felicity always wanted a family. Tired of waiting for Mr. Right, she decides to take matters into her own hands. She has a steady job, savings, a good support system and, after all, who needs a man in this day and age? Thirty, single and quite happy to be, Oliver isn't looking to settle down and hasn't really even entertained the idea of having kids. But when Felicity starts looking for a potential biological father, he doesn't hesitate. Purely because he doesn't want someone to take advantage of her... or so he tells himself. From awkward starts to the wonder of creating new life, it will soon become obvious that getting pregnant isn't just about expecting a baby: it's also about facing feelings that had been buried for years. And in the end, Felicity might realize that what she's been looking for has been right under her nose from the start...and Oliver will quickly understand that when it comes Felicity and their unborn child, he wants much more than what they had originally agreed to. PLEASE NOTE: The author is taking this story of AO3 soon download to keep reading. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961009/chapters/27046173

Re-airrowing 1x19 by @lostolicityscenes - The Count is back and he’s crazy! We get a Diggle/Carly and later on a Dyla scene which spoiler alert will crop up in my next post! This one is short and sweet, but when I wrote the original scene of Oliver outside, I had this scene as a bookend in mind. So, it’s nice to be able to finally write this scene that’s been in my head canon all this time. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/174153310406/re-airrow-episode-1x19-an-the-count-is-back

Opening His Eyes to the Light by @originalhybridloverfics - When Oliver learns Felicity was injured in the aftermath of the Undertaking it forced him to be honest with how he felt about her and just what he was going to do about it. [Post Season One Finale] https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735366

Real Love (Is Never a Waste of Time) multi-chapter WIP by @callistawolf - Oliver and Felicity are CEOs who are more partners than they are rivals, but they still bicker whenever they meet up. Constantly pestered by their families and board members, they turn to each other for a simple solution. But marriage is never simple, especially when these two are involved. When Oliver's younger sister decides to hold her much-anticipated wedding on a tropical island and insists her brother and his wife attend, will the island paradise prove to be the tipping point in their carefully balanced relationship? https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604955/chapters/3123360

Olicity: Hold Out Hope by @yespleasehawkeyee - Felicity meets Oliver at gala and starts to fall in love with him. Someone close to Felicity cautions her about Oliver but she ignores them. As she continues to date Oliver, Felicity finds out some how that she lost her memory three years ago. Turns out, she had been engaged to Oliver.  http://yespleasehawkeyee.tumblr.com/post/150647479756/olicity-hold-out-hope

Broken Love multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Felicity and Oliver try to adjust to their new normal, but with Oliver in jail and Felicity in protective custody, neither are coping well with the distance. Oliver receives an offer from Agent Watson and Felicity takes matters into her own hands. (6.5 fic) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717075/chapters/34014233

My Own Scars by GameofOlicity - Prompt: Felicity ends up injured during a mission but doesn’t want to call Oliver because he’s home with William. However someone on the team calls him anyway, because doesn’t want Oliver to be mad at them for not telling him. Oliver of course shows up at the bunker soon after. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14746787

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 //

[thejollyshiner]

11 Questions pt. 1

@iwritebetterthanispeak thanks for sending these questions, but since its a bit longer than expected, I will separate it into two separate parts.

What’s one thing you wish you could go back and change?

To go into college with a better clear goal of what to major in and an idea of a job I wish to achieve with my degree once out of college. I’m constantly still stumbling along the way only to get back up and figure out more about myself along the way of my own future endeavors I wish to pursue. I’m embarrassed but I’m not the college student who will leave after 4 years at this point I’m five years in with a major and minor under my belt but going back into college to finish a minor and pursue another degree with the basic understanding of how my first degree won’t get me a great day job but a great side hustle.

2.  If there was one movie/show/book/etc that you could delete, what would it be?

I really really hate Sword Art Online and still amazes me when people say they genuinely like the series. If this series disappeared I really don’t think it would be that big of an impact of our current cultural mindscape of the genres it represents and anime. 

This show completely frustrates me in how the show itself has an interesting idea to play with but fails in how horribly average the show is to a massive degree in anime. Where it seems the only type of woman that Kawahara can write are ones that somehow all very similar between each other who need to be saved, objectified, and all somehow fall in love with Kirito within the span of an episode. So congrats Kawahara for having incest, but I’m not surprised at this point. Asuna is a unique case in how she had a pretty strong arc in the first series only for it to come all crashing down in season two. Where Asuna is trapped in a literal cage being some disgusting guys pet, while this whole premise is some egomaniacs power fantasy which is a great summary of the series. Being a Power Fantasy of some disgusting boys fantasy. One can not imagine my rage when knowing this show had rape or implied rape within the show of the main female lead who is trapped in a cage to just be fanservice of the show and being the target of tentacle porn. Or how often women within the show are shown so often in a negative light.

3. What was the last video you saw that made you laugh?

The theme of E3

4. What was the last book/fic you read that made you cry?

This one I have no idea. The only time I honestly cry is when I’m frustrated, mad, or happy. When thinking over the past week or month of what I have been reading, it has been very little to point where now I’m simply transitioning to audible books. But, the one fic I have been reading on and off for about two weeks to catch up with it’s the latest chapter is a fic by @nohaijiachi . 

The fic is called A Beacon in the Dark -  Boku no Hero Acedemia - My Hero Acdemia 

The Main Ship: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto

Summary:

“My thanks.” He says, smiling back. “What is your name, boy?”

“I’m Izuku! Izuku Midoriya, sir!” The boy replies, excited, looking up at him. And Toshinori looks into the unmoving washed out green, into milky white pupils visible behind the mess curly hair, and realizes.

The boy is blind.

The boy that he distinctly saw dodge a series of fairly quick attacks, light on his feet and clearly used to some kind of training, the boy that had thrown him the bottle at the perfect height and perfect speed, the boy that has easily collected his spilled groceries and orderly put them back into the little plastic bag—

The boy. Is blind.

The moment I cried had nothing to with nothing angsty, I normally love reading angsty fics as long as they are equally balanced with lighter stuff that doesn’t contribute to an overall negative atmosphere. But, the moment I did cry was when one of my dorkish boys in the fic said “I love you.” in this ridiculous fic, that I absolutely love and recommend. Where the author has such a great handle on the characters and their personalities. It’s such a unique premise and where the story is heading is very interesting in not being such a simple retread of events.

5. What’s your favorite way to waste time?

Depends on location, if I’m in my hometown I’m most likely hanging out with siblings as we play Mario Kart or we sit around the living room as we watch something together as we talk with each other about whatever. Its really fun trust me as we lay all over each other relaxing. Another fun way I like to waste time in my hometown is by playing Breath of the Wild the game honestly hits all the right spots for me. Of being challenging, always needing to figure out where to find my next weapons or arrows, climbing exploring the places I haven’t been to or couldn’t get to as before. I’m still discovering more shrines, puzzles, great fairies, and outfits along the way. 

When I’m back in my apartment away from my hometown I’m not too sure what I do to waste time probably going on this hellsite or doing something I guess? *shrug* I’m not too sure, whenever I’m back at my apartment I can’t waste time or there are dumb consequences that I would rather not find myself in. So, I try to stay active all the time doing something. 

6. What is something that is popular now that annoys you?

sword art online, enough said. I’m being super lazy but that was somewhat already answered in 2.

[keita52]

In Which Keita Rants About Bad Portrayals of Lab Etiquette, Part 1

Part 1 might be overly ambitious, but we’ll see.

The Spectre Requisitions discord made the mistake of actually expressing interest in my knowledge of lab etiquette, and after I ranted a bit I decided I’d screencap a particular episode of a crime procedural that stands out to me as THIS IS ALL WRONG.

Normally when I watch police procedurals and their ilk I let certain things slide as TV science --time it takes to complete tests/protocols, single sample instead of multiple samples. I also let clothing slide -- long hair not bound back, heels instead of a different type of shoe that covers your entire foot, skirts instead of pants, lab coat not actually closed but just worn like a fashion accessory (I’m looking at you, Body of Proof -- you’re an above average show but Megan shows ABYSMAL decision-making skills when it comes to what she wears.) 

However, there is ONE scene in particular in an episode of NCIS that literally had me shrieking out loud when I watched it. Thanks to having ranted on Facebook about it and Netflix keeping track of my watch history, I was able to find the episode again.

I present a shot-by-shot dissection of Why Abby Needs To Be Fired From Her Job And Barred From Working In A Lab Ever Again. Evidence taken from S1E12, “My Other Left Foot”.

Okay. First of all, you don’t carry a pipette like this. Ideally, pipetting is done from containers that are, if not adjacent, VERY close to one another. She’s compounding the error by risking contamination. See the areas I’ve highlighted there? Her thumb is about to press down and eject her sample. Alternately, the point of that tip is going to bump into the machine (more on that later) and render whatever she has in there completely useless.

Remember what I said about pipetting from one container to another? You definitely DO NOT pipette inside the machine that’s going to run your samples! (I have no idea what this is supposed to be, by the way.)

Next: Pipettes are specifically designed to allow you to measure out EXACT amounts, we’re talking microliters. Based on the pipette rack (shown below), Abby is using a P1000, which allows you to measure between 20 and 1000 microliters; 1000 microliters is one mililiter. Abby is about to walk away not having deposited her entire sample, which defeats the whole purpose of using a pipette to measure. See, part of science is controlling as many variables as possible. For something like this, you’d want to be sure that your control sample and your experimental samples are exactly the same. That means size. That means using everything measured out.

See that gel? We’ll get back to it in a minute.

Right now the thing to highlight is that she put the pipette back on its stand with the tip still on. 

Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that.

Here we see Abby typing at her computer with her gloves still on. This is another “Don’t ever do that” scenario. Gloves exist to prevent contamination. You wear gloves so that your skin cells don’t get on your samples and your samples don’t get on your skin. You take off your gloves when you are done handling something that requires these precautions. You DEFINITELY don’t sit down at your computer (right next to your pipette stand) and type while the gloves are still on. You might be getting something on your keyboard that really shouldn’t be there.

And here we have a result (an instantaneous one) that Abby is anxious to try and match to her control.

These are images of gels. You get a gel by using a piece of equipment that looks like this:

(Source: Wikimedia Commons)

The idea is that you have a control sample in a column of your choosing (typically far left for consistency) that contains samples of proteins/RNA/DNA sequences that are an exact size. During electrophoresis (which is what this process is called), the smaller/lighter weight samples migrate towards the bottom of their column, while the larger ones do not migrate as far.

You load gels by, again, using your pipette to measure out a precise amount and placing it in one of the lanes. Since this process takes time (an hour at minimum), you want to be running multiple samples at once. 

Needless to say, Abby’s whatever-it-was machine is not an electrophoresis setup.

Look, I left my lab job in 2011 so I’m not up to date on the latest PCR techniques, but this episode aired in 2003 and this pop up makes zero sense.

Additional evidence for firing Abby immediately can be found here (located while attempting to figure out what episode had made me cringe, before I realized that Netflix did in fact archive my history by date).

[aspiestvmusings]

SCORPION S4: STORK PLOT THOUGHTS (MASTER POST)

Here are some new, additional thoughts about the Quintis Baby (STORK) plot. Things that can now be added to the old thoughts. (there are still things that cannot be added to these posts, but will...later. And things I still haven’t fully figured out...hence need more clues to figure out before adding to the post)

You can check out my QUINTIS BABY PLOT MASTER POST & ALL THOUGHTS RELATED TO THE TOPIC 

Here is a list of scenes/moments/things from past episodes that might or might not be foreshadowing for the Quintis baby plot

4x04 Airman’s daughter’s photo 

The airman’s daughter had a circulation issue, when she was born. The baby had to have surgery to fix the issue. 

Possible foreshadowing 1: Quintis baby being a girl 

Possible foreshadowing 2: The baby being born with some kind of health issue & needing extra care (preemie, medical condition)...but surviving it all,  and turning out “healthy” after “treatment”. 

4x04 “Death omelette” 

Happy & her eggs demonstration... (Happy’s got eggs on her mind) Why would she use eggs for this demonstration? (a little too convenient, though demonstrates the situation with the case...so well)

Possible foreshadowing 1: Possible reference to simply her wish for a baby and hence doing the demonstration with eggs OR something more...like some problem with her eggs or something similar (”problem” with her “eggs”, fertility issues, complications during pregnancy) 

4x03 Jane Doe, the deer & her baby 

A spotted munt deer (named “Jane Doe” by Sly), who is shot by poachers, is pregnant, and Team Scorpion saves both the animal mom & baby (girl). Toby, the doc delivers the baby deer by a C-section (Happy cuts the umbilical cord), and they create an artificial womb for the animal baby to survive until she can be taken to a “hospital”. Both animals make it to the vet/hospital and survive.

Possible foreshadowing 1: The Quintis baby being a girl 

Possible foreshadowing 2: The Quintis baby being born as a preemie (having to have an emergency C-section at ?-weeks) and having to spend some time in NICU/ICN. #Iwillwritemoreaboutthisoptioninthefuture #iftherewillbeapregnancyplotinsteadofadoptionplot

Possible foreshadowing 3: The Quintis baby delivered by Toby (the team), during a mission

Possible foreshadowing 4: The Quintis baby being born via an emergency C-section. (extreme version: delivered by Toby..not in a hospital)

3x25 Toby & Scotty: fathers & children talks

Scotty: “You know... It’s just that...my baby must’ve been born by now. Not being there for him or her - like my father wasn’t there for me - is something I swore I’d never let happen to my child. I just want to feel useful to someone.”

This parallels to Toby’s own life story - his childhood & his son/dad relationship with his own father. As learned in 1x12 & his own personality and wishes...as learned in 2x19. Scotty’s & Toby’s stories & “wishes” are similar. 

Possible foreshadowing 1: The Quintis baby being a girl

Possible foreshadowing 2: Toby (almost) not making it to the birth of his child (Collins? Bruno?...either cause someone “kidnaps” Happy & they find her last minute or because someone/something is holding up him...)

Possible foreshadowing 3: The Toby & Scotty talks about his child (when Toby reveals that he noticed the pregnancy book, the photo & the weightgain, and the nailbiting) & about wanting to be the kind of father who wants to be there for their kid... were foreshadowing of Toby becoming a dad...soon(ish)

Possible foreshadowing 4: Toby wanting to be there for his kid...not be like his own father was (”absent”). Be there for the birth, and all other times... Whether he gets to...or not... be there for the birth.

3x24 Toby & Scotty: pregnancy talks

Toby: In reality... there’s a really good chance you’re gonna be home to see your baby be born.

Scotty:  I didn’t tell you (that) my wife was expecting.

Toby: Well... you’ve got 9 perfectly manicured fingernails, except for your left thumb, which has been bitten to the quick - clearly from stress. And that photo on your pilot’s licence...its less than a year old -- (yet) you look 20 pounds lighter on it...and I know... men often gain weight when their spouses are pregnant. It’s called the “Couvade effect” -- But mainly..you’ve got that book in your pilot’s bag there.” (book title: “What to expect when you’re expecting”

Scotty: You saw that, huh? You know... my wife is due in 3 weeks. I don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.

Paige:  Scorpion doesn’t fail. You will be in that delivery room. (SPOILER ALERT: Sounds like he wasn’t...but he made it there just after the birth)

Possible foreshadowing 1: The Quintis baby being a girl

Possible foreshadowing 2: Toby (almost) not making it to the birth of his child (Collins? Bruno?...either cause someone “kidnaps” Happy & they find her last minute or because someone/something is holding up him... making him be late or almost miss the birth of their child)

Possible foreshadowing 3: The Toby & Scotty talks about his child (when Toby reveals that he noticed the pregnancy book, the photo & the weightgain, and the nailbiting) & about wanting to be the kind of father who wants to be there for their kid... were foreshadowing of Toby becoming a dad...soon(ish)

Possible foreshadowing 4: Toby wanting to be there for his kid...not be like his own father was (”absent”). Be there for the birth, and all other times...

3x04 - 3x07 Quintis & Cd- baby 

In season 3... ep 3x04 Happy’s pregnancy (blood) test at the doctors is positive for pregnancy. She probably goes to the doctor, because she has pregnancy symptoms (missed period, morning sickness/nausea, etc)... Three weeks later in the Scorpion Universe, in 3x07 she goes to her next appointment and has new test, which is negative. Turns out the 1st test was a false positive, and it was because of Cadmium  poisoning that she had. 

An interesting parallel  in season 4 would be if Happy didn’t have any traditional pregnancy symptoms and hence think she is not pregnant (when she will be), and her home test showed negative (and since this is a TV show, they tust a single home pregnancy test... 100%... when in reality no1 should, especially if they’re geniuses, and especially if one of them is a genius doc) ... but then during a medical check-up (maybe even during a check-up they have to find out if there are any” fertility issues” with either of them)... a month or few later... she/they find out that she is pregnant, and was already pregnant during the “false negative” test. That would be a kind of a REVERSED version of last season, and parallel...in an opposite... way what happened last year.  (also..since the Cd-baby wasn’t really mentioned during the 4x03-4x04 talks, I hope to have it brought up...in some way...later during this “Quintis Baby” arc)

And since it is early  October in the shows universe in 4x04 & 4x05 (it’s around Oct 22nd in 4x05, so it’s 2-4 days earlier in 4x04), when they decide to start trying, then I fully expect them to have no positive results after the first try/month...in November (that’d provide also some angst for Nov sweeps...with Happy being not happy that it’s not happening...”now”...but this is TV, so unless they go with major fertlity issues or baby not born in s4, there’s not much room for options left here...), so that’d also give an opportunity for a Xmas ep reveal...and it’d make perfect sense to reveal the pregnancy in Xmas ep... so that’d be 2 months after they started trying. (I’m using broader terms here, not going into details about gestational age and everything else. I don’t expect any TV show to focus on such “details”)

Because unless the show will use extra timejumps, then a reveal after the Xmas ep makes it impossible for the baby to be born during S4. So... if we go from “pregnancy plot” & “baby born during s4″ (and not other options (adoption..due to “infertility”, baby born in s5) then the time is running out, and there aren’t many other options left. I’d say that we’ll know the answer (latest) when Xmas ep ends...either way. Cause if no reveal then, then it’s gonna be adoption or baby not born in s4. Or the show completely ignoring time issue (gestation period: 40 weeks) or using some serious time jumps during season 4B. I don’t expect the last option...though I do expect a bio kid/pregnancy plot with some “minor” timejumps during season 4B, and then between s4 & s5...

I mean... for me it’d go under “(a bit) hard to believe these geniuses would do this” category, but this is not anywhere near the level of unbelievable  what this show usually does (with cases/science). So I’d be willing to believe that the geniuses rely on some single  test or think no missed period means for sure that she isn’t pregnant...etc etc. But as I learned in S3... they relied on the results on a single test, and went from there. Why wouldn’t the show do that again...only in reverse? They’d now again believe a single test...and not question it...in any way.  Just like they did in S3.  The writers did it last year, why not this year? (it’d be even funnier, if that “test” was made by/done by the geniuses themselves... so it should be absolutely accurate...because Scorpion “always succeeds”) 

Foreshadowing 1: Quintis pregnancy issue - the Cd-poisoning...or some other case of exposure to certain toxins/materials, could be used as a “reason” for fertility issues. Either making it harder for them to conceive, or impossible to. 

Foreshadowing 2: A fake positive test VS  Fake negative test. The opportunity to do a reversed parallels story. 

2x10 Toby/Quintis delivering Baby Ashna 

During a lockdown in a hospital... Toby & Happy have to (help) deliver a baby, when a woman goes into labour, and there is no-one else to help. They have to put together their own supply of needed items (boil water, collect “blankets”...) ...using things available...not having access to modern medical technology...or even a bed... Everything goes as well as possible..in such situation, besides the umbilical cord being wrapped around the babies neck...which Toby “fixes” with “somersault technique” and a healthy baby girl is born.

Possible foreshadowing 1: The Quintis baby being a girl

Possible foreshadowing 2: The Quintis baby being born during a “major crisis” situation, with Toby/The Team having to deliver the baby...with no other help 

Possible foreshadowing 3: Toby delivering the Quintis baby 

Possible foreshadowing 4: Complications during the birth...that Toby/the docs have to overcome... (and will) 

HAPPY’S PAST: Happy’s birth & childhood. 

1x02, 1x07, 1x12, 2x13, 2x18... etc: We learn that Happy’s mother died in childbirth - during giving birth to her. (There is no indication or info about any prior health issues either before or during her pregnancy. And there is no info until now about what went “wrong” during the childbirth, and why did she die.) That leads to her dad having to raise her on his own, and not dealing well with his wife’s death, and raising a genius kid alone... which leads to drinking, and giving the baby up, when she’s about 3-years-old. This leads to Happy spending most of her childhood/youth in an orphanage/foster care system, and having serious psychological wounds related to... all ..this... that she’s only been dealing with & “healing from” in the past few years... 

2x13: We see a VHS video of Happy’s parents, being happy, when they were expecting the baby. Her dad being sure that the baby is a girl (turns out he was right)

Possible foreshadowing 1: The Quintis baby being a girl. Basically every baby being born or being mentioned on this show has been a girl, except the one in 2x13...(a boy, named after Ralph). #Pink #Itsagirl #Icanfeelitinmybones

Possible foreshadowing 2: The Quintis baby being named after Happy’s late mother, Grace (first name, middle name). Other options: Cabe’s (their “dad’s”)  daughter’s name - Amanda or Ada (for Happy’s only non-work friend outside of “TeamScorpion”)

Possible foreshadowing 3: Complications during childbirth - baby and/or mother being in danger (but unlike Grace, Happy, too survives, just like the baby)

EXTRA:  Toxins

In 3x04 Happy announces that she is pregnant (after she’s visited a doctor... because she had certain symptoms, and the blood test was positive for pregnancy...but before she’s revealed this she’s already taking steps to protect the baby & stay our of harm... by wearing protective mask/gear...to avoid toxins in the air, etc) & in 3x07 she announces that she is not pregnant. In fact she never was pregnant. The test was a false positive... and all her symptoms and the positive test were caused by Cadmium poisoning. (it’s unclear how exactly & in which capacity she was exposed to Cd... but its due to working on solar panels). 

Happy has been exposed to toxic gases/materials before, and after that: in 2x23 the team goes to Chernobyl, and is exposed to a certain level of radiation. In 3x05 she wears protective gear to protect her from the radiation during the case. In 4x01 she is exposed to toxic gas.. in the icy “cave”. In 4x04 she’s exposed to other toxic gases in the missile silo. 

In 4x04 she reveals that she is ready to have a child/baby. This is about a year after the Cd-poisoning. And just after two instances of exposure to toxins...

Random or not random? Who knows... But toxins/toxic gas (chemicals) have been a continuous theme in several eps.. And again recently... just as this new plot is starting... 

Possible foreshadowing 1: IF the show would decide to go the infertility route...and have it be medium or big issue, instead just a small one, then it is possible they could use the exposure to certain toxins and all that as a “reason” why they’re having trouble conceiving. (I can see a TV show doing a plot like that). If it’s written as “difficult, but not impossible to conceive” plot, then finding a solution to this would be just another problem TeamScorpion encounters. 

SO HERE WE ARE... 

I AM READY FOR A QUINTIS BABY! BIOLOGICAL OR ADOPTED. (NO, I DO NOT THINK IT’S TOO SOON. THOUGH THEY NEED TO START SAVING... & BE CREATIVE WITH THEIR FINANCES AND ALL - BUILD ALL THE BABY FURNITURE THEMSELVES, etc. AND NO, I DO NOT BELIEVE AT ALL THAT “BABIES RUIN TV SHOWS”. I WANT THESE GENIUSES, THROUGH THE WRITERS OF THIS SHOW, TO PROVE THIS TO THE DOUBTERS) 

i AM ROOTING FOR A PREGNANCY PLOT...BECAUSE WHILE I DO HOPE THEY’LL ADOPT IN THE FUTURE (WHEN THEIR FINANCES ARE BETTER), THEY REALLY “NEED” A LITTLE BIT OF HAPPINESS IN THEIR LIVES...AND THEY BOTH WANTED THE CD-BABY TO BE REAL LAST YEAR, SO DESPITE BEING SURE THE WRITERS WILL MAKE THIS BABY PLOT AS BUMPY RIDE AS POSSIBLE... I AM REALLY HOPING FOR A BIO BABY/PREGNANCY PLOT...WITH BABY BORN IN S4 FINALE.  

These thoughts were written without taking into account what happens in next episodes (in canon), just looking at the scenes already aired. And analyzing the possible options and meanings. Several other fans have made comments/posted about many of these “moments” & their possible meanings, including Ermanda 

Post created/Last update: Oct 23rd, 2017/Nov 11th

[rawinternets]

Star Wars Episode 8: a rediscovery

The latest Star Wars installation is all of 3 months old, so it’s hard to call it “a rediscovery,” but here we are. I watched Episode 8 again, and again I was disappointed, maybe even moreso the second time around. 

This movie has lots of good, even great, in it - although for everything it does well, it completely botches at least one other thing. To use the “cooking” analogy that went so well in my Ep1 review: it’s like there are half amazing ingredients, half just straight Crisco, and the instructions, steps, and timing are all off. Instead of a cake (or an Ep1 Jar Jar Shit Cake), you end up with a nasty soup with delicious chunks of gourmet chocolate swimming around in there. 

It’s sloppy, is what I’m trying to say. Not inspiring. It felt like a fairly hollow installation. The magic was gone.

One reason? Cut scenes. Every scene felt *too* fast-paced. Cut, cut, cut. I could barely keep up with my note-taking, and had to pause many times. I reviewed 68 scenes or set pieces in Ep8, far more than the rest: 

R1: 25 Ep4: 29 Ep5: 31 Ep1: 39 Ep2: 42 Ep3: 41 Ep6: 41 Ep7: 46 Ep8: 68

(Yes, there was an upward trend - maybe I just took more discrete notes as I went on - but still, Ep8 is a clear outlier).

This cut-scening gives a frantic pace and no time to emotionally settle into the storyline. It’s almost too much to process. The movie finally settles in when Rey is trying to learn from Luke, but for the majority of the film, we’re brutally bashed between scenes and set pieces such that we become numb. 

The other structural problem with this film is one which you can’t necessarily see in the histogram or the “journey” chart. This is my belief: the glittering veins of the film are the Jedi-Sith struggle, the blurring between the two... the genuine, moving, and perplexing connection between Kylo Ren and Rey. An orthogonalization (is that a word?) of the Jedi-Sith struggle into a young-old struggle (sounds kind of similar......... #trump). 

This is truly some inspired stuff. Some great scenes. many 9′s, a 10. But these veins of value are set in a truly worthless plot substrate. We have a horrifyingly re-treaded and cheesy and just generally infuriating attack on some ship called a “dreadnought,” and then we have a Battlestar Galactica simulacrum for the remainder of the film, a wretched and unnecessary and heavy-handed side-excursion to a cantina v3 (this time rich and black-tie, not a grungy bar!), we have Hux over-acting, and we have a god-awful Snoke, whose cancerous presence from Ep7 metastasized and was mercifully destroyed in Ep8 but not before causing lasting damage to the story arc.  We have so many moments of “this will never happen now... oh wait, it happened!” both on the good swing, and the bad. It’s as if in trying so hard to subvert the old tropes, the movie itself was simply an inverse image of the same old tropes. 

The other problem this movie has is that everyone... I mean pretty much everyone, except Kylo, Luke, and Rey, are mediocre at best. They’re caricatures of themselves, or someone/thing else. They have no depth and nuance. It’s extremely off-putting.

You can see I have a lot to say about this movie, which maybe is not surprising since it prompted me to undertake this entire exercise. Without further ado... 

Average score: 6.31 Standard deviation: 1.89

SCROLL. 6. Really lacking nuance. Everything is "heroic" vs "tyranny". And then... "But the Resistance is exposed!” How did they get exposed? I just don't get any of this. Why do they hope Luke will save them? This scroll is a total shit show. And it sets up another desperate escape from another rebel base... You know what? It seems like a bot got trained on all the other scrolls, and this is the output.

Rebel base discovered. 6.  Umm, intense walking and stilted dialogue and "oh no..." as the First Order arrives... mmm ok? This is at least a cool shot, where you can see the Star Destroyers from Earth.

Hux. 5. Dialogue is so bad. "I have orders from Supreme Leader Snoke himself... this is where we snuff out the Resistance once and for all." Incinerate Obliterate blah blah blah. Dreadnought.... meh. Burned out on superweapons.

Dreadnought and Poe’s Joke. 5.  Are we supposed to be afraid of another Mega-Star Destroyer after seeing so many destroyed by single ships in the past? And this is like a Death Star Lite with ground assault capabilities. I mean this just feels kind of uncreative and bland. Maybe a bit like Star Trek sorta showed up in Star Wars... REALLY bad cheesy joking with Poe. "Can you hear me now” joke? Your mother joke? Come on. Meh.

Attack the Dreadnought. 4.  Like I said... another single ship beats a huge ship... another “droid fixes shit in the middle of battle” shot... another hot shit pilot disobeys orders... and the worst part of all, Fuckin' gravity in space! If the bombers’ bombs are so dangerous, why do multiple bombers fly in such tight formation? Why not put them on oh, I dunno, missiles? Anyway, it's all down to one bomber... one person has to save everyone, of course. Of course the trigger falls below the deck but OH WAIT! she catches it with a backhand grab. Of course the bomb doors are open and she's not sucked out into space... Of course one bomber can take down the whole ship but they had like 10 at the beginning all tightly clumped. This is pure spectacle with no thinking at all. This is Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3. This is Michael Bay level shit, and not The Rock Michael Bay.

Snoke angry. 5. Snoke sucks. He can do Force shit that nobody else can to the extent that it’s diminishing, kind of like back to Eps 1-2 treatment of the Force. Slaps Hux from across the galaxy. OK. 

Finn wakes up. 5. Why was he in a coma again? Because he got back-sabered by Kylo on the Death Star 3? I guess. And he wakes up: “I’m sure you have a ton of questions...” “Where’s Rey?” Laying it on preeeeeettty thick here with the whole “hey, guys, this guy really cares about Rey!” unrequited love thing. (By the way, this unidimensional Finn shit will continue). 

Rey meets Luke. 8. ... and Luke throws the lightsaber over his shoulder. Some have criticized this for being a “try too hard to be different” moment but the first time I watched, I laughed genuinely and appreciatively, and the second time, I still liked it. What’s with this Rey hair of three-loop-ponytail? It’s trying too hard. Leia’s earbuns were truly singular. 

Porgs+Lightsaber. 8. I liked this near-Porg-death joke. And Rey sees the X-wing. OK. 

Chewy and Luke. 7. Luke starts putting it all together... but if he abandoned his family, the Jedi, and everyone else so many years ago, why does he care “Where’s Han?” Shouldn’t he be totally resigned to the inevitable decay and death of the universe and everything? 

Throne Room Snoke. 6. Meh. “We have them tied on a string.” Meh. Snoke is being a dick to Kylo. I am distinctly aware of Serkis overacting. Maybe Serkis Saturation is a thing... March of the Empire music is hokey here, rather than good. Snoke says "HOPE lives in the galaxy" Meh. The former evil empire wasn’t so like, blatantly and caricature-evil. “You're just a child in a mask.” Fine. Snoke sucks.

Kylo kills his mask. 8. Another “Reject Ep7″ moment, but I still liked it. Fits well with the character also. 

Rey and Luke. 7. "Within weeks, the First Order will control all the systems." "You think i'm going to walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order?" Three thoughts here: 1) yeah good point Luke, actually. 2) Wait, how does Luke even know what the First Order is? 3) Wait... this is the first of many “I’ll/we’ll never X” and then (spoiler) X happens later. Anyway, the island is beautiful. I don't know how I feel about the milking the weird animal. OK I guess? It's different at least. Flying across a pole to a cliff to stab a fish? It's OK. I guess this is a decent sequence.

The Jedi Tree. 8. Rey is called to the tree, Luke figures out she has force sensitivity (why didn't he sense it before? wasn't listening for it?) and she explains she feels the Force after he confronts her. I liked this scene fine. “It's time for the Jedi to end, i came to this island to die.” All good.

Leia on the ship. 6.  Cloaked binary beacon connecting Leia to Rey... mehhhhhh. Poe demoted - good, what an idiot. The Dreadnought thing was a disaster. Finn sucks here. Just not greatly acted. Probably not his fault - script problem. So overly focused on Rey. Now they need a new base for asking for help from outer rim.... wonder where we’ve heard this kind of thing before...

Snoke’s ship shows up. 5.  Snoke's ship is like 1,000x the volume of regular enormous Star Destroyers? Mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And Poe “permission to get into an X-wing and blow something up,” with Leia’s “permission granted”... meehhhhhh. and then Kylo Ren fucks up the entire hangar bay anyway. Just doesn’t feel right. And this is where the “poor man’s Battlestar Galactica” really starts to set in. 

Kylo attacks the cruiser. 6.  Another "one ship destroys the fuck out of an enormous ship"... but I liked the conflict in Kylo, can’t fire on his mother.

Keeping out of range of shields. 3.  It was at this point I realized there were a lot of cutscenes in this movie. Like we had been been cutting and cutting and cutting for the first 30 minutes. I wrote: “I can barely keep up. and what the fuck? a smaller, lighter ship in space can keep out of range? what kind of bullshit physics is this? SPACE! FRICTIONLESS!”

Leia survives. 3. I wrote: “ OH dear god. that was atrocious.”

Chewy and Porgs, Luke. 6.  "Nothing can make me change my mind." OH REALLY? I BET SOMETHING WILL! R2D2 Plays Leia’s old message to Obi Wan. Mind Changed! Luke: "Tomorrow at dawn. 3 lessons."

Battlestar Galactica Laura Linney. 5.  Back to trying to escape the Cylons. Akbar dies offscreen, all Resistance leaders are dead. Bridge dead. Laura Linney comes in as the so-blatantly-queer leader of all. "The downtrodden and oppressed"... Hollywood laying it on a little thick, here. They are the spark that will light the fire, fine I guess. But even as a pretty left-leaning person, this scene broke my fourth wall. 

Holdo slaps Poe silly. 8. Very good scene. Finally, someone puts Poe in his place. This was the kind of feminist “resist toxic masculinity” thing that regardless of whether you like the message or not, had some subtlety to it rather than being ham-handed. 

Finn escapes, meets Rose. 4. Finn the idiot trying to find Rey for really no good reason. No depth of character - really obvious. He’s just the "GOTTA FIND REY!" guy this movie. Rose overacts. Finn running away again... Good, this makes sense! Finn and Rose are smart enough to talk jibberish at each other and solve the whole situation! Yeah, let's shut down the Destroyer! Yea let's sneak on board the Destroyer and disable the tracker! Also... how did Rose not already know they could be tracked through lightspeed? that obviously already happened literally hours ago, and there’s no way she didn’t know about the attack...

Poe and Finn stupid mission. 3.  Poe: "It’s a need to know plan and she doesn't." Ughhhhhhh booooooooo. Worst fucking plan. This is truly painful... another ragtag small group mission against the odds and against the wishes of leadership. Sure, this movie (spoiler) subverts the trope eventually, but in such a clear and blatant way that it still feels like the trope. 

Maz Kanata in union negotiations. 3. You can just imagine the writer’s room... “well, Kathleen Kennedy / JJ Abrams says we need to have Maz in Ep8 so she can return in Ep9. So how are we gonna get her in there? Hmm... well, let’s make it a hologram cameo so we don’t have to change script or design set. And maybe, hey, here’s an idea, a fun cameo! Something funny and unexpected! Like let’s have her be in the middle of a gunbattle! With who though? Nothing too serious... Oh! What about like Union negotiations? haha, that’s great! But let’s make sure it has some plot relevance... I got it, she can be the one who tips them off to the master codebreaker! Let’s make sure she says ‘find the master codebreaker’ twice so everyone is clear what’s happening.” fin

Rey-Kylo mind bridge. 8.  Pretty interesting scene. Kylo is good again, here as in most scenes. "You can't be here... the effort would kill you." Foreshaadowwwwwwingggg. Rey fires her blaster at the wall and the Nuns are pissed. Why didn't Rey tell Luke? Caretakers of the island. nice.

Luke trains Rey. 9.  It's a bit too fast how Rey just "gets it" ... like can't we warm up into that please? Kind of OK with the joking around with her when she reaches out, literally... OK and then the balance point is pretty cool, and Luke's lesson is pretty good. Although I don't love the seaweed anus (you know what I’m talking about), I do think that was a pretty cool scene. Luke is scared of Rey.

Back to Battlestar Galactica. 4. Getting frustrated, I wrote: “fuck i mean why are they so dead set on dumb ass missions?”

Chewy and Porgs. 7. Still too many scenes! I’m fine with porgs, I guess. I dunno. Not loving them, but also don't hate them like I hate the plot.

Rey and Kylo bridge 2. 9. Pretty great bridge scenes. Kylo more nuanced and mature than Rey. Kylo has water on him from the rain... should have been a foreshadowing to transportation in the galaxy or something awesome like that.

Canto Bight intro. 6. “Worst people in the galaxy.” Of course this would also be Hollywood ham-handed... The worst people are fancy richers. Stupid Western accent on big monster. It’s basically Monte Carlo. And it’s a New Cantina... but with bowties and cocktails this time! meh.

Canto Bight reveal. 4.  It's bad people! Heavy-handed. BB8 full of coins, ha, ha.... ha. Codebreaker plot gamut is over, good (sort of). 

Rey training. 7. Rey knocks over some rocks with her lightsaber. Funny. Decent. Although I wasn’t really impressed with her lightsaber wielding, to be honest. It seemed like they were trying to make it impressive. 

Luke and Rey lesson 2. 7. “The Jedi legacy is failure, hypocrisy, hubris.” I NOW KNOW THIS IS TRUE! Kylo takes a couple students and kills the rest... fine. Leia blamed Snoke... boooooO!!! Snoke is so dumb.

More BSG - fleet dying. 4. Current fuel at 6 hours. How does this square with the Luke/Rey pacing? Are we on two different timescales, like the great movie Dunkirk? Hux is lame.

Back on Canto Bight Benicio. 3.  Benicio del Toro is fine. The stutter tick is a bit overwrought. I wrote: “BB8 shoots coins like a fuckin’ bullshit idiot” so you know I was enjoying myself. I continue: “They escaped and left the fuckin' grate open?! now they're with the big dumb animals. show kids they're with the resistance. yay rebel logo. now they're riding the big dumb animals. on a track. now they're bulldozing a casino. now they're destroying cars. now the ship is destroyed. now they run up cliffs. and of course there's a cliff they almost fall down. ‘It was worth it to tear up that town and make'em hurt’ BOOOOOOO. Free the animal! ‘Now it's worth it...’ booooooo.”

Benicio saves the day. 4.  ddddddddd need a lift? what kind of stutter is this, anyway? 

Kylo-Rey and Luke-Leia bridge. 9. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. it's the only way to become who we're meant to be.” In addition to being a fantastic @EmoKyloRen tweet, this line and scene was pretty great. 

Rey goes to the dark hole (seaweed anus). 9. She opens up to Kylo. so cool. Really like this complexity. They fall in love halfway between light and dark, kinda? Luke blows up the cabin and Rey confronts him.

Rey and Luke fight! 8. “ This is not going to go the way you think!” “I saw Kylo's future as solid as I'm seeing you. Ben Solo will turn.” Seen this before! It's cool but it's also a bit of a rehash. Luke won't take the saber. she leaves.

Luke and Yoda. 9. Yoda, laughing, burns the tree. “Skywalker. teach the failure. always looking to the horizon, not here, the need in front of your nose.” “Failure the greatest teacher is.” “We are what they grow beyond, that is the true burden of all masters.” I guess Yoda is just an amazing character because the lines writers write for him are almost universally great. 

Finn, Rose, and Benicio. 7.  Selling weapons to the bad and good... military industrial complex. "It's all a machine. Live free, don't join." OK... I like the different take, at least. 

BSG Again. 7. Poe confronts Holdo. Meh.

Rey goes to Snoke’s ship, Poe mutinies, Finn and Rey slip through shields. 6.  Who cares.

Robots ironing joke. 8. I liked this!

More sneaking around. 6. Is the hacker a good guy!? they get caught trying to shut down the tracker. I wrote: “Now stupid chrome Captain Phasma is dumb.”

Rey and Kylo in throne room. 9. “My good and faithful apprentice, my faith in you is restored.” Snoke still sucks but this scene is good. 

Poe and Leia. 6. Poe stunned by Leia. He's a dumbass.

Leia and holdo bye. 7.  Didn't feel that much emotion here either. Rebels "escape" sneaking out the back. 

Throne room again. 7. Snoke is super all powerful mehhh. "I bridged your minds, I baited you all." Emperor 2. Just like Luke, Emperor, and Vader. Tired. 

Crait rebel base. 6. Send a signal to allies in Outer Rim. Holdo knew to get transports out. Hide until First Order passes. Poe: "that could work" mehhhhh.

Benicio Betrayal. 3. How did he know that the transports were happening? nobody else did. Ridiculous. Why are the bombs arcing!?!!?! TOO MUCH GRAVITY. THIS IS SPACE. 

Throne room again. 7. Snoke super all amazingly powerful evil amazing omg. so dumb. Andy Serkis overacting is not good. Kylo "turns" against Snoke. Snoke really ruins this scene.

Transports getting domo’d. 5.  Still meh!

Post-Snoke throne room battle. 10. It's fine. So much action. Not sure why Red Guards are scary really. Rey and Kylo kill all the red guards. TWIST! Kylo didn't actually turn! Old v New, not Light v Dark! Great stuff here. "Your parents sold you off for drinking money. They’re dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You don't have a place in this story. You're nothing. But not to me. Join me. Please." I mean this is really interesting!!! This like light-dark love mixing here! The Rey-Kylo interactions in both movies have been great. 

Holdo’s sacrifice. 9. I mean OK holy shit, but why had nobody ever done it before? Beautifully shot, total quiet was very impactful as well. Good job on this, although potentially problematic for the greater Star Wars universe.

Finn vs. Phasma. 6. BB8 in an ATST? meh. Finn: "Let's go, chromedome." Phasma: "you're a bug in the system." Matrix callback! Bleh. another villain falls down a large chasm. Good riddance, Phasma. 

The New Supreme Leader. 6. The supreme leader is dead, long live the supreme leader, mehhhhhhhh.

The New Hoth. 5.  Rey and Rose sneak under the door, of course :( Miniaturized Death Star Tech. Battering ram cannon. Siiiiiiiiiigh. Ice foxes are cool I guess. We have now had a Death Star or a Death Star-like superweapon in all films except Episode 1.

Battle of Salt Hoth. 6.  Trench warfare. It’s salt, so it's OK that it looks just like Hoth! Everyone drive in straight lines right at the enemy, Yeah that's the ticket. Monoski, yea that's the ticket. It's pretty, at least. Remember at the beginning of the movie when they said it was “A dreadnought,” not the last one? Why not just bring a dreadnought to this situation and destroy the whole planet? Falcon + Chewie + Porg + Rey having fun again. The falcon goes into a mine that looks exactly like the Death Star 2 scaffolding and tie fighters follow...... sigh.

Finn tries to sacrifice. 3. Rose saves him from himself.... booooooo. And in the process basically kills herself... to save each other from .... the evil? By love? We're gonna win by not fighting what we hate but saving what we love! As the Death Star tech punches thru the door and she passes out. dumb dumb dumb. Could have given Finn a non-unidimensional redemption!

Luke and Leia. 6. “The galaxy has lost all its hope. The spark is out." I BET IT’S NOT! mehhhh. How many times do we have to do this in this movie? "nothing can change my mind." "it's over." the spark is out." Just kidding! Something Can/It's Not/No it isn’t! Here's Luke! zomg!

Luke faces down the First Order. 9. Very pretty. intense. Hux "do you think you got him?" is funny. Kylo's anger is good. Very pretty shots. Luke brushing dirt off his shoulder is good. Hux getting crushed to the wall is a good and funny joke.

Luke vs. Kylo. 9.  Luke no footprints on second viewing, hey, nice job guys! “Every word of what you just said, is wrong.” Good Luke line. Second time in the movie he’s said it to good effect. I like that. 

Escape! 7. Why wouldn't Luke have just told them, "Hey, I'm stalling, you escape?" Why make Poe figure it out? Rey lifts the rocks. Hooray Force. 

Luke was projecting!! He dies. 9. That was an emotional end. Well done. Sun setting. Good callback.

Resistance escapes. 7. Luke is gone, Rey and Leia talk, Finn and Rose, how do rebuild Rebellion from this, we have everything we need right here. Meh. Aaaaaand we're back where we started 9 movies ago.

Little kid has Force. 6. ...and Rose’s rebellion ring. Hooooookey. "The masses will rise up.” Once again... It's been 70 years and we're back where we started.

VERDICT: 

Given the score distribution, I was surprised to see that the stdev was not the highest of all the films - but I suppose Ep1 had both Jar-Jar and Darth Maul. With the sheer scene count, our histogram starts to approximate a normal distribution around 6. Which is sad. The outlier 9′s come to us because of the good Force-centric scenes with Kylo, Luke, and Rey (but not Snoke). The outlier 3′s come to us because of Dreadnoughts, Canto Bight, Poe, and Finn (bad storylines). 

Which brings us back to what I said before about this movie being great in its Force thread and bad everywhere else. When you calculate the scores for all scenes with any of Luke, Rey, and Kylo Ren, but nobody else, the average score is an 8.42. All other scenes average a 5.52. This movie had a very good story vein, set into a very bad plot structure. 

Perhaps the most damning verdict of all, however, is that I just don’t really care what happens next. I read one review which made the point that by this movie, the struggle between the Empire and the Rebellion has been going on openly for 70 years, and so little has changed. I noticed that, too. Death Stars have been built and destroyed and built again, destroying planets, narrowly missing the chance to destroy planets, and so on. Rebel forces have been against the wall and overwhelmed all odds to defeat an evil menace, only to find themselves under the menace’s thumb once again with historically instantaneous speed. Why is Leia still fighting? Maybe beyond the botox, this weariness is what kept me from connecting with her character or struggle at all. And no wonder nobody answered the call for help at the end of the film. 

Yes, Ep9 will have some inspiring uprising by a bunch of nobody’s, just like the climax of V for Vendetta, but how predictable, how uninspiring. Episode 9 - take it or leave it. And that’s the saddest realization of them all. 

REVIEW LINKS:

Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.

Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).

Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).

Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).

Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).

Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.

[viralhottopics]

Happiness Hack: This One Ritual Made Me Much Happier

When my wife and I moved to New York City in 2001, recently graduated from college and newlywed, we were eager to find friends. We knew nearly no one but were sure wed soon find a fun-loving group like the 20- and 30-something New Yorkers who spontaneously dropped in on one another on

We hatched a plan. After moving into our Midtown Manhattan apartment, we invited all the neighbors over for drinks by placing Kinkos-printed quarter-sheets into everyones mailboxes. Then, we waited for our versions of Chandler, Kramer, and Elaine to show up. But they didnt. In fact, no one did. As the ice in the cooler melted and the guacamole browned, not a single person among 100 apartments stopped by. Not. One. Person.

Recalling that episode now, we sound embarrassingly nave. We didnt realize friendships in the real world worked nothing like the ones we had forged in our dormitories, let alone those we saw on television. Yet as it turns out, our desire to belong to a tight community was far from foolish.

Recent studies have shown a dearth of social interaction with people you care about and who care about you not only leads to loneliness, but is also linked to a range of harmful physical effects. In other words: A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health.

Dying for Friends

A 2010 meta-analysis reviewed 148 studies involving over 300,000 participants and concluded that having weak social ties was as harmful to health as being an alcoholic and twice as harmful as obesity. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, co-author of the analysis, told Reuters, A lack of social relationships was equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

A more recent study, published in the , found a biological response to loneliness that triggers disease. According to the researchers, social isolation sets off a cellular chain reaction that increases inflammation and suppresses the bodys immune response.

Perhaps the most compelling evidence that friendships affect longevity comes from the ongoing Harvard Study of Adult Development. Since 1938, researchers have been following 724 men, tracking their physical health as well as social habits. Robert Waldinger, the studys current director, said in his recent TED Talk, The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. Socially disconnected people are, according to Waldinger, less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

Lest we think having 500 Facebook friends might offer some protection, Waldinger warns, Its not just the number of friends you have its the quality of your close relationships that matters.

So what makes for a quality friendship? William Rawlins, a professor of interpersonal communications at Ohio University who studies the way people interact over the course of their lives, told The Atlantic that satisfying friendships need three things: Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy.

Finding someone to talk to, depend on, and enjoy comes naturally when were young. In college, for example, we build strong bonds when nearly everyone around us is also searching for connection. But as we grow into adulthood, the model for how to maintain our friendships isnt clear. We graduate and go our separate ways, pursuing careers and starting lives miles apart from our best friends.

Suddenly work obligations and ambitions trump buddies and brewskis. It becomes impossible to be spontaneous without planning for weeks, if not months, in advance. Once children enter the picture, exhilarating nights on the town become exhausted nights on the couch.

Friendships Starve to Death

Unfortunately, the less time we invest in people, the easier it is to make do without them until one day it becomes too awkward to reconnect. Since we havent spoken for so long, we think, where would we even begin? If we were still close friends wouldnt we have spoken more by now?

This is how friendships die they starve to death. But as the research reveals, by allowing those friendships to starve, were also mal nourishing our bodies.

Case in point: Several months ago, I found myself in a funk. I now live in San Francisco and whenever someone asked, How are you? my reply was the standard Silicon Valley yuppie salute: Good! Super busy! Yet this wasnt exactly true. I wasnt good.

To put things in perspective, I wasnt bad, either. Things were fine. By all measures, more than fine I had a healthy family, a growing business, and interesting clients to work with. Id recently published a book that became a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and if my social media stats were to be believed, I had plenty of friends and followers.

And yet, the funk. I soon identified the problem: The more professional opportunities came my way, the more time I spent away from my real-life friends the people I truly cared about. Maintaining friendships with people to talk to, depend on, and enjoy takes time.

As an undergraduate, I first heard the term residual benefactor in an economics class. A residual benefactor is the chump who gets whatever is left over when a company is liquidated typically, not much. When were not careful, the people we care about often become residual benefactors: We leave them for last, giving them whatever bits of time are left over after weve attended to everything else.

The Solution, the Kibbutz

If the food of friendship is time together, how do we make the time to ensure were all fed? My friends and I have recently come across a way to keep each other close. It fits into our lifestyles despite busy schedules and a surfeit of children. We call it the kibbutz.

In Hebrew, the word means gathering, and for our gathering, four couples meet every two weeks to talk about one question sort of like an interactive TED Talk over a picnic lunch. The question might range from a deep inquiry, like Whats one thing your parents taught you that you want to pass on to your children? to a lighter, more practical question, like How do you disconnect from your iPhone on weekends?

Having a topic helps in two ways. For one, it gets us past the small talk of sports and weather, and helps us open up about stuff that actually matters. Second, it prevents the gender split that happens when couples convene in groups men in one corner, women in another. The question of the day gets us all talking together.

Consistency and Stiff-Arming the Kids

Every other week, rain or shine, the kibbutz is on our calendars consistency is key. Theres no back-and-forth emailing to find a time. We always meet at the same place, and each couple brings their own food so theres no prep or cleanup. If one couple cant make it, no biggie, the others carry on the conversation.

What about the kids? In our group, kids are welcome, but they dont run the show. Typically they play on their own, but if they interject, theyre given a stern response that sounds something like: Im having a conversation with my friends because my friends are important to me. Youre welcome to listen or join the conversation, but please dont interrupt unless its an emergency.

For our childrens sake, we want them to know that adult friendships matter. We dont want them to have to rely on TV to figure out how adults interact. By watching us, our children see that being a good friend means listening when others have something to share, and not being distracted by anything else including our cellphones, the football game, or even our own children (unless someone is bleeding). The entire affair lasts about two hours, and I always leave the kibbutz with new ideas and insights.

Most important, I feel closer to my friends. No, our group isnt as funny or spontaneous as the pseudo-New Yorkers I grew up watching on TV. But it turns out that fun wasnt what I was missing it was authentic, caring friendships. Making time to invest in my most important relationships finally snapped me out of my funk and provided the psychological nourishment I didnt know I was missing.

Not only that, it turns out the time I spend with my friends is also an investment in my future health. Forget diets and the latest workout routines. The best medicine may be to gather your favorite people around a table and make a toast: To friendship, and your health.

Heres the Gist:

Studies show adult friendships have a significant impact on our happiness and well-being.

Committing to my kibbutz has had the biggest impact on my happiness over the past year. Heres how our group works, but the lessons can apply to any adult friendship:

Book the time Reserve time on your calendar for the foreseeable future so there’s no guesswork or scheduling headaches about when well see each other again. Our group meets every two weeks.

Go deep Talking about a meaningful topic strengthens your bonds. Get past the shallow small talk. In our group, a different member brings the question of the day to each meeting.

Dont let kids derail you Children benefit from seeing you model a healthy adult friendship. Tell the kids they can listen or participate, but they cant interrupt unless its an emergency.

Read more: http://tcat.tc/2nX0I0T

from Happiness Hack: This One Ritual Made Me Much Happier