#so I'm pointing at that going 'oh yeah that!' as well

[muntitled]

Better Than Drugs

Pairings: Namgyu x Fem!Reader | Brief!Thanos x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reconnecting with your shitty ex boyfriend in the games.

Warnings: Language, Substance Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Male Manipulation, Coercion, Smut (+18) mdni, High sex, Dub/con, Choking, Exchange of Bodily Fluids, Unprotected Sex, Unedited (we die like soldiers)

A/n: literally no one will read this but I need him and I wrote this for me!

Being treated like a lamb being led to the proverbial slaughter in a death game sucked ass but seeing your ex boyfriend there sucked even more, somehow. From your vantage point perched on your bed tucked away from all the central conflict, you notice them talking about you again.

Call it past bully traum but you knew when people were talking about you and although you couldn't make out what they were saying, a part of you just knew...

Another vote had ended and Namgyu was still staring at you, his head bowed, chewing his fingernails. He was watching you, while you were forced to watch as democracy crumbled around you.

Your brain made you think Namgyu was perhaps berating you in front of his new friend. Bad-mouthing you to absolutely no end, perhaps saying what a lousy, uptight girlfriend you had been in the outside world. How you kept him from his habit. How you tried to force him into rehab countless times.

And so you shrink into yourself, squeezing yourself further into your bed, hugging your knees.

How were you supposed to know the conversation went nothing like how you thought it was going?

"We need to get her on our team," Thanos had said when the voting concluded and they were watching you pick at your roll of tin-foiled kimbap.

"She's already on our team," Namgyu muttered, more quiet than usual as he watched you through the corner of his eye. He didn't feel like eating. He felt like doing drugs. And fucking, maybe, but eating? It never occurred to him.

Without you to remind him to eat, and to actually take care of his bodily health outside of his substance abuse, he really was a mess.

"Oh yeah," Thanos muttered dumbly before turning back to his own food, "Kay, well, I need to sleep with her."

Namgyu didn't even look up from his food, still leaning against the metal beds as he murmured a quiet, "Nope." Popping his lip, extenuating the 'p'

Thanos himself was rallied into silence as Namgyu casually clicked his tongue before adding, "I called dibs on that bro," he steals another glance. You're searching your chest for a piece of cucumber that's fallen out of the kimbap

This unfortunately, zeroes his gaze in on your ample chest, miraculously squeezed into that tracksuit jacket. Now Namgyu was thinking about your tits while Thanos' head whips to the side, his brow lifted.

Namgyu couldn't take his eyes off you since the games began. Watching you during voting time had stirred up all kinds of lost emotions. The easy and almost thoughtless way you had pressed the blue button before tucking your hands in your pockets, never sparing anyone a second glance. He had to adjust the bulge forming in his sweatpant. If it weren't for him you might have continued to go amongst the games as an anonymous spectre, with that cash prize as your only goal.

"I didn't know we were calling dibs!?" Thanos stomped his feet petulantly, "That's not fair, man. Not. Cool."

"That's the point of dibs," Namgyu said, pushing his hair behind his ears as he continued to stare you down. "Who knows how long we'll be here?" As he watched you, he tilted his head downwards, causing a thick shadow to fall over his eyes as he watched you. He leaned against the railings of the metal beds piled up to the ceiling, watching you tuck your hands deeper into the sleeves of your sweater. Really fucking cute.

"B-But Homies don't call dibs on girls!" Thanos whines.

"Yeah," Namgyu nods, "but, I'm gonna need more than magic pills and a homie to get me through the night," He made a ring with his index and thumb finger, pinching his one eye shut as he spied at you through it, "She can help,”

Thanos was quiet, eerily so. Good things never happened when Thanos was quiet,

"Let's go over to her right now then. Since she's stealing my homie-"

That immediately snapped Namgyu out of his lust-filled gaze, promoting his shoulders to straighten as he tried to stop Thanos from taking another step towards you.

"Senorita-" he said in a singsong voice and you rolled your eyes as you saw them approaching. Namgyu walked behind like the shadow he always tried to be, with his hands tucked in his pocket. Your bed is relatively low to the ground and your heart stammered when both their shadows fell over you.

"Don't have any change," your eyes whipped to your ex-boyfriend before narrowing, "Or drugs. Sorry." you mustered a painfully sarcastic smile as you attempted to turn in another direction, hoping they might take the hint.

Thanos' teeth stretched as Namgyu swallowed thickly, watching you in that distinctly predatory way of his as he propped his forearm against the railing of the bed. You hate how both of them make you feel and your eye scans in vain around the premises, hoping someone might save you from the duo.

"Lemme make this quick," Thanos said with his drug addicted hand gestures. "My bro wants you and whatever bro wants-" he taps Namgyu's chest behind you- "Bro gets."

Silence passed with you staring deep into Namgyu's dark, almost sinister black eyes. You admitted that you were still painfully attracted to him. Knowing that he knows your body. He's already seen what hid under your blue tracksuit, it was dizzyingly sobering.

He still seemed so devastatingly sleezy it bordered on attractive, like he didn't care about what anyone really thought of him. It still brought an uncomfortable amount of attraction that you didn't really know what to do with. "No thanks," you said, bending your head to take a bite of the kimbap.

"Cunt." you heard him mumble under his breath. That caused your head whip up to glare at him.

"I'm a cunt because I'd rather not fuck a drug addict?"

"No," Namgyu shrugged, "You're just a cunt."

Your nostrils flared as something diabolical ignited inside you. Up until this point, fear had been the only emotion you allowed yourself to feel. The fear of dying to keep you alive. But right now, you're being plagued with another emotion and it's setting you alight with interest.

Your dating preferences were never orthodox. You knew you could never truly be satisfied with any other timid nice guy, and that's what drew you to him. You hated admitting to it but Namgyu calling you a cunt did more than irritate you, it ignited you.

"I'm not here to make friends,” You marvel now, in the tense darkness, how confident you had been then.

“How about a boyfriend then?” Namgyu asked and Thanos whistled lowly as he mutters a ‘nice bro,’

“How about choking?” You shot back, “I tried the boyfriend thing and he stole all my savings to buy drugs.” Namgyu’s jaw ticked and you can see his fist fold and unfold. Thanos’ commentary continues. ‘Shit boyfriend-’ he says under his breath.

“Don't be a bitch so early in the morning…” Namgyu says finally before turning his head, somewhat distracted, “Or at least I think it's morning. Hyung do you think it's morning-”

Thanos raised his hands, “Morning is what we make it in here, bro.”

“Leave me alone of I'll fucking scream.” you cut through all their useless chatter, letting a tense silence settle between the three of you. Eventually, Thanos reluctantly pulls Namgyu away. Murmuring a quiet ‘just take a hint bro.'

Soon, you were left in your bed but not without one more backwards glance from Namgyu over his shoulder. He wasn't done with you and that thought sat heavily on your shoulders until the robotic voice from unseen speakers made the countdown to lights out.

The very last thing you remembered, before the overhead lights were snuffed out, was his black, almond eyes still watching you from his bed.

The blue 'O' velcroed to your breast burns a hole through your conscience as your eyes flutter open in the middle of the night, really needing to pee. The prize money acts as the only source of gold light illuminating the hall while everyone else remains soundly asleep.

Life in the games was so much more stomachable during the day, but when the lights went out, you were forced to sit with your thoughts. That piggy bank didn't have money inside it, it held bodies, and the ghosts practically filled this room.

Still, you can't help but whisper to yourself, “I really have to pee.” The only thing stopping you from going to the bathroom is the gaze you knew would somehow find you from three beds over. Your ex boyfriend watches you, even when the lights go out.

Paranoia be damned.

Cursing softly, you maneuvered yourself to the ground. Trying to make the least amount of noise possible as you moved through the row of beds.

If you were being followed you'd never know. Everything was too dark but a part of you sighed as you reached the small arched doorway completely unscathed.

Almost unscathed.

Your heart hammers in its cage when you feel his heavy arm settle over your shoulders. Your mouth falls open but Namgyu is already banging on the arched door with a closed fist. You flinch with every loud, metallic hit.

The little window opens to reveal a triangle-masked soldier. He stands there emotionless.

“My girlfriend's on her period- she's bleeding everywhere. We need the bathroom.”

There is silence from the Guard who is clearly unimpressed. Just before the little window is about to slide shut Namgyu kicks at the door, “Hey! I wanna fuck my girl- if you want, we could do it out here?!”

You try to wrench yourself out of his grip, toilet be damned but your heart absolutely sinks to find the pink soldier opening the metal door.

Namgyu only twirls, pumping his fist before pulling you in his arms, biting back a smile.

“Can't believe that worked,” Namgyu says, with a raised eyebrow and a happy little shrug as he drags you across the threshold. The trip to the women's bathroom is relatively short as you writhe and fight in his hands. There's virtually no reason for the pink guard to think any of this was consensual but they kept their stoicism on their face as you reached the girl's bathroom.

“We'll be quick,” Namgyu assures the guard with a tight sort of smile before pushing you into the bathroom, and closing the door after himself.

You trip on your way running into one of the stalls and he watches you, biting his nail.

“This is the girls bathroom, or are you too high to notice?” You hiss absolute venom as he bites his fingernail.

“Nah, I'm sober right now, which means I need something to take the load off.”

“Cool. Use your hand,” you sigh from within the stalls before dropping your pants to pee. It irked you that he was standing there, on the other side… waiting for you.

You make quick work of it all. Wiping, flushing, and making a beeline for the sinks. He lets you wash your hands but before you make it to the door his arms are wrapped around your waist.

“Uh Uh,” he tsks, “No ‘i miss you’ kiss, huh?” He drags you into his arms, kicking and screaming as he swipes your brains from across your panicked face.

“Only competent boyfriends get kisses,” Despite the fuss, the door doesn't open. Those guards have quite literally abandoned you in here to fend for yourself.

“I can make it up to you,” he said, “I miss you really bad, baby,” Namgyu's pushing your back against the sink, stained with that sickening, pastel colour as he lowers his nose into the crook of your neck. You writhe as he breathes you in deeply, before sighing. His erection pressed against your thigh.

“Someone else could walk in here,” you cry, feeling a dampness seep out of you, wetting your underwear. Your body was being traitorous because it was enjoying feeling anything other than fear. It yearned for it.

“Sto-” you attempt to catch your breath as he gropes at your breasts from over your tracksuit. “Stop touching me-” you say despite your legs getting weaker and weaker.

“You don't get to touch me anymore. You lost that privilege when you stopped being my boyfriend.” He was so much taller than you when he stretched his hand across your cheeks, forcing your neck back to make more space for his lips. A moan nearly spills out of you.

His hands are trembling and his tongue swipes out to lick the length of your neck. To your shock and horror, you melt in his grasp.

“You don't mean that-” he whispers against your skin. “No one's gonna fuck you like I do-”

“No one's going to steal my money like you do either-”

His hand flies down to your throat, choking as he says through clenched teeth, “I told you I had a problem-” he squeezes and for the briefest moment, you see stars. “I needed help and you abandoned me, you bitch-”

“I didn't abandon you-” His lips are on yours, silencing you in one messy kiss that him forcing his tongue into your mouth.

“You gonna be good for me, Huh?’ He says, hoarsely, your eyes glare up at him.

“Leave me alone-”

“You know I love it when you try to fight back,” his mouth breathes against your hair, “You trying to get me riled up babe, huh?”

His fingers find the lining of your own sweatpants and your heart stammers as he turns to push your front against the sink. Your hand grips at the cheap plaster and you avoid your own traitorous reflection in the mirror, lest you find not only fear in your eyes, but lust

“You know how bad I've needed this- fuck,” his voice cracks when fumbles his cock out, grinding against your ass with his eyes closed in ecstasy and his mouth hanging open. Your finger curls around the sink as the first moan slips out of you. It had his eyes flying open to look down at you in amusement and awe.

“I knew you weren't a completely stuck-up bitch,” he says, pulling you up by the base of the throat, “I knew you still wanted me.”

“I don't,” you squeak out as he pulls down your pants.

“No- but your body does,” he swipes your underwear to the side.

Your body spasms as he roughly sinks his digits into you once before pulling out.

He continues to swipe your arousal from from your ass to your puffy clit and the need wracks through your entire body, building as you arched your ass backwards against him.

“You miss me real bad,” he brings your fingers up in front of your face and your heart drops to find the arousal webbing his index and middle.

His mouth is by your ear, breathing heavily as he lines his cock up at your entrance, already leaking precum, “I know I gave you hell when we were out there-”

“Hell doesn't begin to cover- FUCK-” he rams his cock into you. Positively brimming with need as his hips stutter against you.

“Y-ou stole my fucking savings for drugs-” you get the sentence out quickly before moaning into the air, as your boyfriend fucks out all the frustration he's been carrying, all the need and the withdrawal.

“And I ate you out as an apology-” He reaches his hand around to clamp down on the base of your throat. Your mouth falls open when he cranes our neck back, his eyes boring into yours. “Don't you miss it baby, don't miss having me inside of you?”

“Y-Your eyes are diluted-” you begin to say, utterly incredulous. “You're high right now!”

His hips thrusts in shallow, quick strokes. “And your pussy's wet, guess we're both fucked.”

“That it…” he whispers, “Don't think I haven't forgotten the way you abandoned me out there… But in here,” your eyes roll to the back of your head, “You dont so much as fucking breathe without my permission.”

Your pussy tightens around him like a long lost friend, it knocks you out how deeply you've craved him. Needing reprieve from all the fear. “You're squeezing around my cock, you fucking slut-” that nearly has you seeing stars. Your body spasms.

Your eyes squeeze shut as his cock hits that particular pillow of nerves inside you, nearly flipping you off the edge.

You do it without thinking about it and his eyes widen as he presses that same hand to your clit.

“Spit on my hand,” he says, an edge to his voice that let you know he was far too close. You forgot how messy things got when you had sex with him. How much of a mess he made of you.

“F-Fuck!” Your eyes are squeezed shut as he reaches around to rub you to your orgasm. His movements only fumble when his hips start stuttering.

“N-Need you to cum for me-” he breathes out. “I’m jittery- baby. I need it- shit-” you slip into your orgasm right in front of him, milking his cock for all its worth. “F-Fuck this is so much better than drugs,” he murmers, eyes rolled back as a drunken smile ghosts over his face. He's in complete and utter euphoria.

Two rough knocks on the door signal the need for your return but Namgyu's cock is still spilling ropes of his cum inside you and you're doing nothing but taking it.

“I hate you,” you breathe out, because it's true. If it weren't for him you wouldn't be here.

His breath is warm against your neck as he says, “I love you too.

[pseudowho]

It was an average Monday morning when you, Nanami Kento's wife, were turned into a cat.

"An unusual Curse," Shoko had said, "not longer than a week, surely--"

"Not--not longer than a week?!" Kento spluttered, his glasses lopsided, and, dangled in front of him beneath the arms (legs-- legs, he reminded himself)...you.

You, with two pointed ears, a long whippy tail, your many toe-beans and a perturbed little head-tilt. On the doctors' office couch, a neatly folded (if a little furry) pile of your clothes.

"Meow," you had said.

"Don't 'meow' me," Kento spluttered again, fixing you with a stern look that barely overlaid his concern. You simply stared up at him, long, and feline, and unblinking...and reached out one little paw, pressing it onto the end of his nose.

Kento sighed; a bone-deep, weary sigh. Shoko put out her cigarette, speaking through a haze of smoke.

"Like I said. Give it a week, and Mrs.Nyanyami will be back to nor--"

"What did you just call her?'

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Mrs.Nyanyami, the cat formerly known as Nanami Kento's wife, wanted for nothing.

"I think that tuna's more expensive than anything I've ever eaten," whispered Yuuji to Gojo. On the other side of the conference room, you sat upon the desk before Kento, waiting patiently for the next lump of tuna (meticulously cut into cat-appropriate cubes) to be delivered in his chopsticks.

As Kento's hand approached, you held it close with paw and claws, to steal the pink fish from him. He looked like a surgeon performing heart surgery.

"I just...dont know how he can look so serious while he's doing that," Gojo whispered back, to Yuuji's frantic nods. Still, they watched this freakish nature documentary with quiet obsession.

A higher-up sat down beside Kento, waiting for the meeting to begin. Jolting back, and grumbling, he did a double take.

"Young man-- you can't bring a cat to a Sorcerer's meeting--"

"That's not a cat," Kento snapped, frosty, "that's my wife."

And so began the rumour amongst the higher-ups, that Nanami Kento had gone mad.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"You should leave her at home--"

"--absolutely not--"

"--really, Nanami...just put the television on, she'll be fine--"

"--unequivocally, no--"

"--why not?!"

Silence. An awkward shuffle on Kento's thick chest. You peeked your head out of the pocket of the cat-carrying hoodie that Kento wore over his shirt and tie, and turned to Gojo with narrowed eyes.

"Meow," you had said, batting at Kento's strings, and hooking his tie out with your paw, to kick it to death with your legs.

"I agree," said Kento, whispering and scratching you beneath the chin until you purred, "he's wrong, isn't he? Stupid Gojo. You'd get lonely. You'd get bored. Yes you would..."

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"Oh my god...he's gorgeous...you should get his number--"

"--I'm not brave enough...you go. I'll get our coffees."

"--okay, okay..." The woman cleared her throat, sweeping her hair behind one ear with her best smile. Kento looked up from his coffee, with one finely raised eyebrow.

"Can I help you?" He lied, unwilling to help anyone at all before he'd finished his croissant.

"Hi, yeah, I just...can't help but notice you're sitting alone, and my friend-- well she-- she just wondered if she can have your number, and--"

The woman broke off into shrieks. Climbing up her leg, all claws and furry vengeance, was you. She shook her leg, shrieking. You hissed. Your cup of steamed milk clattered over the table, slopping everywhere.

"--o-oh my god-- oh my god, what the hell is this cat doi--"

"I'm sorry," Kento sighed, not sorry at all and dabbing his mouth with a napkin and doing absolutely nothing to help, "it's my cat. She doesn't like company--"

Hisses. Claws. Dirty feral yowls.

"Get this fucking thing off me--"

"I can't take you anywhere. No more steamed milk for you."

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

At times, you seemed so human. At others, undeniably cat.

Kento would wake to clattering from the kitchen, bleary and feeling around for you, only to remember, and trace his hand up to the furry, round little patch you'd leave behind on your pillow. He allowed himself just a moment of misery, before getting up.

He followed the sounds of cups and kettle and coffee machine, and leaned against the doorway with sleep-mussed hair and a squinting, teenagerish glare.

You were up on the counter, all four paws and determination. You had gotten as far as switching the kettle and coffee machine on, and heaving the cupboard open with your tiny limbs. Kento watched as you tipped your head sideways, managing to drag two mugs out in your teeth. He winced as they almost smashed upon the counter.

"Come on," Kento rumbled, his voice rusty with sleep, "let me do that."

You meowed at him, batting at the air with one angry paw when he stepped closer. Kento huffed, raising his hands in surrender.

"Fine," he tutted, "but I'll pour the water."

"Meow."

"Why? Because you don't have opposable thumbs, darling."

The fur stood up along your spine. You turned around, and around, in a circle, then sat upright. You turned your back on him while you waited for the kettle to boil. Your tail flicked from side to side, irritable. Kento waited, too, reaching out one hand to stroke your ears.

You nudged your back paw out, and pushed his mug off the side to smash on the floor.

Silence.

"...what is wrong with y--"

"Meow."

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Skitterskitterskitter.

Distant meows.

Kento groaned, rubbing down his face. He checked the clock, frog-blinking; two in the morning. He groaned harder.

Skitterskitterskitter.

Thunk.

More distant meows.

"Please just come back to bed," Kento moaned into the hands pressed over his face.

SkitterskitterskitterSKITTERSKITTER-- rustlllleerussstle--

Directly over his face.

"Meow--"

"I am begging you--"

RustlerustleTHNKskitterskitterskitter.

Distant meows.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"I miss you."

You raised your head to look at him. Your purring hitched. Your ears tilted.

Kento had murmured, his low voice barely audible. The only light in the living room was the ever-changing light of the television screen. Laid on his back on the sofa, with you curled on his chest, Kento stroked down your back with longing.

You crept up his chest, pressing your cold wet nose to his, and purred. Nose to nose, and cross-eyed, Kento could have cried.

"I really miss you," he repeated, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Your claws dug into his chest, just a little. You rub, rub, rubbed your warm furry head along his jaw until he sniffled, and gave a choked little chuckle.

He fell asleep with you on his chest that night. In so many ways, it was familiar; home. In so many others, you were gone forever.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

"Meow."

Kento shuffled. His chest felt heavy...warm. His belly felt warm, too. And his lap, and--

Kento's eyes shot open, his head lifting up from the couch.

You bit your lip, naked on top of him, and smiling. Human. An angel.

"Oh, my love," Kento moaned, crushing you to him in a bear hug from shoulder to toes, "you're back-- I missed you, I was so worrie--"

You batted an arm out, swiping last night's wine glass from the coffee table beside you, to shatter on the floor.

Silence. Kento blinked slowly, looking from the wine glass, to you. You felt your cheeks grow hot, swallowing hard.

"God, I...sorry, Kento. Force-- force of habit--"

[siphonophoresupernumerary]

Very very very good points! I would say that the final point about trans men can very easily, and indeed necessarily, be extended to trans women and nonbinary people. Did they account for trans people at all? There is built in margin for error there with people in the closet or are not comfortable being out for survey purposes.

I grew up as a man in a christian family and I can see how potent the disdain conservatives, especially christians, have for college. It's a setting that christian ideals don't control that affords the students a lot of freedom and diversity. Diversity generally makes people lose faith in the variety of christianity they were raised in, skewing more progressive.

The increase of women in college can very well be seen as an increase of diversity, but because the paper doesn't explore race, doesn't clarify how or if trans people counted, and only barely touches on sexual orientation, we only GET to see her findings on gender.

Looking at it though I'm also inclined to agree that fewer men are going to college, or believe it when it is asserted. Apparently young college age men are more conservative as is evident from the last presidential election, which fits with my earlier point about christian's anti-college/diversity rhetoric. Though if that's true I might posit that certain political beliefs and religions are in flight, more than any given gender. This fits in with Davis' note about the prevalence of gay men in college, as gay men are less likely to be religious for homophobia reasons. Plus christian ideals are generally "men provide, women nurture" so christian women may well be flying too, but their numbers would be significantly smaller than christian men, and thereby it doesn't stick out when looking at gender alone.

I'm not 100% sure how substack works, but the article is on Matriarchal Blessing, a name which has certain Divine Feminine connotations. Looking up the author, Celeste Davis, I find that her substack is entirely about gender. Which leads me to believe that maybe the author cares mostly or only about gender. Explaining the lack of thurough research that explores each or any of the vectors uncle-fruity indicated. I'm inclined to say that Celeste Davis is biased. Additionally, even though I don't see overt christian themes in there, the presentation of and

Oh. She's an exmormon. I guess that explains the quasi-religious qualities to Matriarchal Blessing. Which include a "bless your wanting" ritual for paid subscription members. Mormons believe in a concept of the Divine Feminine; they believe in a Heavenly Mother, innate power in being a woman, and also the "1950s patriarchal dream" (Celeste Davis' words) which include strict gender roles. The value put into both roles are purportedly equal in policy, though by policy the vast majority of leaders are men. A lot of women find the role they are given restrictive and that looks like what drove Davis away from the mormon church.

Another note to flex my Mormon knowledge, Matriarchal Blessing is a twist on the Patriarchal Blessing. A Patriarch for a stake(geographical collection of church attendees) gives a member a blessing which is a mixture of a blessing, a pep talk, a testimony(or tiny church lesson), and a personal prophecy(fortune telling). The stake's Matriarch is his wife and her role is to record and transcribe the blessing.

Mormon gender roles are written in policy, as close to stone as you get in this modern age. The Family Proclamation says that marriage is between a man and a woman, that the only genders are man and woman, that everyone is supposed to get married (1 man, 1 woman. Explicitly no polygamy), and that men are supposed to provide and women are supposed to care for the household, and finally that sex is ok only within a marriage.

I got distracted and lost the thread I was following but yeah, I don't ascribe malicious intent to Celeste Davis or intentional bias, but I do think her bias is having an effect. For someone who blogged about leaving her religion, it's weird to me that she didn't point out any religious demographics in the article.

Actually. I'm shocked that tumblr passed around an article by an exmormon as Article Of The Day, though a piece of reactionary masculine-critical rhetoric doesn't surprise me in the slightest. There's so few sources in this article but who cares so long as it feels good to read. Which, honestly, I am guilty of too.

Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? (Celeste Davis, Oct 6 2024)

"White flight is a term that describes how white people move out of neighborhoods when more people of color move in.

White flight is especially common when minority populations become the majority. That neighborhood then declines in value.

Male flight describes a similar phenomenon when large numbers of females enter a profession, group, hobby or industry—the men leave. That industry is then devalued.

Take veterinary school for example:

In 1969 almost all veterinary students were male at 89%.

By 1987, male enrollment was equal to female at 50%.

By 2009, male enrollment in veterinary schools had plummeted to 22.4%

A sociologist studying gender in veterinary schools, Dr. Anne Lincoln says that in an attempt to describe this drastic drop in male enrollment, many keep pointing to financial reasons like the debt-to-income ratio or the high cost of schooling.

But Lincoln’s research found that “men and women are equally affected by tuition and salaries.”

Her research shows that the reason fewer men are enrolling in veterinary school boils down to one factor: the number of women in the classroom.

For every 1% increase in the proportion of women in the student body, 1.7 fewer men applied.

One more woman applying was a greater deterrent than $1000 in extra tuition! (…)

Since males had dominated these professions for centuries, you would think they would leave slowly, hesitantly or maybe linger at 40%, 35%, 30%, but that’s not what happens.

Once the tipping point reaches majority female- the men flee. And boy do they flee!

It’s a slippery slope. When the number of women hits 60% the men who are there make a swift exit and other men stop joining.

Morty Schapiro, economist and former president of Northwestern University has noticed this trend when studying college enrollment numbers across universities:

“There’s a cliff you fall off once you become 60/40 female/male. It then becomes exponentially more difficult to recruit men.”

Now we’ve reached that 60% point of no return for colleges.

As we’ve seen with teachers, nurses and interior design, once an institution is majority female, the public perception of its value plummets.

Scanning through Reddit and Quora threads, many men seem to be in agreement - college is stupid and unnecessary.

A waste of time and money. You’re much better off going into the trades, a tech boot camp or becoming an entrepreneur. No need for college. (…)

When mostly men went to college? Prestigious. Aspirational. Important.

Now that mostly women go to college? Unnecessary. De-valued. A bad choice. (…)

School is now feminine. College is feminine. And rule #1 if you want to safely navigate this world as a man? Avoid the feminine.

But we don’t seem to want to talk about that."

[woso-dreamzzz]

New Girlfriend III

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle x Teen!Reader

Summary: You make a game

When Lucy cracks open your door, you're as you always are.

You're hunched over your computer, clicking around some game level aimlessly with your tongue sticking out in concentration.

Your mice, like they always are when you're in the room, are running riot in their pen.

Outside of their cage and on the floor, you've set up a little pen for them to roam around and play in.

Lara and Zelda are wrestling like always as Clementine tries to work through the enrichment puzzle full of food. Ezio is asleep, flopped over on your shoulder as you study whatever new game you've found.

"You ready for dinner?"

Now that it's gotten colder, you've managed to get even moodier than before and even more of a shut in.

"One sec," You say. You click around the game level a bit more before pulling up a separate tab to type a long string of something Lucy can't even hope to understand. "Alright, I'm done. What's up?"

Lucy rolls her eyes fondly. "Dinner. Now. Ona cooked."

You push your chair out from your desk and stretch, your back cracking from the long hours you've spent hunched over.

You put the mice back into the cage, each of them getting a quick snuggle and kiss before you bolt it shut.

"Is it good food?" You ask as you go down the stairs.

"It's better than your mum makes!" Ona calls out and you grin.

"Yeah, but anything's better than Mum's cooking!"

Lucy grumbles, shaking her head. "One nice meal is all I ask. One meal where I don't get horrifically bullied!"

"We don't bully you," You say," It's character building!"

You and Ona laugh and Lucy just rolls her eyes. Sometimes, you think she would prefer if it went back to what it was like when you were first adapting to Ona.

"Oh," She says," I sent you those audio files you wanted."

"Thanks."

Lucy frowns. "She's been making you do those too?"

"Yeah, it's for a school project, right?"

You nod. "Uh-huh. It's for programming."

"I know I shouldn't have let you sign up for that," She says," It's all you ever do. I think you're losing sleep over it."

"You'll like it," You declare," What I'm working on. I promise."

"I'm sure that I will but it doesn't mean I think you're sleeping well. Put it down for once, that's all I'm saying."

You roll your eyes.

Lucy's always like that about your programming. Sometimes she lays asleep at gone three in the morning and can still hear you typing away on your computer for hours on end.

You return to your room after dinner ends and briefly come out to show Ona what you're working on while also denying Lucy the same opportunity.

"You've love it," Ona assures her at training the next day.

"Love what?" Keira asks," Oh, y/n's game? Yeah, you'll love it, Luce."

"Am I the only one that hasn't seen it?!" She demands, glancing around the room at people who are trying to not make eye contact with her. "Seriously? Raise your hand if you've seen it?"

Slowly, everyone raises their hand.

"This is so unfair!"

When you first got given the project, Lucy had been the first person to be clued into your plans. You showed her all your design sketches and all your ideas as you jumped between them.

At one point, one of your bedroom walls had been covered in concept designs and you would stand in front of it and point out certain aspects you liked and things you didn't think were quite perfect yet.

Lucu had been integral to your thought process and then all of a sudden she was shut out. You'd ask her to record voice lines or demonstrate doing something but you'd never explain why or what it was for.

You all but unplugged your computer when she came in unexpectedly and tried to get a sneak peak.

"Alright," Lucy says when she gets home to see you and Ona giggling on the sofa together," I've had enough. Show me your project."

You sit upright immediately, eyes wide.

"No-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer. I've had enough of the secrets."

She's serious. You can tell by the clench in her jaw and the way her arms are crossed over her chest.

Lucy's stubborn but you inherited from her so you're stubborn too.

Your cross your arms in the same way as you stand. "No! It's not finished! You can see it when you're finished!"

"Hey," Ona intervenes before the argument can truly get heated. Her hand rests on your shoulder. "It's okay. Just show her."

"I can't! It's not ready!"

"Come on," Ona says," Show her."

You glance at your Mum, who is staring at you with that same stern look and crossed arms as the one that she came in with.

"Fine. Give me a sec."

Lucy sits on the sofa as Ona hooks up a laptop to the tv.

You come back in with a disc and nervously put it into the dvd slot.

Lucy doesn't know what to say when the opening credits appear.

'Lucy Bronze: The Game' with a little pixel version of her holding the Champion's League trophy up on her head.

"We were meant to make a game about a hero," You say," And you're my hero."

[songbirdseung]

new year, same love / lee heeseung

going into 2025 with the man you have pined over for years now. hoping this year you won't have to admire him from afar no more.

there he goes again, strolling through the college hallways with his friends, laughing and talking about who knows what. all you know is that he looks effortlessly good while doing it. lee heeseung was gorgeous, so much so that you often wondered how someone could look better than most people you’ve seen in movies, let alone in real life. the way he carried himself—confident, assured, like he knew exactly who he was and what he wanted—made him impossible to ignore.

heeseung wasn’t just a pretty face; he was ambitious and determined, a man who knew how to chase after his goals without hesitation. but somehow, even with that drive, he managed to maintain a charm that made everyone gravitate toward him.

and you? you fell for him the moment you saw him during freshman year. back then, you thought it was just a harmless crush—something fleeting that you could brush off. but that illusion shattered the second he walked into your first class, sat beside you, and offered you the warmest smile.

"hi, i'm heeseung."

his voice was smooth, almost too comforting. you never thought you’d find someone’s voice so attractive, yet here you were, completely entranced by it.

over the next three years, you silently admired him from afar, never daring to cross the boundary of casual greetings or academic discussions. you convinced yourself there was no point. someone like heeseung, so confident and accomplished, wouldn’t look twice at someone like you—or so your insecurities told you.

but that didn’t stop you from stealing glances whenever he was in the same room or secretly melting every time he casually greeted you in passing. your friends, however, weren’t as content with your one-sided pining.

yeji and winter, your two best friends and self-proclaimed "love-life saviors," had been listening to your endless praises about heeseung for years. they were your biggest cheerleaders, hyping you up to approach him. but lately, they’d grown tired of your hesitation and decided to take matters into their own hands.

with senior year coming to an end, they knew time was running out. their plan? a harmless little scheme to push fate along—a small prank that would get you and heeseung stuck in the same room together.

the day of their so-called intervention began innocently enough. you were in the library, buried in research for your final project when yeji plopped into the chair across from you, her grin a little too wide to be genuine.

"hey, yn," she said, voice sweet but suspiciously scheming. "did you hear about the study rooms on the third floor? they just added soundproofing. perfect for concentration."

"uh, no," you replied absentmindedly, still typing away. "why?"

"oh, nothing. i just booked one for you. figured you'd need some peace and quiet."

you glanced up, suspicious. "since when are you so considerate?"

winter appeared out of nowhere, sliding into the seat next to yeji. "stop questioning and just go, yn. you'll thank us later."

reluctantly, you gathered your things and headed upstairs. the moment you entered the room, you froze.

there, sitting at the table, was lee heeseung.

"oh," you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

he looked up from his laptop, surprise flickering across his features before he smiled. "hey, yn. didn’t expect to see you here."

your brain scrambled for a coherent response. "uh, yeah... same. must be a mix-up."

you turned to leave, but the door clicked shut behind you. you tried the handle. locked.

your heart sank as realization hit: yeji and winter had set you up.

"everything okay?" heeseung asked, standing up and walking toward you.

"uh, yeah, just... locked in," you said, forcing a laugh. "probably some glitch."

he chuckled, his voice warm. "guess we’re stuck then. might as well make the most of it."

he gestured to the chairs, and you hesitantly sat down, your pulse racing.

"so," he said, leaning forward with that signature confidence, "tell me about you. we’ve had so many classes together, but i feel like i barely know anything about you."

the casual question caught you off guard, but his genuine interest disarmed you. slowly, you began to talk, sharing snippets of your life, your interests, and even your favorite coffee spot on campus.

to your surprise, heeseung listened intently, asking questions and laughing at your stories. the initial awkwardness melted away, replaced by an unexpected ease.

an hour passed before you even realized it, and when the door finally unlocked (thanks to yeji's "mysterious" intervention), you almost felt disappointed.

"guess we're free now," he said, standing up and grabbing his bag.

"yeah," you murmured, feeling a strange mix of relief and longing.

he paused by the door, glancing back at you with a small smile. "you know, this was actually fun. we should do it again sometime—minus the locking part."

your eyes widened. "oh, uh, yeah. sure."

and just like that, he was gone, leaving you standing there with your heart racing and your mind spinning.

yeji and winter were definitely going to pay for this—but maybe, just maybe, you’d thank them later.

[wannabanauthor]

What if Tommy and Eddie discussed the breakup, and it goes from serious to funny?

So Eddie goes to Tommy's house and is like "I'm here to check on you, let's get a beer."

Tommy tries to refuse, but Eddie says, "You broke my best friend's heart, so the least you could do is explain your reasoning to me."

Tommy reluctantly goes. After a few beers, he starts rambling.

"I fucked up, and I don't know how to fix it or even if I should fix it. I was falling in love with him, and it snuck up on me. I didn't expect for it to get more serious," Tommy says. "I thought it was just going to be fun for awhile, and we'd go our separate ways."

"Your second date with him was to his sister's wedding," Eddie points out.

"Oh so sue me! It's not my fault I caved. He gave me these pleading puppy eyes, and I found myself agreeing."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Well, if you never expected it to get serious and didn't want it to get serious, then why haven't you found your rebound yet? It's been weeks. Even Chimney and Maddie are telling Buck to start dating again."

Tommy groans into his hands and then rubs his temples. "Fucking traitors."

"Well, I know this hot priest-"

"Been there, done that," Tommy says and takes a swig of his beer.

Eddie looks at him with a bewildered look on his face. "What?"

"What?" Tommy responds with a shrug. "I was raised Catholic. Guilt about sexuality is easy to spot, but he made the first move."

"Do I even want to know how?"

"Ever had sex in a confession booth?"

Eddie's eyes are wide and horrified. "Please don't tell me-"

"It was an old booth in storage, but it was still pretty hot. Once I admitted to myself that I was gay, I had a lot of catching up to do."

Then Tommy goes quiet and gets sad again. "I'll never meet another Evan in my life. I think he's ruined me for other men."

"Don't say that. While, I prefer you two together, you can always find someone else."

Tommy snorts in disbelief. "Yeah, not gonna happen. At least when it comes to sex. His adorable face and cheery smile haunt my dreams, and his proficiency with dick makes it impossible for me to get it up even when watching porn."

"Oh no, I need more alcohol for this," Eddie says and orders some shots.

He and Tommy go through a couple of them.

Tommy's tongue gets looser. "His dick is fantastic. Perfect length, thickness, and stamina. I know my body pretty well, and let me tell you, the prostate orgasms from him were out of this world. I barely lasted five minutes before coming just from him fucking me."

Eddie is drunk enough that he's not even fazed.

"Not to mention he has this slight curve that makes him hit the spot every time, and goddamn, I miss that dick and the dork attached to it," Tommy continues. "He made me feel comfortable and safe and cherished. Being around him was effortless, mostly, and I miss him so much."

Tommy starts sniffling, and then tears roll down his cheeks. "Fuck, I don't want to cry."

Eddie puts a comforting hand on Tommy's shoulder. "Call him. He's a mess and miserable without you. He's been baking so much that the entire station's hemoglobin A1C levels are pre-diabetic. We had to force him to focus on savory cooking."

Tommy shakes his head. "He doesn't want to hear from me. I broke his heart. I'm the last person that should be contacting him."

"He does want to hear from you. He's only been baking and cooking so much to stop himself from contacting you because he wants to give you space and respect your boundaries post-breakup."

"What would I even say? That I panicked and ran? I told him he would break my heart if we moved in together. There's no coming back from that."

Eddie sighs and sets his drink down. "Listen, the first time you ended things with Buck, I told him he was an idiot but to call you anyway. Now it's your turn to be the idiot. Go get your man back. Call him. Talk to him. He'd settle for a text. Just do something! You both are suffering without each other. You don't have to move in with him. He just wants you back in his life."

More tears run down Tommy's face and it turns into full sobs. Eddie scoots closer to him and gives him a hug. Tommy clings to him, sobbing even harder.

After drinks, they stop by a taco place and sober up while eating delicious birria tacos. They go back to Tommy's place, and Eddie sleeps on the couch just to make sure Tommy is alright. Before he falls asleep, he texts Buck.

"If Tommy contacts you, go easy on him. He's an idiot too."

When Tommy wakes up the next morning, he nearly stops breathing when he sees that Evan texted him.

"I miss you." was all it said.

Tommy cradles his phone in his hands for several minutes before pressing the call button. He holds his breath until Evan answers.

"I miss you too," Tommy says.

[tension4mari]

I was wondering if you could do player 125 pls like anything my man’s has no ff pls if you can

The beginning is kinda slow!

~

⚡︎Paring- Min-su x Fem!reader

⚡︎Summary- You and Min-su have been in a relationship for 3 years, deciding that you'll do whatever it takes to get rid of all your debt you inter into the squid games with Min-su. You both meet a girl named "Semi" and decides to hang out with her group. Little did you know you wouldn't be so safe there.

Warnings- Angst & cursing... That's it:0

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"What's your name?" the girl spoke, eyes strict with curiosity "Park Min-su" he said looking at her with his brown colored eyes "well, why'd come here anyway" And before she could speak a guy with purple hair walked up to her "Senorita, excuse me" She turned with furrowed brow.

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"I want you to join our team" the purple haired guy spoke smiling at her. Semi turned her head to the guys beside him finally looking back at the guy in the middle "Uh. Why should I?" soon she spoke one of the guys beside her spoke "Don't you know who this is ? The rap god, Thanos." He spoke staring at up then being to rap.

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑The guy on his right spoke out "Hey, wait a minute. We don't know what we're playing. Picking a woman is-" He couldn't get his words out before Thanos pointed his finger out at the girl "Thanos the Great will protect you. Don't worry"

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"Oh" she chuckles "Thanos, huh?" she plays with her lip a little "So you managed to collect all of the Infinity Stones?" She says looking him up and down "Of course" The boy said throwing his arm up and down "Ill destroy anybody who dares stand in my way of greatness!" He declares telling her to stick with him "Yeah, so about that" She looks at the three guys "I was already talking to someone else and-" "No problem" "Who is it" Semi blinks at the guys and steps to reveal Min-su.

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑He looks up at them nervously "What's your name?" Thanos nodded at him "Uh, I'm Min-su. But I have someone with m-" Thanos cuts him off "What's up? Nice to meet you, my brother" "Welcome to the Thanos world" He goes to grab Thanos had, shaking it "Uh...oh" "You're cute, come on"

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑Just as him and his crew were about to walk away you come up and grab Min-su shoulders. "Hey! where ya going?" nervously laughing at him you say. The group already walked off and now it's just you too. "Oh. some guys invited me to his group-" "What." you say staring at him in disbelief "I thought you and I were going to stick together? Especially after that last game ww played!" "Right... But i can't just leave their group now!" "Thats dirty' he stated. "Dirty? What's dirty is you leaving your girlfriend to fend for herself all alone! What the hell has gotten into you Min-su!" "Nothing has gotten into me- Look. Just find another team and well see each other later. Ok?" "Whatever" You scoffed turning on your heels not turning back to look at him

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑Lucky for you, you found a team just in time for game. He must of not known how easily you life could be taken from these stupid games! It made you feel like he didn't care what would've happened to you. "Tch, I don't need him. I can handle my own" you mumble under your breathe.

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑Soon enough you saw a group of men and a girl sitting together. Deciding you have had enough of talking to yourself you walked up to interduce yourself to them?

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"Hey? excuse me. Do you guys think i can sit with you all?" You spoke softly not wanting to alarm them "Sure, why not! sit down. We Arnt any harm. 390 spoke

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑You ended up really bonding with them and getting to know their names. Soon enough it was time to put votes in, wether not to stay or leave. Both you and Min-su voted to leave after the first game. Now you were beside Min-su somehow as you see a guy look back at him approaching

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"You better not fuck this up. he said with folded arms. "huh?' " hmm." The guy fumbles with Min-su jacket "This." "Like we agreed. We do one more, and then get out. Right?" He stared at him "Uh huh" Min-su said shaking his head violently "What the fuck?" you said whispered.

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑You scoot closer towards Min-su "Are you seriously going to let that jerk tell you want to do?" You ask Min-su "Um.. Don't worry about it." he says looking away from you with his head down "What do you mean 'don't worry about it' Min-su you promised that well get out of here alive! Together." You say hoping he'll not chose O "Min-su." He looks at you "Yeah?" "Please. For me, chose the right thing"

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"I-I can't..." he says amongst his voice. "How stupid are you?!" You whisper shout "I want to leave this place- i don't think i can stay anymore longer.." he looks at you for a moment before turing his head 'I cant."

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑Your turn to vote was about to happen but one of the guys Min-su were hanging out with called you over. You hesitantly walked over to him "Who are you? Do you and that guy know each other?" he said while pointing to your boyfriend

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"Um yea... He's, my boyfriend." you answered ""Holy shit?!" he said in shock "Who would've known he had that in him??" he said elbowing His friend Thanos

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑ "Hey.. Why'd say dumping him and getting with me?" he says with much confident "Tch.' you scoff "As if" You turn to Min-su hoping he would say something about the guy hitting on you. You raise your eyebrows staring at him ".."

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"ugh!" you grumble, before you could speak Nam-Gyu look at your jacket "Hm?' he comes closer to you grabbing your jacket and looking at the X on your chest "What's this?" he says Holding onto your jacket even harder. "Let go of me you werido!" you turn once again looking at Min-su hoping he'll at least say something

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑He just stares at you. Looking dumbfounded. Nam-Gyu looks at Min-su then back at you "Wow dude, you're not gonna stand up for your bitch?" he says laughing "Excuse me?" you say offend "Let me the hell go! or I'm going to beat your ass!" you say pushing him off of you

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑"Yeah? How are you going to do that?" he says getting all in your face. You managed to get his off of you. Making sure you stayed your distance from him

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑Before you leave you look at Min-su "Whatever we had. Its over." you say leaving him alone for good. He stares at your retreating figure not daring to speak a word.

Hope you liked it 😿

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

To Those Who Wait

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, virginity loss, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are tired of being the safe one so you decide to pay for some excitement.

Characters: escort!Ransom Drysdale, Curtis Everett

Note: this is intended as a one shot but you also know I'm easy to influence.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Tony loves himself. Take care. 💖

“Happy birthday!” Vivica shoves the plastic teeth of the dollar store tiara into your hair. 

You try not to glower as the rest of the table roars with laughter. It’s a happy night. You can’t spoil it just because you hate gimmicks. They mean well, you’re just a downer. Like always. 

You force a smile, “thanks, guys.” 

“Don’t thank us, it’s your night,” Jerrod chirps. “Which means you drink for free!” 

Big whoop. You barely drink. You’ll have one or two for the occasion but you don’t like the way it makes your stomach feel. Ugh, stop being such a tight ass. It’s about you but it isn’t. They went to all this trouble planning the night. For you. Your friends. You can at least be thankful for them. 

Yeah, you have friends but how much do they really know you? For as long as you’ve known them, they should know that this isn’t you. They are the ones that want to go out, that want to drink, that want to wade into the unpredictability of the general public. That’s not you. 

“So, what are we having?” Mila asks. 

“Hm, I don’t know. You know I’m not picky.” It all just tastes like alcohol. 

“Ooh, cucumber gimlet. That sounds nice,” Jerrod says. 

“Oh, it really does,” Vivica agrees. 

“I’m going to try the gummy bear. I’m in the mood for something sweet,” Mila says. 

“Sure, I’ll try that,” you shrug. 

Jerrod flags down a server and puts in the order. As he does, Vivica stirs around under the table. Mila claps as she reveals the gift bag from beneath. 

“My favourite part,” Mila wiggles with excitement. 

“Oh, you didn’t have to--” 

“It’s only one part of our gift,” Jerrod laughs knowingly. 

You give him a wary look. You don’t like his tone. You accept the gift bag and look inside. You can’t tell what it is. You pull out the tissue paper and a small box wiggles inside. Slowly, you slip it out and just as quickly shove it back in. 

“That’s it. You wanna do it just like that,” Jerrod guffaws. 

Your mouth drops open as you look around the table. The bright pink dildo has your cheeks on fire. You can’t believe they’d bring that out in public. 

“What is wrong with you guys?” 

“Oh, come on, everyone can use a good six inches or so,” Jerrod snickers. “That’s our backup gift. Our real gift is somewhere around here.” 

“Huh?” You peek around the bar. “Like a scavenger hunt?” 

“Oh, it’s a hunt,” Vivica juts out her chin. “You set the target and we’ll take him down for you.” 

“What?” You scoff. 

“Come on, honey, you’re thirty. You need to get one last hurrah in,” Jerrod insists. “When it’s my turn, I want three beefy boys. One in each flavour, blond, brunette, and even a redhead.” 

“I’ll have the same,” Mila smirks. 

You’re embarrassed. Uncertain two. You can’t tell if they’re mocking you. Out of the four of you, you’ve always been the boring one. The sober one. All these years, and you were the one saving them from regrettable drunken mistakes and making sure they don’t leave the bar with creeps. It wouldn’t be hard for them to guess, would it? 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be your wingmen. Wingwomen. Wingfriends!” Vivica says. “How about him?” She points as the server lays out the drinks. “He’s cute. Oh, look at his eyes.” 

“Wow,” Mila preens. “A bad boy. That would be adorable.” 

You want to disappear. You want to dissolve into the cushioned bench. Become a part of it. Life as a piece of a furniture must surely be nicer. 

“And his friends, not bad, huh?” 

You’re speechless. It’s a joke. Even if they don’t mean it as one, it is. All these years and you’ve never been the one approached first. You’re the straggler. You get the odd one out and they get stuck with you. Maybe, all this time, your friends had been too self-absorbed or too drunk to notice that. 

You don’t mean to be bitter. You shouldn’t be. It isn’t their fault you’re so lame. That you’ve gone another year without a single thing to be proud of. Without any change. 

“Right, well, they look busy.” 

“Booooo,” Vivica hovers her glass in front of her mouth. “Who wants to break the ice?” 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Mila stands. 

“Wait.” You blurt out but she ignores you. 

Some birthday. You get to spend it awkwardly making small talk with another disinterested stranger. You try not to show your discomfort. You grab the skewer with gummy bears impaled on it and stir the vibrant red drink. You sip through the thin straw. It makes your cheek pinch painfully. The sugar will do worse to your stomach than the vodka. 

You keep your head down as Mila’s fluttery giggle wafts over. Vivica giggles as she watches and Jerrod cranes to see. You stare at the table and distance yourself from the moment, detaching from your body as the bar hazes around you. 

“Hey, you guys, come on,” Mila calls over, “lots of room.” 

Her waving hand brings you back to the present. Vivica nudges you with her elbow as Jerrod jumps up. He grabs Mila’s drink and you shuffle along behind them. The group of men sit at one of the tall tables. They rearrange themselves and you stand back as the others claim their seats. 

You climb up on the last, balancing your drink and the gift bag, unable to bring yourself to look at the men on either side of you. You fixate on your drink and taste it again, even as the sickly flavour curdles in your mouth. Your friends introduce themselves and you choke on your name before Mila says it for you. 

The men take their turns. Your eyes dart around evasively. A sweltering heat forms a sheen across your face. The one with the frosted tips and glasses is Jensen, the broader brunette in the button-up and blazer is Nick, the biggest with his bushy beard is Sy, and the last one, beside you, with the buzz cut, is Curtis. 

“Nice crown,” Jensen says. “Happy birthday.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you reach up and take of the tiara. “Thanks.” 

“You from here or visiting?” Jerrod asks the men. 

“We work at Stacks.” 

“Programmers?” Vivica snorts. “You might know my ex. Two of them actually.” 

They laugh. You don’t know what’s funny. This is weird. You hate that invisible barrier between you and them, that makes you feel like you’re on a completely different planet. You don’t get this part of the script. The prologue is as far as you ever get. 

“How old are you?” Curtis’ deep timbre startles you as it rolls beneath the chatter of the others. You shift in your seat and twist the glass around. 

“Thirty,” you pick up the Tiara, the 3 and 0 nearly hidden by the feathers. 

“Ah, the big one,” he comments. 

“Yeah, just another year,” you put the plastic crown down. 

“What do you do?” 

You sniff and tap your fingers on the cup. You lift it and drain the last of the fruity juice and stringent vodka. “You don’t have to do this.” 

“Do what?” He asks. 

“My friends are just being goofy. You don’t have to act like you’re into me.” 

“Well, I’m not much of an actor. Never was into theatre,” he says. “I wouldn’t know, would I? Just trying to get to know you, figure that out.” 

“Really,” you give him a sideways look. “Ah,” you hiss in false disappointment, “hate to break the seal but I gotta go the ladies. Excuse me.” 

“Right,” he accepts dully. “How about I get you a refill, for your birthday?” 

“You don’t have to but if you really want to, I could use a ginger ale. Thanks.” You accept as you climb off the stool. 

You cross the bar and stop just at the threshold of the hallway that reads Girls and Boys above. You glance back. Mila has her charming smile on, Vivica is leaning into Sy, and Jerrod and Nick are watching something on his phone. Why can’t you be normal, like them? 

You flinch as you catch Curtis’ eye. His eyes flick to you as he talks to the server. You quickly spin away. You’ll wait until the third round when they’re too tipsy to care. Then you’ll make your exit. 

🍹

The hotel clerk hands you the key card. You don’t make eye contact. If you do, she might see right through you. You shove it in your pocket before the tremour is noticeable. You hurry away to the elevator and tap the button three times. 

You’re not impatient because your eager. You just want to get this over with. Finally. It only took you thirty years. 

The doors open and you step in, relieved that no one else gets on with you. When you’re shut in, you shudder. You’re disgusted. With this. With yourself. But you’re tired. You just want to pull of the bandage. You want to know what all the fuss is about so you can say you’re not missing out on anything. 

Ever since your birthday, since that pathetic deja vu of going home alone, of your friends stealing the attention on what the claim was your night, you haven’t been able to stop those thought. You’re pathetic. A loser. No wonder it’s hasn’t happened yet. Who would want to touch you? They barely want to talk to you. They wouldn’t if you weren’t a leech on your friends’ ankles. 

The doors open and jar you. You stagger then march out. You slide the card out and check the room number again. Your hands shake so bad it takes you five tries to get the green light. 

Inside the room, the nausea swells in your stomach. Your teeth chatter. You go into the bathroom and put the bag on the counter. You dig out the anti-nausea medicine and read the insert; take one or two. Do not take with alcohol. 

You pop the pink pill in your mouth and swallow. You look at your reflection. You look as scared as you feel. No time to waste, you’ve done enough of that. 

You start with the shower. You wash every crook and crevice. You check your legs and under your arms. You only shaved yesterday night but you don’t need any pricklies. And your pelvis. You did a decent enough job trimming that down. 

You get out and moisturise. You don’t want to smell. For once in your life, you don’t want to feel repugnant. You’re not some romantic. You thought of buying lingerie but that only seemed sadder. So you put on a pair of grey jersey pajamas, just a tank top and shorts. 

You don’t want to look like this is a big deal. That you tried too hard. You do your hair and a little bit of makeup. Too much would just get messy anyway. Deodorant, perfume, and mouthwash. You’re as fresh as can be. 

And anxious! 

You take out the box of condoms. You don’t think the pills are working. You want to vomit, even though you haven’t eaten. You grab your phone and check the messages. Shoot, it’s a lot later than you thought. 

‘Cashapp?’ 

Fuck, you forgot. You quickly flip over to your menu and sign in. You send the money and your chest drops. This is it. That’s a hefty wad of cash. You hope it’s worth it. 

You reply to the text; ‘sent’ then the room number. There. Done deal. It’s going to happen. Then you can say, yeah, did it, no big deal. 

You go into the suite and put your phone on the night table. You sit on the bed for a whole second before you bounce off. No, you can’t stay there. No, no, no. You pace and wring your hands as you wait. 

The knock trips you up. You turn to stare at the door and like a horror movie, your eyes widen and your ears ring. He’s here. 

You near the door and stop to look through the key hole. There’s a trickle of relief. He looks like the pictures her sent. That’s good. 

You open the door a crack and look out. He looks annoyed as he checks his watch then tugs on the lapels of his jacket. It looks like a designer; the lining has little emblems on it. He says your name, “that’s you, right?” 

“Hugh? Right?” You blink and he nods as he cheek ticks, “er, come in.” 

You pull back the door and press yourself to the wall. He struts in and clicks his tongue in his cheek. He examines the room as he shrugs out of his jacket and slings it over the small bench against the wall. You close the door and he whistles. You face him as he tilts his head, looking you up and down. 

“Smells good in here,” he grins and smooths his tidy hair. 

Despite who and what he is, he’s handsome. Well, that probably helps. It’s why you paid half your savings for one night. You sway slightly then swallow down the despair. You’re doing it. You’re really going to do it. 

A fucking prostitute. That’s as good as you can do. 

“How about some music,” he approaches the speaker under the television, “think these things have bluetooth now.” 

“Sure,” you croak, watching him as you cross your arms. It’s not too late. No, you don’t think you’ll get a refund now. 

He takes out his phone and swipes around. He holds a button on the sound bar and it chimes. Soft R&B drawls from the speaker. You bite your thumb as you stare at him. 

“So...” he looks at you. 

You nod and clear your throat. You don’t know what to do. You don’t think the whole foreplay thing is going to happen. 

He drags his hands down his cream sweater. He doesn’t really dress like an escort. Or maybe you just put too much trust in movies. He lifts the hem as you stay as you are. Your feet are glued to the floor. 

He strips off the sweater and reveals a muscled torso and a thicket of dark hair across his chest. You don’t expect it as he sports a clean shave on his jaw. You clamp down on your arms as you keep them folded across your chest. 

“Like what you see?” He winks and bites his lips. 

He’s good. You almost believe him. If you weren’t missing a chunk from your bank account, you might. 

“Come on, baby, why don’t you get some wine going,” he purrs. 

A distraction. Thank god. You go to the bar fridge and take out one of the mini bottles of white wine. You peel off the foil over the cap but can’t break the seal. You struggle, trying to hide your effort, but sense him coming close. 

“I just need to find some glass,” you say. 

He chuckles and takes the bottle. His blue eyes devour you as he cracks the seal and flicks the cap away. He drinks directly from the bottle and smirks. 

“No need. Go on,” he offers it up. 

Your lips twitch and you take the bottle. You drink, nearly gagging. You swallow and hand it back. He swigs as he watches you. 

He is so good looking. You wonder how he even got into this. He’s built like a god. No, a gladiator. You’re such a frigging dweeb. 

“Hey, you don’t gotta be uptight,” he gives the wine back to you, “relax, enjoy the wine. You paid for the night. No hurry.” 

You nod and drink again. It goes down easier. You return the bottle to him and he strides to the bed. He sits and pats the other side of the mattress.  

“Come here, sweetheart.” 

You quiver and lock your arms straight. You are conscious of every single part of you as you near him. You sit stiffly and stare ahead. The music drones as he gulps again. He bends forward to set the empty bottle on the floor. 

You wince as he drapes his arm over your shoulders. He traces the strap of your tank top and pulls you against him. You shiver as he brushes up your neck. 

“This your first time?” 

You twitch then make yourself nod. You wait for him to laugh. He doesn’t. 

“Well, let’s go slow, then.” 

“No,” you erupt. “I mean--” you grip your knees and steady yourself. “I want to just do it. Get it over with.” You grit your teeth and force a breath out your nose. “There’s condoms in the bathroom.” 

Now he laughs. “Huh, you know what you want.” 

You don’t reply. You can’t. That was the last of your courage or whatever you want to call it. 

He goes into the bathroom and you list as he opens the box. He emerges and examines the square wrapper. It looks even smaller in his large hand. He rests his other on the top of his pants. 

“How do you want it?” He asks. 

You stare at him. How do you want it? You don’t know. You raise your brows helplessly. 

“Wanna get naked?” He suggests. 

You look at the bed. You blink long and hard. Your head feels fuzzy. Must be the wine. 

“Right,” he sighs and undoes his zipper. You peek up long enough to see the top of his boxers. You back away and crawl up the bed. 

You face away from him as you strip off your shirt, then your shorts. You jitter as you lay down flat like a plank. You stare at the ceiling as the wrapper crinkles. He groans as he comes closer to the bed. 

“I like these ones,” he puts a knee on the bed. 

Your breath is like thunder. You feel like your suffocating. He touches your leg and you squeak. 

“Gonna have to open up, baby,” he pets your knee. 

You let him drag your legs apart. You can’t do it yourself. You wipe your face with a shaky hand. 

“Don’t worry, I got you.” 

Your eyes snap to him as something clicks. He holds a small bottle with a black label. He squirts the clear oil onto his fingers then reaches between your legs. You return your gaze to the ceiling before he makes contact. 

He rubs the cool lube between your folds. Your thighs quake as he glides up and down. Over and over until the moisture is more than just from the bottle. 

He tickles your entrance and you tense. He rasps as he circles around, “relax.” He pokes a finger into you and you clench. He wiggles it and hushes you as you whimper. “Look, you’re not gonna like it if you don’t chill.” 

He sinks his finger further in then pulls it out again. You blow your breath out and suck it back in as he dips inside once more. You clasp the duvet beneath you as he fingers you rhythmically. Your pussy trembles around him. 

“That’s it, baby,” he pushes a second finger into you. “You wanna be ready, huh? I mean... it’s your first time, you gotta be ready.” 

The comment is like a slap across the face. Still, you can’t focus on his words. Your eyes feel fuzzy and your body is alight with a spectrum of tingles. 

He rocks his hand and you lift your pelvis slightly. He presses his thumb against your clit and you gasp. The mix of pressure and motion is intense. You’re not completely clueless. That toy your friends gave you isn’t the only one you have, you just never used one inside of you. 

You push your head down into the pillows and moan. He hums in approval and brushes his other hand up your stomach. He rolls his thumb around your nipple. 

“Yeah, like that, relax,” he pushes deeper and you whine, little pouts coming as you dig your heels into the mattress. “Oh, my god, baby, you’re going to cum, aren’t you?” 

You squeal as you spasm. It’s not your first orgasm but it’s the best one you’ve ever had. It’s wild how different it is with someone, anyone, else. You shake as your voice unfurl and your cunt squelches around his fingers. He cooes at you as he eases you through your climax. 

“Was that so bad?” He wiggles his fingers before he pulls them free. “Huh? Think you liked that.” He gets up on his knees and moves between your legs. He strokes his dick, swollen inside the rubber sheath. “Think you’ll like this a whole lot better.” 

You lift your head dozily and stare at him. He’s big. Long and thick. That dildo was probably smaller than him and you left it in the package. 

He moves closer and you let out a surprised chitter. He caresses your thigh and hushes you as he grips your hip. He pumps himself with his other hand and angles his tip along your lips. 

“You said you wanted to get it done,” he pushes his blunt tip along your entrance. “Don’t hold your breath, baby.” 

He pushes into you and you cry put. Oh. That’s not good. The blinding pain ripples through you. This is different too. Not like his fingers. He’s... 

“Too big,” you rasp. “Please-- ah, ah, ah.” 

“Come on, baby, you can take it,” he growls as he inches into you. “Once it’s in, it’ll feel better.” He impales you down to his base and snarls as he leans his head back. He rolls his shoulders and shudders. “Fuck, it’s been a while since I had a virgin cunt.” 

Flames of humiliation lick at you. This man who fucks for a living is taking your virginity like it’s a prize. Another deposit in the bank. Why did you do this? 

“Hugh,” you eke out his name and reach down, pressing your fingertips to his stomach. “I don’t want--” 

He thrusts and you shriek. Your lips form and O as your head falls back down. You whimper as your body shakes uncontrollably. Your fingers furl into fists and your toes curl. 

“Baby, you said you wanted this. You paid for it,” he grabs your wrists and moves your hands above your head, locking them there as he holds himself above you. “Ah, fuck.” He rams into you again and your tears spill over. “Ah, ah, ah,” he continues to thrust, “you are fucking tight. Ah.” 

He closes his eyes as his nostrils flair and he groans, “the way you’re squeezing me--” 

“Please,” you snivel and he snaps his pelvis into yours. You push your legs wider, trying to ease the pressure. “Ow. You’re hurt—ing me.” 

“Argh, yes, oh,” he ruts into you harder and harder. 

The springs of the bed bounce you against him as his pace turns furious. He puffs like an animal as his eyes blare down at you. You writhe and sob, your face wet with horror and humiliation. Your flesh claps together slickly as he raises himself only to drop down with all his weight. Again and again and again. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Baby, you hear that. Your first time and you got about to blow,” he sneers. “Tell me you want me to cum.” 

You gurgle helplessly and he slams into you, “tell me.” 

“Please--” You squeal. “Please just cum. Just...” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he grunts as he batters you. 

“Please cum--” 

He bucks wildly and lets out a bellowing roar. He pushes his head up and drones through his climax as he fucks you into the bed. You close your eyes and turn your head away. He slows as your heart pounds in your temples and your skin scalds. What did you do? 

He lets go of your wrists and pulls out of you all at once. He leaves you splayed on the bed. His footfalls slap away to the bathroom and the faucet runs. You don’t dare move, hoping that if you don’t, this will all just turn out to be a nightmare. 

🛏️

You touch your wrist and rip your hand away as if you’ve been burned. The bruises are tender. All of you is, but especially... that part of you. 

You have a pillow under you as you sit on your couch. You can barely put your weight on your pelvis. Each time a pang strikes, you remember that horrible mistake. Now you can really say that it isn’t all it’s made out to be. It’s not worth it. 

You lean on the armrest and stare at the television. You don’t see the faces or hear the words. Like the rest of the world, it’s now a fog. Like that night. The box for the pills said not to mix with alcohol. 

You lean your head in your hand. You don’t want to think about it. That’s worse than what happened. The memory. That never ends. 

Your phone buzzes. You ignore it. Vivica called several times. Jerrod once, and all Mila sent was some Tiktok you don’t care about. 

The table continues to vibrate. It agitates you. You get up and stumble. You cup between your legs. You wear only a sleep shirt. You don’t want anything to chafe. You grab your phone and check the ID. Who the heck? 

You answer, “hello?” 

“Hi, is this...” the timbre asks. Do you know them. 

“Uh, yeah, is this the pharmacy?” 

There’s a silence, “uh, no, it’s Curtis.” 

“Curtis,” you repeat. 

“From the bar?” He says uncertainly. 

You already know that. You just don’t believe it. You frown. 

“How did you get my number?” 

“Your friend. Viv. Sorry, I... I guess I shoulda asked you but you left so early.” 

“Why?” You ask then cringe at your own stupidity. 

“Why... because... I want to ask you out. I’m not good at beating around the bush, you know, but you don’t really give a guy a chance.” 

“Asking me out?” 

“Trying.” 

You’re quiet again. It’s like sledge hammer shattering your reality. A couple days ago, you’d be giddy. Not it’s ironic. After what you did. Another laugh in the face. 

“So, did I... just embarrass myself here or...” he huffs. You feel bad. 

You never gave him a chance. You never gave yourself a chance. And now you spoiled it all. You can’t bring yourself to take out your self-hatred on him again. You can humour him for one date. Then you can say, at least, that you’ve done that too. 

“Um, alright,” you agree, wishing it was happier, wishing that it could be different. You’ll have to figure out how to let him down easy. Although Mila says ghosting is even easier. “Sure.” 

“Sure,” he echoes you. “Don’t sound so excited.” 

“Ha, sorry,” you turn and rub your neck. “Yes. Let me know what works for you.” 

“I can do that,” he sounds relieved. “I’ll text you in a minute.” 

“Alright,” you hold back a scoff. “Thanks for calling, Curtis.” 

“No, thank you.” 

He hangs up and you turn the phone to silent. Your eyes sting as you lay it face down on the table and walk away. Things could have been so much different if you weren’t so damn stupid. He’ll figure that out and maybe you won’t have to be the one to break it off. 

[sanguineterrain]

sanne, did i think i'd be thrown back into my criminal minds obsession in 2024? no but i fear you may have convinced me. anyway! going to the bau christmas party with spencer and getting caught under the mistletoe. morgan's cheering you on and everyone's staring so you settle things with a quick peck on the cheek and try and get through the rest of the party without thinking too hard about how nice that felt. the party's winding down and he's walking you out only the two of you get caught under the mistletoe again.

not really a request or anything, just a thought that won't let me go.

xoxo @sunnie-angel

it's past christmas but wtev this idea was too good 🙏💕 spencer x fem!reader

****

"Hey," you say, gently bumping Spencer's shoulder. "Found you."

He looks up, confused. "I wasn't hiding."

"I know. Just needed a break, right?"

The great thing about Spencer is that you both understand the need to take a moment when you're overstimulated. And something you two have in common is that parties can overwhelm you.

"Yeah," he says, seemingly relieved that he doesn't have to defend himself. "Just needed a break."

"I can go if you'd like. I won't tell anyone you're camped out here."

He shakes his head. "No, that's alright. You're nice to be around. I don't, uh..." He's searching for the right words. You're sure he'll find them. Spencer always does. "I don't feel like I have to put on a show with you."

"You don't," you say. "The others would understand too, though."

He shrugs. You leave it at that.

Spencer's tucked himself in a chair in Rossi's giant den. In his lap is a book titled in German. You bend down to read the cover. He tilts it for you to see.

"Brüder Grimm," you say. "Of course you know German."

Spencer hums noncommittally, ever modest. "Not well. I've been trying to get better. Reading children's books is a good way to learn, actually. The simple verb tenses make for a decent first step."

You lean against the arm of the adjacent sofa. "Spencer, you astound me."

He smiles, bright and sweet. "Thanks."

Agh. That smile cuts right through you. When are you ever going to shake this crush?

"Eggnog?" you ask, nodding at his mug.

"Oh, no, this is cider. I'm not good with alcohol, and I've seen how much rum goes into Rossi's eggnog." Spencer presses his lips together. "I'm trying not to make any decisions I'll regret tonight."

You laugh. "A good choice."

"Yeah."

"Well, I can get you a refill," you say.

Spencer stands. You follow him.

"That's okay. I'll go with you. I wanted another one of JJ's brownies. Have you had them?"

"No, I haven't."

"You have to try one," he says seriously. "She used science to make them perfect. And they are perfect."

"Is that your professional opinion, Doctor?"

Spencer laughs quietly, his head ducking close to yours. It makes your heart thunder in your chest.

"If the CDC let me, I'd vouch for them on national news."

You're headed to the kitchen, side by side, when Derek suddenly turns the corner and knocks into Spencer, causing him to bump you. You reach out a hand to steady Spencer.

"Sorry," he says to you, before irritably turning to Derek. "Morgan, what—"

"Sorry, pretty boy," Derek says with a glittering grin, clearly tipsy. "Totally my fault. I spill anything on you?"

"Not this time," Spencer says, and there's clearly a story behind that.

Derek just laughs. "You disappeared on us." He looks at you. "But it seems like you found him."

"I was in the den reading," Spencer cuts in, effectively stopping that train of thought.

Derek almost seems disappointed. "Oh." Then his eyes drift behind you, and the gleam returns. "Oh-ho-ho, what have we here?"

He points above your heads, and there, taped to the wall sconce, is a sprig of mistletoe.

Your stomach swoops. Spencer looks at you, eyes wide. As if you have any more of an idea on how to handle this.

Derek, meanwhile, is slinking up to you both like a panther. "You know what that means."

You roll your eyes. "Grow up. Where does it say that kissing under the mistletoe is compulsory?"

"Ah, so you're chicken," he says. "Garcia!"

And there's Penelope, equally if not more tipsy, rounding the corner, followed by Emily. Penelope sees Spencer and waves, then blows a kiss at you.

"Hi, guys!" she says, a touch too loud.

"Sweetheart, you see that? Rules are rules, right?" Derek says, pointing at the mistletoe.

Penelope takes a second to understand, and then she lights up. "Oh, definitely! Slip her some tongue, Reid!"

"Garcia!" Spencer says, scandalized. He turns to you, ears pink. "I wouldn't—"

"I know," you say, equally mortified by what is happening. Are you that transparent?

"Come on," Emily says, goading, the traitor. She smiles at you knowingly. "Give him some sugar. He'll be a changed man."

You glare at her. "As I was saying, mistletoe means nothing. Spencer doesn't even celebrate Christmas."

"Religiously, no, but the origins of Christmas festivities aren't rooted in Christianity—"

"Doesn't matter! You're just making excuses. Reid's blushing, and you're fidgeting," Derek says happily. Jackass.

"I'm not blushing," Spencer says indignantly, and you're too panicked to check.

"Yeah, sure. C'mon, just do it, Reid. In the spirit of the season," Derek says.

"It's just a kiss!" Penelope says too loud.

Impulsively, you turn your head and lean in. Whatever, right? You can be adults and kiss the coworker who you have a ginormous crush on all in the name of a ridiculous holiday tradition. That's what adults do.

You're aiming for Spencer's cheek. But he must see you in his periphery and turn on instinct.

You miss.

Your audience cheers. You kiss Spencer's mouth for about three seconds before you realize your mistake and you reel back, apology on your lips.

"I'm so—"

"Alright, that's what I'm talking about!" Derek says, whooping. "My man!"

"My woman!" Penelope adds, giving you a thumbs up. Emily just smiles that smug smile.

You sigh exasperatedly. "Alright, show's over. Give it a rest."

Derek obeys, arrogant as hell. They all leave you be. You turn to Spencer again and pull him into the den, desperate to apologize away from prying ears. You're hot with embarrassment and the reality that four profilers just watched you kiss the man who you've been trying to hide your crush on for ages.

"Spencer, really, I'm so sorry. I meant to kiss your cheek."

He nods, pressing his lips together. "Yeah, I figured that about a second in. It's okay."

"Are you sure? If I made you uncomfortable..."

"You didn't. Honestly. There's no one else I'd rather be peer pressured into kissing under the mistletoe," he says matter-of-factly.

You laugh, relieved. Spencer smiles.

"Okay, fair enough," you say. "Thanks for being a good sport."

He shrugs. "Usually, that's the best way to stop Morgan's antics. Still want that brownie?"

"Yes," you say, both happy and not that Spencer's able to move past it so quickly. You follow him into the kitchen.

Because now you know. You know the shape of Spencer's lips and how they fit against your shape. You know and you can't forget.

The rest of the night, you're nervous. You try to put your head back into the party. The team starts a game of charades and you play, but you can't stop stealing looks at Spencer. He's never looking in your direction, though, and an icy feeling overtakes you, a chill you can't shake.

The party's winding down when ugly fate rears its head and you can't shut your dumb mouth.

Spencer's at the top of the stairs and you're two steps below him. He's gotten his coat from the bedroom and you're headed to get yours.

And there, on the banister, is a sprig of mistletoe.

You realize too late that Spencer must've seen it (Spencer sees everything) and chose not to mention it. You don't make the connection until after you speak.

"Suppose we're due for another kiss, huh?" you say, smiling.

Spencer glances at it with a pinch in his brow. "Oh. Um—"

"Sorry." You shake your head. "That was a—a stupid joke! Ha. Forget it."

You start to turn away, this giant house suddenly feeling too small. Spencer catches your wrist.

It's barely an obstacle. You could easily pull away. You don't. How can you?

"I don't want to kiss you under the mistletoe," Spencer says, and the words sink like a rock in your stomach. You've never known Spencer to be cruel. You can't believe he's trying to hurt you, even now.

"Yeah." You pull your wrist out of his grip. "O-okay. I got it, Spencer."

"No, wait!"

Spencer's hand goes to your arm this time, and why is he doing this? He bends slightly, too tall when he's two steps away.

"Can you come to the top of the stairs? Please? I don't want you to fall," he says.

You stay on the stairs, back to him. His hand is still on your arm. "You don't want to kiss me."

"I only want to kiss you if you want to kiss me," he says. "Not because of a silly holiday ritual."

You look at Spencer. He gives you that sweet, cow-eyed look, nervous and pleading at once.

You take his hand and walk up the stairs, leading him away. You go down the dim hallway, where there's no mistletoe, no eggnog, nothing to blame. It's just you and Spencer and something you both want.

"Okay?" you ask, afraid he might still run. It's hard to turn back from a kiss you want.

Spencer locks your fingers with his, holds your cheek, and kisses you for more than three seconds.

[esamastation]

fanciestgeckofella: desmond transmigrates into liu qingge

(This is not that, sorry, but I do have a snippet where Desmond transmigrated into Yue Qingyuan which I don't think I ever posted, so, have that one instead.)

-

First thing to go through Desmond's mind is something along the lines of, Oh fuck, here we go again. Next is complete and absolute bafflement. Because he's pretty sure he's supposed to be dead right now.

That alone is very confusing. Then there is… this thing.

[Welcome to the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way! This System is designed to guide you as you go about your existence in this world. Operating under the guiding principle, You Can You Up, No Can No BB, this System hopes to provide you with an pleasant user experience!]

Desmond blinks at the floating screen in front of him. It… doesn't exactly look like any kind of Animus screen he's ever seen - it actually kind of looks like it's from computer from pre-2000s or something, with blocky grey boarder like something he's seen in old TV shows. No Animus programmer would be caught dead using aesthetic like that. Right?

… Well, actually. He could totally see some retro-loving techie liking it. Not Rebecca, though, she's a futurist through and through, but if she'd been into the old style Window XP or something, it probably wouldn't have taken much effort for her to install some sort of theme - aaand that's completely beside the point.

It's an Animus. He's in the Animus again… somehow. Hm.

"Um," Desmond says out loud, and clears his throat. His voice is weird, different from how it should be. Not that unusual, in the Animus, that, but it feels… more than just having an ancestor transposed over himself. Man, they must've upgraded the Animus a lot while he was, uh… "I'm… aren't I supposed to be… dead?" he asks slowly and feels a bit silly doing it, because he's clearly still around, and yet…

[You have indeed died! Your consciousness has been transferred, and your role has been bound: Yue Qingyuan, the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.]

… Okay, that's a bit different, but he can almost understand it. Consciousness transfer, role bound, that's probably new term for running around in your ancestor's skin. Yue Qingyuan, that's his ancestor this time around then. Cool. Sounds Chinese, which is interesting, Desmond didn't know they had any family there, but hey, Rebecca did say he had ridiculously low pedigree collapse, so that would mean his ancestry spread pretty far, right?

Ezio did have a Chinese student, Shao Jun, so, some pre-existing connections there. Maybe few generations down the line, they became bit closer. Rubbing a hand over his face and finding some of those familiar markers he shared with Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhake:ton - full lips, aquiline nose, high cheekbones… Desmond nods to himself. Yeah, yeah, seems about right.

And yet there's still something just a bit… off.

"Okay," he says, drawing a breath. "I'm still kind of stuck up on the being dead part. Did you reboot my DNA or something? How am I here being, like, a living - or at least a thinking - person?"

The System window seems to consider this for a moment before answering.

[Your consciousness was captured from your dead body and transferred into your new role.]

Oh.

Desmond squints. "Captured how?"

[Your consciousness was captured from your dead body and transferred into your new role.]

… helpful.

So it was the Grand Temple - the Grand Temple did something? He'd been digitised like Clay and Juno, maybe? Okay, yeah, cool, that makes sense. Not sure how well he likes it yet, but hey, he's around, he's thinking, maybe sorta-kinda living and breathing - it's a step above from not… doing those things. Yeah. He can do this. "Nice. And who's Yue Qi-qin - how do you say that name, again? Who is he?"

[Yue Qingyuan is the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, also known as the Xuan Su sword.]

Desmond hums in understanding, eying the window, waiting for more. Nothing more comes, so he says slowly. "… Okay. And what am I supposed to do with him? I mean. What are we after here? Another piece of Eden, or… what?" he asks, folding his - folding Yue Qingyuan's - arms. "What is the mission status?"

[…]

That's all he gets. Literal ellipses, before the System window slowly flattens and disappear, leaving him blinking at empty air.

"… O-kay…?" Desmond mutters, making a face. "That was weird."

He'd never been left hanging in the Animus before. Not cool. The whole initialisation here process was a bit weird, really. Almost feels like they'd left him with an automated answering machine version of the Animus UI, or something. Was he even talking to an actual person there? What the heck. Why resurrect his consciousness at all, if they're not going to tell him what he's supposed to do here? Even Vidic didn't leave him completely in the dark…

Who resurrected him anyway? The Assassins or the Templars?

Uncertain, Desmond glances around for some sort of guidance or clue. The place is nice, and the graphic quality has gone through some incredible upgrades, like, damn. You'd almost mistake it for reality. But there is something seriously off about this. Not just the weird answering machine Animus, but… everything, really.

It doesn't feel like any Animus he's ever been in either. Usually when he starts out, it's as a passive viewer in his ancestor's memory - it takes a bit before he gets control and even then it's sorta not… not full control. Desmond is more used to being the passenger to his ancestor's actual driver. There's never not a moment where he doesn't feel like a second wheel on a unicycle.

Here, it's just him at the steering wheel, just him on the pedals. There's no other mind, no framework of another life - no shell of a person that once was. It's just him, in another body. Weird.

The terminology used was weird too - nothing like the lingo Rebecca or Shaun would've used. You can you up? No can no BB? What does that even mean?

Desmond rubs at his chin for a moment - baby smooth, not even a stubble - and then shrugs his shoulders and goes to get up. Might as well take a look around and try and figure out the limitations of this version of Animus. And it's not like he knew anything about Altaïr or the others either, not before getting the synchronisation up and running, so… better get started with that.

It's still a bit weird though. Usually he gets thrown into a cut scene first to get started with. Waking up in someone's - frankly rather fancy - bedroom is new. Ezio not counting.

Oh well.

-

And then he walks out under dressed and scandalises all the disciples on Qiong Ding Peak.

Alas that is as far as it got really, but the idea of Desmond as Yue Qingyuan is still weirdly dear to me.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

feixiao. M16A1. Need drunk women who love rambling on about their S/O

(H:SR/GFL) Feixiao and M16A1 drunk rambling on about their S/O

Feixiao is very open with her love about S/O.

Very VERY open as a matter of fact. And that volume only increases when she's drinking.

Whatever S/O wants her to do, they have zero say because Feixiao is not home right now.

And unfortunately(??? Idk I think it's probably safe to assume we'll be into it) for them, PDA conduct goes out the window.

Not that there was much there to begin with it, but now Feixiao is now actively peppering S/O with kisses.

(Feixiao) "You're...so pretty! Have I ever told you how pretty you are?"

(S/O) "C-CAN'T BREATHE!"

If there was someone in the room with them, she'd essentially drag them over and point at them.

(Feixiao) "S-SEE THIS PERSON?! THIS PERSON IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!"

And who exactly is going to have the balls to tell the General this is the 30th time they've shown S/O to them?

Well, plenty of people actually, but there's the question of whether or not she's sober enough to hear or cares enough.

The answer to both is no.

Absolutely no one is going to pry her off of them if she has an arm around S/O. Moze, Jiaoqiu, The Trailblazer, and more are powerless before the General.

Thankfully in her drunken state, she doesn't get TOO handsy in public. At least nothing that'd require them to get a room.

That would be when S/O gets her home.

The moment Feixiao sees the main focus of her affection snuggle into bed with her, seeing them smile and laugh because of her?

(M16A1) "S/OOOOOO!~"

(S/O) "Oh good god..."

M16A1 has once again drank herself to near system shutdown with Jack Daniels, and is somehow coherent enough to see S/O.

If they don't respond to her, she'll stumble over to them, both arms wrapped around them before she nuzzles her head into their neck.

(M16A1) "Hmmmmm...warm! You humans are really cozy to get close to!"

(S/O) "Sixteen, please lower your volume a li-"

(M16A1) "Mwah!~"

M16A1 plants a firm kiss on their neck making S/O shudder before almost collapsing on top of them, shouting loudly enough for everyone in the bar to hear, much to S/O's horror.

(M16A1) "IF ANYONE TOUCHES MY S/O! I'LL...I'LL...Uh..."

(M4 SOPMOD II's Voice) "KICK THEIR BUTT!"

(M4A1's Voice) "SOPMOD, don't encourage her!-"

(M16A1) "YEAH! KICK YOUR ASS!"

It's up to S/O to carry M16A1 out of the bar and back to their dorm, due to the noise complaints she gets.

Though at this point, the bartender is well aware of M16A1, and that's not even because of S/O. It's just everything else about her in general.

And in the hallways, she's still going on.

(M16A1) "And the way you frown is- hic! ...S-Super hot!"

S/O can only blush in retaliation, as no words will actually reach her.

M4A1 is with S/O and her sister, helping pry M16A1 off them.

(S/O) "Thanks."

(M16A1) "Nooooo!~ Bring them back to me!"

(M4A1) "Hush, you. I thought I told you not to drink so much tonight!"

(S/O) sigh "...M4, can you help me carry her to my room? I'm sorry to ask you-"

(M16A1) "YEAAAAH!-"

M16A1 nearly falls on her face before her sister catches her.

(M4A1) "Hah, I guess I'd be struggling to wrangle her otherwise..."

(M16A1) "Only thing I'm wrangling around is-"

(S/O & M4A1) "SIXTEEN!"

[chenlezip]

tell your friends ♡

PAIRING : fratboy!haechan x reader (lil bit of mark x reader too)

SUMMARY : you tell your friends you hate him but you can't get enough.

WARNINGS : smut, jealousy (i guess?), arguing, roughish haechan, mention of a one night stand, swearing.

A/N : heres part 2 finally !! part 1 is here <3 hopefully you guys enjoy this - obviously its clear i don't know how to write a part 2 but i did my best! im really bad with putting warnings so pls let me know if i've left anything out! love you all !!

karina looked up from her phone and you were already at the bar, glaring down haechan with a fiery gaze. she gulped, looking beside her to winter and she shrugged - there was nothing they could do now, you weren't going to back down.

you looked at haechan and the girl who was leeching off of him, her drunken giggles and words ringing in your ears. you scoffed and ordered a drink, "fratboys.." you mumble under your breath. haechan had obviously heard you though as he turns around and smirked, "something wrong?"

"what do you think?" he just chuckled softly in return to your cold tone of voice, he found it quite entertaining how easy it was to get under your skin. he could tell you were growing feelings for him in the times you've both shared and he couldn't lie.. he was starting to feel something for you too but his ego would never let him admit that out loud (maybe).

you just got up from the bar. if he wanted to play this little game, so could you.

you set your eyes on a cute boy, you knew he was close with haechan, mark lee. time to shoot your shot. you walk over to him, hips swaying as you walked, smiling at him. "hey, mark right?" you ask softly as the said latter turned his head to you, leaning down so his lips were hovering just near your ear, "yeah. i'm mark, you baby?"

you blush and you lean into him as well, "y/n." mark raised a brow - he recognised your name because of haechan but he wasn't going to complain if he had a chance with you tonight.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

haechan had noticed both you and mark, flirting with one another and the lingering touches that get a bit too touchy. you were currently sat on marks lap, leaning into him as his hand was on your thigh, rubbing your inner thigh. even your friends could see what you were doing - trying to get under haechan's skin like he was with yours.

before things could get any further between the both of you, haechan stormed over and grabbed your hand, pulling you away from mark. he lead you outside, you were trying to ask what he was doing but he didn't respond, he was too pissed to even think right now.

as soon as the cold air hit you this time though, you winced at how cold it became, it was a lot later in the night now. haechan let go of you and turned around, "so what was that with mark, huh?"

"what are you on about? as if you didn't have a girl leeching off of you half the night.. you have no right to act like this, lee donghyuck. i know your type and i kept reminding myself to not fall for a player like you yet i did. i went to mark because i was sick of it-" "oh so you just thought that you could do that type of shit with mark? when you were saying the last time we fucked that you were mine, do i need to remind you? trying to have a fucking one night stand with mark won't make you forget about me."

you scoffed, "you're so fucking full of yourself, what do you want from me at this point because you're pushing and pulling with me. i hate you. i will never find myself in your bed ever-fucking-again."

that was a lie. here you were now, in his bed as he tore his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor and crawling between your legs. "say you want this, say you do and i'll remind you who you belong to but if you don't want this.. i'll get away from you."

you gulped, staring into his beautiful brown doe eyes as he looked down on you. you swore you wouldn't do this but he was too irresistible and he felt amazing.. your feelings for him also pushed you to the edge and you spoke up, "i do want this, please.. want you hyuck, fuck i need you so bad."

that was all he needed to hear before he was pulling your skirt up and moving your panties down your legs, throwing them somewhere on his floor. he unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down with his boxers, his dick slapping against his stomach. "you ready, baby? don't need to prep you do i?"

"no- no, you don't just.. please.." you begged. haechan bit his lip as he shoved himself inside of you, his dick stretching your walls so deliciously once again that he thought he was going to cum straight away. he had to inch himself slowly in you, bottoming out once he was fully inside and taking a breather, "you always swallow me in, your pussy always does this. it's like i haven't fucked you enough.."

a couple minutes later and he's pounding into you roughly, gripping your hair and shoving your head into his pillows. the sound of skin slapping and soft moans and groans to be heard echoing around his bedroom.

"didn't like seeing you with mark, the way he touched you made me crazy.. you're mine and only mine, understood? i can't get enough of you.." you moaned out in response, you couldn't speak, his dick making you dumb. he noticed this and chuckled, the feeling sending another wave of pleasure throughout you as you whimper, "hyuck.."

"hm? what's that baby? did you say something or have i fucked you dumb enough already?" he pulls your hair, pressing you up against his chest as he left small marks on your neck. "don't want you with anyone else.. swore i wouldn't like you but i ended up liking you anyway, didn't i?" he panted out, and you just let out a small whine, "hyuck.. please, can't last any longer.."

"wait until i'm gonna cum baby - won't be much longer, promise.. you feel so good, feel you clenching around me. listen to me and be a good girl, yeah? like you and this pretty pussy so much." he noticed your eyes closing and he tapped your cheek with his free hand, "come on baby, pay attention." he smirked. he moved it down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles.

you couldn't hold back, you shuddered as you felt your climax releasing on his dick, he groaned and let out a small whine, his dick twitching inside of you as he released. he muttered out that he couldn't help but like you, you're perfect for him. he rode you through your high before pulling out and staring at your fucked out state.

"fuck.." he whispered as he grabbed a towel from his dresser, cleaning you up and laying you comfortably on his bed. he always took such good care of you after he was rough, giving you princess treatment.

"hyuck?" you ask softly as he looked at you, "mm-hmm?"

"do you really like me? i'm not just someone you're messing with?" "we'll talk about this tomorrow when you're tired, okay?" he responded and you just replied with a nod. he shuffled into his bed beside you, pulling you closer by your waist and pressing your body against his, "promise i'll tell you how i really feel, 'kay?"

[shellsarepretty]

siblings or dating?

Walker Scobell x fem!Reader

warnings: none :)

there isn't much romantic stuff in this, and its more platonic than anything.

summary: tv insiders interview when they reflect on their chemistry tests, but you as annabeth <3

ps, there's an extra scene at the bottom

-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()

You and Walker were best friends for years. Ever since you landed the role of Emma Reed, Adam Reed's twin sister, you two were inseparable.

You Facetimed so much when Walker was away filming Secret Headquarters, and he Facetimed you when you filmed You're So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah.

You guys were glued at the hip, and fans loved your platonic relationship. That was until you got the role of Annabeth Chase and Walker got the role of Percy Jackson.

Fans looked at your history with each other and didn't see you guys platonically, no, they saw you two romantically.

--

It was a TV insiders interview, and you, Walker, and Aryan sat on three different chairs in a straight line. You were on the left, Walker was in the middle, and Aryan was on the right.

"I'd love to hear the story of your first chemistry test as a trio. Like what scene did you read? Did you know in your gut that day that it would be the three of you? Like, tell me about that experience. How did it go?" The interviewer asked.

You thought for a second. "Well, me and Walker already had a few chemistry reads before Aryan like- came with us. We had two Grover's before Aryan." You said, using your hands to speak.

Walker nodded. "Yeah, it was actually really funny because Y/n and I were maybe the same height, and the Aryan was just," he put his hand up high, showing how tall Aryan was. "He was so much taller than us."

At that, Aryan just laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, I was trying to talk to Aryan, but I had to look up to him, and then I talked to Walker and I didn't have to do anything." You laughed, and Walker and Aryan joined in quickly as well.

"Sorry Aryan," you started.

"Oh no.." the brunette boy whispered.

"But my favorite chemistry test was probably the first one I ever did with Walker because I didn't tell him that I was auditioning for Annabeth." You giggled, and Walker started laughing.

"Yeah, I remember that. I was so excited because I just got off of the Zoom with Rick Riordan, and I called Y/n," he made a phone with his hand and put it up to his ear. "and I was like, Y/n! Guess what? I got the role!" Y/n laughed at this, copying his motions.

"Woah Walker! You got Percy?" You said through your hand.

"Yeah! I got to go bye!"Walker said, hanging up his hand-phone. You both laughed.

"I knew that I kept wanting to audition for Annabeth, but I thought it might be weird because I played Emma Reed in the Adam Project, and Walker played my twin brother, and it was like a sibling relationship. But now, it's kinda like a love interest, so I didn't tell him." You cracked your knuckles.

"So I was the last Annabeth that he had to read with, and Walker was so tired because he had like five Annabeths before me-" Walker cut you off quietly.

"Seven." He said.

You and Aryan both looked at him. "Seven?" both of you shouted. Walker nodded.

"Seven." He repeated.

"Woah.." you trailed off. Then you remembered what you were talking about. "Anyways, uhm.. Mr. Riordan called my name, and I wish you could've seen Walker's face." You laughed. Walker started laughing too.

"I honestly was so surprised and so happy, because I was so tired. Like I heard her name, and I turned around so quick." He said.

"I know! I'm honestly surprised that you didn't see me before that." You laughed.

"Well, I stood up to go meet with him up in the middle of the room, and we just started laughing. Like- I looked at him, and he started to like to do this," you pointed to Walker's face as he made the trying so hard to not laugh face he usually has on. "and I completely lost it. We both started dying, like rolling on the ground." You continued, Walker and Aryan laughing too.

"There were so many people watching us just laugh, and I was so embarrassed afterward. We also did the thing where you stop laughing, but then the other person starts doing their slate, and you start laughing again." You said.

"It was so bad, but we finally pulled ourselves together, and the scene actually went great." Walker nodded.

"The first scene we did together was the consensus song, in the bus." You laughed and started to clap your hands together. "That's when I had to act like Walker and Aryan were crazy, which honestly wasn't that hard." You teased.

"Hey!" Both of the boys protested. You laughed.

"Kidding..not really." You said, and they laughed harder.

"Uhm, When we did our first chemistry read together, I was honestly so scared because the laughing part wasn't that great for Y/n's chances, no offense." Walker laughed. Y/n shook her head smiling.

"None taken."

"And Mr. Riordan and the directors put Me with other Annabeths for like- I don't know, a week maybe?" Walker tilted his head to the side. "But then, they invited Y/n back, and we didn't laugh, and we actually did great. We did the scene where she like- finds me in the bathroom, and like is kinda mean to me, and I just beat up Clarise and her friends. And right after that, I knew that she was going to be Annabeth. She nailed it perfectly." Walker finished.

"Aww, thank you!" You grinned at him.

"But for Aryan," Walker stated, teasing. "When he auditioned, I knew that he was not the one. I could just feel it in my gut like-" Walker sighed deeply through his nose.

"I was super lucky because I was the like- the only person that tried out for Grover. Like no one else submitted for him." Walker started to laugh, but he tried to hide it.

"E-exactly.." The blonde started to chuckle.

"They only auditioned me, that's the only reason why I'm here." Aryan laughed.

"The only reason is crazy." You laughed. Walker and Aryan joined you.

"No, but both of them were amazing. Like, it was perfect casting." Walker admitted, smiling at both of you.

"I'm just thinking about how tired Walker was when we did our chemistry read for all of us." Aryan put in. You all nodded your heads.

"Once again, I had like- four Annabeth's, and eleven Grovers before Aryan," Walker said.

"I thought it was seven!" Aryan exclaimed. Walker shook his head.

"No, it was eleven."

"Yeah, he's right. I'm counting them right now, wow that's actually insane." You said, glancing at Walker. Aryan laughed and shook his head.

"I just vividly remember Walker after all three of us did the chemistry read together. They were like- 'Okay, so we're going to switch it up a bit' and Walker was like, 'That wasn't it?'

"They had to have a lot of tin cans to provide." The interviewer laughed.

Everyone else smiled.

"Well, I would love for you to imagine yourselves in maybe one or two years and imagine that you've just finished filming the final series of Percy Jackson. What would you want to say to your future self?" The interviewer asked. The trio thought for a bit.

"How'd you get so jacked?" Walker said. Aryan and you started laughing, and Aryan hastily agreed.

"Uhm, don't mess it up?" Aryan said, but it came out more like a question.

"Yeah." Walker nodded his head.

"I would ask her if she was able to take home stuff from set." You said, laughing to yourself.

"Honestly, that's so true." Aryan chuckled.

"I would ask about, like- everything that we did wrong, and just not do those things." Walker smiled. You laughed.

"In all seriousness, as I would just say good job, and you made it!" You smiled softly, a little embarrassed that you got sappy.

"That's a sweet one." The interviewer chuckled.

"I would ask when we are going to film Hero's of Olympus next," Walker admitted.

"Yes!" You agreed with him.

"That's a really good one." Aryan nodded. You smiled.

"Alright, that's all for now. Thank you guys!" Your interviewer called out, and the Zoom meeting clicked off the screen.

-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()

!EXTRA SCENE!

You and Walker settled in your chairs, smiling and laughing as the cameras started to click on. You, Walker, and Ryan were doing the TODAY show interview.

The background behind you guys was purple and sparkly with Ryan Reynolds, Walker Scobell, and Y/n L/n, in bold white letters.

The first interviewer was Hoda, a brunette, and the second was Jenna, a blonde.

"And we are..rolling!" The person behind the camera yelled out.

"Okay, we all know the name of Ryan Reynolds who starred in dozens of films in Hollywood." Jenna led on. "But two names that you may not know, but you will know very soon, Walker Scobell and Y/n L/n." Jenna finished.

"Yeah, they both are the best. Walker and Y/n are teaming up with Ryan for their very first movie, Netflix's The Adam Project." Hoda starts.

"Ryan plays a time-traveling pilot that crash lands in 2022, and teams up with his younger self, played by Walker, and his non-deceased twin sister, played by Y/n. Let's take a look." Hoda finishes.

"And, cut!" the cameraman turns off the camera, waiting for the movie clip to play.

Y/n saw the scene being played out on the little computer placed in front of her and Walker.

"Is that why you haven't talked to her in a while? Because we gave her a fistful of crap?" Walker as Adam said through the screen.

Ryan as Older Adam sighed and his frustration was evident on his face. He huffed and turned around to look at Adam (Walker). He ran a hand through his hair.

"No..you know what, Adam? Let me tell you something. We don't talk to Emma because she's dead!" Ryan screamed at Walker. Adam's (Walker's) face changed from smugness to horror.

His eyes got glossy, and he stumbled out a "W-What?"

Ryan's face changed to soft sympathy. "Look, she died in a car crash when she was a teenager. I-I'm sorry. I'll try to change it. I'll try to change the future." Older Adam (Ryan) put on the jacket with determination.

"I will change the future." Older Adam (Ryan) finished. Adam (Walker) sniffled and wiped his eyes.

The camera panned through the house to you opening the glass backdoor. You as Emma Reed walked inside, your hands stuffed into your hoodie.

"Adam? And, well, Adam? I went for a walk, sorry if I was gone long! Are you guys here?" Emma (You) called out.

Just then, the cameras were back on, and you rubbed Walker's back lightly, knowing that this was a hard scene for all of you guys.

"That was truly amazing, wow," Hoda said first. Jenna nodded with her.

"Aww, do they do that a lot?" Jenna asked, her eyes going to you and Walker, as he smiled at you softly, letting you know that he was alright.

Ryan laughed. "Yeah. Y/n as Emma is actually the reason why I want to have a daughter." He said, giving you a cheeky grin. You smiled back at the older man and looked towards the host.

"I can see that. Emma is such a sweet girl." Hoda agreed.

"Woah, okay back on track. So, Walker and Y/n, this is your first movie and it's with Ryan Reynolds. Kay, was it at all intimidating working with this guy, or not?" Hoda asked. Walker spoke up first.

"Uhh, not at all." Your blonde friend said. You laughed at Ryan's somewhat hurt facial expression.

"Really?" Jenna and Hoda said in sync.

"Not at all? How come?" They said immediately after. You were laughing to yourself.

"Careful," Ryan warned Walker.

This caused everyone in the room to start laughing, and Hoda even bent over, clutching her sides. You and Walker shared a couple of big smiles.

"-It was, He was a lot taller than I thought he would be," Walker said, nervously switching the leg he had resting on his other. You nodded.

"Usually actors are short," Jenna said. You laughed, giving Walker a playful nudge with your shoulder. Your costar laughed and nudged you right back.

"I wore four-inch hightops on set." Ryan laughed.

"Yes, he was just wearing heels, Walker." You said, laughing. Ryan reached forward and ruffled your hair in an affectionate way.

Walker laughed.

"Was he funny? Did he make you laugh?" Jenna asked. You answered this one.

"He was only funny when he didn't want to be funny. Whenever he tried to make a joke, nobody laughed." You said, leaning away from Ryan as he tried to ruffle your hair again.

Jenna and Hoda laughed along with Walker. "Yeah, I don't think I've ever laughed at one of his jokes," Walker said, smiling. Hoda leaned forward in her seat as Jenna started laughing again.

"Oh my god, you are the same person!" Hoda said, smiling. You started giggling to yourself. "Who are you people?" Hoda finished.

"One time-" You started. But, Jenna didn't hear you. She cut you off, making you shrink a bit in your seat. Walker noticed.

"You guys are so cute!" Jenna gushed. Walker nodded politely before turning to you.

"Thanks. Y/n, what were you about to say?" He asked you, giving you a small smile. You sat up straighter in your chair and smiled back at him.

He noticed! You giggled to yourself.

"Oh! I was going to say that one time I got confused, and I accidentally called Ryan Walker instead of Ryan." You laughed.

"No way!" Hoda laughed. You nodded.

"I can confirm that that happened," Ryan said from beside you. Everyone laughed for a quick second.

"Wow, finding these two kids is perfect! Walker is perfect for you, and Y/n portrays Emma's kindness and innocence. They are the perfect kids to cast. How did you find these two if they've never been in a movie before? How did this come to be?" Hoda asked.

Ryan breathed. "We read hundreds and hundreds of kids, all different ages, starting with the umbilical cord right up to a hundred and twelve years old." Honda laughed at that.

"I feel like we read all of the kids on Earth. And then one day, we saw this tape of this kid named Walker Scobell, and the second sentence out of his mouth, I looked at Shawn Leevy and said that's our guy." Ryan said, clicking his tongue. Hoda and Jenna gasped.

"You knew it, just like that?" Hoda asked. You laughed.

"Just like that." Ryan agreed. You smiled at Walker, giving him a toothy grin.

"Wow, I feel so left out." You laughed, half joking. Ryan gave you a look.

"I was just getting to you kid, don't worry." He said. He then took a deep breath.

"Once we got our Adam, we knew that we needed to get an Emma that like- works best with Walker. So, we sent out the call to any eleven to thirteen-year-old girls that would like to try out for Emma Reed. We got I think-" Ryan paused to think. "maybe five-fifty (550) uhh, audition tapes. So, Shawn was originally just going to look at them himself, until I suggested that Walker should take a look first." Jenna nodded, facing Walker.

"Did you really pick out the ones you liked most?" She asked him. Walker sheepishly smiled.

"Yeah, I think I cut down to maybe one-thirty (130) tapes? It honestly took a long time, but it was worth it." Walker said, grinning at you.

"Then, we watched all of the ones that Walker picked out, and Shawn took a look at Y/n, and he smiled. He said, 'She's gotta get a callback and a read with Walker.' So we narrowed it down to maybe fifty Emma's. Then we invited Y/n to a callback on Zoom, and we asked her to sing. " Ryan said, laughing. You covered your face embarrassingly with your hands, remembering your song choice. "she started to sing a song from High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. Let's actually pull up the clip." Ryan said, turning to the camera. The camera guy nodded and cut it. Then, Y/n saw her face on the laptop in front of her, the screen recording of the Zoom playing full blast.

"Oh no.." she whispered. "I can't look."

"So, Y/n, we were wondering if you could sing a little song for us. We were thinking of having Emma in our show sing, but you don't have to if you aren't comfortable." Shawn asked Y/n's video self.

"Uhh, no it's okay. Just acapella?" You asked.

"Yes, that would be lovely,'' Shawn replied. Little Y/n took a deep breath before she started to sing.

"I think of you when the wind blows, I see your face almost everywhere, sure maybe Salt Lake is not close, but I'm still breathin' you in the air. Because the best part is knowin' there's somethin' in my dreams that always makes me smile, it's you," Your video self did a small riff, and Honda and Jenna both murmured their admiration.

"The best part is knowin' there's someone in my life that makes it all worthwhile, it's you. When I don't know what to do, no I'm never givin' up, never givin' up on you. Baby, there's no need to be blue, because the best part is knowin' there something in my life that always makes me smile, it's you." Y/n in the video did another riff, and it sounded a lot better.

"The best part is knowin' there's someone in my life that makes it all worthwhile, it's you, it's you." Y/n stopped singing, smiling happily. The video cut back on, and you didn't notice that everyone was staring at you until you looked up from the video.

"Woah," you said, noticing everyone's gaze. At that, everyone started to laugh.

"Well, that was amazing. when you heard that, did you know like you did with Walker?" Jenna asked Ryan. The male smiled and nodded.

"Shawn honestly didn't expect Y/n to sing because this was her first real audition, but when he heard this girl open her mouth, he was texting me. Hey, I think we found Emma. Let's get Y/n L/n to read with Walker. So, a few weeks later, Y/n walked through these big metal doors, and she saw Walker for the first time. And she then gave him a smile and a wave, and I think that convinced the rest of the crew that she was our Emma." Ryan finished, giving Y/n's shoulder a little squeeze.

"That's incredible, to hear that, and to think that both of you wanted to act, and continue to act," Jenna started. Y/n and Walker both nodded their heads wordlessly.

"W-was it kinda crazy that you two got this role?" Jenna finished. Walker nodded.

"It was..it was uhh, I-I was expecting a lot of littler roles, and to then work myself up to the big ones, because I originally wanted to be an Avenger." You laughed at that, and so did Hoda and Jenna.

"This is pretty close to an Avenger. Basically the same thing." You said to him. Walker smiled and nodded at you.

"Basically." He agreed.

"Have you ever seen Deadpool?" Hoda asked Walker, a knowing smile on her face. You started laughing uncontrollably.

"Walker! Oh my god, that's the funniest thing I've heard in my life." You said, gasping for air.

"Uhh, what's that?" Walker said, feigning innocence. That just made you laugh harder.

"I think Y/n knows, care to tell us?" Hoda said, smiling. You nodded and opened your lips to talk, but then Walker slapped his right left hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

This just made everyone but you and Walker die of laughter. Finally, Ryan calmed down to speak.

"Come on bud, answer her seriously." The older male said. Walker looked around for a second, making sure that his hand was still on your mouth. You pushed it away, laughing softly.

"I-I uh," Walker stuttered.

"What? you're not allowed to say?" Honda cut in.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Walker finished. You giggled, elbowing him softly.

"Someone's in denial. Where's this attitude when we're picking out movies for movie night?" You said, dodging Walker's hand as he tried to cover your mouth again.

Hoda, Jenna, and Ryan all laughed at your statement.

"Walker, how many times have you watched Deadpool?" Hoda asked him again.

Walker smiled. "Uhh, for legal reasons- I can't uhh." Hoda and Jenna started laughing again.

"He's so funny, Oh my God!" Hoda squeaked out.

"I love him!" Jenna laughed.

"How much did you?" Hoda gasped. Walker looks nervously at you.

"Answer them!" Ryan said, giving Walker a look, leaning over Y/n's chair.

"Uhh, a couple-" Walker started.

"More than seven?" Jenna asked.

"-Hundred. Yeah, more than seven." Walker finished, and you started laughing hard with the rest of the people around you. You clutched your sides, bending forward in your chair, silently laughing.

"He can recite every syllable, of either movie. Ask Y/n, she knows." Ryan said.

"Oh my god, Y/n does he?" Jenna asked you. You nodded. Walker shot you a look.

"You do not get to give me a stink eye, dude," you said, pointing your finger at him. "Every second of every day the first couple weeks of filming, Walker would be normal, and talk about normal things. Until he got comfy with me, and at random times," Hoda and Jenna started to laugh, knowing what you were going to say next. "Walker would trot over to me, and he would proceed to spew a whole monologue from Deadpool. At first, I tried to walk away from him, but Walker learned how to handle that because he would grab onto my shoulders, and hold me hostage until he was done with whatever he was saying."

When Y/n said, 'Hold me hostage,' Hoda and Jenna started laughing uncontrollably.

"He even knows those crappy, sub-expo lines that no one remembers. He also knows stage direction." Ryan cut in. Walker laughed and shifted his resting leg again.

"I think I've spent more hours watching Deadpool than I do outside," Walker admitted, earning a laugh from you.

"Wait, what grade are you two in?" Hoda asked.

"We're both in seventh." You and Walker said at the same time.

"Woah, I just got hit with the twin synchronization!" Hoda exclaimed, laughing before she continued.

"Since you both go to school, what do your friends think about your little gig?" She followed up.

"Well, I didn't really tell a lot of people about it, you know? Like- just my close friends and stuff. But when it was released on Netflix, I just got random people coming up to me and asking if I was in The Adam Project. Then, people just started texting me like- edits of myself in class group chats." You laughed, as did Hoda and Jenna.

"What about you, Walker?"Jenna asked.

"Well, they don't really..er-well, they thought that I was just a flashback or something, so they didn't really know, which was nice! Uh," Walker leaned forward in his chair. "It's just really weird because kids come up to me, and they ask me what Ryan Reynolds smells like?" He finished, with you laughing alongside him.

"What does he smell like? That's actually a great question. I've been wondering that same thing throughout this whole thing." Jenna asked.

"Is it- Is it wood? I think it's wood." Jenna said first.

"I think it's something fresh, like leaves of 2000.'" Hoda countered.

"Same, maybe it's sage," Jenna said, excitedly tapping Hoda's arm.

"You would think it would be butternut squash with cinnamon, but it's actually baby powder," Ryan said. Jenna and Hoda snickered.

"What a beautiful smell. Okay Ryan, "Jenna said, straightening her back. "You seem to have a friendly relationship with these two. You also have one with our good friend Hugh Jackman."

Hoda laughed. "Didn't you send a life-sized cut out of yourself to him?"

"It was a life-sized charcoal drawing of myself." Ryan corrected, having fake poshness to his voice. "C'mon now, I'm not tacky. And, it was two drawings. The first one was not well received, and the second one of me in a different pose was definitely not well received." Ryan finished. You and Walker shared a smile.

"We just half to say, you just got the red carpet for this show, I'm sorry to say it, but your wife stole the show," Jenna said earnestly.

"Always." Hoda agreed.

"In that rainbow dress? I mean, I saw you in the background-" Jenna started, and the picture of Blake Lively's dress popped up on the computer.

"Wow." You and Walker both said.

"-So in the future, if you two play each other, you could wear that." Jenna finished.

"You too could wear that exact dress," Ryan said. "Uh, in the sequel to The Adam Project." You giggled with Walker.

"We have a couple questions for the twins, actually." Hoda and Jenna said.

"Shoot," you said, inviting them to continue.

"Okay, you and Walker have to say the same things at the same time. Ready?" Jenna shuffled her papers slightly.

"Wait, do we say the answer that we think the other is going to say?" You asked.

"Sure!"

"Okay, Walker I'm just going to say yours." You confidently said. Walker shrugged in a way of saying, alright.

"What is your favorite snack?"

"Frosted Flakes." you both said.

"Favorite Movie?"

"Deadpool two." You said, rolling your eyes. Walker gave you a little push.

"Favorite sports team?"

Your eyes widened, and you looked at Walker you shrugged. You definitely did not know any sports teams.

"The Red Dragons," Walker said, poking your forehead with his finger.

"Ow," you muttered to yourself.

"And last thing, what is the most annoying thing about Ryan Reynolds?"

"His face." Both of you answered. Hoda and Jenna started dying with laughter. Ryan just glared at you two.

"Wow, shots are fired. The shot is fired. You know that I'm big in Hollywood, right? I can have you two completely destroyed." Ryan threatened. You and Walker just sent toothy grins at him.

"Okay, you can get the Adam Project streaming on Netflix. Thank you." Honda said, laughing.

"And..cut!"

-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()

my first tumblr blog done! tysm for everyone reading this!

[simpxxstan]

Hi! Been reading your fics svt as you best friend’s brother and im hooked, my favorite would be vernon’s!!! Idk if you still accept request but if you do, can i request Joshua + as your brother’s bestfriend?

P.S. i really like your writing style! 🥰

this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.

thank you for enjoying my work <3 and thanks for the request, it was wonderful to work on it!! altho i wrote like 4 versions because i so unsatisfied but finally settled on this, really hoping that you'll like it1 and again, i'm so sorry for being late, i hope you still enjoy this :)

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who you certainly don't approve of at all

"i don't like this new friend you have." you tell your brother straight up when joshua leaves your house after dinner. it's the first time he's visited your house since your brother and he became inseparable. you've heard a lot about him and to be fair, you'd expected him to be .... not like what you realise he is.

it's nothing tangible, though. joshua is all politeness and manners, but there's an air about him which constantly reminds you that he belongs to old money, an air of superiority that seems to be ingrained in his manner of walking and talking.

and the worst bit is that everyone is so taken with him. ever since he's joined your high school, it's become amply clear that everyone loves joshua hong. some because of his wealth, others because of his looks.

"sis, he didn't even bother you. how the hell do you not like him?" your brother's low grumble annoys you, as if he has a right to ask you this although he freely drops his opinions about all your new college friends. "i don't know, really. but the vibes are... vibes are bad."

vernon rolls his eyes. "you're just mad because he's not into you, isn't it?" the words don't leave his mouth before he gets a very subtle kick in his shin that dumps him on the floor.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who rarely ever gets curious about people, but somehow he just cannot understand you

he's seen enough people already and now he can flag each person by their type. but you don't seem to fit into any of the boxes he can so easily segregate humans into. for one, you're very lowkey, just like vernon. but unlike your brother, you're not laidback nor are you cool, at all, really. you're very tight-wound, always on your guard, your wide eyes taking in everything around you.

"okay you're scaring me now," joshua spins around and meets your gaze, squinting to try and understand what thoughts lurk beneath those judgy little eyes.

"what have i done?" "you can't be judgmental during a creative process!" "i have literally not spoken a word and yet you think i'm judging you." "that's cause you are," joshua stands up and walks to you, hands on his hips, desperately trying to keep a cool face as he tries to read your mind. you cock your head to one side, meeting his stare, "oh yeah? how's that so?" "your eyes are boring holes into my back, i can feel them, you know." you stand up, your height nowhere close to joshua's but the strength of your gaze strong enough to pin his attention, "that's just the voice in your head, nuthead. you know your song is trash and you're dumping it on me now."

"hey!" vernon protests, and joshua smirks, "see i told you she was judging us! well, you can keep your judgement to yourself, miss chwe-" "yeah, i was gonna-" "and maybe leave the room while the artists are busy creating art your silly brain cannot understand."

you gasp, "you can't kick me out of my own room, you nobody!" "but he can," he says, pointing to vernon, "he's your brother." "not really, i'm gonna tell mom-" joshua loves seeing you get riled up, loves to see at least some emotion on your face. "okay, my whiney lil girl, go tell mommy," he bends down to your level and winks, his breath catching at the very audible sound of your gasp.

and it works, somehow. did he just intimidate you? or irritate you? whatever he's done, now you do leave the room, but not before flipping off him and vernon. that hurts his ego a little bit, but at least he won't have to feel your judgy eyes stare at his back while he's composing the masterpiece he and vernon are going to perform at the next party. that's a win in his books.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua whose somehow everywhere you go, almost like a shadow

of course, some of it is thanks to your brother. and the rest of it is because he has a lot of common classes with you. and although he's a new student, he's quickly become the apple of the eye of many teachers too.

"if you're really so good at creative literature, why can't you write your lyrics yourself!" you huff at him when he shoves the notebook towards you across the table once again. "that's because i've got writer's block, you idiot. why can't you just be nice to me for once, i'm just asking for some help!"

joshua's looking at you with the most helpless puppy eyes he can manage, but you're not falling for his tricks. "you're getting me distracted with this, i know what you're doing." your hand stretches across the table, pushing the notebook back to him. "distracting you? it's one damn verse-" "joshua, you're trying to distract me from working on the essay due this week, aren't you?"

joshua's eyes bulge. "what? woman, now you're overdoing this. i don't even know why you have these kinds of illusions about me. i haven't done anything to you." "but i know your type of guy," you eye him seriously, and he cocks an eyebrow. "whatever it is, you've got me wrong, y/n." for a second, you're almost convinced, but then you look at the rolex resting casually on his wrist.

"no i'm not, joshua. there are hundreds of other people, eager to write your song lyrics, but no, you come to me. why? you're an attention whore, you only pester me because i push you away. the day that i give in, you'll be gone, and -"

joshua leans in until he's almost breathing the same air as yours. "and what, y/n?" you pause for a second to frame your words correctly, but joshua takes up the chance, "then you'll realize that you've got me all wrong, because i never left you at all?"

there's some rawness in his voice, a rugged angle that's new in his usually sugary sweet voice, and it leaves you disoriented for a long minute, your thoughts scattered, your heart racing and your intuition anxious. have you really got him all wrong? but he's already gone by then, gone before you've predicted, and you have no second chance to call him back to tell him that you'd already thought of lines for the verse last night when you'd heard your brother sing the rest of the song.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who's looking for you in the crowd when he performs at the party tonight, but it's a search in vain

he wants to ask vernon if he knows where you are, but he doesn't want to sound desperate. doesn't want to sound like an attention whore, doesn't want you the pleasure to think that maybe you're right. because no. you're not. he's not thirsting for your attention. he's not yearning for one soft look from your eyes because he can never understand what's going on behind them. he's not going insane every night wondering what you really think of him. he's not longing to see your fake guard fold in two so that he can tell you that he-

Hope you listen to this song 'cause I, I, I... 'Cause I'm doing right just fine. I'm doing alright, doing alright. he sings, but he really hopes no one sees it on his face that he's not, in fact, doing alright. no one has affected him to this extent, to the extent that it's plaguing his thoughts all day and all night whether they hate him or not. and the fact that even this is occurring is concerning enough for joshua to feel his stomach twist in anger and anxiety, although he can see the crowd happily sway to their song.

and then vernon sings, I can't get you out of my head, yeah, Gotta get you out of my head, yeah. How can you be so fine when ... and joshua remembers how he wrote this verse thinking about your icy eyes when you stare at him when he's standing in front of the class, giving a presentation that the teacher's asked him to deliver, staring at him like he's not good enough.

I'm doing great myself, Hope you know I am... and how joshua wrote these lives in a feverish whisper in the middle of the night when your words from last afternoon had come rushing to his mind and he'd lost all sleep. because he is doing great, isn't he? he is. he doesn't need your attention. he doesn't need your approval. he doesn't even need your affirmation.

except the voice in his head knows he does. he knows it because it's at this moment that he sees you in the crowd, standing far away from the stage so he hopes you don't know he's staring right at you, but he can feel the burn of your gaze even through the blinding lights.

and the song ends with a final strum of his guitar, vernon singing, I'm super fine, I don't need you anymore... and joshua can't help but whisper out, into his microphone

i need you

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who's looking too good for even you to resist tonight, with the signature black jacket and a single vein popping out on his neck

you don't even know why you came tonight. something something about your mother asking you to check on vernon and make sure he's not getting high. something something about this being the last weekend before you get into study mode for finals. something something about you being curious about what joshua finally wrote in that verse.

and while you've seen your brother perform quite a few times, seeing joshua on stage gives you a different kind of goosebumps. the kind of goosebumps that leave you wondering what is wrong with you that you're so mean to him on an every day basis when he's so beautiful and so talented.

i'll give him a chance, you think, when you walk towards backstage. you confidently enter the tiny room that's labelled as backstage, but you find your brother making out desperately with someone in a corner so you jump out of the room immediately...

"looking for someone?" and bump into the person you've actually been looking for. when you turn around, his eyes leave you breathless, and you think that he is right. you have got him all wrong.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who can finally read your eyes because he's taken you by surprise and you can't mask your feelings so quickly

and now he's got you in his arms, and he knows that vernon is up to something inside the room, so he slowly slides you away from the room and against the wall next to it. "did you watch me?" not us. me. because joshua wants to know desperately what you think about him.

"i did." "and? what did you think?" your pretty eyes flitter about, trying to avoid his gaze avidly, but his hand slips under your chin so that you do look at him. "don't make me lose my mind, y/n. tell me, please."

so you finally look at him. really look at him. no shields, no guards, no distances. "i thought you were damn good, joshua hong. that's what i thought."

joshua's hand slips from under your chin and falls to his side. "and? what did you think of the song?" there's a hint of a smile in your eyes, and he can see them crinkle into a smile before your mouth can. "i thought it was very emotional. i didn't think you to be capable of such raw emotion. was it for someone?"

and he knows this is the moment. he knows it is because all the voices in his head are ringing like sirens with only one answer. "yes, you."

and you gasp and joshua leans in to press a kiss to your mouth. it's a soft kiss, barely a peck, a request for permission, a test to check the tides. so when you lean into him, chasing his lips, he loses all control.

"y/n chwe, you're driving me insane," he mutters, as he slowly tastes all of your lips, feeling the plush and the warmth of the one thing he's craved for months now. "pl- please, don't fight this feeling," he knows he's begging, but he doesn't care. all he wants is your softness against his hands and your warmth spreading to his body and your lips smashing again and again against his own lips.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who's eyes bulge out of their sockets, his lipstick smudged against the corner of his mouth, a pathetic whine leaving his throat as you push him away

there's an emergency siren ringing in your head right now, and all you want to do is fall back into his arms, but you can't. you simply cannot. because that would mean you've fallen for his games, become prey to his tactics and he'd win again.

you have to fight the feeling because you know tomorrow morning he'll be gone, and never come back, because he's got you under his grasp now. so you do the first thing the rush of adrenaline tells you to do- run.

you run all the way home, locking yourself into your room, biting down on the rough edges of your t-shirt to stop yourself from screaming because your mind is still reeling from the taste of the forbidden fruit. you know deep down, that you have lost to joshua. you've given yourself up to him, let your guard down, and if you see him right now, you may just fold.

thinking about brother's best friend!joshua who doesn't give up looking for you, and finally finds you in the corner of the library the next afternoon, skipping lunch in favour of revising biology

thankfully, you're too engrossed in your notes to realise when he's taken the seat next to you, it's only after he softly calls out your name that you jerk up with surprise, "oh it's you."

and then a second later, when joshua's hand is halfway across the gap between you two, you whisper out louder, "oh it's you." he pauses. "yeah, y/n, it is me. what's wrong?"

you don't respond immediately. you stare at his outstretched hand, at the confusion etched on his features and the way your knees are touching under the desk. "you came looking for me?" joshua doesn't understand why you look so dazed, but he replies softly, leaning in, "of course. why wouldn't i?"

and then you lean into him and kiss him. wow that was simple, joshua's mind still confused at what just happened, but he doesn't miss the opportunity. his hand finds your arm, and he pulls you closer to kiss you, to taste you in every way he couldn't last evening. "i want you, y/n. why do you run away from me?"

and joshua doesn't know why, but you laugh. it's the sound of rain falling on leaves, the sound of tinkling beads, the sound of piano keys played on a midsummer night. "i promise i won't anymore, joshua. because i admit, i want you too." and you kiss him again, and somehow, his curiosity becomes the last thing on his mind. not when you're busy rearranging his brain chemicals to make sure he's addicted to your scent, your taste and your touch and he can never live without you now.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

I'm Not That Girl ~ Bucky's Version

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST / MUSICAL INSPIRED FIC MASTERLIST

40's!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 1,140ish

Request:  hi lovely!! i hope you're doing well! can i request 40s!bucky with i'm not that girl?  i love wicked sm haha i've seen it three times on broadway and am going to see the movie again once finals are over

Warning(s): unrequited love

“Hands touch, eyes meet

Sudden silence, sudden heat

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl

He could be that boy

But I’m not that girl”

Your heart was hammering against your chest as Bucky pulled you onto the dance floor. His smile was as big as ever, causing his eyes to shine and making you feel so lucky to be so close to him. If only you could always be this close to him.

“Come on, doll!” Bucky laughed. “Don’t make me to all the work!”

You smiled and began pulling your weight in the dance. Though the dance hall was crowded, it felt like it was just two of you. Almost anytime you spent with Bucky felt like that. The world around you both was silent and still, allowing you to lean too much into your heart.

“She’s here!” Bucky exclaimed, eyes locked on the entrance of the dance hall. “Y/N, she’s here!”

Your heart fell as he let you go and headed straight for the woman who held his heart. Dot.

“Don’t dream too far

Don’t lose sight of who you are

Don’t remember that rush of joy

He could be that boy

I’m not that girl”

“Hey, doll,” Bucky greeted with that smile heart-stopping smile. 

“Hey, Buck,” you responded. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t a guy stop by to see his best girl?”

Best girl. You always felt joy when he called you that, causing you to push aside the true meaning of that title. You weren’t truly his best girl, but his best friend aside from Steve. 

“Plus, I need to talk to you,” he continued, stepping into your apartment. “I need some advice about Dot.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” You took a deep breath as you closed the door, trying to reign in your emotions.

“I think I love her.”

Your hand fell from the handle of the door as your heart shattered. “Oh?” You turned around and headed into the kitchen to fix up a snack. You needed to focus on something else right now or you were going to lose it in front of Bucky.

“Yeah. She’s perfect, doll. Like… the best thing that’s every happened to me.”

“That’s great, Buck. What advice to you need?”

“I need to know how to tell her. How do I tell her that I love her? Do I get flowers? Tell her while dancing? Take her out to a fancy dinner—“

“Just tell her, Buck. No frills. If she loves you back, she just wants to know you love her. That’s all she cares about.”

“You think?”

You sighed. “I know."

“Every so often we long to steal

To the land of what-might-have-been

But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel

When reality sets back in”

Your dreams were the only place that the wishes of your heart came true. Bucky chose you. Bucky loved you. You were truly his best girl.

But then you would wake and remember the truth. Bucky loved Dot and Dot loved him. You were just someone in his life, for now.

It was the early morning and you had just woken up from one of your dreams when a knock sounded at your apartment door. When great caution, you went over and opened it. You were surprised to find Bucky standing on the other side. But even more surprised to find him in military uniform.

“Bucky?” You questioned. “What’s going on? What are you wearing?”

“I know that I should have told you sooner, doll,” Bucky’s voice was laced with guilt. “But I didn’t know how… I’m shipping out to England.”

“What? When?”

��Now.”

There was no point in stopping the tears.

“Hey, hey, please don’t cry,” he pled as he stepped closer, his hands coming up to hold your face. “You know I can’t stand to see my best girl cry.”

“You should’ve told me sooner,” you cried. “I deserved to know.”

“I know, I know… I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye to you.”

“Then don’t.”

He gave you a sad smile. “Can’t do that, doll. But… you can come see me off. I would really love it if my best girl was there.”

“Blithe smile, lithe limb

She who’s winsome, she wins him

Gold hair with a gentle curl

That’s the girl he chose

And Heaven knows

I’m not that girl”

Dot was sobbing as Bucky held her close. You and Steve stood to the side, watching the scene as military personal hurried around the shipyard. Other goodbyes were happening around you, almost allowing the scent of tears to fill the area. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Steve whispered. He was the only one who knew of your feelings. He had figured them out just by watching you.

“It’s fine,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes on the couple. “I always knew that I wasn’t Bucky’s type.”

“Y/N—“

“Don’t try to make me feel better, Steve. I really don’t want it.”

Your heart clenched as Bucky brushed Dot’s golden hair from her face and gave her a kiss. A stray tear slipped down your face and you quickly wiped it away.

“I can’t do this,” you whispered, turning around.

“Y/N!” Steve tried to keep you there, but you weaved through the crowd before he could.

“Don’t wish, don’t start

Wishing only wounds the heart

I wasn’t born for the rose and the pearl

There’s a girl I know

He loves her so”

You hoped that Bucky would write to you, but he never did. You heard that Dot was receiving letters and small gifts. Pressed flowers, poems, drawings, and a small pearl. Every time you got an update from Steve about Bucky it was due to his letters to Dot. It only hurt you further.

One day, Dot showed up at your apartment. You were curious and allowed her to come in.

“Bucky asked me to keep this a secret,” Dot explained as she seated herself on the couch. “But I know he didn’t keep any secrets from you and I just had to tell someone!”

“About what?” You questioned.

“Bucky sent a pearl in his latest letter. With the pearl, he asked me to marry him.” And you thought your life couldn’t get any worse. “Of course, I responded with a yes. We’re going to get married as soon as he returns.”

You pressed out a fake smile. “Congrats, Dot.” Your voice wobbled. “I’m happy for the two of you.”

“I knew you would be. I feel so much better now that someone knows.”

Dot didn’t stay much longer. It was a good thing, because you weren’t in a good place. As soon as she was gone, you had collapsed into a puddle of tears. Your dream was over. Bucky chose Dot over you. He loved her and not you.

“I’m not that girl”

[allthingsfangirl101]

All I Want – Glen Powell

I hid behind my camera as the actors went through their scenes. I couldn't ignore the smile that spread across my face as Glen's character ran into the airport.

"Rick?"

I made sure to angle the camera behind Glen, right over his shoulder so we got a clear shot up of Lucy Liu and Taye Diggs.

"Hey," Taye hesitated. "Did I forget something?"

"Yeah," Glen responded, sounding like he was out of breath from running. "That you're a bastard." Glen paused as the extras in the airport mumbled things under their breaths. "I don't wanna be like you. I'm not gonna be. I don't want the promotion. I quit."

"Okay," Taye said with little to no emotion.

"Kirsten? Don't marry him."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing as the extra walked up next to Glen and laughed, "Do it, honey. Go with the young guy."

"Oh, no," Glen started to stutter. "No, no. I mean, she's a very handsome woman. Just -- Not what's going on here."

"Charlie," Taye said, still with barely any emotion. "You're fired as fuck."

"I literally just quit," Glen shrugged. "Kirsten, I know you don't know me, but I know you, because all Harper does is talk about you. And even when she's complaining about you, she's really complimenting you. I know how hard you work and what a badass you are, and I know you don't put up with any shit. So, don't put up with his. I don't know what you think you're getting out of this, but you deserve better. You are better."

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from laughing as he lifted his hands and laughed. "Gave myself goosebumps."

"He's crazy," Taye recited. "You realize that? Hmm?"

Lucy paused before slowly turning toward Taye. She thought about it before asking, "What's my favorite food?"

"Your favorite -- It's steak tartare."

"It's green curry, you douche-tard!" Glen yelled up at them. "She likes it medium-spicy from Thai Leaf on Broadway."

"What's my favorite place?" Lucy asked.

"Kiki, I ca - -" he stuttered. He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. "This is ridiculous. Why are we --? Kirsten. Your name is Kirsten."

"Squam Lake, New Hampshire, you douche-tard." I smiled when Glen did an excited fist bump. "Charlie, I know you're no longer his assistant, but could you please strike "wedding" from his calendar?"

"Absolutely," Glen said proudly.

"Are you being serious?" Taye asked as she dropped her plane ticket and walked away. "No. Kiki's short for Kirsten," he said as he followed her."

I moved the camera to catch Glen's facial expression. He's supposed to stop and think about how he left things with Zoey's character, Harper. As he looked down, Claire yelled, "Cut! Perfect guys. Let's check the lights, switch the camera positions, and go again."

I turned off the camera, took it off my shoulder, and stretched my back. I handed the camera to my assistant and continued stretching out my shoulders.

"You almost made me break."

I looked over my shoulder to see Glen walking over to me with a playful glare on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I shrugged.

"Your little giggles," he said, pointing at me.

"I never giggled," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "I held it in."

"True," he nodded, "but your little smirks and smiles made it incredibly hard to remain serious."

"Well, then that means you need to do better at your job," I smirked. Glen laughed as I walked away. I forced my heart rate to slow back down as he jogged to catch up to me.

"We still on for lunch?" Glen asked as he started walking in sync with me.

"Of course," I shrugged, trying to get the butterflies in my stomach to calm down.

His simple question shouldn't have such a big impact on me. Especially considering the fact that we've been going to lunch almost every day during filming. We started about a month in. I was walking on set with the lunch I just bought when Glen bumped into me, spilling my lunch all over my shirt.

Glen freaked out and immediately took me to the costume trailer. He influenced the ladies to get me a shirt and then offered to buy me a new lunch. We spent the entire lunch break, eating in a small café down the street from the set and talking about anything we could think of.

The next day, I was swapping the batteries in my camera at the start of lunch when Glen walked up to me. I turned around to see him smiling and offering me a sandwich from the same café. Without thinking about it or meaning to, we ended up eating lunch together every day.

Throughout lunch, we talked about the movie's ending. I already have another job lined up, and Glen has a few 'feelers' out.

"I can't believe it's been four months," Glen chuckled as he finished his chips.

"I know," I smiled softly. "It's gone by so fast."

"Are you still working for Netflix?" He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "They've got my next project lined up. Some teenage angst romance movie."

Glen laughed when I made a face. "It won't be that bad," he tried to shrug. "I mean, you've spent months filming me flirt with Joan and Zoey."

"That's different," I sighed. "Filming teens just feels. . . wrong."

Glen smiled while reaching over and grabbing my hand. "Keep in mind, they're usually adults playing teenagers. And if any of them give you a problem, just call me."

My heart sank. I've grown accustomed to seeing him, teasing him, eating with him every day. The idea of not seeing him every day killed me.

Little did I know that Glen felt the same.

* * * * *

We had three scenes left. We filmed the big ending first. On the last day of filming, we were focusing on the scenes leading up to the end. My heart was in my throat the entire time I filmed their final scene.

I followed behind Zoey, waiting for her to notice Glen waiting outside the office.

"If I spend too much time on Gilda in the beginning, people will know that she's gonna die. Let her death be a twist. Hold off until after Harry wins his first med. . ."

Zoey stopped midsentence when she noticed Glen outside. Glen turned around and instantly had the perfect expression on his face. Zoey stopped recording herself and opened the door. One of the camera assistants snuck behind her and held the door open for me as I followed her outside.

He came off slightly nervous as she walked up to him and stood across from him. My camera was directly behind Zoey, and all its focus was on Glen. All of my focus was on Glen.

"Hi," Zoey recited.

"Hi," Glen responded.

Zoey looked to the side before turning back to Glen and asking him, "So, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Kirsten told me to meet her. What are you doing here?"

"Oh my.  . ." Zoey laughed as they acted to figure it out.

"She Cyrano'd us," Glen caught on.

"Yes, she. . ."

"I Googled it," Glen said. "So, I know what it means now."

Zoey sighed as she put the box she was holding and her bags down before turning back to Glen. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"I don't work here anymore. I quit working for Rick. Starting over. At 28. Actually, I'm a temp, which is technically lower on the totem pole than an assistant, which is kind of a kick in the nuts. But it's, um, kind of cool. I get to see a bunch of different jobs. Find out what I actually like." Glen paused before adding the monologue I knew would make girls 15-35 swoon over him. "I like you. So, so much. You're not hard to get at all. You're hard to earn. It's so much better."

"You displayed a total lack of character when it mattered."

"I know."

"Charlie," Zoey continued, "you have the romantic and sexual personality of a seventh-grader."

"Seventh?" Glen asked, immediately lifting the mood. "I feel like it'd be at least high school."

"You wear suits to sports games."

"What?" Glen paused, acting like he was confused but slowly caught on. "You're a know-it-all."

"You are unbelievably bad at beer pong."

"You're a sore winner. And you use too many exclamation points."

As they continued to banter, I could feel myself falling harder and harder for this man. And it wasn't because of his character. It was because he was just like this in real life. I should know. We banter all the time.

But our banter doesn't end the way theirs does.

"And yet. . ." Zoey didn't finish.

Glen grabbed her hand and slightly pulled her toward him. He leaned down and kissed her. I watched, my heart breaking as Zoey wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. The assistant gently tapped my elbow, reminding me that I was supposed to lift the camera above them, tilting it up to see New York.

"And cut!" Claire yelled. I looked over to see Glen and Zoey pull apart. Glen looked at me, but I quickly looked away.

I handed the camera to my assistant and grabbed a water bottle at the snack table. I let out a shaky breath as I opened the bottle and drank.

"So," Glen elongated as he walked up to me, "on a scale of 1 to bleehh, how cringy was I in that scene?"

"You were great," I said without turning around. "You're always great."

"Are you okay?" He grabbed my elbow and turned me toward him.

"I'm fine," I shrugged.

"Are you sure?" He asked, looking at me in a way that made me melt.

I could tell him that I wasn't fine. I could tell him that I didn't want the movie to end. I could tell him that I was terrified that we'd never see each other again. I could tell him that the thought of not working together made me want the ground to open up and swallow me up.

"Of course," I said, my voice dropping. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," he stuttered. "I just feel like the last couple of days, you've been. . . off."

"Off?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "I just meant that you've been in your head more than usual."

"I'm fine," I answered quickly. "I always get a little 'in my head' when I'm wrapping up a movie. It's hard to say goodbye to everyone. It's the worst part of working on movies. You get incredibly close to someone and then you never see them again."

We suddenly fell into silence as we stared at each other. I should tell him how much I'm going to miss him. It was on the tip of my tongue, but something stopped me. I'm not sure why I couldn't spit it out.

Glen opened his mouth to say something, but he was called to set. He sent me an apologetic look, and quickly kissed my cheek, before walking away. As he walked away, an answer to my earlier question popped into my head.

I couldn't tell him how much I was going to miss him because of one simple fact; I'm just a camera woman and he's a famous actor.

* * * * *

After filming the last scene, we still had a few scenes to film. Throughout filming, I noticed Glen acting weird. It felt like he was avoiding me. I went over and over our last interaction, trying to figure out if I said something that made him uncomfortable.

I stood behind the bar, my camera focused on Zoey. She typed for a little before stopping and slowly smiling.

"I finished," she mumbled. "I finished. The whole article. I finished it! From beginning to end."

I smiled softly as she grabbed chips, stood up, and spun around. She stopped when the waiter walked over with two plates of food.

"I finished it. I finished the whole thing," she repeated. "You, sir, are a hero and scholar, and are about to receive the greatest tip in the history of the service industry."

She turned around and started shuffling through her bag. "Okay. Technically, I don't have my wallet on me. Tomorrow. . ."

"Leave this place and never return," the waiter cut her off.

As the waiter walked away, Zoey smiled. She put her hands to her head and whispered, "I did it."

"And that's a cut for Zoey!" Claire yelled. "Let's switch sets and film Glen's last scene. Y/N, you ready?"

I looked over at her and saw Glen over her shoulder. "Of course," I said, trying to sound normal.

"The battery good?" She asked.

"All good."

"Great!" She said, clapping her hands together. "Let's wrap this up."

I made eye contact with Glen again but quickly looked away. I hated this. I hated this feeling in my stomach. I hated this awkward, confusing tension between us.

After lunch, the set was now ready for one of Glen's last scenes. We had to reschedule due to some issues with Pete's comedy schedule. When I walked onto set, Glen was already in position. We made eye contact again and I instantly broke it.

"Alright," Claire said, "Glen's in position. Y/N's in position."

My face burned when Glen looked at me and smiled. I looked away and focused on the camera.

"Action!"

I filmed him scrolling on his computer for a few seconds before Taye knocked on the door. Glen stood up and I followed him down the makeshift hallway. I stepped behind him as he answered the door.

"Cut!"

I looked over at Claire confused. "Stanley," she sighed to the other camera operator who was behind Taye, his camera focused on Glen. "Your angle is wrong. Can we switch the two of you?"

"Switch?" I stuttered.

"Yeah," Claire shrugged. "You do better with angles. Plus, you and Glen are closer in height so it's not as slanted."

"Oh," I said, clearing my throat. "Sure."

I took my camera off my shoulder and blushed when Glen moved aside. Stanley and I switched positions. I was now behind Taye and focused on Glen.

"Perfect," Claire smiled. "And action."

"Hey," Taye said, slightly awkwardly.

"What do you want?" Glen asked harshly.

"You live here? It's disgusting." Taye scowled. Glen scoffed as he started to close the door. Taye quickly stopped him. "Hold up. Hold up, hold up. I'm sorry. I just. . . I, uhh. . . I need some information on, um, my wife. My ex-wife."

"Like what?"

"Uhh. . ." Taye hesitated as he opened a small notepad and looked through it. "I got some written down here. Uh, assorted favorites, as in, uh, favorite foods, flowers, clothing. . ."

"Are you serious?" Glen scoffed.

"Look," Taye sighed, "I realize I should know this. But you used to do all this stuff for me. I want her back."

Glen hesitated, slowly sighing. "I have an old Kiki file. I'll send it over to you."

Taye let out the breath he was holding. He did a small fist pump as he recited, "Thank you. Thank you."

"Yeah," Glen sighed.

"Thank you," Taye said again. "I really appreciate this."

I stepped aside as Pete walked up.

"Rick," he said loudly, making Taye jump. Pete turned to Glen and asked, "You still work for this guy?"

"Nope," Glen chuckled.

I held my breath as Pete threw his cup of iced coffee on Taye. He walked by him, stopping in the doorway as he said, "It's soy. Nice seeing you, Rick."

Pete did a small salute before leaving. Glen started to follow him.

"Bye, Rick," he said as he slammed the door.

"Perfect! Much better. Thank you, Y/N."

I nodded as I took my camera off my shoulder. My assistant took the camera and noticed my shirt.

"Do you want me to. . ."

"I'm fine, Wes." I cut him off. I looked up to see Glen walking out of the apartment.

"Did Pete get you?" Glen asked, instantly scanning my shirt. "I told him to be careful."

"I'm fine," I brushed off. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen," Claire smiled, "that is a wrap on Set It Up!"

Everyone started to applaud. Without looking at Glen, I turned and started walking off set.

"Y/N!" Kelley, the makeup girl, ran to catch up to me. "You coming to the bar tonight? Apparently, Claire rented it out for the wrap-up party."

Just then, Glen walked by. Of course.

"Oh," I said slowly. "I. . . I don't know. I'm kinda tired."

"Come on, Y/N," she whined. She turned around and smirked. "Oh, Glen!"

"Kelley," I said through my teeth. "Don't. . ."

"What's up?" Glen asked as he walked over to us.

"Y/N's trying to wimp out on us," she said, her whole voice dripping with tattle-tale venom.

"I am not," I said quickly.

"Yes, she is," she corrected. "Anyway, I can't get her to come. But maybe you can. Convince her."

"Kelley," I said through my teeth.

"You're really not coming?" He asked me. He looked over at me, the look of hope in his eyes causing my heart to do several flips.

"I'm not sure," I stuttered.

"Well," he smiled, "I hope you do."

I couldn't help but hold my breath as I waited for him to leave. Once he did, Kelley elbowed me in the ribs.

"Ow!" I gasped.

"Okay," she said, turning toward me and crossing her arms over her chest. "What's with you? You two are usually constantly bantering and teasing each other. This last week, you've been weird. Spill."

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I wish I knew."

* * * * *

After spending hours putting together different outfits, I finally walked into the bar.

"Damn, girl!" Kelley giggled when she saw me. I blushed as she ran over to me and made me spin around. "You. Look. Gorgeous!"

"Thanks," I said pushing her away. Something over my shoulder caught her eye.

"And I'm not the only one who noticed," she said in a sing-songy voice. I looked over my shoulder to see Glen across the room, smiling at me. I sent him a smile before turning away. I grabbed Kelley's hand and led her to the bar.

"If I'm going to get through this," I said under my breath, "I'm gonna need a stiff drink. Very stiff."

About an hour later and after a few drinks, Kelley and I were leaning against the bar.

"I just don't get it," she sighed.

"Get what?"

"You and Glen."

"There's nothing to get," I scoffed. "I'm just me. A nobody who spends her life filming other people instead of doing anything with her life."

"So?" Kelley shrugged.

"So," I elongated. "He's Glen Powell, Hollywood's Heartthrob. Why would he want to be with me? I'm not anyone special."

"Maybe to him," she said slowly, "you're more than just a nobody. Maybe to him, you are special."

"Yeah, right."

"Come on, Y/N," Kelley sighed. "You have been crazy about him since we started filming. Why don't you think he might be crazy about you too?"

"Do I need to spell it out?" I asked bitterly. "I'm a nobody. Glen could do a whole lot better. But, who cares? The movie is over. He'll get another job and so will I. We won't see each other every day. He'll find another girl to make her fall head over heels in love with him while I suffer in my lonely silence."

"You might want to. . ." She said, pointing behind me.

"Glen," I gasped when I turned around and there he was. "What are you. . . How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough," he shrugged with his heart-stopping smile. Kelley gave me a not-so-subtle push toward Glen as she walked away. Her push made me bump into him, causing him to catch me.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine," I said, stepping back. "Look, about what I said. . ."

"It's okay."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "It's not. I know we. . ."

"I like you." I held my breath as Glen paused. "So, so much."

"You what? You sure you're not just reciting yours and Zoey's final scene."

"I'm not rehearsing anything. I want to be around you every second of every minute of every day," he said, taking a step closer to me. "I want to take you on dates and spend my money on you until I have no more money left to spend on you. I want to hold your hand, hold you, until I lose the ability to feel. I want to kiss you until my lips are numb. I want to be the first thing you think about every morning you wake up and the last thing you think about every night before you go to sleep. I want to love everything you have grown to hate about yourself. But mostly, I just want you, Y/N."

He pulled me into his chest, leaned down, and pressed his lips to mine. My heart felt like it was jumping into my throat as I slowly started to kiss him back. Our lips moved in sync as he pulled me closer. We broke apart when neither one of us could breathe.

"See?" He whispered. "All I want is you."