#so I'll probably go get another apple tree and make a sign or something

[tj-crochets]

Omg I love stardew valley! Have you ever made any crafty stuff related to the game? I’ve been so tempted to make dolls for some of the characters ngl

This is my very first time playing it, so I haven't made anything related to it yet, but I am totally willing to! I just don't know what game-related stuff would make good plushies? Like, npcs, slimes, junimos, plants? For reference about my lack of familiarity, it took me several days in game to figure out that there's a map I can access lol edited to add: what's up with the mouse that sells hats????

[fantamemes]

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron - Forever Free :: Sentence Starters

a.k.a. i was feeling nostalgic for my favorite childhood pc game, and so made an extremely obscure meme out of it. feel free to modify pronouns, phrasing and such as needed.

“ [ name ], you're all right! But you look weak, my friend. Don't worry. Soon you'll run wild just like before. ”

“ Are you ready to move on? ”

“ Sometimes the eagle will want to race. If you beat him, he'll give you a feather. ”

“ That's all I have to teach you. Good-bye, my friend. ”

“ Hey [ name ], you look a little tired. Take one of my carrots - it will make you feel stronger! ”

“ We can escape together. ”

“ Nah, I'm too slow to jump the fence. ”

“ You won't throw me this time! ”

“ Hey slowpoke! If you can catch me, I'll give you another one of those carrots. ”

“ I don't believe it, you caught me! I have to go practice my racing... ”

“ Escaping the rustlers was so exhausting. ”

“ When I need something, I'll call for you. With your help, I know I'll be back to normal soon. ”

“ Thanks, but I'm not [ hungry / thirsty ] right now. ”

“ Feeling up to a little race, [ name ]? ”

“ Better luck next time, [ name ]! Don't be sad, everyone says I'm a fast flyer. ”

“ Please, help me! I'm stuck! ”

“ If you kick down this tree, I might be able to free myself. ”

“ Thanks! I thought I'd never get out of that jam! I'm feeling a little hungry now. Hmmm... ”

“ Spotted any apples around here? I'm not leaving till I find one. ”

“ I understand. You must be busy. ”

“ [ name ], I'm in trouble! The sheriff thinks I stole [ ____ ] , but I didn't do it. ”

“ I can't talk now, [ name ]. I have to figure out how to free myself. ”

“ You're probably in on it with him. Get out of here! ”

“ Well, I'll be. You found it. I guess that kid didn't take the [ ____ ] after all. ”

“ Here, take [ name ] with you. She belongs with you and the other horses. ”

“ This farm life is tough now that the farmer's ox ran off. ”

“ Hot enough for you, horse? My advice: find some shade. ”

“ Getting a lot of use from that railcar wheel? Why a horse would want a wheel is a mystery to me... ”

“ Oh, no! Now I've done it! Mother will be so mad... [ name ], will you bring me water to put out the fire? ”

“ I'm going to get in so much trouble for this! ”

“ Please, take [ ___ ] with you. It's the least I can do to show my appreciation. ”

“ I decided to learn to weave. If you come back later, I may weave you a nice rug or even a blanket. ”

“ That's good news, because I need a blanket. ”

“ Can't find an axe? There's not one around here, I know that much. ”

“ How do you like my work? This will be my best blanket yet. ”

“ Bad news travels fast, my friend. ”

“ I've seen people collecting flowers along the shore. ”

“ You have done a great thing, [ name ] ”

“ You're the one who saved me, aren't you? Thanks. ”

“ Greetings, [ name ]. What a gift it is to see you again. ”

“ Too rich for you, huh? Your loss. Come back when you're ready to do business. ”

“ Have you seen a little boy around? He's gotten himself lost. ”

“ Have you checked the mine? I'd look there myself but I can't get across the broken bridge. ”

“ HEEELP! Is someone there? Say something! Oh... Well. If you can hear me, fetch a rope so I can climb out! ”

“ You and [ name ] getting along well? He's a good horse, that [ name ]. ”

“ Leave me be, horse... ”

“ Get me out of here, will ya? ”

“ Dang, now I'll never get all this wood sawed. ”

“ My, you are one fast horse! ”

“ It's good to see you! If you could get me out of this, I'd owe you big, [ name ]! ”

“ Well I'll be! It's a horse! Just what I needed. Mine's all wore out. ”

“ Sorry, I don't do manual labor. ”

“ You and [ name ] go run off together, I have some chopping to attend to. ”

“ It's good to be back, young fella! You've done us all proud again. ”

“ Any sign of those wranglers? I thought I smelled 'em just now... ”

“ How can I ever thank you, my friend? ” / “ Just by being my friend. ”

“ I knew you'd grow up into a brave stallion! I'm so proud of you! ”

“ I didn't realize how much I missed home! ”

“ The grass is much greener here. Mmm, tasty! ”

“ Did you see any gold in that mine up in the mountains? It could be valuable to someone. ”

“ Thanks for the quick thinking, [ name ]. ”

“ Whew, it's good to be home, huh? ”

“ [ name ], I'm glad you're here. ” / “ Me too. ”

“ Help me kick this rock, [ name ]! It's our only chance. ”

“ What in the world's going on up there? ”

“ Oh, no! We'll never capture another horse now! ”

[brokecollegenerd]

Chapter One

Genre: Royal au, Cross-dressing au

Paring: Spy! Baekhyun x soldier! Reader ft. Sehun

Summary: Your life gets turned upside down when the King demands one male of every household to enlist and defend the nation from invading forces. Fearing for your Father’s life, you enlist for him and head off to fight for your home. All while trying to hide your true identity. While doing this, you meet a member of the Royal Spys. Who seems to always be there for you, when you need him the most

Tagging: @shesdreaminginoverdose​

Masterlist | Prologue (The Spy) | Prologue (The Soldier)

The sun shines down on your back as you walk along the dirt road. You were currently surrounded by all the men heading off together to the capitol in order to enlist so that they could fulfill the decree’s demand. The original group that you had left with was much smaller than the current group you were walking with. As the group had traveled, more and more men of all ages joined the party, making it grow in size. This led to you hanging out in the back, more often than not. You were trying to avoid as many people as possible to lessen the chance of someone figuring out your secret. You figured the less people you talked to the lower your chances were for any of them asking questions and figuring out your gender. This was why you often hung out at the back of the party, especially as it grew in size, to avoid conversations. Unfortunately, Helios seemed to want you to stay by his side for the entire trip and subsequent enlistment.

While you appreciated his desire to keep you safe, it was also a pain how overbearing he was being. You had known Helios your entire life, so you understood him when he kept insisting you stay by him. Helios saw himself as your protector on this journey. Afterall, you had that type of unofficial engagement that came from living in a small town, the type that wasn’t real but most boys or men believed it was. Thus, you knew that he wasn’t so much worried about another man discovering your secret and what it could do to you and your family, but rather if another man would try and make a move on you. This was why you had not even gone two miles into the journey before doing everything in your power to separate yourself from him. If he was overbearing the whole trip, someone would get suspicious and ask questions. That was something you didn’t want to happen, or rather, that you couldn't let happen.

Moving your hand, you shade your eyes so you can look at the sun. You were rather grateful for your short hair at this moment, it was much cooler than your long hair had been on a sunny day.  It was almost midday from what you could see, which meant that you would need to find a place off the road to eat midday meal.

At that very moment a call went out, “Time to stop for a midday meal.” A great cry went up from all the men at the news. The crowd moved towards the large covered wagon that held the food for the collective. You knew better than to head to the front like everyone else. Slipping between the people, you made your way towards the back of the covered wagon. The back of the covered wagon had a window that all the other men seem to forget about. They always headed to the front window, because that was the main place that food was served. However, you had learned early on that if you went to the back window, you could be given food before the majority of the others. Arriving at the back window, you gave it a knock to let the person inside know you were there. The window opened to reveal a rather small man. A cheeky smile came to his eyes once he saw who had knocked.

"Ah, Lyn. Hold on I have your meal coming right up." The small man left the window for just a few moments before coming back with a bowl of grits and an apple in hand. "Fresh and ready to go my lad." He said, taking too much joy from you cheating the system. You smile at him, he was trouble but at least he was fun.

"Thanks Kibum," you say, making your voice a little lower than your normal tone. "Tell Minho he better not have poisoned me." As you walk away you could hear Kibum's laugh roaring behind you. As quickly and quietly as you had gotten to the wagon, you left in the same manner. The next step for you was to find a place to eat away from everyone else. Fortunately, you spotted a lone tree not too far from the path. It was the perfect spot, it had shade and was away from where everyone else was gathering to eat. You walk over to it and find a perfect spot to sit under the tree that provides the most shade. You had barely sat down and leaned up against the tree, when the peace is interrupted by someone calling out for you.

“Y/N!” Helios yells. Panic fills you as he calls you by your real name. You jump up quickly from your spot under the tree and look around it to find Helios searching for you. 

“Helios!” you call out, “What the hell are you doing?” Hearing his name, Helios makes eye contact with you and a look of relief comes to his face. He walks over to your spot under the tree. The light shining bright on him, making his golden hair glow.

"There you are, I was wondering where you ran off to. I just got you a spot to sit in the group for the meal but you had already vanished." You could feel frustration building up within you. 

"I've already told you, Helios, I don't want to sit with those guys cause they bring too much attention to themselves. I'm trying to keep a low profile." Which you seem to not understand you think to yourself, "And I told you, don't call me Y/N. I am Lyn from now on and no matter when or where we are, you need to call me that." Helios lets out a breath of frustration. It seems you aren't the only frustrated person.

"And do I have to tell you again to stay close to me. I need to make sure you're safe. I promised both my sister and parents to look after you." He says.

"I know, and I am grateful for your help, but you're not doing a good job of keeping a low-profile. That's what I need right now, not a personal guardian. I'm not a child, Helios, I can take care of myself pretty well on my own." A short laugh leaves Helios.

"Barely, you aren't nearly as old as me or even half the men here. Just imagine what will happen to you if you're alone with any of them, or worse one of the enemy." 

"I'll punch them in the face," you respond, "I've got a good hook." Helios doesn't seem to like that answer. His frustration becoming more clear as he crosses his arms.

"This isn't a joke." He says through gritted teeth.

"I don't think it is. You just don't trust me to be alone with anyone other than you, and I don't trust you to keep a low-profile. So I did both of us a favor and just separated myself from everyone. It's the best of both world" You sigh. Calming yourself down a little, you try talking to Helios again without yelling at him. "Look, I know you're trying to take care of me and keep your promise; but I'll be fine, I promise." A large sigh escapes Helios, he looks back over at the large group.

"I know you'll be fine. Doesn't mean I like it." 

"I know," you say, "can you just trust me to be alone, maybe stop being so overbearing? Just for today at least?" You reach out and place your hand on Helios' arm. It seems to calm him down a tiny bit.

"Fine, you can eat your lunch alone today. But," he turns back to look at you, "can you promise to sleep next to me for the rest of the trip? It's the one thing I ask."

"Sure," you promise, "I have no problem with that. As long as you let me sleep." A small chuckle leaves both of you. A small peace comes between you two, if just for now. Helios unfolds his arms and pulls you into a hug. 

"Just be careful" he says against your head. You nod to reassure him. Helios let you go rather reluctantly, giving you a small smile as he leaves. "See you around, Lyn." He says, putting great emphasis on the word. 

As you watch Helios walk away, you can feel your frustration slowly starting to fade away with him. This journey was not going to be easy with Helios acting this way. However, you don’t have long to relax before you hear a noise. It was the awkward clearing of someone’s throat. Panic quickly overtakes you and you freeze upon hearing the noise. 

“Well, that definitely wasn’t a conversation I was supposed to hear.” Following the sound of the voice, you look up into the tree you're under to see the last you want. It's a young man, nay more like a boy, sitting in the tree. He is long limbed and lanky, with black hair and dark eyes. Even though he looks to be on the younger side, his face is shaped and chilled like that of an older person. He's a strange combination of both man and boy and you can't quite seem to get a grasp on his true age.

“How long have you been there?” You ask. You feel foolish asking but you don’t know what else to say. The lanky boy smiles rather cheekily and rubs the back of his head.

“The whole time, I got here before you.” The panic within you changes to terror. He heard everything. He knows. It no longer matters if Helios can stop acting obvious, it’s already too late. You feel your breathing begin to come out in pants of terror. The boy seems to catch on to your panic and worry covers his face.

“Don’t panic! I won’t tell anyone.” The whole world seems to freeze at his statement. He won’t tell? But why? What does he have to gain from not telling?

“Why?” you ask, looking at him laying out in the branches. The lanky boy moves from his reclined position to one where he is sitting up straight on one branch. His booted-feet dangle just above your head.

“Cause I don’t see any reason to, you’re doing no harm.” he says casually. You are shocked at his response. 

"What do you mean no harm?" You ask.

"Well," the lanky boy sighs, "you being a girl doesn't change the fact that you're probably going to fight and die, the same as the rest of us. You probably also didn't plan on signing up for fun, especially if your beau over there is going on about keeping you safe."

"He's not my beau, just a family friend." You say, almost mumbling it. The boy nods, understanding coming over his face as he grasps the relationship you and Helios share. You feel relief flood through you, he wasn’t going to tell anyone. His reasoning made sense, and it made you almost embarrassed how nervous you were about the whole situation. Your moment of relief stops almost as soon as it starts when the boy speaks again.

“I understand why you want to keep it a secret though.” 

“You do?” you ask, tilting your head.

“Yah,” the boy says, “Not everyone is going to think the same way I do about, well, this whole situation.” he says gesturing towards you. “The higher ups might see you as cheating the system, and, well, army men are not exactly the best people to be around as a girl.” You wince at the thought of what could happen to you if everyone did find out about your gender. Maybe your concerns were warranted if even this random boy thought so. You were then struck by an embarrassing thought, you hadn’t asked the boy his name yet. 

Blushing a little you say, “I just realized I haven’t asked what your name is yet. You know mine, hell both of mine." You hear a small chuckle leave the boy and your nerves get even worse. "So, it would probably be good to ask what yours is.” The boy smiles at you, he jumps down from his spot on the tree branch. He lands easily on his feet, straightening up and pushing off his black tunic and brown pants. He puts out his hand for you to shake.

“Sehun, it's nice to meet you, Lyn." You reach out and shake his hand. You feel warmth grow inside you as his uses your fake name.

"Ummm," a sense of awkwardness falls between the two of you. You rack your brain to come up with something to say. "Where are you from?" You say rather awkwardly shrugging your shoulders in a way that shows you have no confidence in the question. Sehun sighs and looks back the way the party had come.

"I live on a farm near the Oh Valley. Maybe about two miles or so outside the town in the valley." Shock overcomes you, that's the neighboring town to your hometown. He probably lives not more than ten miles away from your home.

"What!?" You exclaim, "That's the crazy, I live just outside the town in the south hills from the Valley. We're practically neighbors!" Sehun's face lights up with excitement, his face changing into a boyish grin that makes him look almost cute. "It seems fate is wanting us to be friends or something." You say, grinning wide.

"I don't know about that," Sehun says, a skeptical look in his eyes. "Nevertheless, it's nice to meet someone from the same area as me." He then leans forward a little. "If you do want to be friends then I am more than open to the idea. I've been on my own this whole trip and I would love to have someone to travel with." You feel a smile come to your face. You bring your fingers to your chin, in a mock thinking position.

"Hmmmm," you muse, "that is a very intriguing offer. I have been in the market for a partner in this journey, my current one doesn't seem to be respecting my wishes exactly." The smile of Sehun's face turns into a smirk.

"Well, I promise to keep your secret, respect you as an individual, and only ask that you don't get annoyed with me." Sehun says.

"Deal," you put out your hand to seal the "deal". Sehun takes your hand and shakes it firmly. Before both of you know it, you're laughing way to hard. The giddiness that floods your heart is something you weren't expecting. You like Sehun, a lot actually. He seems like a fun person, but still a good one. After you both catch your breath after laughing, you motion to the food you have sitting on the ground.

"If you don't mind, can we sit down so I can eat?" You ask.

"Of course," Sehun says. You sit back down on the ground, getting yourself comfortable and finally able to eat.

"Now then," Sehun says, settling down next to you. He eyes your food with a greedy look that makes you shake your head at him, "Why did you sign up? There has to be a story to it." You sigh, you knew he would ask but it wasn't something you really wanted to talk about.

"I'm an only child, so the only male in my family is my father. He isn't exactly young and full of the spirit of youth anymore. When I saw the decree, I knew that he would definitely die if he went to fight. He probably wouldn't even make it past training without some health concern. So, I decided to go in his place and tell my parents that the decree said one member of the family and leave out the male part. I went to the family friends we had and told them the whole situation. They weren't exactly happy about the situation as you can tell." You say gesturing to where Helios left earlier. "But they all knew that it was the best opinion. Then the parents told Helios, that guy from earlier, to make sure I'm safe, and you can clearly see how well that's going for the two of us." You take a bite of your grits after you finish your small tale. Sehun looks at you with an thoughtful look.

"They're going to find out you lied to them." He says.

"I know," you respond, "by the time they learn though it will already be too late." Sehun let's out a small chuckle.

"I can see you thought this through." He comments

"Sort of," you say, "I kind of come up with the plan as I walked home from town, and then showed up at the family friends house with cut hair and a vague plan. It all came together after that." You take another bite of your grits. You can see Sehun continue to eye the food, and hold out your bowl to him. "Want a bite?" You ask.

"Yes please," he responds, "I didn't grab any food." You raise one of your eyebrows and give me a look of confusion.

"Why would you do that?" You ask, while handing him your apple.

"Didn't feel like dealing with that mob." He says. He takes the apple from your hand and immediately starts to devour it. You let out a small chuckle. What an interesting reason for not getting food.

"When did you plan on eating then?" You ask.

"I usually eat in the mornings and evenings." Sehun response, apple already half gone.

"All because you don't want to deal with the group?"

"Yup," he says. You make a humming nosie of acknowledgement, it wasn't exactly a bad idea but one that you don't think you could do. You decide to change the subject at hand.

"What's your story?" You ask. Sehun looks at you with confusion on his face.

"My story?"

"Yah, why are you here? Are you an only child? Only living male? Everyone has a reason for being here, and you heard mine, so what's yours?" You take another bite and wait for Sehun to answer. He sighs and his face becomes more serious. Yet again, he looks older when he isn't smiling in some capacity.

"It's nothing really extraordinary, like yours." Sehun leans back against the tree and looks out over the field. "I'm the youngest of two brothers, and my older brother had just recently gotten engaged. I thought that if he died, it would be worse than me. So, when the conversation came up, I offered and no one could really argue with me." Sehun takes a final bite out of his apple and mutters, "that's all there is to it." His story is simple but it does tells you one thing about Sehun, he cares deeply for those he loves. He's almost like you in a way, choosing to go enlist because you dying would be the least painful in the family. Pausing in your meal, you look at Sehun. You can see the silent resignation in his eyes, that look of knowing he may never be able to see his family again and this is his one final act love for them.

"I understand," you say. Sehun looks at you and a sense of companionship passes between you. Sehun clears his throat and tries to change the subject.

"So, what are your plans for after the war?" He asks, throwing his apple core away. You're thrown completely off by his question. You never really thought about what you're going to do after the war.

"I don't know," you say, "probably just go back to the farm and continue to work it." Sehun nods slowly. A small silence falls between the two of you. You venture to try and start up the conversation again.

"Do you have something in mind for after the war?" You ask.

"Not really," Sehun states, "Maybe stay on with the Army."

"Is that something you want to do?" you ask, a little intrigued at the thought of Sehun officially joining the Army.

"I don't know," he responds, "I mostly just want to get out of my home, start a new life somewhere else. I want to be more than just a second son to a farmer; and I feel like this could really provide me the opportunity I've been looking for." You nod your head in a acknowledgement. You understand that thought process, Helios has a similar idea but it wasn't as simple. Sehun genuinely seemed like he was trying to figure out what to do with his life and he felt being in the army or even in the capital would give him that opportunity. Helios just wanted to be important, and he saw being in the army as a way of doing that. In a way, you can relate more Sehun's idea than Helios's, the idea of starting over somewhere new to figure out your life is something everyone has felt. You reach out and grasp Sehun's hand strongly. He is taken off guard at your sudden action. You look him dead in the eyes, which were a beautiful chocolate color.

"Well then, as my repayment to you for keeping my secret, I promise to make sure that you will live to the end of this war and can figure out what you're meant to do with your life." Sehun smiles one of his childlike smiles and a look of fondness comes to his eyes. You feel your heart swell with happiness, even though you have just met this lad, you already feet deep affection for him and the want to keep him smiling like that. Sehun's grip on your hand tightens.

"Thank you, Y/N" he whispers, so quite you almost can't hear it. At that very moment a call goes out.

"All bowls need to be returned to the wagon and those who have start walking!" Sehun and you both look back to the party and hear the noises of grumbling men and boys.

"Well, you better return that bowl or you'll lose your head." Sehun jests.

You look back at him and retort, "I'd like to seem them try." Sehun let's out a chuckle and stands up, pulling you up along with him.

"Shall we?" he asks, hand still clasped in yours.

"We shall." You respond taking off in a run, pulling the poor boy behind you.

"Lynnnnn." Sehun whines. You only laugh, but still hold onto his hand. Sehun likewise, despite his whining, holds on firmly to your hand.

Next Chapter

[somestorywriter]

A Christmas Surprise

Hello @awkwardlittleintrovert ! I’m your santa for the @rusame-secret-santa-2018 event! I’m so sorry I’m late, but I hope you’ll enjoy your gift!

Prompts: (I used them all)

1. Snowball fight, and when it’s over, they’re both super tired and cold (except Ivan, of course, he isn’t cold) so they go inside their house and warm up with cuddles and hot chocolate. (Human AU.) Can be slightly NSFW. 2. Alfred is super sad because he and Ivan can’t celebrate Christmas together, so Ivan flies from Russia so they can enjoy the holidays together. Can be slightly NSFW. 3. Alfred, Ivan, Matthew, Gilbert, Arthur and Francis celebrate Christmas together in the states. (Super fluffy and maybe a little bit angsty?? Just because Ivan’s never really had big family holidays.)

Title: A Christmas Surprise

Characters: Alfred, Ivan, Matthew, Gilbert, Arthur, and Francis (Human AU)

Words: 2,688

Summary: The FACE family is celebrating Christmas together, but Alfred’s sad because Ivan couldn’t make it. Little does he know, there’s a surprise for him in store...

Matthew pulled Gilbert along upstairs. "Easy there," Gilbert chuckled. "I promise I'll take off that shirt of yours at some point tonight, but it's a little early, don't you think?"

"Oh, it's not about that." Matthew closed the guest bedroom door behind them. "Haven't you seen Alfred?"

"Our sparkling host? Except he looks so sour I'm worried he'll make the punch go bad."

"Exactly." He bit his lip. "I've done something."

"You put maple syrup in the punch?"

"What? No. I've planned a surprise."

"Oh, I love surprises."

"I'm going to pop out for a moment and I need you to cover for me."

Gilbert played with Matthew's hair. "How long will you be gone?"

"About half an hour. Not that they're likely to notice..."

"I'll notice."

Matthew smiled. "After this, I'll be all yours." He stole a quick kiss before embarking on his mission.

Alfred watched his breath form clouds in the cold outside air. Normally he'd be delighted at the sight of so much snow, trying to see how many snow angels he could make before Arthur scolded him. But now it all seemed a bit too empty. Sure, it was nice celebrating Christmas with his family. Arthur, Francis, Matthew… even Gilbert had made it. He and Matthew looked really cute together and Alfred was happy for them.

But he'd have been happier if Ivan was here too.

It wouldn't have been their first Christmas together. They'd met back in university when Alfred was teamed up with the Russian exchange student for a project. One encounter with mistletoe later, they were inseparable. They saw each other a few times a year, and this year they'd planned for Ivan to come over to the States. But his boss wouldn't let him take these days off. And so, there was no romantic Christmas together for them this year.

In a cupboard upstairs, Alfred had hidden everything he'd planned for Ivan this Christmas; presents, matching sweaters, even some Christmas pillows for cheerful Holiday cuddling. But none of it would be used. In a bout of frustration, Alfred had nearly told Ivan to just move in with him already. But he didn't want to risk moving too fast and ruining their relationship, especially not around the Holidays.

It's not like Alfred wasn't enjoying himself. He loved spending the Holidays with his family. But after hours of watching Matthew and Gilbert act all lovey-dovey, he was starting to feel a bit lonely. When the radio also started playing 'Lonely this Christmas,' with Gilbert pulling Matthew along for a slow dance, Alfred decided he needed some air.

Just when his ears were beginning to freeze off, Matthew appeared with a suitcase.

"Dude, weren't you inside just now?"

"Ah, I forgot some luggage in the car."

Alfred knew that suitcase... "Isn't that..."

Matthew hurried past him. "See you inside!"

Nah, probably coincidence... Alfred blew some warm air into his hands. At least they got a white Christmas. That was something. He should take a picture and send it to—

A snowball hit him square in the face. "What the… Who did that?" He wiped his face clean and looked around, but didn't see anyone. "Come out or I'll—" Another snowball nearly knocked him off his feet. "Fine, have it your way..." He crouched by the nearest tree and gathered some snow. "Bring it on!"

Nothing.

"I'm ready for—" He got hit in the back and fell face-first into the snow. "That's it!" He started throwing snowballs at random, hoping to hit something. He got plenty in return, which gave him a clue in which direction to throw. His opponent moved fast and he could barely keep up. "Show yourself!" The answer was another snowball. Alfred retaliated and finally managed to hit something, judging by the flash of movement and the soft cursing. He quickly threw another snowball, and another, approaching the figure ducking behind the bushes. "Surrender now!"

"Never."

Alfred stopped. That voice…

Ivan got up from behind the bushes and wiped the snow off his coat. Alfred let out an unholy screech and jumped at him, making them both stumble and fall to the ground.

"Ivan! You're here!"

"Yes," Ivan managed to get out despite Alfred sitting on his lungs.

"You made it!"

"Thank your brother, he was the one to get me a hotel room on such short notice."

"Dude!"

"Surprise."

Alfred kissed him deeply, pressing him deeper into the snow. Ivan held him close but pulled away from the kiss. "Comrade, your skin is colder than my vodka in winter."

"Oh! Right, come inside!" He climbed off Ivan and pulled him up. "Come on, everyone's waiting!" He dragged Ivan along, who chuckled softly.

Once inside, Alfred nearly ripped both their coats off. "It's going to be great! We're having a huge Christmas dinner tonight, and tomorrow we'll open our presents! Though nothing can top this surprise… Come on now!" He pushed Ivan in front of him through the narrow hallway. Ivan had to be careful not to bump into just about everything. "Everyone! My boyfriend is here!"

"Hello, Ivan," Francis chuckled from the couch, holding a glass of wine.

"Alfred, you've introduced us through Skype, remember?" Arthur was holding a dish with his oven mittens. His pink apron spelled 'Kiss the chef'. A Christmas present from Francis last year, which Arthur had sworn he'd never wear.

"B-Big…" Gilbert mumbled as Alfred got on his tiptoes to peek over Ivan's shoulder. "You never told me your brother's dating a giant," he whispered to Matthew.

Ivan blushed. "I-It's nice to meet you…"

Alfred squeezed himself between Ivan and the doorframe. "Need… Dry clothes… Catch cold…"

"You two freshen up," Francis said. "Dinner will be ready in a bit."

"Aw yeah! Ivan, I made the apple pie you like so much! And Dad makes his Christmas cake again this year! Papa always jokes how, if a fight would break out, the cake would be his weapon of choice—You get it? It's because it's harder than a rock! But then Dad carries it out and it's on fire and it's the coolest thing ever!"

"Alfred, you've had enough sugar for tonight," Francis chuckled.

"Aww! Hey, Ivan, check this out!" He pressed a button on the Christmas tree lighting, making it start flickering violently. "Cool, huh? It's like one of the snowstorms at your place but cheerful!"

Arthur huffed and turned the flicker mode off, but Alfred didn't notice.

"You're cold, come on!" He pushed Ivan up the stairs to his bedroom, nearly giving him a head-on confrontation with a lamp. Alfred got out everything he'd hidden away. "These are presents… Here, put this on!" He quickly removed Ivan's shirt and helped him into a Christmas sweater. It had a polar bear on it surrounded by holly. Alfred squealed. "It looks so good on you! Hang on…" He searched around until he found a button, turning on the shirt's lights. "It's perfect! One more thing…"

Ivan rolled his eyes and pulled Alfred in for a deep kiss. Alfred let out a sound and jumped up, wrapping his legs around Ivan's waist. Ivan chuckled and gently laid him down on the bed, crawling over him, sneaking his hands under Alfred's equally obscene Christmas sweater.

"W-Wait…" Alfred breathed.

"Christmas stuff later, eating you now."

"What about dinner?"

"You're the first course."

"Actually, the first course is meat—"

"No, it's you." Ivan continued kissing him, nearly pulling off his sweater.

"Boys?" Francis called from downstairs. "I know you two must be having so much fun, but dinner's on the table."

"Coming!" Alfred called, climbing off the bed. "Ivan, I promise we'll have time together, but first we need to eat." He pulled Ivan along, nearly making him walk into the lamp again. "Where do you want to sit? Oh, sit here!" He pushed Ivan into a chair and sat down on the one next to him. The others gathered at the table too, with Arthur putting a big meat pie on the table.

"Is that edible?" Gilbert whispered to Matthew.

"Take a small portion, eat two bites, and hide the rest in your napkin. I have stomach medicine for the aftermath."

"It smells delicious," Ivan said.

"I know," Arthur said, cutting it up with a smug smile.

"Let's start!" Alfred scooped up a big slice for Ivan and then for himself.

Ivan took a tentative bite, and then another, and then dug in. "It's delicious…! Could I get some more?"

Everyone at the table looked surprised, Arthur most of all. "Of course." He put a big piece on Ivan's plate. "You seem like a fine gentleman. Alfred should invite you over more often."

"I'll be very eager to come if there's such delicious food."

"Are we sure he's human?" Gilbert whispered as Ivan finished his second plate with delight.

Throughout the next courses, Alfred chatted away while Ivan nodded with his mouth full. Gilbert studied the Russian bear for signs of alien DNA. Matthew talked to Francis, who rubbed his drunk husband's shoulder.

For dessert, Matthew carried in the burning Christmas cake as Arthur was too likely to stumble and fall. He put a piece on Ivan's plate. "Dad's drunk, so he won't notice if you don't eat it," he whispered.

"Why would I not eat it?"

"Have a small taste and discover for yourself. Careful, there's lots of alcohol in it. It's the secret behind the whole fire act, as well as the only edible component."

Ivan poked it for a bit before biting down on a piece. Gilbert was about to hide his own slice in his napkin, but he stopped and watched with big eyes how Ivan munched away on the rock-like dessert. "Not human…"

"Everything here is so delicious!" Ivan beamed, Alfred bouncing with joy next to him.

"You're bloody right it is," Arthur slurred. "Ivan, you are my new son."

"Darling, you're drunk," Francis said, his own cheeks red from the wine as well.

Arthur reached behind him and grabbed a box.

"Christmas crackers!" Alfred cheered.

Arthur held one side up for him and Alfred pulled it with a loud bang. He put on the little paper crown that came out of it. Matthew grabbed a cracker from the box as well. "Papa, we're next."

Ivan sat back a little. They were having a family moment and he shouldn't interfere. He watched them laugh and put on their crowns, and thought about how lovely it would be to have a family like this… He wiped his mouth with his napkin and tried to remain still. He didn't want to disturb them, after all.

"Ivan?"

He looked up. Gilbert was holding up a cracker. "Do you want to pop one with me? As new members of the family?"

"I…"

"Go on, pull it!" Alfred urged.

Ivan carefully grabbed an end.

"Hold very tight and pull it!"

Ivan pulled and dragged Gilbert across the table. "Oh!" He quickly let go. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," Gilbert said, rubbing his sore shoulder. "What do those Russians feed their kids…"

"Try again," Alfred said. "Come, I'll help you." He grabbed one end of the cracker. "There's a trigger inside. You need to squeeze it as you pull."

Ivan nodded and gripped his end.

"Ready?"

He nodded.

Alfred pulled and Ivan held on tight, startled by the pop. "You did it!" Alfred took the paper crown and planted it on Ivan's head. "There you go! You're a king now!" He kissed Ivan's cheek.

Ivan touched the crown and blushed. A king… That made him sound pretty cool…

"Do you think your family likes me?" Ivan asked, watching the whipped cream dissolve in his hot chocolate. Everyone had gone to bed already and it was just the two of them on the couch, curled in a blanket.

Alfred got more comfortable on Ivan's lap. "Like you? They'd adopt you if they could."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah."

"…Me?"

"Yes, you." He looked into Ivan's confused eyes. "Believe it or not, but you're not that hard to like."

"But… I don't really have much of a family…"

"Then you can become a part of mine."

"They'd let me?"

"I'm not sure they'll even let you leave here anymore. Especially Dad." Ivan hugged him happily. Alfred chuckled and stroked his hair. "How long are you staying for?"

"Well, I haven't bought a plane ticket back to Russia yet, so until then…"

"You'll be here with new year's?"

"If you'll have me."

Alfred hugged him. "I'd have you all the time if I could."

"We could…"

"Mm?"

"N-Nothing…"

"Tell me." Alfred rubbed Ivan's blushing cheek with his thumb.

"Well, Russian Christmas is on January 7…"

"Did you have plans?"

"Not yet."

"I could try to come over if I can get some days off work. Hopefully, my boss will be more lenient than yours."

Ivan stayed quiet.

"If you want to, of course."

"I do…"

"But?"

He bit his lip.

"Ivan, what is it?"

"I may have done something stupid…"

"What did you do?" Alfred set his cup down on the table and pulled the blanket closer around them.

"I quit my job."

"What? Why?"

"They wouldn't let me take these days off. You looked so sad when I told you I couldn't come. So, in a moment of impulsivity, I quit my job and bought a ticket to America."

"Ivan…"

"I know."

"What will you do when you get back?"

"I haven't made any solid plans yet. I just wanted to be with you."

Alfred sighed. "Stay until at least January 7. We can look into new jobs for you together if you want to. I don't feel comfortable sending you back without being sure you'll be able to pay for food and rent." If Ivan would just move in with him... But this really wasn't the time to bring that up.

"About that…"

"What?"

"I've been thinking in my hotel room… Nothing substantial, just throwing ideas around..."

"And?"

"It's not like I haven't worked in America before, during my time studying here…"

"Are you saying…"

"I should be able to find a job here. I don't think the paperwork will be a problem either. I could try to find a place to live nearby."

"Or you could move in with me." It was out before he could stop himself.

"You… You'd want that?"

"Ivan, when will you learn that I love you very, very much?"

"I don't know, I'm a tough learner. Maybe you should say it a few times more," he said with a cheeky grin.

Alfred rolled his eyes and kissed him. "I love you, Ivan. Please move in with me."

"How can I say no to you. Yes, I'll move in with you."

Alfred kissed him and Ivan barely managed to put his cup aside. He laid Alfred down on the couch and kissed down along his neck. "You're still cold…"

Alfred shivered. "Well, it's like minus one hundred out there…"

"Just a chill breeze. But we should do something about it. You can't catch a cold on Christmas."

"Then hurry and warm me up."

"Working on it." Ivan pulled off both their shirts and kissed Alfred deeply, pulling his body close. Alfred moaned and wrapped his legs around Ivan's waist.

"Ivan?"

"Mm?"

"You're the best Christmas present ever."

"And this is the best Christmas I've ever had."

"Merry Christmas, Ivan."

"Merry Christmas."