#so I'd consider it being when I was 4 bc my dad's friend in the army was gay and he was an absolute dick abt him

[raeygina-george]

all the ones you feel like answering rn

1- What’s your favorite color?

take a guess (if you said pink you are correct)

2- Coffee or tea?

tea!!!!!! coffee smells too strong it hurts my nose & it's really bitter so i have to add way too much sugar & and Very Sweet hurts similarly

4- If you were a time of day, what time of day would you be?

6 am.... that's just the most me time of day

5- What’s your phone wallpaper?

my lock screen is the "shoutout to women gotta be one of my favorite genders" meme & my home screen is a gravestone drawn by my friend that says "rip raey drowned in the pussy"

7- What would you do if you found a 100 dollar bill on the sidewalk?

I'd probably just leave it tbh.... or if no one was around i guess id take it

8- Do you have any piercings or tattoos? 

basic ear piercings only.... I've thought about getting more but i can't and I probably wouldn't want to anyways

10- What song would you play at your funeral?

never gonna give you up by rick astley. the phrasing of the question kind of makes it seem like id sit up in my coffin & reach for my phone to press play before dying again which i think would be really funny

11- When’s the last time you cried?

a couple days ago cuz i was arguing with dad about the olympic boxing drama and he said something that pissed me off askfhksjd

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

i just want to be remembered as like. a person whose name you'd put a heart next to in your contacts. a person who made you smile and laugh

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

the date so that i could know how much time i have left

15- What would you do if you found a dead body in a hotel room?

erm idk I'd probably go to the front desk and say Hey there's a dead body ... can you do something..........

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying?

of course we're living. suffering, though a bitch, is also a part of life

17- Do you like the taste of blood?

nah

18- If you had to lose a body part, which one would you choose and why?

uterus cuz it's kinda annoying

20- If there's hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there?

i don't know.... i imagine that if heaven & hell were real almost nobody would get into heaven at all because the nature of humanity is to be flawed. i don't think it's even possible to be a perfect human.... and the concept of what's sin and what's not is constantly changing so even by being born in this world i could be considered a sinner.

tl;dr i don't know what counts as a "good person" so i can't answer

21- How would you dispose of a body?

probably really badly.... i think id sink it in a river or the sea because the water can wash away the evidence

22- Would you kill someone you don’t know to save someone you love?

if i was actually in this situation i would probably be paralyzed by the choice and miss my window for killing that stranger

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you?

die peacefully. no one is going to remember me after the earth crumbles to dust anyways. and im dead so i don't care what others think

24- Would you rather eat part of a human heart or a whole human eye?

a whole human eye bc i read on the internet once that that's the yummiest part of a human

[jewishrizahawkeye]

i really liked the seven husbands of evelyn hugo and i had no idea it was an unpopular opinion on tumblr until now 😭 that being said, i do want to know why (in your opinion) it's so hated bc i'd like to understand

uhhhhh i can’t fully answer why it’s hated here. i did like it at first but over time i just realized it’s not the best.

1. taylor jenkins reid got evelyns ethnicity wrong as i saw someone point out that where she says she’s from her family would drink rum and not tequila (if i remember right)

2. i personally don’t like how she handled celia’s character over time. she spent the majority of the book being biphobic and insecure that evelyn would leave her then she is just accepting of evelyn being bi right at the end. i understand it was a different time but we weren’t really given any like formal conversation about it and it feels very… cheap i guess to just throw it in at the end. (im also just really tired of seeing sapphic relationships where one party is insecure the other would leave her for a man but that’s a whole other can of worms)

3. i don’t like how connor hugo (i think that’s her name, it’s evelyn and harry’s daughter) was treated. she was a very minor character and we only see her in chunks and it’s her being stable before harry dies, her being a wild child after his death, evelyn literally telling her she’s gay and so was her dad and they had a lavender marriage only for her to say “i don’t care please just get out”, then she becomes buddy buddy with celia’s brother and magically all her issues that are from her fathers death are solved. like that’s a fine arc but we weren’t shown any of that and she in my opinion should’ve had more story time. but the point of the biography is to talk about her relationships so it wouldn’t really come up

4. i think TJR handled celia’s biphobia poorly (as stated before) but i also think she handled evelyns reaction to it poorly. like it might’ve just been evelyn assigning blame to herself in grief but the second time they broke up stemmed a lot more from celia being insecure about evelyn leaving her for a man rather than evelyn not fully considering celia’s feeling like when she married mick riva in vegas. like yes, evelyn should’ve said she was going to have sex with him but her being so fucking upset that she was planning on doing a quickie wedding to keep suspicions off them having an affair and RUINING both their lives feels really fucking weird. like yes, they shouldn’t have had to hide their relationship like celia says, but celia should be very well acquainted with what would happen to them and their careers if they’re found out. but again in my opinion celia’s reaction to that was more due to, how TJR says it, celia viewed evelyn as “a lesbian when she was happy and a straight woman when she was upset”. the second time though i’ll give more evelyn credit on her saying it’s primarily her fault since she should told celia she was going to do a sex scene with her ex husband, but celia still being so hurt and offended about harry and evelyn having sex so evelyn could get pregnant (to once again AVOID SUSPICION THAT THEYRE GAY) to the point she wouldn’t let evelyn do things for her job and career because it made her insecure doesn’t leave a good taste in my mouth. like the biphobia should’ve been explored a lot more and feels oddly used at times.

5. this book has done irreparable damage to gaylors/kaylors as a lot of them now think this somehow proves taylor swift is gay and will one day come out ala evelyn hugo style and have just now assumed she closeted despite taylor saying she’s straight and uncomfortable by people saying she’s dating/fucking her friends (like REPEATEDLY). so i personally don’t like the book for that reason too

that’s all i can think of and i’m running late ti get ready for work now but if i think of anymore i can add to this (full disclosure haven’t read this book since 2021 and i did enjoy it at first)

[barbieb0y]

journey: INTERNET OVERDOSE.

yeah yeah shameless song reference in the title but hey it fits my acc's theme

if you can't guess it yet, in this one i'll be talking about my relationship with the internet. of course, i still mostly am on the internet, or at least on my pc and phone, but i'm doing a whole lot better than i did a few years back lol

anyways sit back bc this is gonna be a long one.

i've always had a fascination with modern gadgets, considering i grew up with gaming consoles and a dad who's a computer science graduate.

but i never used these gadgets to actually engage with the wide community on the internet - it was mostly for playing video games, to nobody's surprise. not that i was old enough to really understand anything that's being said on the net; then again, even toddlers are being let on to social media these days.

it truly started when i was around 11. though technically it doesn't classify as a social medium, i remember being on quizup. it was there where i had my first real taste of online social interaction - it's just that it wasn't too memorable so i buried it in the depths of my mind. what came after is much more interesting (despite the sudden onslaught of... graphic pictures of the popstar that clogged the taylor swift quiz community section at one point, but i digress).

it was there where i discovered about amino - a friend of mine there shared a screenshot of what seemed to be a community dedicated to blogging exclusively about taylor swift (i was a swiftie okay you don't have to rub it in) and curious, i asked them what it was. they told me it's an app called amino and you can join any community within the app. for whatever reason, that dragged me in.

i installed amino. i joined my first ever community - the swifties community (or as we call it, swifties amino). while amino is notorious for its roleplaying community, i participated in none of that (i would argue that there is nothing roleplay about in a community about the worldwide popstar taylor swift but terminally online people are well... creative enough to come up with anything). if anything, i think i barely chatted with any of the people in that community. i mostly did my own thing, which is lurking. the only thing i remember posting was fan-made gifs of the song "out of the woods".

no, what really started my chronically online phase was none other than the sims amino. and here's the funny part - i wasn't even a massive sims fan at the time. my only exposure to it is playing the sims freeplay and the sims 2 on my old psp. but since the app was still new (or at least, the main app - there were always the standalone aminos that were their own apps, including a sims amino app i believe), it was one of the only aminos available at the time that didn't really intimidate me. so i joined, for whatever reason.

it was a small community. almost everyone was new. i remember using basic gif filters to edit pics of sims was mind-blowing back then. most people actually play the sims 4, which was new (and paid; expensive at that) at the time, and it made me jealous - i only had a mobile game and an old game to speak for. and that year, i actually begged my mom to buy me a copy of the game. once i got good grades for an exam that year, i got my copy i ordered online which was, funnily enough, the first instance of online shopping i did that i can recount. (fun fact: i also got the get together expansion pack but i don't remember if that was the same year or not)

i wanted to be like everyone else, posting their sims with a pretty gradient background. i read blogs on how to edit. i wrote my own nonsensical, corny stories that i keep cancelling because i couldn't commit. there was a point where i'd post everyday. a point where i put my deepest, darkest thoughts into an amino post because i thought it'd be entertaining. honestly, it would've been simple if it was just that.

but there was a desire for approval.

if you didn't know, aminos have this section called the "feature page" and upon entering an amino, you're instantly greeted with this section. mods can pick certain posts they think are feature-worthy and put them there. we called it "featuring" posts. it's supposed to bring attention to these posts that deserve more attention. i can't remember the first time i got featured but by god was it exhilarating.

logging in and seeing my post, sometimes at the top if it was still newly featured, was like being fed food after not having eaten for a week. i didn't know i was so starving for attention until that moment. or maybe i never craved it - that amino only sparked that need, that thirst.

i remember i would feel particularly down if a post of mine (that i think deserves to be featured) was ignored and only got 20 likes instead of 300. it's funny to think about that now because nowadays, from what i've check briefly on the web, even featured posts get only 12 likes at best. it's eerie to see an amino in such a state. it's like a graveyard.

it kind of give me the image of what it would be like if we actually destroyed the internet.

this is also where i found my first ever friend group. i remember all their (user)names still. back then, i had a tendency to "fictionalize" the people i knew, including myself. i remember making sims that "represented" us. they were even color-coded, with mine being red because that was my favorite color at the time. i've also fictionalized friends outside that group. wrote a fictional story including us living fictional lives, loving fictional men i created, even straight-up putting these characters in situations that should've made my friends uncomfortable. but they never said anything about it. i was lucky. but also not.

one of the members of this friend group actually inspired me to start writing because they were a writer themselves. and after time, they decided to make an amino of their own, exclusively for writing. all four of us joined and some others - including my very own biological sister. i still think of that place as a safe haven; it's a small place with mostly familiar faces and i can write anything i want with little to no judgement.

eventually we all started leaving amino. or at least, they did. i always had trouble moving on when it came to friends leaving, for whatever reason. but perhaps it's because i always had a small glimmer of hope inside of me that told me "but what if they come back?" and that i have to be there when they come back. but they never did.

i was feeling dejected by then. i tried searching for another amino to belong in. fortunately, around the same time, i've been joining my sister in on her danganronpa marathon so i've taken a liking to the franchise. and so that meant i was more than eligible to join danganronpa amino.

i joined. everything happened in a blur - yet it feels like i could remember it all crystal clear too. i remember posting my first ever fanfic there. i don't remember what my first post was. i remembered what was probably could only be described as falling platonically in love with your best friend. i don't remember if i had breakdowns there or not. i remember fictionalizing people and them enabling it yet again. i don't remember what i said to make people even like me.

i remember being ghosted by the girl i loved.

and i remember it cutting deep.

after all the posts i wrote about her, for her, after messaging her "i love you" everyday even after she left, after everything.

i held on. just in case she came back. but she never did. they never do.

i couldn't read any instances of her name for a while after that. being there made me yearn for all the good times again and finally, after a while of holding on to that little glimmer of hope, somehow, i left.

either i was already a part of it or until after i left danganronpa amino did i join bandori amino. i had little to no negative experiences here - if anything, i was the negative experience. i had a deep hatred for this one character back then and for whatever reason, i often had to make it known to others. but otherwise, all i really did was post edit sets, post blogs explaining why i love the characters i love and sell reroll accounts (and no the price is not real money. it's amino coins). there was a point where i did lose my game account to a scammer posing as an account farmer though.

but things really went down once i joined a3! amino, a bit after i joined bandori amino. i simply wanted to be surrounded by people who enjoys the same game i do but boy oh boy did i get more than i bargained for.

don't get me wrong. a3! amino is still a memorable place for me and i have friends and family i made through it that i am still connected and close with to this day. but to say that it was all positive would be a lie.

underneath the facade of a welcoming community, i could see fights breaking out and users making fun of each other behind each other's backs. i thought i wouldn't ever be a part of all that but well, life is unpredictable, isn't it?

i had these 3 friends. 2 of them were adults, 1 around my age. these adults does not get along with the 1 kid - and honestly, i do not blame them because this kid is insufferable and i was just too naive to really accept it earlier. that i was just friends with her because i pitied her.

one of the adults told me to tell this kid that she has problems, blah blah blah, whatever. i told my friend to get her shit together and solve her own problems and not drag me into it. well, guess what? i got dragged into it. she got mad at me instead, telling me i shouldn't listen to my other friend.

it's to the point where i would feel uncomfortable interacting with any of them. i didn't know what to do. and i don't remember what the resolution was anyway. i only remember how the whole situation made me stressed out like never before. i simply wanted everyone to get along. it seemed so easy before.

another minor dilemma i experienced was when i joined this entertainment team. and though that was where i met my younger sibling and close friend, it was also where my inferiority complex grew. everyone in the team was an artist - except for me. i was the only writer accepted, for whatever reason. though i am honored, at some point, it just made me feel small.

we published a new edition of our magazine, which was in the form of a post. everyone's submissions were amazing - and to close it all off, my fanfic was featured at the very bottom. i had hoped it would make people happy - and now i have no doubt but it must've - but one comment, though innocuous, i took to heart. the user praised all the art featured in the post,

but did not comment on my writing.

i thought that my work is not worth reading. not worth consuming. not worth experiencing, just because you can't just take it in by simply looking. and knowing me, i'm known for how quickly i lose motivation. that one comment was enough to bring me down. i brought it up with my other teammates and they sympathized with me, but eventually i had to leave due to my lack of motivation and, again, inability to commit to anything.

i left both the team and amino altogether. i couldn't take what this app was doing to me anymore. i needed a new start. and somehow, somehow, past me thought twitter was a good idea. most likely because some of my friends were already on twitter by then.

i moved. i made an account. behaved like any other twitter user would - with delusion. eventually, i made two accounts. then 3. then many more. there was my public account, my private, a writing account, a gimmick account, roleplaying accounts (ironic how i got into roleplaying after leaving amino), bot accounts, the works. i was still desperate for attention, for approval, for acceptance still.

again, just like amino, i've had positive experiences with twitter; as amusing as it is, i've met most of my current friends through twitter, through the many, many accounts i made. i fondly remember how a friend of mine messaged a roleplaying account i ran and told me that i'm doing such a great job and how they really appreciate me. i didn't think my actions held so much meaning and significance to someone. and to think there might be more out there who holds the same regards but are not bold enough to tell me.

i've had my dark moments of course. who hasn't impulsively, secretly deactivated when they were feeling like garbage to see if people would notice if they're gone or not? it did work once for me so it's not completely foolproof; but it is also, obviously, unhealthy. it's done nothing but feed into my delusion that nobody cared about me when, really, they do but they need to care about themselves - or even someone else who needs it more - at that time.

i've felt isolated too. it seemed like everyone was good at something, or at least part of a majority, except for me. it was like secondary school all over again. i remember being one of the only men in the self-shipping community and even then, i didn't self-ship romantically and/or sexually so it basically meant nothing. i was nothing.

then came the thing that pushed me to the edge.

it was an innocent tweet. out of curiosity, i was simply asking fellow aroaces at the time if they mind being in a non-platonic relationship. suddenly, a mutual of mine came into my replies with a screenshot taken from my rentry. the screenshot read "i don't think all the bandori girls are lesbians". the caption read "now what is this".

i didn't think much of it at first. it's unrelated to what i was asking and besides, shouldn't have they known that when they checked my rentry before they followed me? it barely took a few minutes for people to come and attack me for it though. first it was just 2 people. then 3. then suddenly hundreds were quote-retweeting me with nasty comments and even some death threats. only 2 of my friends defended me. only a gimmick account i liked was respectful to me.

i laugh at the incident now but at that time, i felt myself break. when i hugged myself, i could hear cracks. i asked myself if i should listen to those death threats after all. maybe they'll be satisfied if such a terrible person like me, who dares misrepresent some anime girls, died at their hands.

i held on, for the sole reason that national exams were nearing and that it's a bad decision to let a bunch of stupid terminally online maggots decide whether i live or die because of fictional girls. but it still affected me greatly. i went private.

one day, i was having it particularly bad. i remember that evening vividly: i forgot i accidentally released one of my cats and i had no idea where she went. she's been out since morning and hasn't come back for a few hours now. i start crying while studying, feeling guilty for not just her but everything. i never seemed to be able to do anything right. i called myself a cursed child, that i'm nothing but a burden and an abomination.

i deactivated, thinking it's just one of those times.

i cried, until the cat showed up at my door eventually. i felt relieved by then, that maybe im not such a failure after all. i debated reactivating now that i felt better but i thought that i could probably focus on studying better if i didn't. so i didn't.

the days i went on without twitter were the most liberating and peaceful days i had. nothing else was on my mind other than studying. i'd study while listening to my favorite albums, with a tinge of curiosity as to what's happening on twitter at the time. but i persisted.

eventually, i came back - but only to announce that i'm quitting twitter and make sure my friends know how to keep in contact with me. it only lasted a few days.

then i deactivated.

permanently.

it felt like a huge burden's been lifted off my shoulders. to this day, i haven't attempted to make a new account at all, even though i had the urges. but i'm proud to say i've been clean of twitter for a year and a few months now.

fast-forward to the present day, i am now on tumblr again and it's a peaceful alternative. plus, i'm not on here all the time like i was with twitter. it's just easier to search for content here, what with the tags and all. and it's the only social media i need.

people can say that i'm missing out for not having instagram or tiktok all they want. i'm comfortable where i am right now.

plus, maybe they haven't overdosed like i have just yet.

crazy to think ive been on the internet for like what 7 years now? but it was my only safe space for a while (and still is to some extent) so i dont blame past me

tomorrow will be the last day i post something for this miniseries. i already have a draft in the works so stay tuned~

[fish-nailed-to-a-cross]

Yes, mostly. 2. My dad, as he left the house. 3. I regret all those phone numbers and emails I get from people that I don't use. 4. Yeah. 5. Single. 6. Peacefully, either with my kids and their children at my bedside or alone in my sleep in my house. Preferably I'd like to die of natural causes. 7. Some sort of semi-spicy sushi roll. It was really good. 8. Nothing official on a team or anything. I play basketball sometimes with these kids that live in my neighborhood. 9. Not usually. Sometimes out of boredom, or if I have a hangnail. 10. I don't remember. I think sometime last year, when I got into an argument with my brother and things escalated. 11. I don't know. I try to tell myself I don't, but I think I still do. I have to give them up though. 12. Never. 13. No. I think I may be incapable of hating anyone. I heavily dislike some people though. 14. I miss my best friends from my old city. 15. I have a very annoying ginger cat. Her name is Barbie, but we call her BC because we found her in the backyard. 16. Feeling pretty good, mostly. I just came back form the mall and brought a lot of stuff, so I'm happy about that but also feeling guilt for spending so much money at the same time. 17. No...I kinda want to though.... 18. A little bit. Not as bad as I used to be though. 19. I don't think so. I might have told my best friend that I liked him earlier, but I don't know. I think the current timeline I'm on now is okay. 20. Nowhere, except in my dreams. 21. I'm going to my first concert ever on Saturday. 22. Yes. I want as many as my partner feels comfortable with. I'll probably just start with the one and see how that feels. I would even have up to five. 23. Two. One in both earlobes. 24. I was homeschooled, but I had great interest in both English and History. 25. I miss the friends I made in the homeschool group I used to be a part of in my old town. I also miss the girls from my old book club who I lost contact with. 26. More sushi. 27. I don't think so. I hope not. 28. No. 29. No, thank goodness. I have one thing to be grateful for since I'm single. 30. My headache. 31. Platonic? Yes. Romantic? I'm not sure. 32. It changes all the time, but bright pink is a constant. 33. No. If anything I'm too gullible. 34. An AoT dream where Armin became the dark lord. 35. My mom. (If my reflection doesn't count.) 36. I think so. 37. To forgive. 38. Hard to say so far, but definitely one of the great ones. 39. Never been kissed :,( 40. Never...At least I think, maybe when I was very small 51. Tacos. Or tri-tip steak. 52. Yes. 53. I cleaned off some dirt and fur that were on my sheets that came from my dirty cat. 54. No. Never. I think if you find yourself falling out of love you should break up with them first before you cheat on them. 55. I don't think I am, but I can be sometimes. I don't like that part of me and I consider her another person. 56. Zero. I think. 57. Yes. True love isn't perfect but I do think it's real. 58. Rain. Especially when it only lasts for half the day and the sun comes out right after and there's rainbows out. 59. Yes. I grew up without seeing snow for so long and now I live in a place where I'm close to snow. I think it's beautiful. 60. Yes. 61. I don't know yet. 62. People talking to me and being genuinely interested in what I have to say. My cat sleeping with her back against me. Being told I'm pretty. 63. No. Unless it's to get my last name changed when I'm married, then I'm staying with the same name I have. I like it. 64. Never kissed :,( 65. I'd try to like them back, if I think there's potential for something there. 66. Yes. Two of them. If you include online friends then I have like five or something. 67. My brother. If you mean not someone related to me, and/or someone I really talked to and not just a stranger, then that'd be someone from my chess club who I am semi-acquainted with. 68. My best female friend, on the phone. I think. 69. Yes. 70. I think so. I don't know.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[nathank77]

9/8/24

4 p.m

I wish I was aromantic and asexual. It would solve my biggest problem, the fact that I will never find any woman who wants to spend her life with me. Imagine if all that mattered to me was significant friendships. John and Noah would be enough. I'd be able to find probably another 10 good gamer friends. Family if I had a normal one would be good enough... I'd just go to my dads...

I mean but I'm heavily romantic. I am so interested in making love I won't touch anyone I don't have feelings for. Sometimes I think what if Katie hit me up to have sex? Would I do it? I mean out of all my exes she would be the most likely I'd consider bc I would know she hadn't been with anyone else and she was seeking sex from someone safe and std free. Katie won't sleep with you unless she thinks about marrying you. She don't hook up. So thinking about her cause out of all my exes she is the only one I'd even think about it, bc she hasn't touched anyone other than me until her next boyfriend.

Nope I wouldn't. Even though it would be fun. Why? I truly have to be in love with someone... and I'm not in love with her.

I just want to find a single mom, raise her kids as our kids and just love them. And have them love me. And if I don't find that I won't feel like my life had any meaning.

Some people need careers to feel as though their life has meaning.. like my dad.

I could go the rest of my life not working and as long as I had a family, and a romantic partner that'd be enough. I wouldn't look back at my life and think why didn't I do more? I would feel like the luckiest man alive to have a wife who loves me and have the love of her and eventually our children. I'd feel complete. I'd feel like I had lived.

I just want to be called Dad and have a woman cry happy tears when I ask her to marry me. I just want her to show up at the alter and not leave me standing there. If I ever ended up with someone and got through the proposal I'd be shocked if when they played here comes the bride that the bride would walk down the aisle and not leave me standing there..

If I die and don't have a wife or kids, I'll never feel like I lived. Even if I became a lead researcher at Yale. I'd feel accomplished but I'd feel as though I missed out on truly living.

Part of me is like well it's a good thing you're disabled bc if anyone gives you a chance you can devote your entire life to them and your kids. You can be there everyday and make all sorts of memories and just be surrounded by love. Although that's the whole issue besides for being trans and no one being interested....

No woman is going to look at me a permanently disabled deadbeat and see marriage material or be like this guy is good enough to raise my kids.

I mean I can't see it happening. Love isn't enough to offer but it should be.

[automatismoateo]

I'm still confused how religion has survived as long as it has. via /r/atheism

I'm still confused how religion has survived as long as it has. I know there are low effort answers like "idiots everywhere" and shit that expounds on the a tiny bit. I seriously cannot figure out how it lasts so long, and doesn't seem to die. Totally anecdotal, but from when I was 2 I was surrounded in the southern Baptist life. Me, my mom, and dad would go to church every Sunday with my great aunt and her family. Also usually included my grandma and great grandma. It was the entire deal: go to breakfast, church, brunch/lunch, then to great aunt's house for gossip and toys. It was pushed beyond that by them, lots of times my great aunt would remind little 3-4 year old me that "there is a special place in hell for non believers but I'm safe bc my family will make sure I believe" and other things by other members. My mom and dad never really PUSHED IT, but dad was firm on us knowing he feels it may not always be the right way, but it's always the best way to love God. Mom has always had very personal views that really no one else had ever liked, but if there is any God it would be her version. Although they weren't Bible thumping hard, every friend that me and my siblings ran into before adulthood happened to be religious as fuck or at least very familiar with God. And it never ended. All that being said, even as a little kid it all felt like a game of pretend. I'd done that plenty of times, I pretended I was Batman, Spider-Man, power rangers, you name it. And as I got older all I could think is "why is everyone still pretending this?" and that eventually turned into "well it's clearly not pretend anymore but why?" and that eventually became "y'all aren't concerned with anything else?" to "y'all are concerned with everything but yourself" So as someone who has never been able to truly believe it outside of a child's game (ironic similarities considering the grooming history in the faith), I guess the big question I have is: When those multiple eviction/foreclosure notices on your house don't go away even though you prayed and prayed, read the word, did all the right moves... what's your excuse for that? You can't really believe god will actually do anything. And if you do, how has that went for you? What's gods batting average on answered prayers? Submitted March 12, 2024 at 01:17PM by lakewood13 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/WqJFSut)

[virmillion]

ranting but it's under a read more because i can already anticipate it being too long for the tags

surprise! it's identity issues again, because my personality starts and stops with what's societally wrong with me

0. main point. i think it's like. 80/20 im a he/him for he/hims, just to put it as plainly as possible. being called a girl makes me want to die, hearing my name feels Wrong unless it's my spanish prof mispronouncing it, i have a breakdown every time my shirt Demonstrates What's Under It. like. it's not a *tough* guess i don't think

0.5. off of that. we're gonna go down the list of issues actually that's what this is gonna be because i'm nothing if not linear in my non-sequential thoughts

1. my dad i feel there's a 70/30 shot he wouldn't be cool with it, mostly because we disagree on Everything. literally everything ever. that 30 saying he might be cool is in part because i'm his kid so maybe that means something, but in larger part because i haven't heard him make snide remarks about the jeopardy lady, and we take wins where we can get them. if i'm right, i lose a dad and it sucks, but it doesn't destroy me forever, because i've been emotionally preparing for it since before i knew i needed to. if i'm wrong, then it means i've wasted all this time thinking the worst of him only for that to be unfounded, AND it means he's the type of person to *make* me think i can't trust him, which feels worse than if he would just reject me outright

2. my mom there's a 50/50 shot she's cool with it. i honestly have no idea either way, i have no clue what she's like politically or socially or Anything, she's really careful about that (probably because she knows my dad and i could bicker back and forth for days about that sort of shit). i'm. truly fucking terrified of ever coming out to her because if she does accept me, cool solid my mom loves me for who i am, but again, she somehow planted the seed of doubt that maybe she wouldn't, and again, That Would Suck Major Ass. i honestly can't even consider the alternative, because i have no idea what i'd do if she *wasn't* cool with it, and i've never considered it so thoroughly as with my dad, so i'm not Already Prepared for it, yk? same thing with her being cool about the jeopardy lady, but also we have a family friend (~20f) dating a trans woman (~70f) and i've never heard a single word from her about the gay part or the trans part (just the age part, which, obviously). also she brought up watching that Gay In Indiana musical when it came to netflix, so she's at least cool with That Stuff. me being who i am and how i am, i think she's probably emotionally prepared for me to be Not Straight, but i don't know about the rest

3. my sister said she's cool with it and won't tell, and her husband has a trans younger brother, so good signs all around

4. obviously i know i need to like. do therapy about it either way, but then we run into the covid thing, where i quit therapy last year (?? or the year before i don't remember) partially because i Was Better but significantly moreso bc it was over zoom, with my dad in the house (bc he won't get a fucking JOB), which made therapy very hard when a good chunk of my issues were (and still are) about him. if i were to start again now (and we're working on it, though for unrelated reasons), i couldn't do it over the phone bc there's nowhere Totally Private here to do that, but i don't know if they offer in person. also, they have to be cool about lgbtq+ bullshit, and if they're *not,* i have to come up with an excuse to my mom for why They Won't Work Out, Time To Start Searching Again And Wait Another Two Months. i think she might be cool if i just said "they won't work out," and if pressed, "i don't feel comfortable talking about it," because she's always been chill about that sort of thing. i don't know

5. i've always had this hard deadline of I Will Not Come Out Until I Am Not Monetarily Reliant On My Parents, which. god. it SUCKS because i don't want them to feel like i'm Using them for money, that would be *awful,* but also. like. i am very much reliant on that, too, it's not an insignificant thing we'd be throwing away here if they don't accept me. and it's obviously more nuanced than "i love you" vs "i love your money," this isn't a two-sided die, but. i don't know. i need to vent, and i need to do it out loud, and i have no one with whom i can accomplish that. either way, i am less and less confident in that timeline every day. i really don't know if i can stand that much longer in the closet, honestly. not even "oh i need to be my truest self" but more like. it just *really fucking sucks* to be called shit that makes me viscerally uncomfortable, all the small stuff that adds up to So Fucking Much when i look at the road of Years And Years More Of This yet to come. i'm not optimistic enough to have started this post thinking i'd reach the end knowing for certain it'd go well if, hell, if i came out before february ended, but i really hoped writing all this might do Something, u know? guess not /shrug

[withoneheadlight]

Tagged by @lovebillyhargrove @thesummerof84 @pretty-bratty and maybe someone else? idk? it's been long? xD

1. Your zodiac sign? aquarius. and i kinda love it kinda feel this is the origin of all my problems yk? xD

2. Favourite season/time of year? ohhh. summer if I have to choose? but is more like whatever happens in here between the end of april and the beginning of November xD. ithis is a rainy land, so the moment sun starts showing up more regularly is a blessing.

3. Your fav time of day/night? definitely the golden hour.

4. Your most MOST fav Billy scene? ahhh, choosing. not my strongest point. but my fav is probably his scene with neil. the whole scene, where in one sitting we get to see the rollercoaster of a human being that is billy hargrove. from the wink to the ass shake to the dick-perfumation to the way he calls neil dad and can't help but complain to the sudden change in his stance and the silence and that hard way he keeps staring at his father even if he's already crumbling inside and holy shit, the moment tears fall and he covers his face when neil closes the door. fuck fuck fuck.

but i also have a few favorite billy hargorve milliseconds like,

and my favorite favorite one,

5. Food you're craving atm: i'm currently obsessed with muesli xD. but the right answer is definitely ice-cream. always ice cream.

6. Your favourite kind of alcohol: i don't really like-like any? but i'm learning to enjoy the taste of white wine and i kinda enjoy hating beer as i drink it? it's a complex thing ok?. it's been ages since I've gone out but usually, i just drink whatever my friend is drinking bc i'm simple like that. coffee, please.

7. Neon lights/hustle and bustle OR the quiet of a small town/countryside? i LOVE city lights but they're too much for me on a regular basis. i'm def a small town/countryside kind of human. I've recently moved to the country and, in that sense, i'm the happiest I've been in a long long time.

8. Sugar!daddy Steve OR sugar!daddy Billy? Lmao)) : ohhhh sugar daddy steve yes, please. send recs my way.

9. The place you wanna be rn? as in the place to love— exactly where i am <3 but like, emotionally?, somewhere easier.

10. Heat or cold? more heart than cold? xD

11. Country you would like to visit (fingers crossed, they open the borders some time in the future) : wanna come back to Portugal because i'm. in. love. And there are so many others i'd love to go to but probably the states are on the top of the list, so i could see the places I've seen a million times already on my favorite movies. But above it all, i want to see a salt desert. Preferably Badwater, but i'd settle for any, really. i also LOVE gardens, and old houses' gardens the most. I'm dying to visit Bomarzo.

12. Yes, regrets 😔.. OR No regrets!!!!!!!!!😝 (About life, i guess??))), A lot. Really. But i wouldn't ever risk going back and not getting many of the things I've got rn.

13. ONLY IF YOU WANNA!!! A selfie??? I love your hearts already, let me love your beautiful faces)) hdhdushusadhhd i'm too shy to put my face out there on the internet xD, but i'll send it to you in the dms, love <3<3<3

*

and I'm l a t e for this and many of you have been already tagged, so i'm not gonna tag anyone this time but if you read this and wanna join? consider yourself tagged! <3

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Bio!Mom Max Black Headcanons

Two Broke Girls x MLB crossover

Based on this

When Caroline's movie about her life story was starting production Caroline finally had the courage to tell Max how she felt

The two dated for 4 months before Max decided they should marry

Mostly because she's known Caroline for so long that she literally knows she wants her as her wife

They were going to elope but Caroline told her dad which ended with Max being told by Martin he wanted his princess to be properly married

Sophie helped with the wedding not caring about the price

Caroline and Max got married at the prison where Martin was in so that Martin can give away Caroline and watch her get married

Of course, the news and paparazzi got wind of it and so much to Max's annoyance, the wedding was live streamed

They decided to just add the other's last name instead of one taking the other's

Caroline wore this with her hair in small side braid

Max wore this with her hair in a bun with a few curls framing her face.

Earl walked Max down the "isle"

Martin fought the urge to cry seeing his only daughter get married

He was glad that it was Max really

After a year of being married Caroline quietly mumbled as they cuddled

"Do you think about having kids?"

After a bit of talking they decided to use a sperm donor although, her twin cousin Darcy was able to get Bruce Banner to use both Max and Caroline eggs and the sperm donor to make the baby

Caroline was the one to carry the baby

A month before the baby was born their business boomed because of Caroline's movie and they eventually had a good business

They have a baby girl who they name Marinette Cathy Channing-Black

She had Caroline's eyes and Max's hair

Of course, Sophie wants to be the godmother, but Max puts her foot down that it would most likely be her cousin

Much to Caroline's shock Tony Stark is their daughter's godfather

Pepper is her godmother

As Marinette grows up she likes to watch her mom bake

She learns Korean from her uncle Han

Earl babysits whenever her moms are busy

Earl is her grandpa who she and Max consider him her dad

The cupcake business rises and they're very successful

Caroline is glad they finally left the crappy apartment

Caroline eventually is told by her father that she has an uncle who lives in Paris

It's Gabriel Agreste

Caroline is an Agreste in her mother's side really

And that he's the half sibling of Audrey Bourgeois

Audrey made Andre take her last name

Basically making her a Bourgeois through her father

This is when Mari is 13 years old and they decide to expand the cupcake business to Paris, France

Marinette is both excited and annoyed to move mostly because she won't be around to annoy uncle Tony or any of the Avengers

Marinette was almost the spitting image of her mother Max from her pale complexion to her hair, but she had Caroline's eyes and physic

When they get to Paris Caroline sets a meeting with both Gabriel and Audrey

Of course the two are shocked at the news that they're related through marriage

The reason being because Caroline's mom is Gabriel's sister and Martin is Audrey's older half brother

Making both of them Marinette's great uncle/aunt

And basically making two certain blondes her cousins

As well a certain cousin of said one of the blondes

Marinette is a mix of both her moms

She's sweet but very sarcastic and just...kinda like Max

The small Channing-Black family live in a decent comfortable home, not too flashy

Audrey brings Chloé over and Chloé is shocked to hear she has relative, she's somewhat excited

And Chloé is just...shocked to find out she's related to Adrien, her Adrikins before smiling widely

Chloé actually isn't a bully, she acts like it in school to see how far the stupid teacher would let it go and after she's mean to the ones she was she informs the person on what she was doing so as they don't feel bad

Surprisingly it's a lot and she's getting annoyed that Ms. Bustier won't at least do shit

On the first day of school when the Akuma strikes, much to her surprise Chloé freezes and pees herself before shielding herself behind Mari

"This sounds oddly familiar," the ravenette says giggling before scowling, "hey!"

The akuma strikes before Chloé has a chance to introduce her cousins because Adrien couldn't make it

Mari doesn't get the ladybug miraculous bc she just moved

Doesn't stop Master Fu from giving her the Cat Miraculous

She names herself Chat de Ruelle, Alley Cat

She doesn't keep it a secret from her moms who instantly tells Tony who comes whenever he can to help her train

Her outfit as Chat is similar to Lady Noir but her curls are in a messy bun and her mask covers her whole face except her mouth

It also has body armor and spikes on her wrists, tail, and elbows

She got Caroline's clumsiness but mostly that she has things fall on her or anything really but shes's not overly clumsy

On the second day of school she meets Adrien and she and Chloé practically ambush him and tell him that they're related

This makes Adrien happy but is somewhat confused before Mari informs him on how so

Mari is basically done with Ms. Bustier on the first day, complains to her moms who basically storm into the classroom to give her a piece of their mind

Does not help that Chloé turned in the evidence to the school board

Ms. Bustier quits before being informed she is not allowed to teach at all anymore

Adrien does become friends with Nino but not with Alya since Mari sits behind Chloé and Sabrina

Mari only becomes friends with Nathaniel and Nino

As the 3 cousins hang out she basically takes them wherever and causes trouble to the delight of her mom Max and to Caroline's concern

Caroline, Max, and Amilie basically threaten Gabriel to treat Adrien better

Although, Caroline and Max instantly adopt him

Max, Mari's mom, told Adrien that he reminded her of those two Amish boys who stayed with them for a week at the apartment

Chestnut came too by the way

Adrien doesn't flirt with Chat while he is Mister Bug because they're bffs

Max's cupcake shop is outside the school because Caroline wanted Mari to go to Dupont

Alya and Lila Salt

Alya is never told by Mari what her last name is, she usually doesn't pay attention to anyone else's name once her name is called but Mari has told her cousins and friend when addressing her to go by Black

So to the rest of the class she's known as Marinette Black

So she of course doesn't get an interview with Mister Bug because Chat told him not to because she doesn't trust the girl, she screams of wanting to be famous no matter what

Alya doesn't care for cupcakes the audacity

When Lila comes around she speaks about being a family friend of the Channing family

Bad luck for her is that Max and Caroline came to drop of Marinette at school much to her embarrassment

And Max basically ripped the Rossi girl a new one not caring who watched

Alya is shocked to see THE Caroline Channing at school

"How do you know Caroline Channing and Max Black? The great cupcake bakers?!" she screeches to Mari

"I'd like it if you don't speak to our daughter that way Ms. Césaire, please? We don't tolerate harassment from tabloid reporters," Caroline says gently while Max eyes the glasses wearing girl

"D...daughter?" Alya stutters before glaring at Marinette who rolls her eyes

"You're looking at me as if I killed your dog, they're my moms. My whole name is Marinette Cathy Channing-Black."

Everyone in the class sort of new because they always went to the cupcake shop after school

Lila does try her shit but Mari shrugs her off

Lila tries to hang off of Adrien but both Caroline and Max shut that shit down and tell Gabriel to get a restraining order on the Rossi girl as well a threat of lawsuit

Might make more and make this Maribat really idk yet

Tag list: @luciferge @zebrabaker @fantasyfandommaiden @unmaskedagain @queenmj10 @limetchenart @ascending-donotdisturb

[iridescentides]

hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅���🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

[olruggioofthetorch]

1, 4, 8, 10, 18, 21, 32, 33, 38, 44, 49, 51, 61, 67, 69 i'd like to know a lot about Tinsel lol

This took a minute but here's some Tinsel lore :3

1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

I knew I wanted to play a fighter but I feel like the bard stuff just naturally came with/evolved with Tinsel's character.

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

I think they'd pick Disguise Self, they'd have a lot of fun with it.

8. what are three songs that suit them?

Lost at Sea by Stick and Poke

I Go Hungry by Mother Mother

Some Nights by Fun.

10. how often do they lie? what situations cause them to be dishonest?

I feel like Tinsel start off lying more than they do now. They don't ever lie to be malicious it's more of a defense strategy.

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

I don't know if they really see themself as either? Sometimes they lead, sometimes they follow. They're flexible like that.

21. do they follow their head, their heart, or their body?

I want to say body bc they're gay and they're impulsive. They've spent the last 2 arcs flirting and eating chocolate cake in their downtime.

32. do they seek control, or do they want less of it?

Seek it. They don't have much of it in their regular life.

33. what makes them cry?

So far they've cried because they held a baby, because someone was mean to them and because Zona was nice to them. I think the question is "what doesn't make Tinsel cry?"

38. what do they smell like?

I feel like they always smell at least a little like warm animal fur. Occasionally they smell like perfume/cologne samples from magazines.

44. what do they need to learn?

I have no idea! I'm sure we'll learn together.

49. what makes them smile?

They smile for pretty girls and their friends and when they get the spotlight. Tinsel's got a little =3 face so it always kinda looks like they're smiling.

51. what is the most beautiful thing in the world, for them?

The most beautiful thing in the world for them is rolling around in warm sand as a seal. It's the little things, I guess.

61. what kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow?

Tinsel's not a big flower lover but they'd probably pick a sunflower because it looks like Zona.

67. what makes them laugh?

Dad jokes, mostly. Tinsel has a ridiculous sense of humor.

69. how would they describe their party members?

Tinsel started calling the party "The Boys" or "My Boys" which I think is real sweet.

Tinsel would say that Kira is so capable and mysterious. They think he's too blunt at times but they do like being around someone who says what he means. They trust Kira completely.

Zona is like.... They don't quite relate to him sometimes because their backgrounds are very different. I have a note somewhere where they describe him as "sunshine incarnate". They def consider him as a reliable friend.

[naturalbornlesbian7]

I am so happy bc I have finally overcome my longing and desperateness.🥳 After being really sad and deprived for almost 4 years I have made a big progress! I am no longer sad about being lonely. I am so proud that this day has come.

For the record, ever since I realised I was a lesbian at 15 I had been crying almost every single night because of my loneliness. Feelings of isolationg and self consciousness really had been poisoning my life. It was such a painful feeling in my chest. I remember thinking every year"okay,now this is the year when I finally get my first kiss etcetc..." and this toxic idea of innocent first love that every human being must experience at a young age....I am glad I got rid of it.

Can you imagine how much energy I must have waisted on being sad??? Its so toxic not only mentally but physically as well. Its draining. Watching all those lesbian movies and crying...Younger me was always wondering if this day would come...And it did! I dont feel sad anymore, I learn to love myself every day more and more. Of course,sometimes I feel just a little bit sad and lonely,but never to that extent I used to feel. Finally, I fall asleep peacefully without crying myself to sleep. I have found peace in being on my own. Moving out to another country and being here without my friends and family,without anyone literally,has helped me a lot. I am getting used to being on my own and I hella love it. I know that from now on it will only get more "lonely". As soon as I find a way to be self independent financially (I hope it will happen soon) I am cutting off everyone I know...I dont consider "coming out" an option at all. As soon as I can earn enough money to pay for my college,my own apartament and everything else..I say "bye-bye" to my friends and family. I dont really want to explain everything.

I mean, I love them. I have wonderful true friends,and a very supportive family but they are all homophobes and even tho I am super thankful to the universe that I have such wonderful people around me, as soon as I earn enough money I am cutting them off. I dont care if I will be completely alone then. This year I have realised that being alone is great for your mental health...Its soooo much better to be alone than tolerating all that. I mean everything feels sooo off when I am with them...I dont like it. I want to isolate myself from them. But not now. When I am ready.

I'd rather be completely alone for life but at least I can be fucking free. Right now I basically live in a golden cage. I have everything but what price I have to pay every day? To pretend someone else...Its sooo toxic. Always pretend that I enjoy listening how my straight best friends desribe their sex with guys and other stuff. How they all want me to find a hot spanish husband here soon. How my parents dream about having grandchildren. Damn, its unbearable... And on top of that, even without homophobia I still feel like I 've outgrown the relationship with my parents. My mom and dad keep texting me everyday, I love them and I worry about them too but I dont feel like...responding...At least not that often. I dont want it. When I am finally on my own, I will only text them on and off, not very often. And I will always send them money every month when I earn enough as a way of telling them that I am thankful for all the opportunities they gave me. But thats it. I dont feel like visiting or texting every day at all. I am no longer a child. I just want to live my own authentic life even if it means living it completely alone.

[nathank77]

4/23/24

I keep trying the no glasses thing:

I mean my face feels naked and weird. Maybe I could overcome the contact thing if I try hard enough but if I pick contacts at my next eye exam I won't be getting glasses. It'll be an option though.

I mean when I take full body shots like this:

If my glasses aren't on I feel like I look weird, like it isn't me.. but if I throw on a hat or something maybe that'll change it. Idk

I'm thinking about covering myself in tattoos to remove the nerd status it would really be changing who I am but I mean 🤷

I'd get, "All I am is a dead reflection" on my forearm. And, "Misery Made me" on my other arm. Maybe some other quotes I live by. I've always been the type of person to prefer qoutes/words as tattoos over designs. I mean. It's not really me but does anyone really like me for me?

I've noticed even guys with tattoos look nerdy with glasses on. I'd have to lose them and do the tattoos. I could do a blade on my forearm near My elbow. I'd do a spider Web on my elbow.

And I really like the ak-47 or even the Mac- 10. I'd consider getting the swordfish gun potentially. I mean if I just get contacts and get over my fear and do some of this I could look pretty bad ass, as a bald guy.

I'm just trying to have sex appeal. Women and men like tattoos. It's considered attractive. So why not? Would i regret it? Prob but women would find me attractive. Unfortunately I have the shy nerdy geek look going for me and women do not like that.

As I've been single for a while, I've learned quickly despite liking transmen, I don't even want to consider being with one. I see myself marrying a woman. I like women better in all regards.

I don't exactly identify as bi like I used to. Women really like edgy guys, I think men like edgy women too.

Nerds are only attractive if the girl or boy has a thing for us. I can't change my personality.. and I am a nerd and geek in that way and its not going to change but-

As handsome as I look with my glasses, people immediately label me as a nerd. And I mean sure I have 43 likes on okcupid representing myself as is but 30 or more are from the Philippines or Kenya.

I don't see myself getting married unless I consider one of these girls. I don't have money, or a job, all i have is a lot of love and time. I could be a stay at home dad.

I've got to overcompenstate in some way to get women to think I'm worth talking to.

I'm that guy who is immediately friend zoned bc I'm a nerdy gamer.

If I was a bald bad ass edgy gamer I mean it adds appeal. It isn't me. But I don't want to marry a woman looking for her green card.

Tattoos and a lack glasses makes women drool. Even men. I look at some guys with tattoos like brayson and I think 90% of his tattoos are bad but nonetheless he is good looking and they make him look better and once he stopped wearing his glasses he went from a nerd to an edgy bad ass. I don't like him and I'm not pursuing him but thats kinda my point

You can see his eyes bc his glasses aren't there anymore as a barrier and his tattoos draw you in and he is a magnet for people like most people with tattoos.

Nerds are only attractive in like 3 ways:

1) she's a nerd or she's into nerds

2) she likes his personality and falls for him after years of being friends.

3) if the nerd is rich/successful. With a good job like computer engineering or scientist or something like that.

We don't attract attention from people. Idk I mean I'm highly considering changing what I look like so I don't have to give a girl from the Philippines a green card.

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb