#so I was forced to walk around a extremely packed mall and try on clothes for the rest of the afternoon

[star-mum]

I was supposed to rot in my bed today until later in the afternoon where I’d go meet my friends to play board games/rpgs

[gettin-a-lil-hanse]

You Found Me - Chapter 3

Read it on AO3

Pairing: No pairing (but SeongJoong is involved)

Genre: Slight Fluff, Angst 

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2k+

Summary: Wooyoung opens up about his past.

Tags: Kitty Hybrid! Wooyoung, Found Hybrid, Abandonment, Caring For a Kitten

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mentions of death, mentions of scars (not related to self-harm), unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcoholism, mentions of homophobia, mentions of prostitution, mentions of sex trafficking (?)

A/N: This chapter will be much heavier than the last two, and I want you all to please read the trigger warnings, and please read with caution. Take care, take time if you need to. 

The trip to the vet went as smoothly as any normal vet appointment is expected to go. (Vet? Doctor? Hongjoong really wasn’t sure what to call it.) Wooyoung was not very fond of the intimidating-looking doctors and acted accordingly. Honestly, Hongjoong was a bit surprised, seeing as the hybrid had taken a liking to the couple fairly quickly, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

Hongjoong stayed by Wooyoung’s side throughout the duration of the visit, providing him with the necessary level of comfort needed to get through the appointment. In the end, the vet deemed him healthy aside from slight malnourishment and some bruising. The vet also told the couple that hybrids coming in with scars like his were a pretty common occurrence as of late and that it was a clear sign of abuse, but Wooyoung tuned out of the conversation at that point.

From there, the three of them took a drive to the mall. Hongjoong insisted that they build the hybrid a brand new wardrobe consisted of the highest fashion, though Wooyoung tried to convince him that comfortable clothes are all that he needed. Seonghwa could only laugh, knowing deep down that he too was excited to finally get to dress someone that would (probably) cooperate and let him. Hongjoong’s and Seonghwa’s styles clashed quite a bit, so it was rare that they got to dress each other up. 

Wooyoung quickly found out that he hated the mall. There were too many stores, too many displays, too many people. Everything was too much. The stores had bright, colorful signs, many of them flashing which was extremely distracting. Honestly, how was someone supposed to get through their shopping with everything like this? But that wasn’t even the worst thing. No, the worst thing was the staring. It seemed like, from the moment the three of them walked through the automatic glass doors, all eyes were on them. Wooyoung couldn’t tell if the eyes were on him or the couple, since they were so unabashedly affectionate with each other. Even Wooyoung knew that this side of town was known for being full of stuck-up, high-class rich people. As a matter of fact, all of the stores in the mall, as far as he could tell, were high-end and expensive-looking.

“Hey, Hongjoong? I thought that we were just getting clothes for me to wear around the apartment?”

“Sweetheart, we’re buying you clothes. It doesn’t really matter where you wear them.” 

Hongjoong chuckled and pulled the hybrid into his side, making for a very awkward walking position which only drew more attention to them. Wooyoung leaned in close to whisper into his ear, eyebrows furrowing and creating crease lines on his forehead,

“People are staring…”

“People always stare.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

“More like I’ve learned not to care. Those people don’t deserve my energy, let alone my emotions. It’s not easy, of course, but it’s better this way.”

Hongjoong turned to face the hybrid still tucked under his arm and for a moment—though it felt as if they moved in slow motion—Wooyoung forgot how to breathe. Wooyoung swore that Hongjoong poured glitter in his eyes. How else would they sparkle so much?

“Don’t let unworthy people take up your time and energy.”

 “You know,” Seonghwa started, snapping Wooyoung out of the trance he didn’t realize that he was in, “Hongjoong taught me a lot. It’s cheesy, but he really did make me a better person, and he still does to this day.”

Hongjoong let out a soft laugh, loosening his grip on the hybrid’s shoulder to move his hand to his back. 

“I have that effect on people, apparently.”

------

The shopping trip came and went without too much fuss—seeing as the hybrid wanted no more attention on him than there was already—and the boys filed into the apartment with armfuls of bags. Hongjoong, ever the chatterbox, kept the mood up and kept the conversation going. Hongjoong loved his days off and was in a very good mood. Now that they had an addition to the household—temporary as it may be—he cherished his time at home even more. So when he got a call from work saying that he needed to come in for an emergency meeting, he was visibly upset. The only bright side, he figured, was that Seonghwa and Wooyoung would be forced to spend some alone time together. He hoped that they would be a little less awkward by the time he got back home.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung sat in the guest room that they spent the afternoon cleaning and removing tags from, folding, or hanging up Wooyoung’s new clothes. There was a thick silence between them until Seonghwa decided that now was as good a time as any to try to get to know him. 

“So, tell me about yourself.”

Wooyoung’s ears flicked as he looked up, a bit caught off-guard by the blunt statement.

“Well… what do you wanna know?”

Seonghwa shrugged with a slight smile playing on his lips, eyes cast down on the shirt he was so neatly folding.

“I mean, the more we know about you, the better.”

Wooyoung finished wrapping a jacket around the hanger and stood with a soft sigh, hanging the item up in the closet.

“Where do I even begin… As you probably already know, hybrids are created in labs by scientists and then sold to various facilities. From those facilities, we’re sold to buyers and I was sold to a nice young woman. She was my owner, but she hated addressing the relationship as such. She really cared for me and when she fell sick, I did the same for her. It got to the point where I spent every waking minute caring for her, but I didn’t think anything of it because she started to get better. So when she passed I was absolutely devastated.”

Seonghwa saw the shift in his face, grabbing his hand gently and pulling him to sit before he got too lost in his memory and broke down on the floor. To his surprise, the tears gathered but never fell, so he stayed quiet, allowing Wooyoung to continue.

“After she passed, I, along with her other possessions, was auctioned off to the highest bidder. The bidder that I was auctioned off to was an assistant for a man who ran a “hybrid home” which, news flash, was nothing like a home. It would be more accurate to call it a hybrid whore house.”

Seonghwa’s jaw clenched, taking in a breath through his nose. He shouldn’t be so angry since Wooyoung was alive and well now, he thought, but something akin to rage began to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. 

“To say that my life there was miserable is an understatement. We barely got an opportunity to look after our hygiene, they kept our schedules packed with clients, and when we weren’t busy with either of those things, we were probably being scolded for something. Nothing was ever good enough for The Master. Someone was always doing something wrong in his eyes and he made sure that we paid for it. That’s how I got to be so… beat up. I don’t know if you saw them, but I know for a fact that Hongjoong saw them when he bathed me…”

Wooyoung toyed with the hem of his shirt before lifting it up, revealing the fading bruises and various-sized scars lining his back and torso. Seonghwa’s eyes racked his body, tears of anger welling up in his eyes at the sight. But, again, he kept his feelings down.

“I… We have something to put on those scars that will help them heal. That is if you would like…”

His voice was unsteady and Wooyoung chanced a glance over at him. He could see him holding back, could see it in his eyes. 

"You don't have to feel bad for me. I'm okay, see?"

"It's... It's not that, I just... I just wanna protect you at all costs even more now." Seonghwa let out a wet laugh, taking a deep breath to keep tears back. "You know, Hongjoong really is a healer of sorts. He saved me too. Although my conditions were nowhere near as bad as yours..."

Wooyoung's tail flickered in interest.

"Saved you how?"

"He saved me from myself. Before we started dating — no, before we met — I was in a bad place. My family, god I haven't spoken to him in years... They never accepted me for being bisexual, so they kicked me out of the house. I stayed with my girlfriend at the time while I tried to find my way." 

Seonghwa stood, walking to his bedside drawer to grab ointment to coat his bruises. 

"Why do you just have that by your bed—"

"Don't worry about that. Anyway, I was staying with my girlfriend and she wasn't... the best, you know? She made me feel lesser than I am, she treated me like shit, to say the least. I loved her nonetheless and took it all. I couldn't get myself to leave her, but it became unbearable to be at home. So I started hanging out elsewhere."

Seonghwa helped Wooyoung remove his shirt while he talked and began carefully tending to each individual bruise. 

"Bars became my favorite place to hang out. I would stay out late drinking to the point where I almost lost control. It just overall wasn't a good time in my life. I wasn't happy; every day, simply existing felt more and more like a chore. That is probably the lowest I have ever felt in my life and I didn't think that there would be any coming up from there. I was drowning in bad thoughts."

Wooyoung could feel the emotion bubbling up in Seonghwa, could feel the pain.

"Hongjoong literally came like a light in my life and helped me get out of that dark place. I started to see him at the bar more often." Seonghwa smiled fondly to himself, hands moving gently over his skin. "He would come just to check up on me and talk to me. He kept me company, made sure I drank some water, made sure I got home okay. Then we started to hang out outside of my dark hours in the bar, and it got to the point where I didn't even need the bar anymore. Or alcohol anymore—not as much, anyway.

“Hongjoong was the one who helped me gain the courage to break up with my girlfriend. He helped pick up the broken pieces and he's kept me together ever since. So yes, he saved me. I appreciate him much more than I could ever say but don't tell him that. His ego is big enough as it is."

"Do you think you were meant to meet him?"

"Of course I do. If someone is up there watching over me, they definitely sent him to me."

Wooyoung nodded, thinking to himself for a moment.

"Hongjoong adores hybrids, you know? For the longest time, he's said that he wanted to adopt one, but I think that he is absolutely enamored by you. If you stay with us, you'll be taken care of, treated well. If not, he's gonna do everything in his power to get you somewhere where he knows that you'll be safe. He has a good heart, and I think he was meant to find you too."

"It's just... After all I've been through, it's a lot to think about, you know? I don't know if I can put myself in a position to trust someone like that again."

Seonghwa hummed and nodded in understanding, pulling away once he was finished to look up at him. 

“I know it’s hard to trust anyone after so many people treated you wrong and let you down. I’m sorry that you had those experiences, but I believe that you will be able to open your heart again. Some day. You’re strong, you’ve already come so far.”

Seonghwa ended with a kind smile and moved to pass back the shirt he was wearing before pausing. 

“Ah, would you like to put on your new pajamas? They’re much softer than these old things.” 

Wooyoung thought for a moment before shaking his head and taking the shirt back from Seonghwa gently.

“I’ll… put those on later. After my shower? Before bed? I’m comfy in these now…”

Seonghwa didn’t push it and just smiled. 

[hellcaster901]

The Wedding Pt 7

Summary: Y/N is getting married in a few months, and its something that she’s been looking forward to for a while. But she runs into an old coworker, one that she just can’t help feel a connection to. Not only is her best friend not helping, but she’s trying to figure out now what she really wants.

Warning(s): None, some explicate language, angst

A/N: I haven’t posted for this series in a WHILE, and I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting, hopefully I’ll get back on posting more for this series! I hope you guys enjoy, and I hope you guys are all still staying safe and healthy in this crazy time. Enjoy!

The Wedding Masterlist

-

It was the 23rd of December as we walked through the Mall. Bags of last minute Christmas shopping in Adam’s hand as we went from store to store, trying to find things both our mothers would like.

“What about this?” He sighed, pointing to a small jewelry holder in the shape of a deer, the display holding earrings and necklaces from the large antlers. “I know they both wear those bulky necklaces, I’m sure it can hold one or two.” He joked with a smile. I rolled my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Why not. I think they’ll both like it. We’ll get one white one and one black one.” I smiled back at him, grabbing one box from the top of the table and bending down to grab the one hiding underneath. As I tried standing up one of the boxes slipped from under my arm, tumbling a couple feet away from me. “Damn it.” I groaned, resting the one box on my hip, ready to reach for it before I saw two large slender hands grab at the box. “Oh, thank you.” I sigh, standing up straight trying to fix my shirt. “Damn boxes are too bulky to carry them both.” I smiled, looking up at the man. The smile I was wearing soon faded as a pair of hazel eyes stared back at me from behind a pair of black glasses. Everything from that night I spent with him, to the morning I was sore came rushing back to me. I simply ignored his texts and calls after seeing him with that ‘woman’ in the restaurant, which soon became non-existent as time went on. I figured he moved on, forgetting about me, but from the look in his eyes, I knew he was thinking back on every time we had together, every touch, every kiss, every moment.

“Should probably get a cart or something.” He said with a tight smile, glancing at Adam. I watched speechless as Adam shifted the large bags to one hand, giving a quick thank you to Negan as he took the box. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.” Adam looked between us, a confused look playing over his face.

“You guys know each other?”

“Yeah.” I coughed, trying to keep a tighter hold on the box as my palms began to sweat. “I used to substitute at the High school he works at.” I explained, not even taking my eyes off of Negan’s. “Adam, this is Negan.” I forced a smile, watching as Negan finally took his eyes off me, landing them on Adam. He smiled at Adam, shaking his hand, but a different look was in his eyes as he stared down at him. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” Adam smiled, not even picking up on the heated tension in the air between us. 

“Likewise.” Negan forced, slipping his hand from his grip. He looked back at me, an unwavering look of disbelief in his eyes.

“I should probably go check out.” Adam smiled, slipping the bags by my feet, grabbing the other box from my hand. “Catch up and we can meet back up at the front.” He smiled, turning before I could even get a word in. Even though this mall was jam packed with sweaty, panicked people, it still felt that me and Negan were the only people in this whole building. Negan stared at me for a few seconds, trying to take in my appearance, trying to think of something to say. Hopefully, at least I knew I was trying to think of something to say.

It’s been weeks since we talked, since I stopped replying to him. And in those weeks he was all I could think about, wondering if what I did was the right call, or wondering if it was something I was going to regret for the rest of my life.

“You look good.” I smiled, mentally kicking myself.

“You do too.” He smiled back, slipping his hands into his pockets. Oh to feel those hands back on my- No! “How have you been?” We both knew the conversation was tough, and uncomfortable, but there was either facing this like adults or going our separate ways and always wondering.

“I’ve been great!” I smiled, fidgeting with my hands. “Christmas shopping, you know how it is.” I tried. I really tried to not make this awkward. And again, a silence washed over us. The silence was so loud, I barely could recognize everything that was going on around us.

“How come you never texted back?” There we go. I knew it. I knew we were going to do this. I sighed.

“Are we really going to do this here?” I answered harshly, “In the mall, while my fiancé is over there buying Christmas presents?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. “Because I just didn’t.” I lied, grabbing the bags by my feet. “There’s no other reason than I just didn’t.” I didn’t want to get into it, not in the middle of the mall, especially not when Adam was only a few feet away. “Have a great Christmas, Negan.” Before I could even walk around him he wrapped an arm around my upper arm, stopping me in my tracks.

“I don’t believe that for a damn second, sweetheart.” He remarked, looking down at me. I almost fainted feeling his hand on me again, even if it was through layers of clothes, it was still enough to make me want to drop to my knees and beg him to take me there and then. Just the single touch had all those wonderful memories come rushing back. “I deserve to know why.”

“I picked him over you.” I bit back, lying through my teeth, tugging my arm from his grip, trying not to make a scene. “That’s it.” Again, he grabbed my arm, tugging me close, ducking his head down, his mouth brushing against my ear. My breathing stopped, my eyes frantically searching for Adam, finding his big head in line, looking down at his phone as he waited to pay. 

“Stop lying to me. We both know you enjoyed this cock way too much to pick him over me.” I gasped, keeping my eyes on Adam. “Does he make you cum the way I did?” He questioned me, his breath fanning over my neck, goosebumps rising on my skin. “Does he make you squirm just like I did from a single stroke of this cock.” 

“Stop it.” I whispered, my own body betraying me as I squeezed my thighs. It’d be lying if I said I didn’t think of Negan when I touched myself or even when I was with Adam. Negan was always on my mind. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me it was fucking over?” He whispered harshly, both of us forgetting we were in a public setting with our intimate position. “Instead of ignoring my texts, my calls, making me think I did something wrong.” The instant of what happened at that damn Qdoba popped in my mind, and it was like Negan was some damn mind reader as he read it all over my face. “Was it because you saw me with Margot?” I almost slapped myself for thinking that he wasn’t going to figure it out. I stayed silent, ripping my arm from his grasp again, taking a step away from him. My silence was all that he needed as he smiled, shaking his head. “You were jealous.” He chuckled, looking down at me with that amused gaze. 

“No I wasn’t, okay?” I snapped lying through my teeth. Both of us stared at one another, anger and confusion in our eyes as we tried to figure out what was going on. “It was too much,” I started, lowering my voice, “I… started to get in my own head, making things more complicated than they needed to be.” It wasn’t an exact lie.

“Why didn’t you say anything? We could’ve fucking talked about-”

“I couldn’t tell you I started catching feelings.” I spat, realizing the second it came out of my mouth what I said. I stared up at him wide eyed, expecting him to say something, but nothing left his mouth. “I need to go.” I rushed, turning on my heels, practically running away. I heard him shout my name, but I refuse to make a fool of myself again. 

On the ride home I was silent, giving Adam one word answers to whatever questions he had. It seemed like it didn’t bother him at all, if anything, he seemed content that I wasn’t talking. Blaring the radio, singing along, almost acting like I wasn’t there. I pulled my phone out, tapping on Mary’s name and began typing.

‘I saw him.’

It was all I said as I sent it, seeing the small ‘delivered’ underneath the message turn to ‘read’.

‘Negan???’ 

I took a deep breath, typing out the message.

‘Adam met him. And it was… a lot. I’ll call you when I get a chance.’ 

I shoved the phone back in my purse. What happened was something I was going to think about for a while. The way he grabbed me, whispered in my ear, the way he wasn’t scared to confront me about ghosting him. It all made me extremely horny. I clenched my thighs together, my own body betraying me as I tried to concentrate on the passing by surroundings rather than what it felt like when Negan fucked the living hell out of me. 

When we got back to the apartments, I gathered everything we bought, dragging them up to the bedroom and shutting the door. Adam wasn’t one for wrapping and when he did it looked like it was run over multiple times. I knew I had enough time to be by myself, enough time for Adam to leave me alone.

I quickly called Mary, gathering the wrapping paper, scissors and tape and sitting on the floor.

“What happened?” Mary answered. I groaned loudly, cutting a large sheet of wrapping paper.

“What happened? I exaggerated, angrily wrapping the boxes. “Was I dropped a fucking box and he was there and helped me picked it up and then I had to introduce Adam to him cause Negan had to open his mouth and say some shit about how it was good to see me.” I huffed, all those emotions I had from weeks ago coming back. Wondering if this really was what I wanted with Adam or if this sex crazed life I had with Negan was what I wanted.

“What happened after that?” Mary pushed, waiting for the new details.

“After that Adam left to go pay and I was stuck there with Negan and he basically confronted me about not answering his calls or texts.”

“No he didn’t!” Mary gasped.

“He did!” I yelled, lowering my voice when I realized how loud I was becoming. I grabbed the tap, sticking some pieces on my arm as I began folding the wrapping paper. “He asked me why I didn’t text him back and he fucking figured out it was because of what happened at fucking Qdoba.” I rambled on.

“How in God’s name did he figure that out?” I could hear how puzzled she was. 

“I don’t know. He said he deserved to know why I stopped and then he just sort of… figured it out.” I shrugged, tapping down the wrapping paper. “He then asked if Adam is satisfying me like he did.”

“Stop it!” Mary exclaimed. “He did not say that!”

“He did!” I laughed, Mary’s reaction putting a smile on my face. “And if it wasn’t for all the bags and shit we had from shopping I would’ve jumped him right there.” It was true, I was willing to risk it for him before and honestly, I still am willing to risk it. “But then…” A wave of embarrassment washed over me, remembering what I said to him about catching feelings.

“But what?”

“I basically told him I had feelings for him.” I mumbled. The line was silent, Mary processing my words almost the same way Negan did.

“You what!?” She yelled. 

“I know!” I yelled back, dropping the barely wrapped gift, not feeling like wrapping anymore. “It came out and it felt like so much was going on and I know this sounds cheesy but him standing there felt like we were the only ones in the whole mall and it was so overwhelming.” A single ‘awe’ was all I got from Mary as I rambled on. “This only made me more confused I really don’t know-” My phone buzzed against the ground, cutting me off. “Did you send me something?” I asked Mary.

“Nope.” I grabbed the phone, a gasp leaving my mouth. 

“He texted me.”

“Stop it right now.” Mary yelled. I swiped on his name, opening the messages, a chill running up my back. “What does it say?” 

“‘At 9, meet me at the bar where it all started.’” I read out loud. It was like time stopped as we both processed what the text could mean. “Mary, what the hell.” I gasped.

“You better get ready.”

“Mary! It’s almost Christmas! We can’t go out the day before Christmas Eve and get hammered!” I protested, trying to convince myself to not go out when every atom in my body was telling me to go.

“I’m coming over.” She yelled, I heard her shuffling on her end. “And we’re going out.” I couldn’t even protest before she hung up on me.

“You’re going out?” I jumped at the sudden voice, the phone slipping from my hands. Adam stared at me from the doorway, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. 

“What?” I asked, suddenly very sweaty. 

“You’re going out.” He stated, crossing the threshold, “With Mary?” I still stared up at him dumbfound, the words not processing the way they should be. 

“Oh.” I said after a few moments, “Oh, I don’t know.” I shrugged, grabbing the half wrapped gift and finishing it. “She wants to but it’s the day before Christmas Eve and I don’t exactly want to be hung over tomorrow.”

“I think you should go.” He must’ve seen the surprise on my face. He chuckled, crouching down next to me. I felt a twinge of guilt as he pushed some hairs back from my face, tucking them behind my ear. “Have some fun, but not too much fun, ya know?” He smiled. Adam’s a good man, someone who loves me with all his heart, and it pained me to know that I’d rather be with Negan than here with a man I’m supposed to be loving. 

“Really?” I asked, searching his eyes for any sign of discouragement. 

“Of course, we’ll wrap everything tomorrow. We don’t have to be anywhere until the evening. We have the time.” I smiled, nodding at him. The fact that he was okay with letting me go out, the day before a big holiday, just shows I’m making the wrong decision. “Have fun.” He smiled, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “Gives me time to wrap your presents.” He chuckled against my skin. I smiled up at him, a twinge of pain shooting through my heart. “Get dressed.” He sighed, standing up and turning towards the door. “I’m sure Mary is in the parking lot already.” He joked.

I awkwardly fixed pulled at my shirt as Mary sat there, looking me over for a moment, a leg crossed over the other, her foot swaying. “I know you’re just trying to waste time.” She smirked, chuckling at the side eye I gave her. I watched as she pulled out her phone, checking the time. “8 o’clock.” She smiled, clicking her tongue. I rolled my eyes, turning back towards the mirror, wiping at the black fuzzies that lightly covered the top of my jeans. “Are you nervous?” She asked. I glanced over at her, expecting to see her smiling up at me, that cocky grin of hers, but I saw how serious she was, looking at me and really wanting to know.

“Yes.” I admitted, clasping my hands together. “But don’t be so loud.” I mumbled, glancing at the door. Hoping to god Adam doesn’t hear. Mary noticed my skittishness, shutting her mouth. “How do I look?” I mumbled, waving to my outfit. The simple skinny jeans with a band shirt was something easy right? Not too seductive? 

“You look great.” Mary smiled, pushing herself from my bed. “Lets go break some hearts.” She smiled. 

--

I sat there in the booth, across from Mary as she giggled at something some jerk said to her. He was the average ‘Chad’, the kind that you’d cover your drink at a frat party, that kind of Chad. I chewed on the straw, watching as Mary twisted a strand of hair around her finger, obviously flirting with the man. “I’m going to get myself a drink.” He pointed, smiling at her. She nodded, giving him a flirty smile. She stared at him, that giddy smile on her face, looking at me. That wide smile faded as she saw my face.

“Are you really flirting with this man?” I judged, raising an eyebrow at her. She shook her head, giggling lightly, swirling her straw around the drink. “You better be careful about the drinks he gives you.” You raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes, taking a sip.

“Good thing I’m not taking any drinks from him.” She snipped back, sticking her tongue out. I watched as her eyes flicked down to my phone, then back to me. “I’m surprised you haven’t checked your phone, it’s been like… a minute.” I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone and dragging it to my lap.

“Shut up.” I chuckled, turning my phone and checking.

8:50 p.m. 

Mary wasn’t lying when she said I kept checking my phone. Ever since we got to the bar, about 30 minutes ago, I kept checking the time, basically every 3 minutes.

“Look, if he doesn’t show up then you get your answer.” Mary sighed, taking another sip of her drink. I sighed as well, swirling my straw in my cup. “What answer were you expecting?” You looked up at her, all the flirtatious behavior and jokes aside. What am I expecting? What was I expecting from meeting Negan here?

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, Mary rolled her eyes, leaning back against the seats of the booth.

“We both know that’s a damn lie.” She pointed at me, taking me by surprise at the tone of her voice. “Now I’m going to ask you again.” She exclaimed, slapping a hand down on the table. “And you better go with what your heart says.” As far as pep talks went, she kinda knew what she was doing. “What do you want with Negan?”

Go with your heart. Go with your heart.

“I want something more.” I spoke allowed. Surprising both of us at what I said. A smile spread on Mary’s face at my confession. Finally getting that off my chest was a weight off my shoulders. “But it’s so… complicated.” Once it started, it kept coming out. Everything that’s been on my mind since I started to feel these things for Negan. “I can’t just break a almost 3 year relationship because of good sex.” I argued, shaking my head. “That’s ridiculous.” 

We both knew it was more than good sex.

“What’s ridiculous would be you staying in the almost 3 year relationship when you had feelings for another man.” She argued back. “Obviously, what you have with Adam isn’t as healthy or strong as you think it is.” She shrugged, “If it was, Negan wouldn’t have gotten through.” 

“You’re right.” I sighed, leaning back against the booth. Mary gave you a saddened look, glancing over at the bar, looking for her man. You watched as her whole demeanor changed, her back straightening, eyes wide glancing at me. “What?” I scoffed, thinking the ‘Chad’ she was talking to was hitting on another girl. You looked over, chills running down your back as you noticed the man standing there. 

“Does he ever have a bad day?” Mary sighed, jaw dropped at the man. The nerves that were gone for those few minutes were back, seeing the tall, lean man leaning against the bar, ordering a drink. 

 “I don’t think so.” I breathed, watching as he turned around, scanning the bar. Looking for me. My chest tightened, my stomach doing flips as I saw Negan standing there. I ducked my head, my hair covering my face like a certain, staring down at my drink. “I can’t do this.” I whispered, wide eyed. I looked up at Mary, strands of hair covering my view. “I can’t do this.” Was I being dramatic? Probably. Did I think that I might let him fuck me silly if we made eye contact? Most likely. Was I going to try to sneak out with Mary and act like this never happened? We’ll see. 

“What do you mean? We’re here, you might as well talk to him.” Mary hissed, glancing back and forth between Negan and me. “I’m waving.”

“Mary don’t, I-” I tried reaching for her hand but I was too late as she lifted it, smiling over at Negan, her small hand waving.

“He’s on his way.” She smiled, pushing herself from the booth, grabbing her drink. “Hello, Mr. Negan.” She smiled, I could hear the flirtatious tone in her voice. 

“Hey there, Mary.” He smiled, I pushed back some hair, looking up at Negan with wide eyes. Mary winked at him, sending a flirty wave before walking over to the ‘Chad’ of the bar. I sat there awkwardly, watching as Negan looked down at me, raising his eyebrows in acknowledgment. “Do you need another drink?” He pointed to my half empty cup. I shook my head, messing with the thin black straw nervously. 

“You can sit.” I smiled, pointing across from me. “I think Mary’s going to be busy with pretty boy over there.’ Negan glanced back, his shoulders raising slightly as he laughed at said pretty boy. He turned back, sliding into the seat across from me. I tried to keep my cool, I tried to not to mess with my hands, or rub them over my thighs to collect the sweat that started to build  up on them. There was a moment of each trying to let each other gather their thoughts, mostly it was me sitting there looking at him like a baby animal that was just rescued from the side of the road. “I’m sorry about earlier today.” I spoke up, but he only lifted a hand, shaking his head. 

This is it. He’s gonna tell me to actually get lost. This is my answer. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He responded, basically staring into my soul. I could see how much stress this put on him, the bags under his eyes were heavier, the way his hair was disheveled but in a sexy way. This was messing him up just like it did to me. I was just better at hiding it.

“You know why.” I sighed, looking over at Mary, who was giggling at something ‘Chad’ had said, lightly placing a hand on his chest, the image alone reminded me of when that ‘woman’ did the same to Negan, sending a sharp pinch to my heart. “I’m engaged.” I shrugged.

“Bullshit.” I looked back at him, shocked at what he said.

“What?”

“Bullshit.” He repeated, leaning forward on the table. I could see the anger in his face, the way he clenched his jaw, the fire in his eyes. It made me clench my thighs. “That never stopped you.” He bit back, licking his bottom lip. My eyes were drawn to them, wanting to feel them all over my body once again. “You developed feelings.” He stated, loud and clear. In all honesty, Negan wasn’t someone I knew very well, I knew he was good in bed, that he made me feel like the only woman in the world, but I knew he meant everything he said, anyone could see it in his eyes. 

“So what if I did?” I shrugged, messing with the straw again. “That doesn’t-”

“Leave him.” My eyes shot up to him, wondering if what I heard was what he really said.

“What?”

“Leave him.” He said again, reaching over the table, grabbing my hand. I tried to ignore the warmth his hands gave me, the way electricity shot up my arm. He must’ve seen my not pulling my hand away was a good sign as he smiled softly at me, leaning forward some more. “It’s obvious that what you and Adam have isn’t strong.” Any sane person would’ve taken their hand away from him, slapped him and left the bar, but I don’t think I was a sane person. “Why be stuck in a loveless marriage if there’s someone better.” God, it was like him and Mary rehearsed with each other, trying to convince me to leave Adam. “Leave him.” He repeated. 

I was speechless, staring at Negan with parted lips, trying to process everything that he was saying, trying to process what Mary told me before, trying to process that it was the day before fucking Christmas Eve and this really shouldn’t be happening now. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what anything was telling me. My gut was telling me that I was going to be sick soon, my mind was telling me that going back home and being with Adam was the right choice, but my heart… my heart said stay where you are. 

“Negan I-”

“Y/N?” It was like my world was crashing on me at this moment. That God thought, ‘lets fuck her up’ and thats exactly what he did. It was like my life was in slow motion, the way I turned to see who said my name, the way everything processed in my head. It was so… slow.

“Adam.” I gasped lightly, pulling my hand from Negan’s quickly, glancing over at Mary who was talking to ‘Chad’ before she glanced over, seeing the situation I was in. “What… what are you doing here?” I nervously smiled, sliding from the booth. I watched as Adam looked over at Negan, his eyes narrowed, scanning him up and down. 

“I thought I’d come and join you guys.” He mumbled, brows knit together, still staring at Negan. “What’s going on here?” I glanced at Negan, an arm over the back of the booth, his hand rubbing at his jaw, looking down at his cup before me. “Y/N.” He snapped. I jumped, turning back to him, his eyes on me now. He knew. His eyes staring at me intensely, pursed lips, waiting for my response. I knew that lying was only going to make things worse, and I knew that telling him what was really going on was going to end things with us. 

“I can explain.” I whispered. But that was all the answer Adam needed. 

“Are you serious?” He whispered back, staring at me with anger, confusion, and rage. “You’ve been seeing him?” He pointed to Negan, not taking his eyes off me. I opened my mouth to say something, to say anything, but nothing came out. I couldn’t find the words. But that was enough for Adam. “I want you out by tonight.” He spit. It was like my whole body just went numb, my jaw dropped, stuttered on what to say.

“Let’s talk about this.” I pleaded, reaching for his hand. I flinched when he pulled back from me, scoffing at the movement. “It meant nothing, Adam.” I whispered. Negan scoffed, sliding from the booth. “Don’t.” I pointed, at him, tears ready to spill from my eyes. 

“No,” Adam started, staring up at Negan. “Let him say what he wants to say.” He snarled. I began noticing the amount of people watching, the people at the bar or at the booths turned and looking our way. Mary was speechless as she watched, not sure who to grab and who to pull away. It was like we were both helpless, and all I wanted was to die right at this moment. If an asteroid was to hit Earth at this exact moment, it would do me the favor of not going through this sort of pain. 

“Can we talk about this outside?” I whispered to Adam, stepping in between the two men and their staring contest. “I don’t want this to be public.” I stated. 

“No.” Adam chuckled darkly, “Let Negan say what he wants to say.” He pointed, looking back and forth between me and him. 

“Don’t Negan.” I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the cocky smirk on his face. “You’ll only make things worse.” 

“You know,” Negan started, shoving his hands into his pockets, that cocky smile still on his face. “If you just pleased her, she wouldn’t have come running to me.” A few ‘oooh’ rung through the bar, people hearing and enjoying the drama. 

“Stop.” I barked, pointing at Negan. “This doesn’t need to happen here of all fucking places.” I snapped, turning back to Adam. He was fuming at this point, face red, fist clenched at his side. “We can talk about this at home, we can fix this.” I panicked, reaching down and grabbing his closed fists. 

“Don’t.” Adam boomed, ripping his hands from mine, stepping back. “You slept with him.” He stated, “How long?” I wrangled my hands together, nervously bending and twisting the digits, looking around the bar. The people were loving this, seeing the drama, I was surprised that the manager wasn’t out here telling us to take it outside, if anything he was probably loving this too. 

“We can do this at-”

“How long?” He shouted, making me jump. 

“Adam,” Mary butted in, placing a hand on Adam’s arm. “You need to take this-”

“Stop!” Adam shouted, swinging his arm. Mary made a soft ‘hmph’ as Adam hit her chest, shoving her backwards, she stumbled back, landing on one of the tables and spilling the drinks there. 

“Adam!” exclaimed, pushing past Adam, reaching for Mary. She groaned as she looked down at her pants, beer spilt all over them.

“That’s it.” I heard Negan mumble. I didn’t even care to see what he did, or what was going on as I helped Mary.

“You fucking kidding me, I just bought these.” She whined, looking up at me. “It looks like I pissed myself.”

“Are you okay?” I asked, looking passed her and seeing the manager of the bar heading our way. 

“Besides me looking like I pissed myself?” She huffed, staring down at her beer soaked crotch, “I’m fine.” She looked up, her face scrunching up. “Where did they go?” I looked over my shoulder, noticing the two men gone.

“Oh no.” I whispered. “Come on.” I grabbed her arm, tugged her from the table, sending a small wave and a sorry towards the manager as we hurried through the crowd of people. All I could think of was what was going on with the two of them. If Negan was punching the shit out of Adam or if Adam was talking shit to Negan. I shoved past the people, shoving the door opening and heard Adam yelling.

“You think you’re some big man fucking someone else’s fucking fiance huh?” I could see Adam was fuming, a distance away from Negan, as he only stood there, trying to keep his cool.

“Adam, stop.” I hissed, coming up. Negan looked over at me, hands still in his pocket. He acted calm, but I could see this was stressing him out just like it was to me. “We need to go home.” I calmly insisted.

“Home?” He laughed, weaving his hands into his brown hair, resting them at the back of his head. “You think you’re going to be coming back with me?” The anger and rage was thickly laced in his voice, sending chills down my back and brought tears back to my eyes. 

“Adam, please.” I whimpered, hesitantly reaching out to him, he only pulled away, sending daggers my way. “Let’s talk this out. I promise we can-”

“What? Fix it?” He chuckled darkly, shaking his head. “How long has this been going on?” He pointed between me and Negan, watching my every move. This was like a fucking bandaid. 

 “It’s been less than a month.” I admitted, watching his face fall. In such a short amount of time, things were a mess. Has it really only been that short of time? 

“Is that where you were? That night you said you were at Mary’s?” He asked, clenching his jaw. 

“Yes.” I admitted, tears spilling. How did he even know about that? I could see the hurt and the pain in his face, staring at me like I was a stranger to him. “But I promise you I ended things, we were just here to talk things out.” He rolled his eyes, nostrils flaring as he looked at Negan. He put his hands on his hips, staring at me then back at Negan, I could see that he was thinking, looking at the two of us as he was trying to think of something, or anything to say. “Let’s just go home and talk this out, I’ll tell you everything.” I whispered, taking a step towards him almost like he was some wild animal that I didn’t want flipping out. And honestly, that’s how I felt. I didn’t know how Adam was going to react to things, I didn’t know what was really gonna happen, as of now, I felt like all I wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry for days. That’s it.

“No.” He scoffed, shaking his head, “For a month, you were with him.” He pointed. “Planning our wedding, telling me that you were so excited to marry me-” I choked back a sob, all the guilt, and remorse flooding to me as he spoke. I knew what I did was wrong, we all did, Mary did, and Negan did too. This wasn’t something that could be fixed right away. “And you’re expecting me to just let you explain yourself? Like it’s going to make everything better?”

“Adam,” I cried, reaching for him, but he took another step back, keeping his distance from me, almost like he couldn’t even be in the same area as me. “Please, let me fix this.” He chuckled coldly at my words. 

“Pack your shit.” He mumbled, looking at me, eyes filling with tears. I fucked up. “Pack your shit and you’re out.” I couldn’t even get a word in before he turned around, leaving me in the parking lot.

Tag List:

@xojdm-luv  @startwiththeridingcrop @courtneynh @batmanbatmanbatmanbatmans-bitch @lilucifergrl @simam12 @skullag @emmalbg @marihernanadez @cherry-icetea @jamiekingofmen​ @gamingaquarius​ @rosey1981​ @jjwriter23 @negan-morningstar @jnjlover66​ @tomcavanaghwellsblog 

[farmhandler]

A Little Extra

Rating: T

Relationship: Shiro/Sendak

Additional Tags: Mating Cycles/In Heat, Body Image, chubby!Shiro, implied Mpreg

Chapter: 1/1 | WC 6.9K~

Read on AO3

Summary: It wasn’t as if Shiro was blind to the weight that he’d gained when he’d been pregnant. That was par for the course, and in the months that followed he’d been focused on just getting through each day.

But now, staring at himself in a shirt that was a few sizes too small, it was like being given a wake-up call.

A/N: Commission for @saltyhedgeh0g aka the lovely lovely Shannon, who asked for Bound-verse Shiro's first heat post-baby, where he's self conscious about his figure. Sendak still wants to hit it (duh).

With everything that was going on in his life, Shiro had nearly forgotten all about his old clothes.

The twins demanded his constant attention, and he hadn’t gotten rid of his paternal wear until a few months in, when he’d started being considered for public appearances and figured wearing clothes that were clearly made for someone with a large middle was excessive, no matter how comfortable they were.

He now had a plethora of new clothing in his wardrobe, both from the castle’s stores and items Shiro had purchased at their favorite space mall.

He happened upon the shirt while cleaning his room. The twins’ toys were littered about his floor, alongside a few bottles he had forgotten to clean and pack up. Some of his clothes were packed in the corner, lying forgotten.

The room was basically a pigsty, but he hadn’t had the time when every day he was kept busy.

Shiro picked up Sendak’s underwear that had gotten caught in the bedsheets and held it up for inspection, already able to tell from the scent that it had been worn at least once. Sendak’s scent was heavier than a human’s, particularly in his extremities.

After a moment of hesitation, Shiro shoved the fabric against his nose, inhaling the scent of his mate. He felt his shoulders relax, tensing leaking out of him. Sendak had been away the last few weeks on a cluster of Blade missions, but as of this afternoon they were both going to be at the castle. Since Shiro’s first heat was coming up very soon, Sendak had been put off Blade missions indefinitely until it was over.

Plus, having him around meant Shiro could actually get something done. He was currently in charge of watching the twins, entertaining them in the other room while Shiro cleaned.

Shiro started shoving all their dirty laundry in the basket when he noticed that a clean shirt had was mixed in with the dirty ones. Shiro lifted it up into the light, a smile forming on his face at the memories that it brought forth.

It was the one that had belonged to Keith’s father, and it had lasted Shiro for several years before he’d gotten knocked up by his then-estranged mate. He didn’t think too deeply about how small it seemed compared to his other clothes until he was struggling to pulling it down over his shoulders.

Did it shrink? he wondered, smoothing his hands down over his front. It fit, but only just, and Shiro was already itching to take it off.

He looked around for something reflective to use. There wasn’t a mirror in his room, and the one in the bathroom wasn’t full-length, but Shiro walked in anyway, stepping back to get as much of himself in view as possible.

What he saw made his heart thump uncomfortably in his chest.

It wasn’t as if Shiro was blind to the weight that he’d gained when he’d been pregnant. That was par for the course, and in the months that followed he’d been focused on just getting through each day. He was well acquainted with his own stretch marks and a little extra bulk, but he still fit in his suit, so he hadn’t given it much thought.

But now, staring at himself in a shirt that was a few sizes too small, it was like being given a wakeup call.

Shiro prodded the flesh gathered around his waist. His abs had been replaced with a soft stomach and a layer of fat that he didn’t remember being there before, and his chest was even softer, his nipples large and poking through his shirt from consistent breastfeeding.

Whereas he’d once had a rigorous training routine and a daily workout, his time was now occupied by taking care of his kids and saving the universe, which didn’t leave him with much free time.

Wearing a shirt that didn’t fit him made it all the more obvious how far he’d let himself go.

He hurried to take it off, hastily dropping the shirt onto the floor.

There was a flash of concerned curiosity from across the bond. Shiro hadn’t even thought to close it off, and he was hesitant to do so now, lest he raise Sendak’s suspicions, so he didn’t bother taking the bait, instead walking back into the bedroom to finish cleaning.

The laundry basket he set near the door to be taken out, and the bottles and toys he collected to bring to Sendak next door.

He was just about to knock when it slid open and Sendak filled his line of view, both twins sitting in each arm.

“Oh, hi!” Shiro smiled up at him, moving to take Ayame, the first to start reaching for him, exchanging her with the bag full of things he’d collected from their room.

“Dadda!” she cried, waving her hands lazily at him. She looked exhausted. Her eyes were drooping.

“Hi, honey.” Shiro nuzzled her cheek with his nose. She hiccupped, then swayed. Shiro encouraged her to lean her head against his chest. He addressed Sendak, “Did you just feed them?”

“I’ve been wearing them out,” Sendak clarified. “I’m hoping they will be too tired to cause a fuss during naptime.”

“Good luck with that.” Shiro shifted Ayame so she was resting more comfortably, nestled in the crook of his arm. “They’ll never stop being trouble.”

“Be that as it may, I was hoping to spend some time with you. Alone.”

Sendak’s words carried a heat that Shiro would be a fool not to recognize. Since he’d gotten back, Sendak had been especially touchy.

Shiro’s mind flashed to the scene in the bathroom as Sendak brushed his palm up the underside of his arm, right over the fat.

“I think I’m gonna get some food,” Shiro said, stepping away. “I’ve also got to wash these, and I can do that in the kitchen.”

He pretended not to notice the slight downturn of Sendak’s mouth as he put Ayame in her crib. She was dozing, so after tucking her in, she thankfully went straight to sleep.

“I will come with you,” Sendak said, still holding the very active Ellar.

“I’ll be back soon,” Shiro assured him. “You keep wearing her out and then I’ll meet you later. Okay?”

Sendak nodded without reply, still frowning, and Shiro left, heading for the kitchens.

He really was hungry, so on arrival he piled a plate full of flavored goo and set it down on the counter across from the kitchen sinks, munching on it while he worked. They used sonic sinks and no water was involved, so it didn’t take Shiro long to finish cleaning the bottles and a few of the plastic toys that were dirty.

Sendak didn’t speak with him through the bond, which Shiro was grateful for. They’d gotten adept at reading each other’s moods, and Shiro didn’t feel up to trying to explain himself.

It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with carrying a little extra weight. Hunk was a larger man, who ate just the same as the rest of them and did the same drills. He wasn’t ashamed of his size, and Shiro didn’t expect him to be.

He glanced down at his stomach, slightly distended in its relaxed state. He sucked it in, tensing the muscles, and for a moment he could imagine the layers of fat falling away, revealing the hard muscles he remembered lying underneath.

When he relaxed his stomach again, it seemed to bulge out even more obscenely.

“There you are.”

Shiro’s shoulders tensed, but he forced them down when he felt Sendak’s knuckles brush the back of his neck. He dragged his wrist over Shiro’s scent gland, then turned him around for a kiss.

“I’ve hardly seen you since I returned,” Sendak said, tilting his chin up. “Are you certain you’re not avoiding me?”

Cleverly disguised as it was, the question was somewhat genuine. Sendak didn’t like to let matters lie when Shiro was distressed in any way, and as close to his heat as he was, pumping out more pheromones in preparation, Sendak could probably sense his unease.

“No! Of course not. I’m just…” He shrugged, leaning in when Sendak drew him close. “It’s been a while. And I know that the implant is supposed to work as birth control, but I’m still nervous. I don’t want another baby.”

“No?” With one hand, Sendak cupped Shiro’s cheek, and with the other, he groped at his ass, squeezing it. Shiro tried to pull away, thinking about what he’d seen in the mirror, but Sendak held him still, mouthing hungrily at his throat.

Shiro held back a whimper as his teeth brushed the scent gland. He was especially sensitive during pre-heat.

“Last I recall, you were very eager to have me breed you,” he murmured, pulling Shiro flush and aligning their hips. Sendak was still as brawny and strong as he’d ever been; he hadn’t borne the weight of two galra children on his hips, and sometimes Shiro resented him for that. Just a little.

Like now, when he splayed his hands across his strong chest, muscular pecs outlined by his thin shirt, and saw the clear contrast between their bodies. Sendak was all hard lines and Shiro—Shiro was soft and squishy.

What little arousal that had been building inside Shiro quickly faded. If Sendak noticed—which he certainly did—he didn’t say anything about it. He pressed a soft kiss to Shiro’s jaw.

“Yeah, that’s not happening again.” Shiro pushed at his chest. “I’m on birth control, and if I wasn’t, just the thought of any more of those little monsters running around would be birth control enough.”

Sendak’s lips quirked. “They do so love to cause trouble, and they can’t even walk.”

Shiro shuddered at the thought. “I am not looking forward to that.”

“Neither am I.” Sendak gave Shiro’s ass a firm pat. “Which is why we should take this chance to…reacquaint ourselves.”

‘Reacquainting’ turned out to mean cuddling in bed. Sendak crowded Shiro against the wall scented him thoroughly, rubbing and kissing every inch of skin that he could reach. Shiro’s thoughts earlier left him feeling strangely self-conscious the whole time, but if anything, it spurred Sendak to double his efforts, scenting Shiro until his skin felt rubbed raw.

“There are other ways to get your scent on me, you know,” Shiro gasped into his mouth, rutting lazily over Sendak’s thick thigh.

“I like you like this.” Sendak cupped his cheeks, brushing their noses together, “in my arms and at my mercy. And I will have you like this, until you decide to tell me what is running through your mind.”

Shiro tried not to stiffen too obviously. Based on Sendak’s knowing look, he didn’t exactly succeed.

“Something is bothering you,” Sendak said conversationally, like he was talking about something entirely unrelated. “I would have you tell me, if you are willing to share.”

A long time ago, Sendak might have tried to force it out of him. He would have shoved and pushed and pulled until Shiro admitted to what he was feeling. And sure, it had worked then, and sometimes it might have been what he needed. Maybe he needed it now—he didn’t really know—but Shiro appreciated that Sendak was giving him time, rather than attempting to pry the words out of him.

Even if Shiro didn’t know what to do with time, or what to do with himself. The solution should have been simple: work out, get buff, become the muscular giant he used to be. But that would take so much work, and Shiro was exhausted enough from being a parent and running around the universe with Voltron. He was just too tired most days to even manage more than a single training session.

“I just feel—” Like a whale.

“Like a whale?” Sendak repeated, puzzled by the human idiom.

Shiro swallowed thickly. Sendak was in and around him, his scent burrowed into Shiro’s skin, and he felt—disgusting.

Sendak was still waiting for him to provide him with an answer. Shiro didn’t have one.

“I’m gonna go get some water,” he said instead, crawling past Sendak, who didn’t stop him, but watched him go, making no effort to conceal his concern through the bond. Shiro felt it clearly, mingling with the doubt and revulsion rolling inside him.

It would help if Sendak would stop touching him all the time. Every opportunity there was, he would take it, grabbing at him or rubbing his face across his scent gland. It wasn’t that Shiro hated it, per se, but if he would just stop touching him so much, then maybe—

“Shiro?”

Shiro blinked. He realized he’d been staring at Hunk for the last minute, and that Hunk was looking at his cybernetic hand, which was gripping his spoon hard enough to bend the metal.

“Sorry,” Shiro said, setting it down carefully.

“Are you okay? Like, actually okay? Because you know you can tell me anything, and remember the last time you hid something from us? That didn’t turn out so great!”

“It’s nothing like that, Hunk,” Shiro said. He attempted a smile. “I’m just thinking about some things.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Shiro folded his hands in front of him, considering his words carefully. Hunk was an alpha, which meant that he was even more eager to help Shiro in any way possible.

“How do you,” he paused, “feel,” an even longer pause, “about.”

Hunk nodded encouragingly, his gaze open and his concern evident.

“Shiro—”

“It’s silly,” Shiro said. “Forget I said anything. You seem very confident in yourself, and I admire that a lot. I admire a lot of things about you. You’re a good teammate, Hunk.”

Foot, meet Shiro’s mouth.

“Uh, thanks?” Hunk laid his hands on the table, fingers twitching towards like he wanted to reach out and soothe. “But, Shiro—”

“I’ve gotta get going,” Shiro said, abandoning his meal and heading for the door. Sendak would be waking the twins for their morning feeding. “I’ll see you later! Thanks again!”

“You’re welcome!” Hunk called. “Even though I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything!”

Keith had agreed to watch the twins with Lance for the duration of his heat. Shiro wasn’t worried about them being bad babysitters; in all honesty, he was more worried for Keith and Lance than he was the twins.

Shiro stared at the doorway leading out of his room, aching to go find his babies and rub his scent all over them. Pre-heat always left Shiro feeling restless, preferring to do things on his own and in his own way, so he knew he was better off leaving the twins in more-or-less capable hands, especially if he misjudged the timing.

A hand landed on his shoulder.

Sendak, of course, was excited to share their first heat together. They didn’t get a lot of alone time with the twins around, and living in a castle filled with other people meant a quick diversion wasn’t always an option.

Shiro felt excited about the prospect, but with this being his first heat while not pregnant, and what with his body the way it was, excitement had transformed into nervous irritation.

He grit his teeth, trying to withstand the fingers brushing his throat for the thousandth time.

Right before his heat, Shiro usually didn’t like being touched. He felt itchy and uncomfortable and crampy, and he knew that Sendak was aware of this, but he seemed to have forgotten it; he had remained glued to Shiro’s side all morning, and as the hours stretched on, Shiro had had it.

He couldn’t hold back the angry snarl as he whirled on Sendak.

“Will you stop touching me?” Shiro snapped, tossing the pillow he’d been holding at Sendak’s face.

Sendak didn’t react other than to raise his hands in a placating gesture that only further incensed Shiro.

“I apologize,” Sendak began, and he went to say more, but Shiro cut him off.

“Are you done? Do you really want to touch me that much?”

“Yes,” Sendak replied in an instant. He drew close to Shiro’s side again, brushing his palm over Shiro’s heated cheek. “I am aware you don’t like me ‘smothering you’, but your scent has sweetened considerably. You’ll forgive me if I can’t help myself.”

“My scent,” Shiro repeated numbly. Of course it was his scent. Of course. What else did he expect?

“That upsets you,” Sendak observed, puzzled, and Shiro hated, hated that he was having a hard time closing off the bond when he could barely concentrate on the nest he was trying to build.

“No, it doesn’t. I’m not upset. I love that you love the way I smell. You know I do.”

“Shiro, you cannot lie to me,” Sendak began, like he was talking to a small child. “You have been upset for some time, and I have not asked because you seemed particularly averse to it. But you will tell me now, before your heat begins.”

“Oh I will, will I?” Shiro crossed his arms. “Well you’re out of luck, because nothing’s wrong. I feel great! Just great! Amazing!”

Sendak took a decisive step forward and Shiro stepped back, glaring daggers.

Normally, Shiro wasn’t this angry. Normally, he would be a little irritated, but otherwise companionable for the most part. Now, with his feelings multiplied and intensified, he could barely stand to be touched by Sendak even though that was exactly what his body wanted.

Sendak did not attempt to approach him again, reading the signals that Shiro was sending out loud and clear. After a few minutes of waiting—for what, Shiro wasn’t sure—he stepped towards the door with the claim that he was going to get them water bottles and some snack bars.

“Okay,” Shiro said, forcing a calm to his voice that he didn’t feel. His restlessness was only made worse at the thought of Sendak leaving their nest. “You go. I’ll just…sit here.”

After Sendak left, Shiro sat himself at the edge of the bed, running his hands over his knees in repeated motions.

He felt itchy. He wasn’t in heat yet, but it was approaching fast. Shiro glanced at the door.

A part of him wanted to go after Sendak and apologize. It wasn’t wrong for Sendak to want to touch him. They were partners���mates. It was normal behavior.

He glanced down at his stomach, lips curling back.

I need to work out, he thought.

Now?

Sendak’s reply jolted Shiro to his feet. He was always aware of him, even with this distance, but Shiro’s mind was all over the place. He’d somehow completely forgotten about the link.

No. But at some point I need to get into my old routine.

Impossible. You would exhaust yourself.

Shiro didn’t reply. The truth of the statement didn’t sit well with him, and on Sendak’s return, he denied the protein bar that Sendak shoved in his face.

“You haven’t eaten in hours,” he pointed out.

“I’m okay.” He wasn’t that hungry.

Sendak dropped it in his lap. “Eat.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Sendak’s jaw clenched. Shiro stared up at him, ready and raring for a fight, but then Sendak visibly calmed and he sat down next to Shiro without another word about it.

Suspicious, but relieved that he hadn’t taken the bait, Shiro set the bar next to him and started messing around on the pad that Allura had given him. On it were all the baby books and pamphlets, but Shiro had also loaded up a bunch of novels for downtime. Not that he usually had any.

He was so itchy. It felt like his skin was trying to claw its way off his body, and even the soft shirt and silky pants weren’t enough to soothe him. He’d prefer to be naked at this point, but—well.

To top it off, in the middle of reading the first page of one of the novels, his cramps started up.

A part of him had hoped that he wouldn’t have to deal with the cramps that came with heat now that he was on alien birth control, but the moment that he felt his uterus tighten, he knew it was over.

Half an hour later, and aside from four trips to the bathroom while his body emptied itself in preparation, Shiro hadn’t moved. He lay curled up in bed, a whimpering mess. It was miserable, and to make matters worse, Sendak stayed at his side, but he didn’t touch him. It was in respect of Shiro’s self-imposed rules, but the more that he hurt, the more that he was regretting acting like he had.

Shiro lasted another ten minutes before he gave in and crawled over to the other side of the bed, inserting himself in between Sendak’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, relaxing once Sendak wound his arm around him. Just the scent of his alpha made it slightly more bearable. “I’ve been such a jerk today.”

“You’re going into heat for the first time since you birthed the children. You are understandably stressed.”

Sendak stroked his flank and kissing what skin presented itself, layering them atop Shiro’s head and throat intermittently. Shiro melted against his front, rubbing his face into the fur on his chest.

They laid like that for some time, while Shiro breathed through the worst of it, waiting for the awful sensation to dissipate. Sendak kept up the attention, even going so far as to massage the muscles around Shiro’s lower back and his pelvis to alleviate some of the pressure.

It was overall lovely, and Shiro was more than a little grateful. Being surrounded by his scent helped with the worst of it, and there was nothing better than being held in Sendak’s firm embrace.

Despite the cramps, and despite the itchy state of his skin, he’d nearly started to doze, but then his stomach suddenly grew molten hot; for a moment, Shiro felt like he was about to vomit. He swallowed repeatedly, waiting for it to pass, and then the heat dissipated and settled down into his hips.

On his next inhale, the very air he breathed seemed different.

Sendak was wearing a pair of pants—his sleepwear—and nothing else, and Shiro suddenly decided he shouldn’t be wearing anything at all.

“Let’s get this off you,” he murmured, voice going soft and sweet. He smoothed his hands down Sendak’s front, fingers teasing at his waistband. He was so focused on running his hands all over Sendak’s sculpted body that he barely noticed when the gentle warmth began to ramp up.

Sweat broke out over his skin, and he shivered.

Sendak didn’t resist, helping Shiro pull his pants down over his hips, tossing them to the side. His sex was resting soft in his underwear, but after a moment it began to thicken. Shiro made a sound, laying his hand over the massive length. It was warm under his palm, and as he wrapped his hand around it, it gave a distinct twitch.

Shiro licked his lips. “You smell so good right now.”

“I could say the same,” Sendak replied. He tipped Shiro’s head to the side and buried his nose in his throat, his chest expanding into Shiro as he inhaled. “Mm, your scent is so sweet. You smell incredibly fertile.”

Shiro’s breath hitched. “Fertile? I…forgot that you could tell.”

Sendak’s hand landed on his hip, kneading the flesh there.

“Here as well,” he murmured, lowering his mouth to the swell of Shiro’s breast. “A tempting sweetness.”

Shiro’s breath came out in a rush. He pressed his face into Sendak’s chest, hands coming up over his biceps. He was so strong. Sendak had always been strong, but Shiro for some reason couldn’t get it out of his head how strong Sendak really was.

“My big, strong alpha,” he said quietly, digging his fingers into Sendak’s firm pecs. “That’s not all, right?”

“Hm?” Sendak paused where he’d been about to pull off his underwear.

“That’s not the only reason, right? My scent?” Shiro’s thoughts tumbled in different directions, and it took him a second to collect himself. He kept getting distracted by the thick root of Sendak’s cock peeking out from his open waistband. “You don’t think I’m…”

“You know what I think of you,” Sendak said. He sounded completely puzzled. “Is this related to what has been bothering you?”

“I…”

Was there any point in denying it anymore?

“I feel disgusting,” Shiro admitted in a rush. “My hips are big, and my ass is huge, and I’ve got all this baby weight that won’t go away, and I’ve got all these—these ugly stretch marks all over my hips and stomach, and—” He stopped, flushing under Sendak’s scrutiny. “I-I just feel gross. I haven’t been this chunky since I was a teenager.”

Sendak continued to stare at him.

“You are…upset by how you look?” he said slowly, like he was trying to make sense of it.

Shiro shrugged. The doubt in Sendak’s tone only made his embarrassment compound further.

Sendak cocked his head. “I had assumed that you wanted to look like this.”

“What?” Now it was Shiro’s turn to stare. “Why would I want that?”

“But you look—” Sendak paused, as trying to search for words; words that Shiro didn’t want to hear.

“Not nearly as attractive as I used to?”

“Ravishing,” Sendak finished, his tone final.  

“You’re kidding me. This?” Shiro gestured down to himself pointedly. “I’m not exactly at peak physical fitness anymore. People used to call me buff.”

“You are still muscular.”

“Sure, but I don’t look like it anymore.”

Sendak’s eyes raked his figure.

“You believe you must be visibly muscular for me to find you attracted,” he realized aloud. It sounded so shallow when put like that.

“No! I mean…I suppose I’m just having a hard time understanding. I know there’s nothing wrong with the way I am, but I can’t imagine that—that you would want this.”

“That I would want you, my mate,” Sendak said, amused.

“Well—"

“The—how did Lance put it—the love of my life?”

Shiro’s cheeks flushed a darker pink, and he squirmed, not only because of Sendak but the strength of his scent, which seemed to reach inside Shiro and take hold of him, squeezing him from the inside out. He could feel himself getting wetter, and when Sendak’s fingers brushed his cheek, he leaned heavily into the touch.

“Sendak,” he breathed. He tried to slide close, but Sendak held him at bay, and Shiro didn’t understand why until he tugged Shiro’s shirt over his head and splayed both hands across Shiro’s naked torso.

“I see a body that has supported the lives of my family.” Sendak kissed the top of Shiro’s right breast. He was hard; Shiro could smell his arousal. “Fed them. You have scars from battle, hard fought and deserved. Are these ‘stretch marks’ not the same?”

Shiro didn’t have a reply. He hadn’t—he’d never thought of it like that.

“It was a battle of a different sort, and you came out the other end alive, more beautiful than I have ever seen you.” He kissed Shiro’s sternum, a rumbling growl working up the back of his throat. His scent laid over Shiro like a thick blanket; he was starting to lose focus. “These scars are just a point of honor as much your stretch marks. You are no less worthy for them.”

“I—” Shiro didn’t know what to say. He shivered when Sendak moved his mouth to the side, sucking directly on Shiro’s nipple. He knew how sensitive they were. “Sendak.”

“You carried the lives of our children inside you.” Sendak lifted Shiro’s leg so he could reach between his thighs, his breaths becoming heavy with arousal. Shiro wriggled closer, the burning need in his belly blazing to life the moment Sendak’s fingers came close to his hole. “You have fed and nurtured them, and you are healthy. There is nothing more arousing to me than you as you are now.” He paused. “You’re already quite wet.”

“Sendak.” Shiro shivered again, tiny shudders working through his body. Sendak sat up and grabbed him by his hips, turning him around. Shiro went willingly, eager to present himself.

He wasn’t aware he was already pleading with Sendak to fuck him until he dragged his cock over the slick dripping out of him and the air was punched right from his lungs.

It was different, during heat. Just that teasing touch made his fingers itch to push down Sendak and find relief himself.

“Fuck me,” he demanded breathlessly, digging his nails into the sheets. Every breath he took smelled and tasted like Sendak.

“I feel your need,” Sendak growled, “but you will wait. I will not hurt you.” A flicker of amusement. “Not until you beg for it.”

There was a sense of calm that tried washed over him from Sendak’s end of the bond. Tried being key, as it did little to quell the need rising, forming a sharp needlepoint.

“Please.”  Shiro pushed back against Sendak’s cock, reaching with one hand, trying to translate to him how much he needed it. “Please, Sendak, please fuck me.”

At the first push of his cock, the moan that came out of Shiro was obscene. He spread his legs, bearing down, a plea on each breath, and when Sendak pushed nearly all the way in, Shiro’s moans turned throaty and loud. Sendak’s cock was huge, but Shiro was wet, and after a few more pushes his hips met Shiro’s, buried all the way to the hilt.

The tentacles teased the inside of his thighs, brushing over the slick and spreading it. Relief hit Shiro like a tidal wave, rolling over the pain of taking something so big so quickly, but it still wasn’t enough. Grinding himself back on Sendak’s cock, Shiro gnawed on his knuckle as his first orgasm hit him.

He trembled, twitching with aftershocks, and a second later he whined, tipping his head back, vying for more. And Sendak gave it to him.

He fucked him with the same brutal efficiency that Shiro remembered. He basked in it, each thrust relentlessly sharp and pounding, chipping away at the burning heat. He pulled Shiro back against his hips, grinding into him until Shiro squirmed as he came internally again, his cock still flushed.

He came once more after that, and he was working up to a fourth as Sendak fucked him, but by then he was so desperate for a knot he wanted to grab at Sendak’s hips and hold him in place until he could feel it. He tried, wriggling, reaching for him, but Sendak grabbed his wrist and stilled him, thrusting his sex to the hilt in one vicious thrust.

“Fuck,” Shiro gasped, his hips flooded with pleasure. It felt like his body was on fire. “Need you to knot me. Please, please, pleaseplease—yes!”

He cried out in relief when he felt the tentacles wriggle up inside him, forming the knot. It was unpleasant—the first knotting was always the most intense—but he needed it. He needed Sendak’s knot plugging him up until he was so full there was no doubt in his mind he’d be pregnant by the end.

“Yes,” Sendak said, reading his mind. “You’d easily become pregnant from my seed. Mine.”

“God,” Shiro gasped, spreading his legs, trying in futile to make more room for the massive knot. He was vaguely aware that Sendak was coming, but it was drowned out by the rush of being knotted, being so full again. “Oh, god.”

Soon after that, Shiro lost all sense of time. He was pretty sure Sendak did, too. Being bonded like they were meant that the fever of heat affected Sendak as well. Not as severely as it did Shiro, sure, but they didn’t stop fucking for hours.

At one point, when Sendak was fucking Shiro against the wall, hips wrapped around Sendak’s waist, their eyes met, and then they were kissing for the first time since his heat had started. Sendak was heedless at first of the sharp canines, but as Shiro melted into him, wrapping his arms around his neck, their coupling inexplicably softened.

“I want another baby,” Shiro breathed, swallowing Sendak’s answering groan with another open-mouthed kiss. “Want your baby. Wanna have your baby again.”

“You’ll have it,” Sendak growled. He grunted, hoisting Shiro up higher so he could fuck him in several punishing thrusts. “I will give you any number of children. You’ll be full and fat and mine.”

“Yours, yours,” Shiro chanted, framing his face with his hands. “And you’re mine. My alpha.”

In the back of his mind, Shiro knew that he wouldn’t get pregnant. He knew, and he would be glad for it later. But in those moments, while Sendak was pumping him full of come, stroking the sides of his face and biting into the bondmark, he couldn’t quite quell the sense of disappointment in knowing he wouldn’t be able to share this with him again.

And then there was the rest of his heat.

Shiro had had so many heats throughout his life that the intensity never surprised him. He was used to it.

He wasn’t used to this.

Through Sendak, his need seemed to echo back at him, a never-ending loop that had Shiro pawing at Sendak every single second, begging to be plugged on his knot. Sendak did his best to deliver, knotting him any time as asked, at one point going so far as to knot him three times in quick succession.

It was never enough. He wanted everything Sendak could give him. It didn’t matter what Sendak thought they should do; Shiro couldn’t focus on anything other than the fire burning a hole in his gut.

“Eat,” Sendak said, his words cutting through the haze that was slowly dissipating after another successful knotting.

Shiro was bathed in sweat, caked in fluids, and he felt exhausted enough to sleep for a year. Even so, he hadn’t found slept just yet. Maybe it was because their minds were connected, but he couldn’t seem to fall into the mid-heat slumber that was meant to give him a break, instead heading into round after round.

Shiro eyed the protein bar warily as he took it out of Sendak’s hand.

“Not really hungry,” he muttered, but unwrapped it with shaking fingers, taking a bite regardless. Sendak watched him like a hawk, his gaze never once leaving Shiro’s face until he’d eaten half.

“I could keep you knotted like this,” Sendak said, as much of an offering as it was a question. He stroked a hand down Shiro’s flank. “If you would like to rest.”

Shiro shook his head. He laid his arm over his forehead and sighed.

“I’ll sleep when my body’s ready. I think. There’s a reason we don’t stay knotted during heat. Even with toys. ‘S not safe.” His word slurred together as his mouth opened in a jaw-cracking yawn. “We could go into toxic shock. Or something.”

Sendak grunted in assent. Overall, he didn’t seem too bothered by the prospect of more sex. Shiro rolled his eyes and waited for Sendak to pull out and the fever to take over.

Eventually Shiro did sleep, and when he did, it was deeply. Instead of the occasional nap to rejuvenate himself, he slept for hours, his dreams twisted and strange.

When he woke, he had no clue what time it was. Sendak mentioned something about it being evening before he fell asleep, but he couldn’t remember.

Sendak was still asleep beside him. His scent was thick and warm, settling over Shiro, tempting him. Ignoring that, Shiro went to pee, but by the time he’d returned, barely a minute later, he was crawling on top of Sendak, grabbing his cock and angling it inside him.

“What a lovely picture you make,” Sendak said, his voice low from sleep, blinking up at Shiro blearily. He flashed his teeth in a vicious grin as he sank his claws into Shiro’s thigh and fisted his cock with his other hand, prompting the first of another round of orgasms.

Later in Shiro’s heat, when he wasn’t so desperate, they had more intent to linger and take their time.

Somehow, at some point Sendak ended up knotting Shiro in front of his bed. They’d started with Shiro bracing his hands on the edge, but then Sendak had cupped his full chest in both hands and lifted him up, supporting him while he rutted into Shiro languidly.

“You really—” Shiro stopped to moan, his shortness of breath attributed to the way the change in angle had Sendak’s sex gliding over his prostate. He slid his hands over the back of Sendak’s, curling his fingers in between his. “You really don’t mind the, the way I look?”

“I love it,” Sendak rumbled, an instant, honest reply. He slid his hands down Shiro’s torso, feeling every inch and curve before planting his hands greedily over the widest parts of his hips. “Your body is full from a life well-lived. Life that I’ve helped provide and nurture.” He thrust in again, and Shiro’s toes curled. “From life we have created.”

“Fuck,” Shiro rasped. It was hard to feel bad about himself when he could tell just how deeply Sendak felt about him. “You really mean that, oh my god. And I know I’ve said this a few times now—”

“A few dozen, perhaps.”

“—but I really want another baby.” His moan softened into a whine when Sendak pulled out slowly, thrusting back inside with a wet squelch. “I’m going to hate myself for thinking that later.”

“Just think: if you didn’t have that pesky implant, we could have more.”

Shiro’s following laugh was a little desperate, it melted into a low cry when Sendak finally knotted him, taking his time, slow enough that by the time Shiro came, his legs were quivering, shaking from pleasure. He would’ve collapsed if not for Sendak’s arms holding him up.

Once it was over, they laid in bed for another hour, cuddling up together, basking in the feeling of not needing to fuck for once. When Shiro shifted in Sendak’s arms, his ass throbbed, a reminder that the next few hours were going to be very unpleasant.

“Do you still want another child?” Sendak asked, nuzzling the top of his head.

“You’re only saying that now hoping I’m still thinking about it.”

“Well?”

“I love you, but we are not having another baby.”

Sendak chuckled, tilting Shiro’s head back so he could kiss him. “That is not what I asked.”

“Ugh. You know I want another baby, but we can’t.” He squirmed as Sendak’s fingers teased at his ass. “Don’t. Maybe when all this is over we can have another, but I’m very happy with the two we have now. Which I’d like to see.”

Sendak perked up at the mention of the twins.

Together they got in the shower. Sendak suggested that they use the sonic function for a faster exit, but Shiro wanted the hot water for his sore muscles—particularly his thighs and calves. He stayed under the spray for a ridiculously long time, dozing against the wall, and it was Sendak who eventually forced him to get out.

He wiped Shiro down with the fluffiest towels they had available, massaging his arms and legs while he did so, careful of the various claw wounds that had been left in the wake of their mating.

“How do you feel?” Sendak asked quietly while he was wringing out Shiro’s hair.

Shiro hummed, eyes closed. “Feel good. Sore, but that’s not unusual. I love you.”

“And I love you,” Sendak returned warmly. What felt like years ago, he’d barely been able to articulate caring about Shiro, and now—now they were in love.

Shiro smiled sleepily up at Sendak, pushing all the love and affection he could through the bond. He felt Sendak take hold of it, his one eye that was gazing at Shiro bright.

[nh935]

Creepy America, Episode 7: Alone

Creepy America Episode 7 “Alone” Wilmington, North Carolina

I know it was pretty naive, but neither of us thought that there would be any long-term consequences when we started “Creepy America”. Short term emergencies, yes, but nothing that would follow us back. We wouldn’t even think about it being a possibility until North Carolina. The seeds were there for some; we had learned about the existence of Iris Broadcasting and started down the road that would pit us against Archangel. But Sam was the first time I found something that I knew would come back to haunt us later.

***

When I woke up and opened my eyes that morning, they fell on the cheap wall clock we had hanging up in the kitchen. It was 10:00, but as my mind began to energize, I noticed that there were no other sounds in the R.V. Zoey was still asleep. That wasn’t unusual; Zoey enjoyed sleeping in, sometimes until noon. I also didn’t mind, because I tended to enjoy these quiet moments alone.

I got up from my spot on the couch, stretched, then found the small camcorder sitting on the floor. Turning it on, I left it on the table and started my morning routine. This was something we were trying to get into a habit of doing: keeping the camera recording all the time. Neither of us really knew when something weird was going to happen, so best to be prepared. It sat there, recording the living space as I microwaved one of the breakfast sandwiches from the freezer, took a quick shower, got dressed and started the coffee maker. As I did, I noticed the clock again.

10:00.

I furrowed my brow at it. That couldn’t be right. It had said that when I woke up this morning and at least fifteen minutes had passed since then. I tapped it to see if something inside was stuck.

The hands didn’t move.

Must be out of batteries, I thought. I shrugged and filled up a cup with coffee, then stepped outside to enjoy it; December in North Carolina apparently meant a crisp fall everywhere else. As I sat there and savored the fresh air, I noticed the camp was mostly silent as well. The usual chorus of playing children and grumbling parents messing with camping equipment was gone, with only the whispers of the wind to take its place. I appreciated it; after the Hotel California and Red Like Roses, I could use some peace and quiet.

Once the coffee was gone, I thought about what I should do. The only thing we had planned today was leaving the campsite we were staying at and heading out on the road again. Because of that, Zoey would have no guilt about staying in bed, so it would probably be a while before she was up. I didn’t particularly feel like just waiting around, so I decided to go to the front office and check out.

I hesitated, then went back inside and grabbed the camera before heading out.

It was almost dead silent. The rows of other R.V.s were still, with no people inside moving about or talking. The same was true for the tents, cabins, and even campground facilities like the pool and arcade room. That was extremely unusual. Normally, these places would be swarming with activity, with kids running around and staff doing daily maintenance stuff. It was strange for there to be nobody in sight.

“Everyone else must’ve decided to sleep in too” I joked to the camera.

The strange silence continued. I couldn’t even hear birds.

Unnerved, I continued inside to the large building that served as the main office area. There was no one there. Just a large building with a front desk, a small gift shop, and doors leading to other areas, all quiet and abandoned.

I loudly cleared my throat. “Hello?”

Nothing.

“Hello!” I said, louder. “Front desk?”

Still nothing.

I walked around the large desk to the employee side. Behind the counter was a computer and a cup of coffee, just sitting there like someone had left it for a second and was going to come back. But the cash register was also there, wide open, full of money. Alarm bells went off in my head. No way does an employee just willingly leave a full drawer of money open and unguarded for anyone to walk by and steal.

“Hey!” I moved over to the gift shop. Shelves of knick knacks and various minor supplies were in the room, but no people. I ran to the pool area. No people. I ran to the arcade. No people. I tried the “employees only” door. It was unlocked. Inside were desks, offices, rooms and closets with supplies. But in every one of them, no people.

A horrible thought entered my mind.

I ran out of the building, across the parking lot, back to the row of R.V.s. “Zoey!” I yelled. “Zoey!”

I flung open the screen door and bolted to the door of her room, pounding on it. “Hey Zoe, Zoey! Open up.” I didn’t hear anything on the other side. “C’mon, Oxenfree, this is important.”

I stopped and just listened, straining my ears for any sign that she had heard me. When I didn’t find any, I pounded on the door again. “Zoey, if you don’t open up this door, I’m going to break it down!”

Silence.

“Alright then.” I shoved against the door with my shoulder, throwing my weight onto the cheap frame over and over. The material began to creak and crack, and with only a few more shoves, it broke, swinging wide and showing me the inside of the room.

I could see the hallmarks of Zoey using that room. The blankets on top of the bed were mussed up and scattered. Her phone was sitting on the bedside table, plugged in and charging. The clothes she had been wearing last night were in a heap in the corner and the bags containing all her other things were sitting in the room.

But Zoey wasn’t there.

I headed back to the living area and dropped onto the couch, stunned. For a few moments, all I could do was sit there in shock, then I turned the camera towards my face. “Alright… Hello everybody, and welcome back to Creepy America. We’re in, um… we’re in Wilmington, North Carolina today. Well, I say we, but I guess it’s just me, because… because I can’t find anyone else. Everyone here in this campsite is gone. Including Zoey. It looks like… I’m alone.”

***

I spent some time searching around the campsite, just to confirm that there really was no one. And there really was. I forced my way into several R.V.s, and in each one I could find evidence of people sans people. There were breakfasts half-eaten, suitcases that looked like they were in the process of being packed up and then stopped, and a multitude of phones, wallets, and other valuables lying about without owners. The tents told much of the same story.  Everywhere I looked, the place was abandoned, as if the people just up and evaporated into thin air.

I started our car up and tried to leave, but there was a large minivan pulling into the entrance, empty and standing still, and no matter how I angled the car, there was no way to get around it. I drove it back to the R.V. and, after a bit of searching, I found a bike large enough for me to ride. Putting the camera in the metal-wire basket, I rode out and onto the road.

A few hundred feet up, there was a car stopped at a stop sign.

“Oh thank goodness” I breathed. “Hey! Sir! I need…”

I rode up to the driver side window and stopped. There was nobody inside the car.

I started up again and pedaled harder. I passed another car, this one just sitting in the middle of the roadway, once again abandoned. Another empty car. And another empty car. I kept going until I hit a road named “Market Street”, a big four lane highway that ran right through the center of town.

There were lines and lines of cars, stopped, still and emptied, as if some giant had just carefully set them there to give the illusion of daily life without any life, like living in a diorama.

“It’s everywhere, isn’t it?” I whispered.

All I heard was the complete silence. It was answer enough.

***

I wasn’t sure of what else to do, so I kept going down Market Street, slowing down every so often to weave around a cluster of cars. Eventually, I began to feel tired, so I turned into a large shopping complex area, Mayfair, I think it was called, and stopped. The stores were large, popular chains, I could see a Marshalls, a Gap, and a Micheals just from this angle, but like everything else I had found so far, it was empty and deserted. It seemed like a good enough place as any to stop, so I parked the bike and walked about.

It was surreal, being in such a public place with absolutely no people about. I could walk into any store and be the only one in the entire building, no customers or employees to interact with whatsoever. I don’t know if you’ve ever been truly alone like that before, where you’re in a large space and know that there’s nobody around but you, but it’s a very bizarre feeling.

I messed around with stuff, of course. I think we’ve all had a few fantasies about having the whole world to ourselves, like being the last survivor in an apocalypse, so I indulged a bit. I went to the fancier outlets and tried on clothes that were way too expensive. I grabbed high-tech remote control cars and drones and tried them out on the street. I found one of the golf carts the mall security used and I drove it into the mall displays, knocking over carefully-placed products and fashionably-dressed mannequins.

I also broke some stuff. I was still recording and I wanted to prove that I hadn’t somehow gotten permission to wander around after-hours and pretend like everyone was gone. I needed to show that I was actually alone. So I set a few of the drones on a fire. I also took a metal baseball bat from a sporting good store and smacked some of the windows with it. They didn’t break, probably so that morons couldn’t walk around breaking their windows with baseball bats, but I did manage to make quite a few long cracks and I was sure to show the camera them.

It quickly got boring after an hour or two, so I started trying to figure out what was going on. The first thing I noticed was that the time was all wrong. Every clock, no matter the model or what it was attached to, all showed the same time: 10:00 AM. They refused to acknowledge any time passing. You could set them to different times and wait, but then it’d just show the new time forever. My phone also insisted it was 10:00 AM, and even more bizarre, the other clock apps didn’t work. If I started the stopwatch, it’d just sit there at zero. Same with the timer and any time I set it to count down to. I even managed to find some analog pendulum clocks, but even with the pendulum swinging, the hands refused to move.

That didn’t quite mean that time didn’t pass, though. The sun was still moving in the sky. And when I grabbed an apple from a nearby restaurant, bit into it, and let it sit in the open air, it browned and rotted like any apple would. So there was some kind of time, just one the clocks didn’t recognize.

Or any electronics for that matter. The electricity worked in every store, even well into the night. My phone and camera also had a full charge on them, seemingly forever. No matter how much I used either, the battery would not go down. It was confusing, but I was grateful for it.

It was something I continued to ponder as the sun began to set in the evening. I was in the Micheals, squeezing paint onto cardboard to see if it still dried, when a shadow caught my attention from outside.

It was a person, dressed in a puke-green hoodie and dark, dirty jeans. Under that were what I think were work boots. He shuffled forward with this jerky gate and his shoulders were hunched over, giving his spine the curve of an old man.

I got up and approached the window. I wanted to shout, to yell in victory. Here was another person, finally! We could work together, but just as I was about to bang on the glass, I stopped.

When I was six, I went to the zoo with my dad. The last place we went to see was the polar bears. They were enclosed in this little rocky area surrounded by plexiglass, and I walked up to the clear surface and put my face up to it. Something about that must have angered the polar bear inside, because it immediately charged forward, jaws open, slobbering, right at me. I didn’t know what was going on, didn’t even know what a polar bear was, but watching an angry predator running right at me triggered something in my brain. A primal something. It knew what danger was, and this, it told me, was it.

The bear was stopped by the plexiglass, of course, and nothing more came of it than a story. But I’ve never forgotten that alien intrusion of fear from ancient memories.

It was the exact same feeling I was getting while staring at the person outside.

It turned, saw me frozen at the doorway, nodded, and shuffled off.

***

“That was fucking stupid of me.”

I was in some huge department store called “Belk”, preparing to camp out for the night. Fortunately for me, there was a section in the back for bedding and mattresses, so I was in the process of shoving things off of a giant display bed so I could sleep on it. Across from me, on a small wooden nightstand, was my camcorder, still focused on me.

“The only person I see all day and I don’t get their attention because what? I got creeped out?” I sighed and threw a plastic sign with a price written on it across the room. “I mean, it was human. Certainly didn’t look like anything else. And he obviously wasn’t hostile. In fact, he was pretty calm, all things considered. Maybe he could have told me how to get everybody back. I mean, he certainly didn’t seem bothered by this. Right?”

I turned. For a brief moment, I forgot about what was happening, and I expected to hear a voice respond; maybe even Zoey.

Obviously, there wasn’t one. All that was there was the camcorder.

I shook my head. “I need to get everyone back soon, before I go insane.”

***

The next day, I tried to find the figure again, hunting everywhere I could think of in the mall complex. I started with a systematic search of each building. When that failed to turn up anything, I drove the cart into each parking lot, looking for the man. I even managed to climb to a rooftop and look out, trying to spot him. No luck. I considered leaving the complex to go search for him, but I decided against it. Seeing as how he knew I was here, I could miss him if he decided to come back.

Not sure what else to do, I headed over to Barnes and Noble and gathered a huge supply of books to light a signal fire; it was the only other thing I could think of to bring him back. While gathering armful after armful of poorly written romance paperbacks, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Turns out that the free wifi from the Starbucks inside was still working. And the internet was perfectly accessible, though there was nothing on there posted since yesterday at 10:00 AM. Everytime I tried to post something, I would just get an error message. Even so, I spent most of my time in there from that point onwards, researching my predicament.

It didn’t help. Admittedly, I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to be searching for. Just googling “where is everybody?” didn’t seem like it would help. I found a few things online: the colony at Roanoke, the Mary Celeste, a couple of Indian tribes. But nothing like this.

While I was doing this, I had the camera on and pointed at me. Every so often, I’d say something to it, like “hey, what do you think about this?'' or “I want your opinion on something”. I could try to justify it as talking to the audience, but in reality, I was just lonely. Talking to the camera helped, though looking back at that unblinking lenses always crumbled whatever comfort it brought.

I was in the middle of reading another article, curled up in a chair in the corner, when I heard the sound of the doors swinging open. I jumped to my feet, ready to call out… then stopped.

The sensation of danger was back. I could feel it increase with every bootstep I heard.

I was torn. On one hand, my rational brain, lonely, wanting answers, and fed up with silly superstitions, was screaming at me to yell out, to make myself known before he just walked away again. But my lizard brain was telling me just as loud to go hide, stay quiet before it finds you.

I should say something. I was just being silly. There was a perfect counterargument to every single point the fear center of my brain was telling me.

But the feeling of uneasiness only grew.

The “thump thump thump” of the boots were getting close. I could see the sickly green of the hood in the next aisle. All he… it… whatever, had to do was turn a corner and he’d see me.

I needed to make a decision now.

I dived behind the chair I was sitting in, curling up my body and trying not to breathe.

The “thumps” were behind me now, moving about the small cafe. My hiding place was bad. All he had to do was walk a little closer and he could see me. I needed to do something.

Close your eyes the lizard brain told me. If you can’t see it, it can’t see you.

I shook my head. That didn’t make any sense. That was a child’s solution. It wouldn’t do any good.

There was another loud “thump” behind me, indicating it had taken another step closer.

All thoughts of trying to be rational left my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could, like my very life depended on not being able to see.

Behind me, I could hear him climbing up to kneel on the chair, the fabric protesting. I could feel him lean over my shoulder and hear the deep sniffing he gave to the air. The smell of old dirt and cold night wind filled my nostrils, mixed with something sour and acidic. It spoke, and I didn’t hear it with my ears as much as I heard it echo in my mind, and before you say anything, yes, you can hear the voice on the episode. But I’m telling you what I experienced.

LIAM, the creature said in its strange echoes, I CAN SMELL YOU. STOP THIS GAME.

I tried not to gag as his face inched closer and closer to mine. I just had to keep my eyes closed.

The seconds hung in the air for an eternity.

Finally, the chair creaked again, and it left, the “thumping” fading into the store. After waiting another minute or so, I slowly opened my eyes.

CRASH!

The sound of something falling caught my attention and before I realized it, I turned my head to the source. There, at the end of the cafe, was the thing, standing over a knocked-over table, arms still outstretched in the shove that toppled it over. As soon as I saw it, it turned to me, and inside the black of the hood, I could see the two small dots of impossibly bright light that were his eyes and white, almost glowing needle-like teeth, turned up into a smile of absolute madness.

THERE YOU ARE.

I panicked. I grabbed the camera and bolted, sprinting outside. The thing didn’t try to follow me, didn’t try to stop me. It just threw its head back and laughed. And laughed and laughed. I could hear the cruel sounds echo out the store, into the parking lot, and across the empty world.

***

“May-maybe I got this all wrong.”

I was sitting in the parking lot. The sun was setting, but I hadn’t moved from this spot since my encounter with the thing earlier in the day.

“So far, I’ve been thinking that something happened to everyone else. That everybody in the world disappeared.” I looked back at the camera staring in my face. “But what if I’m the only one who disappeared?

“I mean, think about it. Every so often, you hear of people just vanishing. Gone without a trace. And sure, while some of them are found, most of them are just gone forever.

“I think that this is a space between seconds and that, somehow, I slipped between the cracks while the rest of the world ticks on. It would explain the time, and why it looks like everyone’s just gone.

“But that brings up a problem.”

I swallowed. “There’s 90,000 people missing in the United States at any given time. Even if only some of them have ended up here, that’s still a big enough number for me to see someone, or at least, the evidence of someone. But there isn’t. Which means that… thing, whatever it is…

...it’s probably the thing that got them.”

***

I spent the entirety of the next day trying to get back.

I conducted frantic experiment after frantic experiment to get myself unstuck. I went back to the R.V., fell asleep there, re-did everything I did that morning, checking the video recording to make sure I didn’t forget a single detail, down to tapping the wall clock. That didn’t work. I tried going to the office, walking around, searching every square inch of the campground for something. I pedaled back and forth, back and forth, from the mall to the campground. I tried undoing as much damage as I could to the mall and then destroying more things when nothing happened.

None of it did any good. Nothing changed, and I was no closer to figuring out how to reverse it than I was my first day here.

By the time evening came around, I was out in the large Main Street, pacing back and forth, staring down into my camera. “C’mon…” I muttered to the device. “There has to be something. Think, damn it, think!”

There was a sudden flapping sound, like fabric in the wind, from behind me. Without thinking, I turned to look at it.

The thing was back. I swerved away from it, squeezing my eyes shut, but even as I did so, the split second look gave me enough time to sear the image into my memory:

I saw him, same as before, only now the flat white circles of his eyes were as large as spotlights and he was using one hand to pull the hood off, and I swear, the darkness was spilling out. The inside of that hood didn’t look black because the hood was making shadows. No, that hood was somehow holding an infinite amount of void back, and now that it was down, the void inside was eager to rush out.

With my eyes still closed, I turned away and tried to run, but I immediately felt its fingers on my face. They were groping and grabbing at me, as if it was blind. LET ME IN it shouted in its echoing voice. RECEIVE MY BAPTISM. TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AMONGST THE DISEASED THINGS, LIAM.

I put my arms up and struggled back. It was like fighting a statue. Its hands were too strong to pull away. Any attempts to pull back its fingers refused to do so much as budge them. All I could really do was bat at them, confusing his grasp in the search for my face as we continued this blind grapple.

STOP FIGHTING ME! It sounded frustrated. THIS IS YOUR DESTINY. JOIN THE ACID-ETCHED FLOCK AND DENY YOURSELF NO MORE!

The hands shot forward faster than I could react. I felt each one grip around my eyelids, pulling the skin back with a painful amount of strength. I grabbed onto the hands and pushed, but I might as well have been pushing a mountain. I tried to force my eyelids closed, so hard I thought they might tear, but bit by agonizing bit, he opened them wider, and wider, and wider, until I saw. Not my attacker, but a horrible darkness, filled with eyes and teeth and chattering voices for eternity.

WITNESSSS….

I screamed. I felt faint. My vision clouded over, not with the skin of my eyelids, but the shutting down of my brain in the face of overwhelming insanity.

I could feel a foreign “click” somewhere in my mind, and the sensation was suddenly too much. I collapsed into unconsciousness.

***

“You alright, buddy?”

I opened my eyes, but it took me several seconds for them to focus.

I was on the ground, in the parking lot of the mall complex. The sun was out. I could feel the bright rays on my skin.

I struggled to get up, wiping drool away, and a hand offered to help me up.

A human hand. A human hand attached to a large, slightly fat, red faced… human.

I grabbed onto it and pulled myself up, embracing the man in a hug. As I did so, I saw more people, moms and kids and bored adults of all kinds, walking the sidewalks. They were staring at me. I’ve never felt so happy to be judged.

“They’re all back” I whispered.

“Yeah, great” the stranger I was hugging replied. “Do you…”

���Where’s the camera?” I broke away from the grasp and looked around. There it was, only a few feet away. I grabbed it and looked it over. Seemed fine.

“Wait a minute.” I turned and ran over to the nearby GameStop, a store I know I had cracked the windows of. No cracks. No evidence of repairs either, as I ran my fingers over the glass.

“Hey!” I grabbed the arm of a passerby. “What day is it?”

“Get the hell off of me!” he exclaimed.

“What day is it?” I insisted.

“Tuesday.”

“The date!”

“The 8th, you fucking psycho.” He shook me off and hurried away, glaring.

I pulled out my phone. Sure enough, it read “10:03 A.M., December 8.”

I blinked. That couldn’t be right. I had spent at least three whole days in that other place and no time had passed.

“Yeah, that’s the guy.” I turned to see the gentleman I had hugged earlier talking to someone in a mall security uniform. I grabbed a random bike leaning against a building and started to pedal; now seemed like a good time to leave.

Besides, there was one last thing I needed to check.

I didn’t let up on the speed the whole way there, going as fast as that bike would let me. Once I reached the campground, I shoved it to the side and weaved through people as I ran back to the R.V.

“Zoey!” I yelled. I unlocked the door and flung it open. “Zoey, are you in here?!”

She was standing in the living area, pajamas still on, hair a mess. She winced when I yelled. “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t reply, just embraced her in a long hug. She stood still for a bit, stunned.

“It’s way too early in the morning to be dealing with this shit” she mumbled, but she reciprocated the hug anyway.

***

I showed Zoey all the footage. She was silent as she watched it, eyes glued to the screen.  (As an interesting side note, she later told me it was “a bitch to edit.” Even though there were over twelve hours of recording, the timestamp for every single frame was at 0:00, and according to the metadata of the files, the recordings were all zero seconds long. She had to do some strange edits to the metadata just to be able to work with it.)

Once the video got to me running back to the R.V., she turned it off. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. I don’t think it worked.

“I feel bad for you.” She shook her head. “First ‘Worlds of Wonder’, now this. You have some real shit luck, Liam, you know that?”

“Yeah.” I tapped the surface of the table. “Do you think… maybe the ‘Worlds of Wonder’ was what allowed me to get knocked loose?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. But that still doesn’t explain what happened in either case.”

“I guess.” I was quiet for a moment. “So what now?”

“Well, we missed check-out time, so I guess we’re staying here for another day. I’m gonna start editing this, you just enjoy existing again.”

“Hey Zoey, do you think… do you think I could sleep in your room tonight?” I could feel myself blushing. “Just for tonight. I’ll sleep on the floor, I just… want to make sure people are still around.”

She sighed. “I won’t make you sleep on the floor. Just tonight, though. And don’t make it weird.”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

***

For those of you who remember the episode, this is where it ended. But that wasn’t the end. At least, it wasn’t for me.

I was on the mattress, scooched as far away from her as I could without falling off. She was asleep, but I was wide awake, just listening to the gentle sounds of her snores and appreciating the way her weight curved the mattress. I was just about to drift off, when I heard the sound of flapping again.

I turned and looked out the window, and there it was. Same hoodie, same jeans, same shoulders hunched up over the neckline. But its hood was back up, and the eyes and teeth were no longer visible. Just infinite black inside.

“Zoey!” I reached over and shook her, not taking my eyes off the thing. “Zoey, wake up!”

SHE WON’T WAKE UP LIAM.

I got out of bed. “What did you do to her?”

ME? NOTHING. I AM THE EMPEROR OF DREAMS. MY SUBJECTS ARE DETAINING HER UPON MY REQUEST. Zoey whimpered and shifted, and I felt the thing’s crazy smile even though I couldn’t see it. LOOKS LIKE A FEW OF THEM ARE GETTING A LITTLE OVERZEALOUS.

“If you hurt her…”

RELAX, LIAM. SHE’LL BE FINE. I’M HERE FOR YOU.

I took a step back. “Me?”

YES. I AM SAM THE AXEMAN, LOVER OF JAZZ AND MUSE OF MORTALS, AND AS SUCH I COME TO INSPIRE THOSE I DEEM WORTHY. I CAME TO BERKOWITZ IN THE FORM OF A DOG, I CAME TO GACY IN THE FORM OF A CLOWN, AND I COME TO YOU NOW, TO INSPIRE AND ASCEND YOU TO GREAT WORKS AS WELL.

“Th-those are serial killers.”

I felt his smile again. YES.

I became dizzy. I backed away to the far wall, feeling cold and nascuous. I wanted to vomit.

COME NOW, LIAM. REJOICE! ANYONE CAN BE BAPTISED BY THE GOD OF LIGHT. HE IS A TWO BIT WHORE. BUT TO BE BLESSED BY A DARK GOD, TO RECEIVE THE DARK BAPTISM I HAVE GIVEN YOU, THAT IS A DISTINCTION FEW OTHERS CAN CLAIM.

My teeth were chattering. I couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the fear. “Wh-what are y-you going to d-do to me?”

NOTHING, YET. YOU ARE NOT YET READY. YOU ARE AN ABRAM NOT YET GIVEN A COVENANT, A SAUL BEFORE THE BLINDING LIGHT, A JAGER WITH NOSE STILL VIRGIN OF COKE. I WILL WATCH YOU, AND WHEN I SEE THAT YOU ARE READY, WHEN I CAN SMELL THE FRAYING OF YOUR MIND FROM THE ACID-ETCHED BAPTISM, I SHALL COME BACK TO GIVE YOU A DARK PENTECOST. AND ON THAT DAY, YOU WILL BE TRULY TRANSFORMED.

I wanted to protest, to tell him no, but I couldn’t. My mind felt… wrong. I couldn’t think. My attempts to formulate words ended up unraveling before they began. My back hit the wall and I slid to the floor, until I could no longer see him. I felt fuzzy. I smelled worms.

He laughed. SEE YOU SOON, LIAM. AND KNOW THAT I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, ‘TIL THE VERY END OF THE AGE. There was a fluttering sound again, and it all stopped. Zoey was no longer writhing and I could think again.

I was afraid. This… Sam, had followed me back. And he was going to keep following me. I had no idea what he meant by baptisms and pentacosts, but I was sure I didn’t want to know. And now, even though I was back in the land of the living, even though I was safe, I couldn’t help but realize a terrible fact:

We had lost this one, and the consequences were only just beginning.

[mayvelous]

Roadtrip to New Hamsphire 2019

Left around 10am Thursday morning and stopped at Dunkin for coffee and donuts. Drove to Springfield, MA and had lunch at Taste of Lebanon before heading to Hannaford for some goldfish snacks. Then we explored Dartmouth University at Hanover, NH. It felt very preppy. People were dressed in golf clothings walking around campus and eating miniature size ice cream from cups. Lots of people that tends to stare at others that walk by with inquisitive looks. Jeremy called them a bunch of psychos and that all they were missing were white wigs. Look who’s judging now...

We then drove straight to the bed and breakfast to check in at the Horse and Hound Inn in Franconia, NH. The place had a very old fashion countryside feel to it. You walk right into a living space with s fireplace. If you got further in there is library with books and games. On the other side there is a very small tavern before you get to a large dinner area. There is also an outdoor patio and green space. They had a small kitchen garden which was very cute. The only thing I didn’t like was that we were upgraded to a larger room that was right by the staircase with windows facing the roadside. Although there weren’t too many cars, we would hear them if they drove by. The good thing was that we felt as if we were the only ones there. Although we did see 2 other group of guests during breakfast the next morning. Grabbed dinner at Shillings beer brewing company at Littleton, NH that night. It was a cute small town that we would like to go back too and stay at. We had the best meal at this place. Jeremy says 5 out of 5. Jeremy said his beer was amazing. We ordered chicken maple pizza and a Mac and cheese with bacon. The pizza was indescribably delicious. Have to go back just for that! I was initially a little annoyed at the wait for the food, but the pizza was so good all was forgiven after the first bite. We then walked to the covered bridge and took in the view of the river.

Friday morning after breakfast (scrambled eggs, bacon, oj, fruit and coffee) we left around 9ish for Mt Lafayette trailhead. Due to the rain we didn’t start the Franconia Ridge Loop until 9:45 ish. \

The hike was pretty steep at some points. You go thru lots of different climate zones. It’s very cool. Parts of it reminded us of the hike in Portland, OR. Mostly because of the luscious and vibrant green moss. It still felt like forever before we reached the greenleaf hut around 12:15pm (2.9 miles in) where I got lentil soup and some baked goods for just $2 each! The baked goods were so tasty. Jeremy said the soup was unnecessary and just slowed us down. But I thought it was worth it. We restarted the hike around 12:45pm and took a little over an hr to reach Mt. Lafayette summit (1.1 miles from the hut) at 1:50pm. During this time We reached the alpine zone. It went from sweet smelling pine Christmas to no trees and most rocky terrain. When we got to the top, the wind turned from light breeze to a heavier and more forceful wind. At one point it nearly pushed me over. The wind would come and go pretty suddenly. Long sleeves wind jacket is definitely recommended here. The ridge was 1.7 miles long with the best views! This was probably the least strenuous part of the hike with awesome 360 views. We were above the clouds for almost all of this part and it’s mountain range all around. Would come back just for that. Making the hike and entire trip worth it. There were lots of wild blueberry bushes that caught Jeremy’s eyes. And yes we had a bunch! At 3:45pm we reached the falling water trail with 3.2 miles to go. The 2 hours on the ridge went by quick. Jeremy said it was a very breezy 2 hours both literally and figuratively. At this point we were extremely sore. The hike down was the most brutal! Extremely hard on the knees! Basically it was vertically straight down. Lots of climbing where I had to use my hands for support. Two third of the way down, we finally started seeing the falling water. This was a whole new battle since things got much more slippery. We had to crisscross the “falling water” on large slippery rock surfaces several times. Falling water turned into falling Jeremy when he slipped during one of the crisscross. It was like the loop wanted to body slam Jeremy before he got off. “When Jeremy fell his lightening quick reflexes perked up and he was able to land In such a way to avoid Any injuries.” By this point my left ankle was extremely swollen and my right knee was throbbing with sharp pain. At the last 30 min of the hike I was limping to the finish line. No joke! We finally reached the end of the trail at around 7pm. This was the Toughest hike since Nepal. Thank goodness there was still some daylight. The total hike was 9 hrs and 23 min with several food and photo breaks. If we removed all breaks it would probably still have taken us 8.5 hours. We then drove to North Conway (~1 hr drive) and grab a quick dinner at Dairy Queen before going to the new BnB - Darby Field Inn for the night. 

We were so sore after the hike that we decided not to do anymore hiking for the rest of the trip. So on Saturday after breakfast (frittata pancakes bacon muffin oj coffee) we went to the settlers green outlet mall. I bought a new pair of work shoes from g h bass, 2 work shirts from express outlet, a sport bra and compression leggings from under armor. We stopped at the Met cafe for lunch and got paninis and coffee. The chicken were very dry. Do not eat here. I got a heath bar latte which was very sweet and tasty. I initially read the menu incorrectly and thought it was health. Then I asked Jeremy why it was called a health bar latte when it was chocolate and toffee. Jeremy threw his head back and laughed full heartedly and said “it’s a heath bar not a health bar” and then proceeded to lecture me to go get my eyes checked when we get back. Jeremy also liked his coffee so maybe only stop there for drinks. We also made a stop at Trails End Ice Cream and got the largest kiddie size homemade ice cream scoop in a sugar cone ever! It was seriously ridonkelicious. Another 5 out of 5 in Jeremy’s book. 

Afterward we walked around the main strip of North Conway. We bought a new soap dish holder and pine soap from Zed’s general store. A Very cute and charming vintage/retro looking store that sold a whole bunch of local products and gifts. In the back there was an inactive old local soda bar area, on the side it sold lots of chocolate and sweets. they also offered local canned foods and health and beauty products. We also checked out the front of the North Conway train station. Looks like they were having a large lawn market. But by the time we were there around 6:30pm all the shops were closed. We attempted to eat dinner at Delaney hole in the wall restaurant (looked like a fancier place) but the wait for too long so we had food at the Almost there bar which was much closer to our BnB instead. The bar had huge portions. A huge bud light was 2.5! My fish and chip barely fit on the plate. After getting back to the inn there was a lightning storm that passed thru. The thunder was very loud. After the storm passed we went downstairs to hang out at the living space. There was a table game where you try to get 2 small balls thru a maze and into the center. I was only able to get one into the center at a time. Jeremy gave up trying in 15 seconds. 

This morning we woke up around 8am had breakfast before leaving. They had a different type of meat frittata this morning. Yesterday we had the sausage, today was ham and potatoes. They also had blueberry muffins instead of the cranberry from yesterday. We also had very delicious blueberry and banana pancakes today. We packed up and left Darby inn for the ride home at 9:45am. So far we stopped at hannaford supermarkets to pick up blueberry pop and smuttynose beer. Which a day earlier, jeremy declared loudly that he would never buy a beer with the name smutty in it. We also stopped at the gas station twice got Mountain Dew and old fashion donuts. Traffic is pretty bad with lots of stop and go. Got home around 5pm.  

[savviscouts]

Recently, Boyfriend had to go to Romania for work. For six weeks. As soon as I discovered that there was a holiday during his stay, I got the green light from him to meet him in Bucharest for the three day weekend! I did some research on how to spend a weekend in Bucharest. I made a long list of all of the places I wanted to see and things I wanted to do while I was there. Unfortunately, that list included things like seeing Pele’s Castle (home of Vlad the Impaler, aka Dracula) and hiking the most beautiful parts of Transylvania, which, with everything else on my list, would have taken more than a week’s worth of time. I had to cut a lot of stuff.

I really wanted to hike, but the forecast was rain. This would have been fine, except the temperature was supposed to be in the mid-thirties Fahrenheit, like 3 degrees Celsius. Not only would I not be able to get any good pictures from the top of the mountain (where, on a clear day, you could just barely see into Ukraine), but I would also probably get pneumonia and definitely die. I get sick if someone with a cold, 400 meters away from me, sneezes. So hiking was out.

The bad weather, coupled with my sh*t immune system, forced me to stay in Bucharest. While I do need to return to Romania to experience all of the outdoor adventurous activities that Transylvania has to offer, I’m glad that I got a really good feel (and fill- lots of food) of Bucharest!

Bucharest: City of Graffiti

Some people say that Bucharest has character. Others come right out and say that it is an ugly city. Well I think those people are wrong. I think that Bucharest is beautiful in its own way… Let me explain.

Bucharest was built on a swamp, but then the landscape changed. The swamp eventually dried up.  Because of this, there are many areas where the road is uneven, or the steps are sunken in. This is also why many of the older buildings are not very tall- the swamp would have eaten them!

A Brief Recent History of Bucharest

The reign of communistic tyranny ended in 1989, with the fall of the Berlin Wall. (I’m telling you, no matter where I go, I can’t get away from Germany.) During communism, many families would share rooms in small houses. The state owned all of the property, and there wasn’t any new infrastructure.

When the wall fell, bringing communism with it, many of these families all claimed ownership to the places where they were living. Sometimes, they still even had their paperwork from the bill of sale, completed sometime before the state confiscated everything. Many times, multiple families all had paperwork- whether real or fake- to the same properties. The court proceedings to determine the true owners would sometimes take decades. Meanwhile, the houses started to fall apart due to lack of care. This is why you will see buildings that look like a strong wind might take them out, right next to beautiful baroque-style architecture built in the early 90s. Some people say this makes the city ugly, but I say it makes it beautiful.

There are also stray dogs everywhere. They defecate in the streets, with no owner to clean it up. You have to watch your step everywhere. On several occasions my sandal-clad foot just narrowly missed a big pile of poo.

Not only is a large portion of the city literally falling apart, but it also smells.

What to Do During Your Stay

You will probably only be here once, so make sure you don’t miss anything!

Romanian Food to Try

Let me tell you about Romanian food. It’s possible to be a vegetarian in Romania, but it is much more difficult in Romania than it is in other parts of Europe. Romanian food is basically a bunch of dried meats and cheeses. I could stop there without you really missing out on any Romanian cuisine, but I won’t do that to you.

Romanian cuisine is kind of a mix of the flavors of some of the surrounding countries. The food has been influenced by Ottoman, German, Serbian, and Bulgarian cuisines, along with others.

Here are some Romanian dishes for you to try:

Mici. This is the generic name for delicious grilled sausages.

Tobă, or “head cheese”. This cheese is made with meat from the head and then stuffed into the pig’s stomach to cure. It sounds like a gross concept, but it was actually quite tasty.

Polenta. Polenta can be eaten by itself, or as an accompaniment to other dishes. I tried some with cheese and horseradish. It was very good, but very filling.

Caltaboș or chișcǎ. This is a cooked sausage stuffed into pig’s casing.

Pastitsada. This is macaroni with meat.

Sarmale. Cabbage rolls stuffed with minced meats, rice, and other yummy things.

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Local wine? (So they said) It was great though.

Delicious chicken (according to the boyfriend)

Local Beer

A Romanian breakfast

Another Romanian beer

A classic Romanian lunch

A Romanian appetizer sampler

Bonus: Food Hood

If you like food trucks, do yourself a favor and go here. It’s in Old Town. It’s just several food trucks and a bar with open seating. We didn’t find it until our last night, just after eating a large meal. Quite the disappointment. But it’s rated highly on TripAdvisor!

Places to See in Bucharest

I would recommend getting a hop-on hop-off style bus tour of Bucharest if you are interested in seeing all of the sights. This is something I wish had done, but didn’t because of time, rain, and the fact that I was recovering from a bad cold and needed a nap.

The Old Town in Bucharest is pretty small, and has great historical landmarks you don’t want to miss. That said, there are many, many amazing things further out of the city that are also must-sees. You just can’t walk to all of them.

Click here to check out a full list of places you need to see.

Shopping in Bucharest

You can just go into your Google Maps and type in “shopping” to get to the malls. So I’m not going to talk about those (although I did get a great pair of polarized sunglasses with a cool case for less than $20).

What you really need to check out is the local markets. We went as part of a tour with Urban Adventures (see below for details), and I am so glad we did! I would’ve probably never found it on my own.

The market has fresh local fruits and vegetables, as well as homemade goods, meats, and cheeses, all for extremely low prices. You will find an open market with individual stands, as well as an indoor market with stands as well as permanent storefronts (mostly delis and small restaurants). Next door to this is an indoor flea market. It’s completely packed with clothes and purses and jewelry and pretty much anything else you may want.

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It’s right off of the Obor subway stop in northeast Bucharest. Look for Parcul Păsărari and you will find it!

Where to Stay

If you can find a good place, stay in Old Town for sure. I highly recommend our hotel, Old Town Boutique Hotel. It was very nice, had a great little Romanian breakfast buffet (included), and the location was absolutely perfect. It’s in Old Town, but it’s on the back (or front?) of Old Town, so you’re not next to any busy bars or loud music. You can go party, then walk two blocks back to your quiet little hotel to sleep.

Bonus: Tour with a Local

I cannot tell you how great our walking food tour with Lala from Urban Adventures was! Lala was born and raised in Bucharest, but her English was perfect. She gave us the history of Bucharest not just that you get from guidebooks, but that she actually lived. The fall of communism was pretty recent- 1989- and she told us about how it affected her daily life. She also took us around and fed us delicious small plates served with tasty local beer and wines. If you’re headed to Bucharest, I highly recommend! You can check out the different offerings here.

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Me and the bf, enjoying the tour

Beautiful Bucharest building

Beauty bordering poverty

Sistine Chapel. JK! it’s an orthodox church

Local beer

Romanian breakfast

A cafe from our tour

Another local beer

Lunch place by the market

Sausage and beer lunch

Vlad statue

For more information, click here to check out “Places to See in Bucharest”

What to Do in Bucharest, Romania Recently, Boyfriend had to go to Romania for work. For six weeks. As soon as I discovered that there was a holiday during his stay, I got the green light from him to meet him in Bucharest for the three day weekend!