#so I knew she'd be ESFP

[diyaphanous]

{kristine froseth, 28, cis woman, she/her} We are so glad to see you safe, VALET TO THE PRINCE NOEMI VON OLDENBURG of GERMANY ! It’s dangerous out in the world these days, but I hear that you are DAUNTLESS and ARDENT enough to handle it. Just don’t let your PRIDE bring you down ! Stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out ABOUT YOUR FAMILY BEING INVOLVED IN SOME ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES .

name : noemi elisabeth theresia magdalena von oldenburg nicknames : noe , emi birthday : july 23 orientation : bisexual family : duke rudolf von oldenburg, duchess theresia ( formerly princess of lichtenstein ) . older sibling ( WC !!! ), younger sibling ( WC !!! ) character inspo : nina zenik ( six of crows ), nobara kugisaki ( jjk ), jo march ( little women ), daphne sullivan ( the white lotus ) traits : perceptive, social, assertive, erratic, boisterous, abrasive languages : german, french, spanish, danish mbti : esfp temperament : tba moral allignment : chaotic neutral

background

tw mention of emotional abuse, kidnapping , violence

your smile is so bright , you can barely see anything going around you until you see a crack through the light, the only shadow where you can rest in and as you sit down you finally realize you've been blind all the time . noemi's childhood is carefree or at least that is what she tried to make it out to be. now looking back at it , the glittery veil had been lifted and even the treasures and riches her father loved to brag about have lost their shine . she'd abided to many things, tried to pretend they were normal, that things she'd loved were considered to be only temporary that feelings were fleeting and wouldn't last anyway . love was a festering wound , spilling , a reminder ; sometimes forgotten or sometimes felt through pain and she wouldn't touch it. as she became older her father's greed also appeared to grow with her or perhaps it was only then that she was old enough to see it and the ways things didn't seem to add up . it was only when she'd stumbled into a hidden room within her home and met the tortured gaze of a stranger that she'd find out what her father did and had been hiding all those years . he was involved in illicit traits and other dubious activities. sometimes he'd even order kidnappings of important people or travellers such as royal legates or sometimes even nobility itself and use them as a threat. as soon as noe found out about it , she'd decided to turn her back on her family . she'd felt that she couldn't trust anyone anymore and she was afraid of finding out more things she didn't want to know about . however, despite her broken trust she knew that in some twisted ways she still wanted to love them because loving her family was the only form of love she'd ever known. that's why she couldn't completely turn their back on them and instead had made the choice of being a valet .

headcanons

// her mother's side of the family are royalty from the house of liechtenstein . she'd often spend time travelling there and truth to be told she'd always felt she belonged there more than to germany. similarly, the house of oldenburg belongs to one of the most influential noble families and in contrast to her father's hidden suspicious antics is quite beloved by the public. // right now, noe is just feeling lost and is trying to figure out her own feelings but also her future . she's glad she'd found a way to keep a distance from her family, yet she knows that she somehow has to make a decision soon. that's why she's just trying to stay out of any drama . yet, as someone who is naturally curious she also can't help herself but trying to find out the latest gossip and snooping around. // noe is quite flirty by nature which is probably a result of her quite flippant treatment towards love ( platonically and romantically ). she tends to lead people on sometimes unknowingly and if she isn't she thinks people have the same view as her . the thought of being vulnerable towards anyone terrifies her and there are only a handful of people she's truly close to. // she loves writing and has probably dreamed of publishing . yet, she also feels like that someone who comes from a family like hers does not deserve to share the stories of humans, hence she keeps that hobby to herself most of the times . // she also adores animals , however she feels like she's quite bad at handling them. she has a horse called rosine ( translation : raisin ) who is quite mean towards her but she can't help but love . more tba

wanted connections

her siblings : at least one is definitely aware of what their family does. perhaps they're even involved in it and do not understand why noemi distanced herself from her family and tried to find a way immediately out. maybe they are even resentful since she just left with no proper explanation. everything is definitely utp. cousins : the oldenburg family has a lot of branches in other countries so noemi being cousin to someone could somehow work. former friends that might've been driven away by her family / threatened by them once real friends as noe is someone who is very social people she flirts with because does it a lot but with no meaning, additionally someone who thinks noemi has an interest in them and is now confused ( could also be an unrequited love ) love interest ( slow burn / maybe an enemies to lovers or childhood friends to lovers ? ) which would contain a lot of angst as noe would push them away as she's afraid that they might find out about her secret or they might get hurt by her fam ) people who might work or did some (shady ) business with her family people who might know about her family's secret and try to threaten/blackmail her with it

[funkymbtifiction]

Type 3 and playing nice

Is the chameleon nature and ability to play to an audience present in every 3 regardless of MBTI type?

It seems to be, provided there's no high Fi interfering with it -- and even then, an EFP 3 can get away with being charming. I remember seeing Bill Clinton (ESFP 3) on a talk show after that whole Monica Lewinsky thing. I went into it knowing "this guy is a lying a-hole," and ten minutes into the interview was thinking, "What a lovely guy!" He is just so damn likable. My ESTJ 3w2 relative can do the same thing. I know for a fact how obnoxious and controlling he can be at times, because I've crossed him, but if you just interact with him casually or meet him for two hours, you walk away thinking what a nice person he is, and how you have misjudged him, and maybe he's not really a jerk after all. He seems so warm and engaged and interested in you, and like such a decent person.

I don't often spot 3s immediately, but I am pretty sure a woman I met recently is an EFJ 3. She just came into a group, immediately adapted to it, and has made everyone like her, while also being very driven, productive, and proactive ("you don't sit on your hands"). I invited her to a spring tea held at my house because I just knew that she could merge into the group and it would be like she'd been friends with them all for twenty years -- and that's exactly how it went down. Everyone adored her and wants her back at my next tea. It's a gift 3s possess to be likable through image-management and to get a sense of their audience and adjust to meet them (and I am jealous of it).

I noticed that there are many characters who are ExTPs who fit that side of the 3 description, but the ones who aren't (most are TJs as I can remember) seem to not have that polish and are at times typed as 8s. I'm thinking of people like Blair Waldorf and Cheryl Blossom, who even with social instinct are very rude and mean to others and so are unlikable to most characters in their story, though many fans love them.

There are some jerk 3s, yes. But fiction can also play up the "bitch" angle a great deal, and where you come from and what society expects from you is also a factor -- a 3 who has worked themselves up from the gutter of life doesn't start out with the same entitlement attitude as an upper crust high society brat who isn't used to being nice to people. It doesn't mean a high society person can't be a 3 and still be nice to "the help," but if you've had a silver spoon in your mouth your entire life and always gotten whatever you wanted when you demanded it, that fosters an attitude of "epic brat." Power corrupts a 3 the same as it would any other number, and being rich, famous, and popular is a form of power.

And yet... don't we still kinda like Blair and Cheryl for BEING bitchy? Isn't it kinda fun to tune in to see who they insult this week?

There's also some wing involvement happening -- a 3w4 is more elitist than a 3w2, since one has a wing focused on not being one of the banal masses and the other has a wing urging them to 'help' people (from a position of power). 3s can be divisive, though, and no, not all of them are likable. Some people like ESP 3w2 Tony Robbins and others find him obnoxious. It all comes down to personal flavor (and to some degree, if you believe in tritype, fixes; a 3-9 is a lot more likable to your average stranger than the aggressiveness of 3-8).

I'm trying to understand the difference of strategies to be successful I see 3s applying. Some seem to use force, while others social game, so I wanted to now where that comes from.

That is probably purely MBTI related (and again, fixes -- a 3-8 is double assertive and would use force to get what they want; a 3-1 or a 3-9 would not). I think social 3 would be the 3 most able to play a 'game' to get what they want, since they'd know what someone else expects from them and how to leverage that to get ahead in life.

[amai-no-ura]

Burnt Lion-Snake Journal: I

So, before I dive into my journal. I'd love to introduce myself first.

My name is Marcus (it's my English name, since my language is Thai, it's impossible to transcribe my name with Latin alphabet but in IPA it's /tɤj˥˨/ anyway, just call me Mark). I'm a fourth year undergrad currently struggle to get myself out of toxic environment.

It's not always too awful, but lately it has been almost downright hell. My family lives in two separate houses, one with me, my aunt and grandparents, another with my mum and stepfather. The thing is, my house is full of bedridden people.

Two of my grandparents are currently bedridden, one has been bedridden recently, a side effect of operation, and he will likely get better soon. Another person is my grandmother, she has been bedridden for months now. My aunt is almost-crippled. She can walk and do things, but due to spinal injury and loads of chronic medical conditions (diabetes, blood pressure, heart disease, side effects of spinal injury), she can't work and basically has to stay home 24/7.

The thing is, I can't go anywhere too. And I'm stuck here with all of them.

I have to take care of them, even if I loathe doing it. I have to be emotional punching bag for everyone. You, see, in my culture, the youngest person has to be 'filial' and 'grateful' to the elders. But that is just not who I am. I cannot give blind respect to anyone. My grandfather is a loser who cannot accomplish anything in life only to abuse his daughters and cheat on his wife as well as being a miserable gambler. My grandmother is a delusional woman who thinks she is SO important and LOVED by her friends. She orders everyone around, cannot stand a slightest disobedience. And has that odd way of thinking children are parents' obligatory servants (slaves). My aunt is slightly better, but she is still one of the most infuriating, holier-than-thou kind of person ever. My aunt treats every interaction as powerplay and she will do everything to stay on top.

My mother is the worst, by far, she thinks she is the smartest and most misunderstood person in the room. Talking to her is like walking around the eggshell. She is very sensitive and everyone has to agree with her for her to feel safe. She loves organizing everything and assume what is 'best' for everyone (even if it's not).

On a typology note my grandfather is ESTP 9w8, my grandmother ESTJ 3w2, my aunt ESFP 8w9. My mum is ESFJ 3w2. And me ESTJ 1w2.

Now imagine having to take care of all of them while being bombarded by emotional drama 24/7. I can't complain too, because complaining = being irredeemably evil. Asserting my own wants and needs mean I am being selfish. Everything I do will be either criticized or reflected as who I am (E.g. being irredeemable, being a waste of the world). Many times my aunt (who raises me) said she should have murdered me when I was infant if she knew I'd grow up to be 'irredeemable bastard' and 'selfish bitch without empathy'. Then she'd link my sexuality (as slightly effeminate gay) as a problem, linking me to the 'slut, prostituting' stereotype. She said I'm not better than those drug-addicts - trash.

She, the very person who raises me, thought I was a monster.

My grandmother will order me and I either have to cater to her every whim for faces drama. She cannot understand why I wouldn't want to be wiping her shit or kowtowing to her will. She can't understand why I am not being grateful for the opportunity to 'return the favor'. My mum will not stand me asserting myself. Oh, not to mention, she'd never wipe her parent's shit under the pampers, but can't stand if I would feel bad about it.

I have no one by my side. Not a single soul will stand with me. My aunt will never side with me, that's for sure. My own parents thought I was a monster. I can't confide in anyone. My aunt views being emotional or needing support as a weakness (typical 8w9 thing). She will never listen to me, because she will judge me faster than I can ever say anything. Either as 'you are wrong and evil, get the fuck out of my sight' or 'wimpy shithole'). My mum, duh, she will use my words against me later. Friends? I have none. Maybe only one guy I can count as a friend. But while he does support me emotionally, it's my issue and not his. So, it feels wrong to impose upon him.

I am alone in a world where everyone will turn their fangs against me.

I have ambitions. I want to go to Canada and build my own fishing company. Then I will use the resources to support every communities who need it. the ethnic groups who have to fight for their inherent rights, the migrants who are displaced from their war-torn homeland, the people who have no place to return to. The water, the sea, the forest that have been in pain and suffering from our greed. I want to build a place for all of them. I know, deep down, that I have enough capacity to accomplish it. I'm very confident I can find a way to claw my way up and accomplish my dream. But right now, I cannot see a way out.

All I can see is a morning of pampers, shit, medicines, grimy bodies then chores and hospital in the afternoon and a fight in the evening before I sleep. I can't even work on my projects and assignments. I have lost all my drive. The day after tomorrow, I have a big presentation and this Friday I have to hand in my final draft of Thesis. But I still can't muster energy to do a single thing. My mind is blocked. I can't think of the ideas I usually do. I can't muster up energy to do anything.

But you know what is worse? I lost all my ambitions.

Personally, I love fighting and I'm quite good at it, albeit been out of practice for 3 years now. I love the feeling of just me and the opponent. Now, all I can think of is to just quickly graduate and escape this place forever. Maybe living in a rundown apartment, spending my day in illegal fighting rings (which exist in my country, ranging from friendly match to brutal fights in a pit with people gambling). Fight, eat, sleep, fight, eat, sleep. Forgetting all that I used to want. Or maybe wandering about, doing nothing and just live. I cannot see a way out and I can't think of it as well.

I used to be careful and elaborate, so I don't get in trouble (typical Snake). I used to evade and play around problems but now, if anyone challenges me, I'd just do it. I don't have the energy to evade and subvert anymore. Today, my aunt and I had a fight, she threatened to expose my bad behaviors to my mum (in order to make my mum canceled my trip south for thesis fieldwork), normally I'd back off or dance around it. This time I just told her blankly, "go on, do it." So she did, and I was chastised (which is not what my aunt intended). But even if my mum got mad and tried to cancel my trip, I'd go anyway. If she threatened to cut my stipend and study fees (which she almost did many times), I'd just ... let her do it. I will gladly drop out and escape. Because all I can think of now is 'whatever'. It's not me, at all.

Work wise, my thesis adviser can't give me any creative advice at all. My thesis is about Community Planning in Action. So I have to be there, in the ethnic community and facilitate the entire project, alone. I'm hit with pandemic and can't go there. There is nothing he can advise me except 'try your best!' It's not exactly the actual problem, since I can and will worm my way to get things done and perfectly even on my own. But the feeling that no one can and will stand by my side and provide some practical advice. I don't need encouragement, I need reassurance.

And I'm not being arrogant here, too. I just say it as I see it. I literally can't rely on anyone but myself. Emotionally and practically.

And it gets old sometimes.

I'll try to get myself up to do my job. I have two very big assignments, and I doubt having 'troubled and toxic' environment will help me in any way. After all, all I've learned is no one cares about you unless you are 1. useful 2. effective. I'm being ineffective, so any excuse will be met with retribution.

PS. With me gaining like 20 kg of weight in a year of pandemic also doesn't help me be motivated too...