#so I have five unplanned animals out of nine

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

I am playing Minecraft and accidentally adopted two baby turtles and a litter of three all back-to-back

[dumbslxtclub]

you’re on your own kid | e.m

eddie munson x pregnant!reader

summary: set after the events of season four, Steve has disappeared and is presumed dead in the upside down. broken and now left to deal with your pregnancy alone, Eddie takes it upon himself to support you to the best of his abilities in Steve’s absence.

content warnings: fem!reader, adult language, adult themes, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, angst, some canon divergence, mentions of death, reader is 19, slow burn

word count: 1.5K+

↳ one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven

Part One: Blood, Sweat and Tears

Gone. The word echoed through your head like a broken record as you sit motionless against the rusting fridge in your poor excuse for a kitchen. The moment you saw the crew walking back to you, sans Steve, with their heads hung low, you knew. Dustin's eyes met yours, heavy with emotion and you couldn’t contain it. He wasn’t coming back.

The last few hours have been a blur. Robin driving you home, offering to stay the night, pushing aside her own needs post Upside-Down to make sure yours were accommodated first. But all you wanted, needed, right now was to be alone. The second she shut the door to the trailer behind her, the silence filled the space and it all came crashing down.

He’s gone, and he didn’t even know.

From the get-go, you and Steve had never been anything serious. You had started out strictly friends-with-benefits, a name on one another’s rotating rosters. But as the year passed, you began spending time with his circle and cutting out the other men in your life. He introduced you to Robin, who you immediately clicked with and twisted Keith’s arm until he offered you a job at Family Video with the duo. You would accompany him on “babysitting” duties, as Dustin often insisted on your presence to keep Steve in line. Despite the casual nature of your relationship, you and Steve had grown closer by the day. You knew he was still seeing other girls, but that didn’t bother you. After all, that’s all this was meant to be: casual, detached.

And then that fucking test happened.

It started off as a slow Tuesday morning with Robin, the two of you using the front counter of Family Video as your personal breakfast bar. You unwrapped your monstrosity of a meal, a PBJ sandwich with pickles and Hot Cheetos on the side.

“Jesus Christ, did someone hold you hostage and force you to make that?” She gawked at your sandwich, inspecting the leftover half as you shoved the soft white bread into your mouth. You let out a dramatic hum as the salty yet sweet combination hit your tongue, quickly following it with the heat from the Cheetos to ensure maximum taste to texture impact.

“Shit, so good! Don’t knock it until you try it. It’s like sex in your mouth.” You replied, the thick peanut butter coating your teeth and muffling your words. Robin dropped the sandwich down on the counter, clearly not about to partake in your offer to share this morning.

“I’ll take your word for it. I’m happy with my choice, thank you very much.” She proudly unwraps her breakfast muffin. Thick orange American cheese hangs over the lip, nestled between fatty bacon and a sunny-side up egg. You wrinkle your nose in disgust, waving your hand in her direction.

“Oh god, get that away from me! The smell of the egg-” You shake your head, pacing a few steps backwards to get away from the stench of her unappetising breakfast choice. She quirks her brow at you, you can practically see the cogs turning in her brain.

“You love my Buckley McMuffins.”

“Not today, I don’t.” You can feel your stomach churning, and reach for your large cherry slushie, hoping the sugary-sweet drink will quell the storm brewing in your tummy.

Robin’s expression begins to morphe as she studies you intently, like a child fascinated by their favorite animal at the zoo. You, on the other hand, are not so impressed by her gawking.

“What?!” You snap, slightly irritated. Immediately, you feel a wash of guilt come over you, why did you just snap at her like that? “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“You and Steve are using protection, right?” You practically choke on your slushie at the candidness of her question so early in the morning.

“Robin!”

“I don’t need all the details of your sex life. I’m just wondering-”

“Of course we do! God, the last thing I need right now is a kid.” You shake the mere thought out of your head.

“Yeah, no totally. I mean, pregnancy alone is a lot to deal with, y’know, what with all the cravings and hormones making you snappy and irritable-”

“Robin.”

“- not to mention the nausea-”

“I had a bad fish taco last week! And I-”

“-Restlessness, acne, your boobs get massive-”

“Robin! I-” You shake your head at her insinuations. “Wait, do you think my boobs have gotten bigger?”

Her eyes widen as she nods her head. “Um, hello! You’re giving the Elvira cut-out a run for her money. We should take her down and just have you stand in the window.”

Oh, she’s serious. You let out an incredulous laugh.

“Absolutely not, like there’s no way! I mean, Steve and I are careful. Like, most of the time. And I would have noticed by now if something was off? Like, yeah, my period has been a bit all over the shop lately but that’s normal…” Robin squints slightly at you as she watches you subconsciously shift from trying to convince her to trying to convince yourself. The realization begins to wash over you, and you feel the pit of your stomach drop. “Oh, fuck.”

The two of you took an extended lunch break to take a trip to the store, and three tests later, your fears were confirmed. Your head began racing a million miles an hour, and thankfully Robin was happy to cover for you for the rest of the day. How were you going to tell Steve?

And then, suddenly, there was no time. Now, you’ll never have the chance to tell him.

A gutteral sob left your throat before you had the chance to register it, bringing you crashing down to reality. Sitting on the laminate floors of your cramped kitchen, the overhead fluorescent illuminating your shaking legs extended in front of you. Unable and unwilling to hold back your emotions any longer, you opened the floodgates and allowed tears to flow freely down your cheeks. The type of pain where it felt like your heart was being crushed in your chest, diaphragm spasming as it struggled to keep up with the pace of your sobs. You tucked your knees into your chest and hugged them tightly, as if willing to vanish from this world completely. You’re not sure how long you stay there for, time seemingly pausing for your pain. It’s not until you hear a sharp knock at the door that you’re snapped back to reality.

“Go away, Robin.” She really is a wonderful friend, but seeing her in this state is the absolute last thing you need right now.

Another knock.

You throw your head back against the cool surface of the fridge in defeat before getting to your feet. Wiping away the streaks of tears that now stain your puffy and pink cheeks, you make a miniscule effort to pull yourself together as you walk to the door, hoping to make this interaction brief.

“Robin, please, just go home-” You swing open the creaking door, running a hand over your face in exasperation. Instead of being greeted with Robin’s smaller frame, you’re instead confronted with a taller, darker frame. Despite being obscured by the dim night, the mess of hair crowning his head is unmistakable.

“Eddie?” As he takes a step closer to the door, you can now see he’s looking worse for wear, despite having cleaned up post Upside-Down. Fresh cuts mark his face, dirt under his fingernails indicate his attention wasn’t on the details of his appearance.

“Hey.” He quietly mumbles, staring down at his stained Reeboks. “I, um- I just wanted to see how you were going.”

You purse your lips together, trying to keep the floodgates closed until you are back in your bubble of solitude.

“Yeah. I’m- I’m here.” That’s the best you can do right now, here sums it up. You’re still here, unlike Steve…

You scrunch up your face into a forced smile, hoping that will satiate Eddie. He gives a solemn nod, clearing his throat as he contemplates his next words. He shifts his weight uncomfortably, and you can’t help but wonder if someone has sent him here to check up on you. Dustin, perhaps?

“Well, I’ll uh- leave you to it.” He chews nervously on his lower lip, sure to break one of the fresh scabs that has begun to crust over. “But um- y’know if you’re ever not okay or just like, need some help or company or whatever- you know where to find me.”

He gestures to the adjacent trailer, and you give a small but more genuine smile.

“Sure, Eddie. You too, okay?” He gives a nod and a small wave as he turns back to his home, and you close the door behind him.

You lean against the frame and pull up your oversized sweatshirt, pushing the thought of how it once belonged to Steve out of your mind. You peer down at your slightly swollen belly, a barely noticeable bump protruding but undetectable to anyone who was unaware. You take a deep inhale as you run your fingertips against the delicate skin.

It’s nice to know you’ll never be completely alone.

[faustonastring]

How would the boys react to a surprise pregnancy? 👀 Completely unplanned and unintentional but, whoops, now there's a bun in the oven!

Thanks for requesting I hope you enjoy it!

The boys reacting to an unplanned pregnancy

Tw: mentions of abortion, it’s crossed out and not at all in detail or anything, I just want to be safe.

Julian

The man is a doctor. Despite popular belief he is infact smart. And though he may be oblivious to a lot of things, this isn’t one of them. If were being frank this is one of the few things he catches right away, though he feels very awkward asking you about it.

He gives you a very quick kind of half assed check up, just to double check he’s not losing his mind, but when his results come back positive, he takes you to another doctor, to get a second opinion, just too be sure, and when that comes back positive, he doesn’t know how to feel.

On one hand, he’s excited and happy, but on the other hand, are you? You’re the one that has to deliver this thing, and carry it for nine, terrible months, are you ready? Do you want to go through with this? This is your choice not his, he can wait, or even adopt if pregnancy isn’t your thing, just let him know what you want to do.

If you do decide to keep it he’s going to do nightly check ups just to make sure everything is okay, he’s also going to be lecturing you on how to properly care for your baby while it’s inside and it side of the womb, and he’ll also run down what the labor delivery is going to look like when the time gets closer (for your safety Julian is not alowed to deliver your child, sorry)

Muriel

Contrary to popular belief, he is not oblivious. He knows what sex, and periods are, and he knows the basic symptoms of pregnancy. Muriel is an adult. He’s atleast in his late twenties, but when you first start to show symptoms, he’s In denial.

He isn’t sure what’s wrong, but the thought of you being pregnant is floating around his head, and he’s starting to get worried, so he asks you about it, and if you’re not sure? Then he practically begs you too see a doctor, because you’re either really sick or pregnant and let’s be honest both aren’t that good.

He’s nervous when the results come back positive, and immediately asks if you want to keep it, and if I’m being honest, Muriel would much rather you get the vesuvian equivalent of an abortion than put your kid up for adoption, because he knows damn well being an orphan in vesuvia is no fun. But it’s your choice so he’ll support you no matter what. He knows that he doesn’t get a say In what you do with it, but he will very shyly voice his opinion on the matter but let’s you know that this is 100% your choice and not to let his opinion effect it.

But if you do decide to keep it, he’s whittling a crib, baby toys, a play gate, and is baby proofing the hut, no matter how many months are away, and get ready to not move a finger, because Muriel doesn’t want you or your baby getting hurt.

Lucio

Out of the main six he’s the most oblivious. He knows something is wrong, but he can’t quite put a finger on it, and if you figure out you might be pregnant before him (which is most likely what will happen) he laughs about it at first p, thinking you were, ohhh I dunno, joking. But when he finds out your serious he goes into panick mode.

Has three to five diffrent doctors check you out to just confirm that yes you are pregnant, and, yes you and your baby are in excellent health and there is nothing to worry about, and until you either give birth or get an abortion

He is excited that the two of you are having a kid! Yes lucio is getting better with empathy, but he still has a problem with putting him self before others, luckily he does realize that this isn’t just his kid, and immediately asks you what you want to do. And don’t feel bad if you don’t want to have a kid right now, that’s a lot of responsibility, the two of you can just adopt some more animals instead. No worries at all!

But if you do decide you want a kid? Designer everything. It was literally confirmed that lucio decks his kids out in designer clothes and blinged out binkis (via bail fund charity stream) so your kid isn’t going to be born yet and it’s going to have the most expensive shit...just please limit lucio he uh, tends to get a little ahead of hisself

Hopefully this is what you wanted and you liked it! If not lmk and I can fix it! And if you made it this far and you liked what you read you can read my masterlist (which I need to update soon) here!

Next headcanon: Julian becoming real

Request are open, they’re backed up till mid to lat July but still open!

[twh-news]

What is the Multiverse? Five Must-See Alternate Timeline TV Episodes to Watch After ‘Loki’

Look, I get it — multiverse storytelling can be confusing. Marvel’s Loki streaming series is only the latest in a long line of stories that plays fast and loose with the idea of multiple or parallel timelines. Loki follows the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) after he gets involved with the Time Variance Authority, or the TVA, as they try to correct problems in individual timelines. This provides us a chance to see lots of variant Lokis (including our favorite chompy green boy) and opens up opportunities for a lot of zany storytelling that doesn’t necessarily have to impact the primary timeline.

The idea of multiple universes existing at the same time isn’t anything new. Some of the earliest examples date back to Norse mythology, which divided existence into nine worlds. DC Comics first introduced the idea of the DC multiverse in its comics in All Star Comics #3 in 1940, and Marvel later followed suit, starting with their What if? series in the 1970s. While the concept of parallel universes might feel a little daunting to contemplate on your own, these five television episodes will help you understand the magic of the multiverse.

“The Parallel” — The Twilight Zone

When it comes to television that changed the way we think, Rod Serling‘s The Twilight Zone is the forebear of them all. The original series ran from 1959 to 1964 and contained stories from science fiction greats like Ray Bradbury (Farhenheit 451) and  Richard Matheson (I Am Legend). Each episode in the anthology series told a different short story, most with the intent of exploring some political or social allegory.

In 1963’s “The Parallel”, Major Robert Gaines (Steve Forrest) is orbiting earth in his space capsule when he suddenly blacks out and wakes up on Earth with no memory of how he got there. He’s uninjured, but the world he’s arrived in doesn’t quite match the one he left. His daughter suspects he’s someone else, his house suddenly has a white picket fence that his wife swears has always been there, and everyone keeps calling him Colonel, which matches his uniform but not his memories. He’s a little shaken until he comes to the conclusion that he’s in a parallel universe, and then takes steps to get back to his own timeline.

“The Parallel” marks the first instance of multiverse storytelling on TV. It doesn’t do anything particularly groundbreaking and is a middle-of-the-road The Twilight Zone episode, but it’s the first, which means it paved the way for everyone else to tell TV stories about parallel universes and doppelgangers.

“Mirror Mirror”/”Crossover” — Star Trek/Star Trek Deep Space Nine

Did I say doppelgangers? If there’s one franchise that has capitalized on the potential fun of meeting your alternate self, it’s Star Trek. In the “Mirror Mirror” episode of the original series, a teleporter mishap sends Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura to a parallel dimension where everything is reversed. The Federation has become an evil Empire, Kirk is a tyrant, and Spock has a goatee (that’s how you know he’s evil). The episode started several tropes about doppelgangers (including the whole goatee thing), and paved the way for future Star Trek iterations to really go wild with the Mirror Universe.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine explored the Mirror Universe more than any other Star Trek series, with stories taking place there over five different episodes. The first of these, “Crossover,” is the most important and sets the stage for the later mirror episodes. In “Crossover,” Major Kira (Nana Visitor) and Doctor Bashir (Alexander Siddig) have an accident inside of the wormhole near the planet Bajor, sending them to the Mirror Universe. It’s been decades since Kirk and co. crossed over, but things are still pretty backwards in the Mirrorverse. Instead of the Federation, there’s a coalition between the Klingons, Cardassians, and Bajorans. Terrans (a fancy word for Earthlings) have been enslaved. The space station Deep Space Nine is instead a mining operation, run by the alternate Kira, the Intendant.

There are few things in the world as enjoyable as watching Visitor play her double role. The entire cast really gets to go for it with their Mirrorverse personas, and you can tell they’re having a blast. The Mirror Universe in Deep Space Nine gave the actors a chance to explore their characters in new ways, and it provided more insight into their individual pathos. Sure, the Mirrorverse versions were the “evil” versions of themselves, but there were still versions of themselves. Kira is a strong leader with a dry sense of humor, regardless of whether she’s the former Bajoran freedom fighter or the Intendant. “Crossover” set up the following four Deep Space Nine Mirror episodes, including episodes where Captain Sisko (Avery Brooks) must pretend to be his doppelganger and deal with the fact that his dead wife is still very alive in the parallel universe. Some of the episodes are silly fun, and some are a bit more heady, but they all get to explore sides of these characters that we’ve never seen before.

“Remedial Chaos Theory” — Community

The NBC sitcom Community frequently made its own riffs on popular tropes, and it had an utter field day with parallel universes. In the season 3 episode, “Remedial Chaos Theory,” viewers are treated to seeing six different ways the same evening could have played out. The friends, who met in a Spanish study group at their community college, are all celebrating Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) moving into a new apartment. When the pizza arrives, group leader Jeff (Joel McHale) suggests they roll dice to see who has to go get the pizza. Abed, who is sensitive to tropes, points out that Jeff is creating new timelines by introducing chance, and then we get to see each of them play out.

What “Remedial Chaos Theory” does is brilliant. It’s a bottle episode, all set in one location with no visible impact on the overall plot. However, by seeing how the situations change each time a single character is removed from the group dynamic, we’re able to learn so much more about the group as a whole. The episode gives us insight into the characters and their relationships by changing up the formula just a pinch and removing one element. In the Darkest Timeline, which leaves Pierce (Chevy Chase) dead and severely maims the rest of the group, it’s revealed that things fall apart without Troy in the mix. At the end of the episode, the prime timeline continues and it’s Jeff who has to go get the pizza. This ends up being the most positive of the timelines, which means maybe the group is better off without Jeff at all. It’s a great piece of character storytelling and even ends with the Darkest Timeline versions of Troy and Abed making felt goatees for themselves before declaring they are Evil Troy and Evil Abed.

“Rixty Minutes” – Rick and Morty

Community showrunner Dan Harmon clearly has a love for stories involving parallel timelines, so it’s no surprise that he expanded on those ideas in Rick and Morty, the adult animated series he developed with Justin Roiland. Rick and Morty is a kind of Back to the Future for twisted adults; it follows the adventures of alcoholic mad scientist Rick Sanchez (Roiland) and his hapless grandson Morty Smith (also Roiland) as they travel through space and time. In the first season episode “Rixty Minutes,” Rick introduces the entire Smith family to the many parallel timelines that exist. He and Morty watch Interdimensional Cable in the A plot, which gives Roiland a chance for lots of fun improvisational gags, but the B plot is more interesting. In order to enjoy his cable watching, Rick gives Morty’s parents and sister a helmet that will let them see through the eyes of some of their alternate selves.

Jerry (Chris Parnell) finds a version of himself that’s a huge Hollywood player who parties with Johnny Depp. Beth (Sarah Chalke) finds a reality where she’s not a horse surgeon, but a human surgeon, like she always wanted. Their teenage daughter Summer (Spencer Grammar) discovers that she was an unplanned pregnancy and that her parents argued about whether or not to get an abortion. In the parallel universes, she either doesn’t exist or her life is hopelessly boring. This leads to a pretty massive existential crisis, but she’s stopped by Morty, who has already had his fair share of timey-wimey weirdness.

Morty takes Summer upstairs and shows her two dirt mounds in the backyard. He explains that he’s not the Morty from this timeline, and that he and Rick had to come here after things in their timeline got too bad. The Rick and Morty in this timeline had just died, so they slipped in unnoticed. Then, Morty gives Summer a bit of advice that shows he’s beginning to grow up a bit on his madcap adventures.

“Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?” he pleads.

The episode ends with the entire Smith family realizing that dwelling on possible alternate realities will only ever cause problems. It’s a testament to living in the here and now, and is one of the series’ most emotionally resounding moments.

There are dozens of shows with multiverse stories out there, from ’90s sci-fi staple Sliders to the later seasons of Supernatural. These five, however, helped expand upon the trope as a whole, and are worth checking out to improve your pop culture savvy. That, and they’re just a lot of fun.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Loving the sailors while hating the beach (White Demon’s Love Song, Part 3.)

Series description: A new job was what the reason you found yourself on a lonely roadtrip on the western coast, ending up in the woods of Olympian Peninsula. Yet a sudden car malfuction was what cause your unplanned stay in Forks. To your surprise, there was a lot of sinister things going on under the veil of fog.

Part summary: As you spent another day with the mysterious man who invited you to stay at his place as a sign of his selflessness, you started to notice that Forks really is a strange town. And on top of that, that Jacob might be hiding something.

A/N: NCIS Forks be strong in this chaper, oh boy. 

Tagging: @missdictatorme​

Word count: 4.2 K

Twilight playlist: ✨ Twilight Crackheads ✨

Series masterlist: H E R E

The night fell on Forks slowly, almost as if it was lurking around for some time before covering the streets. For some time, you've been sitting in a super-small cubbyhole named the 'Administrative office'. Administrative up your ass, you barely didn't knock off the brooms you've been sharing the room with. It shouldn't surprise you that you were falling asleep while writing small numbers into the boxes. You've also picked up a few phones - for such a small town, there was a lot of cars just suddenly breaking down. But Jacob sometimes even took small jobs around in the smaller towns around forks - like La Push, Beaver, and Sappho.

It wasn't even nine hours when you were snoozing with your head in your palm because you've simply fallen asleep. Also, it was weird to see Jacob walking around the whole building, checking on the heating - as if he wasn't turning the heating on in such cold. It was summer and the city was still cold as hell. And this mechanic wasn't turning on his heating system? What kind of crazy he was? The man has woken you up after ten minutes, sending you to bed - yet you didn't know that he didn't walk to bed that night. As soon as he heard snoring coming out of the visitor's bedroom, Jacob made sure the door to the small flat were locked before he ran into the woods. It was time to check with the other guys - Jared and Paul, two of his friends from Sam Uley's spent their whole day on the northern route, trying to find out something more about the unwanted visitors of Forks.

At first, the werewolves weren't entirely sure if there was any vampires close at the moment. If it wasn't just some... Re-awakening of the spirit animals. That was until two days ago - now, the whole packs have transformed once again. Every night Jacob had turned into a wolf, he growled sadly when he realized there was someone he hadn't heard before - first, it was Quil alone. The man was confused, as most of them. Both of them were praying for Quil to be the last. But he wasn't - Embry and Seth coming right the night after Quil's turning. Leah was the last to join. In the meantime, Sam's pack turned at once as well. It was just like five years ago.

'Welcome back to the game, chief.' - Seth's happy and joyful voice started to talk inside Jacob's head. As he was getting closer to the manger of the Calawah river, he could hear two other wolves joining him. It was Embry and Seth - rest of the pack got their tasks the last night and went on a watch and tracking the vampire pack. Jake could hear most of the things Quil and Leah told them. - 'We know they are here. We captured the smell...' - The leader mumbled to Seth, running along the river. They weren't sprinting because there wasn't a reason to do so. Quil nor Leah hadn't smelled the rotten tomato stench the whole day, as if the vampires had suddenly disappeared into the thin air.

'Don’t worry, Jake. We'll take all of them down.' - Embry answered from the other side. Dear Lord, Jacob almost didn't notice that Embry is there, even if he knew that he's coming. He could be so quiet at times. - 'I'm silent like death, yeah, suit yourself.' - Embry answered Jake's flow of thoughts, making a few pampering sounds. This was how the wolves were laughing. To some, it could sound almost horrifying, but it made Jacob giggle as well. Giggling, when the boys were in their animal forms was a wild combination of growling and strange throat sounds. - 'Yeah, but admit, it's strange. No stench, no track, we can't find them. It's like playing blind man's buff.'

The vampires seemed to be poking around in the woods as if they were trying to find a blind spot. Maybe they already did find some. But Charlie, when Jacob was calling him earlier, didn't report any missing person. Yet all of them were sure that as soon as the vampires find the smallest cranny in the defense, it will go down. As soon as they smell a chance, it will go down. At last, this half of the pack was on the meeting point. Sam was already sitting there, watching Jacob approaching the estuary of the Bogachiel and Quillayute rivers. - 'Keep it down for a moment, alright, boys?' - Jacob asked Embry and Seth, who were waiting in a respectful distance. Embry was almost always quiet and Seth, even though there was a huge grin on his face, knew better than talking to alphas communicating. - 'I have news from Quil and Leah. They were walking the trail up at Calawah. What about your people?' - There was no greeting needed - the russet wolf simply shook his head at the bigger, black one. - 'Nothing. It's like searching for a ghost.'

Jacob had to say, that even if he wasn't in Sam's pack anymore, he liked that Sam kept it simple - no matter what happened, Sam never gave anyone too complex orders. - 'Nothing on our part of the territory as well. We will be trying to search through the North, there's lesser of us. Would your pack take the South?' - Jacob planned on trying to search through the whole Northern region, up to the Ozette Lake. There was a lot of tricky canyons smaller rivers, pounds and the vegetation was thick there as well. There was a suspicion that maybe, this time, this group of vampires was hiding next to a water source. He already had experience with the leeches hiding in the sea, why wouldn't they bivouac in a lake? - 'Sure. I'll send Jared and Brady to Hoh Ox, Lucas, and I will go a bit western closer to Oil city. We'll gather here in the morning and give all the information to Seth so he can tell everything to the morning patrol, okay?' - Without answering the question, Jacob and the rest of his small pack got up, running through the ice-cold waters of the river.

Most of the night, it was quiet and calm - sometimes, when the silence was too long, Seth started to throw in some jokes. Most of them were pretty cringe, but some made Jacob snicker under his breath. It was almost time to regroup and set to the meeting point when the whole pack felt it through Embry's eyes. The fur on the back of his neck stood up, his whole body tensed, and growls unintentionally escaped through his tests. Just as he saw a woman standing on top of one huge cliff, looking down on him, the pack tried to get to Embry's position as soon as possible.

The animal wasn't holding anything back - as soon as it saw the woman, it sprang forward to kill her. But she just leaned her head to her shoulder, furrowing at the sight. It appeared as if she wasn't even taken away by seeing such a huge wolf. Based on the stench, she realized this wasn't just some wolf, but she hadn't even flinched. - 'Embry, don't!' - Jacob cried out just when Embry made his way onto the cliff, trying to take the cold woman down. Yet just when the wolf almost caught her ankle in his mouth, she jumped down while still studying every move the animal made.

She wasn't supposed to attack, no. Her posture was strictly curious, careful - the woman might tease them a bit, see how they react, but she surely wasn't about to strike back. She was a scout, sent there by her pack to study the animals. Sam's pack might've encountered another one. - 'Back off, Embry. She's just playing with you!' - Seth, who realized it as well, called out. - 'He's right. wait for us and then we'll try to chase her down!' - Jacob yelled at his friend and jumped onto the lake's beach, circling at the woman's back. It didn't take too long until Seth slowly walked out of the woods on the other side. The woman was quietly scanning all of them and Jacob's size certainly did surprise her. Embry was huge - but Jacob was even bigger.

'We won't catch her, no matter what we do. She isn't going to attack.' - Seth realized and started analyzing her back. At this, the woman smiled and started to lean her head just like Seth was. The pack was still closing on her, but as soon as she would feel threatened she'll simply run away. - "Interesting." - She mumbled and closed her eyelids a bit. - "We don't wanna hurt you. We won't be attacking you or your packs - we just want free access to the city, that's it." - The woman cried out. A terrifying grin appeared on her face for a second as the thought she might succeed. The deep growling came from everyone's mouth at the same time, giving her exactly the answer she needed. - "So you have chosen death. I'll tell it to the others." - And with that, she disappeared. As if she wasn't there, as if she just disappeared into the thin air. The wolves watched each other. The scent didn't lead them too far into the woods, it was as if the woman was just a dream.

Forks, 9:00 a.m.:

You were sleeping in the bed, safe and sound. Your mouth tasted disgusting, and you had a slight headache - you didn't even want to see your damn hair. Even if you knew it was just a lie, the room felt too warm for a moment. For the first time during your road trip, you weren't feeling cold. Lazily, you searched for your phone and read through the news and such. Then your eyes flought to the clock - oh Lord, Jacob had to open the workshop already, hadn't he? And there you were, laying in the bed, covered in a thick blanket.

Never in your life before, you had dressed as quick as you did that morning. Just when you wanted to run into the bathroom, as you opened door to your room, you heard snoring shaking every piece of pottery. With a straight face, you looked at its source - it was the man himself, somehow puzzled on his small sofa - his hands and one of his leg were laying on the ground, his hair was way messier than yours and also, the blanket was too small for someone like him. Jesus, he must've come back so late, you didn't even want to stop yourself.

As you were tiptoeing around the sofa, you noticed something - his feet. They were covered in soil and needles as if he was walking around in the woods barefooted. What was he doing late, in the woods, and barefooted? Was he searching the best location for a grave? Was he checking out his secret killer case hidden in the woods? With risen eyebrows, you locked yourself in the bathroom. At first, you thought he was just working late. That was it. But the soil on his feet made you insecure. Quickly, you brushed your teeth, combed your hair, and sneaked out of the flat. For a moment, you were thinking about walking to talk to Charlie.

While standing in front of the back door, you were biting on your lower lip and tried to figure out what to do. But in the end, you closed the door again and walked to the 'Administration office' to work on another part of the messy paperwork. Dear Lord, Jacob was bad with bureaucracy. In this, he was honest with you. Sometimes, you couldn't even read what was written down on the paper - so you were re-writing the text and sums on a fresh document while lamenting about his messy handwriting. Jacob came in barely half an hour after you. Yet the man was so quiet he almost gave you a heart attack as he stood in the cubbyhole's doorframe. - "Morning to you too." - The man grinned at you when you finally realized he's standing there and yelled out loud for the God's sake. - "Am I looking that bad?" - The man looked all over his body to see if there was something wrong. He was now looking way better than when you saw him laying on the sofa.

His hair was put into a man bun once more, he changed his clothes and presumably took a quick shower. You didnt know what was hiding under these socks. - "I just... Didn't hear you coming. I was really into reading your 'Volkswagen repair... Re-hair..'. Fuck, I can't read it." - With that, you sighed and tried to figure out the hieroglyphs once again. Jacob grinned at your attempts and drank a sip out of his mug of coffee. Silently, you looked him in the eyes - there were deep, black circles. Well, you weren't surprised. Sleeping on that sofa must've messed with him. Yet even the color in his face seemed to be fading away. - "Man, you have coffee?" - You cried out instead of asking him weird, personal questions. - "Uh, I don't wanna break it down to you... But most people have coffee at home or at work. You want some?"

And he brought you the promised cup - along with a slice of apple pie from Mrs. Peterson. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Jacob was working on his cars, humming most of the songs playing on the radio, while you finished the first few months of that year's paperwork. With an overly concentrated face, you categorized the papers into files, thoroughly writing the months they've containing. That was it for the most part.

Sometimes, when your ass started to hurt, you walked around the workshop, and once, you were so courageous that you took your jacket and walked into the freezing Forks. You never walked too far - but dear Lord, wasn't it cold? The mist wasn't supposed to come out of your mouth in August. It couldn't be more than 46 degrees outside, Jesus Christ. And Tacoma was even more on the North.

You've discovered a few peculiarities on your way. There was a real good looking steak restaurant, a library, and a local high school... Which didn't look like high school at all, in your opinion. For the locals, it was clear as a day you weren't from Forks - mainly because anyone who was from the North wouldn't be shaking because they felt cold. The more courageous ones even stopped you, mostly the older women living in the town just so they could brag about talking to the new girl in town. However, they were respectful and nice, always laughing at your attempts to joke.

"Huh. I was thinking about searching for you. I thought you might've frozen somewhere." - Jacob hummed from under the car he was working on at the moment. It looked like an old minivan. Oh, you'd like seeing me freezing somewhere, might as well get your goal easier, huh? You thought to yourself. You also noticed that the radio was playing the Sea Wolf song (which you've heard at least ten times since you arrived at Forks) and that Jacob knew every word of the song. Well, he couldn't be considered a singer, yet this was slightly against your care of this huge man being a killer. What killer would be singing a love song so blatantly? - "I just met some lady named Karen Newton? She was nice, but I couldn't get out of the conversation, dear Lord." - "Oh, old Mrs. Newton? She's super nosy. What was she asking you about?" - Suddenly, his face appeared from under the car as he was searching for his rug. - "The basics, I guess. Why I'm here, what's my name, how old I am... She seemed very happy when I told her how old I am." - Throughout the small talk, you've taken off your jacket and sat on the 'Administration office's' chair while looking at Jacob drinking a whole cup of super hot coffee. His eating and drinking habits were making you a bit uneasy, but whatever.

"Dear Lord. I'll tell you why is that." - The man sat on his small chair as well, looking back at you. - "She has a son named Mike. And she's trying to find him a girlfriend... Again. Do expect the boy suddenly appearing here soon." - Oh. Okay. So she wasn't just nice... She was trying to figure out if you're good enough for her son. Mrs. Newton didn't seem to be thrilled by your career choice, but her eyes started to shine when you answered her question about having a partner. - 'No, I'm single.' - You told her. That was a misstep. - "But, worry not, even though he's not on my list of favorite people, most people say he's a nice guy." - "Unbelievable!" - A squeal came out of you as you started to laugh from the bottom of your belly. - "I'm here one day and you already think about who I should date. Oh God, that's why I don't like small towns!"

Jacob smiled into his mug. He hadn't seen someone laugh so hard for a long time - and honestly, it was nice to take some time off the vampire-hunting thing to think about stupidities like dating and such. - "I just think that two weeks is a lot of time. This seems like fun." - The man mumbled and climbed back on his small assembly bed. You couldn't understand how the thing could be still standing on its small wheels under his weight, but you weren't wrapping your brain around it too much. - "I also saw a pretty dope steak house like... Five minutes from here." - Okay, this was interesting. His head appeared from below the car once again. - "Do I look like I'm looking for someone to date? No, thank you." - With that, he disappeared again, leaving you to sit there with a subdued expression.

This was straightaway rude. There was the cold, annoyed man once more. And yes, it almost ruined your day. Jacob just flipped at least by 180° in front of you, showing you the fed up man once again. It was the mysterious Bella, wasn't it? Also, who was asking him out on a date? There was a cool-looking restaurant near the workshop and you didn't want to cook all the damn time. Dear Lord, you were in the temptation to spit something about split personality disorder, but you just sipped your coffee to keep your mouth shut. - "All I'm saying is that instead of sitting there the whole time and cooking all the time, we might at least consider take out." - Well, you were firing in the same tone as he was. Under the car, he muttered out a few curse words. The man realized he might go too harsh after you.

It was just... It sounded like a date proposition, to be honest. And there was a lot of going on for Jacob at the moment - the stress of shifting again, a vampire hunt... And to be honest, he still didn't get over what happened with Bella - so even though you didn't have any idea about who the hell she was, you were right in this. - "Sure. Take out sounds good." - Jacob told you when you were sitting in your cubbyhole once again, continuing to do your job.

The rest of the day was more or less quiet and calm - Jacob finished the minivan and started to poke around with your Beetle, at least until an old man came for the car. As you got to know when he introduced himself, this was Mr. Newton and Karen's husband. When he realized who you were, he started to apologize for his wife and the bunch of super-weird and awkward questions. He promised you that in any case, his son won't be asking you out just because Karen liked you. No way in hell.

It was that evening when Jacob finished half of the first step with your car - he cleaned most of the inside, mainly around the engine, and started to make a specific list. Said list was meaningless to you since you didn't know jack shit about cars. But Jacob seemed to know what he was doing, so you just continued with doing what you were doing. When the Sea Wolf were playing for the seventh time, that day alone, you were already sure about every word in the chorus. You were singing it along with Jacob.

When it got late, it was time for you to perform a subtle observation of Jacob's behavior. Around the same time as the previous evening, you pretended that you're sleepy as hell - and told him you're going to bed. And since you got to the bed, after a proper hot shower, it was the waiting game from that point on. You've been pretending that you're sleeping and you did so for such a long time that you almost fell asleep for real. But creaking of the floor made you aware that he ended his work in the shop. For a moment, it seemed that he's listening if you're sleeping. After a few pretty convincing snores, you've heard the door creaking again and the door to the small flat locking. With your breath hitched, you tiptoed to the window, leaned your thighs into the warm hearing, and looked from the window - you've heard him locking the garage, so the only possible exit was right under your window.

And he soon came out - he was half-naked, dressed in some torn pants, barefoot again, looking around as if he was making sure that there's no-one who would be watching him. There was a small moment where your breath hitched completely. What in the world was Jacob doing there, without a t-shirt when it was still just 46 degrees there? Quickly, he ran to the woods - and he didn't come out for the whole half an hour you've been looking at the exact spot where he disappeared.

Your throat got swollen as you climbed under the blanket again. Sure, you had the suspicion he might hurt you at some point, but you knew that the fear is irrational for the most part. You've been just freaked out by large dudes since... That happened. This was making you feel very uneasy and unsafe. Who would disappear in the woods dressed like that when it was so damn cold? How long was he just walking around? Or what was he doing in there?

Could he be a killer of sorts? Was this man dangerous? Did he hurt someone before? Bullocks, you stopped yourself. Charlie seemed to be fond of the man. And he was the crown cop of Forks. No way in hell police chief would be in on this as well... Or would he? The terror was making your sleep very bad. You were waking up every half an hour because you had pretty vivid, intense nightmares.

It was at around three in the morning, you've been up for some time, when you heard Jacob walking into the flat, locking the door behind him. He was... Limbing? It sounded as if he had trouble walking straight - he knocked something over on his way to the sofa. When he crashed there, a loud sound made you aware he did so, you heard him whine for a while before he got up again - presumably to put some clothes on. Then, after some time, you heard his body falling onto the small sofa once more. With closed eyes, you've been listening to the whole process and the silence after. After another hour of laying in the bed, not letting out a single sound, you carefully got up. Deep snoring was residing through the few rooms Jacob had in his flat. You've opened up the door carefully, making sure it won't creak and stuck your head out. With a furrow, your gaze scanned the sleeping man.

Again, his hair was let down, the blanket was too small for him and his whole feet were covered in the soil. Did he think you won't notice? As you closed the door, you sighed against your will. There has been something going on in Forks - and Jacob was heavily involved in this. You decided to observe him for at least two days, to make sure he does this regularly and then... What will you do then? As you laid under the blanket again, your legs got cold and you finally realized what you had to do.

You had to follow him and see what was going on.

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Goodnight, Aaron (Aaron Hotchner x Reader) Chapter 3

Summary: Day 2 of the trial, a Sunday where Jack is allowed to choose his own adventure with Sebastian along for the ride.

AN: I hope you are all taking care of yourselves <3 and that tomorrow is kind to you.

Tagging: @sunlight-moonrise, @clean-bands-dirty-stories, @genevievedarcygranger, and @davidrossi-ismydad

Chapter 2 // Masterlist // AO3 Link // Chapter 4

“Morning, Jack,” Sebastian greeted the soporific Jack Hotchner as he entered the kitchen. Jack mumbled back and climbed into his place at the table. Sebastian set the place, poured his cereal, got his juice out as well, before joining him in breakfast.

They ate in quietude, that is until Sebastian’s phone buzzed with a text.

Once he’d read it, he held the phone out to Jack across the table, “Hey, do you wanna talk to your Dad? He’s free to call you quick if you want.”

A bolt of energy shot through Jack and he clutched the phone tightly.

There was Sebastian’s watchful eye remaining on Jack while he was clearing up the dirty dishes. Jack knuckled one of his eyes every now and again, but there was no doubt that he was beyond excited to speak to Hotch. His legs swung under the table.

“I love you, Daddy,” Jack said before he passed the phone back over, but Hotch had already hung up. Pocketing it, Sebastian finished up his breakfast with Jack officially cheered up – for now at least.

“I was thinking we could go out somewhere, treat ourselves.”

“The zoo!” Jack crowed immediately

“The zoo?”

“I haven’t been for ages and ages!”

“Well, I shall see if that’s possible while you go brush your teeth.”

Completely unplanned, Jack was dressed in a green polo that matched Sebastian’s shirt. Not the pattern but they were the exact same shade.

“My mum used to dress me and my sister up in similar outfits when we were kids,” Sebastian said as he was tying up his laces.

“Sometimes, Henry and me wear the same things,” Jack replied, double knotting his shoes up. A wise move.

“Who’s Henry?”

“My friend, his Mommy works with Daddy.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

The drive over had a much more confident sing-a-long. Sebastian played the same CD (but just the songs that Jack liked) and Jack was starting to pick up on some of the lyrics. Or at least what they sounded like. He was currently favouring that of Sara Bareilles. So much so that, after they circled the car park of the zoo and found a space, they finished the song before turning the engine off

As they were lining up to buy the tickets, Sebastian bent over and whispered to Jack, “I know you’d much rather have your dad here instead of me.”

“I don’t mind you,” was the reply, and a shrug to boot.

“I don’t mind you either, kid.”

And the second they entered the park, map in hand, Jack was grabbing at Sebastian, pulling him along, “Come on, I wanna see the elephants!”

The pair did pause to glance in the direction of the other animals, give them their moment of glory. But their focus and their hearts were set on finding the biggest land mammal, past the bug house and the birds, along to where the wider paddocks were situated.

Across a wooden bridge, they finally landed at the edge of a wooden barrier, about five feet from a ha-ha wall that wrapped around the elephants’ land. Jack stood on his tiptoes, his chin on the wooden slat.

Already knowing the answer to his questions, Sebastian said, “Can you see alright? Or do you wanna go on my shoulders?”

Jack fidgeted, scuffing his shoes on the dirt path, “Yes please.”

And he raised his arms over his head. Sebastian ducked down and lifted Jack over his head with some difficulty. He didn’t tell Jack that though.

“Now, don’t go farting on me, young man,” He patted Jack’s leg.

“Thank you, Seb.”

From his elevated position, Jack cheered up. He made sure not to hit Sebastian when his legs stretched out in excitement at the baby elephant trotting about the enclosure. He waved to the baby elephant who waved their trunk clumsily back at the crowds, eliciting a series of “awws”.

“Baby elephants stay with their mothers for their whole life,” Sebastian read off the plaque, “And these ones are from India. That’s where my mum’s from!”

“Is that why you sound like that?”

“Like what?”

“All funny,” and Jack flapped his hand about.

“Nah, that’s my dad’s fault. From the exotic land of Bolton.”

“Is there any animals from there here?”

“Probably not, bud.”

“That one’s the Mommy,” Jack pointed out the elephant the wee baby was now showing off to. He laughed loudly when another baby elephant submerged its whole head into the artificial watering hole for a drink, “It’s still learning!”

A gentle meander took them all the way back to the café, once again ignoring the other animals. They were thinking with their stomach.

Upon arriving at their destination, Jack went for the classic fish, chips, and peas. Sebastian had made a New Year’s resolution to not order something just to get the chips on the side, so he went for the lasagne and broccoli.

“I used to call them ‘baby trees’, made me feel like a giant.”

“What about peas?” Jack scooped several of the vegetable up onto his fork.

“They’re boulders, the kind that roll all the way down mashed potato mountains.”

“I don’t have any mashed potatoes though.”

“Maybe next time. Eat your boulders.”

Third time lucky, the other animals were given Jack’s attention. His second favourite after the elephants? The meerkats. There was a bubble at the centre with a tunnel underneath the desert-like paddock that he could go into and poke his head up. He waved and shouted (albeit muffled by the thick glass) at Sebastian, who waved back and took some photos. Back around by Sebastian’s side of the wall, Jack would hold the meerkats’ attention with a clementine segment pinched in his finger and lure them around the wall’s edge. Then he would eat the fruit.

Sebastian preferred the otters, slipping and sliding down the stream. His laugh trilled with the kids that watched the otters cawing at each other. Chattering between their little whines, they wriggled around in the pool.

Just as Jack was adding to his birthday list every other item in the gift shop. Sebastian’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

About to fly back to Virginia, will be in around nine.

All good our end, hope it’s good with yours too

And Sebastian sent his reply with the photo of Jack hypnotising the meerkats with the promise of citrus fruit.

Jack was very clearly worn out from the day but still had enough energy to tap his toes along during the drive back. The news that Hotch would be home that evening was what got Jack through until dinner time. Sat on the countertop, he watched TV placidly, while Sebastian got on with the tuna pasta. He did get to pour the sweetcorn in, a proper little chef.

“Thoughts?” Sebastian asked when Jack chewed through half his plate, apparently without breathing.

“It’s nice,” Jack said, his mouth half full, “I like the chips.”

The crushed salted crisps sprinkled on top were just a bonus that Sebastian’s dad had introduced to the world. His best invention by far, besides his two kids of course. And Jack ate it all up with gusto.

As the dishwasher was being loaded, out of nowhere, the front door unlocked and not even halfway open before Jack was up on his feet and shouting, “Daddy!”

He sprinted full force and was caught in his father’s arms just as Hotch stepped into the flat. Hotch, despite seeming very worn out, cradled his son like he was a newborn.

“Hey buddy,” He whispered into Jack’s hair, “How have you been?”

Jack’s reply was muffled in his suit jacket, “Good!”

“How was your time with Sebastian?”

“We went to the zoo!”

Sebastian caught Hotch’s gaze over Jack’s shoulder, and immediately Sebastian busied himself with clearing the table, “Lucky you caught him on his way to bed.”

“Come on,” Hotch patted Jack’s back, “Let’s get you off to sleep.”

He carried Jack off to his bedroom, leaving his briefcase at the door. Sebastian watched them go with a half-smile. One that disappeared when it turned to the chores at hand.

First things first, he placed Hotch’s dinner onto a plate and placed it in the oven, still warm from the initial cooking. Of course, he didn’t put the salad in the oven. He wasn’t an idiot. Then it was putting the leftovers in the fridge, scrubbing at the dishes and cutlery, cleaning down the table, sweeping up the stuff. Somehow he was always more productive when the repercussions were next to instantaneous.

“Did Jack go down OK?” Sebastian asked once Hotch had returned to the kitchen.

“Yes, he’s quite worn out from your trip.”

“How was the case?”

The question was offered with a levity that Hotch understood as merely checking in, not an attempt to mine the grisly details from his mind. That much was clear when Hotch set his gun down on the table and Sebastian tensed before moving around and away from it. Hotch then picked it back up and deposited it in a drawer.

“It was fine, glad it was over quick. Is that my dinner?” Hotch opened the oven, standing clear of the hot air that escaped from it.

Nodding, Sebastian passed the dying up cloth between his two hands, “Yeah, plus salad, crisps – sorry, ‘chips’ - for the top.” He corrected himself only because Hotch’s eyebrows knitted at his choice of words.

“You put chips on top of your pasta?” He said slowly.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

Looking unconvinced, Hotch closed the oven again, “How did you find your time with Jack?”

“He’s a good kid, we had fun today. Plus, he didn’t kick up a fuss eating his five-a-day which is a bonus,” Sebastian twisted the dish cloth around, “You’ve done a good job raising him.”

Hotch nodded with what Sebastian was saying, and while his face stayed neutral, his eyes held a glint.

“Then you wouldn’t have any objections to becoming his nanny full time, would you?”

Offer sank in and Sebastian’s face broke out into a toothy grin, “Yeah? Even with the crisp-chips?”

Hotch’s shoulders dropped about half an inch of tension, “Do you have your documents with you? We can get the paperwork done tonight.”

A little undainty on his feet, Sebastian went to his room and grabbed his folder of his important paperwork that was still in his unpacked suitcase. He tried to keep his clothes neat now that they were out on the carpet.

“Can I get you a drink?” Hotch asked, already pouring himself a scotch. He had served his dinner while Sebastian was out of the room. He’d even sprinkled a few chips on top like Sebastian had suggested.

“I’m good with water, thanks,” and Sebastian sat opposite Hotch’s place at the table.

“You don’t mind if I eat while we do this? I haven’t since lunch time.”

“Go ahead.”

Sebastian waited until he was a few forkfuls into his meal before speaking again, “Thoughts on the chips?”

He had to severely mute his reaction as he watched the corner of Hotch’s mouth quirk up and stay there, “Surprisingly good.”

With glee, Sebastian snapped his fingers, “Success!”

Once settled, Hotch and Sebastian discussed fees, records, emergency contacts. A copy of the background check Hotch had already completed sat atop the contract. Hotch let Sebastian read through to his leisure while he polished off his dinner. By the time his plate was cleared, Sebastian’s signature had been scribbled alongside Hotch’s on the few dotted lines that concluded the sheets of paper.

“You’re officially hired,” Hotch slid a pair of newly cut keys across the table. When Sebastian pocketed them, he held up his tumbler.

“To having a job,” Sebastian clinked his glass against Hotch’s and took a sip, “Thank you. Forgot to send you this yesterday by the way.”

And he sent the photos off to Hotch’s number. Not a moment later, Hotch’s phone beeped and he picked it up, his thumb swiping over the photos. To fill the quiet, Sebastian asked, “Do you have a preference on what I can send you and when while you’re away? I don’t wanna bother you too much while you’re working.” His rambling faded as he watched Hotch’s face soften.

“Send me photos whenever you can.” Hotch’s voice had melted too, warming Sebastian’s already soporific heart.

Sebastian stifled a yawn before swallowing, “And I think that’s the end of my day approaching. Goodnight, Aaron.”

“One more thing,” Hotch slipped his phone into his breast pocket, “Why did you move over here, Sebastian?”

“I had a pen pal over here, we met on holiday when we were kids, and I wanted to move away from home. So I got a Visa and moved in with her.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Satisfied, Hotch began to clear up his plate, “Goodnight, Sebastian.”

Sebastian went to say goodnight but, remembering he’d already said that, he just left for his bedroom.

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Two

~sweet lotus~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, jisung/minho

warning: mentions of alcohol I guess...

words: 5k ish

summary: Jisung gets side tracked and ends up following Minho into a host club/bar. That's it really :)

a/n: I’m cross posting this on ao3 but don't know how links work so I hope you enjoy if you do happen to stumble upon this. <3

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Jisung’s been busy. Well, kind of. 

Jisung, along with the other two sleep deprived zombies that make up 3racha, have once again barricaded themselves in their shared apartment. The trio has been working nonstop to prepare for their next performance. Their recently hired manager, Sana, had notified them that the venue that they were playing was actually twice as large as their last. The boys had been trying to flesh out a few new songs/covers to play and hopefully win over the crowd.

Busy wouldn’t really describe the boys. Yes, they were working hard producing more and more, but the lulls of writer’s block and exhaustion would set in eventually. Each time would leave them to fend for themselves by staring mindlessly at the ceiling, or collapsing into an unplanned 4 hour nap, or just plain gorging themselves on the various carry outs of the day. 

Changbin, who surprisingly was able to work remotely for his producing job at JJP Ent., was juggling his work for them and his work for 3racha. Bin would sneak out of his studio/bedroom whenever the lull in creativity set in, or the anticipation of their Friday night show started creeping up on him. Almost every time this led to Chan or Jisung playing some of what they were working on and then the realization that the third rapper had joined them, neglecting his paid work, would set in commencing the throwing of shoes and a chorus of animated yells from all parties to arise. One way or another, always returning a reluctant Changbin back to his, as Jisung put it, “big boy work” and the other two back to their respective laptops and keyboards. 

Chan was probably the most focused of the three. His ability to juggle multiple projects at the same time was practically god-like and occasionally left the other two producers completely clueless as to which project he was actually working on. When the exhaustion had finally caught up with him, Chan could be found by the other boys asleep sitting in front of his laptop. Changbin and Jisung had worked out a little system to keep the older in check, taking turns moving an unconscious Bang Chan to the couch and making sure he had eaten before returning to their own assignments. The leader would wake up a few hours later feeling confused, but thankful for the other two's efforts to keep him on his feet. 

Jisung, the ever all-rounder of the group, usually was the one busy writing, composing, producing, and doing anything he could get his hands on. But this time, the main reason Jisung never quite felt busy was because no matter how hard he tried, sometimes he just couldn't quite find the words for his verses. The new addition to their set list actually didn't take much time to make, production wise, but writing his verse always turns out to be a challenge when the writer’s block sets in. Even with days straight of thinking about what he wanted to say on his part, no progress meant no work had been done, which to Jisung meant he had not been busy. It was a slippery slope that all of them had experienced before, but this time Jisung’s descent down that slope came in the form of trashing pages of lyrics and stanzas immediately after spending hours on them, and distracting himself in piles of blankets while scrolling forums, SNS, and internet videos for inspiration. From which the cycle continued. The concept of just freestyling it completely on Friday was starting to sound better and better.

Sana would occasionally come by (daily? None of them really knew what day it was, only that it wasn’t Friday yet), opening up the black-out curtains that lined the floor to ceiling windows of the apartment, always followed by at least one audible groan from one of the members. During one of the many occasions of Jisung staring blankly at the ceiling in the dark, Sana had entered the apartment and practically tripped over Jisung from where he was curled up on the floor in a blanket chimichanga, “Jisung-ssi, why are you on the floor, again. Its literally 3pm.”

Jisung liked to call them chimichangas, mostly because he really liked that it was a four syllable word, but it also described him best when he was in a blanket burrito feeling especially fried from exhaustion.

After tripping over Jisung for maybe the third time that week, Sana had left the apartment telling them to be sure to be ready for their performance tomorrow at five pm, when she would meet them at the venue. Although Jisung was the one currently rolled up on the floor, the other boys had somehow looked even more exhausted on the couch with emptied coffee cups in their hands and obvious dark circles under their eyes. They had finished in the early morning as always, trying their best to prepare for their performance, that apparently was tomorrow. That was news to Jisung, and still nothing written for his verse.

“You guys look so dead, how are you even awake right now” Jisung mused from his bundle on the floor. 

“I honestly don't know. Do you think I could just go to sleep until our performance tomorrow?” Chan chuckled at the realization that their call time wasn't more than 17 hrs away. 

“Honestly you need it, with how much you got done this week. You finished almost all the tracks for the album, right?” Changbin asked from his spot on the couch. Chan nods vaguely at the question . 

“Yeah out of the songs we chose, I was able to brush them up, and fixed the beat on a few. We can look at them closer after Friday.”

“This week didn't seem real. The last thing I remember was dragging Chan’s unconscious body down the hallway after we got back from Menu 98.” Jisung was gesturing wildly beneath the blanket he was under, but the other two didn't have to even look at him to know he was being dramatic. “Bin-hyung it took you like 3 whole minutes to put the right key in the door. I'm glad your attempts with the bottle opener didn’t end up damaging the lock.” 

That one earned Jisung a pillow to the face. 

“Well hopefully this Friday we won't end up in the same condition. Wine hangovers are the fucking worst,” Changbin held his head in remembrance of the pain but a smile was starting to sneak out on to his face. “But guys, since we’re finally officially signed with a company, I wouldn't mind getting to celebrate again this weekend.” 

His smile only grew as the other two joined in the grinning from their respective spots in the living room. It was true, they finally signed with a company. JJP Entertainment had reached out to them after having seen them perform one of their shows. Changbin had submitted a producer application to the company earlier that year, and seemingly as soon as they had seen the three in action all of them were accepted and got to sign with the agency. Changbin had begun working as a producer about a month ago while the other two had just recently been officially signed into the company as group members. To all of them it still seemed like it was too good to be true, but a week into it they were all just excited to be calling themselves recording artists and to have consistent pay for their professional work. 

Their manager Sana was a result of the company beginning to help promote 3racha as a group. Chan had mentioned that they weren’t going to be officially announced as a part of the company until they could properly debut with their album. Jisung wasn't going to complain though, he was just happy to feel like the dreams they’ve had since their underground highschool rapper days were finally being realized. 

All three of them, grinning wildly, were already feeling antsy to be on stage again. The hours until they could step onstage couldn't move fast enough.  

---

Minho had a busy fucking week.

 He had picked up two extra closing shifts that he usually would have days off on, but the reward of a bigger paycheck pulled his leg into accepting to take them. The bright side, he supposed, was that his coworker had taken his Friday shift and he was able to have a night off. His original plan to spend the entire night in the studio was pretty much shattered when his annoyingly loving roommates had scolded him when he had told them his plans. During morning rehearsal the group was able to get a lot done, and had polished their performance piece they had planned for a showcase in the coming week.

Minho told himself that he would have still stayed after practice if it wasn't for Hyunjin’s nagging to visit him at work that night, but he was packing his bag just as soon as the others once they were finished.The truth being that going to Hyunjin’s work almost always included free drinks and good company, and Minho felt like it would be the perfect way to relax his nerves after the week of productive practice, and painful working shifts. 

Hyunjin worked at the host club and bar a couple streets away from their apartment. The establishment was mostly known for the beautiful and handsome hosts and hostesses that worked there who served up drinks and polite conversation. In the more recent years, the place was becoming popularly known as being just a normal service bar that just had beautiful servers and bartenders. Many tourists and locals came to the bar in hopes of seeing and meeting these beautiful people, while also obtaining their weekend quota of alcohol. Of course as Hyunjin could attest to the host club wasnt without clients, as his boss asked him multiple times if he wanted to switch positions from bartender to host due to all the patrons asking if he was available.

“Come on Hyung! You can come and meet my new coworkers. Also you promised to visit Momo-noona last time and she’s still pissed you haven’t been back in like a month. Honestly at this point she wont stop worrying that you aren’t coming back to see her, and keeps asking me like-” 

“Okay, okay Hyunjin I’ll come with you, just stop rambling,” Minho giggled at the younger antics and his tendency to ramble to himself aloud, while in a conversation. It was reasons like this that made Minho glad the boy was only a bartender and not a host. Although, he would probably pay himself just to see the young 21-year-old try and make coherent conversation with a client. Hyunjin was beyond just beautiful, but when it came to conversing with strangers past their drink order, he was quite a bit less than suave. 

Hyunjin cheered as he skipped out the studio doors, joining arms with Felix as they made their way toward their shared apartment. 

---

Jisung left their flat early in hopes of being able to find the venue on his own, but still allow himself time to properly get lost. Surprisingly enough he was able to find the venue on the other side of town without much trouble and with Google Maps opened on his phone. One of the  reasons why it was so easy to find, was that the venue was huge. Among the lavish entrance, and its multicolored lighting, it had a large marquee with “3racha” shown in bold as the night's act. It was still the early evening and the district’s businesses were just starting to show signs of preparation for the night's patrons and customers. There were food stalls setting up, readily pre-cooking the batches of street food for those who would be passing by throughout the night. Clubs were just beginning to open their doors and prepare for the crowd that always came to dance away the start of the weekend. The bars were beginning to gather their additional servers and bartenders, from the looks of the various uniformed strangers on the street entering their respective places of employment. There were a few barhopping adults and students littering the streets with excited chatter and giggles of anticipation. 

Jisung can’t say he ever went out with friends much other than when the group would perform at bars and clubs right out of high school. He never had experienced the “wild night out with your friends” trope that he secretly loved watching in dramas and tv shows. There was just something watching a group of friends all going and enjoying a night together that made Jisung’s heart smile. Looking around again and escaping his thoughts, he spots a familiar face in the distance. 

In front of him is his cute server from last week, Minho, walking down the street not even 50ft away. Granted Jisung had honestly forgotten about the man after that night, as the dull ache of a hangover had occupied his mind the morning after. Jisung never thought he would actually see the man again outside the confines of the restaurant that he worked at. And maybe because this coincidence felt more like fate, and maybe because Jisung is the kind of guy to believe in fate, or maybe because Minho had smiled and from 50 ft away it still took Jisung’s breath away, Jisung found himself stumbling forward to follow the man into the bar he had just entered. 

--- 

Minho had walked into the familiar establishment and immediately went and found his place on a barstool. 

“You didn't have to come this early.” Hyunjin was all dressed up in his collared shirt and vest, with his name tag reflecting the dim lights from above his heart. The completed uniform of all the bartenders and servers at Sweet Lotus, of course, made Hyunjin look even more like a prince than usual. 

It was barely 15 minutes after the bar had opened for the night when Minho’s leather pants and silk shirt wearing ass had entered. 

“Well, it's not like I had any other plans tonight. Felix had left for work and it was too lonely in the apartment to wait for the bar hopping crowd to pass through, so I thought I would just beat them instead.” 

“I knew you missed me.” Hyunjin made a kissy face toward Minho that was met with a gentle face slap by the hand of the older. 

“Please, I only came to get an early start on the night. Maybe try and beat the in house record for free drinks.”

“Oh please you already know you still hold the record, don't act cocky” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and earned a giggle from the other. There was a running competition between the off duty servers and hosts of who could get the most free drinks from strangers in a night. It was a vanity competition as much as it was a ploy for the employees to boost the bar's sales when off shift. 

Minho thrived off of it, when he had worked as a host for the club. He had been in the highest demand on and off duty, gathering a total 19 drinks paid for by strangers within a single night. Even after Minho had left the club, his record still held. Hyunjin would sometimes come home updating Minho on how close some of his new coworkers had gotten to the record, well aware of how much the title inflated the man’s ego. 

Before Minho had the chance to respond a tuft of brown hair tripped into the bar entrance. A familiar looking boy with big shining eyes, searched the room until making eye contact with Minho. The determined look in the boy’s eyes was completely contrasted by the soft smile starting to appear on his lips as he approached the bar. 

Recognition flooded his memory as Minho looked back at the cute boy that had given him his number on a receipt the previous weekend. The boy struggled slightly at getting atop the stool next to Minho, earning him a slight snicker from the bartender as he watched the scenario play out in front of him. Hyunjin just watched his cocky ass roommate be made speechless by the entrance of a cute high school looking kid dressed in street clothes, there was no way he wasn't going to hound Minho when they got home. 

“Hi.” The younger looking boy smiled again fully creating a heart with his lips, and Minho couldn't help but smile back. That seemed to only make the younger grin wider if that was possible and his eyes sparkled with content. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I met you last week, I mean kind of. You were my server on Friday night, and you recommended a drink and a dish for me, and I’m pretty sure it was the best thing I had ever tasted before. And now that may seem like a completely crazy reason to low key follow you into a bar after seeing you on the street, but for some reason I feel indebted to you for giving me the best thing I’ve ever tasted also I’m pretty sure I was embarrass-”

“Hi Jisung,” Minho didn't know anyone else could ramble even more than Hyunjin, but here he was, Han Jisung, the cute boy in the pink hoodie who had given him his number and a tip that was quite a bit more than his 20% usual. In full honestly Minho had found the receipt a few times during the week in his work pants pocket, but had always returned it before considering actually dialling the number scrawled on it. 

“You don’t have to feel indebted to me, that’s all apart of my job…” A wave of guilt weighed on Minho as he made eye contact with Jisung again. “Also I apologize for never messaging you. I know you left me your number on Friday, and I usually don’t pay too much mind when customers give me their numbers, but for some reason I still kept yours.” Jisung’s eyes widened at that and his expression looked as if he had just realized something. 

Minho just continued, “To be completely honest, I didn't think I would see you again, especially outside of my work.” 

“I didn’t either,” Jisung quickly interjected. “And to also be totally honest, I completely forgot that I gave you my number. Tipsy me can be a little more bold than I thought.” He chuckled inwardly at himself. Looking at Minho now, Jisung had no idea how even tipsy he had found the balls to do something like that. In casual clothes, Minho looked god-like to Jisung, and something about the change in atmosphere made Customer Service Minho almost non-existent. Being able to look at Minho, his glittering sharp eyes, his perfectly styled hair, and breathtaking smile without any filters, and something about it made Jisung’s heart beat even louder. There was a slight pause as Jisung had stopped speaking and had got distracted with staring at all of Minho’s features. “Uh..um… anyway damn now I feel bad. Can I like buy you a drink or something to make up for it?” Jisung barely managed to stutter that out. 

“Hey Min-hyung, that's your first for the night, and it's not even five yet. Damn maybe you will break your record,” Jisung looked over to the voice's owner and seemed to have just acknowledged the presence of the bartender after entering.

“Shut up Jinnie, I don’t wanna make him pay for my drink, the sun’s not even set” 

“That hasn't stopped you before” 

“No I really mean it, I'll pay for your drink if you'll let me. Not really sure what you two are discussing but I don't have a problem paying, even just to mend my consciousness” Jisung pleaded. 

“You sure talk a lot with your wallet there, Han.” Hearing Minho using his last name to address him wasn't lost on Jisung. If anything Jisung was starting to take it as a challenge. 

“Well, let me buy you a drink and we can talk now because we didn't get the chance over the phone.” Jisung really wasn’t sure where that confidence came from but it diminished quickly as he held his breath waiting for Minho to respond.

Minho smirked and nodded agreement, ordering his drink. “What about for you?” the bartender asked Jisung as he was taking out his card to pay for said drink. 

“Oh nothing for me I have to get ready for a show soon,” squinting to read the man’s name tag “Hyunjin-ssi.” 

Minho's curiosities from the previous weekends returned, and he found himself jumping on the opportunity to learn more about the boy. They were just curiosities. Han Jisung was just a curiosity. “What is it you do exactly?” 

“Oh I’m a rapper in a group, with the two other guys you saw. Together were super cool rap trio 3racha~” Jisung put an emphasis on the name with excessive hand gestures. Minho thought they were cute. “And we're actually playing at the venue not too far from here. We’re on at 9 if you want to come watch.” Jisung smiles widely at that, cocking an eyebrow as if that was persuasion enough to get Minho to come. 

It was. “Maybe I’ll stop by then. I can’t say I’m not curious.” Minho tries his best to feign disinterest, but his roommate’s smirk from across the bar meant that he wasn’t completely successful. 

Minho glares at the bartender while Jisung continues the conversation. “So what was it that you were talking about? The record and all that, did I miss something?”

Hyunjin giggles at the question and puts on a dramatic voice, “Well, here at the Sweet Lotus even our employees will come on their off days and breaks to enjoy the bar and club as patrons, but of course flirting with coworkers is generally frowned upon, so we made up a fun little competition.” Hyunjin continues to explain what the casual competition entitles. Minho shifts to watching Jisung instead. Seeing the boy again had been somewhat of a shock, and now actually looking at him, something about Jisung made Minho’s heartbeat a little quicker. Probably just the beginning effects of the sip of alcohol he had yet to consume. Or it could be the way Minho kept thinking about how soft the boy looked, his cheeks, his hair, his smile. Jisung was cute. A cute curiosity

“So what’s the record then? The highest number of free drinks?” Jisung was asking both of them but had turned toward MInho to meet his eyes. They were full of stars, even when the rest of the place was dimly lit. 

“19 drinks in a single night, held by our very own Lee Minho. Making him the hottest guy to ever grace our establishment, at least by the objective body count” Hyunjin dramatically bows to him. 

“Hey I got 17 once” yelled the other bartender from further down the bar. 

“I better keep coming back then, so you can’t take my spot San-ah.” Minho responded and sent him a cheeky smirk. The other bartender responded with a pouty face and a groan, before turning back to another customer. “But technically I’m not an employee anymore, so I think that takes me out of the running,” Minho continues.

“Still, I don’t think you’d ever lose that title… n-no offense to any of the other employees. I mean I only just got here and have only seen a few of you, but you are all respectively very attractive, and-” 

“Jisung stop rambling.” Minho giggled at seeing how flustered he could make the other. “Plus I doubt I’d lose my spot if you have anything to do with it, Mr. rich boy rapstar.” Minho takes a sip of his drink as the other sputters once again into a bumbling mess, blushing even harder. 

“What noooo! Not me pshhhhhh. I am but a lowly underground rapper. Please my heart’s too fragile to handle being called a rapstar by you this early in the night, also I swear I’m not a rich boy! Not yet at least, I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, paycheck, you know?”

“Your tipping habits say otherwise” 

Jisung grumbles under his breath something that sounds like ‘damn it drunk jisungie you did it again’

Before the conversation could continue, Jisung's phone rings from his jacket pocket. “Hello?... AH Sana-noona please don't yell.... Yes I know what time it is. It is-” Jisung checks the clock on his phone “Five-Thirty! Fuck, I’m on the way” Jisung looks apologetically at Minho and Hyunjin and does a few hand gestures that indicate he has to go. “I'll be there in like 30 seconds, I swear!!!” 

Jisung hangs up and hops off his stool, “As you can see I am being forcefully summoned by my manager, I do hope you’ll come to the show later? Thanks for uh- I don’t know, why am I thanking you. But uh..Thanks anyway though, and I-uh hope we can do this again sometime… yeah, bye Minho.” Jisung smiles wide again and scurries out the door, almost at a full sprint. 

Minho really likes his cute smile, and tries to commit the heart shape to memory.

“Hyung, he’s sooo your type it practically hurts.” Hyunjin forms a cheeky look on his face.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Minho retorts, taking another sip of the drink Jisung bought him. 

“Come on, cute, low-key a mess, big eyes, whipped as soon as he saw you. Don't even lie, you love the ones that just fall for you as soon as you smile at them. Practically all your clients were like that, and they all followed you to the restaurant” 

“That’s not true,” Minho denied. 

“It's true our numbers dropped when you left. We had to hire three new guys to make up the loss,” San added, now suddenly a part of the conversation.

“Well now I feel bad,” he did kind of, but it also was a huge ego boost for Minho.

“Don't. You know Momo would let you pick up a shift if you ever needed” San now joining Hyunjin in leaning on the counter. 

“Maybe I don’t know, I'll just boost her drink sales tonight insead to make up for it.” They laugh, and Minho’s cocky smirk returns as more patrons enter the bar, and the two bartenders return to their positions for the night 

-----

Jisung sprinted right into hair and makeup, finding his group mates already being dressed and powdered when he got there. He was able to just barely avoid a scolding from Sana as he ducked into a changing room instead. Switching from his streetwear into something that made him look more like his stage personality ‘J.One’.

By the time it was up for them to perform all three of them shared knowing glances and charged on the stage as their loud and overpowering bass beats flooded the speakers and the entire venue. The venue itself held a couple hundred people and the cheers and energy from the crowd only fueled the rappers as they began their opening song. For the three of them being on stage was like getting a high. 

Jisung felt like he had taken 3 shots at the bar before the performance. He felt drunk on the adrenaline and his ad libs and verses all came out even more powerful than usual. Chan and Changbin took his energetic aura in stride and fed off him to energize their own performances for the whole show. 

When their new track finally starts playing, the verse that Jisung had been agonizing all week appeared in his head as if it had always been there, and he knew that this verse was going to go down as one of his best freestyles yet. Jisung closed out the song with an electric verse that flowed and hit the rhythm in ways he had never thought he could before, and after the last beat echoed throughout the room, the entire venue filled with cheers and screams from the audience. 

Minho watched from the back of the venue witnessing the three boys on stage completely dominate the stage and steal every heart from the audience. He never thought that the big eyed clutz from a few hours ago would be the man he saw on stage. On stage, Jisung practically oozed with charisma, demanding the attention of all those who would listen. At the end of the show the last verse he spit out was so intensely captivating, that it guaranteed that everyone in the audience was now in love with Han Jisung. There was no way anyone would be able to deny it. Not even Minho, even though he would definitely try. 

“I’m CB97” “This has been SpearB” “and I’ve been J.One” 

“and together we are 3racha! See you next time”

---

That night as soon as Minho got home he searched his closet for the only connection he had with the supposed rapstar. Digging into the pockets of his work pants, he pulls out the paper with the boys number and immediately adds in to his contacts before texting him:

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

This is Lee Minho  

I saw your performance 

at least I think that was you

If it wasn't some rapstar named J.One may be your twin 

Im sure hear you this all the time

But your performance was amazing. Good job Han :)

---

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[desperationandgin]

Strawberry Wine (Part 1, Chapter 9)

Rating: Mature

Author: desperationandgin

Previous Chapter

Also Read On: AO3

Summary: Jamie and Claire have Lallybroch to themselves. Conversation ensues.

Author’s Notes:  If you noticed the chapter count on AO3, we've gone from 20 to 21 chapters. As I fleshed out the end of Part 1 (which is in 2 chapters!), I realized there was something else that very much needed to happen, but cramming it into the next chapter was making it way too long, so! We're almost halfway through, gang :) 

Also, I realize I've been terrible about replying to individual comments and have been for the past few chapters/fics. I do see everything, and I love everything, and one day I'll have my life together enough to reply! You can always shoot me a tweet at @desperationgin :) I try to check twitter every day. Thank you though, for every comment on every platform. They mean SO much.

FINALLY: Last week for this specific mood board!

Chapter Nine: Bittersweet

It was a rare thing, to have the entirety of Lallybroch to ourselves, but fortune seemed to be on our side today. It was the first noticeably cooler day of the summer, a harbinger of fall and my inevitable separation from Jamie. The thought of it made my stomach clench and mind search for ways to put off my day of departure. But it was two weeks away and, rationally, I knew it couldn’t be avoided.

That was why the empty house wasn’t taken for granted.

Uncle Lamb, Brian, and a few of their mutual acquaintances decided to take a trip to Kilmartin Glen. Because of the distance (all to see some stones and crumbling forts; even as interested in archeology as I was, I failed to be interested in touching rocks when I could be touching Jamie) they would be gone two full nights, promising to return with plenty of notes. Left to our own devices, Jamie, Jenny, Ian, and I ate supper, the four of us trying to refine our excuses for not wanting to linger at the table.

“Jamie—”

“Claire—”

Jenny and Jamie both spoke over one another and I watched as Jamie deferred to his sister with a nod.

“I was only going to see if ye didna mind letting Ian and I borrow your truck is all.”

Jamie eyed his sister critically as if wanting to protest it; even if Ian was Jamie’s best friend, Jenny was his sister. But that didn’t stop me from lightly pressing my foot down on top of his, giving him an emphatic look as I asked a question.

“A drive sounds nice. Where are you going?”

Any worry that Jamie wouldn’t get the hint dissipated as he ducked his head to hide a twitch of a smile, clearing his throat.

“Och, nowhere special,” came Ian’s reply, and I wondered if Jenny had a foot on him, too.

“No, I dinna mind. I suppose Claire and I can find something to do around here.”

“Oh, aye, I’m sure ye’ll just be desperate for ideas,” Jenny retorted, and I felt my cheeks flame, praying it was subtle enough to blame on the wine I was currently focused on drinking.

In the end, Jenny and Ian left, and Jamie and I wasted no time going upstairs hand in hand, oblivious to the fact that the entire household staff knew precisely what was going on. We tumbled into bed, a naked tangle of limbs, and didn’t stop to breathe again until distant church bells tolled ten p.m. I laid on my side facing Jamie, warm and pink and satiated as I played with the fine hairs on his chest.

“I’ll be spoiled after tonight. How will I ever be able to sleep alone again?” I asked, taking a deep breath and heaving it out slowly.

He rolled flat onto his back, taking me with him so that I could splay across his body. “I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“Mmm, dangerous, but continue,” I teased, for which I received a light swat to my backside.

“Four years is no’ but a bit over fourteen-hundred days.”

I looked at him like he’d gone mad. “Are you saying that isn’t a hell of a long time? Because I’ve got news for you, Jamie Fraser — it is a long time.” I was aware I was pouting and let out a huff of air in an attempt to relax my face.

“It is a long while, I willna argue that,” he amended while leaning forward to press his lips to my forehead. “But we’ll see one another in between; after only seven-hundred and thirty days, I’ll be able to visit anytime I’d like.”

“I like that number much better than anything over a thousand,” I allowed. “Is that all you were thinking?”

One of Jamie’s hands rubbed up and down my back slowly as he hummed. “No. I was thinkin’...if we each live to say, seventy, do ye ken how many days that will be?”

Lifting my head, I eyed him critically, calling his bluff on having actually done the math. “How many?”

Raising his head, he pushed forward until our lips met, then continued pushing until we were both sitting up. “Twenty-five thousand, five-hundred fifty. We have thousands of days left together, Sassenach, even wi’ school.”

While he spoke, I was busy repositioning myself on his lap and let my hands come to rest on his shoulders. “Well, when you put it like that, what’s four more years?” I asked quietly, ducking my head to press a kiss to the side of his neck, then trailed my kisses lower, down toward his clavicle. “I can accept the facts without liking them.”

Jamie made a sound of agreement in the back of his throat, rubbing his hands up and down my back idly. “We’ll make time in between,” he promised.

I could tell in the silence that lapsed that he had something to say, and I lifted my head, meeting his gaze. “What is it?”

One of his hands left my back only to cradle my chin with near-reverence. “Are ye afraid?”

For the second time that night, I felt heat creep up my chest. Automatically, I wanted to ask of what, but I couldn’t bring myself to be that flippant. “You’ll think I’m ridiculous.”

“No,” he soothed softly, pushing a hand through my hair. “No, mo nighean donn, I’ll never think that about ye.”

Wetting my lips, I looked down. “What the hell,” I breathed out. “Might as well come straight out with it.” When I looked back up at him, I hated how I sounded to my own ears; young and unsure.

“You’ll be in France with… wine and women and the Eiffel Tower,” I listed, shaking my head at myself. “What I’m saying is, you’ll be in a city renowned for having beautiful women and no shortage of things to do.”

I had never wanted to take back words so badly in my life.

“I’m sorry, that was—”

“It was the fear and concern of a lass who doesna ever get to keep much,” Jamie finished for me, his voice a soothing balm over my exposed emotions.

“It doesn’t sound horribly jealous?”

He chuckled softly, the sound warm as both hands now reached to cradle my face. “Only a wee, normal bit, Sassenach. But I do need to reassure ye.” Jamie pressed a hard kiss to my forehead, seeming to think about it for a moment. “First, I dinna think I’m all that interested in a large monument of metalwork, so I’ll no’ be taking any lasses there but you, if ye wish to see it. Second, aye, there are women in France. But I’m only interested in one woman.”

“You could always change your mind. Like you said — I’m only one woman.”

His head was shaking before I’d even finished my first sentence. “There’s no one else I want. I dinna care about other women. Only you, Claire.”

I sniffled a bit, even though I wasn’t crying, and pressed my forehead to Jamie’s. “I’ve never wanted to keep someone so desperately before,” I found myself admitting, a thought that had never made it past my lips.

After more unplanned rearranging, I settled with my back to Jamie’s chest, with a bit of space between us. He was against the headboard, and when his arms failed to wind around me as expected, I looked over my shoulder, curious. He gently nudged my head so that I was looking forward again, making a soft noise of encouragement in the back of his throat. As his fingers begin to gently comb through my hair, I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the room around us. Through the open window, the night song of crickets filtered inside, and then Jamie’s voice was low against my ear.

“When I was a lad, about fourteen, I summered wi’ my Uncle Dougal to help on his farm. One of the farmhands, his family lived on the property and they had a daughter, Bernadette. Weel, one day, as I was carryin’ pails of water, she came up to me and gave my cheek a wee peck.”

Jamie demonstrated by kissing my cheek, a wet, sloppy thing that made me scrunch my nose. Then, his hands went back to their task: braiding my hair. I was surprised to realize he was doing it and too pleased to say anything, not wanting him to stop. “Well? What happened?”

He chuckled, low in his chest. “Her mother caught us and told my uncle. I woke up the next mornin’ to him standin’ over me, telling me I wouldna be takin’ advantage of any of his good help’s daughters. Wasna verra pleasant.”

My forehead creased a bit in thought. “It doesn’t sound that bad, a stern talking to like that.”

“Aye, but the whole time, Dougal had one hand on a knife he carried, and one on my bollocks. I was sixteen before I looked at a lass again.”

I laughed at that, one hand moving up and down his leg. “He certainly got his point across.” I let my thoughts wander, then hummed. “No one ever talked much to me about sex. I had a few conversations with female tutors about various things, but I can’t remember an explicit talk about it.”

“Being around animals, ye get a general sense of how things go, but my da, once I began seriously seeing a lass, sat me down. Told me no’ to rush into things and that when it was the right woman, I’d ken it.”

I knew Jamie wasn’t a virgin, but before I could open my mouth, he spoke again.

“I didna ken what he meant, no’ really. I was near seventeen when I bedded a lass for the first time. I was sure; at least, I thought I was. I enjoyed her, enjoyed speaking wi’ her and doing things wi’ her. So, it only stood to reason we would—” He gestured vaguely, holding onto my braid with one hand.

“I understand,” I assured him, squeezing his leg. “You were serious.” But clearly he’d been wrong, seeing as how he was single when we met.

“I kept waiting, afterward, for some grand feeling to reassure me I’d done the right thing, been wi’ the right woman. I didna feel any less for her, but I didna feel any more. And again, when I was nineteen I thought I was in love, but after a year, I realized I didna feel as deeply for her as I wished I felt.” He finished my braid and reached over for the ribbon on his nightstand that usually tied his hair back.

“When was the first time you felt love the way your father described it, Jamie?” I knew the answer, but I wanted to hear him say it.

He didn’t disappoint, pulling me back against his chest and letting his hands splay warm and possessive over my stomach. Then, he leaned in to whisper softly against my ear.

“The day I saw ye in the window, a nighean.”

I shivered, and one of his hands moved between my thighs, thumb pressing against nerves still aching with residual pleasure.

“I saw ye, and I kent then and there I had to have ye. But that night, sitting on the wall? That’s when I fell in love wi’ ye.”

His thumb moved at a slow, leisurely pace — enough that I could still find the capacity for speech. “I thought you were beautiful.” My voice sounded breathless to my own ears, and I slowly curved my spine, arching in a way that sent pleasure tingling through my limbs. “The first time I saw you, I mean. Then you spoke, and all I wanted was to hear you forever.”

Jamie began to move faster, lips pressing against my neck as he kissed a line toward my shoulder.

“I don’t—don’t want to go, Jamie.” My hands clutched at his thighs, nails lightly digging into his skin. He didn't relent, and I felt my hips push up against his touch, seeking friction and heat even as I pleaded for something else altogether. “Come with me. Come with me to London.”

Lips pressed to my neck, resting over the pulse slamming against my skin. He said nothing and curved two fingers into me, beckoning me to come with every stroke. I gasped, eyes falling shut against the pending pleasure. The pinprick of need grew until I saw flecks of white in my vision just before shattering. With no family in the house to speak of, I cried out with abandon, back arching as an approximation of his name tumbled from my mouth.

He eased me down, slowing his touch as his nose nuzzled at my neck. His arms wrapped firmly around me, lips pressing to my shoulder.

“It will be alright, Sassenach. Trust that even while we’re apart, we’ll speak regularly, see one another often. And when our four years is up, nothing will keep me from marrying ye proper.”

Jamie’s hand reached for mine, the one with his initial carved into my flesh, and brought it to his lips, kissing the fresh scar. “I’ll miss ye wi’ every bone in my body, but knowing what our future holds will get us through it, mo nighean donn.”

When my mind and body were on speaking terms once more, I moved to face Jamie, both of us resting on our sides now.

“I know I keep going on about it, I’m sorry. And I do look forward to our future. I think it—I think it frightens me because the last time someone was only going to be gone a little while, it was my parents.”

And they’d never come home to me.

He pulled me close, kissing the bridge of my nose before nuzzling the tip of his along the side of mine. “You’re alright, I promise,” he soothed, and I sighed softly. “I understand yer fear, Sassenach. And I canna promise nothing will ever happen, it wouldna be fair. But I do promise to never let ye go long wi’ out hearing from me, wi’ out seeing me. Every chance we have, we’ll make the most of it.”

Curling impossibly closer, I tucked myself into the safety and warmth of his body, his arms tightening around me.

“I’ve never missed anyone before, not like this. I’m not even gone yet, and I already want to come back.”

“Aye, I ken what ye mean.” His hand brought mine to his lips, kissing my knuckles this time. “It does feel wrong to let ye go, I canna deny that. But the days apart do give me plenty of time to come up wi’ ways to spoil ye when we are together,” he said with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

“I can’t claim to hate the sound of that,” I hummed, leaning forward to kiss his lips gently. Then, I remembered that I was charmed by a certain activity earlier. “Where in the world did you learn to braid hair?” I asked with a soft laugh.

He kissed the tip of my nose this time. “Jenny taught me. After our mam died, she had a difficult time braiding her own hair, so she taught me how to do it on a doll, then had me help her until she could finally do it herself.”

It occurred to me that Jenny could have easily asked Mrs. Crook, but instead, she’d taken the time to specifically teach her brother. I smiled softly, resting my forehead against his.

“Now I have expectations, you know.”

“Oh, aye? What sort of expectations, Sassenach?”

I grinned as I tilted my head back to look up at him. “I’m going to expect that every night before bed, you’ll braid my hair for me.” I ducked to press a kiss to the center of his chest. “Would you do that?”

I felt Jamie smile against my forehead.

“Every evening, Sassenach. Every evening for twenty-five thousand, five hundred and fifty nights.”

Next Chapter

[enkindl3d]

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name -  Johnny Hart Eye colour - Deep chocolate brown Hair style / colour - Currently a dark shade of brown since he's had it dyed blonde (then red, pink... then half pink and half blonde) for a couple of months. Since he’s started an internship at a law firm, he wanted to look mature and professional but knowing Jo, he will dye it back to blonde soon. Height -  178cm  Clothing style - His clothing style varies depending on his mood. When he’s in class for lectures that just seem to go on and on, he tends to wear large hoodies and jeans (sometimes tracksuits) to be comfortable. Other times, he will go for that edgy look with his dark jeans, turtleneck or dress shirts where he rolls up his sleeves to show off the growing sleeve tattoo. When he is feeling like showing off (now that his confidence has grown), he would pair his ripped jeans with fishnets underneath y’know. Then when he goes for his internship, you will find him in a nice suit complete with a skinny tie, kinda like a young Korean Mike Ross from Suits.  Best physical feature: Many say his smile and others have commented that it’s his eyes.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

Fears -  Fire. Without a doubt considering his past. A small flame, sure that’s alright. Bonfires? His anxiety will be off the roof. Fireworks and any loud explosions too? Please keep that away from him.  Guilty pleasure -  Musicals. Mamamia? Hamilton? Hairspray? Grease? High School Musical and Camp Rock? Oh the boy knows it all and will sing the entire soundtrack if you ever asked him.  Biggest pet peeve -  Johnny’s not a picky or easily irritated but one thing that does get him a little on edge is when people know he is concentrating and busy doing anything yet they still come to bother him. Although there may be some who are an exception to this. Another would be people on the phone to someone but they are yelling or have their voices tuned to loud like there is no need to raise your voice I’m pretty sure the person can hear you perfectly.  Ambitions for the future -  Becoming a top tier criminal lawyer and marrying his his future love of his life and maybe having a family of his own where he can give his kids the best life possible that he didn’t receive himself. 

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

First thoughts upon waking up: Most often he would think about what the consequences would be if he closes his eyes for 10 minutes.  What you think about most: Johnny thinks about his future A LOT. Not just the far future but the next day. He has this constant fear that something will go tits up and he wouldn’t know what to do about it. He overthinks so much that there are times he has made himself think it’s true.  What you think about before bed: He thinks back to the things that happened on the day, thinking about what will happen if he did this instead or if he said this differently. He will go through different scenarios to what already happened which is not so good cause he will then hate himself for not going another way.  What your best quality is - I believe it’s the way he will go out to do something without hesitation. If he wants something, he will do everything to the nines to get it. He is so well driven and goal-orientated. He will work for it even if it may take quite a while. Look at him now, he is in law school. That is something that a younger Johnny wouldn’t have dreamed of but then something clicked in him and declared he wants to be a good lawyer and he went on and enrolled despite worries that he might not be good enough. I’m a proud mama.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER ?

Single or group dates -  He doesn’t mind either one but of course he would prefer single dates to happen more because he wants one on one alone time with the person he likes. Group dates can happen when a relationship or connection has been established and they’re comfortable enough to be open to spending time with friends.  To be loved or respected -  For him, love and respect are a packaged deal. How can you be loved when you’re not respected? It doesn’t make sense to him. He wants both.  Beauty or brains -  A balance but he does believe that beauty eventually fades and beauty may deceive on the most part so he would go for brains. He likes to hear peoples thoughts and opinions, how their mind works and their intellect.  Dogs or cats -  Dogs. He loves cats but dogs are his main. He adores them. 

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU …

Lie -  He does. Everyone does.  Believe in yourself -  Before he didn’t. He never did. But as time went on, slowly he began to with so much encouragement from the people who is in his life. He will still doubt but he’s grown to push those doubts away.  Believe in love -  Yes. Despite the bad things, he still believed in love. Want someone -  Always.

LAYER SIX : EVER BEEN …

Been on stage:  A while back when he used to do dance. Does being in a court room count as a being on stage? Cause he’s often there.  Done drugs:  Oh yeah but not the hard drugs, never. Just a couple of times where he got high but not anymore (he gets drug tested now due to his internship)  Changed who you were to fit in: Definitely. When he was young, yes. He did everything to fit in as such as possible but now he has voice his voice, his style. He found himself finally.  

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

Favourite color -  Yellow.  Favourite animal -  Otters. Take him to a zoo and he will make a beeline straight to where the otters are.  Favourite movie -  The Hobbit movies and LOTR.  favourite game -  Tekken. He will sit hours on end playing. 

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

Day your next birthday will be -  Saturday 1st September How old will you be -  He will be 22  Age you lost your virginity -  I never thought about this before but let’s say he lost his age around 18/19?  Does age matter -  It doesn’t just as long as it’ not underage of course. Though he does have a limit. He can date anyone who is three years younger or three years older but nothing more nothing less. 

LAYER NINE : IN A PERSON

Best personality - He loves those who he can hold a proper conversation with. Someone who is full of life and dreams. Humour is a big thing for him too. Make him laugh, he is yours. A person who brings warmth and a sense of comfort and belonging. People who do not judge and is open to what life offers.  Best eye colour -  He has no preferences but he’s always been fascinated with people with green eyes. It’s not a common eye colour anymore and in a way, he’s captivated by them.  Best hair colour -  He doesn’t mind.  Best thing to do with a partner - Being intimate with them. Not just in bed but the simple things like pecks on the cheek, holding hands, cuddling here and there. Another is going on dates, planned or unplanned. Just spending time with them and locking out the entire world and just focusing on each other. 

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love - life currently, his dog taco, his friends I feel -  content. I hide -  my emotions pretty well.  I miss -  my sister. I wish -  I could see her again.

Tagged by: @intergalacticxmisfits ((Thank you lovely <3) Tagging: @epigrvm @minxygi @izbrane (( i’ve only just been back so i don’t have many people to tag but please if you do see this, feel free to do it anyway even if you’re not tagged ^^

[chelsealbyrne]

To paint her “truest self” | Profile feature article August 2018

Tahlia Stanton says she wants to "bridge the gap between fantasy and reality" in her art. Chelsea Byrne reports.

Tahlia Stanton’s studio expands across her entire household. Every inch of every wall is covered by her work. She dreams of a property with a much larger studio space, imagining a barn that she could transform. Yet, here, she spends 40 hours a week sitting on a desk chair by an easel with little room to move between resting canvases and palettes. She wears black laddered tights, no shoes, and a navy dress from an op shop because she would rather spend money on paint than clothes.

At only 18-months-old, Tahlia was already holding a pen correctly and drawing pictures. When she was eight she did her first painting - a phoenix. She is now 19 and already nationally acclaimed for her artwork, having won five Young Australian Artist Awards with work in private collections throughout Australia and the United States. But what is it that makes her artwork so special?

Each piece merges the realistic with the fictitious, a real-life animal pictured in a mythical landscape. She is bridging the gap between fantasy and reality, providing her audience an escape from their everyday lives. 

“Everything is escapism,” she said. “Art, TV, mobiles. People want to escape and that is something to take advantage of.” 

Painting is Tahlia’s escape. She could easily spend a week without leaving the house or even showering.

Tahlia describes her process as whimsical and unplanned, doing whatever comes to mind. An abstract background and an animal in the foreground, surrounded by other animal companions or objects in the background. Each piece can take between five and 35 hours to create and weeks or even months to dry due to the layering of oils at the end of her painting process. She works in at least three spaces at the same time. 

“You don’t want to just sit there and literally watch paint dry, she said. 

A supportive family environment is a key to Tahlia’s success.

“There are so many people in the world that don’t get to do what they want to do because their parents are insecure and would prefer them to do something else,” she said. “Be a doctor! Be a lawyer! But no, the kid wants to be an artist.”

Tahlia’s parents never doubted her abilities, investing in art supplies to help kick-start her career. They then suggested sending her to Ballarat Clarendon College for her secondary education, a highly regarded private school in Ballarat, which she says was a big deal for a family that’s not well-off.

After an unsuccessful attempt at gaining a scholarship to Clarendon in 2012, Tahlia tried again in 2013 for the beginning of Year 8. She was offered a half scholarship, which lifted a significant weight off her parents’ shoulders, who had proposed home-schooling as the plan-B option.

Michelle Green, Head of Visual Arts at Ballarat Clarendon College, recommended Tahlia for the scholarship. 

“She presented herself as very passionate about the visual arts,” she said. “She was very able to express her ideas, what she wanted to do and where she wanted to go.” 

Despite never teaching Tahlia, Michelle closely followed her progress since recommending her for the scholarship. 

“Tahlia always knew the style she wanted to work on and, while it wasn’t always everybody’s cup of tea, there were still so many people who loved what she was doing,” she said.

Tahlia is now nine months out of high school and into her art business full-time.

“I thought about going to university but decided it just wasn’t for me. Everyone there is so hoity-toity,” she said. “I really didn’t want to be one of those people.”

Despite her family’s support, they were disappointed at the prospect of Tahlia not going to university. 

“The entrepreneur industry just isn’t what everyone wants for their kids as it’s unstable at first and very scary,” she said. 

“She’s not precious about selling her work,” said Michelle. “She has so much drive and is always thinking of different ways to get her artwork out there and that’s why she’s so successful.”

Tahlia is now recently engaged to fiancé, Andrew, and is very grateful for his ongoing support. He is studying a Bachelor of Law and Commerce at Deakin University Geelong. 

“I didn’t even know she was an artist when we first started dating,” he said. “One day she dropped the Young Australians Artists Awards bomb in front of me and I was genuinely surprised. Now I can’t imagine her doing anything else.”

Tahlia is also running her own face-painting business, Spots and Whiskers, and, after just three months, works regular shifts at Zagames, Bunnings Warehouse and Woolworths. 

“It’s an awesome way to use my skills as a means of earning money on the side of my regular work,” she said. 

Tahlia has invested $1,000 in face paint which she acknowledges is an “ungodly amount to spend”, but thinks it’s worth it.

Tahlia’s passion for art and painting always takes priority, even over her relationship with Andrew – but he said he doesn’t mind. She is constantly learning more about her unique artistic style and target audience. She is whimsical, spontaneous and confident, but also strives to attract the eyes of her complete opposite - the introverted. She wants her viewers to experience the same enlightenment, freedom, passion, joy and love that she feels when she is creating.

Tahlia believes that through painting she has discovered her “truest self”, which she defines as understanding what you want out of life and actually executing it. 

“My truest self is being joyful, happy and content by painting and doing what I love most,” she said. “Life is too short to be sad and angry. I want to take my audience to a beautiful world.”

This article was published in the Swinburne Standard. 

[jinlian]

i’ve always sorta wondered, but what did sayokubo hope to achieve with yurio’s narrative arc? like, i wanna believe that they were going somewhere with it but ran out of time but at the same time im just sorta?? i want to like all the characters in yoi but like idk the storytelling and characterization just fell flat.

this is a question i can’t really answer, though i’m inclined to agree with you that they had an idea, just totally missed on the follow-through due to time constraints or some other reason. i’ll give them the benefit of a doubt, because the storytelling — up until the last two episodes, and even pieces within those episodes — is otherwise quite solid. but they definitely dropped the ball on this one.

the problem, in my opinion, is that they got too stuck on the story they had decided to tell rather than the one they were telling. they have said that they planned to have yuuri come in second from the start, and i believe that, because it genuinely is the only thing that makes sense to me when the rest of the narrative develops to point to a very different outcome. the romance was unplanned and developed during the production process, so i have no trouble seeing how the story could have evolved along the way in a way that didn’t quite match up with their initial plans.

the results of the grand prix final did no one any favors, yurio absolutely included, and it left me, as a viewer, extremely unsatisfied with the storytelling. sayokubo said they thought yuuri winning would be too predictable so they decided from the beginning to have him place second, but there are a few problems with the way they executed this

first of all, they’re actually pretty incorrect when they say sports anime protags just win predictably all the time. i’d say the opposite: more often than not i’d definitely say i’ve seen the protagonist lose at the big final game for a ~character development~ moment. this is fine when that’s what the story needs, but that isn’t want yuuri’s story needed even if it were not a common, predictable outcome.

here’s the thing: predictable writing is not necessarily bad writing. in fact, sometimes it’s extremely good writing when it’s “predictable” because the narrative threads have pointed in a certain direction. and it’s very satisfying as a viewer to see when a very relatable gay mentally ill protagonist overcomes his own self doubts and fears and recognizes his own capabilities and finally, finally achieves the dream he’s always had through being supported and encouraged in a mutually beneficial relationship.

it’s really, really important to note that “learning that people will love him if he wins or loses” is absolutely not a lesson that yuuri needed to learn. in fact, yuuri makes that clear as early as episode four, when he explicitly says on the beach that his friends and family have always supported him no matter what. that’s not the point, that isn’t what he needed. yuuri needed someone to push him, to give him something other than lukewarm “we’ll love you no matter what” sentiments that he already knows are true, and victor gives that. it then takes yuuri nine episodes to say aloud that he has always competed with the thought that he wants and plans to win. nine episodes. nine episodes. nine episodes while he’s in the middle of competing through an anxiety attack and pushing himself to do exactly what he needs to do to qualify for the grand prix final.

yuuri never needed to learn how to lose. he’s spent his entire senior career on the international circuit learning how to lose. yuuri needed to learn how to win.

people have this idea that if yuuri had won, he would have retired. that’s of course what yuuri was saying he was going to do, but that’s definitely not what the narrative was telling us. yuuri is talking throughout the entire season about how much he loves skating, how he wants to compete at victor’s side, you have junior skaters telling yuuri how much they look forward to competing against him on the senior circuit, and yuuri decides to keep competing while he’s watching yurio, before they know the results of the competition. the whole point is supposed to be about yuuri’s love for skating, how much yuuri has left to give to the sport, and it would have been ridiculously easy to have him win and go wow, i’ve only just started achieving my full potential, i love skating and i want to keep going especially if victor is coming back. this just kinda makes it look even more like yuuri only wants to keep skating to get a win and then he can quit. it isn’t satisfying. at all.

the problem is partly that yuuri’s unreliable narration led a lot of people to believe that he just isn’t a very talented skater, which is so far from the truth and completely ridiculous given the very obvious canon evidence, but somehow despite breaking a world record people still believe this because he placed second at the grand prix final. that’s definitely on the audience, but it’s also on the writing.

victor wasn’t the prize. he was never meant to be, the story was always supposed to be about yuuri.

and before another anon tries to get smarmy with me, i’ve been aware since the final episode that the results of the gpf are arguably a fix-it fic for tatsuki machida, who came in second at worlds by the slimmest of margins to relative newcomer yuzuru hanyu, bombed his grand prix final the following season, and announced his shocking and unexpected retirement at japanese nationals where he came fourth. it gave me some comfort for a little while, but after thinking more and more about it, i just kind of don’t care. an homage to tatsuki, as appreciated as it is, doesn’t override the unsatisfying narrative conclusion in the fictional story told in yuri on ice.

AND NOW ACTUALLY ONTO YOUR POINT ABOUT YURIO –

if anyone needed to “learn how to lose” it was yurio, and he absolutely did not experience that storyline in his grand prix losses to jj. he sort of starts it when he loses onsen on ice, and there’s a glimmer of development in episode 9, but it’s all just tossed out the window.

yurio starts off the season saying things like “i won, so what does it matter?” when victor tries to give him advice to improve. he’s willing to practice harder in the interest of winning, which is cool (but it’s not like any other skater in the show isn’t practicing hard??? yuuri literally goes to practice to work off his own anxiety, he practices so much), but instead of like actively acknowledging that other people are good skaters who maybe deserve to win, too, he just keeps... focusing on himself. he calls yuuri a farm animal to his fiancé’s face, says he’s good for nothing, shoves his feet in the face of a fellow athlete who’s clearly just had an anxiety attack in public, mocks another one who’s also just had a public breakdown, and the whole thing with his hidden admiration for yuuri doesn’t even work when you consider that he doesn’t want yuuri to keep competing for yuuri’s sake — he wants it so that he can beat yuuri.

???

yurio’s agape arc just doesn’t work, either, he skates like maybe once thinking “oh people are nice to me” but he doesn’t reciprocate that off the ice. it doesn’t work. it’s unconvincing. the story also drops the narrative threads of yuuri’s stamina vs. yurio’s, where they keep talking about how yurio doesn’t have as much stamina etc etc and yurio already pushes himself to his breaking point in ep9 — imo it would have been way more interesting to examine yurio trying to push himself even further and having to learn his limits and learn he still has a long way to grow. there’s no indication that he has learned any of this. he just gets justified for his shitty behavior and his “winning is everything” attitude and it’s. obnoxious. we don’t see any development of the agape storyline off the ice, and i’m fairly unconvinced we saw it on the ice too, but that’s a different story.

this is then only solidified in the welcome to the madness manga where yurio cannot handle victor and yuuri having attention for literally five minutes, even though yurio has just won the grand prix final, and pulls “no i have to surprise the audience more”

so like, i get that he’s fifteen and fifteen year olds can be shitty but he’s also a fictional character and from a storytelling perspective there’s just nothing satisfying about this and nothing that in any way actually lends itself to yurio’s growth. they threw in otabek to get yurio to cheer for another skater, but yurio still beats otabek and is still shitty towards yuuri. a really interesting way to get yurio to confront his agape and get some actual growth would be to have otabek beat him, and i hope we see that in upcoming content.

i think it was supposed to be something about yurio seeing that other people are good, too, but it’s not done well. it focuses too much on yuuri with not enough respect given to either character and doesn’t develop yurio’s attitude wrt skating or other skaters in general, which he needed. again, i don’t believe that otabek counts here. “oh good, another score higher than the pig’s.” it also arguably had to do with yurio seeing he has room to grow; again, in my opinion, not done well. yurio needed something more than just being annoyed that he didn’t win by enough.

like the narrative arc literally accomplishes nothing. he finishes the series just as stuck on “winning is everything” as he was when he started. there’s no understanding of why yurio even enjoys skating beyond that he’s good at it and wins a lot. i’m not invested.

anyway VERY LONG STORY SHORT i totally agree that it just didn’t work and did no one any favors. yurio got justified for his shitty attitude with “as long as i win it’s fine and also i just want to beat everyone else so people know how great i am” (like i truly don’t care if yurio is just mad that he lost the free skate so he feels “unsatisfied” with winning at the gpf, i truly don’t) and yuuri got screwed over in the narrative process for a lesson he never needed to learn in the first place so that sayokubo could avoid “predictable” writing. they’re better writers than this. it’s disappointing.

all of this is without the bullshit scoring at the grand prix final but kdhjfgsdj it’s fine IT’S FINE. as long as the movie and/or possible season 2 is done well, i’ll get over it.

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND March 29, 2019  - DUMBO, UNPLANNED, THE BEACH BUM, HOTEL MUMBAI

This is going to be another weekend where I haven’t really seen any of the wide releases except for a few that opened limited first. Next week will probably be the same as I head to Las Vegas for CinemaCon and will miss most of the bigger press screenings.

Sadly, I would have loved to have seen Tim Burton’s DUMBO (Disney) in time to review it for you, as I am generally a fan of Disney’s classic animated movies (vs. the Jeffrey Katzenberg wave from the ‘90s, most of which I still haven’t seen), as I am a fan of Tim Burton and much of the cast of this one. It includes Michael Keaton and Danny De Vito, both reuniting with Burton after Batman Returns, and Eva Green, who has appeared in a few of Burton’s recent movies… AND she once called me a “pervert.” (The story is funnier if I don’t explain why.) But the story of Dumbo is classic Disney in the sense that it reminds me of all the wonders of watching movies as a kid filled with joy and awe… as opposed to now where I always feel a sense of dread, wondering if a movie will be half as good as it hopes. Anyway, I’ll see this on Thursday night and maybe write something Friday if I’m up to it.

I’m less likely to see UNPLANNED (Pure Flix), a movie that I’m shocked even exists, let alone is being released into 1,000 theaters. This is almost like the polar opposite of the great Mike Leigh’s Vera Drake in that it’s a biopic about Abby Johnson, a Planned Parenthood clinic director who was so shaken by witnessing her first abortion (not her own) that she became an anti-abortion activist. Besides sounding like something out of Jordan Peele’s upcoming The Twilight Zone show, it’s also horrifying to think that the Pro-Life crowd is now trying to recruit the Christian Right to their cause through movies, one that received Pure Flix’s first R-rating, no less.

After premiering at SXSW, Harmony (Spring Breakers) Corine’s new movie THE BEACH BUM (NEON), starring Matthew McConaughey and a typically oddball cast including Snoop Dog, Zak Efron and Jonah Hill, will also open wide this weekend. I’ll probably try to catch this just cause I’m so curious about Corine’s oddball auteur sensibilities. Spring Breakers was actually a bit of an anomaly, and it was one of his few movies I actually liked, compared to something like Mister Lonely, which I found unwatchable despite its similarly-odd cast, which included Werner Herzog.

Then there are two movies expanding nationwide this weekend, both of which I’ve seen and enjoyed, the first of them being Anthony Maras’ directorial debut HOTEL MUMBAI (Bleecker Street), a terrific ensemble piece starring Dev Patel, Armie Hammer and Jason Isaacs – three actors I truly love – about the terrorist attacks on the luxurious Hotel Taj in 2008. I was really impressed with how Maras and his cast and crew tell this harrowing story that’s not quite on par as Peter Greengrass’ United 93 but has a similar impact as you watch it and see how these amazing people came together to prevent even more people from dying. I also should point out that the primarily Indian cast beyond Patel are also excellent, showing there’s a lot of talent coming from India that have yet to break out in a big way Stateside.

Focus will also expand Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre’s drama The Mustang into an unknown number of theaters, and I also recommend this movie if you have an opportunity to see it. It’s a wonderful movie starring Belgian actor Matthias Schoenaerts (Rust and Bone) as a convict who finds a way to fight against his anger issues and violent tendencies by training a wild horse in the prison’s program. Since I haven’t seen the other three movies above, as of this writing, I recommend seeking out Hotel Mumbai or The Mustang if they’re playing wherever you live.

LIMITED RELEASES

I was a bad boy this weekend and didn’t watch any of the screeners I was supposed to watch, so that means I’ve only seen one of the movies opening in select cities this weekend, and that was Kent Jones’ DIANE (IFC Films), which played at Tribeca last year where it won two awards. It stars Mary Kay Place as a Massachusetts woman named Diane, who puts most of her time into helping others in her big family over herself while also dealing with her son Brian’s (Jake Lacy) ongoing addiction that has him going in and out of rehab. Personally, I found it a slog when I saw it at Tribecalast year.

Opening in New York (Village East and Alamo Drafthouse, the latter a part of their Drafthouse Recommends series) and L.A. (three Laemmle theaters)  is Sophie Lorain’s French coming-of-age comedy SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Comedy Dynamics), a movie that I haven’t gotten around to watching the screener, as of this writing, but what a great title, huh? It stars Marguerite Bouchard, Romane Denis and Rose Adam as three teenage girls exploring their first taste of freedom, all three of them in love with the guy who works at “Toy Depot” – a sex shop -- where they each apply for part-time jobs.

Also opening in select cities is Alison Klayman’s documentary THE BRINK (Magnolia) which follows former Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon through the 2018 mid-term elections as the controversial Breitbart founder tries to reinvent himself by getting involved in the European Parliamentary Elections of 2019 with his “global populist movement.” I’ll be curious to see how this compares to Errol (The Fog of War) Morris’ American Dharma, which premiered during film festivals last September but (as far as I know) still hasn’t been released yet. I’m not even sure it found distribution but Bannon is not a very popular figure among American liberals (for good reason), so I can’t imagine many critics would approve of either film.

This week’s Saban Films’ offering is Sarah Daggar Nickson’s thriller A VIGILANTE, starring Olivia Wilde as an abused woman who sets a course to help victims rid themselves of their domestic abusers while also hunting down her husband, whom she needs to kill in order to truly be free. It will play in select theaters Friday after a month on DirecTV.

Downton Abbey director Michael Engler reunites with Downton writer/creator Julian Fellowes who adapted Laura Moriarty’s bestselling book The Chaperone (PBS Distribution Masterpiece Films). The amazing Haley Lu Richardson (Split) plays Louise Brooks before she became a movie sensation in the ‘20s and is just a student in Wichita, Kansas. When she is sent to New York to study with a dance troupe for the summer, her mother requires a chaperone, a role taken on by the by-the-books Norma Carlisle (Elizabeth McGovern).  This witty period piece opens Friday at New York’s Landmark West 57 and Quad Cinema and then expands to L.A.’s Laemmle Royal, Playhouse 7 and Town Center 5 on April 5.

The Discovery Channel is also giving Ross (Born into Brothels) Kauffman’s new documentary Tigerlanda release in New York on Friday just a day before it premieres on the cable channel Saturday. It’s a film about a group of Russians trying to protect the last Siberian tigers from extinction, and it’s produced by Fisher Stevens of the Oscar-winning The Cove.

Cocaine Cowboys director Billy Corben returns with the doc Screwball (Greenwich), another film set in Miami, this one that looks into Major League Baseball’s doping scandal and how it affected New York Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez. It opens in select cities following its debut at TIFF last year.

The makers of The ABCs of Evil, Tim League and Ant Simpson, return with The Field Guide to Evil, a horror anthology featuring short films by eight (actually nine) foreign horror filmmakers telling folktales about myth and lore, including Peter Strickland (Berberian Sound Studio), Can Evrenol (Baskin), Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz (Goodnight Mommy) and Agnieszka Smoczynska (The Lure). I missed this movie at Fantasia last year (‘cause I didn’t go) but it will be opening in most Alamo theaters (about 40 nationwide) on Friday.

This week’s Bollywood release, opening in about 100 theaters nationwide, is Thiagarajan Kumararaja’s thriller Super Deluxe (Prime Media), the second film from the director who won the Indira Gandhi Award for Best Debut Film at the 59thNational Film Awards in India. It’s a film about how fate messes with the life of a group of people, as fate is wont to do.

Renowned indie distributor Jeff Lipsky’s seventh feature as a director, The Last (Plainview Pictures), will open in New York at the Angelika and CMX New York on Friday, then will expand to other cities including L.A. on April 26. It involves a large Jewish family of four generations learning that their 92-year-old matriarch, a Holocaust survivor (Rebecca Schull) has a secret that shocks the entire family.

Opening in L.A. at the Laemmle Music Hall is the Holocaust drama Sobibor (Samuel Goldwyn Films) from reputed Russian actor/director Konstantin Khabenskiy (he appeared in Timur Bekmambetov’s Wanted and Nightwatch), playing Soviet prisoner Alexander Perchersky, who led a rebellion at the Nazi’s Polish death camp Sobibor in 1943 in order to escape, freeing hundreds of Jews.

As a counterpoint to Unplanned, there’s Josh Huber’s romantic comedy Making Babies (Huber Brothers) about a couple played by Eliza Couple and Steve Howey who spent five years trying to have kids, so they start exploring other medical and spiritual ways to conceive a child. The movie also stars Ed Begley Jr. and the late Glenne Headly and will open in select cities.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Besides playing at the Egyptian in L.A. (see above), John Lee Hancock’s THE HIGHWAYMEN will be available on the Netflix streaming service after playing in select theaters for a couple weeks. I finally caught it last week, and really enjoyed it. It stars Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson as former Texas rangers Frank Hamer and Maney Gault, recruited by the Governor of Texas (Kathy Bates) to hunt down and kill Bonnie and Clyde, whose crime and killing spree has gotten out of hand. Hamer and Gault travel across stateliness trying to find them, following the different clues left behind. This is definitely my kind of movie, not just due to the subject matter, but also seeing such great actors as Costner (possibly the last of the bonafide movie stars?) and Harrelson taking on such great roles to show a different side of the story than the one mostly known from the Warren Beatty movie. I really enjoyed both actors’ performances and the general tone of the film, although I do feel that it was a little too long and drawn-out and not in a good way ala David Fincher’s Zodiac. But it does pay off, and it’s a shame that more people won’t be able to see this on the big screen because the film looks great due to the cinematography by John Schwartzman. I’ll also give a shout-out to my pal Johnny McPhail who plays the farmer who witnesses one of Bonnie and Clyde’s brutal murders. Rating: 7.5/10

Also, Friday sees the return of Santa Clarita Diet for its third season, again with Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant. 

LOCAL FESTIVALS OF NOTE

The big festival starting in New York this week is the Film Society of Lincoln Center’s annual New Directors/New Films, which always has interesting stuff although it’s definitely getting more indie and esoteric in recent years. It kicks off tonight with Chinonye Chukwu’s prison-set drama Clemency, starring Alfre Woodard and Aldis Hodge, which recently won the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance. The festival’s Centerpiece Is Alejandro Landes’s Monos, another Sundance prize-winner, starring the wondrous Julianne Nicholson as an engineer who travels to the South American jungle and is taken captive by teenage guerillas. The Closing Night film on April 6 is Pippa Bianco’s Share– ALSO a Sundance prize-winner! – which deals with sexual assault and the role of the internet, something which seems very relevant and pertinent. There’s a lot of interesting foreign films and a good amount from women filmmakers in this year’s line-up, which you can read more about here.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This weekend, the Metrograph begins its Total Kaurismäki Show, as in Finish filmmaker Aki Kaurismäki, who has been making festival-winning films for almost 40 years and has YET to have a film nominated for an Oscar. This Friday, the series begins with some of the director’s lesser-seen ‘80s movies Hamlet Goes Business  (1987),Calamari Union  (1985) and Crime and Punishment (1983), as well as Shadows in Paradise  (1986), Ariel  (1988) and then the 1990 film The Match Factory on Saturday. This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph  offering is Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner: The Final Cut  (1982/2007) and Playtime: Family Matinees (which has become my idea of comfort food in terms of cinema) is showing Abbot and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde  (1953). Sadly, I’ll be out of town on Tuesday when the Metrograph is presenting Claire Denis’ The Intruder (2004) with a QnA by Ms. Denis who will also introduce No Fear, No Die (1990) right afterwards. (If you also can’t make this night then never fear as BAM is beginning a full-on Denis retrospective, which you can read more about below.)

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Tarantino’s reopened rep theater continues to kill it with a single screening of Mike Nichols’ 1966 film Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, on Weds. afternoon. This week’s double features are John Boorman’sPoint Blank  (1967) and The Outfit (1973) on Weds. and Thurs., Fellini’sLa Strada (1954) – one of my personal faves – and Il Bidone  (1955) on Friday and Saturday, then the ‘30s musicals Dames and Footlight Paradeon Sunday and Monday. The weekend’s one-offs are midnight screenings of Kill Bill Volume 1on Friday and the comedy anthology Amazon Women on the Moon (1987) on Saturday. The weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is The Black Stallion (1979) and there will be a special 20thanniversary screening of the Wachowski’s The Matrixon Monday. Tuesday night’s GRINDHOUSE double feature is two directed by Roger Corman -- The Trip (1967) and The Wild Angels (1966).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Bob & Wray: A Love Story continues with a double feature of Virtue  (1932) and Viva Villa (1934) on Weds., a reshowing of Frank Capra’s Lost Horizon (1937) on Thursday as well as a Fay Wray double feature of Once to Every woman (1934) and They Met in a Taxi  (1936). Friday sees a reshowing of the double feature of The Mystery of the Wax Museum and The Vampire Bat, both from 1933, and a double feature of Lee Tracy movies, Doctor X (1932) and Carnival  (1935). On Saturday, there’s a special screening of the early Fay Wray film The Wild Horse Stampede with piano accompaniment, plus a double feature of John Ford’s The Whole Town’s Talking  (1935) and Frank Capra’s  You Can’t Take It With You  (1938), both written by Robert Riskin. This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is the Disney animated classic Bambi (1942).

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Besides a Weds. double feature of John Lee Hancock’s new movie The Highwaymen with his 2002 baseball film The Rookie starring Dennis Quaid, the Egyptian begins Noir City: Hollywood – The 21stAnnual Los Angeles Festival of Noir, running all weekend. It begins Friday with the double feature of Trapped (1949) and The File of Thelma Jordon  (1950), continues Saturday with Appointment with Danger (1951) and Shdow on the Wall (1950), Sunday is Sudden Fear and The Narrow Margin, followed on Monday by City That Never Sleeps and 99 River Street from 1953 and on Tuesday with Playgirl and Hell’s Devil Acre, both from 1954. (This series will continue next week as well.)

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

On Saturday night, BAM will start a new series called “Beyond the Canon” (pairing a classic with a more recent film which it inspired) with a double feature of Anna Rose Holmer’s The Fits (2015) and Peter Weir’s Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975). At the same time, BAM is kicking off Strange Desire: The Films of Claire Denis, which will run until April 9 and will show some of the French filmmaker’s best films, including Beau Travail (1999), White Material  (2009), 35 Shots of Rum and more recent films like her upcoming English language debut High Life, starring Robert Pattinson.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

On Thursday, MOMI is having a special presentation of Alexandre Rockwell’s 1992 film In the Soup, starring Steve Buscemi, Stanley Tucci, Seymour Cassel, Jennifer Beals, Carol Kane and Jim Jarmusch as part of the 9thAnnual Queens World Film Festival with Rockwell in discussion with former director (and QWFF Spirit of Queens honoree) David Schwartz. To prepare for Mike Leigh’s fantastic new film Peterloo, MOMI is also presenting Past Presence: Mike Leigh’s Period Films, showing the master’s earlier films Topsy Turvy (1999), Mr. Turner (2014) and Vera Drake (2004). It will include a preview screening of Peterloonext Wednesday with Mike Leigh in person!

IFC CENTER (NYC)

I guess Weekend Classics: Early Godard is continuing this week after all with a 35mm print of Weekend (1967) while the winter season of Late Night Favorites ends with Alejandro Jodorowsky’s The Holy Mountain (1973) as well as David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive (2001).

MOMA (NYC):

Modern Matinees: B is for Bacall continues with Douglas Sirk’s 1956 film Written on the Wind on Weds, Vincente Minelli’s Designing Woman  (1957) Thursday and Young Man with a Horn (1950) on Friday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

This week’s Friday midnight offering is Mandy director Panos Costamos’ 2010 debut Beyond the Black Rainbow.

Next week, it’s a doozy of an April opener with Warner Bros’ Shazam! taking on Paramount’s Pet Sematary and the STX drama The Best of Enemies trying to pick up any remaining scraps of business. I’ve only seen one of them.

[alanbastos]

SÓLSTAFIR "LÁGNÆTTI" (Official Video) from Bowen Staines on Vimeo.

Winner of Best Music Video at the 2015 Hlustendaverðlaunin (Listener's Choice Awards) in Reykjavík, Iceland. 2.6.15

From filmmakers Bowen Staines and Gunnar B. Guðbjörnsson (Sólstafir, ‘Fjara’; The Vintage Caravan, ‘Expand Your Mind’; Skálmöld, ‘Gleipnir’; Ólafur Arnalds, ‘Living Room Songs’ and “Where’s The Snow?!”), comes a brand new music video for Iceland’s masters of psychedelic metal, Sólstafir. The video is for the song, ‘Lágnætti’, from Sólstafir’s critically acclaimed new album, ÓTTA.

—OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE—

The conceptualization for the video began in May of 2014 and started production in late July. The entire nine and a half-minute video was shot over the course of two twenty-hour days in Iceland’s West Fjörds, with a production crew of less than five people.

Although the core of ‘Lágnætti’ was shot on the Canon 60D and 550D, a wide variety of cameras were used, including: the Canon 5D, three GoPro Hero3s, a Krasnogorsk K-3 16mm, and an Apple iPhone 5. The film was then flown across the Atlantic to Toronto, Ontario, where I edited it over the next two months.

Care was taken to preserve the feeling of the song and lyrics, as well as the atmosphere of the location we chose to shoot: a fjord, Kollafjörður, about 20 minutes from Hólmavík. With a history of several rather “post-production heavy” music videos under our belt up to this point, I thought it very important to make this new video free of any special effects or post-production hoodwinks – relying instead on the location to supply its own special effects.

Indeed, the fjord supplied her own special effects... in the form of these beautiful, white seeds that constantly fluttered through our set, two perfect, sunny days for the duration of the production, and last but not least, the Arctic Tern.

A large portion of the video was shot bordering the largest Arctic Tern nesting ground in the area – and anyone who’s spent time around these birds knows how aggressive, comically bad-tempered, and noisy they can be. The words “production halting” also come to mind, as nearly every take started and ended with one angry tern after another swooping into frame, hell-bent on snatching eyebrows off someone’s face. They were also comically un-fond of our camera drone, constantly dive-bombing the propellers, and forcing us to pull out of countless shots early for fear of seeing half a dozen injured animals, as well as the investment of our dear friend Arnar at Dronefly.is go crashing into the ocean.

In the end, these birds played a much larger part in the video than either Gussi or I had intended, and definitely for the good. In my opinion, the birds are an unintentional, but vividly endearing character – an unplanned element that truly brings Kollafjörður to life.

Another somewhat unintentional character in ‘Lágnætti’, is this late-60’s GAZ model - the grumpy (yet sensitive), bright red DIY project, fondly known only as “The Russian”. Cobbled together over the years with various parts from all over the globe, this unique vehicle played a large role in the video, as well as lightening the mood on set whenever things started getting stressful. “The Russian” topped out at about 20kmh, and you had to manually hand-pump the gas from a metal can in the trunk, up a fuel line running over the top of the back seat. Never a dull character, “The Russian” exists to remind us all: “HAMINGJAN FELST EKKI Í NÝJUM BÍL”, or “HAPPINESS IS NOT A NEW CAR”.

-Bowen Staines, Director 10.6.14

DontPanicIceland.com Season-of-Mist.com Solstafir.net

—SÓLSTAFIR OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE—

It is with great pride and excitement that we present to you the new video for our song 'Lágnætti'. The video was directed by the same directing team of Bowen Staines and Gunnar B. "Gussi" Guðbjörnsson, who brought you the amazing ‘Fjara’ video 3 years ago, so the standard was already set sky high. But it is our belief that we have outdone ourselves, with the help of the good people from Hólmavík and Kollafjörður in the West Fjords of Iceland. Enjoy!

[thecasualfuryoffreedom-blog-blog]

 I got “Shelbie” in the Spring of 2009. Wasn’t planning on getting a St. Bernard. But seeing how I was intertwined in the pet business, it just kinda happened. Most of the best “rescue” stories begin along those lines. I’ve worked with pet rescues for years. There are some heart-wrenching stories out there, too. Interestingly, I’ve found many owners of rescue pets often imagine or concoct these atrocious stories of abuse, they adamantly INSIST their pet’s been severely abused. Maybe it’s a way to make us feel more needed? More heroic? Maybe we just like those happy endings. I didn’t have to imagine “Shelbie’s” story of horrors. No, we were filled in with great detail, down to the cigarette scars she bore on her chest to the faded scar around her neck from where she was chained to a tree. At about four months old.

The foster mom gave me the run down as my new “pup” took her place in the backseat of my tiny Ford Focus. Legs crossed, she sat like a “lady” I noticed, all 100+ lbs of her (I would come to find that’s precisely how she sat the rest of her life, like a “lady”.)The foster mom told me how “Shelbie” was confiscated after her owners were arrested for “demented animal abuse”. I cringed, glancing back at my new friend, while she sat patiently. The kind woman handed me a couple of “Shelbie’s” meager belongings, one being the plush “skin” of a squirrel with no stuffing, apparently “her FAVORITE!” As we drove off, I turned to look at this gentle giant and gave her a little love rub behind her velvety ear, “You’re gonna LOVE your new boy!” I promised, regarding my then nine-year-old son. 

How on earth did I end up with a St. Bernard? One busy Saturday at the groom shop, a St. Bernard Rescue “mom” brought in her brood- five MASSIVE BEASTS. Except for one, I noticed. She was little, “lady-like”, and had the sweetest, freckly-face I’d ever seen. She was shy but melted when I scratched under her soft chin. When the St. Bernie “parent” came to collect her pack, I mentioned how ridiculously adorable the lil’ one was, how I was smitten. Apparently, I even made the comment, “If ya ever get rid of her, you let me know!” But I wasn’t SERIOUS SERIOUS! About four months later, she let me know. (Her older St.’s were kinda bullying “Shelbie” and because of her traumatic background, the woman felt it was best she go to a different home…I agreed.)

  It was love at first sight when “Miss Shelbie” met my son. Immediately, she let it be known that was “her boy”. Despite her enormous size, she was incredibly gentle and conscious of his small frame, always watching herself even when the rough-housing got outta hand. “Shelbie” quickly nominated herself to be his forever buddy, his protector and sleeping companion. However, the instant trust and confidence she placed in us from the start, didn’t come easily to her in the presence of newcomers. She was quite wary of guests or strangers who made their way to her scene. With bowed head and eyes cast upward, she’d seek refuge under our large marble table and watch and wait patiently until the unknown people left the premise. (God love my mom…It bothered her so that “Shelbie” wouldn’t warm up to her so she would come into our home several times a week and sit on the couch with a piece of bread in her hand, coaxing, willing her to please just come out. Eventually, “Shelbie” did. And, for the rest of her life, she ALWAYS got her piece of bread before bed.)

This goofy, ginormous “pup” slowly began to trust, often looking to my son or myself for reassurance or guidance when it came to “strangers”, but once she did, that person was in for LIFE. Over the years, it was never lost on me how this sweet, precious soul would learn, many times by blind faith, on how to trust people again, how to forgive and not hold grudges or blame all of us for a few bad apples. That was no simple fete, I’m sure. Cruelly, my sweet girl was BURNED WITH CIGARETTES for the sick amusement of others! But never flinched when I’d stroke her scars. That’s how much she trusted me. HUNDREDS of times she was whacked on the head with Wiffle Ball bats by previous owners, and while she cowered when unknown people would reach out to touch the top of her head, she delighted from my daily rubs. That’s how much she trusted me.  If I gave her the “ok” regarding a guest, eventually that’s all it took. She trusted me. 

Over the years, during some of the hardest of my life, she was right by my side. Lovingly, patiently, non-judgemental, encouraging…the tables turned. It was now I who was looking to her for strength and support. Many nights, my son was with his father and I was alone with dark thoughts and the nightmares of addiction. Like a lion, she remained at my side, reminding me that no, I was not alone. For hours, sometimes days, she would snuggle in beside me, in her silent, lady-like manner, and just be there until I was again ready for the world. One look into those big, beautiful yet wounded eyes, she reminded me so often that I wasn’t the only one who experienced pain. She dealt with hers but loved me enough to let me lick my wounds as long as it took. I’m not goin’ anywhere, those eyes promised me.

“Shelbie” was an easy dog, always went with the flow: We’re gettin’ a new house? AGAIN? No prob! Grooming me AGAIN? Fine!…She was so patient. To me, she represented so much: the best and worst of humanity and how to overcome and thrive. How to forgive even the most unimaginable things and move on. How to be grateful for the present and remain content in it, even when the world around you seems to tell you to do the opposite. As an addict, I have some pretty dark, unfathomable stories. And she loved me through it ALL. Every night of her life, after making sure “her people” were settled in bed, “Shelbie” would take “her spot”, cross her legs, and let out a loud, peaceful sigh. 

Last night was rough. As a pet parent, I knew this day would come, and as someone who is familiar, professionally, with all the telltale signs, I had a feeling it would be soon. But even my “soon” couldn’t have prepared me for how soon. It never will. “Shelbie”, who has lived a fairly long life for a St. Bernard, was showing “the signs” and I hated it. After a restless, terrible night, she quietly left this world in one of her favorite spots- in my bedroom, in front of my door. No matter how many scenarios of death I’ve been through, or how I knew this day would arrive, it never prepared me for what I’d actually feel. I was crushed. The second I realized she was gone, my son opened the door. We stood there and witnessed this news together, devastated.

I sat on the couch, making arrangements to have her picked up, and noticed the fireplace- her fireplace, the cool, marble area you could find her snoozing 9 outta 10 times a day. It was bare…Like when anyone passes, for me anyway, this wave of guilt washes over me: Why didn’t I do this, say this more, etc…For her, it was: Why didn’t I walk her last night? I KNEW I should’ve! Why didn’t I love on her more? Why was I so impatient when it took her so long to “do her business”? Why didn’t I…(I could fill in the blank all day) There’s a life lesson here we all need to pay attention to.

  After the arrangements were made, I went to make myself some coffee. En route, I stepped on that ol’, shredded squirrel skin she loved so dearly. That was the ONE POSSESSION she cherished, the one toy she would play with, tossing it up in the air and amazing herself by retrieving it. Over and over and over. That ol’ crusty, raggedy squirrel…I’ll treasure it always.

*Thank you, “Miss Shelbie” for everything, but most of all for sticking it out, being my friend, giving me confidence, encouraging me, and loving me. No one will ever know the extent of our crazy, unplanned, beautiful bonds, but I will. And I’ll never forget. Thank you, Dear, for rescuing ME.

  SHE Rescued ME  I got "Shelbie" in the Spring of 2009. Wasn't planning on getting a St. Bernard. But seeing how I was intertwined in the pet business, it just kinda happened.