#so I end up overdoing it in an attempt to clarify

[heyclickadee]

So, I wanted to clarify something here, because going through the notes made me realize that this really didn’t come across the way I meant. This wasn’t really intended as a criticism of the show (though you can take it as one), except in a sort of schrodinger’s criticism way, where it’s merely an observation if Tech is still planned to come back but can also double as criticism in the negative sense it if does turn out to have been planned as a death (I’m not yet convinced of this). I am simply pointing out that it isn’t written as a death as evidence he is intended to be alive.

The thing is, I think it’s the story they are still telling. I think a reunion is still on the table. I don’t think what we got was a return that was planned and abandoned—I’m actually not even fully convinced that CX-Tech was planned and abandoned—but rather a return and reunion that’s been set up and just hasn’t happened yet. Because the set up continues into and through the final episode, and there’s nothing in the epilogue that precludes it from happening in the 15 to 17 year gap.

(Further clarification under the cut. I’m sorry, this got really long because I got sucked into over-explaining my point of view to a kind of ridiculous degree. Short version is that I think the reason it isn’t written as a death at any point and that the reason Tech hasn’t come back yet is because there’s more story to tell. I will yap about this for days. Be warned of yapping.)

For one example of what I mean by set up, in this case a kind of structural set up, take, say, Crosshair’s and Tech’s relationship. It’s the relationship that’s left the most explicitly in bad terms at the end of “Kamino Lost.” Hunter and Wrecker both offer Crosshair olive branches in one way or another, Omega lays, “You’re still they’re brother Crosshair. You’re my brother, too,” on the table; and Echo doesn’t say anything but he is standing next to Wrecker and staring expectantly at Crosshair with his big sad eyes hoping Crosshair will come with them. Crosshair doesn’t take any of them up on it, but, “Consider us even,” (a statement directed at Hunter even if he’s responding to Omega thanking him for saving AZ) buries a lot of the animosity. The relationships aren’t healed, but there is a kind of uneasy truce.

Tech, on the other hand, just gets on the ship. He doesn’t stay past when Crosshair rejects Wrecker’s offer to come with them. Potentially because he’s even more upset than he’s letting on.

Meaning that the last exchange Crosshair and Tech have that isn’t Tech spouting exposition is this:

Crosshair: Why are you defending me?

Tech: I am not. Understanding you does not mean that I agree with you.

From there, on Tech’s side, Tech lets on that he’s still struggling with the entire Crosshair situation via the conversation with Omega in “The Crossing” and the conversation or conversations Phee references in “Juggernaut.” He’s the one who pushes the team into rescuing Crosshair the second he learns Cross did something to get on the empire’s bad side and landed in the clutches of a mad scientist who got kicked out of the Republic Science Corp for cruel and unnecessary experiments. And of course it’s largely because he loves Crosshair like he loves the rest of the family and, sure, he’ll respect Crosshair’s agency (to make stupid decisions) but he’s not about to leave Crosshair to die. But I also think there’s potential for it to be partly driven by the fact that he knows they left things off on bad terms, and he wants a chance to fix things if Crosshair is open to it. Then, of course, he falls without getting that chance or even a line to close out his relationship with Crosshair.

On Crosshair’s side, we have Crosshair making the choice to stay with the Empire at the end of season one. This leads him to Barton IV, which leads him to Tantiss, which leads throwing away the only chance he could have had to escape Tantiss on his own to warn the others about Hemlock, only for it to be the thing that leads directly to Tech falling because that message is the only reason Tech knew he needed rescuing in the first place. (I think this is why Crosshair doesn’t bring it up in the argument with Hunter, from a Watsonian perspective, anyway. He doesn’t exactly have a limit in arguments; this is a man who told a child he’d both kill and die for that he’d leave her for dead if he had the chance hoping it would be enough to get her to leave him. The only reason he wouldn’t use Tech’s sacrifice to get at Hunter is because he blames himself too much to have the heart for it.)

Crosshair never deals with or confronts this, he never even approached it, until the very last episode of the series where the show makes it explicit that a big part of his problem is that he feels responsible for what happened to Tech and to clone force 99 as a squad. “Clone Force 99 died with Tech,” is the preamble to Crosshair calling for Plan 99 and declaring that he deserves death and worse—and the only pushback he gets is Wrecker telling him that they all know—that Tech knew—things are dangerous, so they’re not letting him do this alone. Crosshair never gets over his guilt over Tech, and he never takes the statement that he deserves to die over it back. And when you’ve got a character who has spent the bulk of the show implicitly suicidal suddenly declare himself explicitly suicidal right before he tries to get himself killed six or seven times, you really need him to bring him to a point where he explicitly wants to live in order for him to feel fully cooked (unless it’s not time for that yet and you have more plans).

That’s where we leave that relationship. Completely unresolved, with unfinished business in both sides.

And that’s not even getting into how CX-Tech—still a possibility in my book, since CX-2 is never revealed on screen as not Tech, and since they killed the man two other times before he popped up fine five minutes later, meaning I’ve got my doubts as to whether he’s actually dead—actually could push this unfinished, unresolved relationship further, how it works really well if he’s the shadow of Crosshair’s guilt—not Cross’s dark side—that Crosshair hasn’t overcome yet. That could be its own post. Bht just focusing on what we know for sure, that Tech and Crosshair left things off in bad terms and never got to deal with that—

The thing is, you can have a story where a relationship is cut off with no closure and left with unfinished business. You can! But if you do, you have to explore that. You still have to have a resolution. In this case, if we wanted to leave no room for Tech to return, that would look like Crosshair explicitly coming to terms with the fact that he’s not going to get the chance to fix things with Tech, and perhaps being dragged kicking and screaming to the knowledge that Tech thought the sacrifice was worth it for his sake and that Tech wouldn’t want him to be miserable.

That isn’t hard to do, and there was time to do it if they scrapped a return plan halfway through writing the third season. I’d want an entire half season arc about it, but all it would take is one direct conversation between, say, Omega and Crosshair, where Omega is finally coming to terms with the idea that she is never getting her big brother back (something she never does—you can actually make the argument she thinks he’s alive up through the end of the series) and trying to get Crosshair to see that Tech falling wasn’t his fault and that Tech wouldn’t blame him.

Omega: Tech thought saving you was worth the risk. I did, too.

Crosshair: What if you were both wrong?

Omega: I wasn’t. And Tech seldom was.

There. Three lines, and depending on how you play Crosshair’s reaction, you wrap up Crosshair’s guilt about Tech, his relationship with Tech, his reconciliation with the batch as a whole (because now he’s reconciled with the one who’s missing), and (if you get his response right) his reconciliation with himself. Clarify Omega’s stance on Tech’s status. Replace the meditation b-plot in the Fennec episode with Crosshair dealing with this.

Or, put it in “Point of No Return,” in the scene where Omega makes the decision to sacrifice herself. Have her invoke Tech as a reason why why she’s going to go sacrifice herself to save Pabu, like Tech sacrificed himself to save them, and frame Crosshair stepping aside and allowing her to do so as him coming to terms with Tech’s sacrifice, that part of it was to save him, and that he’s going to pay it forward by making sure that Omega’s sacrifice works and that she is going to get a chance to come back from it. Then, in “Juggernaut,” retroactively and posthumously put closure in Tech’s mouth by expanding on Phee’s interactions with Crosshair and have her make it 100% clear to Crosshair that Tech would have never blamed him and had no remaining animosity towards him.

Or, hell, if you were planning on bringing the man back all the way up to the finale and then had to scrap it then, have the closure for the relationship between Crosshair and Tech come in that episode. Have there be a real rebuttal to Crosshair’s, “I destroyed our family so now I’m going to get myself killed over it,” moment. Have it come from Hunter, with Wrecker backing him up. Or visa versa. Have someone rebuff Crosshair and say (the more cleanly written equivalent of), “Clone Force 99 isn’t dead, and it’s more than just a squad. We’re a family. What do you think Tech sacrificed himself for? We’re going in together, and we’re coming out together, too.” Have a moment where Crosshair has the chance to kill himself for the sake of the others and then finds another way to help that doesn’t involve dying explicitly because throwing his life away would also be dishonoring what Tech gave and everything the rest of his family has worked towards so far.

It’s stuff that kind of writes itself if you are suddenly writing from the perspective that Tech is dead and you’ve abandoned a plan to bring him back, or if you never had one and always thought about him being dead. There are lots of options for giving that relationship closure that don’t require bringing Tech back!

Except they don’t take any of those options. Instead they:

1. Refuse to show us the moment when Crosshair learned about what happened to Tech. This allows them to sidestep one of many opportunities for reinforcing Tech’s death as a real thing that happened. And if he got the news from Omega, it also hides her feelings on what happened, meaning you can hide whether she thinks he’s alive or dead, and allows them to sidestep confirmation on Tech dying as told through our target audience POV character. There’s a reason to avoid this moment if you’re writing the character as alive but not bringing him back before the end of the series.

2. Remind us late in the last season that Tech was still struggling with Crosshair’s choices (“Tech told me all about your…sparkling personality.”) without doing anything to imply he got past that struggle.

3. Let Crosshair confront his guilt and despair over every other situation (Mayday, Barton IV, Howser, Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, and especially Omega), while refusing to let him engage with losing the brother who supposedly died on a mission to save him and letting that pain bubble under the surface until the very last episode where he declares that he’s going to go get himself killed over it. Crosshair never overcomes this. He’s never at peace with himself. He comes to understand that his family—Hunter and Omega in particular, in a moment that’s a beautiful reversal of the scene where he saves Omega at the end of “Kamino Lost”—trusts him with their lives and beyond, that Hunter trusts him with Omega’s life, which is a huge deal and fully reconciles his relationship with them…but he never reconciles with himself. Not even his sunshine baby sister Omega can help him do that. For all the progress he’s made, his self-estimation is still where he was at the end of “Confined.” He still thinks he deserves to suffer and die because he’s left thinking that the most selfless thing he ever did—sending that message from Tantiss knowing he’d be recaptured and tortured—was not enough to fix the one mistake that snowballed into Eriadu and Tech. We leave him there without processing any of that or bringing closure to his relationship with Tech. Every opportunity to do any of that was avoided. Fastidiously.

Meaning that the only way to actually resolve that relationship, the route into which the writing has kind of locked itself, is bringing Tech back and resolving it that way.

Now, I’m using the Crosshair and Tech relationship as an example, but there are so many examples in the series that are just like this. Avoiding closure, avoiding reactions that would reinforce the idea that Tech is gone, avoiding answers, avoiding resolution of plot points and character arcs to which Tech is connected, and consistently so. A clear death is the easiest thing in the world to confirm in show, there are a lot of lines and conventions that you kind of have to work to avoid if you’re coming at it from the perspective of writing a dead guy, and given that the season is stalling almost to its breaking point in the last half there was ample opportunity to fit them in. TBB avoids all of them.

When I say that it isn’t written as a death, I don’t mean that I think it’s a clumsily written non-death. I mean that it consistently, deliberately, through the end of the show, avoids categorization as a death. Dodging closure, resolution, even open discussion that could lead to clarification means space is left for Tech to come back. More than that, the sheer amount of setup, foreshadowing, and resolution that needs Tech to be present, since they didn’t resolve in his absence, requires him to show up alive in a future chapter in order for the story to work. Not as something they might come back to, but as something that needs to be revisited and almost has to be baked in in order for it to have been written like that in the first place. It’s like a slower, perhaps more intense version of Ahsoka’s “death” at the end of season two of Rebels and the handling of its aftermath. That’s the pattern it and all the handling of it afterwards fits.

So, again, not a return that was never planned, or was planned and scrapped, but a return that continued to be set up and just seems to have not happened yet. Whether it’s because it was always planned to be a story split across more than one show, or whether there was originally a one show plan that got split into two during production of this one (or maybe a hybrid version of these two ideas), I really think the reason we didn’t get a Tech return (or a clone rebellion, for that matter) is because it has a place in the next chapter of the story where it’s going to be allowed to breathe without being truncated or overshadowing the stuff around it.

Now, whether I’m even close to the right track remains to be seen, and if I am? Whether splitting this particular fakeout, if fakeout it is, across two shows was a good move is a whole other question (my personal opinion is that it has the potential to be incredible from a writing perspective and that I will probably have very few issues with it from that view if it turns out I’m right, but oh dear lord someone tell the Lucasfilm marketing team that the lack of disclosure makes for idiotic audience management). But that is my working theory and the framework from which I’m writing a lot of my posts.

But it’s also a slightly different angle than the framework the fandom is generally using, which means I forget how things are generally going to be read.

The thing with Tech, “Plan 99,” and its aftermath that I keep coming back to is that it isn’t written as a death. Not that’s it’s a badly written death, not that it’s a death I think shouldn’t have happened, but that it isn’t written as a death at all.

[a-simple-imagine]

Help! My Girlfriend just Fell Down The Alt - Right Supe Supremist Pipeline pt.2

Requested by anonymous: “could you write a cate hurt/comfort where unlike andre's coward ass u actually fix her 🫶 pls and tyy”

Pairing: Cate Dunlap x fem!reader

Words: 1.3k+

A/N - turned this request into part 2 of my other cate story because i'm obsessed with the idea of cate dating an empath. you don’t have to read the first part

WARNINGS - mention of murder, death and blood

PREV //

it's a bright sunny day but the air is polluted with the rich taste of fear; a chaotic blend of fear and anger. you don't know what to do. where to go. you thought you left this behind when you ran. your head aches. heart hammering in your chest. all around you students and faculty scramble in search of safety. Bodies litter the ground. blood drowns the lush green grass. and you are powerless to stop it. useless. this school housed so many heroes but your powers were far from useful. you're almost frozen in time. this very spot on the godu campus, your newfound home. waiting. waiting for the inevitable moment someone notices and you end up just another casualty.

it's so hard to focus with the swirling emotions that invade your head. every inch of your body burned with other people's pain. everyone was feeling so much; too much. it hurt. it felt like your brain might explode. you kinda wish it would. but despite it all your eyes settle on familiar blonde hair. beautiful blue eyes stained deep red. Cate. you had left so abruptly. perhaps you should be more apprehensive right now. but you feel no ill intentions.

"h-hey," it's a pathetic murmur restrained by the pounding in your head. She was your girlfriend and you could hardly say a word. You're not even sure what you could say to rectify this. murdering dean Shetty was one thing. a sad attempt at vengeance. it was hard enough to ignore but this? this came across as insane. this was too much. you had told the others you would deal with Cate not because you actually thought you could help but because you were scared of what they would do. Cate was public enemy one on the campus today.

"I've been looking for you," there's a tenderness to her voice. a softness she reserved for you; especially right now. her emotions are hard to shift through when mixed with so many others. too many others. but a deep anger settles over you. you know it's not directed at you. it's fighting with a desire to have you understand her point of view.

"you have to stop this cate," if only it was that straightforward. if words were enough this wouldn't have happened. you wouldn't have to beg your girlfriend to stop her lethal rampage. even if she physically was not the one killing. it's a weird position to be in. one that fills your stomach with a bottomless darkness pit... or maybe that was just the scene before you. either way, you felt nauseated.

"we're actually getting somewhere," there was an overwhelming weariness to her voice. She was clearly exhausted; struggling to stand straight as she clarified her frustration. you knew well the toll her powers took. that pang of fear every time you've watched her overdo it. you wonder how many people she has pushed into doing her bidding. how much her brain must hurt. how much she needs to rest. even how many people are dying under her authority. "people need to know what was going on here. We aren't just lab rats for Vought- we deserve respect."

"I agree," a flicker of surprise almost sends the blonde tumbling to the ground. "we deserve respect but this isn't how to get it. just stop and we can- we can figure this out." it takes everything in you to risk a step closer. pinpointing her feelings amongst the rest. it was a hazy feeling; tingly almost. you couldn't quite decipher what belonged to who still.

"Why can't you see that this is the only way," she implores. "it's the only way they'll listen."

"it's not worth it Cate," you express. "you're hurting innocent people-"

"they're not innocent." she snarls. Red-hot anger bursts through your veins. your jaw tenses. fist clenched. "you heard what Shetty said. they think we're freaks. they hate us-" You don't want to think about Shetty; you couldn't. it was too much. too taxing. the blood. so much blood. so much bitterness. an unsteady breath pushes its way past your lips.

"you're hurting me, Cate," you bark; fuelled by Cate's fear. her emotions were taking over. driving you forward. "all these emotions- all this fear. my head is on fire. it's too much. I can't- I can't handle it."

"I'm sorry," she sighed, dragging her eyes away. almost like she was unable to bear looking at the suffering she was causing. "I know this is hard for you, I wish it didn't have to be but this is the only way. I'm protecting us. I'm protecting you." you didn't need to be a mind reader to know Cate's intentions. her misguided desire for retribution. more fuelled by revenge for how she has been treated than a will to help people. she's explained it all already.

"Cate..." her name slips tenderly from your lips; biting back her fire that's burning inside. "I don't need protecting. I just- I need you." your desperate now. desperate for the pain to stop. for Cate to give up this crazy crusade. you wanted to go back to how things were. you wanted to hold her hand as you walked across campus to class each morning. wanted to surprise her with a cupcake after a hard day. cuddle up in bed while you watch the cheesiest movie known to man just because she enjoyed it. you wanted normal. you deserved that. you all did. "we can figure this out. I promise we can- just give me a chance." you continue. "I don't wanna lose you." you know she's hesitant by the way her eyes flicker to you and then away again. searching for a reason to deny you. to push you away further. her anger was no longer a raging fire but a muted flame as your words settled over her. "please," expressed softly. "we can get through this together." she could read your mind. She must know you are being genuine.

"Okay," the blonde mumbles, finally meeting your gaze. such pretty eyes even stained with abuse of power. "yeah," she nods a little; holding out her hand. you pause. it would mark a sign of trust. She didn't have her glove which meant that there was a possibility this was just a trick. if you take her hand she could make you do whatever she wanted. she could push you into believing her philosophy. She could kill you if she wanted. surely she wouldn't though? your girlfriend had never used her powers on you. She used to be all about consent. but you also thought she wasn't capable of murder and look at how that turned out. she was probably in your head listening. could hear your doubt. you watch a sadness wash over her face as she retracts her peace offering and in a panic, you roughly grab her hand. it's unexpected even by you. but you couldn't give up on her. you loved Cate, you wanted to trust her. you needed to trust that she was still good.

"I trust you" blurted out loudly. drowning in her anger. in her pain and fear. it's all so much. your legs buckle and it takes significant effort to stay upright. there is a glimpse of something unexplained in her eyes. Cate was the most important person to you. you struggle to watch your paths diverge before you have a chance to tell her your feelings. She probably knew. there was no hiding with Cate. not anymore. but she couldn't hide from you either. you can feel everything. our emotions expose true intentions. and even amongst all the dread, there was a warmth radiating through now like the sun breaking through dark clouds. She held bright feelings for you. you could feel her passion radiating.

"you... trust me?" Cate asks. her voice quiet. unsure.

"I trust you," you give her hand a gentle squeeze. "I just wanna help you- let me help you."

her eyes search yours for a moment before arms are wrapped around your shoulders and Cate falls against you. you stumble back under the weight of her body; the weight of her emotions. but you still hold on tight. chasing that beautifully warm feeling. "just me and you."

"Always," whispered softly.

[toffrox]

The Nico di Angelo Protection Squad

Read on Ao3

Summary:

Will must have known what Jason was doing, Jason was certain.

But at every move Jason made, Will simply took it in his stride. Sometimes he even had an understanding look in his eye like 'it's ok, I'm hitting on your little brother, I get it' or he'd back off for a little while with an easy shrug like 'whatever, I'm not relying on this one moment to make my move, I respect Nico's friend time'.

Jason wasn't sure whether to be infuriated or impressed.

He tried to explain this to Percy.

"Oh, no." Percy shook his head. "We are not backing down this easy." He grinned and held up a single golden drachma. "Time to call in an intimidation expert."

-

When rumours about Nico and Will start to spread around camp, Percy and Jason attempt to intimidate him. It doesn't go as planned.

Percy

It wasn't long after the end of the war against Gaia when the rumours started. Maybe two weeks, or three, at the most.

Even to Percy, oblivious as he usually was, they did not come as a surprise.

He was in the Athena cabin, dropping by to steal Annabeth away for a few hours, when he first heard them.

Jess and Daniel were sitting on the front steps, deep in the last couple of moves of a chess match when Percy entered the cabin. By the time he and Annabeth were leaving, they were resetting the board and gossiping idly.

"-no way they have a chance with Solace," Jess was saying. "He's totally got it bad for Nico."

"Nico?" Daniel said skeptically. "di Angelo?"

"Obviously." Jess huffed. "What other Nico is there at camp? Besides, have you seen those two together? They're as bad as-"

Annabeth tugged impatiently on Percy's hand, jerking his attention away. He threw her an incredulous glance as they stumbled across the green together, heading to the beach.

"Did you hear that?" Percy asked.

"Hear what?" said Annabeth, not looking back, still pulling him along.

"What Jess said. About Nico and Will Solace!"

"Not really. Was she saying that they need to hurry up and make out already?"

Percy spluttered in response.

"What? Are you surprised?" Annabeth shot him a look over her shoulder like, surely he couldn't be that stupid. Percy rolled his eyes.

"Well, no! Obviously not." Percy clarified. "Of course they would be adorable together. I just didn't realise it was like - camp gossip, already."

Annabeth shrugged. "The rumour mill works fast."

Percy sped up to a jog for a couple of steps so that they were walking towards the sea side by side.

"Should we be worried?" he asked.

Annabeth frowned at him, half amused, half puzzled.

"Why would we be worried?"

"I dunno, I just…" Percy scratched the back of his neck. "Nico doesn't really like being the centre of attention and like… Don't you think it's a little soon for them to be getting into a relationship?"

Annabeth barked out a laugh. "That is so none of our business, Seaweed Brain."

"What do you mean?" Percy complained. "I'm just looking out for him!"

Annabeth smirked and gave his hand another little tug. "You worry too much, Jackson. Leave the poor kid alone."

As she spoke, she reached up to tug her hair out of its ponytail, probably knowing that would distract him. It was irritatingly effective. She stopped walking for a moment to lean up and press her lips to his jaw.

Maybe she was right. He should stop worrying.

-

Except that a few days later, the worry crept back.

He and Nico were sitting at the Hades table together. Jason had already had breakfast since he'd been up early to go for a run, so it was just the two of them eating.

They were midway through the meal when a pair of Aphrodite campers breezed passed them. They were chattering excitedly, probably unaware of how loud they were being.

"Did you see them practicing archery together yesterday?" one of them was saying. "So. Cute."

"Oh my Gods, you have no idea. He is always finding excuses to ask for help in the infirmary just so they can spend more time together."

Percy watched Nico's shoulders stiffen and his eyes widen as they both realised who the Aphrodite kids were talking about.

Nico's head snapped up and he met Percy's eyes with something like panic. Percy tried to act casual, even as the blush overtook Nico's cheeks.

"It has been pretty busy in the infirmary lately." Percy blurted, attempting to absolve Nico of some of his mortification.

Instead, Nico's blush only deepened and he scowled down at his breakfast. He scoffed down the rest of his meal as hastily as he could and then stormed back to the Hades cabin without another word.

Percy's stomach sank.

-

"I just think that maybe we should talk to him, is all!" Percy was saying later that day. He was sat on one of the unused bunks in Cabin One, arms spread out in front of him as he tried to talk Jason onto his side. Jason sat on his chair, which he'd flipped around so his forearms were resting on the back.

"And say what?" Jason asked. "It's not his fault Aphrodite campers gossip."

"Duh." Percy agreed. "But like, don't you think we should be making sure that he knows that this kind of thing might freak Nico out? He probably doesn't realise that Nico's not ready for a relationship."

"Dude. What are you talking about? How do you even know that?"

"I just-" Percy sputtered helplessly. "I dunno. I just think we should say something!"

"Percy." Jason sighed. "We are not giving Will Solace a shovel talk. You are being ridiculous."

Percy huffed.

Looks like this is going to be a solo endeavour, then.

He had been so sure that Jason would be on his side.

-

Will

It was late in the summer and a slow week for camp injuries. Will pattered around the infirmary, making beds. He was the only one on duty that afternoon.

At around 3o'clock, he got an unexpected visitor.

"Oh, hey Percy." He called, smiling up at the son of Poseidon.

Percy stood in the infirmary doorway. He had a strange look on his face, like he was mad about something. His black hair was getting shaggy and his sea green eyes were darker than usual. He wore a raggedy looking camp t-shirt and swim trunks and Riptide was hanging at his waist in sword form.

Sword form? That was odd.

Will's smile turned curious.

"Hello, Will." Percy returned his greeting, oddly formal.

"How's it going?" Will asked cheerily and Percy's eyes narrowed in suspicion. There was a pause. "Are… you alright?"

He kept his tone light, waiting patiently for Percy to find his words.

"I'm fine." Percy shrugged dismissively. "I just came by to…" He glanced around the infirmary, shoulders relaxing when he found it was only the two of them. "I actually came by to talk to you about something…" Percy made his way into the room, gaining confidence. "About Nico."

"Oh."

Will felt a thrill of nerves run through him.

Not out of any kind of guilt. Instead he found himself trying not to blush at the way his heart thudded at the mention of Nico's name.

Oh Gods. Percy knew about Will's feelings for Nico. Or he'd heard the rumours and was coming here to tell him Nico wasn't interested.

The tips of Will's fingers burned with mortification at the thought.

Calm down. The rational part of his brain cut over his rapidly spiralling train of thought. If you freak out and he doesn't actually know about your massive, embarrassing crush then the fact that you're having a panic attack about it will make it super freaking obvious.

He forced his limbs to stay casual and hopped up onto the bed he had just fixed up.

"Sure." He said, voice still as breezy as he could manage. He gestured for the bed opposite him. "We can talk."

Percy kept his eyes narrowed as he glanced at the bed and then back to Will. He took a seat.

There was a long silence.

"Sooo, what about Nico did you want to talk about?" Will asked. He hoped that didn't come out too snarky.

Percy raised one eyebrow and then seemed to psych himself up. He straightened his back and adjusted his sword, looking broader than he usually did.

"Well." Percy cleared his throat. "I've been hearing some rumours about you guys."

"Right." Will said carefully. He waited for Percy to clarify. This seemed to annoy Percy a little. Will smiled, hoping to ease the tension.

"Right. And er- I guess I just wondered… if there's any truth to them? To the rumours, I mean."

Percy watched Will's face so intently that Will couldn't help but feel a silent laugh tug at the corner of his mouth.

"What rumours are you talking about exactly?" He asked, still ever so casual.

Percy looked irritated.

Ok, don't overdo it, Solace.

"If you mean the ones about us being a couple then-" Will shrugged. "We're just friends."

"Right." Percy said again. "But do you maybe wish that you were more than friends?"

Will's heart thudded.

Casual. Keep it casual.

"Sure." Will smiled. "I mean, Nico's awesome. Right?"

Percy remained suspicious. Will wasn't deterred.

"I wasn't planning on making any moves though."

"You weren't?" Percy blinked.

Will laughed. "Of course not. I don't think he'd be comfortable with that considering how much other campers have been gossiping about it." As he spoke Will raised one pointed eyebrow. Percy had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Right. Ok." He said. He nodded himself, like he was trying to reassure himself of something, then puffed himself up like he had done at the start of the conversation and put one hand on Riptide again. "Well. Good. I agree."

Will's eyes rested on Percy's sword hand for a second. He smirked.

There was another silence, in which Percy attempted to stare him down. Will just tilted his head in a question.

"Is that all?" He asked.

"Um." Percy jumped up, looking a little deflated. "Yeah. Sure. That's all."

Will grinned and jumped to his feet too.

"Ok, cool. Well, see you round, Percy." He reached out to clap Percy on the shoulder and then turned his back, heading to the infirmary storage to get another set of fresh sheets.

Once he finally he heard Percy leave behind him, he let out a long breath and ran a hand through his hair.

Ok, so Percy Jackson knows about your crush on Nico di Angelo. It's not that big of a deal.

He tried to get his heartbeat under control as he snatched up a pile of linen and returned to the infirmary floor. He tried not to think about how nothing Percy said implied that Nico might feel the same way. He tried to feel relieved that at least Percy hadn't told him that Nico was sick of spending time in the infirmary.

He felt a shy smile creep onto his face as he thought about Nico. He thought about how embarrassed Nico got whenever another camper made a comment about them. He thought about the cute way his eyebrows knit together in confusion when someone complimented him. He thought about silky ink-black hair and shattered glass eyes.

He sighed wistfully into the empty infirmary.

Gods, Solace. You need to get a grip.

-

Jason

Percy barged into Cabin One, Riptide in one hand and the other hand carding through his hair in frustration.

"Impossible! He is the worst!"

Jason glanced up from where he was laying on his bunk, letting the book he was reading fall closed onto his chest.

"What?" He frowned at Percy, who was now pacing distractedly around his cabin.

Jason checked the statue of Zeus warily, hoping the sudden appearance of an enraged son of Poseidon wouldn't result in another indoor thunderstorm.

"That guy is impossible!" Percy said through gritted teeth.

"What guy? What are we talking about?" Jason asked, sitting up.

"Will Solace!" Percy cried out right at the moment he pivoted, still pacing. "I went to the infirmary to tell him he needed to quit flirting with Nico-"

"You did what?!" Jason's eyebrows flew up.

"-But then I couldn't even get the proper words out because he was so friendly and reasonable!"

Percy capped Riptide back into ballpoint pen and shoved it in his pocket, looking thoroughly pissed off that Will Solace had had the nerve to be a decent person. Jason stared at him, nonplussed.

"Percy, you do realise you sound insane right now, right?" Jason said dryly.

Percy glared at him.

"What did you even say to him?" Jason asked.

"Well I asked him if the rumours about him having a thing for Nico was true." Percy said, ignoring Jason's eye roll. "And he said yes. But then before I could say anything else he said he wasn't planning on making any moves because he knows that the rumours make Nico uncomfortable and he thinks Nico is awesome."

Jason couldn't help but smirk at the utterly disgusted look on Percy's face as he recounted Will's words. This earned him another glare from Percy.

"Hey, don't laugh!" He complained. Jason tried his best not to.

"Why don't you ask Annabeth to talk to him?" Jason suggested.

Both he and Percy knew that Annabeth was the most feared person at camp.

"She won't talk to me about it." Percy grumbled. "Says it's none of my business."

"It is none of your business." Jason agreed. Percy glared at him again.

"But she also says she doesn't need to talk to him, because she says he's smart enough not to be an idiot about a camp rumour!"

"She's right about that too." said Jason. "Look, I told you not to talk to him. Will's a nice guy. Everyone likes him. I don't get why you're so worried."

Percy's eyes narrowed.

"I'm telling you, man. This is not a good thing." He insisted. "I went in there trying to express how I was worried about Nico, and instead he just laughed at me and I looked like a total dork."

"I mean, in Will's defence, you are a total dork." Jason pointed out.

Percy simply shook his head gravely.

"You wait. This can only mean bad things for us."

-

Over the next couple of weeks, as summer wound to a close, Jason continued to be unworried both by the rumours swirling around Will and Nico, and Percy's suspicious glances.

Every time Will and Nico arrived at the dining pavilion together, prompting heads to duck together and whispers to erupt at the Apollo and Aphrodite tables. Every time Nico blushed when Will waved at him at the campfire or called to him across the green in the mornings. Jason always heard a voice in his head, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Piper that said 'Will's a decent guy. And Nico can handle himself' or, 'This is cute. Nico deserves a friend like Will'.

It wasn't until after most of the summer campers had gone back to school and the Fall year-rounder season began that Jason began to see exactly where Percy was coming from.

Percy and Annabeth had returned to the city for school, both staying with Sally and Paul. Piper and Jason were staying at camp for a couple more weeks before heading out to search for Leo together.

In the quiet of the Fall season at camp, Nico and Jason had formed a daily routine together.

Jason woke up, went on a run, showered. Then he dropped by Cabin Thirteen and if Nico was awake they went to breakfast together. They trained together with the Ares cabin and whoever else wanted spar practice for most of the morning. Then lunch. Then, in the afternoon they'd split off for some kind of camp activity. Jason usually used that time to do research for his temples. Nico often hung out with Piper or helped the Athena cabin run mythology class. Lately, he'd been spending that time in the infirmary instead, helping the Apollo kids on duty.

And Will Solace was always on duty.

It was around the third or fourth day in a row that Nico arrived at dinner with Will and ate with Jason only to promptly leave the Zeus table and rejoin Will to spend the whole evening in the Apollo cabin that Jason started to realise that maybe this whole rumour thing wasn't just a rumour anymore. And that maybe Will's promise to Percy that he wasn't going to make a move had been forgotten.

Sometimes Piper noticed Jason watching the two of them walking together or planning a project on the deck of the Apollo cabin or sitting together at the campfire. She rolled her eyes at him, but never said anything.

One night, Jason was walking back to his cabin after an evening catch up with Thalia at the Iris cabin fountain when he spotted Will and Nico walking across the green together. Jason paused where he stood, in the shadow of the Hypnos cabin, so they wouldn't see him. It looked like Will was walking Nico back to his cabin for the night.

When they arrived at the steps to Cabin Thirteen, Jason noted how close together they were standing. At one point, Will reached out and put his hand on Nico's arm and Jason was shocked that Nico didn't pull back.

Nico leaned forward slightly to say something and Will tilted his head inward to listen, then threw it back in a laugh. Nico was grinning.

Jason saw Will give Nico a hug goodnight and then retreat across the green to Cabin Seven. Nico hesitated in the doorway of his cabin, watching Will leave.

Jason stood in the shadow of the Hypnos cabin, blinking dumbly for several minutes after Nico had disappeared behind the Hades cabin door.

His rational brain warred with a familiar protective instinct.

Nico seemed so smitten with Will. But why hadn't he said anything to Jason? Or talked about it with Piper, even? Why did he always change the subject whenever Will came up, even in the most innocent context?

Will clearly still had feelings for Nico, as he had confessed to Percy several weeks ago now. But why was he walking Nico home at night and inviting him to come and help in the infirmary all the time if he wasn't planning on acting on his crush?

Jason knew Nico could take care of himself. And he knew Will was a nice guy. And he knew that Nico deserved to be happy and loved.

And yet he couldn't shake the feeling that this was a risk.

'I'm telling you. This can only mean bad things.' Percy's words rang in Jason's ear.

From that moment, Jason resolved to be more attentive and more firm whenever he was around Will.

-

The next morning, Jason passed Will on his morning run. Will was just coming back from a hike with his siblings, fresh-faced and sunny as always.

As Jason passed the three Apollo kids he threw Will his best wolf-glare. Will raised his hand in a cheery wave, as if he hadn't even noticed.

-

At breakfast, Jason stared Will down across the pavilion. He was laughing and chatting with Kayla about something. He didn't look up once.

"Are you ok?" Nico asked. Jason nodded grumpily.

At the end of the meal Will jogged over and to chat with Nico. Nico's face lit up as they talked. Before he left, Will threw Jason a friendly grin.

"Hey, Jason." he said, before inviting Nico to hang in the infirmary with him that night.

-

At the next campfire, Jason made sure to be there early. He tugged Piper along to sit with Nico, taking Will's usual spot. Piper eyed him suspiciously.

When Will arrived, Jason watched him carefully, searching for a sign of disappointment that his seat had been taken.

Instead, Will barely seemed to notice. He gave Jason and Piper a breezy smile, then took up a seat beside Cecil and Connor, chatting with them. When Nico craned round to look for Will, he flashed him a quick smile too but didn't stop his conversation with the Hermes campers.

For some reason this comparative lack of attention to Nico made Jason even madder than the constant attention.

-

At Friday's head counsellor meeting, Jason was irritable. He shot down Will's admittedly good ideas for a new rota on music and archery training.

Jason could hear the pettiness in his voice as he spoke, but instead of arguing, Will just shrugged.

"Fair enough." He said easily.

Like it was no big deal at all.

-

That afternoon, Percy arrived at camp. He was planning to stay the night.

When he, Jason and Nico hit the arena to spar together, Jason noticed that Will dropped by to watch. He noticed how Will paid more attention to the matches Nico was in and cheered whenever Nico won.

Percy locked eyes with Jason at one point and Jason realised that Percy had noticed it too.

"You were totally right!" Jason said at dinner that night. Nico had left already with Will and the rest of the Apollo cabin for a music night in their cabin.

Percy looked at Jason in surprise.

"About what?"

"About Will!" Jason cried. "I've been trying to intimidate him all week because it seems like he's totally going to make a move on Nico, but it's like he's just ignoring me!"

Percy's mouth dropped open.

"I knew it!" He gasped. "See, I told you!"

"I know, I know." Jason dropped his head in his hands. "I just didn't get it when you said."

The thing was, Jason knew deep down that his actions to try and intimidate Will were immature. Especially without having talked to Nico about it. Except that Will's reaction didn't match up that way.

When Will grinned or waved at him after Jason glared or snapped, it wasn't malicious and it wasn't taunting. It wasn't ignorant either. Will must know what Jason was doing, Jason was certain. But at every move Jason made, Will simply took it in his stride. Sometimes he even had an understanding look in his eye like 'it's ok, I'm hitting on your little brother, I get it' or he'd back off for a little while with an easy shrug like 'whatever, I'm not relying on this one moment to make my move, I respect Nico's friend time'.

Jason wasn't sure whether to be infuriated or impressed.

He tried to explain this to Percy. Percy shook his head.

"Oh, no." Percy insisted. "We are not backing down this easy."

A curious gleam appeared in Percy's eyes. Determined and mischievous.

"So what do we do?" Jason asked.

Percy withdrew something from his pocket and held it up for Jason to see. It was a golden drachma. Percy grinned.

"We consult an intimidation expert."

-

Reyna

Reyna was hanging out in the Praetor's rec room when the Iris message came through.

Jason and Percy were sat on what looked like a bunk in the Poseidon cabin, their arms crossed and expressions serious.

Reyna straightened up immediately and frowned at them, alert and ready. "Hey guys. What's going on?"

"We need your advice." Percy said without preamble. Jason nodded.

"It's about Nico." Jason added.

Reyna quirked an eyebrow. Her battle instincts relaxed somewhat and she eased herself into a bean bag chair.

"Ok. I'm listening." she said.

The two boys exchanged a look, as if they hadn't thought this far ahead. After some kind of silent conversation, Jason took the lead.

"So we think that Nico might have a crush. On one of the campers here." He began.

Reyna blinked.

Ok. So that was… not what she was expecting.

Her mind ran quickly over the last couple of catch ups she'd had with Nico, scanning their interactions for new names Nico might have mentioned.

"It's Will Solace." Percy said, before she could land on that answer herself. "He's the head of the Apollo cabin."

"Right. That makes sense." Reyna said. When Jason and Percy looked at her quizzically, Reyna shrugged. "Nico never shuts up about him."

"Really?" Jason appeared momentarily distracted from his explanation of the problem. He leaned forward eagerly. "What does he say?"

Reyna narrowed her eyes at them. "Are you two trying to get gossip out of me? I didn't realise I was on the phone to two sons of Venus."

Jason and Percy exchanged highly insulted looks, which Reyna generously decided she would never mention to Piper.

"Why is Nico's crush on Will Solace a problem?" Reyna asked. "Does he not like Nico back?"

Reyna's stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought. From the stuff Nico had told her about how great Will was and the time they had started spending together, it certainly didn't sound like this crush was unreciprocated. But then again, Reyna had seen Nico's memories of his crush on Percy, and those early days had been plenty filled with romantic daydreams too. She hated to think that Nico might be in for another long stint of falling for a friend who didn't love him back.

Her uncertainty didn't last long however. Percy had scoffed at her suggestion and Jason was shaking his head.

"Oh no, he likes Nico. He likes Nico a lot. If anything we have the opposite problem." He said gravely.

"Your problem is… Nico has a crush on someone… and he likes Nico back?" she said slowly.

Percy nodded. "Exactly."

Reyna found her eyebrow quirking up once more. "I don't see the issue here."

Jason rubbed his palm against his face, knocking his glances askew and looking even more frazzled by whatever it is that was worrying him.

"The issue is that Will Solace is impossible!" He cried out in exasperation. Percy nodded again and threw himself onto his back on the bunk behind them in commiseration. Reyna tried not to laugh. She was still intensely confused.

"I thought that Will was pretty popular at camp?" She said. Her own memories of Will were positive. She remembered a warm smile and expert commanding of both the Greek and Roman medics, seamlessly coordinating the end of the battle against Gaia into a healing and rescue operation. She'd spent a bit of time with Frank in the infirmary after the battle and remembered being impressed with how calm and cheerful he had been with his patients, even though he must have been dead on his feet.

She also knew that Annabeth spoke very highly of him. That and Nico practically gushed about how nice he was whenever it came up.

Percy and Jason either did not seem to have these memories, or they did have them and they were somehow making all of this worse. Percy scowled and Jason's mouth twisted in distaste.

"He is popular." Percy growled out. "Obviously. He's impossible not to like!"

"Ok, so why is that a bad thing?" Reyna asked.

"Because he's been flirting with Nico!" Jason burst out, finally getting to the heart of the problem. "And everyone at camp is like egging them on which obviously makes Nico super uncomfortable, but then when we've tried to talk to Will about it he just ends up acting all reasonable."

Reyna frowned. Again.

"Reasonable." She repeated.

"Yeah!" Percy said, as if being reasonable was the very worst thing you could be.

"So uh… What exactly did you need my help with?" Reyna questioned.

Jason scooted forwards on his chair, all business.

"We need you to help us try and intimidate him." He said, clasping his hands together.

"Intimidate him?"

"Yes." Percy said eagerly. "We need someone to get through to him. Who better than Nico's toughest and most scary friend?"

"Thanks?" Reyna quipped.

"You're welcome." Percy said sincerely.

"You guys, why would I need to intimidate someone who is universally liked and who Nico also likes?"

"Because." Jason said, shaking one finger slightly manically in the manner of someone about to explain a conspiracy theory. "Because Nico is our friend. And he's been through a lot. Especially when it comes to his crushes-" He paused here to throw Percy a look, at which Percy had the decency to look guilty, "- and Will doesn't know that. And he said that he wasn't going to make a move on Nico when he clearly is!"

"Yeah!" Percy chipped in. "And we care about him so we need to warn him that if he does anything to hurt Nico we are going to kick his ass!"

It took a lot of physical restraint for Reyna to not roll her eyes.

"Jason, Nico is just as powerful as either of you. And way more powerful than me." She said. "Couldn't he just kick Will's ass himself?"

Jason shook his head and wagged his finger at her again. "Would he, though?" he said.

Reyna's first instinct was to laugh. But then she thought about it properly.

When Nico got hurt by monsters, or by assholes like Bryce Lawrence or Octavian, then sure, his tendency was to kick some ass…

But when Nico got hurt by people he cared about, well… He tended to blame himself. If Will Solace hurt him, it didn't seem all that unlikely that Nico might convince himself that he deserved to be treated that way.

After all, that's what he had convinced himself of in the past. That's what he was still trying to un-convince himself of…

Percy and Jason must have seen the shift of attitude in her face because they were both straightening up hopefully.

"Ok." She said slowly. "Ok, I see your problem. So what's so difficult about talking to Will about it?"

Percy leaned in eagerly. "Seriously, Reyna, this guy is literally impossible to psych out. Every time we've tried he either ignores us or laughs it off. He's like a wizard." Percy shook his head with a kind of starstruck look that Reyna had only seen on him when talking about Annabeth in combat. She fought another urge to laugh.

Jason wasn't laughing. He looked at Reyna through the Iris message with startling earnestness. Reyna pictured Will Solace in her mind and tried to conjure up everything she knew about him and other people she knew like him.

"Ok." She said, deep in thought. "Ok. Let me think on it. And the next time there's a visit from Camp Half Blood, I'll help you."

-

The next visit from Camp Half Blood turned out to be only ten days later.

Reyna, Frank and Hazel stood at the entrance to Camp Jupiter ready to greet them. When Hazel cried out and ran forward to wrap Nico in a hug, Reyna's eyes zeroed in on the blond kid who stood just behind Nico.

He didn't seem as relaxed as he usually did, which Reyna took as a good sign. But it could just be that this was his first visit to a new place.

Reyna and Frank greeted Chiron and the other campers. Almost all the year rounders were here, along with Percy and Annabeth who had tagged along to have their monthly Argo II reunion.

The trip had been arranged with Chiron to show the Greeks how things worked at Camp Jupiter, so for much of the first half of the day, Reyna found herself stuck firmly in Praetor mode. She and Frank sat with Chiron, Annabeth and Grover (the East coast's designated leader figures) at the welcome feast in the mess hall. Then, they led the entire camp on a highlights tour around Camp Jupiter.

The whole time, Reyna had one eye on Nico. He was usually wedged in at either Hazel or Will's side. In both cases he seemed relaxed and happy. Reyna did not miss the stolen smiles that Will kept throwing Nico's way, or the way he almost glowed whenever Nico laughed. At one of these moments, Reyna looked up to see Jason catching her eye. He nodded gravely.

Reyna knew she should be happy to see Nico so happy. And she was. Really...

But she couldn't get Jason's words from their chat ten days ago out of her head.

She watched the way that Will bantered with Hazel over the feast, making Hazel throw her head back with laughter, utterly charmed. She watched the way this made Nico grin dopily at Will over his cup. On Nico's other side, Percy narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

It should have been funny. And honestly, Reyna really did like Will. She fully intended for them to be good friends, eventually. But she needed to have a more serious conversation with him first.

After the camp tour, Frank announced that he'd be conducting a more thorough tour of the barracks and armoury. The Ares kids eagerly agreed and Kayla bounced along at Frank's side, enquiring hopefully if he could include a swing-by of the archery range.

Reyna turned to Will then, locking eyes with Jason and sharing a knowing glance before she did so.

"Will, would you like to see our infirmary set up?" She asked.

If her overly formal tone bothered Will, he didn't show it. His eyes lit up at the suggestion.

"Definitely!" He agreed.

"I'll come." Nico piped up from beside him.

"No, Nico, you should go with Jason." Reyna said firmly. "He said he'd show the others Temple Hill."

Nico frowned. "But I've already seen Temple Hill."

Reyna scrambled for a reasonable excuse to give him.

"I uhhh, wanted your opinion on the placement of some new Underworld God shrines." Jason cut in hastily.

Nico's frown deepened. Reyna forced a fake smile which prompted him to throw her a deeply suspicious look.

"Right, well we'll meet you at the gates to the city later then!" She said in a falsely authoritative tone. Nico scowled.

Reyna turned to Will, who looked perplexed.

"Ready, Solace?"

Will, bless him, smiled at her. "Sure." He shrugged.

-

In the infirmary, Reyna found it tricky to maintain her resolve.

As Annabeth, Percy, Jason, Piper and of course Nico had all pointed out to her, Will Solace was infuriatingly nice.

Will's smile was like sunshine personified. Which, she supposed, he basically was.

When they arrived, Will greeted his Roman half-siblings warmly. Rather than attempt to maintain the authority he had commanded in the Camp Half Blood infirmary, he quickly shifted into a polite and inquisitive guest, asking lots of intelligent questions and complimenting their storage systems.

He was excited to meet Pranjal again, the son of Asclepius and the head of Camp Jupiter's infirmary. Pranjal explained to Reyna that Will had been told by Apollo that he shared many of the powers of Asclepius, which was quite rare for a child of Apollo.

"Had to be some benefits to completely missing out on any music or archery talents." Will quipped.

Annoyingly, Reyna suspected that even this comment was simply Will being humble. At one point when one of the Apollo legacies threw a bottle of unicorn draught over for Will to inspect, he caught it in one hand effortlessly and later threw it back across the room without even looking. His aim was perfect.

He chatted to the Apollo and Asclepius children and legacies about Apollo himself and whether anyone had heard from him. When he talked about his father, Reyna saw genuine worry and care in his eyes. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen from a demigod towards their godly parent.

When Will spoke to Reyna he was cheery and unaffected by her military posture or Praetor's regalia.

Usually Reyna liked it when campers treated her like everyone else, rather than revering her in her position. But she couldn't help but think that in this particular scenario a little reverence would have been to her advantage.

They walked up the road to New Rome together, just the two of them, and Reyna picked her moment.

"Listen, Will." She said sternly. She drew herself up to her full height and straightened her cloak. Will was walking beside her, completely at ease. His body language did not change when Reyna adjusted her tone. "I was talking to Jason over Iris message last week." She began.

"Ah, is this about Nico?" Will asked. His eyes sparkled knowingly. He reminded Reyna of one of the older legacies that ran an intro to self-defence class for new campers: always one step ahead of everyone, but never flaunting his power.

"I-" Reyna scowled at him. "Yeah. It is actually."

Will laughed, though Reyna didn't miss his blush.

"Jason's been giving me his wolf stare for like a month now. I figured he'd maybe talk to you about it." Will spoke as if he was talking about the weather, or a camp chore schedule. "It's ok." Will chuckled. "Go ahead and give me the speech."

Reyna opened and closed her mouth, then steeled her resolve, refocusing. She wasn't going to let him psych her out.

"Look, I know you're not an idiot, Solace." She said brusquely. "And neither is Percy or Jason. They know you've been messing with them."

Will had the nerve to look curious at that.

"But I am not messing around here." She pressed on. "Nico is the bravest kid I know. Possibly one of the bravest demigods ever."

She glared full force at Will, daring him to respond. Will's face remained smooth and calm.

"I agree." He said softly, eyes not leaving Reyna's face.

"He doesn't trust easily." Reyna continued. "But you, with all your healing and diplomacy, have convinced him to trust you. And, I'm not saying you're not trustworthy. Obviously, the kids at Camp Half Blood all respect you. And I'm not saying that Nico can't make his own decisions, because we both know what he'd do to us if either of us tried to suggest that to him." Here, Will let slip an amused smile, looking a little lovesick in a way that further sharpened Reyna's focus. "But Solace, listen."

She stopped walking and grabbed Will's shoulder with one hand. Will was strong but Reyna turned him around to face her easily. She took a step closer. She was taller than him, just, and used the full weight of her Praetor authority as she locked eyes with him.

"You don't understand yet how much it means to have Nico di Angelo trust you. But if you're lucky, one day you will."

Will seemed to let that sink in. He still didn't look intimidated, though he was listening intently.

"Now, I'm not telling you what to do, Solace. But I am telling you this." Reyna ramped up the ferocity in her stare, channeling her training with Lupa as best as she could. "If you do anything- if you make one move that proves to me that you're not deserving of that trust. If you make one mistake and you hurt him, then Nico won't be the only one with an intimate knowledge of the Underworld. You got that?"

Will's eyes widened as she spoke. He leaned away ever so slightly. And for one glorious moment, Reyna thought she had succeeded.

And then, that sunshine sparkle returned to his clear blue eyes.

And Will Solace laughed.

The way he was was smiling at her… He looked almost fond.

"I can see why Nico likes you." He said warmly. His arm and shoulder was relaxed in Reyna's grip.

Reyna's jaw dropped even as she tried to scowl at him.

"You think this is funny, Solace?" She growled.

Will shook his head, still laughing. "No, no, of course not." He assured her. "I believe that you'll hurt me. I just really don't think you've got anything to worry about."

He looked so sure, so innocent, so smitten with Nico. It pissed Reyna off.

She glared at him again and stuck out one foot, pushing against the back of Will's calf and knocking him off balance. He cried out but Reyna maintained her grip on his arm so he didn't tumble to the ground with too much force.

Even so, he was on the ground. He looked around, disoriented, from his newfound horizontal position. Reyna towered over him.

"I told you I wasn't messing around." She said, one hand on her dagger hilt. Will instantly raised his hands in surrender, though his smile did not waver.

"I know, I know, I believe you!" He said quickly. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, but let Reyna maintain her position standing over him. His grin slowly softened. "Listen, you're a really good friend. But I promise, I'm not messing with you."

Reyna maintained her glare. Will remained unaffected.

"Seriously, Reyna. The last thing in the world I would ever do is hurt Nico. Swear it on the Styx and everything. Or on the Tiber, or whatever body of water it is that you make oaths to over here." His mouth twitched at the joke.

Reyna's resolve was slipping, though she was still annoyed that her intimidation tactic was proving so ineffective.

Will seemed to understand her dilemma. He leaned backwards, giving Reyna even more height on him, and held out one hand in a truce.

"I'll make you a deal." He said confidently. "If I ever hurt Nico, I'll report straight to you to get what's coming to me. I'll even swing by Hazel, Percy and Jason afterwards too, as a bonus."

Infuriatingly, he winked.

Despite it all, Reyna felt her frustration reluctantly ebb away. She leant forward to clasp Will's hand, hauling him up to his feet as she did so.

"Throw in a report to Annabeth, Solace, and you've got yourself a deal." She smirked.

At that, a kind of worry passed ever so briefly over Will's face. Reyna felt a brief stab of competitiveness.

Damn you, Chase.

Before she could think on that any further, the moment had gone. Will was smiling his sunny grin at her and firmly shaking their clasped hands.

-

Later that day, Percy and Jason joined Reyna where she was sitting with a mug of her favourite hot chocolate.

"How'd it go?" Jason asked quietly. He glanced surreptitiously around them to make sure no one was watching.

Reyna let out a sigh. Together, they watched Nico and Will chatting animatedly, walking alongside a thoroughly bemused Frank Zhang.

"I think it's time we gave it up, boys." She said, finally admitting defeat. "You were right. Will Solace is impossible not to like."

[louiserandom]

Of Stolen Innocence and Ruined Dates

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara | Rating: E 

Summary: Madara wants a date.

Tobirama also wants a date, and normally he’d have to ask his ridiculously overprotective brother’s permission first, but he’s feeling rebellious today.

Hashirama just wants to protect his darling Otouto’s innocence—and what the fuck is Tobirama doing naked in Madara’s bed?!

Read on AO3 or continue under the cut :3 Ko-fi info is in the header!

Madara takes a moment to breathe and silently reassure himself that he is, indeed, an exceptionally courageous man.

He was always able to face his fears and unafraid to check under his bed for terrifying giant spiders when he was a child (even though he would have to scramble to one of his brothers’ room more often than not for additional comfort). The latter is a redundant detail, however, since he’s grown into quite the dangerous, deadly, brilliant war strategist and army leader who sent his enemies fleeing in terror from his gunbai. Madara is, in fact, the only one strong enough to fight the fabled God of Shinobi to a standstill... well, was. As he’d learned soon after Konoha’s formation, Tobirama manages the feat just fine as well.

And therein lies the problem, of course. In Senju Tobirama, who seems perfectly content to keep at his paperwork, ever productive and efficient, completely oblivious to Madara’s struggle.

Madara grinds his teeth, groaning inwardly.

What a dick.

A shameless one at that, always flitting about with that overly lose kimono shirt and tight-fitting breeches, sitting with his legs spread out on his chair, lounging on the small couch in the corner or downright sprawled over his desk like some indecent... something.

Even more annoying is Madara’s inability to keep his eyes off him.

It was so godsdamn easy to deal with him before, going from hate to dismissal as they built the foundations of their village and Tobirama stopped being the chief threat to Madara’s only remaining brother. But things took a drastic turn for the worse (or better, as his mind insisted) that fateful day when Madara did learn that he’s not the only one able to match Hashirama in combat. There was something positively tantalizing and admittedly riveting about Tobirama’s genius, how he pushed his already exceptional water style far enough to be able to manipulate not only blood, but the water contained in Hashirama’s Mokuton, which often enough rendered it powerless. Even more surprising was his insistence on only doing the latter in the privacy of highly secluded sparring matches, lest any enemies of the village discover his Anija’s weak spot and take advantage of it.

That was the first time, really, that Madara ever saw something in the Senju that left him hopelessly intrigued. Intrigued enough toーnot stalk him, obviously, of course not, but to watch Tobirama more closely, to notice what made him tick, pick up on the little details Madara had never had an interest in before. He should have known it was a dangerous path, with every time he noticed Tobirama absolutely melt in the presence of children, every time he found Tobirama playing with cats, dogs, birds, even the wild and freakish animals populating the Forest of Death and cooing over them not unlike Hashirama would. Then there were the glimpses Madara got into Tobirama’s personal life, getting more acquainted with his mind-boggling experiments and audacious research that never left Madara bored. Neither did Tobirama’s impeccable training routine which Madara has grown used to running through together in the mornings, and his eager willingness to dance with Madara during their increasingly frequent spars is an added bonus.

Then there’s his efficiently in all matters ranging from politics to economics and infrastructure, which Madara gets to appreciate more now that he’s fled from Hashirama’s clusterfuck of an office to Tobirama’s working space. But that also led to the inconvenience of seeing those loose kimonos and flattering breeches (which Tobirama only tends to wear around Madara, incidentally, behaving more or less proper when Madara masks his chakra and... observes him). And those striking red eyes and messy locks of hair Madara wants to just grab andー

Well, Madara decides, I'm fucked.

Because even he had to admit, despite his best efforts to strangle his stupid fucking impulses before they manifested into fucking feelings, that somewhere along the line, he developed a dangerously persistent crush on his once enemy.

And the fourth night in a row dreaming about Tobirama writhing under him as he kisses him senseless was Madara last godsdamned straw.

He wants a fucking date.

One fucking godsdamned date. Maybe a good, hard fuck on top of that, and that will be the end of it.

(The end of it, he reiterates in his mind just in case.)

So, Madara reminds himself for the umpteenth time in a row that he is exceptionally brave, and he is not afraid to tell the Senju out, godsdammit. Ask him out, he mentally corrects himself, remembering Izuna’s advice on being civil and subtle and whatnot.

Madara can do that. There’s little in this world he can’t do. And Izuna’s assured him that Madara isn’t imagining things, that Tobirama’s gaze does linger a little too long whenever Madara strips in the summer heat. That Tobirama has made far too many an excuse to align his meetings and breaks with Madara’s schedule, rather than Hashirama’s, Izuna’s or Tōka’s.

This speaks to at least a little interest from his side, right?

Madara's sigh rings loudly in his miserable silence. Because of course there's only one fucking way to find out for sure—and the workday drawing to a close as they finish up their remaining concerns for the day seems like the perfect opportunity to embark on his romantic pursuit.

“Oi, Senju,” he starts, wincing at himself because how could he fuck up right from the beginning? “I meanーTobirama?”

The man in question gives him a questioning look from where he’s loungingーagainーon his desk. “Yes, Madara?”

Oh, gods that voice. Deep, and smooth, laced with the delicious inflections that make Madara's insides tingle... what he wouldn’t give to hear it tremble upon a moan.

“Uh.” Madara blinks, yanking himself back to reality. Tobirama is still staring at him with a raised eyebrow and what looks to be an inkling of amusement in his eyes. “I was going to say.” He clears his throat as his voice cracks a little. Fuck. Fuck, fuck. “You look exceptionally hot today,” he blurts out, giving himself another extra strong mental kick for such a foolish slip of the tongue.

Handsome. All he had to say, per Izuna’s careful, repeated instructions, was fucking handsome. Before he can correct himself, though, Tobirama says,

“Hot? Madara, you remember that my body temperature is much lower than is normal and I’m really sensitive to cold, right? It may seem hot to you outside but I’m freezing.”

Ah. He didn’t even get it. Madara sighs with an exasperated roll of his eyes. Calmly continue, he decides, no need to worry in the face of such inexperience.

“I meant,” Madara goes on, punctuating his works with a blatant leer and a smirk, “appealing. Easy on the eye. Handsome, one might say.”

He stops himself before he can overdo it, relishing the sharp intake of breath, the shock flashing briefly in Tobirama’s eyes.

“You mean,” Tobirama says, schooling his expression into casual curiosity, “you might say?”

Madara chuckles. “Why, yes. I’ve been thinking it for quite a while now, in fact, and thought it unproductive to keep this from you any longer.”

“Unproductive to what?” Tobirama asks, and even sans the Sharingan, Madara sees a hint of blush blooming on his pale, sculpted cheeks.

Beautiful.

“Unproductive to beautiful?”

Madara’s hands jerk of their own accord, knocking down half of the stacks of paper already placed dangerously on the edge of his desk. And Izuna warned him, too, to keep control of his limbs, but how is Madara supposed to do that with Tobirama smiling at him like that?!

“I-I didn’t mean to say that,” Madara rushes through his words, “I mean, out loud, I did meanーyou areーbut...” Overdoing it, alarm bells ring in his head. Giving up, he slams his hands on his desk as he stands up and glares at the grinning fool. “Fuck you, Senju! We’re going on a date! Tonight. Any place of your choice. With me,” he clarifies just to be safe, “andーif you want, that is! Yes.” In a desperate bid to fix the disastrous tirade at least a little bit, he says, more of a whisper this time, “I mean. Yes? Or...”

Tobirama laughs.

The utter bastard.

It’s a wonderful melodic sound Madara so rarely hears from him, cherishes each and every time his jokes land just right to gauge at least a chuckle from the man, but the fact that Tobirama is now laughing at him only makes anger boil at the pit of his stomach.

“What the fuck, Senju,” he growls.

“What you’re asking,” Tobirama drawls in a maddeningly playful manner, “is whether I'll consider accompanying you for a pleasant dinner tonight, just the two of us?”

That godsdamned look. Eyes narrowed suggestively as they glide over Madara’s body before locking with his eyes. The grin Madara now realizes is far from just that, watching, mesmerized, as Tobirama’s tongue slips out to wet his lips in a downright debauched manner.

Oh, gods. This man is going to be the death of him. And thinking back now to the time he distinctly remembers both Tobirama and Izuna supervising Hashirama’s questionable attempts to woo the Princess of Uzushio, Tobirama had to have gotten the meaning of Madara’s first flirting attempt.

Madara has just been played. And he’s enjoying it, too, the masochist he apparently is.

“Yes,” he grinds through his teeth, hoping the gravity of his glare impresses upon Tobirama just how pissed he is and pleading Amaterasu that it’s not a blush warming his cheeks as he seethes. “So, Senju? Don’t try my patience.”

Another chuckle escapes that infuriating, kissable mouth.

“You are ridiculous,” Tobirama says, the absolute bastard, “and nowhere near eloquent. But I must say I’m intrigued. If only because you’re...” He gives Madara another once-over, seemingly searching for the right term. “Cute.”

“W-whaーwho are you calling cute!” Madara shrieks despite himself, springing over his desk and stalking up to Tobirama to jam a finger into his chestーdistractingly prominent underneath the tight shirt he’s wearing. “Don’t you dare call me that to my face if you don’t wish to die.”

“Why, I was hoping you’d give me at least one little death today,” Tobirama purrs.

Andーwell. Whatever Madara was planning to yell next flies completely over his head, and damn his brain for shutting off completely in favor of imagining those lips stretched not in a grin but around Madara’sー

“But I suppose we really shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves,” Tobirama says, covering Madara’s hand with his and lowering it gently. “I’m intrigued but...” He scowls. “I really should be asking Anija’s permission first.”

That brings Madara back to reality. “Permission? From Hashirama?” Madara frowns. “What are you, twelve? Why do you need the loghead’s permission for things concerning your personal life?”

Tobirama rolls his eyes. “Anija is... protective. Overprotective,” he corrects himself, before sighing heavily. A crazy urge compels Madara to squeeze his hand in reassurance before Tobirama can let him go. “Really fucking overbearing. I hate it. But we’ll all be better off if we get his consent first. He might ground me.”

“Ground you?” It doesn’t make any sense. The most efficient warrior Madara knows, seen as the White Demon by clueless fools and as the incredible genius he is by those who know him, a shinobi capable of standing up to the idiot their kind considers God being grounded by said decidedly ungodlike idiot is... mind-boggling, to say the least.

“He’s my Anija,” Tobirama says, long-suffering, as if that explains everything. Madara keeps staring. Tobirama sighs again, his thumb rubbing circles onto Madara’s wrist as he collects his thoughts before speaking again. “I allow it, really. He hasn’t been the same since Kawarama and Itama died, and there’s this anxiety and fear he has of me being in danger or taken advantage of by others. He’s never unreasonable, though, and you’re his best friend. I’m sure he’ll be lenient.”

Madara makes a face. “Perhaps.” The important thing, he thinks, is to avoid letting on exactly what he’d like to do to Hashirama’s younger brother. Madara is sure he wouldn’t be so ‘lenient’ if he knew. “It’s still strange.”

“Tell me about,” Tobirama groans, a helpless look in his eyes, “I even have a curfew.”

“What if,” Madara asks, “we’re back before the curfew?”

Tobirama glances at the watch. “We have three hours,” he says, tentative, “and we have to be impeccably cautious unless you want the Mokuton up your ass.”

“Literally?”

“Literally.”

“We are great shinobi precisely because we can be careful, Tobirama,” Madara says, lifting their still interlocked hands to give Tobirama’s a gentle kiss. “So I say let’s give it a try.”

Tobirama fixes him with a thoughtful, conflicted gaze for but a moment, yet even that seems too long, with Madara’s heart still racing from the brief conversation they’ve had, anticipating an actual fucking date with the manーthe geniusーhe couldn’t help but fall for, if only Tobirama saysー

“Yes.” Tobirama’s smile is a dazzling thing. “Let’s.”

One minute stretches past Tobirama’s curfew, and Hashirama is ready to crawl out of his skin. Not having his brother near him for their evening tea and easy conversation before bed is... a struggle. It's been a tradition of theirs for as long as he could remember, save for the evenings of battle, and Hashirama cherished each moment he spent with his little brother, the unambiguous reminder that he was alive, safe, and right there.

(Not like the two bodies, bloodied and broken and far too little, resting too small graves in a forgotten compound littered with the countless sacrifices of a meaningless war.)

Of course, he realizes that will soon be spending most of his evenings with Mito instead, that Tobirama had long been planning his move out of their shared home to give them privacy. And however much he’s enamored with his future wife, Hashirama can scarcely imagine not being near his brother at least half of any given day, the insidious fear of peacetime shattering and devolving into another bout of bloodshed ceaselessly clawing at his mind. 

It's fine, Anija, Tobirama would placate him were he here, as he always is, to listen to Hashirama's worries. I can take care of myself. You know this.

The clock ticks on, merciless, and soon enough it’s two minutes of Tobirama being lateーwhich he never is unless he’s in serious troubleーso, without further ado, Hashirama springs to his feet and runs out of the house. Channeling his chakra into the wood and plants around him is second nature by now, and he commands them to search the village and beyond for his Otouto, to immediately incapacitate any threat that might be endangering him. He follows their lead, little by little deciphering their vague, pulse-like 'speech’ which is more visual than resembling an audial message. Only the oldest trees, which have had time and put effort into studying humans around them, are able to communicate in the more normal sense of the term.

Luckily, Hashirama stumbles upon one of those soon enough.

Hello there, Kotomi, he greets the ancient willow tree stationed by the Administration Tower like the guard it is, unbeknownst to most people.

Looking for your Otouto? Kotomi asks, an inexplicable hint of derision in their tone.

Yes! Hashirama says, frantic. I think he’s in trouble. Do you know where he’s gone? He should have been back by now.

Don’t worry so much. He’s with the flailing firestarter. Having fun.

Madara? Hashirama frowns. The trees have taken to calling all the Uchiha firestarters and only ever use the word flailing to describe Madara, whose agitation and screaming seems to annoy them more often than not. Why would Tobirama break curfew for Madara? And are you sure it’s fun they’re having and not a fight?

Oh, they’re fighting all right, Kotomi actually tries imitating a giggle, which confuses Hashirama further, about who’s going to end up on top, apparently.

As the reality of the situation dawns on Hashirama, he can feel a different type of devastating horror overtaking him, as he realizes it’s not exactly Tobirama’s life he must fear for, but his innocence.

And to think his best friend would betray him this way. Hashirama clenches his fists, letting unbridled wrath wash over him in waves as he follows Kotomi’s direction towards Madara’s house.

Best friend or no, he will have to answer for his crimes.

Tobirama should have known they wouldn’t be able to make it in time for curfew. But, trapped now against the wall with his legs wrapped around Madara’s waist as he’s being kissed senseless, Tobirama finds he’s long since stopped caring.

Because they’ve been at this for an hour. A long, agonizing hour they intended, in all seriousness, to spend over tea at Madara’s place before Tobirama went back home but spectacularly failed to keep their hands to themselves. It should have been obvious, really; the closeness, their spirits high from a dinner date that went perfectly, the palpable desire in their chakra they could both sense and relished in how their signatures resonated. Fueled by just a touch of alcohol in place of the tea, then by a far-too-passionate kiss goodbye and just enough groping to warrant a continuation in the bedroom.

Madara’s bedroom. Which feels unreal, and even more so when Madara didn’t even manage to carry Tobirama all the way over to the bed, instead pinning him against the wall and trading shallow, intermittent kisses for a much more thorough exploration of Tobirama’s mouth, tongue hot, and demanding, and steadily driving Tobirama insane with want.

Tobirama moans, despite his efforts to keep quiet, too overwhelmed and craving to get Madara’s hands on him. Not like they are now, feeling him up through his clothes, but flush against his skin, sliding over his cock, moving inside him like he’s fantasized about far too oftenー

“Fuck,” Madara groans against his lips as they part for breath, just for a moment before leaning in for another messy, bruising kiss.

“Me, please,” Tobirama pants, pulling away this time to urge Madara towards their destination. “Bed.”

The ease with which Madara hauls him towards the futon only turns Tobirama on further, and he can’t help the keens and whimpers that escape as Madara claws his shirt off. His hands are finally on Tobirama’s chest, grazing his nipples, fingers digging into his sides as his chakra flares, hot and crackling, surging with lust and melding with Tobirama’s own as their cocks press together through too thick clothing.

“You haven’t actually done this before, have you?” Madara asks, voice lower than usual and strained as he speaks, pinning Tobirama with a gaze dark with unbridled desire.

Tobirama groans. “Was it that obvious?”

“You kiss well for a first time,” Madara says, grinning as he leans down to press his lips to Tobirama’s neck, “but I’m a sensor too, you know. You’d do well to calm down a bit.”

“I’m notーno, that’s not it,” Tobirama says, averting his eyes. As if he hasn’t lost count of how many times he’s touched, fingered himself, fucked himself with painfully insufficient toys with Madara’s name on his lips. And yet there’s treacherous embarrassment spiking up, fear creeping in that he’ll simply disappoint. “I am worried I’ll do something wrong.”

“Don’t be,” Madara whispers against his ear, kisses traveling down to his jaw and to his lips. “The only thing that can upset me is you not enjoying this.”

“I am,” Tobirama breathes, a shudder running through his body as Madara moves back to his neck, sucking bruises onto sensitive skin, making the pleasure all the more overwhelming.

“Good. But I’d like to do this right,” Madara says firmly, so unlike his usual blustering self, “and take things slow if you want. How about we keep things here for now?”

Tobirama amplifies the spike of annoyance in his chakra, lashing out with it enough to catch Madara off guard and flip them around.

“How about no?” he says, tugging Madara’s own overshirt off, relishing the thick, rippling muscles revealed for him to explore. “At least teach me how to suck you off. I’m a fast learner.”

“Fuck.” Madara squeezes his eyes shut, and Tobirama could swear he feels his cock twitch against his, though that may have just been his imagination. “You can’t just say things like that, Tobirama!”

“I can and I will.” Tobirama smirks, content to know he’s snared his target as Madara lets out a strangled moan when Tobirama palms him through his pants. “And do them, too, if you’ll let me.”

So contrary to his usual explosive nature, Madara seems conflicted, hesitant, even as Tobirama definitely feels his cock twitch this time.

This won’t do.

His own heart racing, throat dry and blood running hot, Tobirama leans in to mouth at his neck in an imitation of what Madara did to him before, just to test how sensitive he is.

The sound it earns him is divine. As is the way Madara’s grips his waist, pulling him closer, tangling a hand in Tobirama’s hair, tugging slightly as he trails a path of open-mouthed kisses to Madara’s chest.

“Tobirama...”

He keeps eye contact all the while, watching Madara bite his lip, trying and failing to hold in another groan, struggle to keep his eyes open, flickering between dark and red as his chakra flares hot like the fires of his jutsu. Beautiful, Tobirama thinks. So hot, panting and shivering under him, when all Tobirama is doing is lapping at his nipple, sucking it into his mouth, teeth just shy of grazing it. Then again, the taste of Madara’s skin, the closeness, the delicious feel of his chakra and the sounds he coaxes from the man are intoxicating, and Tobirama soon finds himself thrusting lightly against Madara’s thigh, hands wandering lower to touch him through his pants, finding him hard and already leaking through the fabric, andー

Another flare of pleasure, echoed by Tobirama’s own signature. He squeezes his eyes shut, overwhelmed, heat pooling in the base of his stomach as his cock aches for someーanyーkind of stimulation.

All right, maybe he’s a little overenthusiastic.

That isn’t any reason to stop, obviously.

Yet Madara’s sudden laugh, dark and low and feral for lack of any better word to describe it, gives Tobirama pause.

He moans, despite himself, as Madara’s grip on his hair tightens and he draws him up and away from his treat, and opens his eyes to the sight of a purely animalistic look on Madara’s face. Flushed, and panting, and still squirming under Tobirama’s hands, there’s no prior hesitation in his gaze, only pure, unbridled need.

Tobirama swallows heavily.

(Gods forbid Madara catches Tobirama actually drooling over him. What he does and doesn’t do behind closed doors is irrelevant; what Madara sees shouldn’t be as humiliating.)

"Teach you to suck me off, huh,” Madara says, voice closer to a growl as he cards his fingers through Tobirama’s hair, his other hand reaching down to still Tobirama’s that’s still palming his cock and guide him to a more languid rhythm. “You are infuriatingly eager.”

“And you,” Tobirama pants, “are infuriatingly slow. Honestly, I thought you’d be more efficient.”

It probably isn’t that convincing, what with Tobirama breaking into a gasp as Madara flares his chakra far, far stronger than he has up to this point, firewantlustsearing sensations prickling through Tobirama’s whole body, eliciting a whimper he’d be ashamed of if he had the capacity to be so, as his mind seems to self-destruct for a blinding flash of a moment.

Tobirama comes to slowly, thoughts still foggy, to the feel of Madara dragging his head towardsーoh. His cock, hard and slick with precome, bigger than Tobirama had expected even as he’d felt the girth through the fabric before.

“Whaー” Tobirama asks, because he’s certain Madara is saying something, if only the ringing in his ears would let him process it.

“I said get to work if you want it so much,” Madara command, the gaze blazing red now, tomoe spinning, recording this into memory which makes Tobirama all but preen under the scrutinyーand in the face of Madara’s devastating grin. “Go on. I’ll guide you through it.”

Tobirama lets out a shaky breath, ignoring his own cock pulsing, trapped painfully by the far-too-tight pants he’s taken to wearing to provoke more of Madara’s unsubtle ogling. Leaning down, he has time enough only to wrap his lips around the head of Madara’s cock, mouth stretching around hot, slick skin, the heady taste of precome on his tongueー

ーbefore the window crashes open and Tobirama’s mind flashes back to all the times he’d had to witness his Anija and Madara shout each other’s names stupidly across the battlefield.

“MADARA!”

Tobirama releases Madara with a not-quite decent pop which prompts Hashirama’s dramatic gasp.

“WH-WHY-HOーWOULD YOU FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER?!”

“What the fuck am Iーit’s none of your godsdamned business!” Madara scrambles to shove himself back in his pants. Tobirama almost wishes he wouldn’t; maybe continuing with the blowjob out of spite would have scandalized Anija enough for him to run off. “Get the fuck out of my house!”

“Will not! Why are you keeping Tobirama past his curfew?”

“Why does a full-fledged adult need a curfew, you worthless fucking tree stump?”

“So he’s not exposed to people who are intent on defiling him,” Hashirama says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “like you, apparently! Madara, I expected better from my best friend.”

“And I didn’t expect you to be a fucking control freak,” Madara shouts. “You don’t see me stalking and cockblocking Izuna, do you?”

“Well, no, but that only means I’m more diligent in looking out for my Otouto,” Hashirama huffs.

“What the hell are you implying?” Madara growls, chakra crackling like it does every time before he throws a punch or sets a fire.

Tobirama sighs, giving up his attempt at meditation from where he’s settled cross-legged next to Madara’s flailing form.

“Anija,” he intervenes, “may I remind you...”

“Tobi.” Hashirama turns towards him, an almost pitying look in his eyes. “Please don’t believe whatever lies Madara spouted at youーejaculate is not a healthy bedtime snack!”

Oh, gods. Not the healthy bedtime snacks again.

“What the fuckー” Madara looks about ready to implode now, and Tobirama places a hopefully comforting hand on his shoulder.

“To be fair, he is right,” Tobirama concedes, resisting the urge to simply Hiraishin out of the situation and leave the two idiots to deal with it themselves. But that would disprove his following point. “But I must once again remind you, Anija, that I am a grown-up. I have been killing people since I was four, and I improved the efficiency of our clan’s entire taxing policy when I was twelve. A possibleー” one-night stand, dalliance, arrangement, “ーrelationship is nothing I can’t handle.”

Tobirama hates how his heart skips a beat as he glances to see Madara’s reaction, only to find him still staring at Hashirama, a mesh of confusion and anger battling in his chakra as he alternates between confused whispers of “what the fuck” and “bedtime snacks.”

“Butーbut I had a glass of milk and your favorite cookies ready and you weren’t there,” Hashirama whines, lip quivering as his face crumpling in a way that only ever leads to tears.

“Anija, I will be there next time,” Tobirama says firmly, “I promise. But tonight, I’d like to spend with Madara.” He gives his brother a look that hopefully conveys get the fuck out of here, Anija enough for Hashirama to understand.

But of course not.

“So, what,” Hashirama says, throwing his hands up, “you’re now going to spend all your time with Madara and completely forget about me?”

Tobirama sighs. “No. All I wanted was a date, Anija.”

“A date which ends with him stealing your innocence?!”

Tobirama closes his eyes and counts to ten as he replies, “If I say no, will you believe me?” He was tempted to say, Yes, and I’ll enjoy every fucking moment of it, but decided against it, if only to keep Madara’s barely coherent stuttering and wheezing from turning into a full-fledged seizure.

“Yes! If you come back home for bedtime snacks after a perfectly serviceable date, I’m sure,” Hashirama says, classic puppy dog eyes in full swing, “because Madara, if you’re courting my brother, you have to take it slow and woo him properly!”

Madara’s reply to that is a low, threatening growl now that he’s shaken himself out of the shock. Just in case, Tobirama tightens the grip on his shoulder. It wouldn’t do for Konoha to be destroyed by these two after the recent anniversary of its founding.

“Anija,” Tobirama says as calmly as he is able (which is, admittedly, bordering on furious), "since I consider it preferable that ‘wooing’ me ‘properly’ includes at least one fucking blowjob this evening, stop spying on me, leave us be and I will talk to you tomorrow.”

“Waitー”

Completely ignoring his Anija’s hysterical flailing, Tobirama tugs on one of the Hiraishin markers in his bedroom, and the next second he and Madara land in a heap of tangled limbs on his futon, well withinー

“...the professional Anija-repellent traps I’ve developed over the years,” Tobirama explains while Madara struggles to get his bearings, “so we shouldn’t be disturbed anymore. IーI’m sorry about that.”

“What the fuck,” Madara seethes, eyes still wide and hair sticking out from his insistent pulling on it during Anija’s tirade, “even was that?”

Tobirama sighs, rolls his eyes, and decides to answer with a kiss, hard, wet and sloppy, hopefully distracting enough to keep Madara’s mind away from pesky cockblocking idiots who will be wise to stay away if they value their wellbeing. And blessedly, Madara kisses him back after but a moment of stillness, the wild mess of confusion and irritation that is his chakra mellowing, gradually, into the familiar simmer of heat, scorching, electrifying, melding with Tobirama’s desire in turn.

“How about,” he suggests amid short-lived open-mouthed kisses, unfastening Madara’s breeches somewhat clumsily in his urgency, “we focus on more... pressing matters, shall we?”

Madara lets out a surprised laugh, gaze never leaving Tobirama as he forges a wet trail with his lips down Madara’s chest. “Still so eager to, uh, part with your innocence, I see,” he tries for a joke which breaks off into a harsh breath as Tobirama sinks down to lick at the head of his half-hard cock, stifling a moan at the feel of it twitching against his lips.

“You have no idea,” he murmurs with a self-satisfied smirk before focusing entirely on the very hard, very mouthwatering task at hand.

[trashyswitch]

The Roaring 20′s

New Years Eve is finally here, and the Egos have opened up the bar to party! Chase, Jackie, Shawn and Henrik end up getting a little too drunk, and JJ and Marvin have to keep things under control.

Thankfully, everyone seems to be happy, playful and silly right now. This could be easy!...right?

There's a few swears in this fanfic. Just be warned.

It's New Years Eve, and the Egos have opened up the bar for some good ol' fashioned partying! A little known fact about Jamie: He is an AMAZING bartender! He can come up with those well-known alcoholic blends on the fly! How? He simply memorized them from working full-time as a bartender for many years, before his entertainment career took off! So, Jamie was volunteering behind the counter, serving up the Ego's favorite drinks. He was also keeping in mind how much each ego was drinking. Knowing Chase, he might end up overdoing it. Shawn was known for overdoing the drinks as well, so he'd have to keep an eye on both of them. Thankfully, Marvin didn't appear to be drinking very much. Telling by the cup in his hand, Marvin was most likely drinking something. But it was barely anything compared to the other Egos.

"Hey Jamie, my man! Can I have one of those Jack and cokes please?" Chase asked. Jamie smiled, nodded his head and took his glass back. He placed a few ice cubes into the glass, dumped some Jack Daniel's whiskey into the glass, and filled the rest of it with Coca Cola. Then, he handed it to Chase and put the lid back onto the Jack Daniel's.

"Thanks! You're the best! How long have you been bartending for?" Chase asked, taking a sip of his cocktail.

'35 years.' Jamie signed back. Chase choked on his drink.

"How old are you again?!" Chase asked, wide-eyed. Jamie laughed, and clapped his hands in amusement.

'Do you really wanna know?' Jamie asked, still silently laughing in both amusement and embarrassment.

"Yeah! How old are ya?" Chase repeated. Jamie shook his head with a big smile on his face.

'Older than I look, that's for sure.' Jamie replied.

"Aw, come on man! Specify!" Chase whined.

Jamie bursted out into another fit of laughter. He took a moment to calm down, before answering his question. 'Honestly? Older than the World War II survivors. I should be dead.' Jamie replied, before falling into another fit of laughter. Chase's face went pale, as he slowly, and awkwardly, placed his drink down on the coaster in front of him.

"Jesus...You're older than most of the boomers that are still living..." Chase muttered.

Jamie sighed. "Uncultured millennial's..." Jamie joked.

Chase gasped, causing Jamie to burst out laughing once again. "HEY! How DARE you make fun of me! I'll have you know, that the millennial's are the most well-behaved generation so far!" Chase argued.

'Is that true? Or is that just your biased opinion?' Jamie asked.

"He's right." Henrik butted in. "Millennial's are zhe most vell-behaved generation, according to scientists." Henrik clarified.

'Well, I'm not surprised. My generation was drinking, partying and having sex every evening.' Jamie mentioned.

"That's true." Chase agreed.

"And surprizingly, not a lot has changed, over zhe years..." Henrik muttered, before sipping on his drink. Jamie giggled at Henrik's last remark.

15 minutes later:

"Hey guys! I have a funny idea! Let's watch Unus Annus on YouTube! I'd like to see what kind of hilarious content is going up on that!" Chase suggested excitedly.

"Oh dear god...Not ZHIS again!" Henrik sighed, rubbing his nose.

Jamie clapped his hands, and pointed both index fingers at Chase. 'Let's do it!' Jamie signed excitedly.

"I'll get it ready!" Jackie yelled, running to Chase's room to grab the computer and the HDMI cord.

In a few minutes, all 6 egos were sitting on chairs in the living room, flipping through the channel and its content.

"Which one? We've got loooots of content to watch!" Chase asked.

"OOH! COOKING WITH-"

"NEIN! VE ARE NOT VATCHING ZHAT VONE!" Henrik interrupted Jackie.

"Awww...you're no fun..." Jackie whined.

"What about turning Ethan into a mummy?" Chase suggested.

"Sure!" Shawn replied.

'Good choice!' Jamie signed.

"Okay. Zhat's user friendly." Henrik replied.

Chase turned on the video, and sat down.

[After the year long countdown played, Ethan started describing what he wanted his body to be mummified with, and surrounded by. Soon, the pair found a Ted Talk on making a Mummy.

"Are you gonna have to put your hand in my mouth?!" Ethan asked in surprise and horror.

"Oooh yeah." Mark said in a smooth voice.

"Noooooo..." Ethan said in a monotone voice.]

"I don't like how sexy that sounded..." Marvin admitted. Chase bursted out laughing at the remark.

[The narrator started explaining the process, telling Mark and Ethan about the spike hammered into the skull, the mashing of the brain, flushing it from the nose, and the pouring of the tree resin into the skull.

"It's a Neti Pot!" Ethan exclaimed.

"What?!" Mark reacted to Ethan's remark.

"We've done step three already!" Ethan added. Mark bursted out in deep laughter.]

"What- when did they do that?" Shawn asked.

"They used a Neti Pot in a previous video." Chase explained.

"It's a nose-cleansing device. You put it in your right nostril, it runs through zhe right nostril, and out zhe left nostril." Henrik explained.

Jamie's facial expression turned to horror, as he covered his nose and mouth in pure horror. Chase laughed at Jamie's reaction, before looking back at the video.

[The duo discover through doing the Unus Annus videos, they've already done the first few steps of mummification.]

"I feel like we're skipping a few videos by choosing this one..." Shawn commented.

"Kinda, but not really." Chase replied.

[Mark comments on how Ethan speaks normally off camera.

"You're like uh, you're like uh...Yu-Gi-Oh! You're like Yu-Gi-Oh! When you open the EGYP-TIAN...pyramid-"

Ethan's hair gets covered by a PNG image of Yu-Gi-Oh's hair, and the background slowly changes to an action-based animation from the Yu-Gi-Oh anime.

"-Turn into another person!" Mark finishes.

"It's...all connected." Ethan exclaims, clapping the bottom of his right hand, over the palm of his left hand.]

Jamie, Jackie and Chase all laughed at the Yu-Gi-Oh transformation.

["How are we gonna do the first steps?" Ethan asked, as he laid on the table.

"I am going to suck out your brain, with this patented brain sucker." Mark replied, showing Ethan the box that said NOSEFRIDA on the front.

"OH! MY GOD!" Ethan yelled, in silly horror.]

"Hahahaha! Zhat's PERFECT!" Henrik laughed.

"What is it?" Marvin asked.

"He explains it." Chase replied.

["This is meant to suck the snot out of baby's noses." Mark explained.]

"Oh...OH NO!" Marvin exclaimed, laughing in slight horror.

["What if I..." Mark said, before walking away. "I'll be right back." Mark said, leaving through the white door on the right.

Suddenly, Mark came barreling into the room, with a sucking device, shaped like a gun.

"DON'T put it in your nose, if it's going in mine!" Ethan warned. "Now remember: The safe word is please." Ethan said, making Mark laugh.]

"OH GOD NO!" Jackie reacted, covering his mouth and nose with his hands.

[After a first attempt, it was discovered that Mark, will certainly, have to do it himself.

"Fine. I will SUCK! THE FUCK! out of your brains!" Mark declared, bending down to his knees.]

Marvin and Jamie laughed at that.

[Mark put the end of the tube in his mouth, and started sucking.]

Chase gasped. "EWW! OHOHO MY GAHAHAD!" Chase shouted, laughing in pure disgust.

"That's DISGUSTING!" Jackie exclaimed.

"Do people have to actually do that to their babies?!" Marvin asked.

"Yup! I've done it once. But, it's a lot less uncomfortable when it's your baby. When a MAN, is sucking the SNOT out of ANOTHER MAN, THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER STORY!" Chase replied.

[After the sucking part, Mark and Ethan moved onto the guts part.

"I think, for you, more than just your heart is is the seed of your soul. I think your tum tum-" "I think your gutty wutty's-" "Livvy witty-" "Panc-wee-essy-" Mark cooed. Ethan bursted out in flustered giggles]

"Hahaha! That's adowable!" Chase cooed.

Jamie's face turned slightly red. 'Stop.' Jamie signed.

"What? Why? Are you embawassed? Is de wittwe boy embawassed?" Chase asked in a baby voice.

Jamie covered his face in embarrassment, and nodded.

"Awww! That's SOOO adowable! Where are those dimples? I wanna see those dimples!" Chase cooed, wiggling his fingers to further tease the man.

Jamie removed his hands to sign. 'Stop please!" Jamie signed.

"THERE'S those adowable dimples! I see them! Oh yes, I see them!" Chase cooed, poking and squeezing Jamie's cheeks.

Jamie, already embarrassed as it is, was now getting his cheeks squeezed like a baby?! That's taking it to another level. Even though he was a father who knew how to tease a person to oblivion, Jamie still knew how to embarrass Chase back. Jamie reached his hands out, and skittered his fingers under Chase's armpits.

"AHAHA! SHIT! NOHO! JA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chase bursted out loudly, bouncing back, and feeling his back hit the couch with a thump. Jamie took advantage of the situation and continued his tickle attack.

"Ooooh! Looks like Jamie's got the upper hand! Let's see how long THIS lasts!" Jackie cheered.

Shawn, who giggling at the sight, quietly got up behind the dapper boy and squeezed Jamie's sides. Jamie squealed in surprise, and giggled as Shawn start spidering his fingers on his sides. However, Jamie wasn't giving up so easily...Jamie reached his hands behind him, and felt his hands touch someone's knee. sensing who's it was, Jamie smirked, wrapped his fingers around the top of his knee and squeezed.

"AH! Gahahad dahahahamn ihihit!" Shawn let out, letting go and falling into a puddle of giggles. Jamie quickly whipped himself around, lifted up Shawn's leg and skittered his fingers under Shawn's knee.

"BAHAhahahahaha! Yohohohou suhuhuhuhuhuck!" Shawn yelled, bursting into even more laughter.

Jamie's choice to ignore Chase, ended up being a big mistake. Because before Jamie could stop it, Chase had grabbed his ankle, pulled off his shoe, and started scratching his socked foot. Jamie's whole body jolted, before dropping the leg and attempting to scoot away and pull his foot free. But Jamie had fallen into a trap! He had scooted himself into Shawn's arms! Shawn pushed his arms through Jamie's armpits, and held him down.

"Now Chase! Get 'em!" Shawn commanded quickly. Chase wasted no time, as he continued scratching and wiggling his fingers on specific spots on his foot. Jamie arched his back and silently laughed as a bad spot on his foot was attacked wildly. Refusing to get stuck like this forever, Jamie kept his back arched and got ready to reach his hands back.

All of a sudden, Chase moved his fingers to the inner arch of Jamie's foot. Uh oh! Not good! Jamie threw his head back as the new spot was scratched, and wounded up delaying his attack for a couple seconds. With his mind focused once again, Jamie reached his hands behind him.

"Oh no you don't!" Shawn warned, wrapping his arms around Jamie's to stop him. However, That ended up helping Jamie in the long run! Jamie felt for somewhere on his sides. Feeling his hands touch Shawn's hips, he wasted no time and drilled his fingers right into Shawn's hips.

"AAAH! WAIT! JAHAHAHAMIE! NAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Shawn bursted out, falling into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Chase stopped for a moment. "What- How are you so flexible?!" Chase exclaimed, unable to relate.

Shawn, who was still trying to keep Jamie detained, tried to stay focused on holding onto him, while Jamie attacked his worst spot. Though, he wasn't making it easy for him. Jamie had fallen into a pattern of wiggling, and drilling. Wiggling, and drilling. continuing his drilling, before switching to wiggling. He stayed wiggling for a little while, before drilling AND wiggling at the same time.

"JAHAHAHAMIHIHIE! PLEHEHEHEASE! I CAHAHAN'T TAHAHAHAKE IHIHIHIT!" Shawn pleaded.

"I think the only way you're getting out of this one, is by letting go of the guy." Marvin commented, snickering at Jamie's shit-eating grin.

Jamie winked at Marvin, before he switched tactics from wiggling in the hollows of his hips, to drilling his ring fingers into the back of his hips.

"WAHAHAIT! NOHOHOT THERE! NOT THEHEHEHERE!" Shawn shouted.

Jamie changed from drilling, to wiggling. He wiggled, and wiggled and wiggled, until he switched to his middle fingers from the first set getting tired.

"WAI- SHIHIHIHIHIT! OKAHAHAHAY! OHOHOKAHAHAHAY!!" Shawn shouted, removing his arms as quick as possible, and flopping his arms above his head in surrender. Jamie tried to get off the couch, but ended up falling off the couch due to his foot still being stuck. His head and his back was against the ground, while his feet were still on the couch. His right foot was sitting there lazily, while his left foot was still captured by Chase's hand.

"Ouch...How did that feel?" Chase asked, referring to his head. Jamie rolled his eyes and gave him the middle finger.

"Bahahaha! Yeah! Go give yourself a fuck, Chase!" Marvin yelled. Henrik guffawed and covered his mouth, remembering the game the quote was from. Chase's jaw dropped, as he turned his head to Marvin.

"How about you shut your mouth before I shut it for you?" Chase threatened, jumping up, and sprinting to take down Marvin.

"Wha- WaitwaitWAITWAIT WAIT! CHASE! I'M SORRY! DO-" Chase picked up Marvin, placed his back onto the back of the couch, and pushed him over. Marvin's body did a full 180, before his head landed on the couch seat, and his legs rested on the back of the couch. Marvin was essentially sitting upside down on the couch. For Chase, that was exactly what he wanted. Chase grabbed Marvin's ankles and readied them under his arm.

"What are you even doing? Play wrestling? OoooOOOHHH GOHOHOD! AW COHOHOME OHOHOHON, MAHAHAN!" Marvin yelled, bursting into laughter as the soles of his feet were being scratched by Chase's fingers.

"Hey! You started it with your Little Misfortune bologna. I'm just returning the favor!" Chase shot back, scratching on the underside of his heel. Marvin's laughter turned to cackles, as he shook his head and flailed his arms. Chase had him in a position where, if he wanted revenge, he was gonna need a lot of core strength. Unfortunately for him, that was one thing he lacked.

Not only that, but during his squirming, Marvin's shirt had fallen down a bit, exposing his belly a little bit. Henrik, who was sitting right beside the upside down laughing magician, couldn't help but smile and lift his right hand up to the exposed tummy.

"Somevone's got a cute leetle tummy, I see. Boop! Boop boop boop!" Henrik complimented, giving his belly and his belly button a few pokes and scratches.

"HEHEHEHEHEY! NOHOHOT YOU TOOHOHOHOHOHO! THIHIHIS IHIHIS UHUHUNFAHAHAHAHAIR!" Marvin yelled through his laughter. He tried to cover up his stomach, but Henrik grabbed his wrists and pushed them against the couch cushion. With his dominant hand, he continued to skitter his fingers on Marvin's tummy.

"PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!" Marvin begged.

"Please vhat? Please tickle you more? Alright! Shawn?" Henrik said, turning his head towards Shawn. "Do you have a paint brush vizh you?" Henrik asked.

Shawn smiled, and pulled a paintbrush out of his pocket. "Always do." Shawn said, throwing the paintbrush his way. Henrik caught it.

"Zhanks!" Henrik said, before dipping the paintbrush into his belly button.

“AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOOOHOHOHOHOHO!” Marvin begged, squirming his belly to get away from the paintbrush. However, the paintbrush would only follow his squirming and dip itself back into his belly button.

“Vhat’s wrong, Marvin? Toooooooo ticklish?” Henrik asked, smirking as he started to spin the paintbrush.

“CHAHAHAHAHASE! TOOHOHOHOHO MUHUHUHUCH!” Marvin yelled. Henrik looked towards the end of the couch, and saw Chase...tickling under his toes!

“This little piggy went to the market...” Chase said, wiggling his big toe. Henrik's eyes widened, as a smile grew onto his lips in amusement.

“NOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEHEASE DOHOHOHON’T!” Marvin begged, his face turning red as he laughed.

This little piggy went home...” Chase said, wiggling the second toe.

“YOHOHOHOHOU’RE SOHOHOHO MEHEHEHEHEAN!” Marvin yelled.

“This little piggy had ticklish wittle feetsies...” Chase teased, changing up the lyrics to further ridicule him as he wiggled the middle toe.

“THAHAHAT MAHAHAKES NO SEHEHEHENSE!” Marvin exclaimed.

“This little piggy had none!” Chase said, wiggling the second last toe.

“LAHAHAHAY OHOHOHOFF, WIHIHILL YAHAHA?!” Marvin yelled.

“And THIS little piggy went...” Chase teased, pausing the rhyme to create more suspense. Instantly, Chase skittered all 5 fingers on the entire foot. “WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE! All the way home!” Chase cooed.

“HAHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Marvin laughed. His face was practically a tomato, and his body was starting to get REALLY tired! So, Chase let go of his legs, and pushed his legs to the side. Marvin's whole body fell comfortably onto his side, as the exhausted Marvin laid there, breathing deeply through his mouth.

"You okay? We didn't kill ya, did we?" Chase asked.

"I-*huff* I'm fine... *huff* I'll be *Huff* *Huff* Fihihine...*Huff*" Marvin said through his breaths.

Chase let out a sigh of relief. Henrik handed Shawn back his paintbrush, while Jamie sat back onto the couch with a big smile on his face, that he just couldn't hide.

"What's so funny?" Chase asked, both suspicious and curious about his motives.

'imagining your reaction to my plan to get revenge.' Jamie signed, before tackling him down.

"Jamie, Wait- HAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!" Chase exclaimed, before bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter, from Jamie's fingers in his armpits.

Jamie's smile grew wider as his fingers skittered and scratched, and soon decided to move down to his ribs.

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAT THE RIHIHIHIBS! AHAHANYTHIHIHING BUT THEHEHE RIHIHIHIHIBS!" Chase shouted, shaking his head back and forth as Jamie dug into and in between the ribs.

Jamie gave Chase the puppy face, before taking in a quick inhale, and...Blew a big raspberry! right on Chase's ribs!

Chase's laughter turned into cackles, as his face turned a deep scarlet color! His hat came flying off as well!

Liking how red his face had gotten, Jamie took in an inhale, and blew short raspberries on multiple ribs!

This was when Chase's laughter went silent. He seemed just about done. It didn't take long, but that didn't really matter. Jamie smiled, messed up his hair a little, and got up off of him.

As Jamie walked, he was suddenly stopped, by Shawn of all people. Jamie crossed his arms, putting on an irritated teenage face.

"It's my turn for revenge." Shawn announced, before grabbing Jamie, flipping him around, and shoving his hands into his sides once again.

Jamie squealed, and fell into a massive puddle of giggles as he squirmed around in Shawn's stronghold.

"Jackie! Grab his arms!" Shawn ordered quickly. Jackie nodded, stood up and quickly grabbed his arms and held them out in front of him.

Once his arms were completely contained, Shawn continued tickling his sides, and squeezed his tummy a little bit as well. Jamie laughed, giggled, cackled and squirmed through the whole thing. He even let out a few snorts! That was an adorable thing to hear! Eventually, before the clocked striked twelve, everyone had gotten their share of ticklish revenge. Happy New Year, everyone! May everyone have an amazing 2020.

[firstpuffin]

DC movies and an obsession with spectacle: calm down guys!

-Note= I need to clarify that this is only about the live-action movies, the cartoons don’t have this problem.

There are a lot of problems with the current lot of movies from DC comics; trying to copy the MCU but coming from the wrong direction, cliché characters unlike their comic book origins and dodgy writing. But my biggest problem wasn’t any of these.

  Now let’s be clear, Wonder Woman (WW) was the best movie up until the recent Shazam, but it was during WW where I first began to notice the problem. Afterwards I noticed that Man of Steel has traits of this, although my problem with that movie is that it felt like a summary rather than a movie. This was the start of DC movies not feeling like movies.

  It was during Aquaman that I finally found the word for the problem and that was “spectacle”. All of these movies put a focus on being showy, on providing a spectacle for the viewer and quite often putting all common sense or narrative aside for the time being.

  Just look at every action scene, every time that time slows down and we see fighters basically dance about. WW had it at the start when the Germans landed at Themyscira (is it just me who thinks that sounds like “the mascara”?) and again at the end when she was fighting Aries (so dumb). Aquaman was almost entirely spectacle, two and a half hours of generic writing, pretty settings and flashy combat.

 Now Wonder Woman had its good points. That battlefield scene everybody loves, that bit where she’s trying to adjust to the outside world… there’s probably more but I haven’t watched it in a while. Aquaman was kinda funny but didn’t overdo it like Thor: Ragnarok, although it lost all comedy towards the end. The story and characters were dull but at least the action was fun.

  But decent choreography and even the narrative itself was set aside for what I keep calling “spectacle”. What do I mean by spectacle? Well the best way I’ve had to explain it before I found the word is that it looks like art. This would be fine on its own and could actually be a very interesting genre for further movies, but DC should have committed to that. Instead we get attempts at a narrative that are temporarily forgotten or not given the appropriate thought while the spectacle is often quite excessively over the top.

 So what did Shazam do well? Well for one thing there was a lack of slow motion and fancy dance combat. In fact, it didn’t take itself too serious at all. Emotionally it was sound as well. It showed a boy struggling to deal with something that to the outside is obvious (no spoilers), it showed him forming new relationships and they didn’t go the obvious direction for his personal sub-plot.

 I hope that this was clear; I have to admit that I’m still working my head around this idea of DC spectacle. Still, Shazam was a great step forward and hopefully they will improve further. There is absolutely room to do so.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Why so many people type 'lol' with a straight face: An investigation

There's a deceitful act I've been engaging in for years—lol—but it wasn't until recently, while texting a massive rant to a friend, that I became aware of just how bad it is. 

I'd just sent an exhaustive recap of my nightmarish day when a mysteriously placed "lol" caught my eye. Not a single part of me had felt like laughing when I typed the message, yet I'd ended my massive paragraph with the words, "I'm so stressed lol."

I had zero recollection of typing the three letters, but there they were, just chilling at the end of my thought in place of a punctuation mark. I hadn't found anything funny, so why were they there? Unclear! I scrolled through my conversations and noticed "lol" at the end of nearly every message I’d sent — funny or not. That's when I realized how frequently and insincerely I use the initialism in messages. I was on auto-lol.

SEE ALSO: Crush Twitter proves that sometimes subtweets can be good

The next day, I arrived to work with a heightened sense of lol awareness and took note of my colleagues' behavior on Slack. They too, overused "lol" in conversation. Chrissy Teigen tweeted about the family hamster again? "Lol." Someone's selling a jean diaper? "Lol." Steve Buscemi's name autocorrected to Steph Buscemi? "Lol."

It was ubiquitous. And though some made audible chuckles at their desks throughout the day, the newsroom remained relatively silent. People were not laughing out loud whenever they said they were. It was all a sham!

As I'm sure is true with everyone, there are times when I'll type "lol" and smile, chuckle, or genuinely laugh out loud. But I'm also notoriously capable of assembling the three letters without moving a facial muscle.

Curious to know why so many of us insist on typing "lol" when we aren't laughing, I turned to some experts.

Why so serious? Lol.

Lisa Davidson, Chair of NYU's Department of Linguistics, specializes in phonetics, but she's also a self-proclaimed "prolific user" of "lol" in texts. When I approached Davidson in hopes of uncovering why the acronym comes out of people like laugh vomit, she helpfully offered to analyze her own messaging patterns.

On its surface, Davidson suspects "the written and sound structure" of "lol" is pleasing, and the symmetry of how it's typed or said likely adds to that appeal. The 'l' and 'o' are also right next to each other on a keyboard, she notes, which makes for "a very efficient acronym." In taking a deeper look, however, she recognized several other reasons one might overdo it with the initialism.

Davidson often sees "lol" used in conjunction with self-deprecating humor, or to poke fun at someone in a bad situation, like "if someone says they're stuck on the subway, and you text back 'lol, have fun with that.'" And in certain cases, she notes, "lol" can be included "to play down aggressiveness, especially if used in conjunction with something that might come across as critical or demanding."

"For example, if you're working on a project with a co-worker, and they save a file to the wrong place in a shared Drive, you [might] say something like, 'Hey, you put that file in the Presentations folder, lol. Next time can you save it to Drafts?'" 

Extremely relatable.

Admitting we have a problem

After hearing from Davidson, I set out to analyze a few of my own text messages. I found several of her interpretations applicable and even discovered a few specific to my personal texting habits.

When telling my friend about my stressful day, for instance, I realized I'd included the lol that anchored my message for comfort, like a nervous giggle. In my mind, it meant I was keeping things light, which must mean everything's OK. In many cases, I also add "lol" to a message to make it sound less abrasive. Without it, I fear a message comes across as cold or incomplete.

On occasion, I'll send single "lol" texts to acknowledge I've received a message, but have nothing else to add to the conversation. And as much as it pains me to admit, the lol is sometimes there as a result of laziness. I experience moments of pure emotional exhaustion in which I'd rather opt for a short and sweet response than fully articulate my thoughts. In those cases, "lol" almost always delivers.

A poor soul removing his "lol" mask after a long day of pretending to laugh.

Image: bob al-greene / mashable

The realization that "lol" has become a sort of a conversational crutch for me is somewhat disturbing, but I can take a shred of solace knowing I'm not alone. As previously noted, many of my colleagues are also on auto-lol. (If you need some proof, 3,662 results popped up when I searched the term in Mashable Slack, and those are just the lols visible to me.)

When I brought up the topic of lol addiction in the office, offenders quickly came forward in an attempt to explain their personal behavior. Some said they use it as a buffer word to fill awkward silences, while others revealed they consider it a kinder alternative to the dreaded "k."

Several people admitted they call upon "lol" in times when they feel like being sarcastic or passive aggressive, whereas others use it to avoid confrontation, claiming it "lessens the blow of what we say." 

"I've also noticed a lot with my friends that if they say something that creates a sense of vulnerability they'll use 'lol' or 'haha' to diminish its importance," another colleague noted.

While there are a slew of deeper meanings behind "lol," sometimes the lack of audible laughter simply comes down to self-control. You can use the term to communicate you genuinely think something's funny, but you might not be in a physical position to laugh about it — kind of how people type "I'M SCREAMING" and do not scream.

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A post shared by ❝ randy ❞ (@randecent) on Aug 11, 2017 at 6:56pm PDT

Understanding the auto-lol epidemic

Nearly everyone I spoke to believed the auto-lol epidemic is real. But how exactly we as a society arrived at this place of subconscious laughter remains a mystery.

Though "lol" reportedly predates the internet, a man named Wayne Pearson claims to have invented the shorthand in the '80s as a way to express laughter online. As instant messaging and texting became more popular, so did "lol," and at some point, its purpose pivoted from solely signifying laughter to acting as a universal text response.

Caroline Tagg, a lecturer in Applied Linguistic and English Language at Open University in the UK, favors emoji over "lol," but as the author of several books about digital communication — including Discourse of Text Messaging: Analysis of SMS Communication — she's very familiar with the inclusion of laughter in text.

"Over time, its use has shifted, and it has come to take on other meanings — whether that's to indicate a general mood of lightheartedness or signal irony," Tagg confirms. "These different meanings emerge over time and through repeated exposure to the acronym."

In some cases, the decision to include "lol" in a message might be stylistic — "an attempt to come across in a particular way, to perform a particular persona, or to adopt a particular style." 

Ultimately, Tagg believes everyone perceives "lol" in text differently, and makes the conscious decision to use the initialism for various reasons, which are usually influenced by "conversational demands."

As for the increase in frequency over time, she noted that if you engage in conversation with someone who's a fan of saying "lol," you could wind up using the term more often. "Generally speaking ... people who are in regular contact with each other do usually develop shared norms of communication and converge around shared uses," she said. 

Think of it like a vicious cycle of contagious text laughter.

Embarking on an lol detox

Now that I'm aware of my deep-seated lol dependency, I'm trying my best to change it. I encourage anyone who thinks they might be stuck in an lol rut to do the same.

The way I see it we have two options: Type lol less, or laugh out loud more. The latter sounds pretty good, but if you're committed to keeping your Resting Text Face, here are some tips.

Try to gradually wean yourself off your reliance on lol by ending messages with punctuation marks instead, using a more specific emoji in place of your laughter, or making an effort to better articulate yourself. Instead "lol," maybe, "omg that's hilarious," for example. 

At the very least, try changing up your default laugh setting once in a while. Different digital laughs carry different connotations. If you're ever in doubt about which to use, you can reference this helpful guide:

LOL/HAHA — I really think this thing is hilarious as shown by my caps!

Lol — Bitch, please OR I have nothing to say.

lollllllllll — Yo, that's pretty funny.

el oh el — So unfunny I feel the need to type like this.

haha — Funny but not worth much of my time.

hahahaha — Funny and worth my time!

hah/ha — This is not amusing at all and I want to make that known.

HA — Yes! Finally!

Lmao/Lmfao — When something evokes more comedic joy than "lol" does.

LMAO/LMFAO — Genuine, impassioned laughter, so strong you feel as though your rear end could detach from your body.

Hehehe — You are softly giggling, were just caught doing something semi-suspicious or sexting, or are a small child or a serial killer. This one really varies.

heh — Sure! Bare minimum funny, I guess! Whatever!

In very special cases, consider clarifying that you are literally laughing out loud. As someone who's received a few "Actually just laughed out loud" messages in my lifetime, I can confirm that they make me feel much better than regular lol messages.

One of the major reasons we rely so heavily on representations like "lol" in digital interactions is because we're desperately searching for ways to convey emotions and expressions that can easily be picked up on in face-to-face conversations. It works well when done properly, but we've abused lol's polysemy over the years. After all the term has done for us, it deserves a break.

If we make the conscious effort to scale back, we might be able to prevent "lol" from losing its intended meaning entirely.

WATCH: How scientists are working to prevent your body from being 'hacked'

[teesturtle]

Hot Cow Yes i am a member of the csi team cant stand idiots shirt

Hot Cow Yes i am a member of the csi team cant stand idiots shirt

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Study all product info just before choosing to get. Photographs on the web is often deceiving. Things could be photographed to check larger sized or greater that they actually are. Carefully browse the whole explanation to learn exactly what you would get.

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[justlanroyref-blog]

Dating someone a week after a breakup

Is a week after a break My relationship of 25 years ended 2 years ago.  To be honest Natasha after my long term relationship I briefly dated a guy that letterly screw me over.  You do need to work on yourself and why you feel so insecure in your relationship.  After all, he made the decision to end things.  I literally asked if she thought a week was too soon, and she said yes.

Ex GF Just Broke Up W/ Me 2 Weeks Ago And Is Already Dating/sleeping With Another Guy Having time away gives you the opportunity to see things clearly.  Don't use social media as a cheap alternative to therapy.  Now part of this behavior could be due to your excellent work in your social media tactics to portray yourself as the and how you are turning around your life and living such a happy existence.  The Guilt You've made mistakes? I haven't attempted to reach her since.  Sitting at home for 30 days, wallowing in self-pity, is not going to cut it.  I asked him to only contact me if he wants to work it out….

How long after a breakup? : OkCupid Therefore, in this case, if your girlfriend does contact you, then I would be inclined to let her know that you are taking some 'time out' as you realize that your behavior is not having a positive effect on the relationship.  Nonetheless, I know I will overcome it.  It's an irrational, deep-wired fight-or-flight fear, that makes us do all the stupid things we do… like pleading, calling or harassing our exes.  So to get rid of his guilt, your ex boyfriend will feel compelled to right his wrong by reaching out to you with texts.  So your ex boyfriend will find some way to convey some hostility, without being rude.  She has asked me a number of times to be friends but i dont feel like i can, not anytime soon anyway.

Ex GF Just Broke Up W/ Me 2 Weeks Ago And Is Already Dating/sleeping With Another Guy If you can't let it go then you have to go.  We tend to give up hobbies, that we once so enjoyed, in order to spend time with our partner.  To help overcome this period of 'grief,' you must keep yourself as busy as possible.  Our relationship was going trough rough stages.  While this is perfectly natural, it is not what no contact is about.  They are there to help you rebuild yourself.

No Contact Rule: 9 HUGE Benefits of Going Silent After a Breakup Still, she's my 1 and I miss her and our future tremendously.  He told me that I was the only person for him and he wants to be together forever and asked for another chance.  Well the thing is he has a girlfriend and they have a child.  You need to take time to grieve and to work through the subsequent stages of the process.  My friend has confessed feelings he has harboured for quite some time.  Instead, my wife is challenging, always testing my boundaries, spicing up my life with her colorful, emotional facets.  Often a former lover will reach out to you frequently just to keep tabs on you.

Dating After A Breakup If you're on the receiving end of a break up, devastated and definitely not over it, how long do you wait to either re-open your profile or create one? Mind you we leave in different parts of the world.  Ideally, you should not frequent places where you know he may be.  It's only been two weeks since this happened, and I can't even think about the no contact rule.  I want you to be careful if you get this kind of text as you do not want to end up in! Remember, when you are in the no contact period, your ex is going to be feeling just as vulnerable as you are.  Or your ex boyfriend might have an evil streak in him and is just jerking your chain.  After 3 months of not hearing from him.  It is heartening to see one recover from this emotional pit.

How long after a breakup? : OkCupid Fact i was set thinking she is the one.  Honestly, it should make him want you more because he had to wait.  He said he had the curiosity of knowing what other people could offer.  Find your friends and do things with them.  If you want him to stop texting, then you have several options: don't reply to his texts, block his number, or change yours.

My ex gf started dating someone else 1 week after she'd left me. This fact disturbs me a lot, what should I do? He seems determined even more than before.  I didn't even know what was possible.  She texted she'd call on approx.  Is it really a bad idea to send a goodbye to her family? My ex just broke up with me about 2 weeks ago.  We spent about 6 months together long distance as we had before.  By all means, let them know that you are going through a breakup, but don't solely use them as a shoulder to cry on.

7 Powerful Benefits of the No I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket.  This is usually what people do if they work together, have children, or have joint financial assets.  We would break up most of the time because i would overdo it without giving her space cuz i was scared to lose her.  And I do believe things happen for a reason.  Please don't allow yourself to be in denial over this.

Ex GF Just Broke Up W/ Me 2 Weeks Ago And Is Already Dating/sleeping With Another Guy She felt vulnerable, she needed space? I told her I loved her all the time and did what I could to support and make her happy.  That mainly stems from how little time passed since the break-up.  They spend so much time with a man that they start to forget their own identity.  To clarify, no contact is not.  That means the terms should be spelled out before you break contact.

[rjhamster]

Psalm 73:15-25

Psalm 73:15-25

(15) If I had said, “I will speak thus,” Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. (16) When I thought how to understand this, It was too painful for me— (17) Until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I understood their end. (18) Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction. (19) Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors. (20) As a dream when one awakes, So, Lord, when You awake, You shall despise their image. (21) Thus my heart was grieved, And I was vexed in my mind. (22) I was so foolish and ignorant; I was like a beast before You. (23) Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. (24) You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. (25) Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. New King James Version   Change your email Bible version

Putting the picture together correctly, we can grasp the thread of the psalmist's thoughts as his trial proceeded. The psalmist was in grave spiritual danger of misjudging his suffering as punishment for sin. In reality, he was harshly judging God, accusing Him of unfairly overdoing a painful correction. Is it even possible to find God being unjust? Earlier in the psalm, the psalmist was indeed guilty of a sin: He clearly perceived his envy of the wicked. However, his grasp of the real problem was late in coming: that he was filled with fear and lacked faiththat God was truly always with him, overseeing his life, his best interests, and therefore his spiritual development.

His lack of faith and its resulting fear drove his envy, twisting his mind into perceiving the wicked as better off. The issue clarified when he went into the sanctuary and began to see through prayer that God was fully justified and not picking on him unfairly. By the term “sanctuary,” he may have literally meant the Tabernacle or Temple, but we can understand that it does not have to be a literal building but a place of private prayer in communion with God where He enabled him to think correctly. Verses 21-24 clarify this.

Thus, the psalmist immediately began a four-step program:

1. He continued on by faith, enduring the suffering.

2. He prayed fervently for God's solution to take effect.

3. He firmly rejected any attempt to solve the problem on the basis of his own spiritual righteousness.

4. He was thoughtfully careful that he did not misjudge his circumstances any further.

The truth expressed in II Timothy 1:6-7 is helpful. “Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” God's gift of His Spirit enables us to confront our fears and make sound spiritual judgments in alignment with His will. It leads us to understand that, once we are called and converted, these trials, though sometimes very difficult, are rarely punishments. They are exercises in learning good judgment regarding faith, love, and fear.

— John W. Ritenbaugh

[lindyhunt]

HubSpot's Guide to Becoming a Better Writer

When I was nine, I wrote a short story for my avid reader base … a.k.a. my mom and dad and dog, Maggie. It was about roller coasters and featured my best friend Abby, but that’s about all I remember from my first literary masterpiece.

I’ve always loved writing, and I’m so grateful that I get to write every single day (albeit about marketing and not theme parks). I mean, I get paid to do this. How cool is that?

But just because I landed my dream job doesn’t mean I’ve stopped improving my writing. In fact, I feel more motivated than ever to discover new habits and master new writing skills.

Writing is an integral part of life. Regardless of what your job is, writing is a key part of being a great employee, student, and communicator.

We believe everyone can become a better writer — even those of us on our blog team here at HubSpot. Consider us your partners on this journey and this guide as your beacon. Use the chapter links below to jump ahead to a particular section, or keep reading to dive right in.

Writing skills improve grammar, spelling, punctuation, language, and writing style. There are also different writing skills required for different types of content, such as memos, letters, and emails.

Lastly, mastering the art of writing and the discipline required to be a writer is a skill in itself, too! (And, believe me, these skills are sometimes the hardest to master.)

Why Writing Skills Matter

Writing is a form of communication, and becoming a better writer is essentially becoming a better communicator.

We communicate all day, every day. Even when we’re not opening our mouths, we’re communicating through our body language, facial expressions, physical movements — and with our written words.

Whether you’re sending an important memo to your team at work, writing a letter to your child’s teacher, building a presentation for a potential investor, or simply emailing your doctor, writing skills help you communicate in a clear and confident manner.

Where Writing Skills Matter

Writing skills are universal. They’re applicable to almost every part of our lives.

At work, writing skills help us communicate with co-workers, managers, and customers. They help us create effective emails, presentations, blog posts, social media posts, and marketing campaigns. They also come in handy when you might be applying to new jobs using resumes and cover letters.

Writing skills also apply at home. Perhaps you’re writing an important letter to your child’s teacher, or maybe you have to state your case when applying for a bank loan or attempting to purchase a home.

Becoming a better writer can help you in a myriad of ways — and make you sound smart and confident.

Improving Your Writing Structure

Sometimes I like to think of writing like making chili … weird, I know, but let me explain.

My dad is a self-proclaimed chili master. He always says that there’s a lot that goes into making a good chili: your choice of meat and how you prepare it, your choice of beans, your level of spiciness and what seasoning you choose, how long you cook it, and — finally — what you put on top. (Cheese and sour cream, anyone!?)

Weird story, Allie … what’s the point?

My point is that there’s a lot that goes into writing, too. And when you combine its components correctly (commas, gerunds, metaphors, etc.), your writing becomes a very powerful recipe.

Now, let’s talk about those individual writing “ingredients”. Below, I’ve provided a handful of tips for each component — some featuring a pretty list with bullet points.

Featured Resource:

The Marketer's Guide to Writing Well

Grammar Skills

You’ve heard people talk about grammar … probably something along the lines of: “Sorry, I am SUCH a grammar freak!” Or, the infamous you’re vs. your debate.

  The official definition of grammar is “ the study or use of the rules about how words change their form and combine with other words to express meaning.” I like to think about it as the way you use words and put them together.

Grammar encompasses a lot of rules and techniques. Here are a handful of my favorite grammar tip lists.

TechRepublic’s “10 Flagrant Grammar Mistakes That Make You Look Stupid”

FluentU’s “8 Important English Grammar Rules That Anyone in Business Should Understand”

Writing Forward’s “Ten Grammar Rules Every Writer Should Know”

Some writing skills are repeated in these lists, but that means they’re that much more important!

Spelling Skills

Remember when spelling was its own subject in school? As we grew up, it was phased out of our daily learning, but spelling is still a vital writing skill.

We all struggle with certain words (Feb-ru-ary, anyone?), but certain misspellings can completely change the meaning of a phrase or piece of writing — and mean massive confusion for co-workers or customers.

Below, I’ve aggregated some of the most common misuses and misspellings (as inspired by this list from the B2B Insights blog).

Continual vs. continuous

“Continual” means always occurring, whereas “continuously” means never-ending.

i.e. vs. e.g.

i.e. stands for “id est” meaning “”in other words,”” while “e.g.” stands for “exempli gratia” meaning ““for example””.

Elicit vs. illicit

“Elicit” means to evoke some sort of response, whereas “illicit” means “illegal.”

Alternately vs. alternatively

“Alternately” means to take turns –or alternate, whereas alternatively” presents one or more options.

Refute vs. rebut

Refute” is to disprove with evidence, whereas “rebut” is to disagree.

Farther vs. further

“Farther” refers to physical distance, whereas “further” refers to a greater degree of something.

Alright vs. all right

Alright is actually not a legitimate word … use “all right instead.”

Uninterested vs. disinterested

Uninterested” means to have no interest, whereas “disinterested” means to be removed or neutral to a situation.

Who's vs. whose

Who’s” is a contraction for ““who is,” whereas whose is used to show ownership of something. (The same goes for it’s vs. its.)

Than vs. then

Than is used when comparing two things, whereas then is used to express a sense of time, such as what comes next or what used to be.

Punctuation Skills

Punctuation refers to a whole host of symbols used in writing, but I’m going to review the few most popular in this section.

Periods (.), exclamation points (!), and question marks (?)

Periods should be your go-to way to end a sentence. Every sentence should end in a period (if you’re not using a question mark or exclamation point.

Exclamation points — which are used to express excitement, accentuate an important point, or get the reader’s attention — should be used sparingly! If you overuse them, they won’t be effective when you need them to be! These sentences are great examples of completely unnecessary exclamation points! Woot!

Question marks are appropriate for — you guessed it — questions. Using questions throughout your writing can help create a conversational, friendly tone (which we talk about in our language skills section below).

Commas (,), semicolons (;), and colons (:)

When I started at HubSpot, my editor told me that I was “comma happy.”

  I used commas a lot, so I understood why she was giving me that feedback. In my defense, commas are important in writing and apparently very financially valuable for businesses.

Commas pack a punch in your writing. They’re also easy to overuse and misuse. Because of that, it’s crucial to master the rules of the comma.

Next: semicolons. Where commas connect two phrases, semicolons connect two complete, related sentences. For example, the previous sentence could be re-written with a semicolon by saying: Commas connect two phrases; however, semicolons connect two complete, related sentences.

Always use “____; however, ____” when using a semicolon.

Colons are used to introduce a new point, just like in my sentence above, “Next: semicolons.”. They’re pretty easy to utilize in your writing.

Dashes (—) and hyphens (-)

Writers often confuse dashes and colons. Colons introduce something and are typically used near the end of a sentence, whereas hyphens are used to offset a phrase — not unlike commas — in the middle or end of a sentence.

Dashes just put a little more oomph on the phrase that’s set apart.

Hyphens are used to connect words to make them compound words. They’re used to connect two words that serve as an adjective for a noun (such as well-known, or caramel-covered) as well as clarify the meaning of a word (re-sign vs. resign). Hyphens also produce numbers (thirty-seven) and, with prefixes, set apart one word from another (boyfriend vs. ex-boyfriend).

Language Skills

Language refers to using certain words and writing techniques to create a great piece of writing. Consider language skills to be the proverbial “bow” on top of your grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

Here are some of my favorites.

Employ transition words to help your reader glide from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph.

Use colorful and creative metaphors to help get difficult, complicated, or uncomfortable points across.

Don’t be afraid to incorporate a personal anecdote or two … like my comma story above. This helps connect to your reader and present something more interesting than a simple how-to or definition.

Look up colorful, flavorful synonyms to basic words. Painful = excruciating. Fast = rapid. Scary = chilling. Noisy = deafening. These words are more fun to read and present a more visceral, interesting piece of writing.

Pepper in questions in your writing to become more conversational. Try not to overdo it, though, or your reader might feel like he or she is being interrogated.

Study your audience to know which words to use (and not use) to have the greatest impact. Put yourself in your reader’s shoes.

Read your writing out loud to test for rhythm and awkward phrasing.

Developing Your Written Content

Different types of writing require different skills. What makes for a great business memo might not be needed when writing a blog or email. Note: The writing skills we discussed above are universal and apply to each of these types of content.

Writing a Letter

There are a lot of types of letters out there: formal letters, cover letters, letters of recommendation, letters to Grandma … but the letter format you choose should always depend on your audience. If you know your recipient, a casual letter is appropriate. If you don’t know your recipient or are writing a business letter, a formal letter is best.

Featured Resource:

5 Professional Cover Letter Templates

You should always address formal letters in a specific way, unlike informal letters to friends or family. When starting your letter, the greeting should align with your familiarity with the recipient. Informal letters can start with “Hello” or another common greeting. Formal letters should begin with “Dear _______” if you know the recipient’s name or “To whom it may concern” if you don’t. All greetings should be followed with a comma.

The body of your letter should be concise and accurate, whether informal or formal. Avoid contractions, slang, and inappropriate language in formal letters.

Always include a complimentary closing at the end of your letter. Informal letters can be closed with “With love,” “Sincerely,” or any other customary closing. Formal letters should be signed off with “Sincerely” (typically the safest bet), “Cordially,” or “Warmly.” All closings should be followed with a comma as well.

Writing a Business Memo

A business memo (short for “memorandum,” or reminder) is a type of internal business communication sent to a large team or entire organization. Business memos typically follow a simple template to ensure consistency.

When writing a business memo, you should always prioritize accuracy and brevity. Consider your audience when choosing what words and language to use. Double-check for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors that could confuse or distract the reader. Be sure your memo is concise and to the point so that recipients clearly understand its purpose. Lastly, don’t forget to attach any necessary data and documents.

Writing an Email

Like letters, emails come in all shapes and sizes. There are marketing emails, sales emails, emails to pitch media relations, and emails that communicate with international teams.

Regardless of what kind of email you’re writing, here are a few tips that can help you write a great one:

Write an outstanding subject line … literally. Make it stand out so people open your email.

Keep your email focused. Consider dropping any extraneous greetings or unnecessary information. Break up your message so it’s not just one long block of text.

Watch out for robotic writing. Read your message out loud to help combat this.

Avoid hedging language, which can make you sound less confident and weaken your writing.

Featured Resources:

25 Proven Sales Email Templates

The Beginner's Guide to Email Marketing

How to Create Email Newsletters That Don't Suck

Writing a Blog Post

At HubSpot, we love writing blog posts. They’re fun, straightforward, and often informal ways to connect with our customers and readers.

Everyone should know how to write a blog post. While maintaining a blog takes some extra work, writing up the blog posts isn’t hard at all. In fact, we’ve made it easier — simply download our five free blog post templates and dive right in.

In the meantime, here’s our super-simple blog writing formula:

Identify your blog post topic

Brainstorm a working title

Draft a captivating intro

Outline your content

Write the blog post

Edit, proofread and format the post

Add a CTA and optimize for SEO

Finalize your title, and publish!

Learn more about this process in our step-by-step guide on writing a blog post. Want to learn how to write other types of content? Check out our guides on writing video scripts, compelling copy, business proposals, and press releases.

Featured Resources:

How to Start a Successful Blog

5 Free Blog Post Templates

Nurturing Your Writing Habits

Writing skills are both technical and habitual. You could become a grammar guru, punctuation pro, or master of business memos … but if you never actually sat down to write, it wouldn’t matter. While the technical skills make you a better writer, building up your habitual skills actually makes you write.

Here are some writing skills and habits to build for both professional and personal purposes. Every writer (me included!) implements at least a few of these habits in order to improve their writing.

Book time on your calendar to write

Set a meeting with yourself that you can’t break, and let your co-workers and friends know that you’re unavailable for that block of time.

Assign yourself a task for each weekday

For example, I try to outline my pieces on Mondays, write on Tuesdays, submit my first draft by end-of-day Wednesday, make edits on Thursday, and submit by final draft by Friday. You could also set a word count goal for each day, such as 500 or 1,000 words. This can help break up your piece into digestible bits so it doesn't’ seem overwhelming. Each day, you can say to yourself: “I only have to get X done today.”

Go somewhere that doesn’t have Wi-Fi

Maybe you need a change of scenery. This removes the temptation to respond to emails, check social media, and generally procrastinate. Save these trips for days on which you don’t have to do research.

Give yourself time away from your writing

This is especially important if you have to do a final sweep-through or round of edits. After spending hours and hours on a piece, it can be hard to see minor errors or gaps in the writing. Sometimes stepping away and coming back can give you a fresh set of eyes.

Read. Read. Read.

Read the writers and writing styles that you admire and aspire to be/recreate. Subscribe to your favorite blogs. Bookmark those websites and publications that you love reading. Download any e-books or digital guides that catch your eye. Buy your favorite books — which supports your favorite authors, too! You’ve heard the saying, “You’re a byproduct of your environment,” right? The same goes for your writing.

If you’re interested in writing — whether professionally or personally — and not sure how to get started, becoming a writer is actually a pretty straightforward process.

Using Writing Resources to Become a Better Writer

Even the best writers are continuously learning. Below, we’ve collected a handful of writing resources for you to bookmark and use as you improve your writing skills.

Courses

HubSpot Academy, notably our Business Writing Course: Master High-Impact Writing With Bestselling Author Daniel Pink.

MasterClass, which offers access to online courses taught by the “world’s greatest minds”. Their writing courses feature teachers like James Patterson, Judy Blume, Malcolm Gladwell, Shonda Rhimes, Aaron Sorkin, and Margaret Atwood.

Tools

Grammarly, a free digital copyeditor. Available as a web or desktop app and for a fee, you can access many premium features.

Hemingway Editor, a free digital copyeditor for more editorial, creative writing. Also available as a web or desktop app.

Definr, a super quick digital dictionary.

Jargon Grader, a simple tool to check your writing for jargon and fluff.

Tone Analyzer, a pretty cool tool that assesses the different tones (anger, confidence, tentativeness, etc.) in your writing.

Blogs and Guides

Grammar Girl, both a blog and podcast that provide quick tips to improve your writing.

Purdue University Online Writing Lab (OWL), a very trustworthy site for any questions about writing or grammar.

Over to You

Building and improving your writing skills is a continuous process. From technical skills for grammar, punctuation, and spelling to skills that help you hone a disciplined writing process, there are many tips and techniques to master and remember.

Whether you’re learning how to write better emails to your team at work or are chipping away at that dream of writing a book, we’re here to help. Bookmark this guide for future reference, and start writing!

[stevensavage]

My Personal Agile: Work Breakdown

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve's Tumblr)

And back again with my attempt to describe my "Personal Agile" productivity methods.

One of the challenges of getting things done is to figure out how to get it done. What do you have to do? What order? How do things work together?

To figure this out part of most any Agile practice is breaking down work to find out what to do, how to do it - and maybe if it even needs to be done (by finding the value as mentioned earlier).

So here's how I break down work - this is the last stop before we get on to the real hands-on work.

Please note, these are my own definitions, tweaked for personal productivity. They may not fit various other Agile methods or ideas.

Projects

At the top of this all are Projects.  Projects are major, often large, initiatives. These are usally the big things you want to do like cleaning the garage, launching a new website, or writing a book. It may even be a thing you do regularly like cooking twice a week.

How do you define a Project? Here's a quick guide to what a Project is in my book:

Distinct. Projects stand on their own and have their own identity that is (mostly) not dependent on anything else.

Has one of two lifespans:

Usually large. Most Projects will be of some size. However I argue that the Distinction and the Lifespan together define a Project more than size. And since this is my method, I' sticking with it.

It is distinct and will complete and be done, such as finishing a book or a program. Note that something like a software program may then spawn new projects like "maintenance."

It is a distinct effort that is continuing, like a software maintenance program or an exercise routine. I call these Regular or BAU (Business As Usual) Projects. The effort is distinct enough that you could decide to end this Project in the future as a discreet act

Project Value: How do you determine if a Project is worth doing - in short, it's value? There's formal methods used in business, but on Personal Agile I find that there's two ways to express - and measure - it's value.

The binary. "I want X so y." It could be as simple as taking a vacation so you relax or getting a certification as it's standard career progression.  This is a lot like a User Story (below) just jacked up a level.

The measure. This is when you can tie the value to a measure and thus by measuring, determine if something was done and worth it. If you got a certification to try and get a raise then you can measure if that goal was reached - and it can fail as you may get the certification but not the raise. If you want to make X amount of profit with a book in a year, you can evaluate it - after a year.

Because Project success can be defined in many ways, I always look for "congruence," that gut-level feel that the Project and any measures connect to my life goals. If that gut-level feel isn't there, you might be wasting your time - or doing this under duress.

By the way if neither work, you can try describing it like a Story.  In fact, those are next.

Stories

Projects consist of Stories. Stories are where we get down to real work and hands-on value. Stories are also where a lot of work and breakdown and arguing goes on. So get ready for some opinionated stuff that might get me into a fight with other Agile practitioners.

A Story is the smallest unit of work you can do in a Project that still delivers value and helps complete the Project. It may be of limited value. It may be to a limited audience. It may not be that helpful without other Stories. But it has value that wouldn't exist if you took it apart any further.

Ideally a Story should, when completed, be valuable if all other work stopped. It might not be much, but it's something. Note this is an ideal but it doesn't always happen.

The best way to get to breaking down Stories is to try it.  So let's try . .  .

EXERCISE: Look at a Project you want to do.  Now write down everything you'd need to do for it to get done.  Don't get over-detailed, just give yourself about five minutes.  We'll talk how to make good Stories in a moment, but I want you thinking breakdown.

Interesting isn't it?  Determining stories is definitely an art.  I also bet that the Story breakdown you have just brainstorming isn't quite clear or satisfying.

So if you're thinking "These Stories seem both really defined and kind of fuzzy" you're right. Agile is both knowing what to do but not overdoing and overanalyzing. Fortunately there's a tool to clear them up - and it's a core part of Agile and one of it's big contributions to management thought period.

Story Value Stories in Agile are sometimes called User Stories (the terms get thrown around interchangeably). This is because they are, bluntly, focused on delivering something (value) to someone (a user) - and that forms a Story. The formula is a key to quickly determining what a Story is and what it delivers is to title the Story thus:

As (person) I want (thing) because (reason)

Sound simple, right? But this tells you three things - why you're doing something for whom. If you can't figure out any of these three parts, you either need to break it down more, do research - or realize it has no value.

When you define your Stories this way, you get:

The Person- Tells you who you do it for, who to ask for questions, and who approves of the result. Vital for good feedback, communications. Though in Personal Agile this is probably you a lot.

The Thing - Tells you what to do. The better defined it is the better idea you have what to do but don't overdo it.

The Reason - Tells you why. Why is a great guidance for evaluating what you do, determining if you're delivering, and motivating you. Reason is also one of the major places where you discover "hey, this is kinda worthless."

If you've ever done something and wondered "why am I doing this?" imagine how knowing these three things would have helped.

As you can see, the Story method is pretty powerful. Sure you might need more details, you may have to find them, but this is a great way to know enough to get doing things. It also helps prevent over-designing things.

By the way, if you need more details, let me refer you to the classic Kipling poem's opening line:

"I KEEP six honest serving-men  (They taught me all I knew);  Their names are What and Why and When  And How and Where and Who."

You got Who, What, Why. If you need more details see if any of their friends should go in: When, How, and Where.

By the way, when in doubt, yu can use this formula everywhere. To evaluate an action, to quantify a Project. So be it the biggest Project or the simplest task, when confused, ask "why an I doing this thing and for who?"

A few notes:

In Personal Agile you may not need to do formally described stories, but it does help. When in doubt, use them - they're wonderfully clarifying, even if later you go back to more simple terms. If you're new to this, definitely use them.

Some Projects are so big that they have "big stories" or "bundles" of stories called Features, Epics, Legends, etc. These let you organize stories into groups.  I don't use them in my Personal Agile.

Tasks

Tasks are the final part of good Agile planning and breaking down work. This is when you figure out what you do hands on.

Remember how you broke down Projects into Stories, the smallest bits of value?  Tasks are when you break down a Story to figure what you have to do to get that value.  Every Story has at least one Task, and each Task contributes to completion of that Story.

Figuring out Tasks is also a bit of an art, but is usually more hard-nosed than, say, Stories. You can pretty much look at a Story and figure out what has to be done.  Remember you may find more Tasks are needed, but you can usually get a good start.

There's no real way to describe Tasks, but I'd describe them as clearly as possible for the sake of clarity.  The value of them is also pretty apparent as they're directed to a goal.

EXERCISE: Look at one Story for the above exercise.  Describe the Tasks necessary to do it, and try to make them of reasonable size.

Interesting exercise isn't it?  You can define Tasks but how do you get your hands around how much work they take?  That's what's next.

Tasks and size Tasks are also where sizing takes place. Sure, sometimes people size Stories and even Projects in various ways (I don't always in my Personal Agile so I won't cover it). However, no matter what, how you size a task affects real work - so we need to discuss that.

There is a lot of discussion in Agile about how to do this. In turn thereare a lot of great ideas. In turn, a lot of people actually ignore these half the time. The other half they argue.

Me, I use hours of work. If I were planning a larger Project with more people I might use other methods, but in this case I have a pretty good grip on how fast I work.  This also lets me figure out how long I can spend on things and may let me track odd things that just require a block of time (if, say, I want to spend X hours studying)

However I do have an additional rule I call Fibonacci Hours.

I size tasks in how long I think they'll take. But I have a few rules:

Tasks should be sized so in theory I can do them all in one go - even if it may take setting some time aside (usually 5 hours or less).

Tasks are sized in hours - minimum one hour.

Tasks hour-sizing must fall in the Fibonacci sequence - 1,2,3,5,8,13, etc. Basically each number is the sum of the ones before it. If something is "between" the two I have to make the call if it's more likely the lesser or the greater.

In using these Fibonacci hours I've been amazed how accurate they are - usually more accurate than my attempts to figure the "exact" time. This is because in our ability to estimate, we're not always good making fine distinctions, especially with larger numbers. This just enforces a pattern that, as a story gets larger, you have to think in a wider range between sizes.

By the way, I try to break things down to never be more than 3 hours, 5 at the most, unless it's for something odd (like setting aside time to write).

By the way if you use Agile, you've seen this used for "points" and other methods of work. I just found they worked for hours.

A Few Tips On Tasks

In an ideal situation each Story would have only one task because you were able to break down value so specifically.  This can happen a lot in Personal Agile, but not as much on larger Projects.  It's something to aim for, but remember it may not be achievable for certain efforts.

It's best to describe tasks well, but in Personal Agile usually you're the one doing them so don't waste time.  Just make sure you can remember what you described.

A few times above I noted sometimes a task is just spend-so-much-hours on something.  Don't be afraid to do that - in Personal Agile it really helps.

Onward To Action

OK you know to think about value. You have an idea of how to break down work. Now we're gonna get started.

By the way, even if you never use any of my other Personal Agile methods, thinking about work like this will help you.

- Steve

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

[teesturtle]

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