#snowballing into me learning how to be comfortable in solitude but oh no now I’m yearning
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eternal-reverie · 1 year ago
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ok im actually feeling a bit crazy I need to interact with ppl beyond my immediate family and workplace
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tagsecretsanta · 4 years ago
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From @Thundergeek59
to @little-old-rachel
Secret Santa does not own this work, full credit to the author mentioned above!
AN: This is only my second fic and I thought it was only going to be a couple of paragraphs, however, Jeff decided to take this over totally and ran away with it. I now know what you writers mean when you say your characters take over!  I hope you like it, I had fun writing it
Rating: Gen/Family fun
Wordcount: 2900 ish
Jeff sat up and swing his legs over the side of the bed, toeing on his slippers.  It was still dark as he reached for his cane and shrugged his dressing gown round his shoulders. “May as well get up as toss and turn in bed”.  Stuffing his communicator cuff in his pocket, he padded out his door and headed to the kitchen.  
Grabbing a small bottle of juice and a couple of biscuits he headed out towards the pool deck and sat on one of the loungers.  Idly munching the biscuit he gazed at the pool, lit up by the underwater lights, and his mind wandering back to Gordon’s pre-Olympic training when he used to time him with his stopwatch, then chuckling as he remembered having to dive-bomb his little fishie in a vain effort to get him out of the pool, several hours later. 
“Oh Lucy, our little fish is all grown and you’d be so proud of him – of all of them”
With a sigh, he pulled himself up on his cane and continued walking down the path to the beach where Virgil had thoughtfully built a bench for him so he didn’t have to sit on the sand, which only thinly covered the sharp volcanic rock.  From here he could look out to the bird colony on Mateo.  He remembered his first few weeks back home,  when easily overwhelmed by boys and noise, he had sought the solitude by the beach.  Just listening to the waves ebb and flow calmed his mind.  
He looked to the red glint just gracing the edges of the horizon and realised Gordon would be up soon to power though his pool routine while Scott would be just behind, setting off round the island on his daily run.  Eight years and some things never changed while others were irredeemably different.
It was Virgil who caught him by surprise with a hand gently placed on his shoulder. “Hey dad, we’re going to get the tree now, do you want to come along?”  “Thanks for the offer but I think I better stay and help your Grandma with dinner preparations.” He declined. “You sure?  We’d love you to join us and anyway, Max is there to help in the kitchen and Ridley and Kayo will be available to fix any potential culinary catastrophes”.
“I’d only be a hindrance with this”  he replied, waving his stick.  “Actually dad, I have an idea I think you might like”.  Intrigued, Jeff let himself be persuaded, hoping he wouldn’t regret it.
As soon as Virgil had set down Two at the edge of the forest, Scott and John set about configuring a suitable pod.  With Gordon awaiting the arrival of Lady Penelope and Alan still in bed, the party consisted of Jeff and his three eldest and he was looking forward to just doing something social with his boys, a nice change from being ferried to hospital appointments.  He was, however, starting to wonder what form Virgil’s surprise idea would take when he heard a soft cough behind him, announcing said son’s arrival.
The sight that greeted him as he turned around was not what he was expecting.  In front of Virgil was a fully functioning hoversleigh, complete with T2’s green livery with the addition of red flames down the side, a red padded seat with a matching throw.  Words failed him, causing a worried frown to appear between Virgil’s brows, until a deep chuckle rose from Jeff, and a smile twitched at the corner of Virgil’s mouth, pleased that his dad had felt comfortable enough to let his lighter side out.  “Certainly is different” laughed Jeff as Virgil helped him into the sleigh.
Scott and John’s faces were a picture as the hatch descended with Virgil and their father.   “Oh my word, you really did it!” John exclaimed as both brothers tried to stifle their guffaws when they saw their father with a green bobble hat and gloves, looking like one of Santa’s helpers sitting in the sleigh.
“Well, I’d been tinkering with the old hover bikes back at the ranch and decided to see how far I could take the modifications and, well, here she is...”
“Well, let’s see what this baby can do” said Jeff as he pushed the controller forward and... nothing.  A quizzical look at Virgil “Safety feature.  You gotta push the red button first but be careful, I haven’t fully tested.....” He couldn’t finish the sentence due to the cloud of snow covering him. 
“WooHooooo” Jeff whooped as he surged forward down the track, leaving them all brushing snow off themselves.
“You do remember that he likes to go very, very fast” Scott said
“Yep, better jump in the pod and catch him before he heads out of sight” added John. ‘C’mon Virg, hop on”.
Scott steered the pod at speed, following the trail of snow kicked up by the sleigh. After several hair-raising twists and turns Jeff had managed to turn the sleigh into a clearing and was doing doughnut spins, thoroughly enjoying himself.  Finally he came screeching to a halt mere inches from his sons, who were once more coated with a dusting of snow.  “Gee Virgil, that’s gotta be the best fun I’ve had in years!  Reminds me of that time Lee and I tested out the moon rover on Alfie.”
“I’m pleased you had fun, but I hadn’t got around to telling giving you the low-down on all it’s features”.  
“Well, as an Airforce pilot you kinda just learn on the job, part of the fun really, isn’t that right Scott”.   “Sure dad, but you just about gave me a heart attack back there.”  “Ah sorry, Scotty, but you gotta admit, if it had been you trying her out, you’d have done the exact same thing”.  “I guess so” Scott conceded.
While Jeff and Scott had been talking, John had been surveying area, seeking out the perfect tree.  “That one, over there, what do you think Vigil”.  “Looks good to me, lemme bring the pod into position” Virgil replied as he hopped up onto the pod and drove it over to the tree, Scott and Jeff following in it’s wake.  
“Ok guys let’s do this.  John, you take that side.  Virgil, get into position with the saw and dad and I will be over here to tell you when to stop cutting and get the pod grapples ready”  Pure IR commander front and centre. “Yes, and I’ll be shouting encouragement from the sidelines” chuckled Jeff.  He’d had time to see his boys work together over the past few months and marvelled at how seamlessly they all fitted together, deferring to each other’s greater expertise.  He’d learnt from bitter experience that his opinions on the best way for them to do something, more often than not screwed with their well oil system and got them second-guessing themselves, which was not what was needed in the field.
 He was fortunate, so fortunate that his boys had developed the way they had, working in the way they did and in the process, turning IR into something more than what he had originally envisaged.  He’d been away from it all for too long to be able to step back in and run it the way he had and he was coming to terms with that, despite how much his pride and sense of usefulness had been hurt.
“You’d have loved this Lucy – just look at our boys working so well together, just like they did when they were little”. 
“You ok dad?” John was first to notice the faraway look in his fathers’ eyes.  “Yes, I’m fine, just  telling your mother about you all”.  John gave Scott a look, who in turn quirked an eyebrow at Virgil. Virgil imperceptibly shook is head.  Jeff, watching the exchange and remembering how they had been doing this since they were children – saying so much without uttering a word.  “I know those looks, and no, I’m not crazy, you gotta remember that for 8 years I only had your mother to talk to, so it’s got to be a bit of a habit.”  
The boys looked anywhere but at their father, feeling caught out with muffled apologies.  “C’mon lets get this tree strapped onto the pod and back home” Virgil successfully diverted the conversation to the matter in hand.
It didn’t take too long to get back to Thunderbird 2, Jeff taking a slightly more sedate pace on the return journey.  What the boys didn’t know was that the reason for the slower pace would make itself apparent as soon as they exited the pod.
Whooooosh...... splat!  A perfect hit and a whoop of joy from the elf in the sleigh.  Scott looked down at the remains of the snowball that was gracing his uniform.  “You did not just snowball me, did you? Scott scooped up a handful himself “You know what that means.....”   “You wouldn’t hit an old man in a sleigh?” Words were barely out of his mouth when Whumph... direct shot to the sleigh, there followed a rapid volley from the sleigh to the other two sons. Virgil and John only had time to cast a quick glance at each other when they realised what was going on before  Boooooffffff..... fluuuuufffff.......Thwaaaak!  
In the meantime, Scott was building a small cache of snowballs, ever prepared, ready to dive into the fray.  He decided that his chances were better if he and Jeff teamed up against Virgil and John.  Whilst  Jeff could quickly manoeuvre the sleigh out of some of the shots, not all could be avoided.  Virgil had the strength and John had the trajectory calculations going on in his head, weighing up the best type of snowball for the distances involved – enough to make a good splatter but not hard enough to cause damage to sleigh or person. The were quite a formidable team against age and experience.
“Okay, okay, I concede defeat” Jeff laughed as one final snowball splattered against his gloved hands raised in mock surrender.  It had been a long time since he’d seen them rosy cheeked in the cold air, just enjoying themselves, “Well, I think it’s definitely time to head back to the Island” John shivered as they loaded pod, Christmas tree and sleigh onto Two’s elevator.   “But we need to make a quick stop off en-route” added Virgil.  “What could we possibly need on Christmas eve that we haven’t already got” Jeff queried.  “Wait and see” was his reply.
Thunderbird Two took off as soon as everyone was strapped in.  Virgil and Scott in the pilot and co-pilot seats with Jeff and John behind in the passenger seats.  Jeff regarded his middle son who was staring out of the window “Penny for your thoughts” he said.  “Hmm? Oh it’s nothing, just daydreaming really”.  “Uh huh, and would that daydream have anything to do with a lovely young astronaut that’s waiting for you back home?” asked Jeff. 
 John could feel the heat creeping up to his cheeks  “Maybe, just idly looking forward to having a few days downtime together.  Our schedules rarely coincide, so it’ll be nice to spend a few days dirtside with her”.  “You thinking of bringing her into the family business?” Jeff asked.   John had not seen that one coming and, clearly agitated, tried to steer the conversation away. Truth be told, he had thought about it but that would imply a whole load of commitment he wasn’t sure either of them could give right now.  
“Not really thought about it to be honest” was all he offered.  “You sure could do with some additional help up there on Five and she is a fully trained astronaut ....and... well, I like her”  You could have knocked John down with a feather.  What the heck had happened to his father and who was this amiable alien who had taken over his body!
Vigil raised and eyebrow at Scott while all this conversation was going on, realising it was touching on a subject neither of them had even dared ask John about.  Scott quirked an eyebrow back, a small smile dancing at the corner of his mouth.  He’d love to stay and listen in but felt it was getting into personal territory that neither of them had a right to enter without invitation.
“Just stopping off here for a few minutes guys.  Scott, wanna come with?” Virgil asked, the please remained unsaid but was clear from his expression.  “Sure, we’ll be back in no time, no need to get up you two.” Scott replied as they both exited the cockpit.
“Ok, I know, it’s not my place to interfere” Jeff continued “but take it from someone who’s been there, when you find someone you just feel totally comfortable with, you don’t just let it slip away.  I’ve seen you two together John, the way you interact, believe me, I’ve never seen you look so comfortable with anybody outside this family, with the exception perhaps of  Penny.” 
Clearly blindsided, John being John, wanted a bit more clarification “Dad, when you said family business, you didn’t just mean International Rescue, did you?”  “Well son, that would be up to you” Jeff left the ball in John’s court. 
 “This thing we have, it’s quite new and we’re having to work round rotas, so we haven’t actually had a great deal of time together. Certainly not enough to make as big a decision as I think you’re suggesting”.    “Son, sometimes you just gotta trust your gut and leave your head and logic to one side. That’s all I’m saying”. 
Their conversation was interrupted by Scott and Virgil entering the cockpit with several boxes carrying the logo of a well known Swiss chocolatier and four steaming takeaway cups.  “Thought we could all use some hot chocolate” Virgil passed out the cups to welcoming hands. “Just what we needed. Got anything in these boxes to go with the cocoa?” Jeff asked. “Sadly, these are for home. I promised Kayo we’d pick up some goodies for everyone to enjoy with our Christmas mimosas and I’d hate to be the one to tell her they didn’t make it home.” Replied Virgil.  “Well it’s a good job I popped into the patisserie down the road while you were busy getting the drinks and got these”  Scott beamed, clearly collecting extra brownie points as he carefully opened the smaller box, revealing the most wonderful choux pastry creations liberally topped with dark and white chocolate ganache, lightly dusted with edible glitter and gold leaf.  “Wondered where you’d wandered off to” mumbled Virgil mid-chew, trying not to spray glitter everywhere.  “You’re not the only one who knows the little out of the way places” 
“Neither of you would know about either of those places if Eos and I hadn’t scoped them out first” John huffed.  He was pleased the conversation had moved on from the rather uncomfortable personal probing of earlier and was quite happy to keep it that way.
 “Call it teamwork” Virgil added as he slipped into the pilot’s chair.  “Well, from what I see, teamwork is certainly something you boys excel at and I couldn’t be prouder” Jeff added as he raised his hot chocolate in salute to his eldest three.
Waiting to meet them in the hangar were the two youngest, Alan bouncing on the balls of his feet, Gordon trying unsuccessfully to hide his delight at the size of the tree that was appearing from Two.  What they hadn’t expected to see was hidden behind the tree. “Oh my God!” Gordon exclaimed as he caught a glimpse of green and red.  He and Alan ran over to check out what had caught his eye and of course, check out the tree.  
Wow, it’s a beaut” enthused Gordon, gently stroking the machine.  “I thought you were all talk when you were going on about fixing up one of the old hover bikes”.  Virgil just shrugged, enjoying the youngster’s reaction to his handiwork. “You even painted on the flames!” Alan shrieked in delight.
“Well, hello to you too” said Jeff, slightly miffed but totally understanding of their enthusiasm for the new piece of kit rather than welcoming him back.
“Oh, hi dad” Alan finally waved, not taking his eyes off the machine. “You know, I was the one your brother allowed to test drive that thing” Jeff added.  That got their attention.  “Aw Virgil, I thought I was your favourite brother” whined Gordon “You know it’s always been me” replied Alan as they both turned towards there father, their interest piqued.  Virgil just rolled his eyes.  “So, how was she? Was she fast? Did you fall out? Did you test it to it’s limits?” so many questions tumbled from Alan who was now more interested in what his father had to say. “Walk me to the elevator and I’ll tell you all about it” said Jeff putting an arm around Alan’s shoulder.  “C’mon Gordon” Alan gestured for his brother to join him.  Gordon ran over, slipping quietly under Jeff’s other arm.  Jeff positively beamed as he finally had their full attention and a new tale to enthral them.  
The three older brothers looked at each other and smiled.  It’d been a long time since they’d seen their dad so relaxed and happy. 
Definitely the best day he’d had since returning from the Oort cloud and perhaps a new Christmas precedent had been set with the hoversleigh for future tree collecting.
End
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lunasdonnelly · 5 years ago
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Sweetest Devotion
Pairings: James Potter x Lily Evans | Sirius Black x Remus Lupin
Fandom: Harry Potter [J.K. Rowling]
Chapter: (5) / 22
Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4)
Word Count: 6,736
Chapter Title: Back to Hogwarts
Chapter Summary: The gang returns to Hogwarts
“If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to strangle her at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” – Linda Sunshine
For one of the first times in her life, Lily Evans had willingly and happily gotten right out of bed at six thirty in the morning—no dilly-dallying or a grumbled “five more minutes.” But today, with the prospect of leaving the stifling confines of her childhood home for the magical sanctuary of Hogwarts, Lily was practically bouncing off the walls as she threw the remains of her clothing in her trunk. Now that summer was over, Lily was finally willing to admit that she had had enough of her sister to last her a while—especially considering the last two weeks. Petunia had gone from silent animosity and skillful ignoring to outright hostility and screaming matches ever night since their family outing. Her mother had told her numerous times that Tuney was just ‘going through it,’ but she wasn’t ‘going through it’ with anyone else—only Lily.
It’d been three whole days since Lily had uttered a word towards her sister. When Lily had returned home from her father’s mechanic shop a few days ago, Petunia had been waiting—waiting with a slew of insults that cut through Lily’s skin like a knife, straight to the bone. Everything out of the ordinary that occurred in Petunia’s life was seemingly always Lily’s fault, no matter if she’s there or not—no matter that Lily can’t even use magic outside of Hogwarts, something she’s told her sister no less than a hundred times. In this instance, a small harmless bunny had hopped into the house through the cat door and apparently sacred Petunia half to death. Obviously it wasn’t Lily’s fault, but Petunia wouldn’t stop her screaming long enough to listen to her side of it.
Sometimes Lily likes to remember the good times that they used to have—all the days spent in the park or the games played in their living room. They used to be so close when they were in primary school, but then one sunny morning Lily had received her Hogwarts letter and Professor McGonagall had appeared on her doorstep. For the two weeks after McGonagall had taken the whole family to Diagon Alley, introducing them properly to the Wizarding World, and before Lily left for Hogwarts, Petunia had been just like her old self—if not a little more adamant that they were really “just the same type of person.” But then Lily and her newfound friend, Severus, had unearthed Petunia’s letter to Dumbledore and everything had changed—eventually snowballing and moving out of Lily’s control before she even properly understood what was happening.
At first, Lily knew that Petunia was just jealous—upset that she too couldn’t go to the fancy magical boarding school and instead was relegated to the public secondary school. Now, years of going to school in different countries—which allowed for all that resentment to fester—had forced them apart. Petunia had grown out of that petty jealously in recent years and she now harbored an actual dislike for Lily that reared its ugly head whenever Petunia was upset about something. They were family, though, and all this didn’t mean that Lily cared for her sister any less. Petunia was just… misguided. They would have time to grow out of all this when they were adults—to learn from their differences and return to the loving camaraderie they’d had as children.
Today, though, Lily was ready for some solitude.
She grabbed the bath towel hanging over the back of her desk chair and made her way down the hall to claim the shower before Petunia could get there first and begin her long morning routine. The solitude from the Muggle world wasn’t without its draw backs though. Lily missed her parents immensely when she was away and the four months out of the year where she did see them made all that much harder to be away. Usually she would just be getting used to life without magic—comfortable with its absence—when she would once again be boarding the Hogwarts Express.
Lily and her parents wrote letters to each other regularly, but words on paper weren’t the same as her dad ruffling her hair or her mother singing along to her own music. Rose and Edward Evans were the best parents that Lily could ask for and she loved both of them dearly. They always made sure that Lily knew she was loved and missed while she was away, and they’ve stuck to the same traditions so at least one aspect of Lily’s life had some normalcy in it. Like today, on the last morning before she returned to Hogwarts, her mother would make her a full breakfast with all her favorites and her father would read her the news out of the paper. Then they’d drive her to the station, watch her run through the magical barrier, and ensure she was safely on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters before taking their leave.
Lily sighed and tried to focus on finishing her shower before she ran out of hot water. She washed her hair twice—having neglected it in the past week—and made sure to get all the tricky spots when shaving her legs so despite her best efforts, the water was still chilly when she finally shut it off and threw open the curtain. Lily toweled off and dressed quickly, but decided to allow her hair to air-dry so her natural curl—or rather, the natural wave with two ringlets tops—could run wild. She was still patting down her hair with the towel when she ambled into the kitchen, drawn by the smell bacon. At the stove, her mum was faced away from her, humming along to the music emitting softly from the radio.
Rose Evans was a small woman, with dark hair that was shot through with strands of gray. Her face was heart-shaped, and her pale blue eyes were a stark contrast to her hair and they were always the first thing someone noticed about her. She had been more than a beautiful woman in her youth, but years of stress have added a few wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Lily believed, though, that Rose was the epitome of the phrase “to age gracefully”, and she was of the firm opinion that her mother was the most beautiful person to exist. Today, she wore a faded blue floral dress that was fraying a little on the hem and her customary red ruffled apron was tied around her waist.
“Morning, Mum,” Lily greeted, kissing her on the cheek and taking a seat at the kitchen table.
“Good morning, dearie.” Rose smiled. “How did you sleep?”
“That depends,” Lily responded with a smirk at her mother’s back as she flipped the pancakes on the stove.
“On what?” Rose asked, turning to look at her.
“On whether you’d like the ‘I couldn’t sleep because I’ll miss you so much’ version, or the ‘I couldn’t sleep because I’m so excited about going back to school’ version.” Lily giggled as she snagged a piece of bacon off the serving plate placed in front of her.
Her mother flicked some pancake batter at Lily that fell short and landed on the dining table. Rose sighed before retorting and Lily wiped up the spot before her father saw it and it make him weird.
“Don’t be cheeky with me, young lady,” she scolded half-heartedly. “The sun has barely risen. And I could just turn this food off and send you away hungry.”
Lily rolled her eyes, but her mother didn’t see.
“I’m going to miss you, baby,” her mum said.
“I won’t miss you, Mum,” Lily sighed dramatically. “I might just miss your cooking, though—ooo, and maybe your singing… your baking… your smile…your really tight hugs…”
“Oh, hush up,” Rose said, shaking her head. “Grab the juice and the glasses. Breakfast is almost ready.”
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themockingcrows · 7 years ago
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Two Fates, Two Kingdoms Ch. 11: Safety In The Unknown
AO3 mirror: [X] This chapter is SFW.
Though the winter rips and tears at castle Prospit, life continues to move within it. The down side, however, is that the hostilities brewing towards Dave from the other members of staff over his special treatment now have less filters in their way and even fewer witnesses. Luckily, he is not alone. Aside from John, his siblings, and the curt librarian, the seamstress Kanaya continues to be a shining beacon of friendship and comfort. He might not know what a moirail is, but he certainly enjoys having one.
    Castle Prospit remained locked in the grasp of swirling snow, and Dave remained locked in with John, much more at ease with his lover than anywhere else in that slow crawl of a castle. True, he could occasionally get the heir to leave the room, go to meals with his siblings or brave the icy air to step out into the garden space and admire just how much the world had changed. ..Till Dave inevitably wanted to throw a few snowballs and John would quickly retreat like a grouchy cat. It was worth it for the brief moments of fun, but not worth it to wind up alone again in his play till he inevitably followed John back upstairs.
    They had begun to work through the books Karkat gave them together, but it was slow going. Those things took focus that neither of them had when they were in the middle of trying to avoid hibernating like bears, or otherwise distracted by each other, caught up in the privacy the chill afforded them and how appealing sex was in lieu of that. Well. That, and just how much body heat could be generated under the blankets as well. Must faster torn through were the other books that could be read in their own time, John devouring tales of history and adventures and legends, and Dave continuing to eagerly advance through learning to read Prospitian, as well as learning to write the flowery, flowing script with a more accurate hand.
    Mostly. Most of the letters still looked the same, but if Dave adapted them into something a bit more akin to Skaian script, or even better the messy lovechild between Prospitian and Dersian, it was much clearer and less prone to spilled ink and frustrated scribbling. Practice papers were carefully stored with John's belongings, not just to keep them hidden and keep Dave safe, but to preserve the sheer amount of dicks he drew when focused on something or agitated and lost in something he was trying to work on.
    Charming, really.
    Today was a day of changing the books out alone since John wasn't feeling up to leaving his little den. The hallways were cold enough that Dave could see his breath and feel the burn in his throat while walking down certain corridors, cold enough that he actually took to wearing slippers and a loose cloak as he traveled around, able to handle working with less but more than happy to indulge in the soft fabrics and gentle feeling of warmth they offered. Really, anything was a literal breath of fresh air compared to the stifling heat from the fireplace, and the mostly empty halls were relaxing to let his mind wander in.
    He paused by the door to the library, knocking at it with his knuckle a few times before popping the door open and letting himself inside. Formality here was.. wavering, Dave had come to realize. General niceties like knocking, minding manners, speaking softly, etc. were all common place and expected. Full formality like waiting outside to be let in because he was a slave was not. Same as with Kanaya, he expected Dave to let himself in if he wanted in, same as everyone else in the building, and would only change that if he was in the presence of another member of the household. ..Or if Dave fibbed and used the more constant fallback of “Master sent me, I have to follow my orders promptly and this was the quickest way” that obviously annoyed the household staff.
    A re-shelving and inventory was underway from the look of it. Karkat was nestled among empty shelves, unopened crates, massive stacks of sorted books and open crates of scrolls, going down a list he'd written before to confirm against a new list. Different papers indicated the new organization method he planned to put into action to accommodate the new acquisitions, which sections would go where being marked with different colors. A gargantuan project, but one that was perfect to do in winter: more solitude, less people being interested in leaving their rooms as often, and a nice chill to the air if he worked up a sweat. This would probably kill him in the height of summer, or at least make him want to die for potentially getting sweat on the covers.
    Dave adjusted his grip on the books he'd brought to return and approached slowly, clearing his throat.
    “Pardon. I knocked, but you seem really focused. Is it okay to exchange these?” Dave asked. “I don't know which sections you've already removed from the shelves, but Master wanted me to get some new options while he's resting.”
    “Couldn't be bothered to bundle up and drag himself down here, huh? Prospitians and their aversion to cold. It's like watching cats try to navigate a puddle, lifting their paws every few seconds and looking alarmed that there's moisture touching them. In the center of a puddle that they stand in every single year to cross,” Karkat grunted, shifting the stack he'd been working with so he could get up from the ground and dust himself off. “Give them here. I can get a selection for him easily. Next few books in this series, probably another more serious history text. There are actually some new books on ghosts and legends in the crates, but he'll have to be patient, because I'm not digging those out till they're damn well ready to come out and be shelved,” he said, deftly sorting a few of the books Dave held in offer into different stacks before moving to put the rest in their home shelves. Empty handed again, he reached to grab a few others from different shelves and different points in the library, coming back to Dave's side to hand them over before pulling a few directly from the stacks he'd been working with on the floor, yanking quick enough to not have them all topple like a stack of cards and instead thump quietly down to their new positions on the floor.
    “There. That should do him.”
    “And, uh. … And me?” Dave asked quietly. Books were still hush-hush, and the library should be empty, but just in case, Dave was cautious. There were already enough hostilities around him, he didn't want to add even more special treatment to his list of reasons why a lot of the staff was aggressive.
    “Oh. Yes, right, forgive me. My mind's a bit cluttered today,” Karkat said, raising a hand to thump it against his forehead. Stupid, he'd literally just put away a volume in the Dersian selection, that should have jogged his memory but no: muscle memory automatically pulled him through this time. “Are you wanting more of the same series you were working on, for the Prospitian?”
    “Yes, please. They're a good mix of too easy and a bit hard, keeps me on my toes. I'd be fine with whatever you recommend from the Dersian section, however, you seem to have copies of things I've either read and forgotten about ages ago, or things I've not gotten around to reading and didn't know of.”
    Karkat lifted his chin, proud and a little smug. Yes, good, praise his collection more. It wasn't funded by his own coin, but it was maintained with his sweat, blood and affection and each purchase was usually made while consulting him to avoid getting extra copies of unwanted volumes. It was a very important job, after all, and this was truly his domain.
    “And the Skaian offerings we have: need anything more from that yet?”
    “Oh, Gods, no, not yet,” Dave said hurriedly. “We're, uh. ..We're still working on that.”
    “I imagined you would be, it can be a bit much to get through if you're not practiced in translation habits,” Karkat said, bypassing the Skaian books on his shelves and pondering what else to grab for Dave. Eventually, he settled on a fat volume of tales from the borderlands, collected by a traveler as he walked the entire border of Derse and wrote of what he saw and who he met. All their stories were varied and colorful, with notes added to clarify or expand on the authors thoughts while he was being told these tales by others. Dave ran his fingers over the cover a few times when he got hold of it, adjusting his grip on the other books to do so. After so much flowery writing, it was really soothing to see something in the familiar letters of home. The cover was even a soft, dusky purple.
    “Thank you, I've not read this one either, though it appears that it'll be a good one to plow through, Dave said finally, once he realized that he'd gone quiet. “Thank you for keeping so many books from Derse on your shelves. I know you would have anyway, but even so: it means a lot to me.”
    “Of course I'd keep books from Derse on the shelves, especially with the war going on. That's usually the first thing to go during any stupid conflict: books. Scrolls. History. Keeping that safe hopefully prevents MORE stupid mistakes in the future, or at least prevents the past from being erased. Keeps the enemy human, whether people want that or not.”
    “..You know, I'd not thought of it that way?” Dave admitted. “Our library at home is stuffed to the brim as well, but I never really thought about why that was. Huh.”
    “Leave it to a fucking prince to not consider the importance of humanity,” Karkat said, rolling his eyes. “It literally took you being in chains to realize that. This is amazing. If all royals were in shackles for a year, they'd probably all change their tunes. But that'll never happen,” he said, waving his hand. “Now, do you need anything else, or are you going to stand here lurking and staring at me while I figure out which shelves go where and what to tell the carpenters to start building for additions? It might not seem like it to you, but I'm working, and I'd like to keep it that way.”
    “Oh. No, no, these should be fine,” Dave promised, moving the stack a bit to make the Dersian volumes less noticeable against his chest.
    “Excellent. ..Oh. Wait, no, one thing,” Karkat said suddenly, darting quicker than Dave had ever seen him move to go get something out of an opened crate further back in the room. Another purple cover, though this one was soft and silvery with its script in Prospitian. “I need you to deliver this to Kanaya, if you would. I've also gotten some correspondence for Jane from a Skaian publisher.. but I think it may be easier to have someone else deliver it. You're already running errands, I don't want to pile more work onto you. Those stupid towers are hard to climb when you're weighed down.”
    “A publisher in Skaia?”
    “Yes, she sent several letters pestering this fellow half to death about some pony book she was enraptured by. I think back when you first got here, actually? She translated most of it herself in a single chunk because she was so taken by it. It's modern, or at least fairly modern, so it was much easier to get through than the book you and John are in possession of. Apparently, the publisher wrote back, or sent note from the author. Or is telling her to leave them all the fuck alone and stop heckling them,” Karkat chuckled. “I'll send it with someone else though, like I said. The delivery for Kanaya, though, I'm insisting on. You need to spend more time with your moirail, Dave, take advantage of the slower months.”
    “I'm going, I'm going. I've just been. Busy. Very, very busy.”
    “I already can guess how busy you've been because I'm not blind, and I'd prefer some strong spirits and a boar bristle brush to scrub that image out of my mind with as soon as possible,” the man said with a sudden grimace. “Now, get moving. I've got important work to do, and you're distracting me, Dersite. Jingle on your way. Beat it.”
    With a half joking bow, Dave shuffled back and away from the librarian, back out to the halls. He could see the delivery for Kanaya was written in Prospitian, but between the color and the title, he was a bit confused. ..It seemed familiar. Was this a book from Derse as well, or another Skaian volume that had been translated? Why did it seem so familiar, what was he missing? Dave wished there was a way to jog his memory as easily as to jog his steps along the corridors, chin up and ignoring the few stares and mutters he caught in the more populated areas that he jingled his way through in pursuit of his delivery.
    “Look, there's the Dersite,” he heard said softly. “Unaccompanied again.. Acting like he's so much better, just because he's the heir's favorite plaything.”
    “I don't think he's nearly vicious as the rumor is, considering how much he's already gotten from us.. Especially unarmed. He can't fight back either way, not in chains. If he fought one of us, we'd get a slap on the wrist for disruption, he'd probably land in the dungeons or at the end of a flogger,” another voice said, amused.
    Just keep moving, don't engage, and everything would be fine. It was only when he had to interact with the others that things got tense. Dave could deal with people staring and muttering easily. Didn't stop him from shuffling a bit faster, hurrying on towards Kanaya's the more voices he heard commenting behind him.
    Not safe. Very not safe, and they were absolutely fucking right. The most he could do was shove back, more would be pushing his luck even though the family enjoyed him. He couldn't risk pushing that letter too much, or that favor might fall away in the face of keeping peace among the ranks of the house staff. A slave acting above a hired servant was unheard of, and the special treatment he got was no secret.. but he wouldn't be able to fight back. Not safely. And certainly not well in numbers.
    Ignore it and hurry on, there was nothing he could do but bear and ignore.
    Dave calmed himself when he reached the seamstress' room, taking a few deep breaths to slow his heart before he kicked the bottom of the door a few times.
    “Kanaya? It's Dave, could you open the door for me, my hands are a bit full. I've got a delivery for you, too, from Karkat,” he called. The door wouldn't be that big of a struggle to open on his own, but eh. This saved steps, really. Announce his presence and get to see his friend even sooner, AND get the door open without any struggle.
    Though she didn't call back to him, he heard the immediate shuffling and some clatters from inside as she scurried around, soon popping open the door for him. She was wearing a few layers, all topped with a warm looking shawl in several bright colors draped over her shoulders, and a smile lit up her face.
    “Oh! Dave, I knew you were coming eventually, but I wasn't sure just when. Please, come inside and set all those down. You said something from Karkat?” she said, standing back to hold the door open for him, gesturing towards her work table. She'd been working on something, though from the many pieces he wasn't able to tell just what or if it was a single thing or multiple small items.
    Relieved of his burden, and hearing the soft click of the door behind him lock the safety inside, Dave picked up the top book and turned to hold it in offer.
    “He said this was for you?”
    “Ahh, yes, finally! I'd ordered this some time ago, after hearing about it from some of the maids. I'm so glad it's finally here, I was worried he wouldn't order it for me after all,” she sighed, taking the book and hugging it tight to her chest.
    “What is it, though?” Dave asked, pulling up a stool and perching on it, leaning on his elbows over the table to relax. “A novel?”
    “Oh, yes, it's uh. Well. A romance novel, actually.”
    “Is it any good?” he asked, grinning at the way she was measuring her words and enthusiasm.
    “Terribly good, from what I've heard. I loved the last book by the same author, and this one is supposed to be even better,” she said, pulling the book from her chest to look at it.
    “Is it a really good romance novel because it's really romantic, or because it's really romantic and full of lewd things?” Dave teased, and his smirk only grew bigger when the book immediately went back to her chest and her cheeks lit up pink.
    “It's... in Prospitian anyway, you wouldn't understand it that well,” she said, but returned the grin in embarrassed amusement. “But considering the maids are the ones who got me interested in this author to begin with, and it's spreading like fire in the staff quarters, the answer is yes.”
    “To which one?”
    “Yes.”
    “Kanaya you're being difficult,” Dave pointed out.
    “And you're being short and nosy,” she teased right back, reaching the book out to thump him on the head gently on her way past him to tuck it away safely for later out of immediate view. “Were you just coming for the delivery, or will you be staying a little while?”
    “Staying, if that's alright with you. It's not as stifling in here, and John's not expecting me back immediately. ..And it's been a while since we just got to sit and chat, mm?”
    “I don't see the point in burning up wood and coal like a wildfire when I can keep a comfortable flame in the grate and just keep on layers. It's not like there's a shortage of cloth happening,” Kanaya said. “Since you're staying, come. Let's go back to a more cozy spot and have something to drink while we talk. I've got some snacks as well, if you're alright with letting them warm by the grate for a little bit or don't mind eating them cold.”
    At Kanaya's offer, Dave stood up once more and followed her towards the back of her work space before being tugged gently down to the floor. The heat was rising from the nearby fireplace, but the floor around it was cozy and comfortable, and where they eventually perched was also more comfortable by virtue of the tons of fabric scraps that she had accumulated into a fairly neat pile atop a large tarp. More rolls of fabric in their entirety were settled here and there, some soft, some bulky and more for being rested against, as well as bags tagged with different colors of wool.
    “This is quite the nest,” Dave said with a soft whistle, nestling down and relaxing once Kanaya offered a cup and poured some well steeped drink for him, already sweetened and tinged paler with milk. He gave it a brief sniff before enjoying a long sip, savoring the flavor and spices. This was definitely not a Prospitian or Dersite blend that he was familiar with, but it made for a perfect atmosphere once Kanaya settled down against his side and sighed.
    “Isn't it? I've been keeping scraps and remnants since starting this job. There's no sense in throwing any of it away, there's always a need for sudden patches, or matching additions in tiny quantities, or blankets, or stuffing, or.. well. Too many things to name, really. So I keep them when there's more than a palm full, and with how many projects come through here for me or other assistants, there is no shortage of that. It also makes the most comfortable sit in the castle, short of one of the royal's suites. And it's all mine.”
    “You're not wrong. I've been in everyone's quarters but Jake's and the king's, and so far, this is a definite contender,” Dave hummed.
    They sat in silence for a time, drinking their drinks and just enjoying being side by side again. Dave could feel the tension melting from his bones, and from the way Kanaya's features relaxed, she was feeling the peacefulness as well. They ate a few small, baked pocket sandwiches over light conversation and catching up, sating their hunger and swapping news. Not too much excitement, and the most she was looking forward to as far as work went was spring arriving. So much flowy fabric to whip out, light colors and pastels that would be flooding in if the fashions from the other cities were going to hold true and make their way to the capital.
    Eventually though, they wound up in a lazy cuddle while talking, natural as could be. Kanaya had shifted to her side and rested her head in her own hand to idly nibble a few dark colored cookies, and Dave had settled to lay against her waist with his upper back, toying with a soft fabric scrap and running it between his fingers over and over. The conversation had turned from lighthearted things to more serious subjects, such as the similarities of what they had gone through during training, the pain and the ache and terror of it. The problems they'd faced, and some that Kanaya faced even now that she'd been free for so long.
    “Nobody would fault you for being homesick, Dave. I don't care how much love you may have for John, being ripped away from home and brought somewhere else doesn't just go away. You still feel the burn to return to home. I still feel the burn to return to Alternia, even if I'm not sure it would be so safe to do so anymore.. I hope you can see Derse again, or at least get in contact with your family somehow.”
    She was a treasure. An absolute treasure who listened, who had wonderful things to say, and who said them in just the right tone to make him not feel foolish for bringing it up in the first place. It was a raw wound to open up, many of the things Dave had to say, but she listened and calmly responded when it felt right, or just kept her hand moving to stroke at his hair or along his upper back to encourage him to keep going.
    No risks. No problems. Just them talking in a comfortable, warm, safe space. It was like being with John but.. different. Wonderful in its own way.
    “It's not quite homesickness, though. It's foolishness. I don't want to just go home and see my family, or even just go and stay safely in Derse forever. I want to take John, too. It's.. it's complicated, now,” Dave said, sighing. “When I first got here, I wanted to die for what they'd done to me, or I wanted to kill them all and escape, or just escape in general. Now though, there's John. Even his siblings, actually, they've ALL been nice to me. They're considerate, they don't ask me to do more than I feel I can, none of them order me about. They seem to worry about my well being, even, and I can't tell if it's just a favor to John or because they like me at all, but it's all so complicated. I can't have both. I can't have Derse AND John, and I'm not willing to give either of them up.”
    “Perhaps if the war ever ends, you can. Wars are messy things, but the thing about them is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. And the more they stay the same, the more they change. There may be open borders again someday. Perhaps you could settle right in the center of the countries,” she chuckled. “Or flee to Skaia even.”
    “Two princes on the run, to be wed,” he said, though his stomach gave the briefest, happy flip. Married to John.. that would be a lovely thing someday, perhaps. When pigs flew and he wasn't acutely aware of the fact that, as things were right now, he'd most likely be forced to sit and watch John marry someone else in a political marriage. The same situation would await him in Derse someday, of course. The expectation to marry, to sire children, to further the crown and the familial line was not an uncommon thing in royal homes. At least in his situation, the bride would not be a mystery.
    ..But it wasn't a bride he wanted, when all his heart sang for was a tall man in shades of blue and gold with messy dark hair and a smile like sunlight. It was an impossible predicament. And it wouldn't be bearable, if John were to marry. Dave wasn't sure he'd be able to handle what he'd be expected to cope with, and the very idea made the earlier happy flip turn to nausea.
    “..It's just a dream, though. One I can't have, Kanaya. It hurts to even think about,” he admitted. “And even now while there is the consolation of at least having John here, and of having your friendship to see me through, there is still no peace for me. Things could be so much worse. I was prepared for so much worse, but I was not expecting it to be from servants,” he said.
    “...Servants? What are they doing that's so bad?” she asked with a frown, brows lifting. “Or who is doing the wrong thing? Someone will be getting pins left in their alterations for them to sit upon.”
    “Most of it's not that bad. I'm just whining,” Dave said with a shake of his head, turning the fabric in his hands to start unraveling bits of the thread that made it up, focused on the new task intently as he spoke. “A lot of jeering and nasty things being said to me, or about me being a whore and a beast. I've had water thrown on me, I've been tripped multiple times, shoved, trays knocked out of my hands or jostled so I'd spill. ..They're angry I'm treated the way I am. I understand in a way, but at the same time, I don't.”
    “You're the easiest target of all for unhappy, vicious people. Though, depending on which ones are doing the worst of it, they could just be like that in general. Some of the employees here are.. not that friendly, really, I'm glad they don't interact with the public at large when events are held here,” Kanaya tutted. “And as for WHAT they're saying, you know as well as I and John and everyone else, that it's not true. You're not a beast, even if you pretend to be one with your biting and glaring, and you're obviously not a whore. You're just.. in a really bad circumstance that someday you may be free of. Were it my world, my power, I would do this for you in an instant. It would already have been done.”
    He smiled a bit, reached back a hand to squeeze Kanaya's when her empty one went to touch his hair again. They laced fingers and he sighed a bit, the tension and upset beginning to slip away once more like magic.
    “I think it's gotten worse over time, is the thing. It used to be funny. I'd growl and snarl and show my teeth, and people would scatter and leave me be if I was with John or not. Now though, it's.. it's not. It's threatening. I feel apprehension when I go to the halls and someone starts jeering with no witnesses or guards around. I don't imagine they'd do anything, not more serious than bruises and frustration, but. ..I don't know. There's a definite sense of ill ease lately, and it's gotten so much worse since the festival, I can barely wrap my head around it,” Dave murmured.
    “Try to stick near guards, then. Or try to make John come with you more often. Try to find the staff members that don't do that and be friendly as you're able towards them if you're receptive. Maybe having more people warmed up to you will help discourage the loud, rude ones a bit more than usual,” Kanaya said. “And visiting me more often as well. I can wait for you in the hall sometimes, if we plan ahead what days you'll come. Or even come get you sometimes, if it's as bad as you say. Discourage anything from happening within my earshot at least, same as the library. ..You're loved, Dave. You're cared for by more people than you know, even here, and that will see you through things one way or another.”
    He smiled, pacified, and nodded. It was a stretch, with how he was feeling, but.. it was encouraging enough that he couldn't help but agree with her. It made sense enough for him, calmed him down, and made the situation not seem so bleak.
    He was loved, and that would work things out somehow.
    “Right. Alright, enough of that doom and gloom, I can't handle more serious talks right now, it's exhausting. ..Thank you, Kanaya. For listening.”
    “Dave, you don't need to thank me, this comes with the territory,” she reminded him, amused. “You listened to me earlier as well, and I've not spoken of those terrible things in years. I agree though, it's exhausting. Would you like a bit more to drink, or a few more snacks? I need to get back to work soon, but while you're here, we might as well make a good time of it.”
    “No, thanks, I don't think I could handle anything more. That drink already has me ready to bounce off the walls, it's quite amazing.”
    “Isn't it?” she hummed, though for having had so much she looked calm and peaceful as ever. Must be quite used to it, or be getting some other effect that Dave was being spared from. “My own take on a favored blend, since it's not available here at a sane price. Import prices are ridiculously steep for some of the simplest things,” she tsked.
    “I think.. I think I'm going to head back up to the room now actually,” Dave said. “I'm feeling much better, I'm full of energy, and things finally feel brighter again. I'd like to keep that perfectly in mind when I'm going with my hands full like this, it'll keep me calm.”
    “I'll be seeing you and John either tomorrow or the next day,” Kanaya said when Dave started to slowly get up from the pile of fabric and find his legs once more, shaking the few clingy remnants off his body and smoothing down his clothing. Yes, she supposed it was time to get up, no sense in staying in a pile ALL day after all. “Some new bedclothes for both of you, and some gloves as well. I was experimenting on how to make some nice, light wear gloves for indoors or gentle use and retain some grip, and I think by adding segmented portions of very soft leather to the pads of the hands and fingers will do the trick just fine. I'm just adding the finishing touches on everything, shouldn't be too terribly long, but it'll save you a trip.”
    “Tomorrow or the next day, got it. I'll be looking forward to it,” Dave said, waiting till Kanaya was up to give her a tight hug around the middle, resting his head and cheek against her fondly. “I'll try to visit more often as well, not just for deliveries. I'm sorry I've not been coming around as often.
    “Shhh, don't apologize, things slip around a lot and I know your situation. Though, because I know your situation so well, I do request that you await my arrival fully clothed if possible? John as well. I've seen him bare for measurements many times over the years, I can survive not seeing more than I have to now,” she said as they pulled apart, Kanaya pinching either of Dave's cheeks and tugging them gently before smooshing either side to distort his features when he squirmed and complained.
    “Yes! I will! Geeze, first Karkat, now you. We're not rabbits you know.”
    “Young love: close enough,” Kanaya chuckled as she released him and headed back to her table, adjusting her shawl back into place as she went. “Be safe on your way back, Dave. And thank you again for the book. I'll see if I can find a way to explain the contents easier next time.”
    “Or at all,” Dave snorted as he picked up his books again and opened the door, turning to give her a loose bow out of habit. “Later then. Have a good day, Kanaya.”
    The smile she flashed at him when she waved and he left remained stuck in place for quite some time after, as did the warm, peaceful glow of an early afternoon of contentment spent with a moirail. ..This wasn't like being at home in Alternia, where everyone knew the social customs so well already, the implications, the expectations of the bonding. But considering Dave didn't understand everything about why it meant so much to her, and was still more than willing and capable of filling the part? The way they could relax immediately, and feel that sense of peace?
    This very moment was the closest to Alternia she had felt in years.
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albionscastle · 8 years ago
Text
Man or Beast?
Ok so I wrote a post about wanting fanfic of Dan Stevens growling, and lamenting that I would have to write it myself.
So I did. I couldn’t bring myself to go too far, so its mostly suitable for work.
But I definitely had to address how that growl made so many of us feel. It started as a small drabble and ended up as 6 pages of Belle trying to come to terms with Adam and the confusion I thought would be inevitable after his transformation. Then adding desire and that growl to the mix...well...hopefully I did ok lol
@americanllychallenged
@srwredhead
@fatherdomdom
@mostlikelyno
“Soon.”
The full moon was high overhead as you tossed and turned in the bed that had so quickly become your own. The past weeks had been a whirlwind of adventure, perhaps a little more than you had really been prepared for if you were completely honest with yourself. You had suddenly become the heroine of your own romantic novel, complete with magical creatures, villains and a handsome prince and the reality was somewhat more overwhelming than you would admit to.
The noises from the castle outside the sanctuary of your room had long since ceased as your friends old and new took to their beds. No longer dusty, dark and crumbling, the castle was a sight to behold...vast in size and rich in design. The inventor part of you revelled in the beauty and form of your home, but a small part you almost missed how it was before. By no means did you resent the broken curse that had removed your friends from their household prison. Your heart swelled to see them happy, to see Chip running with dog, Lumiere dancing with Plumette and to witness them all enjoying their freedom. There was so much love in the castle, there always had been to a degree but it was so open now.
No, what you missed was the quiet, the solitude of your weeks here with only those few for company. When your time was spent in books or conversation and the days stretched in contentment as you learned so much about the inhabitants of this incredible place.
Now it almost seemed as though people swarmed all over and you felt both happy that all was well but a little selfish in wishing the castle and its inhabitants were still just...yours. You scolded yourself for your thoughts, you had never been a selfish person and you weren't now. But a feeling of….something….you couldn't put your finger on it. Something was off.
It was the Beast, no you corrected yourself, Adam. He was Prince Adam now, human, handsome, wonderful. So why did you feel this way? So uncomfortable in the place you felt to be home. So tense and awkward when you were with Beas….Adam!
That right there, that was what was bugging you. Mere weeks had passed and in that expanse of time you had been practically assaulted, held prisoner, discovered magic and curses, escaped from an angry mob, discovered your mother's fate and fallen in love...with a beast...not a man. So much to take in and come to terms with. The death of Gaston and the transformation of Adam notwithstanding.
It was the Beast who had gifted you the library, who had thrown snowballs with you, had danced with you in an enchanted ballroom. His heart was the one that had touched you, it was his arms you had dreamed of when you felt alone and when you had been standing in that broken old windmill, staring at the broken pieces of your childhood it was him you had looked at and thought of home.
Since the night the curse was broken a new factor had to be taken into consideration.
Desire.
In the moments after the curse was broken you had felt it and given into it. Your heart knew Adam and the Beast were the same, but your mind was having trouble coming to terms with these new feelings. Your heart skipped a beat and your breath caught whenever you caught a glimpse of the man but you almost felt unfaithful, your mind’s eye still seeing your Beast. It didn’t help that you had barely seen him in the last few days, either. There had been no moments of privacy or conversation. No touches, no kisses. Just being in the same space but not together while he worked so hard to put everything to right again with the village and himself. After so many years of misery and darkness you knew he was trying to adjust as you were. You also knew somehow that he was aware of your struggle, or at least of your distant feeling. His blue eyes radiated patience and a little hurt when he looked at you.
Throwing off the covers you paced to the open window, looking out into the night, pensive and anxious. You loved him so much you thought your heart would swell and burst in your chest and you ached every minute of the day for him. Prince or Beast you wanted to feel safe in his arms, needed him to drive away this empty feeling you had when he was out of your sight.
A celebration was planned for the next day and the final preparations kept you busy till late afternoon. The castle was spotless and stunning, everyone was dressed in their best finery and Adam had spared no expense, no doubt remembering the parties that had helped to set the curse in motion initially. You stood in front of the mirror in a stunning white dress, almost not recognizing the figure staring back at you. Alone for a few minutes you sucked in a deep breath as tears pricked your eyes. Perhaps a good cry was what you really needed, a release of all the emotions built up inside you. Forcing deep breaths you managed to fight back the threatening torrent, there would be time for tears later.
A knock at the door drew you from your thoughts and you couldn’t hold back the gasp or shiver that escaped when Adam walked through.
He came up short a foot inside your room, his lips curling into a smile and his eyes running over you in a way that made your toes curl and your stomach flip.
“Beautiful.” he whispered, stepping toward you.
You felt your cheeks turn red as you lowered your eyes to focus on the bright blue of his coat rather than his eyes.
You wanted him to crush you to him, to tell you he was still him, still your Beast, that everything was going to be ok. Instead he walked over to your bedside and picked up the book laying there.
“This again, really?” he snorted as he held Romeo and Juliet and for a second you heard him. You imagined him rolling his eyes dramatically as he had done before and a tiny laugh slipped out. Glancing up, you looked at him flicking through the pages, really looked at him for the first time since that night. As he scoffed at this and that you saw the line of his mouth, turned down at the corners the same as the Beast, his shoulders rolled with the same motions and for the first time you realised he even carried himself the same way.
Your gasp was audible and he rushed over as you sank to your knees.
Your head had finally caught up to your heart. Adam was the Beast, the Beast was Adam and a flood of emotion rushed through you.
“Belle! What is it?” his voice surrounded you and despite the higher pitch you couldn’t understand how you had failed to hear that it was the same damn voice. How could you have been so foolish, and so blind?
“Adam. Beast.” you murmured into his coat as he gathered you into his arms.
“Ahhhhhh, I see.” he whispered against your forehead, pressing his lips gently to the skin there.
“I’m so sorry. I was so confused and so..”
“Overwhelmed?”
“Yes.”
“I understand, it’s not an easy thing being human again for me either, I’m having to remember how to manage a lot of things differently.”
His fingers sat beneath your chin, tilting your head so you could look him in the eyes, the same eyes that you had so loved before. His lips curved in a soft smile as his fingertips brushed across your cheek.
“I’m sorry too. I’ve been absent for days, so consumed with trifling things that I thought I needed to get out of the way so I could just be with you without interruption. I sensed you were struggling and I should have simply hidden us away from the world like I wanted to.”
“I was wishing things could be like they were before….when it was really just us here. It was selfish but I thought that if we could just be alone then I could come to terms with what I was feeling.”
‘You fell in love with a Beast.” he smiled softly, “Then suddenly you had a man. Truth be told I would have been surprised if you came to this easily.”
“I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and the whole thing would never have been real. Even now I wonder if he was real and it breaks my heart to even think that.”
“Oh Belle, my love.” he took one of your hands in his, leading it to rest over his heart. You could feel the strong, steady beat against your palm. “Do you feel that?” you nodded. “That is the beat of his heart, as well as mine as they are one and the same. He was as real as I am now and like him, this heart beats only for and because of you. You saved him, saved us from an eternity of loneliness and pain. He is still me and I am still him, only the outer shell has changed.”
“I know that, my heart knows that, my head needed some time to catch up. I missed you, him, us.”
“I’m a fool.”
“True.” you both chuckle. There is was, that same camaraderie and humor, the easiness flowed back and you felt comfortable again sitting on the floor in his arms.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight again, I promise.”
“Even if I’m reading Romeo and Juliet?”
If his eyes had rolled any harder they would have left his sockets. You couldn’t help but laugh hard as he over acted his dislike.
“What is it with you and that book? There are so many better things to read.”
“It’s the book that brought us together.”
He stopped rolling his shoulders instantly. “How so?”
“When you were laying in your bed and I was talking about Shakespeare and you acted just like you did now. It was the first moment I really saw you, not a Beast, or a cursed Prince, but you, stripped down and honest. It was from that instant that I began to fall in love with you.”
“Well then.” he leaned down, gently pressing his lips against yours. “I guess we shall have to get every copy we can find.”
“Even one in Greek?” you chuckled.
“Especially one in Greek.”
There was cheering as you descended the staircase to the ballroom minutes later. Your smile was wide as you looked out at the human faces of the people you loved and some who were starting to come around to a better way of thinking. Adam lived up to his promise and never left your side, one hand always touching you in some way. Watching him like this was like seeing him for the first time, you didn’t think of him now as either man or the Beast, he was simply Adam and you loved him. The evening flew by in a whirl of music and light, a sensory overload with him as your center, your anchor. You were happy.
Later you watched him laughing with Cogsworth, his blue eyes flashing and his teeth shining. There was that breathlessness again, the feeling that came when your very fiber acknowledged how gorgeous he was, and that he was yours. Your eyes watched his long fingers sliding around a goblet and your mind’s eye responded with an image of them tracing patterns over your bare skin.
“Belle?”
You shook your head to clear your thoughts as you realized someone was speaking to you. Before you turned your head you caught Adam’s glance over the rim of his glass, a piercing, almost predatory look that made you realize he had guessed the nature of your thoughts. Your cheeks burned as you turned away to address your companion, feeling his eyes on you.
A hand came around your waist suddenly causing you to jump.
“I believe this is our dance, my love.” he smirked, taking your hand and leading you out to the floor.
For a time you moved together, only your hands touching, yet somehow even that small caress seemed so much more. You knew what this was, welcomed it. The feeling of being swept away was intoxicating and you felt almost drunk as you both moved through the steps of the dance.
“Are you feeling ok?” Adam’s tone was knowing and assured.
You tried to fight through the fog to any semblance of control over yourself.
“How would you feel about growing a beard?” It was meant to be a teasing comment.
His eyes flared as he chuckled then fixed you with a stare.
He growled.
Growled.
While smiling.
Actually growled, deep and with feeling.
A wave of heat shot through your body, head to toe, your heart hammering in your throat and your stomach at once. Your knees turned into rubber, buckling under you and only a quick thought let you stop before you hit the floor.
His smile was still in place as he brushed his lips across your hand, gently tugging you back into a standing position. One look at his face showed you he had missed nothing. You couldn’t look away as the dance drew to a close, his gaze held you in its grip, his smile never wavering. The music stopped, signaling the end of the ball and for several minutes you were distracted by goodbyes and thank yous.
No one would let you help tidy things up and slowly everyone made their way to their beds, leaving you alone in the ballroom.
Or not.
The candles had been snuffed and only the light from one candelabra remained, moving slowly out of the shadows toward you, in Adam’s hand.
For a moment you wondered if perhaps this was how a rabbit felt when it was being stalked by a wolf. You felt like prey.
You liked it, enjoying the shiver that ran up your spine.
“Come.” He took your hand and directed you up the stairs and towards the East wing.
You climbed in silence, the only light coming from his candles, his thumb tracing circles over the back of your hand.
Your heart beat so hard and fast that you were sure he could hear it, his smile told you he knew exactly the state you were in.
The door to your chamber loomed in front of you now and he let go of your hand, moving to stand behind you. As your fingers grasped the door handle he spoke, his voice low and gruff.
“I’m afraid I have to break my promise to you Belle.”
He stood so close that you could feel his breath on the back of your neck as he leaned down, his lips pressing against the bare skin of your shoulder.
The breath rushed from your body in a whoosh.
“I have to let you out of my sight for the night.”
No he didn’t, you thought as his mouth trailed toward your neck.
“Why?” you managed to sigh, unconsciously pressing your back against his chest.
“Because, my darling girl…” His teeth nipped at your neck, causing you to moan. “If I keep you in my sights tonight, I’m likely to eat you alive.” You felt his small laugh before his open mouth closed onto your neck, his tongue sliding across the spot he had nibbled at.
“Adam.” Your arm snaked up, your hand sliding across the back of his neck, holding him against you.
“Say my name again.” His voice was raspy and beastlike, his tongue tracing the outline of your ear.
“Adam.”
He lifted his head, pressing his nose against your cheek.
“I like that, hearing my name on your lips.”
“I love you, Adam.” Your heart swelled.
“I love you too, Belle.” he whispered roughly before covering your mouth with his own.
Where before there had been tenderness and wonder, now there was passion and want, desire and need. His tongue slid across your bottom lip and your teeth before tracing along the length of your own. With a moan, stifled by his kiss, you responded in kind, your every nerve ending buzzing as your lips and tongue learned the shape and feel of his mouth. Another growl rumbled in his chest when your teeth caught his bottom lip, nibbling and licking as he had done to your neck.
In that moment he wrenched himself away and you turned sideways, facing one another, both breathing heavily, wide eyed and wanting.
“I have to say goodnight, Belle.” he managed to pant, his eyes blazing.
“I know.” You whispered. “I don’t want you to.”
“God!” he groaned loudly, stepping forward.
The candlestick was set on the floor before he pounced, the length of his body pressed against yours as the door held you up. His fingers tangled in your hair, pulling it loose from its pins, his lips crushed against yours, hard. Your arms wrapped around his torso, crossing over his back, holding his as close as you could. His chest rumbled as lips met and tongues danced.
Here was the Beast.
Long minutes passed in rapture as Adam practically devoured you, lips teeth and tongue blazing hot trails down your neck and across your collarbone. You felt your lips bruising and swelling but didn’t care. Only this mattered. Only him. You wanted him closer, aching with a need you didn’t yet know how to express or even quantify. Your back arched of its own accord, pressing your body closer to is.
“We. Have. To. Stop.” Adam panted against your neck.
You nodded, but made no move to unwrap your arms from around him.
He laughed softly, sliding his hands from your hair, his forehead against yours.
“I want nothing more than to follow you inside that door.”
“I know.” Your throat was dry and your voice sounded so hoarse you barely recognized it.
“When we are married.”
“Soon.”
“Very soon.”
He pressed his lips against yours gently, before taking a step back, your arms falling by your sides. You watched him pick up the candlestick.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, my love.”
You waited until even his shadow had retreated before opening the door, finally sliding into bed moments later, arranging the pillows and quilt to imitate his presence beside you.
Somehow you knew that in another part of the castle he was doing the exact same thing.
You ran your fingers over your swollen lips, before closing your eyes with a smile.
“Soon.”
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