#snitches the cat AU

[redflagshipwriter]

Snitches the cat and his favorite bat

I wrote up dpxdc fics based off of prompts I happened to see in the last day to add to the reading pile for anyone who didn't prep for the archive down time today.

EDIT

The idea for Danny as a cat came from @shycorvid, thank you so much for correcting me and letting me play in your sandbox!

Snitches the cat comes from @garbagewith-a-cherryontop (I think??? I couldn't find a definite first post!) but the fantastic linked post is the one with how I think Snitches the cat looks here.

Word count is 1053.

Tumblr reference

masterpost for my AO3 downtime fics

“Ugh- that's not- did we just summon a demon cat?”

“It's so messed up looking. Ew.”

Danny blinked and swayed on his feet. He'd had a tail a minute ago, speeding across the GZ to check in on Walker. There had been an unpleasant lurch in his stomach. And now he was on his feet. All four of them.

Wait, what?

“You fucked this up.”

His ears twitched at the sound of a slap. Danny swiveled towards the sound and then got distracted by the feeling of his ears swiveling back. Whaaaaat?

He looked down at his precious little feeties. They were adorable paws.

“Oh, you motherfuckers,” he said. It came out as a conversational yowl.

The humans looked at him from about ten feet away and five feet up. “Annoying…”

He was pretty sure they were high schoolers. There were five of them, two girls and three boys. They were all bigger than him. High schoolers were usually bigger than he was, but this was just ridiculous.

“Count yourself lucky, dimwits,” one of the older kids said. He took a step towards Danny. Danny pressed his ears flat against his head and hissed at the approach. “If you managed to sacrifice Patches to a demon, your Mom would straight up murder you.” He laughed when he said it, like anything about that was remotely funny.

Uh- what now?

Only now, Danny noticed a very distressed calico cat underneath a laundry basket on the other side of the room. There was a stack of textbooks weighing the basket down. A large rug had been rolled up and- he sneezed rapidly, eyes watering. Chalk! They'd drawn on the floor with chalk!

‘This is some incompetent summoning,’ Danny realized, way too late. ‘Did they- how did they turn me into a cat?’ He looked at his unfortunate brethren under the laundry basket. Her ears were flat against her skull and she looked scared.

He remembered the word “sacrifice” and his blood flushed hit with fury. They'd wanted him to eat her! They'd wanted something to eat miss Patches!

The teenagers froze and looked at him, aghast at the angry sounds that were coming out of his throat.

“Shut up!” One hissed. She took off her shoe and threw it at him. Danny dodged and then threw his head back to yowl even louder. Sonic attack! Aural damage, you big jerks!

“The neighbors are going to- make it shut up!”

Danny had to run, dashing over furniture and tearing his way across a crowded table to avoid being grabbed. He screamed the whole time, eager to alert whoever they were so afraid of. Someone should see!

The window burst in.

Danny stopped running, shocked. He hadn't actually expected-

Someone snatched him up from behind and smacked him on the face with a palm. His jaw exploded with pain. It cut off his yowling.

Stunned. He was still for a moment and then he struggled for his life. The grip on his ribs was way too tight-

He looked over at the sound of a sword being pulled from a sheath. Holy shit, that was bomb as hell. His eyes went wide at the sight of a heavily armored small child crouched on the windowsill. The boy's eyes were covered, but Danny could still see him look at Danny and the poor calico under the laundry basket. He sneered.

“Unhand the cat or lose your hands at the wrist, you wretch.”

Danny loved him.

The teenager dropped him. Danny caught himself with a stumble. He let out a sad mraow before he could stop himself.

Fight club baby was enraged. “What have you done to this animal?” He hopped down into the room, revealing he was at least a foot shorter than the smallest girl in the room.

Danny trotted to him and started winding around his ankles admiringly. What a good kid! He purred.

“I will be taking both of your cats with me. If you ever harm an animal again, it will be your head that is found in a chalk-”

“Robin.” A hugeass grown man squeezed himself through the window that the kid had broken. Danny craned his head up, up, up, to see him case the joint.

The older man radiated incredible judgment. “I see that you require education on animal welfare and demonic summoning. Go on, Robin.”

“That's my Mom's cat!” One of the teenagers protested. “You can't take her!”

Robin growled at her. Danny jumped in his skin at the sound.

“Then we shall return it to your Mother and her alone, when we explain what you've done.” Danny let murder baby scoop him up and purred at full volume. Hell yeah. He looked at the cowering teenagers with condescension.

“Not that fugly thing.”

Danny blinked. He ended up making an inquisitive mraow. Why was a finger being pointed at him? He was baby.

“That thing showed up, you can get rid of it. But Patches is Mom's cat, and you can't steal a cat because-”

“Batman can steal any cat!” Robin bit out, gathered up Patches, and jumped out the window with both cats in an expert grip.

That didn't sound right, but Danny just enjoyed the night air as a line pulled Robin up to where yet another masked vigilante was waiting, cackling himself to tears.

“Batman can steal any cat,” he wheezed. “Brilliant. Good detour, Robin. Can I hold one?” He held out his blue-striped palms expectantly.

He faltered when he saw Danny, visibly surprised.

Danny… was starting to feel bad. He curled into Robin, hurt. He wasn't ugly. Why did people keep reacting to him weird?

“No,” Robin said curtly. “You have damaged his pride, and Patches is still reeling from her shock.”

The man let out a sigh but let the topic go. “That's Patches, and this is…?”

Robin hesitated. “He is the Snitch.”

That unlocked cooing. “Snitches? Snitchy Snitch Sni- ow!”

Danny snapped at the hand that came way too close and he let out a warning growl. No baby talk!

Robin seemed very pleased. He rubbed behind Danny's ears. “Snitch… I suppose that Snitches will suffice. We are taking him home.”

“....Maybe, just for fun, we should take him to get treated for mange first!” The guy made jazz hands to go with his statement.

Robin and Danny both growled that time.

[garbagewith-a-cherryontop]

Do gothamites know about the Waynes’ weird cat? Like I feel like with the fact that people go to their house for Gala’s there’s a big chance of at the very least rich socialites running into Snitches. Idk how you picture Danny but I can imagine him just pranking random rich people at a Gala held at Wayne manor.

Like at first the Waynes try to keep him in a certain part of the house but they look away for a literal second and he’s just, gone. Meanwhile elsewhere in the manor some poor unfortunate, unprepared soul is having an Encounter with a capital E while looking for the bathroom.

'News About The Waynes' New Demon Cat' has definitely showed up in the headlines more than once, what with Steph regularly terrorizing the local Cat Lovers Community. Those that arn't busy questioning Vicki Vales' sanity either think it's all a very alaborate (and weirdly specific joke), or they full heartedly belive it. Gotham's already weird, a demon cat or two is to be excepted at this point.

Pets arn't allowed at Galas, so very few people have actually seen Snitches in person. Though not for a lack of trying on Dannys' part.

The first ever Gala hosted with Snitches in the manor ended with at least half the guests needing therapy. And Bruce had to bribe the press into blaming it all on fear toxin. (Scarecrow was very confused by the sudden spike in notoriety but he wasn't complaining.) Now there is at least one person keeping an eye on Snitches at all times whenever there's a sosial gathering. Not that it helps. All you have to do is blink and the damn thing vanishes.

Witnessing a Wayne jogging out of the room, holding a partly hairless cat, is almost expected at this point.

Whoever Danny decides to terrorize is mostly random. Tripping people, walking through solid objects with only one witness, eating off of plates while invisible. Anything that will make them look suspiciously at their drinks and than discreetly pour the rest out into a vase or potted plant.

Old creeps on the other hand... as well as young creeps, nosy reporters, assholes, or just anyone who acts/looks a bit too much like Vlad don't leave the Gala unscathed. Bit in the ankle, clawed in the face, tumbled down the stairs, saw something unspeakable in the bathroom that wasn't just their own bland reflection, the list goes on.

People don't go looking for the bathrooms anymore. And on more than one occasion has someone brought a priest as their plus one. Some have even tried handing Bruce the business cards/phone numbers of exorcists or others within the occult who can help. In fact, Steph has started collecting them! It's Snitches victory wall! :D

[shycorvid]

For the DPXDC Snitches! AU: Does Danny want to be transformed into a person or is he content with his new cat life?

It totally depends on who's writing him :). In what I have planned, he's pretty sure he'll wind up back to normal sooner or later, so he's taking things in stride.

[imagionary]

OH BOY Dave sure can! Do THAT! Was that presentation a one time thing or does he do that for kicks Translation: SHOULD I BE SCARED OF HIM

Itsa one time thang, babe, dontchu worry 'bout it, aight? ~

Unless you's plannin on crossin' me- hahaha! Just playin', or am I?

[yanderenightmare]

♡ TW: nsfw, noncon/dubcon, omega verse/hybrid au, size difference, pet-play, predator x prey, collaring, double-pen, gangbang kinda, tag-team

♡ fem reader

It’s been a month since your new owner brought you home, and despite expectations, you’ve yet to be eaten by the predators you share your den with. On the contrary, the six hybrids seem to have accepted you as their seventh pack member despite you being at the very bottom of the food chain.

You’ve come to trust that, despite the look of hunger in their eyes… food isn’t exactly what they have in mind. 

The hyena seems to be the only one your age. But he’s also a bit of a bully. Always goading you with ticklish poking until you stomp your feet and whine at him to stop. 

He never listens to you, though – he just cocks his head, finding it funny how you try giving him orders – only grinning as he pins you instead, chewing some on the lops of your ears while squeezing your cottontail – smirking and giggling at your pouty face getting all frustrated.

Your weak kicking is so cute, and so is how you try clawing at him despite having but blunt nails – he can’t help but laugh at the way it tickles him. 

It’s so painstakingly clear you’re not made to fight back, and it’s so adorable how you don’t even realize you already surrendered the moment you rolled over on your back with your belly up. 

It makes him go absolutely feral when you pull on his ears and mane, begging him to stop as he laves at your slit and clit, delving his long tongue deep within your walls until the tip prods your womb. It’s course against your skin and harsh on your insides and scratches your poor clit until it’s all swollen and throbbing for him – making you sob as his feral smile teases your chubby mound with a bite – only satisfied when you cum in his mouth.

But while the hyena enjoys play-fighting with you, the rest are more prone to fight each other…

The panther and leopard are good friends, whilst the fox and wolf seem to tolerate each other – and you don’t know whether it’s unfortunate or a blessing in disguise that both pairs only want you for themselves and often end up fighting over you.

You’d say the four are the most trigger-happy of the pack – always hissing and barking at each other. But everyone knows that cats and dogs don’t get along.

The canines are a little scarier, you think. They’re rougher with you.

The wolf especially. He’s older than you, a big heap of hulking muscles that bear down over you with the daunting superiority of a seasoned hunter. 

He doesn’t take lightly to you talking back to him – acting as though he’s actually offended when you so much as open your mouth if it’s not to swallow his tongue. Even if all you ask is for him to go a little slower, he’ll just growl at you – threatening your neck with fangs while chewing your collar – and otherwise ignore your cry completely. Calling you his bitch while telling you to quit your whimpering even though he’s been breeding you sore for the past hour, ramming your poor cunt so hard your muscles have all given out and left you to lie on the floor with only his paws keeping your hips upright.

He's always extra rough when you reek of cat – as though it’s your fault. Huffing and puffing as he now has to spend so much effort scenting you again.

It’s a never-ending war between them all. You go from camp to camp, getting marked again and again like territory, only for your owner to clean you up at the end of the day.

But the wolf is the worst. One time he’d gone so far as to piss on you… 

But he was later scolded by the owner – bonking his head with a rolled-up newspaper, telling him he had to learn to share or else he’d have to go sleep out in the doghouse. He’d also been told he had to stop breaking skin when biting you unless he wanted to be muzzled.

It only made him all the more grumpier. Growling in your ear that the one who ought to be muzzled is you and your snitch-mouth always crying wolf like some bitch who never learns her place – that next time you go talking to the owner, he’s going to eat you like the piece of meat you are.

You come to learn that he’s more bark than bite after a while. 

When you get used to him and his stamina, you stop crying and start holding onto him instead. And it’s when you’re burying your face in his neck and begging for his seed that he softens up for you.

He stops biting and starts sucking instead – laying hickeys all over your neck and chest, blushing with closed eyes when suckling your tits like a pup. You learn he’s a sucker for being called good boy and will wag his tail when you sit on his face. 

He’s also the one with the most owner-sickness of the pack, always clinging to you, growling when others get close, and never ever sharing when his turn.

He only begrudgingly allows the fox to eat his scraps afterward. 

You can only mew as he mounts you next. 

His tempo is always a bit of a shock – a bit juvenile, but who can blame him when he’s had to wait for so long? He’s a little younger than you – eager and desperate for it every single time.

Pounding you sharply – hard and fast with howls and heavy panting – even whimpering as you hold you tighter and tighter, squeezing you free of air as he savors the feel of your wet pussy clamping down around him.

He doesn’t growl too much when you whine. Instead, he laughs – elated and frenzied – eyes manic as he sticks his tongue as far down your throat as he can – drooling uncontrollably as he sinks his knot inside you and spills his worth inside your womb.

It’s a relief he doesn’t last as long as his bigger partner.

He’ll suck love-bites on the chubs of your cheeks as he unswells – lick all the sweat from your skin and come down by the sweet taste. Laying sloppy kisses all over your body and lapping over all bruises and soreness in gratitude – looking at you somewhat sheepishly with big puppy-dog eyes as though suddenly embarrassed that he’d been so feral.

The felines are less spastic. 

But they also like to lick you – with sand-textured tongues scraping at your fur and skin until they’ve made sure you’re coated with their scent. They seem to enjoy grooming more than anything, always snuggling with you.

But they get flirty, too… you’ll know when they start kneading your softer parts – blinking at you slow and expectantly until you return the favor.

They’re the same age and have known each other all their life, practically brothers, and do everything together as though they were a pair of Siamese – including when they mate with you. 

They’ll lay you down on one lean chest while the other is poised above you. Purring as they take turns with you – both so gently.

The panther always has a sly smile on his face when looking down at you – his claws retracted while he sticks his slender fingers inside your mouth to play with your tongue. He says it’s one of his favorite things about you – so soft and so silky, so different from theirs when you lick his skin.

It makes the leopard pout behind you, nuzzling you tight, his cheek to your cheek, asking the other if he doesn’t like it when he grooms him. 

The panther only smiles down at both of you, promising that he likes both your tongues until he proceeds to swap between which one of you he kisses.

When the leopard kisses you, he also admits he likes your tongue – whispering all depraved things that come to mind – loves how smooth it feels in his mouth and on his lips and neck and nipples and cock and balls.

Eventually, the heat gets to their heads, and their pointy ears start to droop, looking at you with such dark glossy eyes, opium-blown with pleasure and lust for more – kissing each side of your face, asking whether you won’t allow them both inside you at the same time – their pretty pleas making your head go silly, panting while nodding your head for them, bucking your hips stuck between the two while begging for both of them.

You feel their slim tails coil around each of your thighs as they sink inside your drooling heat together – their breaths deep and shuddering while they feel your tightness squeeze around them. 

They coo at you – telling you how perfect you look trapped between them like that – as their pretty little double-stuffed toy. And you’re too cock-drunk to do anything but agree.

After flooding you with cum, they go back to cuddling – sleeping – the both of them purring with lanky limbs all tangled on top of each other and you in the middle.

The bear is also a lazy fellow – a gentle giant. Something you’re grateful for – you don’t think you’d survive if he ever tried mounting and pounding you like the other boys.

He’s the eldest of the pack. Twice your age. You feel the seniority in his movements – all unhurried, savoring every second with a warm smile.

He’s satisfied with having you on his lap – cock-warmed by your tight bunny-cunt while you hand-feed him berries. You feel a little safer with him knowing you have the same appetite and that he isn’t thinking about eating you. 

He hums, a rusty sound that comes from his gut – telling you he likes seeing you eat – that it’s cute how you take such small bites – and the way your nose scrunches and your cheeks fill.

Sometimes he’ll tell you to hop on his lap – his massive warm paws placed on your haunches with large black claws gently denting the plush flesh found there, encouraging you as you ease up and down the great length that bulges from your belly. 

The size of it makes you pant.

You’re glad he’s happy having you at the end of the day – after you’ve been loosened up by the others. You fear he’d split you in two if otherwise.

The owner collects you before bedtime after everyone’s had their share – clips a leash onto your collar, and leads you to the bathroom – crawling on all four like an actual animal. You’ll often collapse halfway there, but he doesn’t mind scooping you up to carry you instead – always with a few patronizing words leaving him while mollycoddling you, almost speaking baby to you, telling you how proud he is of how domesticated you’ve become.

There’s always a bath waiting for you – a gift for being such a good little pet, he says. 

It reminds you of when you were first brought here, as he washes you with his own hands – rubbing the filth of spit, cum, and sweat from your sore limbs, messaging your flesh into nice limber softness again.

He’s always mumbling about human matters under his breath – money, business, estate – ruffling your hair when you give him a blank stare. Apologizing while saying he won’t trouble your pretty head with such complicated topics.

All you have to worry about is being his stress-relief – something clueless and dumb and dependent on him. You realize that without him needing to say it. It’s communicated through all the other things he says anyway.

He’s always whispering in your ear before bed – sweet nothings about what a good bunny you are – how you’re the cutest, softest, sweetest little thing in the entire world – telling you how much he loves you and how happy he is that you’re finally settling in – how you’ve become the most precious little housebroken pet for him.

It feels different when he touches you. The other hybrids make you feel small, but there’s a familiarity with them – something about being hunted fairly and squarely, like out in the wild. 

With the owner, you’re reminded you’re a pet eating out of his palm – something tame warming his bed at night with your leash tied to the bed frame.

He doesn’t fuck you with the same intent as the others do – there’s no rut behind his cold movements. It’s not mating or breeding. It’s something else you can’t put your finger on. Something human. Something alien to you.

Something in the way he has his hand fisting your leash as he sinks inside your heat – something in how he babies you, calls you cute when you shake and cum around his cock like you can’t control yourself.

It all makes you feel like some mindless animal.

Impulsive and primitive in comparison to him and his calculated thrusts and how he only cums inside you after you’ve all but begged him to breed you.

♡ part 1

Owner: ♡ BNHA - Aizawa, AFO ♡ JJK - Nanami, Kenjaku ♡ HQ - Ukai Hyena: ♡ BNHA- Shigaraki ♡ JJK- Mahito ♡ HQ - Tendou Wolf: ♡ BNHA - Bakugou, Dabi ♡ JJK- Sukuna, Naoya ♡ HQ - Sakusa Fox: ♡ BNHA - Denki, Kirishima, Deku, Amajiki ♡ JJK- Yuji, Yuuta, Choso ♡ HQ - Hinata, Nishinoya Leopard & Panther: ♡ BNHA - Denki & Shinso, Dabi & Hawks ♡ JJK - Geto & Gojo ♡ HQ - Miya twins, Oikawa & Kageyama, Kuro & Kenma Bear: ♡ BNHA - Enji, Aizawa, All Might, Mirio ♡ JJK- Toji, Nanami, Higuruma ♡ HQ - Daichi, Ushijima

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[astonmartinii]

day ten: three (un)wise men | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem piastri reader

christmas time is the one time of year oscar has some peace and quiet away from his teammate... or at least it was

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, georgerussell63 and 671,209 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: the piastri house just got a bit busier

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user2: just take me out back and put me out of my misery

user3: add me to the list

oscarpiastri: i think you'll find it was quite busy enough

yourusername: boring, get a new routine bozo

oscarpiastri: i am not wholly opposed to this relationship but that was before he invaded our house and got mum to get rid of all of my salmon

landonorris: i am ALLERGIC

oscarpiastri: that's such a lie ???

landonorris: your mum believed it

oscarpiastri: you're just letting him lie to mum @yourusername

yourusername: he didn't lie he just embellished the truth

oscarpiastri: i'm telling mum we've just thrown out perfectly good salmon

landonorris: NOOOOOO

yourusername: well this isn't dramatic at all

oscarpiastri: @zakbrownceo lando just pushed me down the stairs

landonorris: snitches get stitches

oscarpiastri: i probably already need some :(

yourusername: you're literally fine osc let's stop being dramatic please

user4: my new years wish is to be in a relationship like theirs

user5: i think i would do anything at this point

user6: in brother's best friend we believe

oscarpiastri: BEST FRIEND?

landonorris: wow osc tell me how you really feel

oscarpiastri: i mean i like you, i tolerate your relationship with my sister but i draw the line at saying you're my best friend

logansargeant: logan sargeant erasure for sure

user7: so like now y/n is done with her degree will we get her in the paddock more

mclarenf1: not if this is what happens when she's around

user8: it's funny?

mclarenf1: oscar got thrown down the stairs over fish?

user9: they're called the three unwise men for a reason

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 893,209 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first christmas down under

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user10: why is this actually making me want a hot christmas?

user11: if it seems so wrong why do i want it to be right?

user12: i can't be sweaty while eating christmas dinner sorry

yourusername: that's not necessarily true

landonorris: oh! yes... hehehehe

oscarpiastri: SHUT THE FUCK UP

yourusername: why are you in our business ?

oscarpiastri: you're making it my business

landonorris: and how would we be doing that?

oscarpiastri: you're cuddled up like two ft away from me, giggling very loudly and saying 'what you gonna say to that osc'

yourusername: us? never!

oscarpiastri: i'm going to tear out my hair before the end of christmas

yourusername: with that forehead? no you won't

oscarpiastri: life was so peaceful when you went to lando's for christmas

landonorris: it might have been peaceful but you did miss us ... the phone logs prove it

user13: they gotta be so annoying for the other piastris

user14: idk i think they're like puppies that have to get all of their zoomies out and then just pass out on the couch

user15: more like lando and y/n are the big bumbling dogs and oscar is the one unimpressed cat who will on occasion chase their tails

carlossainz55: and yet you never made the short trip to spain... makes you think

yourusername: i'm way cuter than you

carlossainz55: is it just a piastri thing to be annoying

oscarpiastri: excuse me?

carlossainz55: you heard me the first time

yourusername: this is a crazy hill to die on considering lando will be a piastri in the near future

oscarpiastri: he basically already is

landonorris: omg i knew you guys loved me

carlossainz55: ew?

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,204,377 others

oscarpiastri: you know what they were right to call us the three unwise men because why did i come down to get a glass of water to see lando under the tree in nothing but a ribbon i NEED all three of us dead at this point

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user17: exsqueeze me?

user18: lord i have seen what you have done for other people

user19: my only thing is ... lando doesn't seem the most flexible how did he do the ribbon bows himself ...

maxfewtrell: most traumatic facetime of my life

yourusername: you can be angry about this, i personally do not give a fuck

oscarpiastri: that much is clear

yourusername: lando made it very clear that we had bagsied the living room for the evening

oscarpiastri: you have a christmas tree in your room? why didn't you do that there?

yourusername: you have an en suite you could've gotten a glass of water from there?

landonorris: i think i know the issue here

oscarpiastri: oh please do share your wisdom

landonorris: you seeing me like that changed something inside of you

landonorris: are you having an identity crisis osc?

oscarpiastri: no?

yourusername: good! he's mine!

oscarpiastri: i was in shock because i saw my future brother in law 90% naked on my living room floor

landonorris: i can see that

yourusername: omg look at us we're so good at talking it through - therapy who?

alexalbon: PLEASE STILL GO TO THERAPY DEAR LORD

oscarpiastri: i will defo still be talking to my therapist about this

user20: i know the caption is traumatising but also lets have a second to think about how oscar has just posted three memes of himself

oscarpiastri: i have a very expressive face i gotta use it

maxverstappen1: wowwowowow lando is stooping low for the mental games this season

maxverstappen1: let it be known lando, gay chicken is not very effective in psychological warfare

landonorris: okay?

maxverstappen1: it will just take your love away from you ....

landonorris: i don't want osc? i am very happy with the piastri i have

yourusername: i am the best piastri :P

oscarpiastri: i'm gonna ignore the whole slander in the comment above but are we all ignoring how max is lamenting over his loss of daniel?

yourusername: i think we should just leave him to it ....

yourusername

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tagged: landonorris

yourusername: i got my present this year, yes ribbon included

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user21: slowly but surely you guys are pushing me into my hater era

user22: if you're gonna brag about it can we at least get some photgraphic evidence

user23: PRETTY PLEASE

yourusername: that's for my eyes only

oscarpiastri: and mine apparently

landonorris: i gotta spoil my girl

alexalbon: but from what oscar's post says the present was you?

landonorris: well yes!

alexalbon: wow that must be disappointing i'm sorry @yourusername

yourusername: i can assure you i was very happy with my gift

landonorris: see alex !!!!

landonorris: i also got y/n other gifts

alexalbon: i should think so considering i've seen you in changing rooms :/

georgerussell63: another woman disappointed on christmas, not very feminist of you lando

landonorris: NO BODY SHAMING ON CHRISTMAS

landonorris: also WHAT?

user24: poor lando - he can't escape the bullying from alex and george even on christmas

user25: it's good entertainment tbf

oscarpiastri: i'm glad my trauma was a nice gift for you

yourusername: ur still whining about that?

oscarpiastri: yes i will whine until i die it was TERRIFYING

landonorris: you can keep complaining

landonorris: but i'll do it again next year

oscarpiastri: cool you can traumatise YOUR family instead

landonorris: oh you'll be there

oscarpiastri: huh?

yourusername: you guys are all coming to somerset next year!!!

oscarpiastri: i didn't consent to this?

yourusername: we can't split up the three unwise men :(

landonorris: please osc :(

oscarpiastri: fine.

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yukitsunoda0511 and 982,309 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

landonorris: no shrimps on the barbie at christmas i am very disappointed

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user27: didn't they throw out all the fish when lando arrived...

user28: let's sit back and watch oscar vs lando part 289 since christmas started

oscarpiastri: you raise a GREAT POINT

oscarpiastri: i got thrown down the stairs for no point?

landonorris: i fought you in self defence?

oscarpiastri: i didn't have any fish in my hands? STOP VICTIM BLAMING

landonorris: actually it was only like three steps

oscarpiastri: three steps constitute stairs

landonorris: nuh uh three steps does not a stairs make

user29: yall done?

yourusername: you don't even like fish?

landonorris: but i love YOU !!!

yourusername: i love you toooooo

yourusername: but you're gonna have to get over it because next aussie christmas i will be having my seafood

landonorris: i guess so

landonorris: but just for you!

yourusername: awwww this is real love :3

user30: i think we've just seen y/n tie lando down for life

yourusername: oh believe me i've tied him down before

landonorris: hehehehehe

oscarpiastri: idk i defo saw a shrimp ...

oscarpiastri: in a ribbon...

landonorris: well i was hardly ever gonna be excited to see YOU

yourusername: it's okay babe he's just trying to rattle you

oscarpiastri: i'm just stating what i saw

yourusername: that's it !!! the next time your next to stairs it's ME you should be worried about

oscarpiastri: well this is not very christmas spirit of you

landonorris: we got all our christmas spirit out even when you tried to cockblock

oscarpiastri: i'm going to block both of you

user31: three unwise men i love you all

user32: mclaren please never take them away from me

user33: @ mclaren please bring back unboxed with y/n as host please

yourusername: i only star in not safe for work videos with lando sorry

landonorris: :3333333

oscarpiastri: i'm going to kill myself

fin.

note: nearly done with this series woooooo!!!!

[pastelhikaru]

dp x dc prompt's that live in my head space

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:⋆·˚*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:⋆·˚*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:⋆·˚ ༘ * 🔭

✧₊⁺ Danny was practicing shape shifting when he accidently sets off a portal gun. Now he's a little stuck as a kitten in Gotham, shenanigans ensue

✧₊⁺ Random influencer asks a sleep deprived Danny about his opinion on Red Hood. And his response is smash and nothing else

✧₊⁺ Twins Al Ghul & Reveal gone wrong AU however Danny was hidden and given away to the Fenton's to adopt.

✧₊⁺ Danny is Tim's half-brother, The portal incident when he's younger

✧₊⁺ Danny is de-aged to his actual ghost age and gets adopted by Talons

✧₊⁺ Cat!Danny / [Snitches] Au. in which he gets stupid injured and shifts into a cat. Is found by Damian. He loves to out the bat's injures :3

✧₊⁺ Exposé! Danny AU. Where Danny acts as a "villain" to train inexperienced vigilantes

✧₊⁺ Dick gets surprise adopted by the Fenton's after a tiring mission.

✧₊⁺ A small Tim summons Danny to act as his Dad for a parent teacher conference

✧₊⁺ Wish dad Tim and the surprise baby clone child

✧₊⁺ Danny's Batman and Superman's clone

✧₊⁺ Zone College AU

✧₊⁺ Of kindness and empathy prompt

✧₊⁺ A ten year old emotionally repressed Damian runs away and gets adopted by Danny

✧₊⁺ To fail and succeed prompt

✧₊⁺ Danny wakes up as Damian's younger brother and doesn't want to be neither an assassin nor vigilante

✧₊⁺ Dead man walking prompt

✧₊⁺ Tim is hit with a cuddle pollen shenanigans ensue

✧₊⁺ There's a baby in the pits! Well i guess let's blame the situation on Bruce

✧₊⁺ Clockwork is Cronos prompt

✧₊⁺ Will work for food prompt

✧₊⁺ Tucker has a power mishap and gets stuck in the digital web

✧₊⁺ Danny gets his dna stolen and he now has clone children with Red Robin

✧₊⁺ Bruce is misplaced in the DP universe and emotionally adopts Danny

✧₊⁺ Danny is Match and Kon's brother Au

✧₊⁺ Danny is an annoyance to Ra's cause he keeps stealing the pits

✧₊⁺ Zone Comic con :3

✧₊⁺ Failed reincarnation AU

✧₊⁺ Danny talks cultist out of giving up their soul

✧₊⁺ Batman comes back a ghost and also becomes Danny's hero mentor

✧₊⁺ Talons take care of de-aged halfa trio

✧₊⁺ Danny punches the Joker and people assume he's Batman. The Batkids add fuel to the rumors

[soap-ify]

PUP!SOAP INFLUENCING PUP!READER TO BREAK THE RULES SK HE CAN WATCH THEM GET PUNISHED BY PRICE/GHOST SINCE HES JEALOUS SHES GETTING SM ATTENTION FROM HIM

screaming because your mind !!! soap is such a little shit. we love to see it.

very much a part of poly!141 au with owner!price and pups!reader, ghost, gaz and soap btw !!

cw 18+, alcohol, spanking, no real fucking just suggestive stuff here and there, very price x soap x reader focused.

soap tried to be nice, he really did.

it was just that you were swallowing everyone’s attention, especially price’s, leaving him all alone in the corner. feeling sickeningly neglected.

he knew he was being selfish, the attention he got from the other two pups and price never decreased. yet here he was, royal blue eyes glaring at the way ghost would let you nuzzle against his ears, or the way gaz would brush your tail ever so gently while you would happily give him ear scratches, or the way price would let you sleep on his lap.

why were you getting all the attention?

he was just a very greedy pup.

price had this one rule that all his four pups had to follow — never get drunk late at night if on the base. for the sake of attentiveness during trainings and missions.

it was a very simple rule that you had easily respected so far alongside the others. though soap was keen on changing that tonight.

“c’mere, lass. need yer help with something.” he pawed at you gently while you were sleeping on your bed, coaxing you awake, all confused and sleepy as he led you out of your quarters, both of you making sure to be quiet as you tiptoed your way behind him, eventually reaching his room.

confusion struck you when he handed you a bottle of bourbon, grabbing one for himself. “johnny, we aren’t supposed to drink…” you mumbled nervously.

“hush. ye will be fine. no one will find us, eh? s’our wee secret. plus i was really bored. needed company of a sweet bonnie like ye.” he assured you, a wolfish smirk adorning his lips, his words somehow easing your nerves since you trusted him.

minutes passed by as you drank the bourbon, getting more and more drunk, not even realising that soap hadn’t touched his bottle at all.

-

“i tried to stop them, but they weren’t listenin’ to me at all!” johnny huffed innocently, snuggling against price while the captain glared daggers at your hunched and nervous form, seated on the couch inside his office.

your bad hangover was too apparent throughout the training and price was clearly concerned for your wellbeing.

until soap spilled it all out, not mentioning how he was the one who told you to get drunk.

you whimpered and chewed on your bottom lip nervously, feeling betrayed and humiliated at the sergeant’s little snitching act, your tail tucked behind you nervously and ears hung low.

“c-captain, i didn’t mean to…” your weak voice fell to deaf ears as price stood up and walked over to you, settling down on the couch before harshly pulling you down onto his lap.

you whined sadly, face buried into his thick clothed thighs while you obediently pushed your ass up, his fingers roughly undoing your pants and pulling them down, leaving only your panties on you.

“such a fuckin’ bad pup. couldn’t even follow a simple rule.” he clicked his tongue in irritation, one hand holding your face down, fingers tightly laced with the strands of your hair while his other hand gently rubbed the soft flesh of your ass, callused fingers grazing against your skin before he delivered a harsh slap, not holding back at all.

a choked sob left your lips, eyes stinging with incoming tears as you sniffled and tried to not squirm, heat rising within your skin.

slap. slap. slap. you had mentally lost count on how many you got before he finally let go, roughened up hands gently rubbing your poor beaten up ass, panties all soaked and neglected.

you were a mess — lips wet with drool and cheeks all tear streaked, hair messy and sticking to your forehead while your glossy eyes distantly tried to look around, finally catching soap in the corner, a shit-eating grin plastered on his lips while having a visible boner, his eyes admiring the raging hand marks on your skin. soap was such a fucking bastard. what you didn't know was that he liked you better when you were a punished, sobbing mess.

price felt a bit guilty for being so mean despite you clearly having broken a rule, his hands slowly cupping your face and bringing you up, looking at the way you nervously hicced and cried, mumbling soft apologies over and over.

he couldn’t understand why you would break a rule. you were such a sweet pup! all new and sweet in the taskforce, everyone’s favourite.

but you were so dumb too, not complaining about soap at all, not wanting the other pup to get in danger.

-

once price did find out about soap’s little act (he never told anyone how), he made sure to give you extra special treatment the whole week while keeping the sergeant locked up.

ghost and gaz just watched from the sidelines, not feeling any remorse for soap. they would never mess with a cute pup like you anyways.

soap was a sad horny mess, thinking that at least ghost would sneak the pup out. but even his lieutenant was a meanie, and so was gaz — both visiting the cage and snickering at him the whole week while you got to be spoiled rotten by price.

[ginnympotter]

I would love to see an au with no Voldemort, and what Christmas would have looked like for little Harry with Jily.

"WHOOAAAAA," shouted Harry with excitement, flinging the cover of the box to the side and looking at its contents with admiration.

"You know what they all are, don't you?" asked his godfather, sitting beside him.

"Mmhm," confirmed Harry. He pointed to each Quidditch ball. "Koffle, budger, snitch."

"Close enough," said Sirius, ruffling his hair. "Merry Christmas, kid."

"What do you say, Harry?" asked Lily.

Harry hugged Sirius's side quickly. "Thanks, Uncle Sirius."

"You're welcome. You know, personally, I'm a fan of the old bludger strapped in there-"

Lily interrupted him. "But it's too dangerous to let out inside with other people here, PARTICULARLY for a five-year-old, as you're well aware-"

"Okay, FINE," Sirius surrendered, standing back up. "BUT, if he wants to play with it, I could take him in the yard. I think I've still got some beater skills in me."

"No son of mine is putting his hands on a beater bat," interjected James. "He's obviously going to go for the Quaffle-"

"Oh dear," said Lily, holding back a smile. Sirius and James turned to look at Harry, who was already playing with the Snitch. "Looks like we've got a Seeker on our hands."

Harry let the Snitch fly a bit, then caught it triumphantly.

"Good job, Harry!" shouted James. "Do it again!"

Harry obliged, letting the Snitch go. It fluttered away, and Harry began to chase after it with glee, the cat following in his stead.

"Look at him, all grown up, a Quidditch player in training already," said James with pride.

Sirius put an arm around his best friend. "I know. I remember the day he was conceived."

"Me too," said James.

"You do not know the day he was conceived, Sirius," said Lily, cheeks flushed.

Sirius laughed. "You underestimate how much we overshare. And look, I get it! My motorbike's sidecar is VERY sexy. That's why I bought it in the first place-"

"Oh Merlin, I'm going to kill you BOTH-"

The other guests started to cheer- Lily, James and Sirius looked to the center of the room, where Harry was on Remus's shoulders, easily grasping the snitch from mid-air. He looked to his parents and smiled. "DID YOU SEE THAT, DAD?"

"YOU'RE A STAR, SON!!!" James shouted, running over to him.

Lily couldn't help but smile, watching as James took Harry off Remus's shoulder and kissed him on the top of his identical mop of hair. Sirius pulled her in for a side hug. "Listen, I love that kid over there. I'm very glad you conceived him- even if it was during the 5 minutes I left you two alone in the motorbike."

"Yeah...me too."

[hello-sweetheart]

Catnip pt. 1- Steddie Fic Draft | Meet Cute AU

Steve and Eddie aren’t even neighbors, they barely live within the same region as it is, and have been completely unaware of each other until

Steve and Eddie have unknowingly been coparenting the same cat. She showed up to Steve’s house one day a few years ago and he’s fed her enough that he no longer considers her a stray, but as his cat that takes up the very serious job of protecting his vegetable garden from thieves. He leaves his kitchen window open when he’s home so she may come and go as she please. Never sees her in the evening or night, but ‘cats are like nocturnal or whatever, right?’ She’s probably out hunting doing her due diligence.

In a neighboring town, Eddie has also been caring for a ‘stray cat’ for a few years that she really isn’t a stray cat anymore tbh. She has her own little doggy door and everything. Watches American football with Wayne and sleeps on Eddie’s dirty laundry pile. Sure, he doesn’t see her for most of the day until the evening, but who is he as a man to try and police her independence. Eddie never questions where she she gets the tea towels she brings home to add to her laundry pile nest, he ain’t no snitch.

One day, Eddie is greeting her, stroking her back, and notices a stitched up wound on her back. He freaks out like omg??? where did her highness get injured? Who looked after her? wtf? He goes to the vet but the vet is tight-lipped about it as he can’t really disclose customer information.

So, Eddie makes a HiveMind community post to try and find the good citizen that helped his baby and properly thank them.

E. Son of Munson🗡️🎲: Looking for the good citizen who found Little-Lady injured and took her to vet for stitches! Thank you so much, pls let me know how I can repay you. Or message me if you have any information on this local hero <3

[Attachment]

[❤️ 36 likes 💬 3 comments]

Gareth H.: Glad she’s ok dude! Can’t lose our favorite groupie 🤘

Steve Harrington: Little Lady? Um, I’m pretty sure that’s my cat?? Her names Chai… Pls accept my DM

[Replies to Steve Harrington]

Chrissy Cunningham ❤️‍🩹🧷: Oh no… 😥

[redflagshipwriter]

I think ab Snitches everytime i look at a photo of my cat, and if I were a better artist I'd draw it. But I'm not, so here's said photos, bc they give off a specific kind of vibe

That would be an excellent casting choice. You're right. What a weird little guy! Photo 5 looks to me like he's smug after tattling.

[garbagewith-a-cherryontop]

Wait in your opinion how would the battam reaction would be if Snitches is not a cat but something of uncanny valley monster you see in analog horror?

So sorry i haven't seen this before now! My ability to function took a hike and has yet to return. But to answer your question, albeit 20 years later:

I think they'd all be pretty apprehensive at first (except for Damain, the little shit), but after a few hundred failed attempts at getting rid of the damned thing (with no help from Damian whatsoever), they'd have gotten used to the constant feeling of forboding that follows the cat everywhere and just accepted their new "normal". They are gothamites after all.

Tim absolutely HATES the fact that the cat doesn't let him go more than 16 hours without sleeping and he is mourning the loss of several coffee mugs. But the cats speciel ability to get anyone into any situation DOES make for good blackmail material. He just wishes it would stop crawling out of his laptop screen whenever he hits the 16-hour mark.

Steph on the other hand, has learned to love her new partner in crime. Sending pictures of Snitches to unsuspecting cat lovers has become a favorite pastime of hers. Snitches is also helping Cass amp up the horror factor whenever she is sneaking up on someone. Either by staring directly into someones eyes for an extended period of time (literally, the clock goes slower) or screaming at a random corner unpromted.

Snitches makes for a pretty good cuddlebuddy as well, once Dick learns to ignore the feeling of tendons and bones that definently don't belong to a cat moving right under the cats skin even though Snitches is lying perfectly still.

Duke has taken to wearing sunglasses inside and never looking directly at the cat. The little guy is pretty alright once you ignore the horrors.

Jason has started showing up to family gatherings on time, because if he doesn't the cat hurls him through a portal. (Though sometimes it just does that anyway. Snitches has made it pretty clear he does not respect him.) The rest of the family has learned to abuse this and regularly invite him to things since he literally can't refuse. Although Snitches has started to bite him less, now that the pit has calmed down. Still though, getting your blood sucked out by a cat is not a fun experiance. The two keep a professional distance.

Bruce resently discovered that John Constantine (and any other magic user for that matter) is absolutly TERRIFIED of Snitches and has started using the cat as leverage in meetings with the JLD.

Damian is feeling very smug that Snitches got to stay (not that they had a choise). And although he won't ever admit it to anyone with opposable thumbs (unless they're a monkey or ape) he is really relieved that there is someone looking after his family when they are being stupid. Alfred can't be everywhere at once (ulike Snitches, who seems to have learned the art of duplication).

Danny thinks they're all morons (he is pointedly ignoring the hipocrisy) but watching Vlad get chased off the property was hilarious.

[anamphibiousassassin]

No, Dani is called Riches because she keeps showing up with random lost artifacts of monetary, archaeological or mystical value since she needs a place to keep her souvenirs and preferably someone to be smug to about them.

I am not immune to magical animal transformation fics. Also, my cat!Danny agenda. So, like, Damian finding a magically transformed Danny, mistaking him for a regular cat, then sneaking him into the manor obviously tickles my fancy. But also, Cat!Danny winning Alfred over by being a complete narc every time one of the bats try to do something stupid while injured is just... *chef's kiss*

Bruce- *trying to sneak down to the batcave while injured* Danny- *looking for mischief, sees injured Bruce swaying in hallway* Mrow? Bruce- Shh. Danny- *slightly louder* Mrep?! Bruce- I will give you all the tuna in the world if you- Danny- *air raid level yowling*

[kaciidubs]

✧*̥˚ Bang Chan's Masterlist *̥˚✧

❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣ Key: 🔥 - Smut | 💕 - Fluff | 💔 - Angst

Dinner Break | 🔥💕 ✧ Chan is the type to get completely absorbed into his work when he's focused, and sometimes he needs a little reminder to take a break to ease his stress.

Three's a Party - College AU! Chris/Reader/Changbin | 🔥 ✧ After studying your ass off for the semester, why not reward yourself with a party and your two favorite guys?

Work from Home | 🔥 ✧ On nights like these, you were thankful Chris was able to take his work anywhere he wanted.

Open Heart | 💕💔 ✧ When you don't know what to say or do, when life starts living you, you can always rely on Chris to bring you back.

Walking in on Roommate! Chan, Pt. 2 | 🔥💕 ✧ Random hard thought of accidentally walking in on your roommate, Chris, while he's masturbating.

Hair Journey | 💕💔 ✧ If he had to choose one thing he adored the most about you, it was your hair.

G'Morning | 💕 ✧ A short blurb about waking up next to a sleep-dazed Chris.

Get Nasty | 🔥 ✧ A short blurb based on the song Nasty [Extended Version] by Russ

A Pun-y Thanksgiving | 💕 ✧ A random thought about Chan and terrible Thanksgiving puns.

Double Tap | 🔥💕 TBA ✧ Chris could never have enough of you; your smile, your laugh, your presence, but sometimes his needs could be... inconvenient.

Cameras and Sweatpants | 🔥 ✧ Photoshoots, the gift that keeps on giving, and you welcomed it with open arms - and mouth.

Insomniac's Cure | 💕 ✧ A short blurb about Chan and a bedtime routine of mine.

Attention Seeking | 🔥 ✧ Asked: just imagine... chan not giving you attention and suddenly goes out...

Confiscated | 🔥💕 ✧ He was going a little too crazy on the new Fans app, and you would swiftly reign that energy back in.

Headaches After Orgasm | 💕 ✧ Asked: i have this condition where i get a really strong headache when i have a powerful orgasm...

✧*̥˚ Nothing Yet *̥˚✧

Swim Practice | 🔥💕 ✧ Chris, your best friend who picks you up after late night swim practices. Chris, your best friend who might just have a thing for your legs.

Words I Don't Mean | 💕💔 ✧ He just wanted to lose himself in you, instead he lost himself in his own mind - but you were there to bring him back.

Curious Cat | 🔥 ✧ Perhaps being curious wasn't all that bad.

Pup! Chan + Seungmin; Steals your stuff vs tattle tale | 🔥 ✧ Asked: Which one of these Pups is stealing your shit vs whos snitching on the other.

Pegging for the first time | 🔥 ✧ Asked: So. Chan is usually very dominant and mean and bed, while your very submissive and obedient. But then one day, he asks you to peg him...

For the Kids | 💕 ✧ This visit was for the kids, so why did Chris find himself vying for a Pediatric nurse's attention?

Are You Still Watching? | 🔥💕 | Ft. Seungmin ✧ It was meant to be a sweet gesture to treat you to a surprise at-home date - what a shame that the pajamas that were supposed to be covering your bodies were now on the floor.

Talk Dirty | 🔥 ✧ Chris was a great friend, picking you up from work whenever you had a late shift - so, it was only fair that you wanted to repay him.

Gentle - Monstober Mini Fic | 🔥💕 ✧ In which you get to finally indulge in your Orc boyfriend, even if it's just the tip of the iceberg.

❣ Masterlist banners from @/cafekitsune ❣ Star banner from @/saradika

[ghostfacd]

WANNA BE YOURS. — LUKE HUGHES

based off this tiktok trend!

pairing; slytherin!luke hughes x hufflepuff!fem!reader

summary; in which you’re head over heels for a certain slytherin quidditch player, no matter how different your circumstances are

genre; fluff, a teeny TINY bit of angst, hogwarts!au obviously, classmates to lovers, black cat!luke & golden retriever!reader (they are inlove your honor!)

author’s note: NOBODY asked for this but I couldn’t stop thinking of slytherin!luke?? LITERALLY writing this with a pounding headache in my beach house as we speak but anything 4 my bae, enjoy as always, comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3 i love ur guys little tags and notes on the rbs

SLYTHERIN!LUKE MASTERLIST

If there was one thing any of your friends could agree on when they are asked with the question what is yn absolutely obsessed with? is Luke Hughes.

The pretty boy from Slytherin who just happens to be a quidditch star, eating up every other house when it came to the games.

Luke and YN have never spoke to each other before—at least, not for more than 5 minutes. The last time she heard Luke speak ever was when he was with his older brother, Jack, and his voice was annoyed as Jack kept teasing him about losing to Gryffindor. Luke, to say the least, was not thrilled.

He was quiet in the classes they shared, only really speaking when he had to. It was one of the many reasons as to why YN liked him so much. He wasn’t like his annoying friends, who were always talking about girls and making Quidditch their entire personality. No, he was sweet and delicate, just how YN liked them.

He was rather cold, though. His last partner, Teddy Wellings was quite the chatterbox, running Luke’s ear off during their potion making session in class. With a cold glare that could freeze Teddy right up, Luke spoke one word. Quiet. It was enough to shut Teddy right up, who got the memo that Luke did not want to be bothered with his constant gossip.

“Ynnnnnie you have to come,” your friend, Evermore says, refusing to let go of her hold on you.

“Morie, I have homework!” You sigh exasperated, “let go.”

“Not until you come with me! This is your chance to speak to Luke, Slytherin is playing against Ravenclaw tonight,” Evermore sits up to smirk at you, “and if you don’t end up getting with Luke, there will be a bunch of cute Ravenclaw quidditch players to talk to.”

“Fine,” you sigh, “only because I know you won’t stop until I say yes.”

Evermore shrieks in happiness, pulling you into a tight hug that makes it hard for you to breathe.

You place on your Hufflepuff scarf and a warm sweater that had your bright yellow house color over them, preparing to leave with Evermore.

When you two finally found a seat, it was dark out and in the middle of the game. Luke was fast on his broom, his eyes calculating and as stone cold as they always were.

“Isn’t Conrad the cutest?” Evermore fawns over the boy, her eyes filled with love.

“Who?”

“The cute seeker on Ravenclaw!”

“Whatever makes you happy,” you say, giving a forced smile to Evermore. Your eyes were more focused on Luke, who was rushing past at the speed of light. He was talented, so much so that he made the team his first year at Hogwarts while his brothers made it their second and third years.

“AND LUKE HUGHES CATCHES THE SNITCH!” The Slytherin announcer yells excitedly.

You watch in awe as the game stops and Luke’s teammates all fly over to him, patting him on the back in excitement and joy.

“This is your chance,” Evermore whispers as she watches the players fly down and start making their way to the lockers. “Talk to Luke!”

She pushes you over to him, and for a slight moment, a rush of adrenaline soars through your body.

Now or never, you think.

So you walk over to Luke Hughes, who was busy talking to one of his teammates.

“Excuse me,” you say, pulling him back slightly by his quidditch uniform.

He looks down at you, then back at his teammate. “Meet you later?” He says to the guy, and you swore it was the most you’ve ever heard Luke Hughes speak.

“See you bro,” the guy whistles as he leaves, “lock ‘em in Lukey boy!”

Luke rolls his eyes at this, then turns his attention back to you. “Can I help you?”

“I just.. I just wanted to say that you played amazing out there.” You say, “and that you’re a really talented quidditch player.”

Luke breaks his cold face to give you a small smile, and if it were not for your sudden confidence, you would’ve fainted at the sight.

“Thank you YN,” he says.

“You know my name?” You say that with more surprise than intended, which makes Luke burst out in laughter.

“Duh, you’re in my class.”

“Well.. I just never thought you would notice me, you don’t even acknowledge most of our class.”

“That’s because most of our class is not worth me acknowledging,” Luke has a sly smile on now, almost as if he’s teasing you. “Is that all you wanted to tell me?”

“No,” you say quietly. “I really like you and was wondering if you’d like to—maybe—go out to Hogsmeade with me sometime.”

Where was this sudden confidence coming from?! Your head internally screamed, but you tried to keep your composure.

“But I’m a Slytherin,” he says, head leaning back against the wall.

“So?”

“You’re a Hufflepuff,”

“I don’t care about houses Luke,” you say, a genuine look in your eyes.

“But I’m always busy,”

“So?”

“I’ll never have time for you if you want to pursue me,”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

“But I’m always cold,” Luke stares directly into your eyes. “Don’t you want a boyfriend who doesn’t always look like he’s upset?”

“I don’t care about that, I just wanna be yours, Luke.”

“I’m bad at communicating,”

“Still wanna be yours,” you say, now holding onto both of Luke’s hand.

“I’m bad at comforting people,”

“Wanna be yours, Luke.”

“I don’t even talk a lot,”

“Wanna be yours.”

“I struggle opening up,”

“Wanna be yours,”

“I don’t like PDA,”

“Don’t you get it Luke?” You say, “I don’t care about any of those things. I really like you. I still want to be yours.”

Luke sighs, looking down at your persistent figure. Even after he’s named everything that could possibly make you uninterested, you still want to pursue him?

“Alright YN,” he says, pulling you close to him as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. “Sure, I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you.”

You couldn’t wait to tell Evermore about this the next morning.

[honeydewsour]

The Quibbler but as monthly shoujo magazine cover parody with wizarding world fanfic titles

(made this while ago to play around with fonts and giggles so pardon the messiness)

might become a series hopefully getting all the titles covered as the cover art or/and adding new titles …uuuh let’s see, any idea what bonus gift for the next parody?chocolate frogs?snitch keychain?? also can anyone guess which shoujo magazine i used for reference?

warning all of the titles mentioned are 18+ read the tags!

a bit of review me gushing out/screaming about the fanfics mentioned, under the cut;

A Good Man Is Hard To Find by @cloniccouer

Sebastian Sallow x Player Character | completed | post canon 7th year au | re-read worthy | characterization 10/10 | cinema | easter eggs type of writing | the more you re-read the better | banter between the characters is one of the best part | filling the hole in the canon hp universe | this is probably the 3rd time i mentioned this fic in my blog | that’s your sign to read it! |

Lace, Letters, and Lectures: Professor Sallow by @mahoushoujom

Sebastian Sallow x Player Character | ongoing | post hogwarts au | professor!seb au | fluffy | characterization 10/10 l definitely the type of fic where it’s even better when you binged it | sweet n spicy iykyk |

Lost Connection by AsphodelRose87

Harry Potter x OFC | completed | Post Hogwarts Battle au | questionable harry | questionable character(s) | questionable decisions | messy, just messy | the kind of messy i like | auror!harry au | right person wrong time and place or right place and time wrong person? |

break a sweat by @shadowtriovibes

Sebastian Sallow x OFC | ongoing | 7th year au | but iirc there is also a tumblr completed ver? if you want to read it | sports & sweats yeah | seeker!seb au | imelda best captain you can ask | inappropriate use of the room of requirement ahem |

Post War by @josiecarioca

Severus Snape x OFC | ongoing | EVELYN BLACK IS SO MOTHER | this one is masterpiece | cinema | Post Hogwarts Battle au | Snape lives au | i still read Al-Andalus part A LOT | better writing than some of tv series out there | exploring more about hogwarts founders | characterization 10/10 | especially the OCs | even the villains | altering the chemicals in my brain | prepare yourself | for this life changing event |

Unraveling of Fates by @aesopsharpstuff

Aesop Sharp x OFC | ongoing | pre canon au | ex auror OFC | werewolves | trauma | i can feel nina’s pain through the screen or am i just dramatic | unreliable ministry & headmaster black what’s new?? | 1880s hogwarts staff are baddass | not talking about a certain headmaster obv |

In The Shadow of Us by @slytherizz

Sebastian Sallow x Player Character | completed | post hogwarts au | #sebastiansallowgettingoutfromazkabanparty /jk uuuh not really but that’s the vibe | post azkaban | enemies to lovers mmm slurrp | was it a misunderstanding or was it betrayal? |

To Frame the King (of Cats) by heartsof_theround

Ominis Gaunt x OFC | ongoing | OMINIS IS A CAT PERSON CONFIRMED | nostalgic shoujo manga vibes except the 18+ part | sigh…teenagers | emotionally constipated ominis | lowkey stalkish OFC | cute cats | lot of cats | slow burrnnnn | character development | this fic might be the next art cover i will draw |

Of Paper Planes and Wildflowers by @eggymf-archived

Ominis Gaunt x OFC | ongoing? | filthy in the beginning | wholesome heartwarming vibe after that | pen pals | the letters is the best parts i still re-read them a lot | this fic lives rent free in my head | you don’t know me but eggy i miss you | idk why but i’m always getting hungry reading this | prepare snacks |