#sneak peak of Meat Plants 3

[graveyardrabbit]

still working on my current embroidery project, but I have finished the Most Time Consuming bit

[ughseoks]

we have the meats | jhs

— pairing; hoseok x reader

— genre/au; smut / pwp / crack

— rating; 18+

— word count; 2.2k

— warnings; hobi is overly dedicated to his job as a sign spinner, sexy sign spinning dance moves, swearing / smut warnings: unprotected sex, slight breathplay, manhandling, daddy kink, uncomfortably excessive cowboy dirty talk, fingering, public sex

— summary; when you show up to the strip mall on an ordinary Tuesday night, the super cute Arby’s sign spinner manages to catch your eye. he’s the total package—even if he’s a little too dedicated to his role as a fake cowboy.

「 masterlist 」

— Written for the Fast F*cking Food collab hosted by @jinned!

— Thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for this gorgeous banner & thank you to @parksfilter​ for beta’ing!! I love y’all <3

Wendy’s.

You hate the fast food chain almost as much as your best friend from high school hated that business major who works at Chipotle. But that comparison doesn’t really apply anymore, because they ended up fucking and have now been on a total of three dates, and you don’t think you’ll be having sex with Wendy’s anytime soon.

The sign spinner for Arby’s, however, is a different story.

Every time you set foot into Bayside Tower Strip Mall, you make it a point to journey to the far corner of the property to visit the forbidden Arby’s—or more specifically, the overly dedicated yet inexplicably attractive sign spinner. Something about his aura draws you in; you didn’t even know sign spinning could be sexy, but the way he rolls his hips as he twists and turns that sign between his deft fingers makes you feel things you didn’t think you could feel.

That’s where you’re currently headed. Cheesy mall music filters through the outdoor speakers as your shoes slap against the pavement, feet carrying you towards your destination. The further you venture through the twists and turns of the large strip mall, the walkway becomes more dimly lit and the lights begin to flicker, the crowd slowly thinning until you’re the only person left in sight. It would be a creepy sight if you didn’t make the trek so often just to gaze at Jung Hoseok. (That’s his name. The sign spinner. You forgot to mention that before.)

You know you’re close to your destination when the low beat of “Grind With Me” begins to filter through the hallway, the sensual notes causing tingles of excitement to slither down your spine and raise the hairs on your arms. One step forward. Another step. Another.

You turn around the corner.

The sight you’re met with is a beautiful one. Jung Hosoek is laying face down on the floor, his forearms propping him up as he grinds into the sign lying beneath him to the beat of the music. A gasp falls from your lips when you realize that he’s wearing assless chaps, the muscles of his ass clenching as his hips rhythmically roll into the ground. Noticing the noise, Hoseok turns to look at you as he grinds, biting his lip sensually as he maintains eye contact with you. He doesn’t even blink until the song is finally fading away. Not even once.

“Howdy, little lady,” he greets with a smirk as he rises to his feet, picking the sign back up and slipping his cowboy hat back onto his head.

“Hi,” you blush, “that was, um, some pretty good dancing.”

“You think so?” He raises both arms into the air in front of him before rolling his hips forward in a borderline obscene motion, biting his lip as he does so. “I’ve been practicing for a while now. Wanted to impress the ladies.”

“Well, you can count me impressed,” you grin, taking a few steps forwards to extend your hand for a handshake. “I’m Y/N.”

“Hoseok,” he winks, “but you can call me daddy.” He reaches into a pocket that you didn’t even know existed and hands you a slip of crumpled up paper, completely neglecting to actually shake your hand.

You give him an odd look before uncrumpling the piece of paper. The words have clearly been handwritten, some of the ink smudged where he’d been too hasty in writing it. Heat flushes to your cheeks as you scan what seem to be items on a menu.

MEATS dick ......................... 1.99 dick ......................... 1.99 dick ......................... 1.99 dick ......................... 1.99 dick ......................... 1.99 dick ......................... 1.99

“This here is my special menu,” he grins, “VIC’s only. That means Very Important Customers.”

“O-Oh,” you exhale, trying to ignore the heat rushing to your nether region. “Am… am I allowed to order from it?”

“You sure can, baby,” Hoseok spins the sign a few times for emphasis, “and for you, it’ll be free of charge.” He takes a few steps forward until you’re toe to toe, his hand reaching up to brush a stray hair out of your face before he leans forward to whisper in your ear. “If you like my sign spinning, you should see all the other tricks I can show you, little lady.”

You shudder. “I’d like to see them, daddy.”

He pulls away from you with a smirk, allowing his fingers to thread with yours. “Come with me.”

You nod in affirmation before allowing him to guide you to a dark corner beside the Arby’s. He pauses at the bushes for a moment before tugging you into the foliage after him, dropping the sign flat on the ground behind the plants and pointing to it. “Hands and knees. Now.”

A shiver runs down your spine as you scramble to follow his instructions, the material of the cowboy hat shaped sign cool against your bare skin. You can faintly hear the sound of his cowboy boots crunching on the mulch as he positions himself behind you. (You tried eating mulch once. It didn’t end well.)

“May I?”

You turn and look over your shoulder to see him staring at you with lust, his gaze burning as it roams your figure. He seems to contemplate for a second before beginning to unbutton the checkered button-up shirt he wears; slipping off his brown vest and allowing both garments to fall into the bushes behind him. Your mouth waters at the sight of his toned abs and firm chest.

“Like what you see, little lady?” His overly dramatic country accent is even stronger this time, but it only serves to turn you on even more. You choose not to think too hard about why that is.

“Mhm,” you agree with a smirk, only to gasp when he drops his chaps and underwear to the ground as well. His cock stands at attention before you, and not for the first time tonight, you find yourself enamored with the physique of the talented sign spinner.

He stares down at you with a cocky smirk for a few moments before lowering himself to the ground, his hands bunching up the fabric of the skirt covering your ass and pushing it out of the way so he’s face to face with your clothed core. Your breath catches in your throat when he hooks his fingers beneath the band of your panties and tugs them down your legs before tossing them away.

He’s back on you in the blink of an eye, his mouth warm and wet as he leans over and grasps your chin in his hand, peppering sloppy kisses across your jaw and neck. You inhale sharply and bite your lip when he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot, the sound causing him to pause momentarily in his ministrations, looking down at you with hungry eyes.

“Don’t hold your back your moans, baby,” he coaxes you, using his hand to massage one of your breasts gently, “I want to hear how good you feel. Can you do that for me?”

You nod, allowing a generous groan to fall from your lips when his hands slither up beneath your shirt to grasp handfuls of your breasts. His teeth nip at the shell of your ear as he gives them a gentle squeeze, and you feel wave after wave of arousal roll down your spine as he continues his ministrations. The bushes around the two of you obscure you for the most part, but if anyone were to look over here with purpose, you’re sure that they’d be able to see Hoseok pleasuring you very clearly.

“D-Daddy, don’t stop, p-please,” you beg, “feels s-so good.”

Hoseok hums in response, the sound reverberating in your very soul as one of his hands slides down to your now exposed pussy. It isn’t long before he’s pushing two long fingers into your entrance, pumping them in and out of you steadily as you writhe beneath him. His free arm reaches around your waist, and your mouth waters at the feeling of his strong muscles holding you steady.

As he continues his ministrations, you feel your orgasm sneaking up on you—and quickly, at that. Hoseok seems to feel it too, because when your pussy begins to flutter around his fingers he redoubles his efforts, letting go of your waist to play with your hardened peaks as his fingertips massage your inner walls.

“D-Daddy, I-I’m—” you cry out. The rest of your sentence fades into nothingness when your orgasm crashes over you unexpectedly, white-hot pleasure floods your veins as Hoseok coaxes you through your orgasm with a smirk.

When your moans fade into cries of overstimulation, Hoseok finally ceases his assault on your pussy, giving your ass a light smack as his grand finale.

“You’re quite the charmer, little lady,” he grins, shifting so he’s kneeling behind you once more. “I’m not sure I can hold back from behind inside of you any longer. Are you ready to ride my big green tractor? Think you can take my cock like a good cowgirl?”

“Yes, daddy,” you plead, hands clenching against the sign beneath you when he begins to drag his member between your wet nether lips. “Please, fill me up. Give me your cowboy cock.”

It’s all the permission he needs, pushing his hips forward so his dick finally begins to slide into your entrance. It’s a stretch; Hoseok is by no means small, and you can feel every inch of him as he slides in up to the hilt.

A low moan falls from both of your lips when his hips finally rest against yours. Hoseok allows you barely any time to adjust before he’s thrusting in and out of you with a steady rhythm, his strokes slow, and purposeful and deep. Every movement of his cock drags against your warm and wet walls that squeeze him like a vice.

“You’re so rootin’ tootin’ good at this, little lady,” he grunts, punctuating his words with lewd smacks of his hips against yours. “Taking me so well; squeezing me so tight.”

“Daddy,” you moan, “harder; Please.”

His strokes falter at the tone of your voice. “F-Fuck,” he groans, hands squeezing your waist tightly, “you’re so fucking hot.”

You shudder at the pure unadulterated hunger in his voice, arousal shooting straight to your core when he suddenly begins to thrust with unparalleled speed and strength. Your body bounces with the force of his thrusts, walls clamping down around him when he leans over and his teeth nip at your skin. It isn’t long before you’re approaching your second high of the night; the moans fall from your lips grow higher in pitch as the pressure in your core begins to build until you’re sure the coil is about to snap.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” Hoseok asks breathlessly, his own hips beginning to stutter as he nears his own orgasm. “Gonna cream all over my country boy cock?”

“Y-yeah,” you whine, “gonna c-cum.”

Hoseok somehow manages to fuck you even harder and faster as his right hand slides up to wrap gently around your neck. The pressure is barely there, but it’s just enough to send you over the edge. Fireworks burst behind your closed eyelids; your walls clamp down around him as he fucks you through your high.

“T-That’s it, little lady,” he encourages you. He thrusts only a few more times before coming to a shuddering stop within you, his release painting your walls as your arms give out on you and the only things left keeping you upright are Hoseok’s arms.

When the two of you finally come down from your orgasms, Hoseok pulls out of you slowly before standing back up, flashing you a wink as he slips his cowboy hat back onto his head. “That was pretty damn enjoyable, if I do say so myself.”

You nod in agreement and pull your skirt back over your ass before standing up to face him while he puts his other clothes back on. It isn’t long before the two of you are awkwardly exiting the bushes, unsaid words of how you want to see him again resting on the tip of your tongue as he resumes his position outside of the restaurant and you begin to walk away.

Should you say something? Would it be too weird?

“Wait!”

You freeze in place, hopefulness filling your heart as you hear Hoseok’s footsteps approach you from behind.

“Y-Yeah?” You ask as you turn to face him, noticing the colorful slip of paper resting between his fingers.

“I wanted to give you this before you left.” He hands you the slip of paper with a cheeky grin, clearly excited about whatever is printed on the thin material. You glance down at it with a blush on your cheeks.

!!! LIMITED TIME OFFER: 5 for $10 Meat Sandwich Month !!! Extra meaty sandwiches at an affordable price. Now made with extra extra meat!

Oh. It’s just a coupon. For discounted meat sandwiches. Cool. Very cool. Not the worst way to be rejected, you suppose.

“It’s a really good deal,” he says proudly, nodding towards the restaurant behind him, “you should redeem it before it expires.” He pauses for a moment, his voice much softer when he speaks up again. “Maybe you can come visit me while you’re at it. Sign spinning isn’t the same without an audience, you know.”

“I’d love to,” you smile, trying to hide the giddiness that you feel from showing in your voice.

“Really?” His grin is contagious as he shoots you two finger guns; how could you ever say no?

“Really.”

a/n; i hope y’all enjoyed this 😳 i was laughing so hard writing the first part LMAO i hope you guys find it just as funny or else that’s awkward OOP anyways lmk what y’all think hehehehe LOVE U GUYS MWAH big things coming soon! kind of. maybe. hopefully OK BYE

© ughseoks 2020, all rights reserved. do NOT modify, translate, or repost my works. modification, translations, and/or redistribution of my works on any platform is strictly prohibited.

[crysta-cub]

Crysta-Cub Lamia Experience: New Years

AO3

Previous

Next

I wake up groggily at 11:30, too much to do before work to try to gain any extra sleep. I look down in arms to find the lamia’s curled up snugly in a ball.I smile down at them as I watch them sleep. Alpha was wrapped protectively around the entire bundle with butterscotch resting against his chest. Both Moonstone and Guardian where holding hands pressing as close to each other as possible. I give both the babies soft strokes to their heads as they slept.

Noticing that I was spending a little too much time watching them, I decide to get up to begin my day and to take a shower. Doing my best not to wake them, I slide out of bed and check on the ferrets, taking out their raw food bowl and cleaning up potty pads. I grab my towel and exiting as quietly as I can.  

Upon returning, I find the lamias awake. Moonstone cradled by Butterscotch while Guardian tries to take a look at the ferrets while Alpha supervies. Moonstone notices me and cries out, reaching out towards me. I lean over the bed to check on Moonstone. “How you doing baby? Feeling better?” I ask, stroking his cheek bone with my finger.

Moonstone whimpers at me and raises his hands to be picked up. Sitting on the bed, I gently scoop Moonstone and Butterscotch up. Still a little warm but he seemed to be improving. Butterscotch seems to be invested in trying to comfort the younger Lamia. I gave Moonstone a kiss on his head, of which he chirps at, before placing them back on the bed to get dressed and open the ferret cage door.

“Alright, let’s get the little ones some food, have the ferrets run around a bit, I need to eat…” I list off to myself as I gathered the Lamias to carry them past the threshold of the room. I walked to kitchen, closing off the entrance so the ferrets didn’t cross. I open the fridge, pulling out the chicken broth and raw pieces and setting them on the counter. I pour some of the broth in a small tea cup to heat in the microwave for a few seconds.

I can feel the lamia’s watching, Butterscotch and Moonstone in my arms, while Alpha and Guardian took up each of my shoulders. I then go to the pantry and fish out a box of mac-and-cheese for myself. I dig up a pot, fill it with water and began to prep my own food.

Once I was sure the chicken broth was cool enough to drink, I set the Lamia’s down onto the table in the dining area with the cup. Alpha went over to the cup, testing it to see if it was too hot for the youngins. Seeming satisfied he motioned for Moonstone to come over, tilting it so he can have a drink. “Alright you two” I motion to both Guardian and Moonstone, “This should help warm you up and make you feel better. I’ll bring the chicken over in just a moment.”

Moonstone drank thirstily for a bit before tugging at Guardian to have some. Guardian tries to deny it but Moonstone is insistent. Both of them take turns drinking from the cup. Alpha seemed to have been offering them both words of encouragement and perhaps motivation, if the arm flexing was any indication.

I set down the plate of chicken after a moment. Butterscotch picks up a slice and brings it over to Moonstone, speaking to him as he offered the piece of meat. Moonstone gladly accepts the piece and begins to eat. Butterscotch returns to the plate and does the same to Guardian.

Once my plate of food is done, I return to the table, watching as Butterscotch mothers the two baby lamias. I can hear the ferrets scratching at the gate, but feel it is too soon to introduce the baby lamias to them just yet. I open my can of soda and began eating. It’s nice to see Alpha and Butterscotch work together to take care of the new babies. I enjoyed my meal watching them interact.

I hear a clatter in the living room, recognizing it as cans falling off of the coffee table. I sigh and call out as I get up, “Damn it Papyrus, You serious have a problem with those cans.” I hear Moonstone calling out to me as I begin to leave, I turn back to smile at him, telling him I’ll be back. I step over the gate to save the Papyrus from his addiction to soda cans, playing with him so he is distracted enough to forget his earlier goals. I then clean off the collection of cans and plates on the coffee table, I may not be cleanliest but I’ll get around to it.

I look to the clock and notice that Its getting closer to 2, time really has a habit of escaping me. I return to the kitchen, putting dishes into the sink and cans in the recycling. I hear Moonstone squeaking at me again, I look over to see tears in his eyes. “Oh Moony, It’s ok.” I walk over, scooping him up for a cuddle. I look at the few pieces of chicken left on the plate.

“You guys need access to the chicken, while I am at work… How would… Oh wait, i know” I exclaim to myself, before putting Moonstone down on the table. “Be right back” I say before heading downstairs. Soon enough I’m huffing and grunting back up the stairs with a mini fridge. “I forgot i still have this thing, should come in handy. I carefully step over the baby-gate and make my way up the stairs, going into the lamia’s room, and setting it down next next to the closet. I plug it in, hearing it come to life. I get up, gathering Xena who decided to sneak into the room behind me and close the door. Placing Xena into the room, closing them in for the day.

I open the baby gate, as I don’t want to keep having to step over it and gather the lamias, a the container of chicken from the fridge, as well as the previously used plate. I bring them to their room and place the food in the already cooling fridge. I close the door then turn to Alpha. “Do you think you can open that.”

Alpha flicks his tongue out in thought before flexing his arms and slithering off of me. Taking a deep breath, Alpha begins to struggle with the door. For a moment I began to worry that he wasn’t going to be able to, but soon there was a pop as the door opened. “Hey, you did it, that’s my strong boy” I praised, Alpha beaming with a grin.

I bring the rest of the lamias over the one of the heated beds. I place them within, Butterscotch trying to hold Moonstone down to rest. “I’m sorry I really got to get ready for work. Its New Years Eve and everyone is needed today.” I plea before removing myself from the room. I can hear Moonstone squeaking out to me, breaking my heart. But I have to get ready and go. I Switch from my normal attire to my work clothes as fast as I can.

Making sure I have everything, I go back into the lamia room. Moon is by my feet, grabbing at my pant leg crying. I pick him up and carry him over. “It’s ok, Moonstone. I’ll be back later tonight. Alpha and Butterscotch will protect you and you have Guardian here too.” Moon shakes his head at me, clutching onto me closely.

“I’m sorry, but I really have to go. I got to work if I want to keep taking care of you guys and keep this house. I have tomorrow off so I’ll be able to spend more time with you then. You really need to rest so you can feel better.” I gently peel Moonstone off of me and grab a small blanket to swaddle him in. I make it just tight enough for so he can’t get out immediately. Giving Moon another farewell kiss, I place him back on the heated bed next to Guardian and Butterscotch.

I notice Moon’s eyes begin to droop as he begins to get tired again. I also give a kiss to both Guardian and Butterscotch before getting up. Alpha is sitting on the fridge, looking at me expectantly. I bend over to plant a small kiss on his head before exiting the door and putting on my jacket and gathering up my knife bag and purse to leave. I know I’m already running late as I go to my car and drive off to work.

I can’t help worrying about the baby Lamias while at work, my first few hours slower than I had expected. Once it begins to pick up, most thoughts of the lamias are pushed to the back of my mind as I concentrate at taking order after order. I secretly hope I am able to leave on time, but as the crowd get, I fear I may not be home before Midnight strikes.

“3...2...1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone in the casino shouts. I wasn’t out on time and it seemed my team still needed me. I celebrate with my team, seeming joyful. There is a sound akin to fireworks coming from the main floor and as I venture to peak out, it seems that the noise was coming from attendants popping balloons, rumor of prizes began to be mentioned. I go back to my register, knowing that I’d be stuck for a little while longer.

I park my car outside my house, my car claiming it to be close to 3am. I’m exhausted after the nearly 11 hours of work. I move my legs out of the car, feeling the soreness in my legs. I slowly make my way to the house, fishing my house key out and going to unlock the door. Stepping inside and closing the door, things were quiet. Flipping the switch I am surprised by some popping sounds, confetti flying through the air. On both sides of the entryway a pair of Lamias grinned at me, holding little poppers that I forgot that I even had. Tiredly I chuckled, swooping them up and giving them all a hug.

“You guys are totally worth all of this. Thank you.” I beam at them. I check on Moonstone, happy to feel his temperature getting back to normal. Leaving the mess on the floor to make the ferrets’ raw food. I get the ferrets set for the night, Locking them up again and placing the Lamias on the bed. I exit for a moment to brush my teeth before coming back to strip down and crawl into bed.

The Lamias all curl up next to me, Moonstone tucked against my chest, Guardian curling up next to him. Both Alpha and Butterscotch curl up next to my belly, taking in by the warmth. I sleep peacefully, glad for a chance to sleep in and to catch up on sleep.

[lilwriterinalostworld]

Red virgin Pirates Debut Chapter

Whittle

2670, 320 years after The Great War

10 million suns, 800 dives and five winter peaks later we're finally getting the bow fixed. "What d'ya think, Wit? New fixture, mermaid or a double-tailed dragon?" Wit is short for Whittle and Whittle is my name, or well nickname. But seeing as I've been called this for my whole life on y'old Bloody Mary I take it as my real name. Really my real name, or so they say the name that they found me with, is Weasly. Not sure what my ma had in 'er noggin when given me such a shite name. Anyway, Whittle, Whittle is a combination of Weasly and little cause they found me when I was little and I 'aven't grown so much since then. "Double tailed dragons are bo-or-ring" Luce complains. Luce is Nance's daughter, Nance short for Nancy- the most original nickname of our crew- is our cook. She said a little more of 'ese things called nu-nutrinos-nutrinuous? Nutriends- Nutriunts? And I'd have grown slightly taller. I'm just happy that I didn't rot away in the alleys like the nameless do. Instead, the crew of Bloody whisked me away and now I'm a part of the family, one of the Red Virgin Pirates.

"She 'ave the longest hair? The dragon 'ave the sharpest teeth?" I ask.

"She was damned well a beauty but he was askin for double the price for her then the dragon." Luce replies

I roll my eyes. Those keepers always tryna cheat us. "We'll take 'er anyway."

"Ya didn't even ask the price Wit?" Lunes replies.

I turn my head away from the heavy waves crashing into the port to glare at Lunes. Lunes is the prettiest girl on the ship with 'ese blue eyes and long blond locks, but also the weakest and most pitiful. She and Luce are the only one who ever step onto the shores in the day. Lunes takes down what we each need and then they buy the supplies for Bloody. Which is why it has taken winters to fix our bow. But she does have her blessings. The girl's beauty makes all the lads swoon, so we tend to get better prices on most things. Those that we can't get cheap, we steal. Lune's face pales. "Oh, ya mean at night?" I roll my eyes and look back at the sea. You'd think after a few years on the decks she'd know the ropes by now.

Picked up at an old bedding house we saved 'er from the leers and dirty touches of older men. That first night she'd been all tears. Nance had led 'er to the kitchen where she locked them both in for oceans. When they finally came out, she was as thin as a stick and the rest of us were a growling hungry, nutty rats' nest of a crew. We gave 'er quite the fright we did.

I think Luce said she'd boil her skin and bones into a delectcy?-deliatcle?-delectable? soup. I'd said I'd relish that soft skin as a blanket and roast her flesh over a fire.

I can't say she's warmed to us since but she's as much of a part of the crew as I am.

"I'll go tell Ash then." Lunes says lightly, then scampers back off below deck.

My fingers tap the chipped railing of the balcony as I drift off into my future.

10000 old coppers was a mighty sweet amount. We could buy some of that sugar Bird always raves about. Bird has probably the weirdest background of all of us- she's apparently a princess. I'd be damned if that short squat of a girl with muddy brown eyes and frizzy hair is a princess. But I'd be twitching if I said she didn't talk about all these weird things that few of us 'ave ever heard of.

A long green fruit that has a soft inside, a juicy, tender slab of meat called a steak and a sparkling red drink that makes everyone dangerously dizzy called wine. The last one sounds just like the ale we drink on 'ere, or that everyone but me drinks. I can't stand its vile taste. Instead, I get to enjoy the early hours of the morning, stopping everyone from falling overboard. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing a few of them taking a nice cold dip in the moonlight hours.

Wherever Bird is from is apparently now long gone. Torn apart by a rift and then, in its weak state, raided by neighbours.

She doesn't talk much about it, but when she does her eyes soften and her shoulders slump.

"Oh Whittle, what are ya doing standing there all dreamy?" I feel heat attack my cheeks and clench my fists. Scowling, I face Stern. She's a whole body taller than me and a better fighter by a right hand and she doesn't ever let me forget it.

She's also the captain of our beauty, and the daughter of a sea sleeping pirate.

"Dreaming of all that money?" She asks. I shake my head.

"I ain't ever dreamed a day in my life."

Her lips tip up at the corners, and with her long legs she saunters over to ruffle my hair.

"Oh Whittle, do I have to remind ya of the time ya were so lost in the clouds that we found ya with a rat nibbling at ya ankles?" My cheeks burn further, and my hand instinctively clasps the hilt of my dagger savouring the feel of the smooth wood against my palm.

Some things just feel so right; the cool wind on a festering day, the first sign of the red fish come warming season, the sheer power of a storm that forks and the hilt of my dagger, polished and smooth, sat against my palm. I ring my bottom lip through my teeth before grinning.

"Want to say that again?" 

~~~

"What's the key thing we have to remember tonight?" Stern utters impatiently as she paces up and down the deck in front of us. I roll my eyes, it was just another attempt for her to regain her control over us after our last robbery-if you could even call it a robbery. Nothing was gained unless you count a single pearl earring –not even a pair, it was such a success. "The dog down the street?" Ash asks jokingly, knowing full well how much Stern 'hates' dogs. Hate is what she says because she doesn't want to admit her deep, irrational fear of them, but we see how she reacts. Some old sailor must 'ave scared her with some grizzly tale when she was wee. "Ashen you brat, why don't you go off back to your doting mother and father?" Luce replies, she pauses for extra effect. "Oh, yes, how dreadfully sorry I am. I forgot, you killed them both." She smiles serenely.

"By the winds! Luce don't you think that was just a little bit far?" I ask, apprehensive, my hand already inching downwards to where my dagger rests in the lining of my scratchy pants. "A LITTLE?!" Ash screams finally regaining the ability to speak. "THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR!" Her face reddens and she steps right up to Stern so she's standing over her. "You know full well I had nothing to do with that fire." She grits, "take it back bitch."

"Evidence saysotherwise." Luce chants.

"It was, planted! PLANTED!" Ash says her fingers sprawled out in desperation.

"Guys, get a GRIP." Stern asserts. "Sort this out later when we're back on the ship for Ocean's sake!"

Now I should explain, there's not normally this much tension on ol'Bloody. However, that robbery that I spoke about, well it went awry because of a single person, Luce. Luce though, being the excellent sea worthy pirate, would never go down with her ship, so she pushed the blame. We all know that Ash did nothing but that hasn't stopped Luce from throwing some nasty comments towards her. In all honesty Luce just really needs to untie the topes and kiss Ash, this tension has been between them for far too many moons now. Oceans forbid either of them actually make a move before one of them dies in some unfortunate accident. "Would you guys get a hammock?" I sigh and they both turn their heads to glare at me. I raise my eyebrows in indignation, "the moon and stars are running out so you can keep on brawling or call it peace and we can actually get with kidnapping this rich ass girl." 

We crowd behind the back window of a tall three-story house. "By the old world!" Ash exclaims, as she marvels at the beauty that we can see with the remaining glint of sunlight, from the heavy star that has just passed below the horizon. She was right, the wondrous structure of strength and curves with holes where glass once of mustbeen, was probably from the old world. Conserved or rebuilt to fit the fashion back then, frivolously glamourous. It was a far cry from the insulated steel boxes that lined the shore, in their neat rows, weather beaten but sturdy and reliable. Having never lived in a house I couldn't say that I would rather live in either. But standing there I dreamt a silent dream that maybe one day I'd be able to appreciate such luxury.

"Ok girls," Stern utters quietly slashing the silence and my thoughts of silks and slippers."On my count; 3, 2 , 1." As soon as she says one, I'm scaling the fence. The daylight is slipping away further and further down the horizon. The house thickens their security at night so we can only act now; before the change of guards but also not in broad daylight. There are far more shadows to fit into at this time. Not that I have such a hard time keeping hidden with my short stubby stature.

I hoist myself up to the top of the first window. Thank god the house has such a luxuriant design; all this extra building material makes for very convenient foot holes. My role in this kidnapping-not that we've done too many kidnappings in the past- is to sneak in and smother her with this rag covered in this strong stench of a chemical while she rests peacefully in her bed. It will knock her out. The others are working on taking out some of the guards stationed around the house and clearing a path for me to drag her down and then through the back door.

Sounds simple enough but as we learnt from the robbery things can very easily go very wrong. I climb up the pipe that runs along the house. Yes, you're reading this correctly, they have running water, fresh running water when so many people still walk miles to wells, even more so than in the old world. Bird trailed the piping and it leads to a fresh river from a spring in the nearby mountain. They must be epically rich to be able to afford the old relics of technology capable to produce such a feat of engineering. We were originally going to contaminate their water, but with money come maids and butlers and we didn't want to hurt anyone more than necessary.

I make it to the girl's window without making a peep of sound; I'm deathly silent on my feet thanks to years of training, or well sneaking food on a rickety ship. It's not my fault I was extremely malnourished and that my stomach was constantly growling in anguish. When I look inside the window the first dagger to our plan hits me and I immediately must balance right on the edge of the ledge to stay out of her view. She's awake, just great. The girl who we've tracked for the last month and maintains perfect routine down to the time she falls asleep, on the one night we want to kidnap her, is awake?!

I sigh and look down to where Lunes stands ridged against the wall. "Hey, Lunes!" I whisper towards her and she almost jumps ten feet into the air. Not entirely sure who appointed her watch today. She'd be much safer and more satisfied if she were back on the boat. In fact, maybe if she lived in a house like this, that would suit her perfectly -if we were still capable of living that kind of crazy life in this age. This rich girl's father must have ripped the arms off babies to acquire his fortune. As gruesome as it is to say, in some parts babies arms have become a delicacy, don't ask how I know. I'd like to forever forget the plate I saw, the long soft pink arm and the tiny hand clasping a plum in its little fingers surrounded by the tongues, of what species I'd rather not guess.

I purse my lips at her to indicate that she needs to signal to the rest of the crew that something's up. She immediately begins to mimic the softest and sweetest bird songs of one of the few species that can still be found on this island. It's the sweetest little thing, with green tipped feathers and a black tipped beak. It's also a massive nuisance of a thief and has these tiny thin bones than get stuck in between your teeth. Rumour has it it's a mutation from the famous roach of 2067. Turns out the ugly flying things weren't the only things to survive or flourish in that region.

After a while Lunes stops, and something red catches the corner of my eye, a long strand, like the silk of a spider web. It reflects the sun's embers and I freeze as still as a statue. Hair, she must be right by the window. Whose idea was it to choose bird call as our signal tonight?!

I stretch my eyes far around and I can see some fingers against the bottom of the window, her nails are these long shiny things, covered in sparkles and I feel my eyebrows break my stiffness, rising as I almost bark out a laugh. This was taking the piss. Each finger of hers could probably feed a family for three months.

I wait for what feels like forever with the shallowest breathing, tension in my every muscle. If she took very much longer, we would have to go to plan C, which was non-existent, so we were basically screwed. No, don't ask what happened to plan A, and, yes, we've already had a short, costly fight about it.

When she finally moves from the window and slams the 'protective' glass panes into place I suck in a deep breath. We had just enough time. On average, the night shift arrived after the first star was visible in the night sky.  Now there are only the planets haunting us above our heads. When I peak into her room, I see she's moved these black swathes of fabric that block her from the outside, I sigh. I would just have to knock her out while she was awake. Honestly something that was rather exhausting, but right now it looked like we didn't have another choice, I pull my sharp beauty of a dagger, ok it's not that pretty but appreciate its blood value of ten. Yes, it's killed ten people, ok not all mine to claim, but ten and it's basically almost legendary. At least I like to think it is. It's the one thing I can truly claim as mine, and it's been with me ever since that fateful day when we took down those nasty, blue satin, bastards on that useless, stink of a Sapphire roughly two moons ago.

I jam my blade underneath the window and hoist it up. It squeaks in this awful way as if I've disturbed this nest of rats, and I recoil almost falling off my small ledge of stability. Fortunately, she never comes forward and this girl is firmly planted on this thin strip of roughness to live another day. I raise the window just high enough so my small ass can fit in and then gently pull across the black fabric, the room is as dark as a royal dungeon and it takes my eyes a while to adjust. They take in the lush carpet that looks like it killed tens of sheep, the table with a tall mirror and a million mighty fragile but beautifully crafted glass bottles filled with all many of liquids that catch the moon light; the painting of these bright yellow flowers in a curvy jar that must be far more vibrant in the daylight and then the four poster bed. What heaven it must be to sleep in that bed. Unlike an ordinary bed it has a roof of this rich fabric. I can only imagine how many soft tufts of feathers make up those pillows and how much support that mighty mattress must offer her back. Confusion crowds in my brain- there's something missing from her room. I search around until I realise how stupid I've been. Where the fuck is the girl? "Shit." I swear, as I'm taken down by this mass of black that has been standing unnoticeably still in the corner of my vision. She pulls down her curtains with me and I'm immediately surrounded by nothing but blackness. Well this was going just great. She clamps me down under her full weight.

"Who are you? What do you want from us?" Her voice is the strange combination of eloquent letters, a harsh bitterness and the quietest quiver of fear. I would reply, expect I don't know what to say and I'm currently focused on breathing through this suffocating material and all of her weight crushing my lungs, since when were girls this heavy? I feel a sharp point pressing into my bare calf free from under the blanket. "If you don't speak, I'm cutting a clean line down your leg." Oh, oceans above, she was a little dramatic. I cough and sputter until she lifts up the blanket over my head. I find myself staringat  floral wallpaper in front of me. She digs the tip slightly deeper. "Ok," I choke out. "I'll speak, would you just get off my lungs first?" Maybe she's foolish, or I'm incredibly convincing and charming, because she lessens her weight and I throw her off my back. She coughs in shock, and I twist and clamp her arms down. I'm face to face and nose to nose with her. Her soft skin touches my rough calloused and silky garments scratch against my coarse ones. I'm confronted by these pale green eyes, assaulted both parts by innocent and beauty and then the fierceness of her expression with her fire curls. Her small limbs struggle against my muscled and I hold her down with relative ease. "Who on Earth are you?!" Disgust curls her lips.

"Someone you'll wish you never met." I grin. "Now you can make this easy or go down the hard way. I'd recommend the latter seeing as your frail, pale skin probably bruises pretty easily." She spits in my face, giving up trying to fight me off and I roll my eyes. "Why doesn't anyone go down easily these days?" I muse aloud. I kick up my knee into her chin knocking her head backward and I one of my hands shoots to the pocket in my shorts. I feel around in the bottomless pocket for the small but vital foul-smelling cloth to realise that it must have fallen out in the hustle. In the seconds it takes my eyes to dart around the room and locate it, she regains focus and now it's my turn to have my head thrown backwards against the ground. Her hold on me is weaker though this time and more panic has ebbed into her eyes. "Who are you?" she says, her tone still surprisingly strong, but her eyes constantly darting to the door. Well at least something must have gone right tonight; Ash and Stern must have successfully disabled the guards. I slowly inch my hands to towards the cloth just in reaching distance. "I'm Whittle," I reply, and she looks directly into my eyes, I pause my movement. "Whittle?!"

I scoff, "Come on it's not really such a bad name is it?" She almost, almost cracks a grin. But worry keeps lines etched into her face. "What do you want, gems, coins, some of the finest fleece all the way from the mountains of tremulous?"

I shake my head my hand ever progressing towards the piece of cloth. "What then?!" She says her voice exasperated but yet again contrasting with the confusion and deepening fear in her eyes. Whatever fanciful life she must live she must be very used to concealing her emotions. My fingers clamp around the cloth.

"You my dear." I say and thrust the cloth into her face. She moves backward in shock, but soon her limbs go limp and she's falling backwards. I reach forward quickly and stop her head from thumping against the floor. Not for her though, simply because we decided it would be less effort to take out every guard. I send out my bird call, the call of a small fat black bird which lives in almost any congregation of steel bone houses. Shortly the door creeks open and Ash and Stern appear in its entrance. "What took you so long?" Ash asks. "Could have done with some help up here." I mutter and gesture my head downwards towards the knocked out ginger beauty. The worry lines still etched into her forehead even in her slumber. Ash and Stern walk over to help me pick her up. "Help you when you had the easiest job?" Ash scoffs and I glare at her. "We were keeping watch for the other guards anyway." Stern says studying the girl.

"We've got the right person?" I ask.

"None of the other rooms were occupied," Stern muses. "And how many houses do you think are left out there like this one." Ash chimes. I rest my hands under her body, while Ash clamps her hands onto the girl's legs with no regard for the fragile unmarred skin, and Stern cups her head. We hoist her up and carry her downstairs with haste. "I wish all the houses still looked like this." I sigh, most were now either piles of rubble, drawn upon and battered so they were unrecognisable. "You'd rather live on land?" Ash replies surprise raising her eyebrows. I share a conspirator grin with her, "Oh hell no, these legs only know life on the rocking decks. Maybe though, maybe if I'd been born into one of these places or like in the old days, a place where one only had to worry about getting the luxuries others had, would I be able to appreciate and relate to the rest of human race and the enjoyment they gain living on land." Ash shakes her head and smiles wistfully at me. "Sometimes, or should I say, most of the time, Whittle, you say things that make absolutely no sense."

[blue-duster-comics]

Just taking a break from my other project with a monster concept idea for a story idea I call The Plainsmen which takes place in post-apocalyptic Texas roughly 500 years in the future. May add more details tomorrow. 

Known as the Vampire of the Plains the Chupacabra is one of the many strange lifeforms that inhabit the wilds of what was once the state of Texas and beyond. Just like the mythical creature it's named after the Chupacabra feed entirely on blood and bodily fluids. It uses its syringe-like proboscis to siphon blood from its prey by either piercing directly into the victim or a major artery and simply allow the blood to be pumped into its mouth by the panicking victims own heart. It uses its spiny forearms and hooked talons to pin down its prey while it feeds. To keeps their claws nice and sharp they walk on their spiny knuckles, using their claws only for subduing prey and self defense. They'll sharpen their claws by scratching trees and wooden posts. The front half of the Chupacabra's body is covered in chitinous armor that protect it from predator, rivals during mating season and from struggling prey. The chitin is exceptionally strong to the point that it's proof against small caliber firearms. Males(bulls) sport thorny ridges on their backs called cogs, a pair of spines above their compound eyes and brightly colored carapaces that they use to attract mates. The "teeth" of the cog grow longer with age. During the early stages of life a Chupacabra will shed its armor plating as it grows 3-4 times per year. Once it reaches its full adult size it will almost completely stop molting. After molting the soft new carapace will require several hours to fully harden. Collecting the discarded chitin can be a profitable venture since it's greatly valued by craftsmen of all kinds for its protective and ornamental qualities.  Bulls will court females(betties) by proudly showing off their colorful cogs and carapaces and offering them gifts in the form of a container of some kind they'll find in ruins. The larger the container the better his chances of mating are. If the courtship is successful the pair will mate for life. After mating the betty will lay a clutch of 12 eggs and after hatching the parents will take turns hunting for fresh blood to feed their young with. After a successful hunt they will regurgitate the blood into the container the bull presented during their courtship for the young to feed from. As the grubs get older their parents will bring small live animals for them to feed, eventually teaching them to hunt before leaving the nest. Their nesting grounds tend to be found in caves, the hulls of ancient vehicles and ruins and are very protective of their nests. Prospectors and explorers must exercise caution when exploring such places for this reason.    Chupacabra are ambush predators. They'll either sneak up behind their target or will lie in wait amongst foliage, rocks or ruins pounce when prey comes along. While fast in short bursts they can't maintain a prolonged chase and will quickly give up on prey it can't immediately subdue. Besides sight they also track prey through smell using their antennae and special sensory pits beneath their eyes that can sense the electrical pulse from living organisms. They're not picky eaters and will prey upon anything they can overpower, including the occasional human that wander into the wilds alone, unarmed, unprepared and inattentive to their surroundings.  Another trait they share with their mythical namesake is their penchant for preying on livestock. Many a rancher and shepherd have lost goats, sheep, pigs and fowl to the Chupacabra. Baby animals, pets and even small children have fallen prey to these bloodsucking terrors. For this reason many farming communities have bounties on them. One method for preventing loss of life to herd and household is to plant bushels of mint, lavender or rosemary around corrals and homes since Chupacabra can't stand the smell of any of them. Travelers often carry bundles of these plants with them to keep Chupacabra away while they sleep. Besides the bounties on them the only other reason to hunt Chupacabra is their chitin and fur. Their meat is noted as having a greasy texture and a strange metallic taste that persists no matter how it's cooked. Though not a common sight it's not unheard of to see Chupacabra being kept as pets by some people, showing that they can be domesticated or at least tamed. It's advisable not to leave them with smaller pets or young children unsupervised. Prospectors will sometimes use tamed Chupacabra in a similar way ancient miners used canaries when exploring the ruins of military installations, laboratories, missile silos, factories, chemical and power plants, waste disposal sites and hospitals since they can detect radiation, poisonous gas, airborne toxins and biohazards. At least 3 different subspecies of Chupacabra are known to exist. The Mountain Chupacabra, the largest variation reaching the size of grizzly bears, are known to inhabit the Rocky Mountains of the Southwest and northern Mexico. The smallest variety are the cat-sized arboreal Tree Chupacabra; fully covered in chitinous armor and having prehensile tails they inhabit the dense forests of east Texas and the Deep South. And at least one sighting has been confirmed of a fuzzy all white Chupacabra with quills living in the snowy peaks of the Colorado mountains. The origins of these strange creatures point to ancient gene-splicing experiments predating the 2nd American Revolution. The purpose for which appears to be to simply push the limits of gene-splicing technology by combining the DNA from mammals and insects; namely the assassin bug and the giant anteater. After somehow escaping from whatever lab they were created in when the nuclear bombs fell, they've since multiplied in number all over the post-apocalyptic landscape and becoming another part of the strange new environment.