#smy. fuck. if you see this and feel a vicious bloodcurdling hatred towards me i apologize from the bottom of my heart

[uhhhitsme]

ok, so i wasn't going to respond to this post when i originally saw it but i've been summoned now 😭 so sorry op for the essay you're about to receive im about to infodump my unwarranted opinions about agent curt mega all over your original post, please tell me to fuck off and i absolutely will delete it if you want me to.

here's the thing: i never really see the point of describing curt as like this stupid, bumbling idiot before the fall, because it sort of defeats the whole point of his character arc?

his whole Thing after owen's death is that he's battling with insecurity about who he is as a spy, his capabilities as a person, and how he's terrified of not being that same, incredible spy he was before. he used to be confident (way too fucking confident. borderline egotistical), but he had a little bit of a reason to be, at the start. he isn't just a well-known spy, he's specifically painted as once being the greatest spy in the world, and i think that the point of this being a repeated statement by others in the show is less because he was a bad agent who fucked up so much every one knows him for his mistakes, but he was such a good agent that despite working in secret, his triumphs were so incredible it managed to make him infamous within the spy world. he was good enough that he didn't need to be cautious, in his eyes. he was good enough that other agents (like owen), still trusted him when he made stupid decisions for the fun of it, because they knew he could handle it.

the whole point of the beginning, and the repeated hammering in of this idea that he was once well know, the greatest, is that it casts this sort of shadow over the curt he is now---this overly emotional, out of his depth, traumatized and grieving individual that just needs to prove his worth. who isn't anywhere near as cool or as suave as he once was. who isn't confident, and trying desperately to cover up the fact he's lost faith in his own abilities. it's what his character battles with for a good chunk of the show: if i can't be the person i was before, then do i have any value at all?

that's what makes one step ahead so powerful, in a way. because the owen we meet in a1p1 supports curt. trusts his capabilities. sees them as equals, even if he is very uncomfortable with certain aspects of the way curt handles things (*coughs* alcoholism? *coughs*) but in one step ahead, our introduction to the new owen carvour doesn't. he repeatedly hammers in home the idea that he isn't the same person, that they're not the same people, that curt is stupid and foolish and will never be a good spy again, if he ever was. it feeds into his insecurities. is it true? in some aspects, imo. i also very much was on owen's side the first time i watched that clip, and definitely thought he would've won if he hadn't had any lingering love for curt. although i definitely disagree with the idea that owen was significantly better than curt pre-fall---the two of them saw each other as equals. i would trust pre-fall owen's judgement, he doesn't seem like someone who would play up other's abilities for no reason. but that's besides the point. i think a much more interesting way to look at one step ahead rather than from a "who was right who was wrong" perspective, but more of a glimpse of how fucked up their relationship is now, after the fall. to examine how this plot development tears down the perceptions both curt and owen had of each other during the four years they were apart, and how it effects the way they go about the scene that follows. if that isn't too pretentious lol

I was listening to « one step ahead » again and. Jeez. Everything Owen says is true.

Now, I don’t really like Curt Mega (the character of course). The guy - already before the fall - is careless (eats, drinks and throws his food on the job), foolish (hEy leTs tImE oUr dEaThS tO be QuIcKeR WhiLe I pUt mY tImEr tO 3 miNutEs iNsteAd of 4), easily caught (literally the first thing we know about him is that he’s a bad spy. I mean. Come on.) and everyone knows his name (which proves my point even more AND gives me big Spies in Disguise vibes). In a word, he kinda sucks.

« One step ahead, that's how it's always been

No matter what you do

You'll always lose

And I will always win »

And when you think about it. Yeah. He should have won. He could have won. The only reason he lost is because he chose to lose. He chose to reveal himself to Curt (to see the look of horror and despair on his face), he chose to explain his full plan (to savor the horror and despair), he chose to tell him where he was going so Curt would follow (to prolong the sweet blade of vengeance that’s been bleeding him dry for 4 years). Even before his fall, he was one step ahead (with him being in disguise and Curt being caught by the russians) : « Don’t deny, I was the better spy » YES ? This whole song made me forget I was supposed to be rooting for Curt.

And finally, he choses to let Curt kill him. As the DMA, he deflected I don’t know how many shots from Curt and immediately took the gun to shoot back, unfortunately for him, without any more bullets inside. At end the, he chose to just stand there, unarmed, completely vulnerable.

Owen should have won. He just gave up.