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#smth smth life starts to be more bearable and livable when you are not embarrassed by every breath you take HO BOI
dabingusbongus · 3 months
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A trip to the farmers market. Got some ice cream, looked at chickens that I wanted to pick up but knew I shouldn't (and didn't) fed some goats and climbed to the top of the playground structure ( ? it had a tractor built into it idk what to call it.) then slid down the lil slide which was fun! Until I landed my bare legs on the boiling black plastic they had at the bottom of the slide sending me flinging myself into the grass.
The nice part about this moment was that realization that I didn't feel embarrassed. Even though I was a bit of a spectacle for parents and kids alike who where walking around. I even laughed about it while laying in the grass, covering my face with my straw hat. I got up. I stayed, and I sat in the sun for a long time after listening to music/relaxing. It makes me realize I have changed as a person. There was a time where something like that would've left me inconsolable, I would've walked away feeling ashamed. Locking myself up in my room, isolating myself and being utterly humiliated by it all. Granted back then I wouldn't have even thought to go down the slide in the first place because of it being 'childish' for my age.
I'm thankful to have reached this point in my life. I'm so glad I'm still alive to have turned into the person I am now. That I still have so much life to live where I can have moments like this again
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