#smote. smited. smoten

[boogiewoogieweeb]

now I could be wrong. but I think - I have heard it said - that you are fond of matthew mculty???

me? fond? of matthew mcnulty?

credit: @rubysharkruby

british actor matthew mcnulty?

credit: @mmcnultys

he of edward little and lucien grimaud fame?

credit: @nomilkinmyteaplease, @szabadrugas

matthew mcnulty, who looks like he was lovingly hand-crafted in an artisanal small-batch beautiful man store?

credit: @lonnson

matthew mcnulty, with his eyes more enormous than even miette's and his irresistible, extremely kissable mouth?

credit: @rubysharkruby

matthew mcnulty, who is essentially every down bad trait i've ever experienced in my LIFE rolled into one singularly devastating package?

credit: @mmcnultys

THAT matthew mcnulty???

credit: @nomilkinmyteaplease, @mmcnultys

why skip, i have no idea what you're talking about!

[castershellwrites]

Day 1 of EnHoEn Shark Week

Putting the contents of the fic below the cut. No sharks in this one, but I hit Aquariums and "What are you" @enhoenbigbang

Enji Todoroki didn’t want a pet. Everyone knew that. He was a busy hero and barely had time to take care of his family let alone another living thing. But, when Touya brought home a fish he’d won at the summer festival (a festival Enji hadn’t been able to go to because he was working to keep the city safe) he couldn’t exactly say ‘no’.

This was, of course, how Enji wound up getting a twenty gallon aquarium, then reading about goldfish and realizing this was far too small a tank. So the little fish—named Killer or Princess Sparkle Bubblegum depending on which of his two children was asked—was upgraded to a 125 gallon palace. It was a bit large for the current size, but Enji was sure he’d grow into it. The extra space meant room for more plants, which provided more surface area for nitrifying bacteria in addition to the plants’ own nitrogen sequestering potential and …Fine! Enji’d gone down the fish care rabbit hole. He wasn’t just going to let the poor thing die!

In the end, Enji Todoroki became very knowledgeable about fish care and aquaculture entirely against his will. He was, unfortunately, not entirely knowledgeable about fish. It was unusual but not unheard of for fish to change color, so the splotches of red didn’t phase him because they clearly weren’t blood. The fins became longer but they didn’t get torn or ratty looking and he just figured his little fish was growing.

It was years later that the goldfish, which had transformed into a koi fish like creature and moved into the garden pond, along with several other koi to keep it company, finally revealed its true nature. It was a sweltering summer night, ten years precisely since Touya had brought home the fish, and Enji was alone. Rei had been deemed well and left the hospital. The ensuing divorce was amicable. 

Only Fuyumi protested moving to the new estate built for Rei and the children. Shouto had silently packed his bags while staring Enji down. Natsuo chewed him out if he dared show his face while they were packing. Touya had left ‘parting gifts’—fire extinguishing hero support devices—around the house. 

Enji had just been on the receiving end of one and was still shivering. He was glad Touya wasn’t injuring himself training to be a hero and had found his joy in the UA support course … but he would have preferred his son have hobbies less hazardous to his blood pressure.

Which was how he found himself sitting at the edge of his pond, alone with his fish and his thoughts, practicing deep breathing exercises to calm himself down and warm himself up. It worked. 

Then something cold and wet splashed against his bare foot.

Enji yelled and fell backwards off the bench. Something had splashed water on him. He scrambled back up to see a blond man leaning on the edge of his pond. What the hell was a man—a naked man—doing in his koi pond!?

“Who—”

“Finally! I thought you’d never notice me,” the man chirped before slipping underwater and flipping around to haul his entire toro out and spit more water at Enji. Red scales glittered like rubies along the length of the muscular tail, rising up and up to cover the man’s hips and—oh.

Oh!

There was a merman in his koi pond.

“How did you get here?” Enji had no idea if this was some pervert with a quirk or if he somehow had angered the spirits and was about to be smited. Smote? Smoten? Was that even a word?

“You, you big fool.” The man hauled himself entirely out of the pond. “Your son saved me from the baggie. But then you took care of me.”

“Well, fish are more of a responsibility than most children are prepared for.”

“You didn’t have to,” the merman purred.

“I couldn’t let you die.” Enji inched back as the merman—holy shit it was a real merman—slithered towards him. Was he about to be eaten?

“As a merman, I owe you my life. Let me repay you.”

Enji swallowed a yelp as a cold damp hand gripped his ankle. “I-I don’t even know your name!” He stalled for time.

“Call me Hawks. Though I did like your daughter calling me princess.”

“I…” Enji tried to think. What usually happened in stories about yokai? He couldn’t refuse without being rude. But if he accepted the offer it would probably get twisted and held against him.

The merman—Hawks—crawled up his legs and twisted his soaking wet tail around him. “What can I do for you? My hero…”

Enji wanted to say ‘don’t eat me’ but that could get turned against him. “There’s nothing I need…”

“Fine then,” Hawks flicked his tail to smack against the ground, “Is there anything you want? Anything you wish for?”

His damned mouth went ahead of his brain, “Just … a friend. I don’t want to be alone.”

Hawks’ smile was bright as the sun, “Granted. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

[thessalian]

Faerun!Alisaie vs Politics and Cults

After an awful lot of wandering and more than a few dead things

Alisaie: Oh, hey, look - mushroom folks.

Gale: Please let them be friendlier than the last few encounters... Not that I'm not grateful for you taking us into that arcane tower - I learned a great deal - but it wasn't fun. And as for the kuo-toa...

Alisaie: Look, I was not going to tell the fish-people that I was a fucking god, okay?!? That's how you piss off real gods and get smited! Smote? Smoten? None of that actually sounds right.

Shadowheart: Just stick with 'angry gods'. Either way, it's getting ugly.

Gale: Um. Yes. About that. I ... may know a few things about angry gods.

Alisaie: Part of me doesn't want to know.

Wyll: And ... the rest of you?

Alisaie: Is a bard. Do the maths.

Gale: Well ... I may have pissed off Mystra. Just a bit. I had the best of intentions! I promise! Lovers give gifts to their--

Wyll: Hang on. Did you just say lovers?!?

Gale: I ... I have game. What can I say? But I decided to do something big and impressive and there's a bit of the tainted Weave in me and that's why I've been asking for magical artefacts, you see - I have to drain them to feed this bit of Weave so it stays in a ball and doesn't erupt and destroy half the landscape but it doesn't seem to be working particularly well anymore.

Alisaie: ...And you waited until we were in the Underdark for this because...?

Gale: Well, if we find an illithid colony, just leave me at the gates with some of that wyvern toxin and run like hell. I can at least do some good as I go out.

Alisaie: .........We. Are. FIXING THIS.

Gale: But--

Alisaie: No. You -- you just shut up. I've got Wyll with that Mizora bitch and Shadowheart getting repeatedly stabbed in the hand by her goddess and Karlach's own body trying to kill her and Astarion's stupid fucking master sending monster hunters after us and now there's this. Fuck's sake, could I just have friends who aren't going to implode?!?

Wyll: Well ... there's Lae'zel...

Alisaie: I haven't found a way to warm up to her yet.

Wyll: What about Halsin?

Alisaie: I am not ready to confront whatever guilt is lurking in there. I'm just not. I have enough to deal with right now. And I guess it starts with mushroom people. Whole colonies grow down here, looks like. And they say nothing grows underground...

A short chat with mushroom folk later

Alisaie: Welp. The duergar around here are chumps. The raising the dead's a bit of a pisser, though. Thanks for the assist there, Shadowheart.

Shadowheart: Shame I couldn't use it much. All our large friend over here did was raise his own corpses, and I wasn't sure if Turn Undead works on myconid-puppeted undead. Why did we bring this ... individual with us again?

Glut: AVENGE MY CIRCLE.

Alisaie: I am not getting involved in mushroom politics. *yeets Glut into the void*

Eventually, on a boat somewhere

Alisaie: So now I go murder the hell out of another drow. I'm not sure if this is politics or just being Saviour of the Mushroom People.

Other Boat: *cruises up alongside*

Duergar: Why've you got our scout's boat?

Alisaie: Your scout's dead. We're reporting back.

Duergar: True Soul, too. Huh. Handy. C'mon.

After a fair bit of negotiation, while stabbing up a Scrying Eye

Alisaie: So half these duergar want Nele saved and the other half want him dead. And either way we have to get him out, if just to get his head. At least it's not mushroom politics. It's just ... brain-worm cult politics. Fuck my life entirely.

Wyll: Still Saviour of the Mushroom People, though.

Alisaie: As a title, it lacks something. Blade of the Frontiers has way more oomph.

Gale: Look - you not only dug into the ... 'brain-worm cult politics', as you put it, enough to get help in our objective, but you convinced them to pay you for the privilege of helping you. Handsomely, in fact. We need an entirely new title for the nonsense you pull.

Alisaie: Just remind me not to ask Volo. Sometimes he's ... yeah, no.

Gale: And that's another thing - you may not have got a cure out of what he had in mind, but now you can see through Invisibility spells. You trip into the damnest luck, you know that?

Alisaie: My command performance got interrupted by mind flayers, Gale.

Gale: And they didn't kill you. And they put you in a position to make a lot of money and save the worlds. Plus the wonderful company you now keep.

Alisaie: Well, I got a Shadowheart out of the deal. That makes everything worth it.

Shadowheart: *blush* ...shutup.

Alisaie: I will not. You're adorable when you blush. And I need some nice picture to keep me going through the upcoming ugliness.

And, sure enough

Nele: Ah, good, civilised company! These idiots took too long to get me out; kill them for me.

Alisaie: Y'know ... I thought this was an awful lot of effort wasted when we could've just let you suffocate and take your head at our leisure, but ... no. No, this works. This gives me the privilege of killing your nasty, unctuous, cruelty-endorsing, worm-infected, gnome-enslaving ass. Bonus points if I lop your head right off your overprivileged shoulders while you're still standing!

Nele: ...wut?

Elder Brithuar: ...Okay, that was worth the extra gold. Let's go, my lads!

Stabnation: *ensues*

And, after an awful lot of running around...

Gale: Alisaie ... not to complain, but...

Alisaie: Yes...?

Gale: We just murdered a metallic abomination at great cost to ourselves. You nearly died doing it.

Alisaie: Well, you're the one who eventually killed the fucking thing, so thanks for that.

Gale: Well, it seemed to be weakest to just being hit with blunt objects and thankfully my staff doesn't melt in heat and-- Anyway! Just thank me by explaining why we're traipsing through lava!

Alisaie: I wanted Karlach to feel at least a little bit at home. Besides, there's a lava elemental she might like to kill.

Karlach: All right! Time to break in this hammer!

Alisaie: Besides, I need to get used to having someone martial on side. If we're hitting that gith'yanki creche, we need to have Lae'zel with us. So I figured I'd start with the more personable melee fighter and work my way up.

Gale: Fair. I'm personally looking forward to travelling with Lae'zel. Maybe she could tell me what life is like in the Astral Plane.

Alisaie: Yeah, because she'd actually tell you shit all--

Karlach: Maybe the people with ice stuff could help me kill the lava monster?

Gale; Alisaie: Oh; right. Sorry.

Gale: *fires Ray of Frost*

Alisaie: *rapid-fires ice arrows*

Stabnation: *ensues some more*

[thewickedkat]

question: did the Aeorians even know they were gonna be god-smitten?

smote? smoten? smited? what's the proper participle of 'to smite'

GET A GODLY BEAT-DOWN FROM A FANTASY EQUIVALENT OF A SHITTY CAPTAIN PLANET

[themoonlitjunkyard]

Munkustrap: Bomba!  Settle something for us, won’t you?

Demeter: (In a warning tone) Munk...

Bombalurina: What would that be?

Munkustrap: Demeter’s beautiful, isn’t she?

Bombalurina: Well of course!  She is a goddess.

Demeter: (Groaning) Not you too, Bomba...

Munkustrap: (Grins) See, I knew it!

Demeter: (Pokes them in the shoulder) And from the heart of Olympus, I stab at you both.

Munkustrap: (Pretends to faint) Gurk...!

Bombalurina: (Dramatically) Oh, no, I’ve been smited! ...Smitten?

Munkustrap: Smote.

Bombalurina: Smoten!

Demeter: (Flustered and laughing, pushing past the two of them) Alright I think it’s past time for a drink.

[theeclecticrainbowwitch]

So, I identify as a Christian Witch, and in a group chat tonight a question was asked; Is Gxd okay with astrology? Two verses were referenced as well, Isaiah 47:13-14 and Jeremiah 10:2. For a lot of Christians these verses are taken as a warning against astrology, but I disagree.

The Isaiah passage is only saying that you can't count on astrology to save you from an act of Gxd, it is literally speaking to the magick users of ancient Babylon who though they were like gods. To put it in today's terms it is saying that even if you believe yourself all powerful, you are not Gxd, and not even the ability to read the future in the stars can't help you if Gxd decides you're being a dick and need to be smited (smote? Smoten?).

And then the Jeremiah verse, it literally says to not be afriad of "special signs in the sky". It is telling the people of Israel that they are not like other nations, they know who controls the sky and do not need to worry or be afriad of things in the sky they don't completely understand.

To me, both these verses say astrology is real, valid, and when in conjunction with Genesis 1:14 which says that God made the stars to be used for "signs, seasons, days, and years." you can see that Gxd put them there for humans to use as signs.

So, I think astrology, like most things, is just a tool. It can be misused, people can become over reliant on it, or it can be used wisely.

And honestly even if you aren't a Christian Witch, or a religious witch at all, I think it's still a good idea to keep in mind that you are a being of free-will, and that even the stars don't have to have a hold on you unless you let them.

[askaquaries]

OKAY but Aradia consider this. Using your time powers to freeze ur dumb boyfriend slash matesprit slash whatever in place while you plant smooches all over his dumb face and then just VOIP out like it never happened. Preferably while he is on a rant, so he can just CONTINUE MID RANT WITH LIPSTICK STAINS ALL OVER HIS FACE. It'd be hilarious, right? Fluster the nerd!

CA: so youre tellin me these are the casualties from the last wwar youvve been wworkin on for wweeks

CA: they dont seem so bad

CA: OH YOUVVE GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME

CA: wwhat the fuck wwere these clods thinkin i specifically said to tone dowwn the civvilian casualties this time around or theyd get smited

CA: smoten

CA: smoted

CA: noww i gotta fuckin smite em ara this is just great

AA: great freeze frame, right?

AA: (to be continued!)

[triangularus]

@ofgoodconscience

    “HELLO MORTAL. I HAVE GRACED YOU WITH MY PRESENCE. KNEEL OR BE SMOTE. SMOTEN? SMITED? Ah, who am I kidding, WHAT’S UP, JEAN-LUC, IT’S YOUR PAL, BILL CIPHER.”

[memejail]

Worm oh

You wanna get a smiting? You wanna get smote? Smoten?

[crent-trimm]

How did they explain Cas’s presence at that hospital?

How did they just let Sam walk out and leave behind a nearly catatonic, entirely different man in his place.

Also how did Meg get that job?? Did they not do any kind of background check and find that Meg Masters was a blonde college student who disappeared seven years earlier?? I know they were short staffed because all their demon employees got smited (smote? Smoten?) but do a google search or something!

[jujywrites]

Idol (Promptember 2015)

 This fic was the first time a used a prompt from @otpprompts to write about a non-otp. I still haven’t been smited (smote? smoten?) for it, so I guess i’m in the clear :B

Fandom: Kill la Kill

Pairing: One-sided (so far) Nonon x Satsuki

Prompt: (from @otpprompts) Imagine Person A of your OTP singing along to their favorite song with their headphones in. Person B has never talked to Person A before but taps them on the shoulder and tells them they have a lovely singing voice. Bonus if Person A didn’t realize they were singing aloud.

AO3

FF.net

or keep reading

No, no, no… Ah!

Finding the song she wanted, Nonon stopped shuffling her iPod.

“Unravel”, how I adore you…

Halfway through, someone tapped her on the shoulder.

“What?” she snapped, yanking out her earbuds. “Nobody interrupts me wh–”

She choked on her words when she saw who was standing there.

“K-K-Kiryuin-san!”

She’s talking to me she never talks to anyone why is she talking to me?!

Satsuki Kiryuin gave a small nod. “Jakuzure-san, correct?”

“Yes…?” She fought down the irrational urge to salute.

“You have a beautiful voice.”

Whaaaaaaaaa– “Th-th-th-thank y–”

Satsuki walked on. “My sister and I are entering the music contest later this month. We could certainly use talent such as yours.”

Only when Satsuki was out of sight did Nonon speak.

“I was singing?”

She buried her face in her hands with a groan.

***

“Inumuta!”

Her roommate looked up from his laptop only when Nonon slammed her hands onto the table.

“You’ll never guess who spoke to me today.”

“Was it by any chance the person who stole your heart all those months ago–”

“Satsuki-sama spoke to me!”

“–despite the fact that you’ve never gotten closer than twenty yards?”

“And she touched my shoulder. And I shouted at her but I didn’t know who it was…”

“It’s a wonder you survived the encounter.”

“It was like looking at the sun,” she whispered, hand on her chest. “Inumuta.” She snatched him by the collar; he didn’t blink. “She said I have a beautiful voice. Tell me what I’m supposed to do! How do I react to the highest compliment I could wish for, from a goddess, no less?”

“About how you’re reacting,” he said, adjusting his collar as she let go of him in favor of more rhapsodizing.

“She wants me to sing with her. I’m going to do it. I can only hope I’ll live up to her expectations. Please, Satsuki-sama, let me down gently. Don’t be cruel! Just to share the stage with you is a dream come true!”

“I feel it would be much more effective if you told her all this instead of me.”

“No, no, Inumuta, she spoke to me. I couldn’t say a thing in the face of such glory.”

“Perhaps you’ve missed your calling. I’m sure drama club would welcome your presence.”

“Your sarcasm doesn’t affect me this time. I have been anointed! Nothing can touch me!”

And with that she collapsed into a chair.

“Oh my god she touched me. I can’t sing when she’s there, I’ll be too nervous. I’ll sound horrible…!”

Inumuta sighed gently. “Listen. She spoke to you, and touched you, and you didn’t die. So anything that happens after that is insignificant. Right? You can handle it. And your voice is nice, from what little I’ve heard.”

He returned to his laptop, missing her smile.

“You do have useful things to say occasionally,” she said.

“I try to make an effort now and then.”

“So you’re coming with me when I talk to her tomorrow. For moral support. Roommate’s duty.”

“You had to bring up duty…”

“I won’t bother you while you play Skyrim for a week.”

“…Fine. Tomorrow, then.”

They shook on it.

[nymphadoratheauror]

whats up nerds im turning 24 in 5 mins and god still hasnt smitten me

[rovermcfly]

Thanks for the post about the German dub!! I'm always really interested in how dubs change things. How did the German dub do the part where Maui says "I will smite you...you wanna get smote? Smoten?" I'm curious cause I think it's only English that has the weird conjugation.

Oh thank you! I’m glad there are more people curious about these things like me!Oh man I totally forgot to add that. The german solution was.. interesting. “oder ich mach Mousse aus dir! Soll ich dich ver-moussen? zer-moussen? zu-moussen?” I’ll add a longer comment to my list! 

[rm-multi-fandom-fanfiction]

By: NRGburst

"I am a demigod, okay? Stop that! I will smite you! You want to get...smote? Smoten?" (Reinterpreting the Death myth of Maui)