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hecoxthirst · 9 months ago

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Title: Ivy and forget-me-nots

For @lilac-hecox

Rating: General audiences

Tags: Alternative universe, soulmates, tattoos/birthmarks, angst, fluff, happy ending, fan art.

Summary: Everyone in the world is born with a little bud drawn on their inner wrist, that changes over time. This is the story of Ian and Anthony's relationship told through those changes.

Read on AO3

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Everyone in the world is born with a little bud drawn on their inner wrist.

♡ ♡ ♡

♡ ♡ ♡

It looks like a tattoo, but it’s more like a birthmark, and it changes over time. The style of it and even what real life plant it resembles is not the same for everyone.

When Ian first meets Anthony, he’s just a kid. He hasn’t put much thought into his mark, yet. He knows it will start to change when he meets his soulmate. He is excited to notice the first changes after only knowing him for a few weeks.

He can’t stop looking at it. From the base of his wrist, long thin stems have begun to grow. Small buds open up over time, revealing tiny, pale blue flowers.

“Looks like forget-me-nots.” His mother casually comments. He blushes and pulls down his sleeve, like any prepubescent kid would do when confronted about their crush.

Ian feels lucky to feel such a strong bond with his soulmate already. And they met so young too! This is great. It means they’ll get to spend the rest of their lives, the majority of their lives, together. Some aren’t as lucky and only get to see their mark bloom much later in life, spending their young years wondering if their soulmate is actually out there somewhere.

He has no doubt it’s Anthony.

Twisting vines have started to sprout from his wrist, and the first leaves appeared when Ian agreed to stay overnight so they can work on Anthony’s website.

Anthony always dreamed about meeting his soulmate in the most romantic circumstances possible. He had a whole romance movie in his head. He didn’t expect his mark to start growing after spending a day drawing swirly poops with flies around them, but he can’t be mad about it.

Something about Ian immediately caught his attention. It’s the way he laughs so easily at his jokes, and the way he’s so effortlessly funny, making Anthony laugh too. Plus, he’s really cute, which is a nice bonus.

Anthony knows soulmates can have complicated relationships, but he knows it’s even worse when people ‘settle’ for someone who isn’t their soulmate.

His mother never found hers. She married once, but it wasn’t the one. Things worked out in the end for their family, sure, but Anthony still can’t help but think that there’s gotta be someone out there who would be the perfect fit. He can’t help himself, he’s a romantic.

This is why he’s beyond excited to get to spend every second of every day with Ian. They are inseparable. Their respective parents already talk about how they make a cute couple, they have also become acquainted with each other knowing they will be in-laws eventually.

And Anthony believes this too. He is too young to do anything now, but he can’t wait to be old enough to propose.

Despite this, they don’t do anything explicitly romantic besides holding hands. Their bond is so strong. They are destined to be together, there’s no need to rush things.

Still, Anthony’s feelings grow stronger every day, just like the ivy climbing up his arm.

It’s hard to know if Ian feels the same, sometimes. But Anthony can’t doubt their love. He has to believe.

Finding your soulmate this young is actually pretty rare.

Soon, most people just kinda know they found the one. It’s easy to tell, just looking at their marks. Not everyone knows they are each other’s soulmates, but most people who know them do.

They have their first kiss when they are fifteen.

Neither of them had the chance to date other people, so neither of them has experience with this stuff. Anthony asks Ian out on their first ‘official’ date - yes, Ian, it’s different than just hanging out! It’s- it’s just different, trust me.

They fumble awkwardly, bumping noses and not knowing what to do with their hands, but after a brief moment they both burst into giggles.

“Oh.”

“See, I told you it would be different.”

“Can we, uh…”

“Do it again?”

“Yeah.”

Anthony’s smile couldn’t be brighter. If he smiled any harder than this it would hurt. He cups Ian’s face this time, making sure to measure the distance so they won’t bump into each other or press too hard this time. He connects their lips softly, and he feels Ian tremble slightly.

This is the happiest he’s ever been.

♡ ♡ ♡

As years pass, their marks don’t change much, but they stay just as luxuriant. Ian’s with his pretty blue flowers and Anthony with his lush green leaves.

Life moves along, Smosh becomes something bigger than they had ever imagined, so much that it feels like a lot to handle on their own. So when a company approaches them with the idea of buying it from them, it sounds really appealing.

It’s great at first. They have a bigger budget than they have ever had, the production quality of their videos skyrockets, but… over time, it becomes clear that something’s not right.

There’s this fragile equilibrium. It’s a pendulum swinging, it’s a glass set on the edge of a counter, it’s a sword hanging over both of their heads.

As Anthony grows angrier and more resentful, the ivy on his skin turns into something uglier he can’t even recognize.

On Ian’s arm, tiny blue petals begin to fall, crowding around his wrist like a bracelet he can’t take off. One by one they fade, until all that’s left is these sad, dried up stems.

Every time Ian gets a glimpse of the thorny mess on Anthony’s wrist, his stomach churns. He tries as hard as he can to ignore it. There’s already so much going on, they have so many projects. He can’t afford to stop and think too hard about what this means.

He’s heard the stories and he’s seen the movies. It’s never a good sign when someone’s mark changes so much for the worse.

Anthony feels like he’s trapped. Smosh, this beautiful thing they created together, which represents their friendship and their shared sense of humor, is being turned into some kind of creature he doesn’t recognize, something that has a life of its own and he has no control over it anymore. He feels lost and hurt, and it only gets worse when he’s finally brave and broaches the subject to Ian.

Of course Ian won’t leave with him. Look at those withering, dry stems on his arm. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. Anthony knows Ian stopped loving him a while ago.

With Anthony gone, Ian finds himself wearing a lot of long sleeved shirts. He’s tired of people assuming, or even worse, asking about his soulmate. He doesn’t want anyone to see what a sad, pathetic little thing his mark was reduced to.

All flowers fell long ago, and gradually those little stems are bending down, falling over, breaking. Soon, there’s nothing left. It’s like it was never even there. It almost looks like he doesn’t have a mark at all, which in a way is a relief.

♡ ♡ ♡

Years go by, and Ian never really stops missing Anthony, but the pain becomes more dull over time. He convinces himself that he doesn’t need, he doesn’t even want, a soulmate.

That is, until his friend brings it up. He avoids talking about Anthony when he can, but he trusts her enough to mention him, and she asks to see his mark.

He pulls away. He hasn’t shown it to anyone in years. But she’s gentle and he eventually gives in, offering his left arm to her. He can’t look at it. He knows what she will see. He feels her lift up his sleeve. When she says nothing, it bothers him enough to look at her to see her reaction.

She has this little smile on her face.

“What?” He asks, befuddled.

“Are you so sure you’re over him?”

He is confused. Until he sees her eyes dart downwards. He follows them until his own fall on his mark, and… his heart squeezes almost painfully. A small, pale, delicate flower has blossomed again after so long.

“Uh… that’s nothing. It doesn’t mean- I- I can’t.”

He panics, retreating his arm into his lap, hastily covering up his traitorous mark.

He’s been watching Anthony from afar. He can’t bring himself to watch through a single video, but he’s seen what his soulmate has been up to. He finally found his footing as a creator and he’s enjoying his success. Not just that, but he looks happier now. Happy, period.

Ian thinks ‘good for him’, but part of him can’t help but wonder. Is Anthony happier without him? Is he finally completely over him?

Anthony never hid his mark, unlike Ian. But over time it’s become harder to see it clearly, since he decided to hide it with tattoos. Or, at least that’s how Ian interprets it. He’s sure they have a significance or whatever.

Even so, Ian saw people speculate online. He saw the screenshots. He tries to stay away from that stuff, he blocked his name wherever he could so he wouldn’t have to see people’s comments about it, but even so… it’s inescapable. He stared at the green leaves amongst the thorns and the ink. He hadn’t seen a single leaf on Anthony’s skin in years.

He can’t help the little ember of hope burning in his chest. Maybe that’s why his own mark changed. Whatever he used to feel for Anthony was never truly gone, it’s just… it became harder to see what was so good about their relationship when everything else surrounding it was such a complete mess. But now, with distance, both physical and temporal… it’s easier to see it again.

So when his friend suggests he should reach out… it doesn’t feel completely insane to consider.

They meet - on purpose, with the intention of being in each other’s presence - for the first time since Anthony left.

They are not alone, they brought friends so they’ll have some kind of buffer between them. The idea of being alone with him is overwhelming. Ian doesn’t think he could handle it.

But it goes well. It’s a little awkward, but only for the first few minutes. They are both surprised to find it’s so easy to pick things up where they left them back when they could still call each other friends.

♡ ♡ ♡

They have been hanging out semi-regularly on their own for a while now. Ian can’t believe he is about to say this, but nothing has ever felt so right.

He chooses to be brave. If Anthony turns him down, at least he can say he tried.

“This is gonna sound crazy, so bear with me. It’s been on my mind for a while, uh… what if- what if we bought Smosh?”

Before he’s even done talking, Anthony jumps to his feet, unable to contain his excitement.

“Dude, you beat me to it, I was about to say-” he proceeds to go on a rant about everything they could do if they had their old channel back, and it’s clear that he’s put thought into this, it’s not the first time it crosses his mind. Ian can only sit there and listen, and watch him talk animatedly, with fondness blossoming in his heart, and awe painted on his face.

That’s it. There’s the man he fell for, that’s his soulmate he knew. He’s back.

Despite this, he won’t let his hopes up. They can be friends again. It doesn’t mean they are ready to be romantic soulmates again, not so soon, or maybe ever.

They meet at Ian’s house to attempt writing a sketch for the first time in… god, too long. He wonders if they still have it. He hopes so, but he wouldn’t be too shocked if it turns out they’ve changed too much.

They spend hours on this, almost forgetting this is supposed to be work. They are just having so much fun, laughing so hard their sides hurt. It feels like they are little kids again.

By the end, Ian is pretty satisfied with what they created.

Before leaving, Anthony turns to Ian. Ian can’t stop smiling, he’s giddy like he hasn’t been since he was a teen with a crush. To be fair, Anthony isn’t faring much better.

Anthony reaches for Ian’s left arm. Ian rolled up his sleeves without thinking. He is already gulping at the realization that Anthony probably saw his single blue flower, and the thought of what he’ll think about it.

Anthony’s eyes drag along his arm, watching in silent awe. Ian glances down and his eyes widen.

His mark has fully bloomed again over the span of a single afternoon. He hadn’t even noticed, he’s astonished. He knew his mark was sprouting new buds, but he didn’t think they’d all bloom at once so quickly.

“I’ve never seen it like this.” Anthony comments, almost breathless.

“Me neither.”

Anthony smiles at him at the admission. Ian takes one of the hands holding his wrist and turns it over so he can take a look at Anthony’s. He has a feeling, but if he’s wrong he’ll deal with it like an adult.

But whatever he was expecting wasn’t as wonderful as what he actually sees. There’s none of the tangled thorns. In their place, now beautiful ivy sprouts at his wrist and climbs all the way up his arm to his elbow, twisting around his arm.

When Ian glances up, he notices him blushing faintly.

“Yours grew so much in one day too?”

“No…” Anthony chuckles, shyly ducking his head. “It’s been growing for a while, but it’s even more lush after today.”

“Oh.”

He almost can’t believe this. All this time he thought his hope was unfounded and his feelings weren't reciprocated, at least not in full, but it’s impossible to deny now. The proof is a living, growing thing on Anthony’s skin.

“I’m sorry I interpreted it the wrong way,” Anthony says, once again taking Ian’s hands in his own. “It took me years to understand that it didn’t mean your love was gone, just that your feelings were complicated. Mine were too, I should have known.”

Ian is taken aback by the sincerity, but he gets a hold of himself and shakes his head.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I mean, I looked at yours and I thought it meant you hated me.”

“I could never hate you.” Anthony looks hurt by the mere insinuation, “I was just so angry, because I felt like we were losing control of something that used to be ours, and I needed you to stand by me, and you didn’t. I’m not blaming you, I understand why you couldn’t! But it hurt at the time. And… for a long time, after.”

Anthony squeezes his hands lightly. He can’t believe they are talking about this. He never thought they would talk again at all, let alone have such an earnest and heartfelt conversation. He missed Ian so fucking much, part of him still can’t believe he’s here right now.

“I know that now,” Ian says, “But seeing your ivy turn into that bramble… it was scary. I’m sorry, I’m not trying to say that that part of you is scary, you had a right to be upset–”

Anthony cuts him off, “I get it, it’s okay.” He smiles gently at him, so fondly, Ian almost melts. “Let’s not let our marks speak for us anymore, okay? Let’s use our words.”

Ian smiles back, blushing a bit.

“Yeah… good call.”

He looks away because he can’t stand to hold his gaze, and instead he takes in the beautiful forget-me-nots that now take up a large part of his forearm.

“Man, that’s gonna be hard to hide.” He chuckles. Anthony stays silent, so he looks up and immediately he realizes his mistake. “Not because I want to hide it! I just– sorry. Force of habit. I was hiding it for so long to avoid questions. I, uh…” It’s hard to admit. He feels pathetic, but he knows he’s safe to admit it to Anthony now. “I didn’t want people to pity me.”

Anthony lets go of his hands. Ian begins to panic, but soon he finds he has no reason to because one of Anthony’s hands goes to cup his face instead.

“If you would rather keep it private, I understand. Our bond is none of anyone’s business.”

“What about yours? That looks even harder to hide.”

Anthony shrugs. “I’ll wear long sleeves.”

Ian is so touched. He shakes his head.

“There’s no need to. I’d like people to see it.” He cracks a teasing smile, “You didn’t hide it back then it was at its worst, why hide it now that it’s so gorgeous?”

“If people see it, they’ll know how I feel about you. They’ll know something has changed… they’ll want to know everything, they’ll speculate.”

“Let them.”

Anthony is surprised to hear that. Ian always had this type of attitude, acting unaffected by everything, but he knows that he’s really a private person and this type of thing bothers him.

“Are you sure?”

“Fuck it, man.” Ian laughs. “I got my soulmate back. I don’t give a fuck what strangers on the internet have to say about it.”

Anthony can’t help but let his laughter infect him. Without having to think about it too much, he just does the most natural thing he could do. He kisses his soulmate.

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