#smokin' sid

[smokinsid]

spear is the best thing that's ever happened to sid

you can reach the bad guys

AND hit 'em!

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION MAGAZINE :  JANUARY 1996

Private Eye

Rock ‘N’ Roll All Night & Wrestle Every Day!

Photos by Tom Buchanan

Recently, at New York City’s Electric Lady Studios, some of the brashest head-bangers in heavy metal clashed with a sample of spectacular squared circle superstars to…….make beautiful music together? 

That’s right, Daddy, the best five man tag team in professional wrestling–the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels, Big Daddy Cool Diesel, Bret “Hot Man” Hart, Razor Ramon and the Undertaker (Along with manager Paul Bearer)--clashed with such metal maniacs as Savatage lead singer Jon Oliva, Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian and Pro-Pain bassist Gray Meskil (Who, I might add, are ALL World Wrestling Federation FANATICS) and a host of others to collaborate on “Full Metal: The Album.” an exciting new World Wrestling Federation LP that is soon to be released in Germany.

“Full Metal: The Album” contains two songs by the bashin’-bangin’ ensemble entitled “We’re All Together Now” (which is also being released as a music video) and “Thorn in Your Eye” (An upbeat tune led by Michel B. and Olli S. of the German Crossover Kings, a popular Deutschland rap duo)! In conjunction with those original tunes, “Full Metal: The Album” Also contains 12 theme songs of various Federation Superstars, including Psycho Sid’s “Psycho Dance” and the Smoking Gunns’ “Smokin’”

The album was scheduled to be released in Germany sometime in November, and as of press time negotiations were being held in an effort to make “Full Metal: The Album” available to fans in the United States as well. 

[(Opposite page top) While Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels look on, the Undertaker and Big Daddy Cool get some insights into the mixing board at Electric Lady Studios in New York City. Meanwhile (opposite page bottom) back behind the mike, the Fab Five belt out a tune!

This page: (Top) Bret “Hit Man” Hart raps with Jon Oliva, lead singer of Savatage, while Paul Bearer checks out the microphone for his Undertaker. (Middle) And a one, and a two–with everything in position, the Undertaker prepares to bellow out a few notes, while Tim Mallare, the drummer of Overkill, looks on. (Bottom) Oliva poses with the Fab Five as they wrap up the set!]

[mmoxie]

smokin' sid is BACK

and CRUSTIER than EVER

[anabsolutenightmare]

You Say Sorry.

…Whatever. I'm sick of saying sorry. I love you. You say sorry.”

Inspired by Skins (UK) more on that below the cut. Here is the original text https://www.quotes.net/show-quote/71751

Well, here goes. The "You say sorry" confession. Good omens edition.

Crowley [acidly] What do you want, Aziraphale?

Aziraphale: I want you to stop what you're doing, okay? You know: fucking around, tempting anything that moves. Just stop it!

His heart sinks. He despises the desperate sound of his voice, the lack of confidence that echoes through the air

Crowley: You ssstarted it!

Aziraphale: I don't care, I don't care! You're cruel! I hate you!

Crowley: I hate you right back. Why don't you pop up to heaven and make a difference? [mock surprise] Oh, excuse me, another one!

Aziraphale: [exasperated] Just give it a fucking rest, okay? You know, it's you and me. You know that, and you're being stupid!

Crowley: My turn!

Aziraphale: You went away! Why did you go away? You know, I needed you, and y-you just pissed off! I thought.... I thought we already were an us, but we’re not! You're just messing around like a spoilt demon! Tempting humans and sending out ridiculous orders to earth. You’re lashing out to punish me for fighting for the greater good!!

Crowley [singsong] Heaven, Angel, Heaven!

He brandishes the endearment as a weapon

Aziraphale: “I didn’t choose heaven! I never chose heaven, I love you, but you-” Aziraphale turns away, unable to bear the intensity of Crowley’s gaze any longer. He has to choke back a sob. “God, where were you? The Metatron fucking cornered me. Threatened me. You were just… gone.” [Crowley's guilt begins to show] “I needed you. I mean, Heaven!... I tried to make a difference for all of three days and only made guilty suggestions for the rest. So what? I don't care! I did it. I hate you.”. [turns to leave] “Fine, fuck off to Hell. Whatever. I'm sick of saying sorry. I love you. You say sorry.”

Crowley: [Realising he's talking his new title as the Grand Duke of Hell] “I didn't stay in Hell, Angel. There was a vacancy, and, well, I had to blow off some steam. And my plants wilted with the low light and humidity, even my fern called Azi, ssso I came back to earth.” [Crowley blushes].

Aziraphale and Crowley Kiss

Nina: [Nina walks in] Look, if he's still bothering you, Crow- [seeing them kiss] Oh... okay. Smokin'!

I am in my Tumblr infancy. I mostly only lurk, like, and reblog. I read fanfic on Ao3, but have never considered writing anything. Until I had an idea that rattled around in my head until, after copious amounts of wine, I had to write it down. It's silly.

Do you remember Skins? Were you an angsty adolescent obsessed with the crude humor of the show? Did you sob when Sid confessed his love to Cassie in a way that changed your view of love?

The fic I am writing is more of a narrative style than a script. This just fit better with my original idea, and it's short enough for this post.

I am not sure if it's better to let it stand-alone as just dialogue, or if I should post my full 2.5k fic. Is everyone this nervous the first time they share something with the world? Even shrouded in the anonymity of a username it feels deeply personal.

[why5x5]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't know what Sid and Marty Krofft were smokin', but it must have been some really trippy shit!

[hockeynoses]

My Fic: Masterlist

I have enough fic now that I think it’s a good idea to have them organized in a masterpost. So here’s a list of all my fics under the cut!

---

Generic:

Happy Halloween: A guy wakes up with a bad cold on Halloween.

A man wakes up with a terrible cold, and his wife, who happens to have the fetish, is thrilled.

“Told You So” flu shot ficlet

---

Stranger Things: Steddie

How Do I Get You Alone?  Steve and Eddie go to a wedding. Steve is allergic to the flowers. Eddie is…distracted. After the wedding they escape somewhere private and um…yeah.

My first Sick!Steve fic: Steve is sick. Eddie takes care of him, and somehow gets roped into watching Top Gun.

Steve wearing Eddie’s hoodie when he’s sick. It’s questionable if Eddie’s ever gonna want it back after this.

Anon request:  Steve having a pretty messy cold and Eddie catching his sneezes.

A request for allergic Steve:  Steve, Eddie, and Robin all live together. Robin is cat-sitting for Vickie, and Steve is allergic.

Smokin’ in the Boys’ Room:  A request for Steve with a messy cold + allergies. Steve’s at school with a bad cold. A classmate has some perfume that he’s allergic to, and he has to escape to the bathroom to snz his head off in peace. Turns out, Eddie is skipping class and is already in the stall next to him.

you’re gonna have to ask me: “Okay, Stevie, here’s what we’re gonna do,” Eddie says with a mischievous glint in his eye, “I’m gonna hold the tissues,” he holds the full box up, “and you’re gonna ask me every time you need one.”

‘cause I’m bluffin’ with my muffin:  Steve’s got a really bad cold, but he promised he’d make some muffins for the Hellfire club meeting tomorrow. Things do not go as planned, and Eddie has to convince him to go back to bed.

Sick!Steve & platonic Chrissy - A College AU: Steve and Chrissy have a class together and Steve shows up with a terrible cold.

Sick!Steve - A College AU Part 2: A sequel to the above fic. Steve is sick again. This time he's in class with Eddie, but they don't know each other yet. Eddie has the fetish and it's from his POV.

baby, you burn so hot:  Steve is coming down with the flu, but he’s in denial and is outside working on the house. Eddie has to haul his ass inside and make him stay in bed. (With bonus fever-fucking!)

Dishes: Steve is sick and attempts to do the dishes. H/C fluff!

Calling In: Steve is sick and hopes that he won’t have to call off of work tomorrow. Eddie thinks he’s delusional.

what spring does: It’s been a long winter and spring is finally here. Eddie’s in the house working on music while Steve is out working in the yard. Steve purposefully forgets to take his allergy meds.

fix me up along the line:  Steve is traveling for work and is super sick. He calls Eddie from his hotel room.

and call me in the morning:  A college AU where Steve is sick and in order to get excused from class, he has to get a doctor's note from the university clinic. Eddie is a med student who works at the clinic.

---

Ted Lasso: Roy / Jamie

cold denial ficlet: It’s Roy’s birthday and Jamie isn’t going to let a little cold ruin it.

rain on me: Jamie is sick. He and Roy are cuddled up in bed, and Jamie can't really help himself and accidentally sneezes all over Roy's shirt.

Hot Tub Snzs: Jamie suggests Roy get into the hot tub to clear his sinuses. Roy's hands are wet and Jamie ends up holding the tissues for him.

Served Just the Way You Like: Jamie is sick on game day but thinks he can still play. Roy refuses to let him, but he finds a way he can still be useful – infecting the opposing team with his cold.

somnophilia snz fic: Consensual somnophilia when Jamie has a cold. Includes snzing into the covers. Roy has the kink.

---

Spree:

and baby, baby, you can see me: Kurt is sick and does a chhinkni review for his followers.

---

Hockey RPF:

Brad Marchand: Allergic Interview. Here

Brad/Patrice: Cinnamon Toast Crunch - A fluffy sickfic. Here

Sid/Geno: Sick Assist - Geno is sick and Sid brings him tissues and soup. Here

[kombuchaclock]

A commission for @mmoxie of her Guild Wars 2 asura / sock puppet Vtuber avatar, Smokin’ Sid!

[explosivedarling]

for @spiiitfire who has been putting up with my constant fandom jumping, long hiatuses, general silliness and whatnot since my SH days!!

[comphy-and-cozy]

Just out of curiosity (and no judgment at all!), why are you not comfortable writing for EJ, Nico, Nate, Sid or Tyson?

I am actually glad you asked since I know those guys aren’t part of the ‘usual’ no-go lists. they are 100% out of love!

ej, nate, sid, and tys are kind of like bros to me because they are my bestie's men so I don't really see them like that and I'm just not comfy writing for them for public consumption. I also just don't like the pens so I probably would lean toward not wanting to write for sid anyways.

and nico is like, my son and while I can (incestually) acknowledge that he is smokin' hot, I just can't look at him that way… at least not yet.

I also finally posted this list bc I've got a special surprise coming soon 👀

[issabangtanfic]

[Jungkook] The Windmill House (Chapter 6)

Masterlist

Synopsis: When for once rich doesn’t rhyme with Christian Grey.

Pairing: Jungkook x OC

A/N: Feel free to submit a cover! Tell me what you think in my inbox! Enjoy!

-

I jolt awake after a loud thud, yanking my face off of my pillow. I look around, my vision blurry and dark at first. My door has been slammed open, a familiar ball of energy beaming at me.

“Tadayimaaaaaaa!” She sings. She walks in, but what I her stomping, the sound so loud in my head it feels like she’s wearing boots made of concrete. Groaning, I let my head plop down before she drops her full weight on me.

“Hi, babes!” She squeals, wrapping herself around me, crushing me under her body. Oh god, my head.

“Sidney, please.” I groan, blocking my ears. I hear Juno’s paws scraping the floor and soon enough she’s barging in, barking at me and jumping onto my bed.

“What do you mean 'Sidney, please'? We’re back!” My roommate says, slipping off of me only to start shaking me generically. I’m going to throw up. Juno pokes me with her nose, trying to find a way to lick my face hello.

“My head.” I mutter, flipping onto my back painfully. Juno barks again, and her wet tongue s all over my eyes.

“Juno, stop.” I mutter, grabbing her head and lifting my chin, trying to keep my face out of her reach. Our Labrador is way too excited to see me.

“Juno, lay down.” I hear Sidney order, and the frantic licking a fidgeting stops. At least she’s well-trained. When I open my eyes, Juno is lying next to me, tail wagging happily, tongue hanging out. Such a good girl. I give her a head scratch.

“I thought you’d be happier than that.” Sidney says, pouting at me. My babe is all tanned.

“I’m kind of hungover, and I had a rough week.” I reply, my voice straining. I open my arms for her.

“Gimme a hug.” I invite. She lays down next to me, hugging me and resting her head on my chest.

“I just can’t deal with the screaming.” I murmur. Juno barks and licks a long stripe across my face. Ew.

“Juno!” I scold. She resumes panting, and Sid giggles.

“She can’t help herself.” She says.

“How was France?” I ask her.

“Merveileux!” She exclaims. “Especially the men.”

“Did you practice your French kissing?”  I joke.

“Mais oui oui oui!” She sings. I gasp.

“Did you? You bitch!” I utter. She told me she hadn’t done anything like that! And I believed her! She props herself up on one arm, looking down at me with a face-splitting smile.

“I know, get your arse out of bed I’ve got to tell you all about it.” She encourages. I don’t like that idea.

“10 more minutes.” I beg, hugging my other pillow. Sidney sighs and slips out of my bed.

“You have to tell me why you’re so tired.” She mutters. I close my eyes.

“Mmmmh.”

“Alright, I’ll come back in an hour. Should I make some tea?” She says once she’s at my door.

“That would be lovely, thanks.” I reply. I love that girl.

“Juno, come on!” I hear her call, and feel Juno jump out of my bed. Sidney closes the door of my bedroom and lets me sleep some more. 

By 10 am I am still tired but figure out I really have to get out of bed at least. I drag myself out of my comfy covers and go brush my teeth and freshen up. Once I’m fully awake, I take some time to quickly call my mom. I haven’t talked to her on the phone for a while, and I’m supposed to call her every night but haven’t been able to with the insane week I just had. After that, I right an e-mail to Fred, detailing my encounters with Mr. Jeon and asking to pull out of the projects.

I meet Juno in the living room, and she jumps me again, knowing very well this morning’s reunion wasn’t a real one. It’s not a real one until I’ve given my baby girl tons of kisses.

“Hi, Juno!” I squeal, giving her good scratchies behind her ears. I kiss her forehead and she tries to lick my face.

“Hi baby girl. Hi.” I coo, letting her put her paws on my shoulders and hugging her tightly.  She wags her tail happily.

“I missed you too.” I tell her. Oh, my big baby. She’s always so sweet and loving.

“There’s your tea.” Sidney says, coming out of the kitchen with a cup I her hands. Dog cuddles and tea? See, Sidney’s return is definitely making things better. I need her so much.

“Thank you so much.” I gush, taking the cup from her hands. I follow her to the living room and we both sit down on the couch.

“Juno.” I call, patting the spot behind me. She jumps up on the couch and lays next to me.

“So, how was France? You met someone?” I ask, and She starts telling me all about her two-week long adventure in France.

-

“So, yeah. That’s the tea on France.” She says in conclusion. Wow, I wish I was as daring and spontaneous as her. She really did some crazy stuff back there, and she was by herself. I’m always scared she’ll end up in dangerous situations, but she always comes back from her adventures with a big smile and tons of stories.

“Now I need to hear about your new guy.” She purses her lips as a sign of anticipation. I frown.

“My new guy?”

“The one who sent you all these flowers.” She says, throwing a glance at the two flower bouquets on the kitchen counter. Have I not thrown these away?

“Oh, no.” I roll my eyes.

“Who is he?” She asks.

“A client.” I sigh. “Before you ask, yes he is cute. Hot even. Smokin’ hot.” I add quickly, watching her eyes light up like Christmas.

“He’s most definitely a 10. But he’s a boor.” I inform her. Her shoulders sag and she pouts.

“Is he?”

“The flowers that you see are for the times he had to apologies to me.” I explain, and she frowns at me.

“What did he do?”

“He made advances to me.”

Her eyebrows meet her hairline. She glances at the flowers again.

“And you said no?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why?” She utters, looking horrified.

“Because he knows he’s hot. He’s arrogant, full of himself, and decided we had to have sex because he could tell I find him hot.” I explain to him.

“Ooooooh.” She says in realization, almost going cross-eyed. “I see.”

“At first I didn’t do anything about it because I had to have that contract if I wanted to keep my job. But after yesterday…” I add, peaking her interest. She goes serious.

“What happened?” She asks me. I tell her everything about my encounters with this man, from him making me cry on our first meeting, to him forcefully driving me home, and to his brother assaulting me sexually. By the time I’m done she’s on her knees, one hand on her heart, her jaw almost touching couch.

“Jesus Christ, Maya. That is so messed up.” She breathes, her facial expression one of pure shock.

“I know.” I say, leaning onto her, circling my arms around her waist and resting my head on her thighs. She starts stroking my hair.

“I needed those contracts but I’m sure Fred will back me up if I decide to drop him.”  I tell her, twisting so I’m looking up at her face.

“Well,” She punches the palm of her own hand. “You tell me if we need to beat up anybody. I still have that cricket bat.” She declares. I chuckle.

“Nah. He’s already old news.” I reassure her, leaning onto her and laying my head on her lap.

“Should we go for drinks tonight? It’s Ben’s birthday, remember?” She proposes. Ben is her younger brother, also a childhood friend. He’s turning 23.

“Yes, I was going to propose Zaap.” I retort.

“Olala, how fancy of you.” She hits me with her French accent again. I chuckle.

“Well, it’s a special occasion.” I shrug.

“Alright.” She says, slipping from under me and rising from the couch, letting my head hit the couch.  This is just as comfy.

"I’m taking him for lunch, you wanna come with?” She invites. I snuggle Juno. She’s such a good pillow.

“I won’t be operational before 3.” I mumble, already falling back asleep.

“Okay, fine. You walk Juno, then.” I hear her call from the stairs. I really don’t feel like it, but I don’t want to lay around all day. Another quick nap and Juno will motivate me to get going.

I jolt awake from a dream of a nightmare after what feels like hours. After taking time to wake up and prepare myself a light sack, I throw on some gym clothes and decide to go on a run. That’ll not only make up for my lack of movement throughout the day, but it’ll be a great opportunity to clear my mind. Next Monday will be a fresh start. New clients, new projects, same old Maya.

I receive a call on my way out, and realize it’s Fred when I see the caller’s ID. A sudden fear grips my heart. I have been confident Fred is going to be on my side, but in a small, unused part of my brain a voice echoes, asking ‘but what if he’s not?’. I muster up the courage and take his call.

“I thought you said no work on weekends.” I joke as a greeting.

“I lie. I’m always checking my mails; I just don’t reply.” he retorts dryly. Is he mad? “Did Mr. Jeon seriously do all that?”

“Yes, he did. I can’t work with him anymore.” I reply, trying to sound as composed as I can.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” He says, almost reproachfully.

“Well, we need this contract.” I murmur.

“No, we don’t. And even if we did, you have the right to stop anytime if you fear for your safety.” He retorts. Oh, I love my boss. He makes our company the ultimate safe place.

“It’s in the contracts we make them sign, flower.” He reminds me. Contract? I didn’t make Mr. Jeon sign anything. I didn’t even charge him for the consultations! Fred is going to kill me.

“I know.” I mutter.

“I know I can be harsh sometimes, but I’ll always protect you guys.” He says more softly.

“I know, Fred.”

“I don’t want to scold you. I just feel bad you had to go through this. I’ll talk to that sleazy Mr. Jeon. Consider yourself free of any obligation.” He promises, lifting this heavy weight off of my shoulders.

“Thank you so much, Freddy.” I beam at my phone.

“Don’t call me that.” He snaps. “Try to rest now, Maya. I’ll see you on Monday.”

-

“Cheers!” I exclaim, and Sidney, Ben and I raise our glasses and cling them together. Before going to Zaap, Ben came over for dinner, so we’ve been drinking since then. Sidney and Ben are starting to have the Asian glow, so I decide to start taking pictures before they pass the point of no return.

The Zaap is packed tonight, even for a Saturday night. Thank god, we booked our own table.

“Happy birthday Ben!” Sidney yells in her brother’s ear.

“Happy birthday, baby boy!” I add, wrapping my arms around his neck. Sidney and I sandwich him between us, each of us giving him a loud smooch on one kiss.

“Guys, for god’s sake.” He moans, but he’s smiling. “Enough.”

You would think it’s weird for a 23 year-old to spend his birthday with his sister and her best friend, but Ben moved to London for class three weeks ago, so he doesn’t really have any friends in the city. I’ve known him for two decades now, so this basically a family party.

We chat all night long, unable to hit the dancefloor given how packed it is. Then we get to the gifts, and has his big sisters, you best believe we spoiled our boy. He sees his new phone and his two new watches, and it’s his turn to give us loud smooches.

After several Cosmos, I head to the bathroom for a quick emptying. After pushing my way through the compact crowd, I finally reach the loo, guarded by a security guy.

As I walk in, I nearly bump into the person stumbling out of the Men’s bathroom.

“Oops.” I say in surprise, looking up at him. Mr. Jeon lays his cloudy eyes on me.

[federationforever]

#WWERAW Bowl 🏈 January 1st 1996 Newark, Delaware

The Smokin Gunns Savio Vega & Razor Ramon Sid & The Kid Yokozuna & Owen Hart

#WWF #WorldWestlingFederation #RawBowl #WWE #SuperBowl #Sunday #SomokingGunns #SavioVega #RazorRamon #Yokozuna #OwenHart #123Kid #Sid

[smokinsid]

Late Night People

Summer. 2:15 AM. College of Synergetics, Level 3 – REAPER Lab, Rata Sum.

Enid looked wearily at a crumpled pack of cigarettes, then back at her holo-screen. On her desk, a little girl in a big red hat grinned up at her tired face, looking as bright and proud as the midday sun.

For a few weeks now, her research had been chasing its tail. Relative Extraplanar studies- thrill that they were, giving a scientist cause to go sliding orthogonal to the three-dimensional Tyria into realms unknown- were still a headache, at their core. Was a mortal body meant to move that way, or see those things?

“Yes!” Came a low, sonorous showman’s voice from across the room. The attuned crystal in her radio blinked and pulsed in time with every syllable. “And I’ll tell you what else, my friends- if Balthazar can bite the dust, if Kralkatorrik can kick it- then what is there out there for us to worry about? The Arcane Council keeping secrets, hiding things from us? Well, we know why they do that- the slow dissemination of what they really know is what’s keeping them in their seats, after all.”

Smoke Signals with Sidney Figleaf. Venlin Vale Radio, 103.3 K-R-U-E.

The call letters came to her mind automatically. And that voice- “Smokin’ Sid,” on the radio- was her brother.

They hadn’t talked in a while. Maybe she should call him. It had been a long time since the big blowup, after all- and Rucks had turned out alright so far. Still young enough to come back to college.

“Coming up in the next half-hour, we’ll have open lines here on Smoke Signals. Tune your crystals to 1.333.1033- again that’s 1.333.1033, for the Smoke Signals hotline. Call now and get queued up- the subject tonight? Strange lights in the sky! Stranger than usual, anyway. Have you seen them? Tell us all about it. --And now, a word from our sponsors.”

As a jingle played for Royal Kournan cigars, followed by an ad for Oozeley’s Sure-Fire Detergent, she drummed her fingers on the desk and frowned at the blue-gray little crystal in front of her, mounted in a ring of brass.

“Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

Made from the goo you trust,

Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

For stains, it is a must!”

It was now or never. She grabbed the little brass ring and rotated the pointed crystal within, spinning it like a dial toward the numbers etched into the metal edge. In seconds she was connected, and a pleasant, modulated golem’s voice greeted her.

“You’ve reached the 103.3, K-R-U-E, call-in hotline! Your queue position is currently... SIX. Please hold. Your call will be on the air shortly. Remember to shut down your radio receiver before speaking, to eliminate static and echo. Thank you for calling Venlin Vale Radio.”

Soft jazz rose from the vibrating surface of the crystal, tickling her ear. She set it down on the table and huffed.

She had plenty of time to hang up if she wanted.

“Subject is mysterious lights in the sky- mysteriouser than usual, I should say. Caller number two, you’re on the air.”

Oh, Alchemy. He’s just picking lines at random.

“Am I on the air with Smokin’ Sid?”

“Yes, that’s me. Please turn off your radio, sir, for the feedback. Now, what’s your name, and what do you have to report?”

“Uh, name’s Putt. Work outta Statics.”

“Ah, a fellow Statics, ahem, alum. Wonderful. And what did you see?”

“Well, this was a couple weeks ago, late one night in Brisban- we were listening to the show while we were on stakeout, watching the bandit gangs drift here and there.”

“Ah, sounds like you’re working a security detail. I’d ask you how things are going with the gangs, but let’s focus on the scene overhead.”

“Right, well- me and the fellas like to shoot skeet to kill time,”

“Careful friend, this is radio,”

“Y’know, like clay pigeons, we got some with glow-in-the-dark paint.”

“Ah.”

“And so I was up top of the watchtower, throwing ‘em here and there when I heard the word ‘pull,’ that kind of thing.”

“Putting some lights in the sky yourself, as it were.”

“Mm- so we’ve done a few rounds of this, and I throw another one, and Creidon- big fella, Lionguard, down at ground level, he puts a crossbow bolt through it, sure as sunrise.”

“But...?”

“It got stuck, Sid.”

“In the... clay pigeon?”

“No- well, not as such. It’s like, it punched through the pigeon and hit something else. Something round. Like... shoot, I’m gonna sound crazy.”

“Not on my show, friend.”

“Like a bubble, in the sky. Like someone got a straw under the sky and blew real hard and just... warped it out. The stars looked all stretched and distorted close to the pigeon, got more normal the further out you went.”

“As if the sky itself was... closer, there?”

“Yeah! Damnedest thing I ever saw! Bowed in like the ceiling on a first-floor dorm when the toilet upstairs overflows.”

“Remarkable.”

“The pigeon- and the bolt- just clung to it. And then it sorta... deflated? Just slowly receding until the sky looked normal again. It took both with it! We never got ‘em back.”

“Wow. Not quite what I expected to hear when it comes to lights in the sky, but that certainly is mysterious. Thank you, Putt- the Smoke Signals Research Team will put some time into this one, I’m sure.”

Enid had already taken a few steps away from the crystal, drawing up astronomical charts of the sky over Brisban and running numerous calculations and simulations. A ‘bubble’ in the sky could be any number of things- in her mind, it was some burdensome patch of mist, pushing on the fabric of Tyria. A mistquake? A mist… sinkhole?

“Caller number… six! You’re live on Smoke Signals. Go ahead and turn off your radio, feedback and all that. I need a name, and- what did you see in the sky, lately?”

“…Could’ve been the movement of a human god, they make quite a dent- haven’t heard from Melandru in a minute, have they?”

“Caller number six? Are you there? –Do turn off your radio, please and thank you, for the feedback, then start with a name.”

“Of course, if it isn’t the movement of a god… can we rule out dragons now? Are they done?” She poked at the holo-screen and flipped through archive files.

“��Enid?”

Enid let out a horrible gasp and slapped her radio, then spun away from the screen and rounded on the crystal.

“—Am I on the air? Shoot, I missed it!”

“No, no, you didn’t miss it. Bit of a rocky start, but I’m feeling generous tonight. Now, ah… name, as I said, and, what exactly did you see?”

“Oh, I’m… Enid. I work here on the third level of Synergetics, and…”

“Enid! I knew it was you! Distinguished listeners, we’re hearing live, the voice of my dear sister. It’s been ages. I’m surprised to hear you saw something ‘weird,’ Nid- you always had a pretty high bar.”

In his smoky studio, Sid was secretly reeling. He leaned away from the microphone and pat a box of Shadhavar Wides against his palm to pack them, then fumbled for a little silver lighter. The etching of a bikini-clad human winked up at him as he struck the wheel and took a long, steadying drag.

“Well… hm. What your first caller said caught my attention, so I was in the middle of researching that.

“The- the Brisban case, with Putt? You jumped on it that quick?”

“While I was on hold.”

“Wow. But, ah… do you have your own sighting to report? Something for the audience to chew on?”

Enid tapped her bottom lip and huffed.

“Well, I don’t want anyone to think too much of this, but I have seen something. About three weeks ago. I was up north- in Grothmar, the Charr territory?”

“Beautiful weather up there. Even the storms are nice.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I was studying post-Kralkatorrik brand radiation- the corruption is persistent, you see, and when you have a steady source like a dragon, that’s to be expected. Without it, the flow should ebb and the radiation should begin to decay. But I think that due to the crystalline structure of the corrupted materials, the magic is finding these facets to bounce around on, conserving angular momentum and-“

“Nid, I love ya, but this is dead air. Lights? Sky? We getting there?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. Right. Sid and Sid’s audience. Lowest common denominator.

“It was a symmetrical cymatic response- that is to say, we used our instruments to mess with the cluster of corrupted material on the ground, and were able to have a second team in the mists check their location with identical instruments. We’d make a tone, they’d detect a tone.”

“More of a sound in the sky, but I’m with ya so far. So this krewe, on the other side of the veil, so to speak, they could hear the sound you were making, and… what?”

“Well, that’s the revolutionary thing, Sid. It’s the first time we’ve been able to accurately, linearly map the coordinates of a location in the mists, as it relates to a location in Tyria! By measuring the offset between the two, we were able to calculate that the mists themselves are at an orthogonal angle to standard Tyria- our North is their West!”

“…Fascinating. And the implications are… staggering, I’m sure.”

Her expression flattened and she ran a hand across her face. Lights. In the sky. Right. Let’s get to that before he moves on.

“So this relates to Putt’s bubble, you see. The fact that it welled up at all, how it moved, where it came from- to your listeners’ great satisfaction, we did see lights in the sky that we couldn’t explain. Not a bubble, no- but I theorize we saw the shear between Tyria and the mists. Sending such a direct signal from one to the other had an effect on the boundary between realms… and somebody, we speculate, didn’t appreciate that.”

“Oh. Oh! Hey, that’s juicy, you should have started with that! No flair for the dramatic, this one. So let’s get into that, specifically- what did you see, that gave ya cause to speculate that?”

“At first we thought that we’d kicked up a storm. Cloud-to-cloud lightning, and lots of it. But… I hate to hand it to the humans, especially after the Balthazar thing, but they might be onto something with some of their gods.”

“You saw one?”

“We saw a hand. Specifically, the underside of one. Curling fingers, drawing across the realm-shear, constructed out of lightning. It was vague at first, but as the digits moved, there was no mistaking it.”

“Wild stuff, sis. I wanna take a shot in the dark here, because I know you- I know there’s more at play here than just you seeing something. Did your krewe in the mists see something too?”

“That’s the kicker. They saw the other side of the hand. They thought they were having tech issues, an overloaded crystal somewhere, until screens started blowing out and lightning started leaping everywhere. Had to evacuate their work camp while huge knuckles made of static discharge just sort of… raked through their whole shop, destroying anything they couldn’t carry out. Made a circular motion, seemed to… stir up the mists? Maybe… froth them back up, after we’d thinned them out?”

“Holy crap. Now that’s the kind of mystery I’m talkin’ about! The nature of the human gods, or whatever they are! Why would it do that? Does this mean that gods are making other lights in the sky? Did a god blow Putt’s bubble? We gotta get some humans on the line- they got experts, right? Like, uh… religious… scholars?”

“Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?”

“Nid, be nice. We take all kinds here on Smoke Signals. –Speaking of which, our next caller’s been on the line quite some time, waiting for their chance. Boy, but this was a doozy. I’m gonna run a golem down to your lab with my personal number. Maybe the Smoke Signals research team can lend a hand with this, huh? –‘Til next time, though, goodnight!”

“…Yeah, see ya around, Sid.”

“Thank you for calling 103.3, K-R-U-E, Venlin Vale Radio!” A familiar automated voice chimed.  “You have been disconnected! Please wait five minutes before placing another call!”

And then the line went quiet, the crystal dark.

She turned on her radio and returned to the holo-screen.

“—aller number one, you’ve been awfully patient, you must have something reeeeeeally important to share! Turn off your radio and give us your name, if you please.”

As the next caller regaled Sid with tales of a “boat” they saw in the sky as they were hiking in Dzalana, Enid immediately tuned out.

Sid… she really didn’t have any reason to want his respect. In fact, he should be treating a professor of her caliber with a little more deference, when you really looked at the situation from the outside in. But here he was, regionally-famous radio host, urging her to get to the ‘good parts’ of her research and shooing her off the air when he thought she’d said enough.

Why did that cut so deep? As nice as it was to talk, it was painfully one-sided.

She knew he had a good mind. An inquisitive and dutiful mind. He’d volunteered to serve in Orr, after all, and was instrumental in reporting troop movements back to Claw Island over secured channels and providing music to those same troops over unsecured channels, using just deft hands and a junky set of equipment he’d cobbled together.

She was finishing her first doctorate at the time, too young for the Priory to deploy her- and too young for the College of Synergetics to let go of her, besides. When the news came back, she really thought of her older brother as a hero. Silly old Sid, a war reporter.

But maybe he was just a nicotine-stained, slimy, self-serving, cabbage-fucking-

She took a deep breath and shook her head. He had given her a lot of airtime to tell a complicated story, and he was sending along a means to talk privately, finally!

But it was the ‘he had given’ part she took painful umbrage with. How is it that he’s always in charge of these things? Effortlessly, as if it’s his right? There was a real mystery. Lights in the sky are easy to explain compared to that.

She continued to grumble as she prodded at the screen. As the pink holographic text started to blur, she looked away and found herself staring at the framed photo of her daughter, grinning up at her with gap teeth and bright eyes.

“He’s repulsive. Rucks, how did he ever get in your head? If you had focused on your studies, you’d be here in the city with me, instead of…”

She couldn’t remember the name. Some backward human fishing village across the sea.

Enid pulled open a drawer and retrieved a bag of hard candy. It was right next to her cigarettes- Skrittmann’s Menthol Silver Slim 120s. She frowned at the half-full softpack and shut the drawer, then popped a thumb-sized cylinder of blue raspberry into her cheek.

The clock struck 3:00 am, and there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open,” she called out. The interlocking hatch doors slid apart, and a golem stumped into the room, carrying a teal holopad in one hand and a book in the other. She met it halfway and it held its hands up in an oddly childlike fashion, offering both at once.

“This must be the private number, and… what’s this, now?”

She took the book and frowned at the cover, reading aloud in a flat, irritated voice:

“Up In Smoke – One Asura’s Journey from Lowlife to High Life, and How You Can Too.”

Alchemy fucking preserve me, it’s signed.

She scowled at the silver paint-pen signature across the dustcover, and flipped to the first page.

To Spokes- it takes balls the size of honeydews to ride a ten-speed through Malchor’s Leap, and you did it every day. I might have quit radio altogether if you hadn’t brought me those letters from Camp Narthex.

“DEDICATION

To the 113th Ground Artillery Regiment- you guys were a real peach to bivouac with. Sorry about the latrine. You’re welcome for the case of Gorepelt Supreme I found- didn’t take us long to get through those bottles, did it?

To Professor Qlatt, Statics Earthworks Division- sorry I kept putting stuff in my nose, man. I got an attention span you could fit in a teaspoon with room to spare, and you sure were patient. I ain’t coming back, but if you want that homework I owe ya, I eventually filled it out.

To Ma & Pa- I just hope you’re glad I figured out something to do.

And to my sister, Enid. You don’t just make them proud, you make me proud, too. It’s a big ask, but keep achieving for the both of us. When I say you’re Council material, it’s the only time in my life I’ve ever not meant it as an insult.”

Enid swallowed, frowned, and pat the golem on the head, sending it clunking off back into the hall.

“Guess I’ll call him,” she exhaled through her teeth.

“Just… maybe tomorrow.”

She set the book face-down on her workbench and took another deep breath, then turned her eyes back up to the screen.

She’d never admit it, but they both wanted the answer to the same question.

Just what is going on up there, anyway?

[blowflyfag]

Pro Wrestling Illustrated : APRIL 1996

close-up: THE KID

part 1

Transcript Below!!!

Continued teaming with Holly; they scored numerous victories over the Heavenly Bodies … Seconded Ramon for his Wrestlemania XI I-C title match against Jarrett and helped clear the ring of Jarrett and The Roadie after the match, which ended with “Double-J” being disqualified … That started a new feud, with Ramon and The Kid going after Jarrett and Roadie. But in a tag team match on April 24. The Kid reaggravated a neck injury he suffered earlier in the month … Was pinned by The Roadie in one of his earliest return matches … Was pinned by Hakushi at SummerSlam ‘95 … Trouble started brewing during a match between Ramon and Dean Douglas at the September 24 In Your House card … Referee Tim White was hurt and out of position when Ramon had Douglas covered. Kid bounded into the ring and made a three-count for White; Ramon mistakenly thought the ref was counting and broke the cover, then shoved Kid out of the ring. Razor was then rolled up by Douglas for the pin … Ramon threw Kid into the ring again, and the two traded blows … Kid and Ramon shook hands after their match the next night at Raw and agreed to end their feud … It was wishful thinking … Ramon and Kid teamed to wrestle WWF World tag champions The Smokin’ Gunns at In Your House IV … They wrestled like rulebreakers and would have won had Ramon covered Billy Gunn after executing his “Razor’s Edge” … Ramon and Kid split after Kid refereed Ramon and Sid Vicious match on October 23. He pulled Sid out of Ramon’s “Razor Edge,” then made a fast three-count on Ramon, accepted some cash from Ted DiBiase, and left the ring … Took on DiBiase as his manager and is now a full-blown rulebreaker who’s no longer the fan’s favorite underdog … Look for him to team with Sid regularly in the near future.

TOUGHEST OPPONENT Owen Hart. They have met on several occasions, and Kid has yet to score a clean victory. The most heartbreaking defeat came at the 1994 King of the Ring tournament, when an injured Kid lost to Hart in the semifinals. Earlier in the night, he had been piledrived three times by Jeff Jarrett. Kid had several chances to win the exciting semifinal match, but he finally succumbed to a “sharpshooter” at 3:36. MOST HATED OPPONENT Shawn Michaels. They've certainly had their differences over the years. Several years ago, Kid lost to Michaels on Monday Night Raw, and Michaels punctuated the win by twice power-bombing Kid. Razor Ramon came to his rescue. Though Kid is now a rulebreaker and Michaels a fan favorite, they still have their differences, probably because Michaels and The Kid are so alike. They have huge egos and use similar styles. 

FAVORITE MOVE

Reverse spinning kick. Ask Kid to name his favorite move and he’ll give you a long list. He has a lot of them in his repertoire. He loves climbing to the top rope and leaping at an opponent. But he seems to rely most upon a spinning kick that has incredible impact. Victims often wonder. How can a man so small execute a move that hurts so much and comes at you so quickly?

GREATEST MATCH

vs. Sabu, April 17,1993. The Kid had just made his first WWF appearance in the WWF, and he hadn’t impressed many people with a loss to Louie Spicolli. But they should have seen his match against Sabu on an independent card in Minnesota. It was an aerial spectacle in which both men looked like they were trying to destroy each other. After a few minutes, Kid had been bloodied. He won by DQ. When the bout was over, he knew he was ready for the WWF

[mmoxie]

FINALLY

A WORSE HAT

[smollandtoll]

HC: Open relationships are complicated when someone gets pregnant (OT3)

We like OT3 mostly because we can’t bear to just erase Nikita, also because Anna is smokin hot and we Get It. Even fic Geno would be so sad about it. We theorize a lot about THE PERFECT FIC where Sid and Geno’s relationship is always kind of wobbly and open because like We aren’t gay really so much as chronically monogamous and into each other and It would be career suicide to lock it down openly, and I’m so glad we’re on the same page.

(We fully acknowledge that it probably wouldn’t actually be career suicide now (...probably) but like back when they were little penguin babies before the days of You Can Play, it was; and those things are hard to unlearn or let go of)

So, anyway, Geno hangs out with Anna over the summers/they’ve been friends for a few years and when he goes back to Russia the open nebulous thing with Sid is really easy because they just have their separate lives and come back together in the season and everything is great.

Except Anna comes back with him to visit one fall and pregnancy just happens accidentally as it does (and did ...probably). There’s no real reason to panic, everyone is an adult with a (really well paying) job and time and money to spare. Most of all Anna and Geno sit down and both WANT that baby and that life together.

So Anna knows all about the on again off again relationship G has with Sid, because we firmly believe they are actually very good friends and have a healthy communicative relationship. So she definitely secretly thinks the two of them together are super hot.

Sid unfortunately does not speak Russian and doesn’t get 100% of this open communication so consequently gets all weird and irrationally jealous because Geno brings Anna to the states and sets her up in his house and goes to her doctors appointments, and talks about getting married because she needs a visa to stay in the states and being married makes hers a condition of his and it's ‘the right thing to do’, ‘babies parents should be married’ and he loves her he truly does etc etc.

But there is DEFINITELY some translation issues because Geno is probably too busy swinging wildly between OVERJOYED and TERRIFIED to explain (to both of them) that he fully expects Sid to co-parent with them.

Of course to make matters worse Anna is SUPER intimidated by Sid - he and Geno have so much history? And have this working relationship that she can never fully understand? - so her natural reaction to that is to act cool and collected and ABOVE IT ALL. In reality of course she's terrified.

She doesn't understand anything in this new backwards country and she can't even eat what she wants any more and Geno spends like 70% of his time with the most beautiful and talented and sweet man who shares his deep and unrivalled love for hockey so she is quietly freaking out.

Sid is freaking out quietly because Geno went and found everything that Sid Is Not and is now talking about putting a ring on it and he's like "Okay I guess I'm just yesterday's trash, that's cool, I always knew that, I guess my trophies will keep me warm." He probably gets VIGOROUSLY CANADIAN for a bit trying to comfort himself.

TL;DR: Everyone is quietly freaking out but acting like everything is Chill™.

Geno is the only one who is genuinely happy, if not puzzled. He keeps like trying to set up dinner dates and trying to getting the dating game going between them all and being confused about why Sid and Anna barely talk to each other when he's not in their immediate vicinity.

He knows that they'll end up best friends who gang up on him about everything. It’s so obviously to him that their personalities will be a good match and like they'll like each other and be scorching hot together ...and like throw a baby in there for them all to adore???

ENDLESS BLISS AHEAD the blinking exit ramp signs say, but for some reason he can't get anyone to take the exit with him.

It's only getting more complicated by the month, because Anna is getting like super visibly pregnant, and everyone knows she's staying with him indefinitely, and the word is spreading and pretty soon the media is going to catch on to what’s happening and by then keeping Sid on the same page is going to get slippery and awful.

He’s already just starting to get more and more intentionally distant, gracefully excusing himself and offering to babysit other teammates kids and having dinner at Mario's instead of with them and such. He's doing the Jon Snow Right Thing™ and manfully bowing out.

Leaving voicemails like : ...Sorry everything is really piling up. The season, eh? But you seem happy!! Keep it up, I’m so pleased for you, G!

Geno starting to really have had enough of it just like GET YOUR LUDICROUSLY PERFECT BUTT BACK HERE I WANNA SEE ANNA'S TEETH MARKS IN IT YESTERDAY.

Meanwhile Sid whenever even remotely cornered rambles like, I'll give you the best best-man speech, I promise, G. I'm really happy for you *FEELS HEART TEARING IN TWO WHILE SAYING IT*

Is silently pining Sid a thing for us? It is definitely a thing for us.

Anna gets on board with team OT3 with Geno first because she's the smart one obviously. Maybe Geno gets home drunk post-win one day and they’re on a couch with Geno’s head in her lap and he can hide his face in her belly and haltingly explain what he’s kind of been thinking. And once it starts making sense, some of the insecurities about Sid can start to dissolve. Also pregnancy has lowered her already fairly low threshold for dealing with Hockey-Player-flavoured Bullshit - she definitely knows she can only put up with Geno’s moods for so long, and him being so mopey about Sid is only making him even more annoying. She’s really starting to see the appeal of having another person she can tag off with, because Zhenya in a mood is a 6′4+ snappish thundercloud.

Anna: He's been dealing with your drama for a decade, Zhenya, we need him so my pregnant hormones don't force me to murder you. So, how are we gonna do this?

The only solution is basically one step short of tying Sid to a chair and forcibly explain the joys of polyamory to him. But like, you have to ease into things like that if you’re a normal person who wants a successful relationship (Anna). So she gets on board with them all mutually dating, and they start inviting Sid over to hang more. When Anna thaws Sid definitely starts to thaw as well, feeling like he’s welcome to hang out with them and Anna clearly knows he and Geno used to be a thing - they’re still familiar with each other all the time. Maybe a little more than Sid is strictly always comfortable with, with Anna watching them like that. But like, it seems like they want him around and he still does care a lot and Sid is a Good Friend™. So it continues like that for a few more months.

At some point Anna double checked with G like “...You did tell him he's supposed to be dating us right? It sometimes seems like he's trying to gently let you down?” and Geno replying indignantly with, “HE WOULD NEVER THINK THAT OF COURSE HE KNOWS US THREE ARE ENDGAME.” He somehow has completely lost the plot and didn't realize Sid didn't know he was part of the relationship at all.

We’re fairly certain it boils down to after the baby is born, Anna's like "I desperately need a bath and a nap and I don't trust either of you alone with my baby yet, so you must be together."

Sid: But I'm not-"

Geno: Hey is my baby too!

Anna just like SHUSHES them and hands them that lil teeny baby and then gives them both kisses and leaves.

Sid: I think your wife is actually losing it, she kissed both of us, not just you.

Geno would just turn to him with giant hands full of tiny baby, full of heartbroken confusion “You don't want to be WITH US ANY MORE????”

Then they devolve into whisper shouting to not disturb Anna/Nikita

Geno (paraphrased): OF COURSE SHE KISSED YOU. YOU ARE PART OF THIS FAMILY. YOU HELPED US MAKE THIS NURSERY SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU STILL HAVE A DRAWER OF CLOTHES, I WAS GONNA ASK YOU TO MOVE IN PERMANENTLY TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU TO BE WITH NIKITA MORE OFTEN.

So then Sid realizes he’s actually been completely enwrapped into their relationship for months. Like none of the other guys even think its weird any more that he and G ride to and from the rink together. He hasn’t seen the inside of his own house in weeks. Anna’s moans a fews weeks ago when he was rubbing her feet were pornographic and he wasn’t imagining it that she was disappointed when he pulled away (probably to hide a mild chub).

BONUS:

Also we kind of love the idea that G and Anna are low key high key worried that their beautiful baby boy isn't going to learn English right with just them around and struggle in American school, but also he’ll be American and struggle culturally in Russia. Like they are settled in Pittsburgh and have no immediate plans to leave, their kid is gonna go to kindergarten not speaking proper english and be bullied or something!

Which is ridiculous, but like the kind of absurd thing you think about when you have a squishy jelly bag that relies on you for everything and you are two individuals who cannot master grammar.

So they're like "If Sid isn't there, he's going to end up speaking English badly and STRUGGLE." which is unbearable to think about so they keep Sid around, they tease him, just for his English skills.

[myhockeyworld87]

Sid looks fantastic in his suit! 🔥🔥🔥

He was smokin hot 🥵 that’s for sure! He always is though! 🤗💕🤗💕