#sleepy poop poll

[deez-no-relation]

I have noticed a definite correlation in my own life, and I’m too embarrassed to ask my doctor about it. So I just want to see if other people have experienced this.

Anecdotes or hypotheses welcomed!

[mr-michael-kyle]

So it has been really hard to gauge the vp’s performance during this Afghanistan fiasco. Mainly because she’s been harder to find than a non-binary Taliban leader, which basically means he sleeps with both women and goats.

It is almost like she was kidnapped by aliens! And never those pouring across our southern border.

And truthfully, I’m beginning to miss her. Her gravitas. Her sincerity. Her compassion towards looters and arsonists. But additionally, I actually miss, her soothing laugh.

True, I’ve been going thru cackle withdrawal. However I’ve been making do, with this.

*Cesar Romero as The Joker laughing*

True: we would have more luck finding Cesar Romero at a laundromat in Queens, than finding Kamala anyplace.

Guess that means it is time for: In Search of Kamala Harris.

Welcome to “In search of Kamala Harris.” I am your host Sarah Jessica Parker.

So – while the country endured a week and a half of horrible news, we heard that Kamala went on a trip to Vietnam.  Hmmm…why does that name ring a bell? What occurred over there? Not sure.

However she left faster than the last U.S. helicopter out of Saigon in 1975. She stopped over at Pearl Harbor. Fair enough.

But if she’s curious about military tragedies, there’s one she’s presiding over at the moment. However I suppose it’s fitting: Kamala’s approval rating is also a dive-bombing zero.

Then there was an event that was closed to the press. What happened there? No idea. It was closed to the press. Something I just stated three sentences ago. Sometimes I really wish you had been listening.

Fact is, Harris has been as quiet as Don Lemon after he sees his ratings. She’s been as closed mouth as our president when he loses his chompers.

That is fascinating, for as we once had been informed, she was supposed to be the real commander in chief, not the old coot currently attempting to put Kleenex boxes on his feet and combing his hair with a toilet brush.

As Joe Concha points out in The Hill – a website, not the mound of dirt – she was a “historic consequential figure.” He cites Politico’s headline that mirrored so many others: “Harris has the potential to change the face of U.S. Politics.”

Sorry, this dame couldn’t change the lint filter in your dryer – which is the place they harvest Joe’s hair.

However nonetheless – she was always the anointed one. However now, this big deal has vanished like food left on a tray in a hotel hallway two doors down from Brian Stelter’s room.

DEVINE: KAMALA HARRIS INCHES CLOSER TO 2024 AND DEMS ARE TERRIFIED

Since she took office, she’s not held one solo press conference. And she’s not doing one-on-one interviewers. Wow, what a powerful display of feminism.

And you know Hillary’s sitting at home in her robe drinking a Bud, watching Harris on TV and going “Are you s****ing me!?”

One should not be surprised. That is what happens whenever you’re chosen based solely on intersectionality, not competence.

However the Dems are in a fix. Biden’s numbers are dropping like pigeon poop on a statue, however Kamala Harris’s are worse.

As Concha points out – a recent USA Today poll, has the vice president at 35% approval, 54% disapproval. That’s insane. For a VP just seven months in.

Harris is 19 points underwater. If she sunk any lower she’d qualify for shark week.

And she hasn’t done anything memorable. It is a rare feat to be both invisible and unpopular. Which is perhaps why Kamala’s secret service code name is silent but deadly. She’s the human version of carbon monoxide.

But perhaps it’s a strategy. The more you see of her the worse it will get, so keep her under wraps. It is sort of like Michael Moore in a thong. No….nothing is like Michael Moore in a thong and I apologize for putting that image in your head.

Anyway, it puts the Dems in a pickle. Joe does not seem like a second termer. Actually, the action in Vegas doesn’t have Sleepy Joe making it to Thanksgiving. And if you assume he’s sleepy now, wait ‘til he’s had some turkey.

Biden completing his term? This man can’t even complete his sentences. And when the strategy for your successor is keeping her out of sight – then perhaps you need to rethink that successor.

Unless that is somehow planned. Joe is publicly bad. Kamala is nowhere to be found. Keeping her under wraps as he implodes – that might make sense.

With inflation, crime, covid, spending, and now Afghanistan, perhaps the real strategy is making Joe look so bad, he exits sooner than anticipated. Like a starting pitcher who gives up eight runs in the first inning.

If that’s the Democrats’ plan I’ve got two words for them: mission accomplished. I’ve got two other words for the Dems, however this is a family show.

But after so many bad things taking place this fast, maybe anything different appears good. Including even somebody, you can’t even find. Like Kamala.

The Democrat party is like me in my single days. After eight drinks in and at last call, I’d go home with a panda.

And during that vacation in Singapore. I did.

This article is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the September 1, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”