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#slandering my favs pt.1
ncityavenue · 2 years
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You know they heads bump alot together when they this big...🥱 also Mark's red hat scared me for a sec I thought that was "make America great again" hat😭
BXIWVDHSKWID IDK WHAT THIS IS
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iikatsukii · 2 years
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illicit love pt.2
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synopsis: lo’ak sully is, in fact, in love. 
pairings: lo’ak sully x femhuman!reader
warnings: spider slander. idc idc. slight nudity mentions (its reader bathing pls guys nothing spicy) um minor violence i think, and that’s it, enjoy :) 
word count: 5.1k
a/n: i literally love how this came out. idc this might be my fav series. I'M ALR BRAINING IDEAS FOR PT. 3!!!!
taglist: @neteyamforlife @fanboyluvr @holysaladapricothero @saltedcoffeescotch @cleverzonkwombatsludge @dazecrea
pt. 1
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the sully children were out exploring the forest when spider heard a noise. he stopped walking and tried to listen harder, which only caused the others to stop. 
"what do you hear now monkey boy?" kiri called out to him, laughing at the boy who looked stupid just standing there trying to strain his ears to hear more.
"shut up and listen," he said. his tone caused the others to look at him, confused, but they still listened to him. and then they heard it. the sound of something running. neteyam was able to locate where the noise was coming from. they all looked over the edge of the high ground they were standing on and saw what looked like a human.
"is that a skywalker?" kiri whispered.
"definitely. she looks like spider." lo'ak said, laughing at his own joke.
"okay, you know what? she looks nothing like me, lo'ak! that's like saying all humans look the same. you don't hear me walking around saying all na'vi look the same now, do you?" spider tried to defend himself.
"actually, you used to ask me if neteyam and i were twins all the time when we were younger," the na'vi boy argued.
"we were kids!" spider yelled.
"shhhh," neteyam shushed the two boys who were arguing. he didn't want them to draw your attention to them.
they all pulled out their bows. quietly following the skyperson until neteyam was able to get a good shot. unluckily for him, there was a slight breeze when he released his arrow, causing it to lose its course and end up hitting the tree in front of you. of course, this caught your attention, and as soon as you noticed neteyam's figure standing in the shadows, you booked it again. 
they continued to chase you until lo'ak noticed something. there was a woodsprite tangled in the wire of your exopack. he didn't think anything of it and got ready to fire another arrow when a woodsprite fluttered into his view. 
oh shit… was all lo'ak could think. maybe it's a coincidence. but then there was another woodsprite on his hand and another on his shoulder. lo'ak groaned, putting his arrows down. there's no way it could be eywa protecting you? you're a skywalker, for crying out loud. 
rolling his eyes, lo'ak stood from where he was crouched and looked above himself. only then did he notice the stream of woodsprites flowing from above his head, directly above yours, no matter what tree you dodged or what turns you made. the sprites followed you.
you're meant for him…
now lo'ak was a little bit excited, but he was also conflicted. he was excited because he finally had someone for himself, but he was conflicted because you're human, but regardless you're his, and eywa is telling him to protect you. 
he looked over at kiri, who had her bow aimed at you. he panicked, picking up a small rock and throwing it at her arrowhead so it would knock her arrow in a different direction.  
"lo'ak?!" she yelled at him.
"stop shooting at her!!" he tried to warn her, but neteyam, the mighty warrior, just had to interrupt him. 
"lo'ak you know the rules. we see a skyperson and we kill them on sight. no hesitation," his elder brother said as he released one of his arrows before lo'ak could stop him. finally, one of landing an arrow in your arm; they watched as you stumbled but kept running. most sky people die immediately after they get hit with an arrow, so why are you still running? you were in a clearing now, which meant everyone had a clear shot of you. they noticed you were trying to book it for norm and max's lab, and they weren't about to let that happen. 
spider went to release an arrow before lo'ak used his tail to grab the boy's wrist, his arrow only scratching your calf. "lo'ak what the fuck? i had her!" he complained.
kiri was next to try and fire an arrow, but lo'ak grabbed her elbow and pulled her, causing her to lose balance. her arrow ended up scratching your cheek. she rolled her eyes and looked at her brother, "would you cut it out? mom would kill you if she found out you're defending a skyperson."
neteyam got ready to fire his last arrow. he had one shot, and he couldn't miss, but lo'ak wasn't going to allow his brother to just kill you. 
"quit shooting at her!!!" lo'ak said, messing up neteyam's shot again. he tackled his brother, both of them barreling to the ground. as expected, they started fighting each other, and since you were already out of their sight, kiri just sighed exhaustedly and asked spider to help her separate the two knuckleheads. 
"would you two stop it! lo'ak, i'm telling mom you defended a skyperson–" his sister said as she stuck her tongue out, turning around to walk home, but lo'ak grabbed her elbow again to prevent her from leaving. 
"kiri look at norm and max's shack." lo'ak said, out of breath from defending you from two of the best hunters in the village… and from spider, too, i guess. 
the female na'vi rolled her eyes for like the 10th time today, turning to look at norm and max's shack before her entire expression dropped. spider saw kiri's expression and wanted to know what happened, so he looked as well, and he had just about the same reaction. neteyam was annoyed with his brother, but he still looked at what his siblings were looking at, and what he saw was the last thing he expected. 
woodsprites were covering the entire shack. not an inch was left uncovered. everyone turned back to lo'ak, who was now also covered in woodsprites. neteyam laughed because this reminded him of when his father had told them the story of how something similar to this had happened to him. then it hit them all… this was lo'ak's mate.
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the three sully siblings came tumbling into the tent. lo’ak pulled at kiri and neteyam with all his strength trying to get them away from their home because he knew exactly what they were about to do. 
"lo'ak found his mate!!!" they both screamed, even with half their bodies still out the door.
"no, i did not! do not listen to them!!" lo'ak said, sticking his head through the flap of their home. nobody knows who tripped over who, but it was only a matter of seconds before all three teens tumbled to the floor in a pile of limbs and tails. 
"lo'ak found his mate?!" tuk repeated, excited for her brother. 
"no! i didn't find my mate, tuk. neteyam and kiri are lying. you guys are lying, right?!" lo'ak used a specific tone, trying to get his siblings to understand the hint he was trying to throw their way. 
"yes he did, its a human who is hiding at norm and max's shack. we almost killed her earlier and lo'ak had to mess up all of our shots so we wouldn't. we didn't notice the woodsprites until after." neteyam just explained the situation as if he was talking about going on a casual stroll.
lo'ak had a horrified look on his face, though, because his brother not only told him that there was a skyperson on their planet but that she was his mate. lo'ak knew of his mother's hatred for humans, and he also knew that the only humans that his mother wouldn't kill were max and norm. (and spider on a good day.) you weren't on that list, meaning his mother would likely kill you.
"you bitch, why would you say anything!? mom's gonna kill her, you asshole!!" lo'ak didn't know what came over him, but he swung at his brother harder than he ever had before. neteyam fell back, blood dripping from his nose as he looked back at his brother. he saw the look in his eyes, one of possession, protection, and, most of all, fear. but not for himself. or you. 
jake pulled lo'ak away from neteyam to prevent him from punching his brother again. 
"what are you kids talking about? we know there's a skywalker at norm's shack. he came by earlier and told us. your mother isn't going to kill her, but what do you mean she's your mate." jake's grip on lo'aks arm was a little too tight for comfort, but lo'ak knew better than to struggle against him. it would only end up in jake tightening his grip even more.
"there were woodsprites flowing in between us, and when she got in norms shack, the entire lab was covered in them, and so was i." lo'ak said; there's no point in lying to his father.
there was a hiss in response to lo'ak's answer, and everyone turned to see it was neytiri. 
"i said i would not kill that skydemon, but that was before i found out about this obvious mistake that the great mother is making. i'm going to go kill her. there will be no skydemons mating with my children." she didn't give anyone time to react before grabbing her bow, arrows, and bone knife, leaving the house, and calling for her ikran.
seeing his mother leaving their home with murder in her eyes was terrifying to lo'ak, knowing that his mate was on the other side of that rage. breaking himself from his father's grip, he quickly ran to his ikran, flying back to norm and max's shack as fast as he could, seeing his mother's ikran already there and the door open. he instructs his ikran to land, wasting no time approaching the shack where he heard his mother yelling at the two scientists in their lab. 
"where is she?!" neytiri asked. "no skydemon will be my childs mate!" 
"we already told you, neytiri, she went to find a hot spring so she could bathe herself. we don't know which one she went to, we just gave her a map and she went on her way."
"what of the tracking mask that you said you would give her? did you lie?" she said, pointing her bow at norms neck.
"no! no, i wasn't lying, but we havent finished adding the tracker. we had to make one since neither max nor i need trackers, and she's a female human. they tend to be smaller then male humans so her face didn't fit any of our masks. please don't kill me." norm whimpered that last sentence, cowering away from the angry woman before him. 
lo'ak overheard norm, so he decided instead of making himself known, he would find you first. he knew where every single hot spring nearby was, so he made quick work of checking each and every one. he prayed to eywa that he got to you before his mother did. 
the fastest way to get anywhere in the forest was through the trees, so lo'ak hopped from branch to branch, tree to tree, going around to all the hot springs, looking for you. he had checked the third hot spring, disappointed again when he couldn't find you there either. there was only one other spring left for him to check, and if you weren't there, then that meant his mom got to you before he could. but he didn't want to hope for the worst, so he could only repeat one word over and over in his head as he made his way toward the last hot spring. 
'please, please, pleaseeee.'
as he gets through the branches that bring him above the last hot spring, he can't help but look around frantically. he was worried because he didn't see you, but he noticed what looked like a towel, some very small na'vi clothing, and a bottle of soap. these look like human things, but the na'vi clothing is throwing him off. he didn't need to wait long before getting his answer. there you were, emerging from underwater, your bare back facing lo'ak. the boy couldn't help but blush at the sight of you, but he got so distracted that he lost his balance, falling out of the tree and into the water, scaring the daylights out of you.
"what the hell, who are you!?" you screamed at the huge blue person who was currently standing five feet away from you while you were just trying to bathe. you tried to cover your body from the person? alien? thing? in front of you as he stood to his full height, the spring water trailing down his frame as he looked down at you nervously. 
"i'm so sorry!!! i didn't mean to! i'm not looking! i didn't see anything i swear–" the na'vi boy slapped his hand over his eyes, preventing him from seeing anything you didn't want him to see. 
although startled, you couldn't help but be drawn to the being in front of you. you felt entranced like he had put you under some spell. "can you– sorry, hello?" you called out to get his attention. he peeked between his fingers to see you covering your upper body, your waist was below the deep blue water, and lo'ak couldn't even see below the surface. 
"uh.. hi? my name is lo'ak" the male na'vi sticks his hand out as if he wasn't intruding on your bath right now.
you pushed his hand away from you, keeping one hand on your chest and your waist below the water. "what are you, and how do you know english? why can i understand you? also, can you please get out? i'm trying to bathe here." the blue boy pulled himself out of the hot spring and created some distance between the two of you so your nerves could calm down a little bit. he didn't want you to yell too much because then his mother might be able to find you.
"i already said my name is lo'ak–"
"no! what are you." you clarified your question.
"i'm na'vi– hey, you don't get to come to my planet and ask me questions, okay? i'm asking the questions here. who are you?" lo'ak wasn't really trying to argue with you. if anything, he just wanted to hear you talk more, but most of all,
he just wanted to know your name.
"it doesn't matter. can you at least please just turn around so i can finish? i'll still talk to you because i feel like you're big enough to kill me if i don't, and i don't feel like dying today so just fucking turn around." you bossed him around. nobody ever bossed lo'ak around. 
well… except his dad, and neteyam, and kiri too sometimes– you know what, that's not the point. the point is lo'ak didn't mind how you spoke to him. it mattered that you were speaking to him. he didn't know why eywa made him so lovesick so soon, but obviously, you haven't gotten the memo that the two of you are mates judging by how stand-offish you're acting. nonetheless, lo'ak turns around, sitting with his legs crisscrossed and his back facing you. little did lo'ak know, though, you kept throwing glances over your shoulder, trying to get a look at the 'na'vi' behind you.
"so, can you answer my question now, bossy pants?" 
"you did not just call me that–" you rolled your eyes, continuing to talk to the na'vi. when he created the distance between the two of you, you calmed down a lot, but you were weirded out that he just fell out of the trees and was just sitting here talking to you. you still couldn't deny the pull you felt towards him. you didn't know what force this was, but it attracted you to the na'vi in your presence. 
"well, if you don't tell me your name, then i won't be calling you anything else." lo'ak teased. he liked how natural it felt talking to you. maybe you guys really were made for each other. 
"y/n," you said, not hesitating in your actions. 
“y/n? is that an english word that you have back on your planet?" he asked, playing with the fan lizard that had landed in front of him. 
"what– no, it's my name, idiot." you corrected him. 
"oh. y/n. it sounds funny," lo'ak commented.
"hey! i didn't say you have a funny name, asshole!!"
"wow, you curse a lot," he mentioned, not meaning to offend you.
"well, i'm an angry person now. when you lose six years of your life because some assholes decided to kidnap you, then come talk to me about cursing a lot," you said while reaching for the sage and vanilla body wash that norm gave you.
lo'ak could smell it from where he was sitting. was the smell strong, or was lo'ak's nose just working very well? it honestly didn't matter. all that mattered was that the smell was putting lo'ak in a trance, especially when it starts to mix with your natural scent as you lathered the soap on your body. 
the conversation between the two of you died, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. in fact, you quite liked having this big na'vi man sit here. he was like a big watchdog, protecting you from any dangers this world may have to offer. "lo'ak?" you called out to the boy, liking how his name felt coming from your mouth.
"hm?" he hummed, letting you know he was listening. 
"can you help me get my back, please? i can't reach it." you don't know where the question came from, but that definitely wasn't the question you were going to ask. you startled not only the boy but yourself as well. where was this confidence coming from, and why is it suddenly hitting you? what do you need confidence for right now? you're bathing in a hot spring, in a forest, on a random planet you know nothing about, with a little blue boy guarding your area like his life depended on it. 
you peeked over your shoulder again to see that lo'ak was looking back at you, expression just as flustered as yours. 
"you want me to what?" he breathed heavily. maybe he heard you wrong or something because there's no way you just asked him that. 
"you didn't hear me? i said can you get my back because i can't reach it. what? you never touched a girl before, huh, little blue boy?" you teased him. since when do you tease people!? back on earth, boys worshipped the ground you walked on; duh, you were one of the most famous athletes in the country. but now? you're the one flirting. it's not like you didn't flirt back at home. it's just– you were used to the boys being your size, less intimidating, and a lot less… blue?
"don't go jumping to conclusions now. i just asked you to repeat yourself," the boy said, his hands up in fake surrender. 
"yeah yeah, here," you said, handing him your loofa that norm had given you as he slid back into the water behind you. you could feel his presence towering over you, but you noticed he kept a respectable distance between your bodies. he looked at the loofa strangely but noticed it was already lathered up, so he brought the item to your back and began rubbing in circular motions. 
you hummed in content. the feeling was so relaxing you could fall asleep right here right now. but was it really the feeling of the loofa on your back that was relaxing you, or was it the feeling of security that you felt consuming you as the attractive na'vi boy stood behind you, handling you with so much care that he hadn't even given himself? 
looking at your shoulder where his hands focused, you noticed he had five fingers. 
"hey, you have five fingers like me!" you held your hand up for him to see, and he noticed the little pieces of gold that decorated your fingers.
"what are those gold things sitting on your fingers?" he asked, reaching for one of them. you pulled your hand away and brought it to your chest. "finish washing my back, and then we can talk more. i don't know why i find you so interesting, but i think i wanna keep you" you smiled up at him. you don't know why you're so interested in this na'vi guy. you've never had a boyfriend or crush before because you never had time for boys. you were always focused on your athletics and practice and staying in shape. you never had time for anything. that's why you wanted to experience college so much because it gave you the perfect balance between your sports, your academics, and your social life. obviously, that didn't happen, though. 
lo'ak quickly finished off your back, taking notice of your back dimples.
back dimples are very common amongst na'vi, but he didn't know humans had them too. maybe it was eywa or just lo'ak being stupid, but he took it upon himself to place his thumbs in your back dimples, the rest of his hands resting on your waist.
you started blushing immediately, your face growing hotter and hotter as you processed his hands on your hips. "lo'ak!" you yelled at him, pushing his hands off. your actions snapped the boy out of his trance, and he proceeded to apologize profusely. "i'm sorry!! it's just that na'vi people have back dimples, and i didn't know that skypeople could have them too."
"well, i didn't know aliens could have five fingers, so it looks like we're both pleasantly surprised now, aren't we–"
"i'm not an alien. i'm na'vi. you're the one whos an alien here, y/n." he spoke, poking your side, causing you to laugh as you were ticklish on your sides.
"lo'ak, stop it!!" you laughed, trying to shield your sides from him. "get outt!! i still have to put my clothes on," covering your top half again; you turned to push the blue boy out of your hot spring and back to where he was standing earlier so you could dry yourself and put your new clothes on. 
you felt naked still by the time you finished tying your top over your chest. you sighed, looking down at the 'loincloth' as norm had called it. it wasn't really your style. you made a mental note to make your clothes your own when you returned to the shack. 
lo'ak, though, thought you looked beautiful in traditional na'vi clothing. he knew spider looked stupid wearing it but you...
you were stunning. 
he felt like you had sucked all the air out of his lungs. he was speechless. nobody had ever left him in awe like this. you really were it for him, and this was only the first time he had met you. lo'ak internally groaned, thinking about how he literally has to fight his mother to keep you alive, but he decided to think about that later, wanting to focus on you now. 
you weren't surprised by how calm you were about being taken to a completely different planet. i mean, sure, you were freaking out when you first got here, but now that you've had time to reason, you realize that there's no going home. ever. and if you're being honest, the way you acted when you got here was so out of character for you. usually, you were calm, always allowing things to roll off your back, not allowing them to bother you too much. so if you can't leave, you might as well get comfortable because this is your life now.
honestly, this isn't the first time you've been displaced. your mother abandoned you at a fire station when you were two months old. at least that's what the foster care system told you. and as a child, it seemed like everyone wanted you. you were a young child prodigy. you had a promising future running track, so why wouldn't anyone want to keep you?
that was always the question you would ask when you found yourself dropped back at the foster care agency. 
what didn't anyone want to keep you?
once you finished getting dressed, you told lo'ak he could turn around as you sat on a rock nearby so you could put your jewelry back on. yeah, you bathe with your rings on but not everything else. you put on your necklaces, waist chain, bracelets, and anklet. as lo'ak watched you decorate yourself with all these chains? he couldn't help but admire how they complimented your figure—especially the one on your waist and ankle.
"why do you decorate yourself so much?" lo'ak asked as he looked over the pieces that littered your body. 
"it's called jewelry. everyone on earth wears it. well, if it's your preference, you wear it. i really just like making my own bracelets and matching my rings with them. i try to keep everything else gold so it matches." you explained as you finished linking your anklet. "what is gold?" lo'ak asked, reaching to grab your hand. you let him analyze the rings on your fingers and the bracelets adorning your wrist. "gold is an element on earth mainly used to make jewelry. it's pretty cheap sometimes, but you have to make sure it's not fake because people try to scam you." 
"scam?" 
"yeah, you guys don't have scammers? or like shady people you live with that try to manipulate and steal from you?" you asked, confused. are scammers not universal people?
"no. we, omatikaya people, are family. we live as brothers and sisters. if anyone needs anything, they can find it out in the forest or ask a family friend for it, but there's never stealing going on. are 'scammers' on earth a regular thing?"
"oh my god, yes, they are! i get like five scammers a day texting me on instagram–" you groaned, finally having someone to vent your frustration to. your friends never really listened to you when you talked, but they always swore up and down that you were the best of friends. you knew they just wanted to be around you because of your reputation, but you would've rathered fake friends than no friends. you didn't want to be alone your whole life, you know?
"instagram?" there are so many components to earth that lo'ak had never heard about. his father never really talked about his life on earth, choosing to prioritize his present rather than explaining his past. you noticed that there was obviously a worldly difference between the two of you, and he looked like he was interested in all the funny words coming out of your mouth. 
"yeah, it's a social media app. that you get on your phone." you laughed as he tilted his head. your words were foreign, and he wanted to know what they meant. 
"what are these things? explain them to me. i wanna understand." lo'ak sat before you settled in, giving you his full attention. you blushed at his sudden actions but did as he asked. you began explaining so many 'earth things' to him, from sports to social media, even political issues, and he totally agreed with all of your opinions.
you two talked for hours, the distance between you getting smaller and smaller the more you talked. neither of you had even realized eclipse had set in. looking up to the sky briefly as he laughed at a joke you told him, lo'ak noticed the eclipse, and immediately his heart dropped. you were lost in your conversation about track because lo'ak had asked you about your favorite sport, and you didn't notice him rise from his sitting position beside you. 
"–i hated when my coach would tell me they needed me to run the 4x4. those suck, and i'm not even a long-distance runner–"
"–y/n, i'm so, so, sorry to interrupt you, but i have to go. like right now. but i want to see you again, okay? so please stay safe." and with that, the blue boy took off into the forest, disappearing before you could get a word in. you sighed, upset that he left so suddenly but thought back to what he said before he left.
'i want to see you again, okay? so please stay safe.’
he wants to see you again.
you blushed, playing with one of your bracelets, as you let his words sink in. he wants you to be safe so he can see you again. you've had boys interested in you, but it was always for the same reason your 'friends' hung out with you. you would never stoop that low, so on top of never having time for boys, even if you wanted to carve out time for one, none of the ones back on earth were worth it. they were just all fame chasers, and you hated how people never wanted to know you. 
you stood from your place on the rock, gathering your belongings and using the map that norm gave you so you could get back as fast as possible. 
the whole walk back, you couldn't help but think about him, where he had to go, why he left so suddenly, and just who he was as a person. neither one of you got to talk a lot about yourself because you were so caught up in explaining things on earth, but you hoped the next time you saw him, you two could get to know each other and maybe even become friends. you could use a friend on this god-forsaken planet, and it's not like you have any plans of leaving anyways, so you might as well.
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back at the lab, max was working around, doing his usual scientist-man thing, when he noticed some blood on the door handle. obviously, it was yours from earlier, but this gave max a chance to experiment on something he had been thinking about a lot.
could you be related to theodora?
he can't deny the prominent resemblance, but it could always just be a coincidence. so max took a clean q-tip, swabbing some of the blood off to the door handle before storing it away in a ziplock bag. he planned to test your dna later, on a day when he was in the lab alone, so he wouldn't have to deal with any disturbances. 
as max stored the ziplock away, you walked into the shack. 
"goodnight, max! i'm going to bed. tell norm i said goodnight." you said, quickly waving at them and then disappearing into theodora's old room. max was shocked, to say the least. were you being nice? it was like a completely different girl just walked into the lab. your attitude had vanished alongside the snide remarks and the many curse words in your vocabulary. it had all vanished.
max didn't know if he was scared or grateful.
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satorisoup · 7 months
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⌗ 𝐈𝐂𝐊 ⁝ ( ᰔ )
— bokuto, osamu, kuroo, atsumu, akaashi
pt. 1 | pt. 2
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✉︎ 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ノ don’t take any of these seriously!! im slandering my own favs in this so dont worry, we suffer together teehee >:3
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𝐊𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎 | bo —
this is my blorbo, and it pains me to say it but i just know this man has the worst body odor EVER on match days. it’s genuinely so bad. when he’s on the court with his beefy self sweating up a storm… YIKES i can smell him from here. don’t get me wrong he’s very hygienic and usually smells like a good cologne! but that deodorant is doing nothing when he’s playing volleyball. don’t go sniffing him after a game because you just might burn your nose hairs off.
𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀 | preferences —
prefers when girls “don’t wear makeup”. yes, he thinks you always look adorable but he doesn’t hesitate to say he likes you better without it. says he likes a “natural girl”, but when you take your makeup off he’s automatically asking if you’re okay because “you look tired.”. PLEASE someone tell this man to hush up when it comes his dumb “preferences” because it just makes him look douchey.
𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 | smart aleck —
he’s unfortunately a smart ass. do not try to get into arguments about ANYTHING with him because he’s automatically pulling up google to prove you wrong. and even when its HIM that’s wrong, he continues to try and make himself sound right. it could be about something so minuscule and he already has a wikipedia page open. “no that’s actually not true look-“ KUROO I LOVE YOU BUT SHUT UP! im just trying to talk about a damn bird i saw.
𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀 | gratuity —
he’s really, really bad at giving gratuity to restaurant staff. he’s super nice to them, but he thinks a $5 tip should work fine on your 100$ check with multiple modifications to your order. he’s so used to his brother giving him free food at onigiri miya that he’s lost all sense of good percentages when it comes to the tip. at this point, cover the tip yourself and let him pay for the rest because he just doesn’t get it.
𝐊𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 | grammar —
GRAMMAR POLICE. oh my god. please read over your text 10 times before you send it because he WILL find something wrong with it. even if it’s very obviously a typo, he’s correcting it before he even responds to your message. buy him a shirt that says “you’re*” on it because its his catchphrase at this point. want his help studying? think again. you’re basically going to be redoing everything you had done. you should really just let HIM do it.
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