#skelepreg (implied)

[sansmania]

e n d 

and obviously i never got around to part two but thats that! 

[ellis-illustrates]

Edgepuff and bby twins

Snapdragon (tale) is mine

Obsidian (fell) is @roseyturtles / @roseyskeletons

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 10.1: Hiper-Billirubinado

 [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Stretch sets his plan in motion with a standard of romance: flowers! Edge is a little confused at first, but he likes them. And shows Stretch a little love back in turn.

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Edge (Underfell Sans)

Contains: (Implied) Mpreg/Skelepreg! (Implied) Mood swings! Very eager to please Stretch and very confused Edge! Flowers and flower language! Fluff! Kisses! (Implied) Sex! 

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: I really like this one, haha! I hope you do too! <3 Title based on the Juan Luis Guerra song “Me Sube la Billirubina.”

Y me inyectaron suero de colores, ey And they injected me with a rainbow serum

Y me sacaron la radiografía And they took all my x-rays

Y me diagnosticaron mal de amores And they diagnosed me with lovesickness

Al ver mi corazón como latía When they saw how fast my heart was beating

Since his hands were otherwise occupied, Stretch had to kick the door open. “Hey!”

There was the sound of something clattering from the kitchen, probably in surprise. Whoops. He carefully put his gift on the display table, poking his head into the kitchen. “Edge!”

His husband jumped, fumbling with the dish in his hand and barely managing to catch it. He glared at Stretch over his shoulder, setting it down inside the sink carefully before pointedly continuing his task.

“We need to talk-”

“Do not come into my house screaming like that!” Edge finally turned around, pointing at the door angrily, “You go outside, wipe your shoes on the mat, open the door gently, you say ‘good afternoon’ like a civilized monster, and then you ask for what you want-!“

Stretch had never been so happy to be told off before in his life, scooping his husband up and twirling him around. “You’re absolutely right, darlin’! I’ll be more careful next time!” Being told off meant things weren’t weird between them anymore and they could go back to being normal again!

“Huh?! What is wrong with you-“

He kept his arms locked around Edge’s waist as he dipped him into a kiss, concentrating all his love and affection into the gesture. If his husband had actually been annoyed earlier, he sure got over it pretty fast. Edge melted against him almost instantly,  wrapping his arms around his neck and deepening it. Before things could get too heated, Stretch picked his husband up, committing that adorable squeak to memory, and carried him to the display table just outside the kitchen.

“I gotcha something!” He nuzzled Edge’s face as he put him down. “Ta-da!” He made jazz hands for dramatic effect, gesturing at the large bouquet.

“Do you like ‘em?!” Stretch asked more anxiously than he would have liked, unable to interpret his husband’s expression. It wasn’t a frown, but Edge wasn’t exactly smiling at the chrysanthemum either.

“They’re beautiful,” Edge said quietly, watching him out of the corner of his eye carefully, “Thank you. Why did you bring me these flowers?”

Duh! Maybe they didn’t do flower languages so much in Underfell, and Edge didn’t understand what he was trying to say! “Yeah, yeah, lemme explain a little bit-“

He rested his chin on his husband’s shoulder, arms on either side of him as he pointed at the different flowers. “The Red Chrysanthemum means I love you, while Holly means domestic happiness and defense. It’s technically a winter plant, so it’s not quite, uh, ripe right now, but I thought it was still kind of pretty-”

Edge was too silent, nodding when appropriate. Stretch was starting to get the feeling that maybe flower language wasn’t what his husband had been asking about... But well, now he couldn’t stop this nervous rambling, “And ivy means wedded love and fidelity! I don’t know what those little white tendrils on the ivy mean, but the florist insisted, so it must be something good! Then there’s these Damask roses, which she said were the ‘Persian Ambassadors of Love’ so it seemed appropriate! ‘Cause we’re both diplomats and I love you! And then there’s mistletoe, which, hehe, you know.”

Edge finally perked up, looking like he understood. Stretch wasn’t sure what he was supposed to understand from all that- he himself wasn’t sure he understood what he wanted his husband to understand- but then Edge was pulling him down... to kiss his cheek. He blinked, a little confused but not disappointed.

“I love you~” Edge breathed against his husband’s teeth with a smile, nuzzling him gently. It was kinda weird that soft affection was making Stretch blush, considering they had been making out literally a few minutes ago.

“You don’t need to bribe me-” Edge’s hands started to roam over his chest, teasing touches that started to dip under his hoodie, “When you want some extra love.“ Edge punctuated that word with a hard pump to his spine. Stretch gave a surprised moan, fingers digging into his husband’s iliac crests.

“You just need to ask.” His husband didn’t let up from his spine, guiding them backwards toward the bedroom. Stretch stumbled after him, more than a little disoriented as Edge kissed him deeply.

“I don’t want you to feel-“ When they finally ended up on the bed- his hoodie and shirt discarded somewhere along the way- he was on top of his husband. “Forgotten.” That look sent a rush of heat to his pelvis, especially as Edge started to peel his shirt off.

“But you don’t always need to ask. I also like it when you’re -“ He kept one arm above his head, fisted into the the plush comforter. His smile was sultry and inviting as his other hand trailed Stretch’s ribs gently, “Bold.”

Well. This hadn’t been what he had been going for, like, at all. But having Edge under him, willing and arching so prettily as he kissed lower and lower, was a pretty good outcome. And well, if his husband wanted ‘bold,’ then who was he to deny him that?

FIN.

[ Incident 1  - Here!] [ Incident 2 ] [ Incident 3]

[rhiannon-langley]

I fell in love with @redvelvetreel (16+ blog) and their fic series, and I was inspired to write a few things for them!  The fics will all be considered non-canon unless otherwise specified.  Please check the tags before reading just in case!  

[msmkcreates]

Love and Other Drugs

Another oneshot collection on ao3??

Baby's first Fontcest??

This is where I will post any and all Pap/Sans/Fontcest oneshots, drabbles, gift works, and commissions!

I know I usually write xReader, so here is another warning to not read if you don't like it!

Fluff, angst, smut, and more...

---------

Polyruses: BabyMamaDrama

First chapter is for Lazy Hazy, based on their adorable polyruses!

Warnings: implied/obvious self-harm and comfort, m!preg/skelepreg

Note: While I usually use Mutt, SF!Papyrus is referred to as Hickory. And UF!Pap is Edge instead of Boss, like I normally use. I went with Lazy Hazy's nicknames for this one!

[sansmania]

:)

[ellis-illustrates]

Bruh HOW MANY BABIES WILL YOUR SKELETONS HAVE!?

BSNDJDKKG THIS IS THE BEST ONE EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 9.3: Blue Ain’t (Usually) My Color

           [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Stretch receives conflicting advice on how to go about fixing this. He decides to go the middle ground of big, heartfelt gestures that say ‘sorry’ without actually saying it. What could possibly go wrong?

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans)& Blue (Underswap Sans)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Different monster cultural traditions between universes!  

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Sorry this took me forever! In hindsight, I should have finished this part before starting my event, huh? I got like an ask or 2 left for that! I kinda wanna keep it up for fun tho, in case y’all have any other questions, but hmmm... idk! idk~

“Huh?” Red looked at him like he grew another head- that devious bastard was actually trying to act dumb! “Fuck ya talkin’-“

“I hurt Edge’s feelings, bad, so I gotta make all of this up to him.” Stretch shifted restlessly, “How do I apologize to him? What would a Fell monster do?”

“Fell don’t apologize, ‘cause Fell ain’t got no feelin’s! Just act normal ‘n like there ain’t nothin’ bad.” Red mimed brushing dust off of his jacket, “Ya forget? I forget. S’easy!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Blue crossed his arms over his chest, looking pensive, “You’re not Fell, and Edge won’t expect a Fell-style apology from you. Actually, he might be more hurt by the fact it looks like you don’t care.”

His face must have fallen, because Blue immediately continued, “So, I think you should just talk to him! Say you realized you hurt his feelings, apologize, and that you want to make it up to him!”

“Is this like a dungeon puzzle?” Stretch put his head on the table, “I don’t know. What question do I ask so I know which of you is lying and which of you is telling the truth?”

Distantly, he heard Blue explain over his head, hand patting his back, “It’s a movie reference.”

“Ok, whatever, we don’t got all fuckin’ day.” Red must have leaned on the table, because he sounded a lot closer in an instant, “Why don’tcha do both? Sorry by gettin’ Edge somethin’ nice ‘nstead a’pologizin’, yeah?”

“Like what?” Stretch turned his face onto the side of his arm with a dejected sigh, unable to muster the strength to lift his head. Trying to fight against biology was too much work- he was just gonna be an emotional mess for the rest of this quarter. Thanks a lot, Pancake.

“From you?” Red squinted at him, hand drumming on the table, “Uh, sing. One ‘a them cowboy songs.”

Stretch sat up abruptly, whacking at where his ears should have be. “Huh?!”

“Ya made a mixtape one Gyftmas, yeah?” Red knew about that?! Why did Red know about that?! “S’favorite gift ya ever gave. Goddamn brat listened to it fuckin’ thousand times.”

“That was a gag gift!” Stretch couldn’t believe it, a weird mix of touched and embarrassed and confused. “He wasn’t supposed to like it!!! I- I yodeled, man! There was a banjo- I don’t know how to play the banjo! I play the harboneica! I put so much ‘twang’ into the first like 3 songs I kept coughing throughout ‘I’ve got Spurs that Jingle Jangle Jingle!’ And you’re telling me he liked it?!” He dragged his hands down his face, wishing he could sink into the floor. (and still kinda weird pleased) “He listened to it! More than once?!”

Blue laughed lightly, turning his face away as though that were any less humiliating for his poor, embarrassed, put-upon brother, “I remember.” Why did Blue remember?! What did he remember?!

“Sorry, Papy,” Blue didn’t look or sound apologetic enough, “But you were singing at the top of yours lungs and you kept crashing into things. You were laughing almost the entire time, though, so I assumed you were having a good time.”

“Ughhhh...” Stretch tried to slide down the cushioned seats and onto the floor as Red and Blue snickered. Laughing at his expense. Traitors. “Is that what Edge liked about it so much? Making fun of me?”

“Ya damn well know that ain’t true.” Red wasn’t quite as smiley anymore.

“Then why-?”

“ ‘Cause he’s sappy as shit!” Red was at the end of his patience, bringing his hands down hard enough to shake the table, “He likes bein’ able to be soft with ya, ok?! All them singin’ bad ‘n dancin’ in the kitchen kinda shit! So pick yer noggin fer somethin’ sugary as hell ‘n just!” He gestured, articulating something Stretch could barely understand. “Fuckin’! Don’t apologize like a bitch! Seduce him like a nerd!”

“Ok!” This was sounding like a better and better plan! Be as charming and goofy and lovable romcom protagonist-y as possible, sweep Edge off his high heels, and get everything back to normal! With the added bonus of making Edge super happy and letting him know he was deeply, truly loved! Brilliant!

“Blue!” He turned to his brother, an excited twinkle to his eye, “How do I do that? What are the best romcom tropes and treats?”

“Um.” Blue’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment as Red leered at him, but he soldiered on, “You could leave him cute voice messages of you singing for him. Uh, he’s more of a savory person, so some biscuits or something from the Barkery might be nice. Balloons? Flowers? Everybody likes flowers!”

“Y’ain’t ever get me flowers.” Red teased, grin sharp.

“Stuffed animals are popular too.” Blue ignored him, “But make sure you’re tailoring it to his interests-“

“He likes dancin’!” Red moved his torso to some imaginary beat, but with that snickering, Stretch wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. “S’Latin night somewhere! Merengue ‘n Salsa ‘n cumbias, nuerito! Real heat up with a bachata!”

“Yeah, ok! I don’t! Know! What half of those are! But ok!” This was going to be great! Stretch pulled his brother into a hug, kissing the top of his head, “You’re a genius, bro!”

He turned to his brother-in-law, “Red-”

Red backed himself into a corner when Stretch turned to him, holding his hand out, “Ain’t gonna letcha kiss me ‘fore buyin’ dinner, Honey.”

Stretch laughed at that, Soul feeling light and suddenly incredibly happy, shaking his brother-in-law’s hand... before clanking a kiss to the back of his hand anyway. Had to practice being as charming as possible, after all!

“Thanks guys!” He was up in a moment, bouncing on the heels of his high tops excitedly, “I’m gonna hit up the Barkery to get a special order in before they close! And the flower shop! And see what other cool stuff I can find!”

“Papy-“ Blue called out, “You still need to tell him why-“

“Don’t be givin’ all at once- draw shit out!” Red was louder, obviously riling Stretch up even further, “Keep ‘im guessin’!”

Stretch was already out the door, phone to his head and waving cheerily as he ran- literally ran- off. Blue sighed deeply.

“Whatcha wanna bet on?” Red was gleefully devious, worrying at a piece of g like the caricature villain he liked to project himself as. “How’sit gonna blow? Who’s gonna blow?”

“It’s rude and in poor taste to bet against your brother and brother-in-law’s happiness.” Blue told him primly, “So, I’ll bet a compliment to Edge, on a topic of your choosing, that Edge is going to contact me to ask what’s wrong with Papy-“

“I ain’t gonna take those odds!” Red crossed his arms petulantly, “S’fuckin’ rigged, tramposo!”

“Before he rips into you for outing his cowboy kink to my brother.” Blue finished with a coy smile, laying his hands flat on the table with a shrug. “But if you’re too chicken-“

“Hah!” Red’s smile was excited and bright as he put his own hands down, palms up, “That’s good! Hell if I know! I’ll betcha...” His fingers drummed on the table pensively, “Hm... Betcha an paternal encouragin’ fer Honey. Tell ‘im he’s gonna be a good Papa.”

“Yeah, okay,” Blue reached for the hand Red offered him, turning it carefully to make sure it wasn’t booby trapped. As soon as they shook on it, Red kicked him under the table- and he got a joy buzzer to the knee.

“I hate you!” Sputtering angrily, Blue rubbed at his knee, obviously trying to dispel the lingering numbness, “You’re such an asshole!”

“Love ya too, baby cakes.” Red blew him a kiss as he stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “Now hurry up ‘n grab ‘em napkins! Game’s comin’ on at 1:00, and I ain’t gonna miss it ‘cause you’re bein’ lazy.”

Red was already at the door, walking into a shortcut before he had to hear Blue cussing him out again.

FIN.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [ Part 3 - Here! ]  

[itsladykit]

Skelepreg angst

For @soratayuya and @deck-of-dragons. Read the warnings, please.

Warning for: chauvinism, condescension, disregarding anxiety, references to abortion, unwanted pregnancy, Bad Brother AU, kidnapping.

Pairings: PlumHoney (Plum is Cash’s brother)

“i don’t understand,” Plum said, looking at Rus across the breakfast table. “i thought you’d be happy about this.”

Rus stared at him. “why would i—? why would you think i wanted this?” he asked, sockets wide. “i’m not—i can’t—“ His hand settled on his stomach, feeling the warmth of the summoned ectoflesh under his hand. Flat for now. “i never wanted kids!”

“hmmm,” Plum said simply, stirring a little syrup into his oatmeal. “would you mind passing the napkins?”

Rus stared hard at him. “are you listening to me?”

Plum looked up from his oatmeal and pinned him with a look. Rus swallowed tightly, pressing against the back of his seat. “you’re pregnant,” the Royal Judge said, folding his hands neatly under his chin. “i assume the child is mine—“

“of course it’s yours! who else would it—?!”

A raised brow-bone silenced him. “the child is mine, so you can be sure it will be taken care of. you will want for nothing while you are carrying, and you will recieve the best care and treatment. i really don’t see what the problem is or why it calls for hysterics.”

“i don’t want this, plum!”

His sockets narrowed. “while you are in my universe, you will use my name, honey.”

Rus was breathing hard now; it felt like he was fighting with a brick wall. “s-sans,” he said, choked, “please. i can’t—i can’t do this! i can’t!”

Plum softened marginally, then reached across the table to pat his cheek. “don’t be ridiculous. you’re tale-verse; you were practically made for this.” Leaning back, he grabbed one of the napkins and spread it over his lap. “when the child comes, you’ll see that i was right. now, eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

Rus shook his head, then started to stand, ready to go back to his own universe. “i’m—“ He took a breath, coming to a decision. “i’m gonna talk to my undyne. i’ll...i’ll see you around.”

As he turned, though, his soul turned blue, and he was pulled back into his seat. Standing, Plum wiped his mouth on a napkin, then set it aside and came to stand behind Rus. “plum? what are you—?”

Gentle fingers played over his cervical vertebrae. “i hoped you would be more malleable, but it seems stubborness is a papyrus trait.” Something locked around his neck with a click. A cold metal ring settled on his collarbone. “i had this made when my little brother was running around, making a nuisance of himself.”

Rus tried to teleport, but nothing happened. “what did you—?”

“you’re upset and over-emotional. i can’t allow you to make any rash decisions. you’ll be staying here with me until the child comes.”

“i—“

Sighing, Plum kissed the top of his head and ran a hand down Rus’ stomach, resting one hand over the small soul sheltered within. “give it time. you’ll see that i’m only doing this for your own good. when you hold our baby in your arms, you’ll forget you ever felt this way. you were made to be a mother, honey, you’ll see.”

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 11.2: Amorfino

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Edge explains the PregHUD to Stretch, complete with a demonstration of it’s most annoying, well-meaning feature.

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Edge (Underfell Papyrus)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg!  Mood swings! Lots of pseudo-magic-science fudging and videogame logistics! So many headcanons!

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: This is the PregHUD, the default menu of all Souling related things, from Edge’s perspective! C: Stretch’s HUD is a little different, hehe!

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What was this thing?!

This display was unlike anything he had ever seen before! For whatever reason, this one didn’t need to be locked on any one particular target to be used- it was just sort of this pop-up in front of Edge. Kinda like a stat menu, although Stretch didn’t think other people could usually see those. He could see Edge’s, sometimes, but that was only because their souls were literally linked. Was this the same thing or not?

Stretch carefully picked his husband up, depositing him on his feet in the middle of the room. This was way too exciting to sit down for! Edge could be cute later.

“This is so cool!” He made a circuit around his nonplussed husband, looking at the menu from all angles, “Why can I see it? Can anyone else see it?”

“Of course not!” Edge looked almost scandalized, “No one else is ever going to see this!”

“Yeah, okay,” Stretch nodded agreeably, squatting down so he was eye level with the Souling. That was a minor curiosity, he wasn’t willing to push for it.

Even through the thick fabric of Edge’s sweater, he could clearly see the bright, white glow. He lifted up the hem of his husband’s top, noting the Souling’s glow was the same underneath the fabric, too.

“Huh.” He let his hands drop as Edge batted them away, “I wonder why they’re glowing through the clothes-“ Oh! Duh! It was locked onto Pancake! He shot up so quickly Edge startled and nearly clocked him in the face, “HUDs are closest to a BATTLE setting, so it makes sense their soul would react the same way! Souls don’t typically glow in battle, but then again, we tend to have a physical form when we engage in battles! It all makes so much sense.”

Stretch rested his chin on Edge’s shoulder as he pulled his husband into a backwards hug, patting the ectomagic with a smile, “You’re a bright kid, huh? Taken a real shining to-“

“Enough!” Edge pushed him away by his face with an irritated huff, “Do you want to know how this thing works or not?!”

“Yes please! .... light of my life.” Stretch pressed a kiss to the side of his husband’s head, looking at the screen obediently... as he rested his chin on Edge’s shoulder, again. And pulled Pancake into another hug. “I’m listening. How do you use it?”

Rolling his eyes almost audibly, Edge pointed to the screen, “This is the main screen.”

It was like a mixture of an HUD with phone technology in an intangible, manipulatable rectangle. There was a big bar in the middle and over a quarter of it was filled in white. On one end was a picture of an upside down heart, and on the other was a percentage. It wasn’t labeled, but... that was obviously Pancake’s load bar.

“That’s Pancake’s-“

“Uh, why are our names in these tabs?” Seemed kind of silly to attach that information to the load bar. As though they, or the Souling, needed any reminders.

“They’re shortcuts to Pancake,” Edge literally waved his question off, “But the squares around it are more important!”

A shortcut to Pancake (whatever that meant) seemed plenty important, but what did he know? Around the load bar we’re a variety of boxes with small icons in them, some of which were gray and appeared locked.

“So, this first one is a general notes program-“

“Wait, so you click them and you can access different... programs?” He felt Edge nod, even as Stretch poked at a locked square. “And these are ones we can only access once were in the right quarter?”

“Yes, but you would know that if you stopped interrupting me!” Edge punctuated his annoyance by suddenly jostling his shoulder, which ow, point taken. Stretch rubbed at his chin quietly.

“So, that’s Notes, to remember everything important: dates, milestones, gifts, events, etc. That’s Information, which has manuals and explanations about monster pregnancy, including symptoms for non-pregnant partners.” Stretch pointedly avoided that look sent his way. “This is Family Health, which is like a CHECK for all of us and some extra information too. And that last one is Souling Theme.”

Edge pointed at each little square in turn, pausing on the first square at the bottom. It featured a little white heart surrounded by slices of all the base magic colors in a cool little heptagon. All the icons to the right of it were still locked gray. What was up with that? “And I don’t know what this one is. It unlocked itself recently, but it’s weird. It might be like a minigame? Oh, and I don’t understand the Souling Theme either. It just has a list of everyone we know. You can write things next to their names, but I don’t know why.”

“Oh, that’s probably for the Baby Band.” Stretch  waved his hand, “That’s not until the last quarter, though, so we don’t need to worry about until later. Let’s ask Undyne about the heptagon though.”

“What? Baby band? Heptagon?” Edge looked confused and a little concerned, which was not good and the opposite of what he had been trying to do. That was supposed to be reassuring! Time for a topic change.

“This all seems unusually straightforward...” Stretch squinted at it, as though that made things any clearer. Monsters loved puzzles and complicating their lives. “You just click and it opens up the tools? What’s the catch? Aren’t there any puzzles anywhere?”

“Yes! These!” Edge started swearing something unintelligible, angrily jabbing at the first square. “Goals!”

Stretch rubbed his husband’s shoulders soothingly, watching a new, much more colorful screen pop up. It looked like a bunch of paper, with a nearby pencil poised and ready to write. Before he finished taking in the rest of it, some kind of mascot danced onto the middle of the screen.

“Hey, it’s the egg! Right? The one from the Dating HUD?” Stretch hadn’t even realized it had been missing! Weird, since he had started checking it daily while he waited for his husband to wake up from his little naps. “It got legs! And a little hat!”

“Yes, and it changes what kind of legs it has every! Time!” Edge glared at it for a few more seconds, before reluctantly tapping on it. A little dialogue box popped up below it.

「HELLO, PAPYRUS “EDGE”!」

“I am not your friend!” Edge snarled, tapping at it again, more aggressively than before, “I don’t owe you any explanations!”

「ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DAILY CHALLENGE?」

“No!” Edge tapped on it again anyway, moving restlessly as the egg danced into a corner, starting to pull something out of its hat. “Don’t laugh- it’s not funny!”

Stretch angled his face so his smile was pressed against Edge’s shoulder instead, trying very hard not to laugh. His husband seemed to be having a difficult time not smiling himself.

「HERE’S YOUR PUZZLE!」

It was a word scramble, a lot like the Minor Mixup Stretch used to do as a kid.

「 RNDKI smeo LIKM!」

Edge made a sound between a groan and a growl, counting out the letters before starting to type his answer into the space below.

「QMCJH rldn KHJL?」

Huh? Stretch frowned as the egg started dancing sadly in the corner. Stretch felt sorry for it when if finally fell down. (And a little irritated at it for making Edge so obviously annoyed, of course.)

「TRY AGAIN!」

“I hate these,” Edge seethed, crossing his arms as he glared at the screen, “There’s never a pattern! How are you supposed to solve this without a pattern?! At least a hint!”

“That’s...” What was the best way of phrasing this? “I think it might be a word scramble, Babe.” Stretch pointed to the first string of letters, “Have you tried plugging the letters they gave you in a different order to make new words?”

“Like león- I mean, lion... kim- skim...?” Edge looked adorably confused, “There aren’t enough vowels!”

“How about word by word, then?” Stretch put his hand over the last two words, gently nudging his husband’s shoulder, “What word does「 RNDKI」look like?”

“I don’t know-“ Edge sighed impatiently, “Kindr, dinkr- oh!” He positively lit up as he tapped the right order into the keyboard, “Drink? Is it drink?”

“Yeah!” Stretch cheered, clapping his husband on the back, “Good job! The next should be a little easier-”

“How dare you make fun of me?!” Edge elbowed him in the chest, and Stretch staggered back with a gasp. That was gratitude for you. “The stupid egg never said it was a word scramble! It just said it was a puzzle- and word scrambles are difficult! I don’t care what Red says, crosswords are a lot easier than this thing- and you’re wrong if you think that too!”

“I never said anything about it not being hard or anything,” Stretch rubbed at his chest ruefully, but completely ignoring rational self-preservation, went back to leaning on Edge’s shoulder. “Just that I think the solution might be more apparent if you look at it like a word-by-word scramble. I didn’t mean to imply anything- I think crosswords and word scrambles use different skills and understanding, and can be very difficult in different ways.”

“Hm.” Edge looked at him suspiciously over his shoulder, before turning back to the screen with a frown. He grabbed his husband’s hand, repositioning the fingers over the final word, “So you think the next word is... some?”

“Try plugging it in.” Shrugging, he watched Edge type it in and get the font to change color.

“Hm...” Edge still looked far from convinced, but typed ‘milk’ into the last space anyway.

「 DRINK some MILK!」

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 10.2: Hiper-Billirubinado

[Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: What could be more romantic than letting your SO sleep in and make them a delicious brunch spread?! Edge can actually think of a lot of things, but if Stretch really wants him to eat these chicken and waffle things, then its his husband’s good luck he married such an accomodating, nice guy. 

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Edge (Underfell Papyrus)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! (Implied) Mood swings! Very eager to please Stretch and very confused Edge! Domestic Fluff! Cooking and cooking mishaps! 

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Title based on the Juan Luis Guerra song “Me Sube la Billirubina.”

Oye, y me trastearon hasta el alma They even poked around my soul Con rayos equis y cirugía With x-rays and surgeries Y es que la ciencia no funciona And it turns out science just doesn’t work Sólo tus besos, vida mía Just your kisses, my life

It was mortifying to be sleeping in. Ever since he was a child, Edge had always been an early riser. There was always so much to do, he sometimes wished he didn’t have to sleep at all! He was the one who woke people up! It was wrong on a cosmic level for Stretch, the king of naps and drowsy lazing around, to be awake before him. To be productive while Edge was still sleeping!

He was still trying to rub sleep out of his sockets, slippers padding on the wood floors quietly, when he entered the kitchen.

“Papí, no me-“ Edge shook his head, trying to focus on his words, “Don’t let me sleep late-“

Edge froze, taking in the sight of his kitchen. Used dishes and bowls all along the counter and in the sink, every single spoon they owned had different types of food stuck to them, and there were half-opened, half-used ingredients all around. The milk didn’t even have a lid on it.

“Good morning!” Stretch was cheerful and energetic, bouncing over to give him a hug. He was wearing a chef’s hat and that stupid  ‘Grill Sergeant’ apron. Edge would have appreciated that gift more if Stretch hadn’t also crammed every other food related pun he could find on the rest of the fabric. On both sides. “Did you sleep well, sweetheart?”

“Good morning. Too well.” Edge sighed, trying to force the irritation down by closing his eyes and focusing on the feel of Stretch’s arms around him. “Wake me up when you wake up, Papí.”

“If you’re tired, you should sleep. You obviously need it.” Stretch sighed, discreetly trying to  feel his forehead. With his oven mitts on. Mamerto. “The weekend is the one time you can do it guilt free, so gotta take advantage, no?”

“No.” Edge leaned up on his tiptoes to give his husband a quick kiss, taking the oven mitts off in the process. With growing trepidation, he looked over at the bubbling pot on the stove, “What are you cooking? It smells...” It wasn’t necessarily appetizing, but it wasn’t bad either. “Oil? Is that oil?”

“Yup! Your nose knows!” Stretch gestured to the stove by sweeping his hand, and Edge pulled his husband’s arm back by the sleeve before he could hit the handle. If Stretch noticed, he didn’t comment on it. “I’m making brunch today, and I wanted to give you the best, most underrated combination ever: chicken and waffles!”

It took all of Edge’s willpower not to grimace, “Waffles?” He squirmed away from Stretch to peer into the bubbling pot, “Pancake waffles? Honey and sprinkle waffles?”

“Exactly!” Stretch playfully bumped him to the side with his hip, picking up a plate with raw, breaded chicken. Edge crushed a hand to his mouth to keep from saying anything as some of chicken fell into the pot with a splash, sending oil spilling onto his nice, clean stovetop. “Whoops. I’ll clean it up later, don’t worry.”

Edge already had a paper towel at the ready, trying to push past his husband, “Move. Let me clean that-”

“Nope, I’m good!” Stretch gestured to the table just through the doorway, which was positively covered in food. “Go ahead, take a seat and dig in!” He put his hands on the small of Edge’s back, gently pushing him forward.

“What-?!” Edge started to protest, but reluctantly let himself be exiled from his kitchen. There were a variety of foods he recognized on the table: cornbread, pancakes, grits (ugh,) bacon and scrambled eggs (ughhh.) And a few things he didn’t recognize- Wait. Edge picked up a misshapen green lump with melted cheese starting to ooze out the side. Cautiously, he broke off a piece to nibble on. It was too salty, but the taste was unmistakable.

“Are these Greempanadas?” He called over his shoulder, picking up the light brown glass in front of his plate. On closer inspection, it was oatmeal that was starting to coagulate. “And Coolada?”

“Well! They’re supposed to be- I did my very best, called Red and everything!” Stretch yelled over the sound of frying chicken, and the repetitive ding of the oven. It was a struggle for Edge not to go rushing in there to deal with it himself. “I mean, I looked around but you don’t have any of your Underfell recipes written down anywhere!”

“Why would you do that?” Edge asked the easy question instead, rolling the glass around in his hand. The oatmeal remained stuck in place. Stretch probably just used that instant oatmeal packet. Menso. “You could have just asked me. I would have been happy to make them for you-“

“But then it wouldn’t be a surprise! And I wanted to try and make them for you!” Stretch finally turned the stove off, apparently done with the frying, and Edge let out a relieved breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “Like how you learned to make grits for me, even though you don’t even like them!”

Ah. This was a guilt thing, then. Why? What had Stretch done that he needed to be forgiven? He wasn’t still going on about the other day, was he? Edge didn’t like surprises, especially the kind of surprises without a clear motive. Well, Stretch was a terrible liar, and his conscience would have him breaking soon. Edge could be patient.

“And Red told you to use this much salt?” Edge tried to nibble off a little more, but it was so salty. What had his brother been thinking?

The oven dinged one more time. “Sort of!” Stretch continued ranting from the kitchen, oblivious. “Your brother is super unhelpful! He was like, ‘Put as much salt as you want, but not too much!’ and ‘Just a little bit of sugar and a dash of pepper!’ And then he got all mad at me when I asked for clarification, all ‘You got a tongue, don’t’cha?!’ Ugh!”

Edge crushed a piece of the Greempanada on his plate, sprinkling the chunks around like crumbs. He wrapped four of them in a paper napkin, tucking them into his inventory for later disposal. “Yes, Red is the absolute worst.”

“Yes! Well, I mean-“ Stretch cleared his throat uncomfortably, backtracking immediately, “Maybe it’s very obvious for Fell monsters, but for Stretch monsters, it’s like he’s speaking to me in Flowey. Like, really angry, aggressive Flowey.”

Edge smiled despite himself, shaking his head fondly. Stretch made another sound of annoyance, “So, yeah, I tried. There were some other things he was telling me but I didn’t know what those were, so I substituted some stuff.”

Ah. That would explain the paprika. A moment later, Stretch came out with two plates exactly as advertised: fried chicken on a waffle covered in... something. He started to hand a plate over, before hesitating to fidget a little self-consciously, “I know I’m not as great a cook as you are, but... I hope you like it anyway.“

He put the plates down on the table with a sigh, smile anxious and strained, “This was one of my favorite things as a kid, so I wanted you to try it, ‘cause you’re always giving me all of this delicious things from Underfell-“ Stretch started worrying at his ring, “And I appreciate it, you know? I love your cooking and I love you, and I want you to feel as happy as I do when you share this kind of stuff with me, so I wanted to return the favor in a small way-“

Using the side of his fork, Edge cut off a piece of both chicken and waffle, swirling them in the sticky, brown sauce. Bracing himself, he carefully took a bite. The taste was... indescribable. He wouldn’t call it delicious- the sauce was too sweet for the chicken but too salty for the waffle- but he could feel the care that went into it. The love put into the dish went straight to his soul like a hug, and Edge could honestly look up and say, “It’s good.”

“Is it?!” Stretch was in his lap in a moment, arms tight around his chest as he knocked their skulls together, “Blue makes them with bourbon-maple glaze, but that has alcohol, and I didn’t wanna risk it. Yeah, yeah, cooking it makes the alcohol disappear but I’m not gonna take any chances with Pancake!”

Stretch was incredibly talkative today. Not enough to worry, not yet, but enough to definitely monitor. “Like, I want my kid to have this sometime too, but I figured it’d be better when they were born! Yeah, they can get some from symbiosis right now, maybe, but it’s not the same-“ Edge cut off another piece of the chicken and waffle, popping it into his husband’s mouth mid-explanation.

“Yes.” He agreed amicably, keeping his arm around his husband’s waist to keep him from fleeing. He put another piece of food against Stretch’s mouth before he finished swallowing the first, “I’m sure they’ll like it.”

Especially if it was one of the first things they tried, before they developed a firm sense of taste and could speak out against it. And Edge would have plenty of time to undo the damage before Pancake could develop their other father’s sweet tooth.

[ Incident 1 ] [ Incident 2 - Here! ] [ Incident 3]

[nom-the-skel]

[vore] Black Cherry

Here is a weird and short thing about fox-Red and bunny-Razz.

tags/warnings: implied sex, willing prey, soft vore, seems like fatal vore but actually it’s not, fetishization of skelepreg but no actual skelepreg, idk what this is here read it :3

[on AO3]

Black Cherry

Razz collapsed against Red’s chest, spent. “Do you think it took?”

“I’m sure it took.” Red wrapped his arms around the smaller skeleton’s ribs—he still had his sweater and jacket on, himself, but the other was naked. “We did it about a dozen times.”

“You know what they say about rabbits. We have to be sure, because we only get one shot at this.” Razz grinned up at him, wiggling his long ears.

“Yeah—right. Are you—are you sure?”

“I’m always sure.” Razz pulled himself up to kiss Red. “Let’s do this thing.”

“Okay.” Red sat up a little, nuzzling and then licking at Razz’s skull, but when he began stretching his jaws around it, Razz pulled back. Red looked at him questioningly. Was he having second thoughts?

“Let’s do it the other way,” Razz said, already a little breathless. He hooked a finger under Red’s jawbone and gently guided him to sit up and then lean down on his front, fox tail waving in the air. Razz let go, and Red opened his jaws as Razz sat down in front of him, legs spread on either side of his skull. The possibilities of this position made Red blush, but Razz pulled his legs in and stuck his feet into Red’s mouth, heel bones sliding along his tongue.

He didn’t want to rush Razz, but as the urge to swallow became irresistible, Razz pushed himself forward. In perfect sync they cooperated to feed Razz’s legs down Red’s throat.

“You’re doing so well, Red,” said Razz as he lifted his tail bone onto Red’s tongue. “You can sit up now.”

Red did, tilting his skull back so that Razz had a straight shot through his mouth and down his gullet. Razz slipped a little deeper just from the new angle. He leaned forward, holding onto Red’s skull, almost hugging it, but careful not to stick any fingers in his eye sockets or pull on his ears. “I love you, Red.”

“Nnh,” said Red, unable to speak around Razz’s pelvis in his mouth. He flexed his tongue against the bone and Razz’s fluffy tail, trapped in between.

“I know you’ll make our kits perfect and strong. After all, they have me to feed on.”

Red shuddered and let him slip a little deeper, making him gasp.

“You’re right, I should say WE’LL make them perfect. But you’re going to have to do all the work. I get to just sit here and—digest.” His pelvis was lodged in Red’s throat now. “You can go a bit faster, you know,” Razz breathed, squirming a little. He had no purchase to push himself deeper now that the only thing he could reach was Red’s face.

Red gulped, eliciting a satisfying gasp from Razz and pulling his ribs partway in between his jaws. “Keep going,” the bunny panted. Red swallowed again, and Razz had to let go of his skull, instead resting his hands on the sharp teeth lined up with his collar bone. “That’s it, Red, don’t stop…!”

Red had to focus to get Razz’s ribs down his throat, Razz whispering words of encouragement the whole time. Finally Razz’s skull was resting on his tongue, his arms dangling awkwardly out between his teeth.

“Sans! What in stars’ name is going on in here?”

Red stared back at Edge in the doorway, then with a massive gulp drew Razz’s skull down his throat, pulling his arms in after him. It still took a few moments before he could speak.

“Stars, Boss, don’t barge in on us like that.”

“You ate him??”

“Course I did. We do that all the time. You know that.”

“He said you were going to—to digest him? And use his body—his magic—to make kits?”

“Don’t be silly, Boss, rabbits and foxes can’t interbreed.”

“I heard you!”

“We were just, y’know, roleplayin’. It’s a fantasy.” Red hiked up his shirt so that Razz was visible through the ecto-flesh of his belly. “See, he’s fine.”

“He’s not moving.”

“He mighta fallen asleep, but look, he’s happy in there. If he was gettin’ digested, it would hurt, right? You know I’d never do that to him.”

Edge growled skeptically.

“Hey, Boss, you know what would be a fun ending to this scenario? If another fox came and bred me and all Razz’s magic went to the fox’s kits instead of his.” He grinned lasciviously at his brother.

“What are you suggesting, Sans?”

Red winked. “If you wanna, y’know, join in.”

“You know what, I had better start dinner, sorry for interrupting you!” Edge left so fast he shut the door on his tail.