#sk8 the infinity comfort

[duckymcdoorknob]

oops self indulgence, sorry y’all.

Anyways- uh.

Here’s me grasping for any comfort bc I’m shit at letting myself feel things when others are grieving.

CW BELOW THE CUT: Mentions of d3ath, reader is grieving hardcore, but also hiding their emotions.

So for the person who… yk, they were special to you and everyone in the group, but you most of all. They can be seen as your mentor as well.

𝐾𝑜𝑗𝑖𝑟𝑜 𝑁𝑎𝑛𝑗𝑜

The day started as it always did. Time progressed as it always did. Evening went by as it always did, until you got the call.

You were alone, thankfully. You were seated at a skate park bench, watching as Reki and Miya desperately tried to match Langa’s trick. Observing Shadow laughing at their attempts, but always being there to help them up when they fell.

That’s when your phone rang.

Checking to see the contact, you noticed that it was a person that you barely spoke to. Someone you don’t remember ever having a conversation with over the phone.

You figured it couldn’t be a good sign, so you picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

Their voice was thick with remorse, heaving sobs as they muttered the earth-shattering news.

“(Name)… they’re gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re dead, (Y/N).”

The words hit you like a ton of bricks. You couldn’t feel anything in the moment, for you were far too shocked at the information you had taken in. “Oh no, I’m so sorry… is there anything I can do for you right now?” You managed to keep a steady flow of calm words.

“No… I just need to be alone for a minute. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

And with that, you were left in silence.

As the words finally struck deep, you found yourself covering your mouth with your hand. Using every ounce of strength you could muster, you kept your tears at bay.

It took you a while, but you finally managed to choke them back. With shaking limbs, you attempted to stand up from your bench.

However, your body wouldn’t let you. You fell back down, bracing yourself with your unsteady arms.

Cherry caught a glimpse in his peripheral, hastily stepping over to you. “What’s wrong? Why did you fall?” His words were sweet as his hands rested on top of yours.

You swallowed thickly, lifting your head. “The boys are going to be devastated…” You whispered, “(Name) is dead.”

It would be a lie to say that Cherry masked his initial shock perfectly. The pink-haired man definitely recoiled a bit, but nonetheless pulled you into a tight hug. “I’ll talk to the kids. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I know how special they were to you.”

Your head fell downward, the crown of it resting on the center of his torso. “I’ll be okay. I’m just worried about Miya and Reki.”

With a hand on your shoulder, Cherry replied. “It’s true that they wear their hearts on their sleeve, but please don’t let them be the reason that you don’t allow yourself what’s due.”

You lifted your head and smiled at him, “I won’t.”

Kaoru removed you from his hug, but kept a hand braced on your waist to help you up. “Let’s go talk to Kojiro.”

With Cherry’s help, you were able to slowly rise to your feet. The two of you took careful steps toward Joe, Cherry’s concerned gaze never faltering on your wobbly stature.

“Kojiro.” An emotionless beckon from his childhood friend gave Joe reason to believe that something was very wrong.

“What? What’s-“ his eyes turned to you, flicking between your clouded irises, and the hand bracing you upward. “Tell me what the hell happened, now.”

“Get the kids, it’s important.” Cherry replied in a monotone, not daring to lose his cool.

“Kaoru what the f-“

“(Name) is dead.” You answered stoically.

The green-haired male’s eyes widened. “Are they really?”

“Yeah. I’m just waiting to tell the boys.” You murmured. “Kaoru, I’m okay. I can stand now.”

“What are we going to do?” Cherry whispered to his companion.

“What we should. Hiromi will be able to at least keep them calm.” Joe cupped his hands around his mouth, “HIROMI! REKI! LANGA! MIYA!”

Upon hearing the urgency in Joe’s tone, the four males came quickly to where the three of you were standing.

“What happened?” Shadow asked, resting his board on his hip.

“I need the four of you to listen, and please take this seriously.” Cherry’s voice was yet to leave its low tone, further reminding you of how seriously he took the matter. “What I’m about to tell you is not going to be easy news.”

Hiromi placed his hand on Miya’s back and Langa carefully slid his hand into Reki’s.

“(Name) is dead.” The words flowed from Kaoru’s lips effortlessly as you closed your eyes to breathe.

Your heart shattered into pieces as you watched Miya instantly break down into fits of painful sobs. Shadow knelt down to hold the boy close to him.

Reki tried his best to hide it, but you quickly ran towards him and wrapped him in a hug as he slowly let out his cries.

“I know… it’s gonna be okay. I know how much they meant to you.” You muttered, carefully running your hand along his head.

Langa sat criss-crossed on the ground, going radio silent as Joe secretly placed a supportive hand on Cherry’s waist.

The news rocked the group’s world, but you still didn’t know how to process the information..

The next day came, and everyone grieved in their own ways. Miya refused to pick up his board, Langa still hadn’t said a word, Reki excused himself to the bathroom more often than usual, Shadow worked tirelessly to get the perfect bouquet for the grave, Cherry stress-cleaned the apartment that he shared with Joe, and the latter found himself working late almost every night.

You, on the other hand, were stuck in comfort mode. You wanted nothing more than for your friends to be happy again. You missed seeing their smiles, and being stuck in the middle of their antics. Worst of all, you were yet to cry. You were so worried about your friends having to comfort you in their time of need, so you chose to stay unbothered.

In reality, the memories came crashing in all at once, and you were greatly suffering. Due to your close relationship with (Name), the news affected you immensely. You just didn’t want to be the one being comforted when others needed it “more.”

After another day had passed, Joe suggested for the gang to come to Sia La Luce for dinner. With no surprise, everyone came. You were hurting, and had no outlet for help, so you weren’t exactly excited to go, but you figured the kids would need you.

Everyone was trying their best to keep high morale. Hiromi made sure to sit next to Miya, resting his hand on the boy’s back once again while they watched video game Easter egg videos. Reki and Langa were spectating Joe and Cherry’s veggie chopping contest in earnest.

You observed the scene with a smile; things seemed to be going back to normal. Your eyes drifted to the corner of the kitchen, then instantly flushed with tears. You had locked onto a photo of (name) with you and Joe. You couldn’t believe he kept it hung up…

“(Y/N)? What’s the matter?” Langa asked gently, eyes sympathetic as his words gained the attention of the two oldest males.

“Huh? Oh! Sorry! Just lost in thought I guess.” You let out a watery chuckle, attempting to stop your tears. To your dismay, they would not stop flowing down your cheeks.

“Hiromi, Kaoru.” Joe called, washing his hands. “Take the kids outside.”

“But Joe-“ Langa attempted to argue as he was being beckoned out of the door.

“(Y/N)’s safe with me. They’ll be okay.”

With that, you and Joe were alone in the restaurant. The green-haired male sat you down on one of the stools and took your hands in his. “Are you alright?” His voice was as soft as his gaze.

“I have to be.” You muttered absentmindedly.

“That’s not true.” He replied almost instantly, “You’re allowed to grieve too. (Name) meant the absolute world to you, and you to them. Just because we’re upset doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to be.”

To finish his words, Kojiro carefully wrapped you into a tight hug, running his hand along your head. “You’re allowed to feel your grief. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, and don’t you dare feel guilty for doing so.”

“I’ve got you… You’re gonna be okay, kiddo. Just let it all out.”

After the words of reassurance registered in your mind, your slow flow of tears turned into heavy sobs. Your pained cries broke Joe’s heart, but he knew you needed them. The man held you securely as you finally allowed yourself to lament.

For a good few minutes, there was nothing but anguished wails filling the silence in the room. And yet, there didn’t seem to be a need for words. It was painfully obvious that the kids were watching you through the window worriedly, but you ignored them.

After your tears almost subsided, you broke out of Joe’s embrace. “Thank you…” you whispered before going to open the door. Once you did, you were instantly pulled into a group hug from the younger boys.

As you hugged them back, you couldn’t help but notice Cherry placing a hand on a teary-eyed Joe’s shoulder.

You reached out and held his hand, squeezing firmly. You and Joe weren’t the closest of friends, but one thing was for certain: If he was there for you, you were there for him,

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

[tndo]

Bad day?

[pochiikou]

"At least we have this, we are not alone"

[arsoniiii]

hurt and comfort renga 👍

[ryanthel0ser]

Clutching onto Matchablossom as every other ship I love only hits me with angst daily

[isolabellz]

vacay

[mad-serotonin]

Late night sketches of this boy who totally has serious bruising that requires medical attention AND soft kisses and care from his bff

[thesoleilla]

Sk8 the infinity x reader who doesn't take care of themselves (platonic)

A/N: Okay I know I have A LOT of other things to write but a friend needed to hear this, and I'm making it public in case anyone else needs to hear it as well <3 take care y'all

Masterlist

You hadn't been feeling well lately. Everything felt so distant, so meaningless that you just didn't wanna bother.

And so slowly, your sleeping became less and less long; you even ate less as well.

But you didn't wanna think too much about it. It was just regular stuff after all, nothing to worry about.

Or so you thought.

You probably should have noticed the signs already when you pulled an all-nighter without wanting to randomly.

Yet, that didn't even ring any particular alarm to you. Not even a sound, maybe a singular neuron in your brain was questioning wether or not something was going on, but that was all.

On the other side, your skater friends were getting more and more worried.

Why is that you ask? Well your lack of sleep was causing dark bags under your eyes, your attention span was getting shorter and shorter, so much that you barely answered to your name

"Y/N! Y/N! HELLOOO?" Reki was practically shouting as he waved his hand across your face to try and get you to answer.

"Oh- uh…what..sorry, I wasn't listening" You tried to laugh it off, but you noticed it clearly wasn't working when you saw reki's concerned look on his face.

"Are you okay Y/N? We were worried about you!" He grabbed your shoulders to make sure he kept your attention as the others nodded in agreement to his last statement, the whole gang surrounding you.

"I'm fine…jeez, what did you guys get so worked up for?" You fought back the urge to yamn as you felt it would be contradictory to your statement.

"How many hours of sleep did you even get last night? You're even more of a slime than usual!" Miya added from the side as he took a step closer to you.

Reki turned to Miya as he spoke, then quickly turning to you again, his worry-filled eyes looking straight at you as he grabbed onto your shoulders a bit more subconsciously.

You were internally panicking. You really didnt wanna bother them with your problems…you just really didn't think they'd care all that much, that's all.

"Do you mean last night as in the last time I slept or as in the last time I should've slept?" You tried to use humor to your advantage again, but the strategy still wasn't working, they only looked more concerned!

Fast forward a few hours, you found yourself in bed, the whole squad trying to manipulate you into sleep.

"Y/NNN come on you need sleep!" Reki kept nagging you as you were forcefully tucked into bed by Miya and Langa

"I'm fiiiine..you guys worry for nothing" You laughed it off again, looking up at them as you tried to get up, an attempt which they stopped immediately

"Just when did you last eat?!" Reki sighed as he felt how weak you were when he stopped you from getting up

"I mean I ate some air..." you laughed. They weren't taking it as lightheartely as you did though.

Reki looked away from you for a second, looking over at everyone.

"Langa! Go get some food!" Lana nodded in agreement

"Miya! Go learn how to perform hypnosis in order to make someone sleep! And Joe, Cherry... you two... put on a dramatic soap opera to entertain Y/N while the others prepare everything!"

Long story short, you never got to pull an all-nighter ever again

A/N: Thank you for reading this! I hope this made you guys feel better! If this can comfort anyone then I'm more than happy I wrote this! Take care everyone, y'all are amazing<33

Also, this is the first time I write anything for sk8 the infinity, so it's my way to announce I now take requests for it! Though I'm really behind on my requests, so it might take a while to get to them

[overfanaticelise]

I’ve rewatched sk8 about 4 times by now and I will absolutely never get tired of it

[midnight-mistt]

Matchablossom is one character for the purpose of this meme, asking me to pick between them is actually criminal 😵

[twinksintrees]

i am fully gonna cry thinking about how easily kaoru fell asleep at kojiro’s restaurant

[moonlight0934]

Do Better

Miya stretches with a yawn. Reki and Langa are chasing each other around the skate park, arguing about something. Everything aches, even though he’s pretty sure that he hasn’t been overworking himself. He still doesn’t get up to join them, because while he’s not sure why his joints feel like jello, he��s still not planning on going out there and hurting himself. Reki eventually walks over with Langa nowhere in sight.

“Hey, why aren’t you joining us? Normally you’d be skating circles around us by now just to prove that you could.”

Miya rolls his eyes before casting them back down.

“I’m just tired.”

“Oh, really?”

Miya nods gently while still keeping his head tucked into his arm. In fact his joints are starting to feel like someone is chisling at his bones, but he doesn’t say that. He just keeps his eyes down and lets Reki think whatever he ends up thinking.

“Ok, well you can go home. We won’t get offended.”

“I know. Not that I would have cared if you got offended anyway.”

Reki rolls his eyes.

“Alright, fine. I’m going, but I’ll see you later if you decide not to leave.”

Miya hums before letting his eyes fall closed. He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but wakes up to Reki shaking his shoulder. The action hurts more than it should, and he can’t stop the hiss of pain from escaping his mouth.

“Woah dude, there’s no reason to make noises like that. I just wanted to let you know that we were heading to S now.”

Miya looks around, noticing that it’s dark outside. He sits up fully, biting the inside of his cheek.

“When did it get so late?” he mutters.

“I thought you were lying about being tired, but you fell asleep on this bench. Then stayed asleep the entire afternoon. Anyway, are you coming with us?”

“No, I’m going to go home.”

“Ok, see ya later then.”

Miya waves before grabbing his board and heading home. His mom is pacing by the time he gets in.

“Miya, baby, where were you?” She grabs his face, squishing him.

“Mom.”

She lets go of his face, but roughly grabs his shoulders. She’s still staring at him, and her grip is tight enough to hurt.

“I just got side tracked while I was out with my friends.”

“It’s almost ten at night.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Mom.”

“You know that I don’t want you out when it’s dark.”

Yeah, and that’s why I’m sneaking out of my window to go to an illegal skating ring.

“I know, Mom, and I’m really sorry. We were inside so I didn’t realize how late it was getting.”

“You know that I’m going to have to call their parents, right?”

Miya’s brain short circuits for a few seconds before he realizes that she thinks he’s talking about his old friends. The ones that he never told her he stopped hanging out with.

“You can’t,” he blurts out before his brain can really catch up with what he’s doing. All Miya can think is that she has to stop before his old friend’s parents tell her that they don’t talk anymore.

“Why not?” she asks, narrowing her eyes.

“Because it’s not the friends that you’ve already met.”

Her eyes brighten immediately.

“Oh, so you made new friends?”

“Yes, Mom. I made a couple new friends. You wouldn’t have their parents’ numbers. Actually, I’ve never even met their parents.”

“Ok, who are these new friends?”

“Their names are Reki and Langa. They’re a little bit older than me.”

“How old are they?”

“Reki’s sixteen, and I think Langa is seventeen.”

“That’s really old. How did you meet these boys?”

“They skateboard, and they were at the rink that I practice at on my days off.”

“Ok, well, you promise that you were safe?”

Miya nods, and she hugs him one more time.

“In that case, it’s ok. Just go get some sleep, and try not to do it again.”

Miya nods, then heads straight up the stairs. He doesn’t tell her that he didn’t eat, or that he feels like his body might fall apart at any given minute. He just throws himself into bed, and goes to sleep. He doesn’t feel much better when he wakes up in the morning, and his head feels foggy. He goes to get up, but ends up falling out of bed.

“Ow.”

Someone knocks on his door, and he calls, “You can come in.”

He’s still untangling himself from his bedding when his dad walks in.

“Hey, kid, what are you doing?” he asks.

Miya freezes.

“I was just trying to get up.”

“Well, you’re going to be late.”

“It’s Saturday, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have anything to be late to.”

“You have practice with your manager, and another interview today.”

“Do I have to? I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Either I’m sick, or I’ve just been overworking myself. I just feel off.”

His dad walks over and puts a hand on his forehead. He sighs as he stands back up.

“I know that things have been hard lately, but you need to follow through on the commitments that you’ve made. You don’t have to pretend to be sick.”

Miya closes his eyes for a second then says, “Ok, I’ll meet you outside. I just have to change.”

His dad nods, then walks back out. Miya stays on the floor for another few minutes. Then he gets up, changes, brushes his hair and teeth, then heads outside to meet his dad. The drive is quiet, and Miya has to force himself to stay awake for the whole thing.

His dad walks in with him, then says, “I’ll meet you here in a few hours. I have some errands to run, but I’ll be back to pick you up.”

Miya frowns.

“Can’t you stay?”

“Why?”

“I just don’t… I don’t know.”

“You need to get better at dealing with these things yourself.”

Miya stares at the ground.

I deal with everything by myself! I always had to do everything myself before I met my friends. I was always in charge, even as a child. 

He doesn’t say any of that, just heads inside without replying. His manager is waiting for him, already annoyed that he’s late.

“You have to learn to manage your time, Chinen.”

“I’m not normally late,” Miya mutters, but it’s not loud enough for anyone to actually hear him.

Even warming up feels hard. His joints ache, and his muscles are protesting his every move. His brain is still struggling to keep up with everything. His manager keeps yelling at him to hurry up. Miya doesn’t pay him any mind, doesn’t speed up, or even respond. By the time he’s done warming up, the news people are there, and he’s already exhausted.

“Since they’re already here, we have to do the interview first,” his manager says, and Miya just nods.

He listens to their questions about how he got as good as he is, and about his support systems, and how he balances normal life and this. He doesn’t really give an answer to any of these, just kind of non-answers. Everyone looks confused by the time they’re done, and his manager looks furious.

As soon as they’re gone, he says, “What did we say about your people skills?”

“That they suck, and I need to do better,” Miya replies though he’s not sure how he actually phrased it.

“You do need to work on that, but I didn’t say they sucked. Haven’t you been hanging out with more people recently? Shouldn’t that have helped, or were you lying to me about what you were doing?”

“I wasn’t lying. You do not want me to talk to them the way I talk to my friends though.”

“Whatever, just get started on your training. You know it’s a day to work on your new tricks.”

“I don’t want to. Can’t we do something else today?”

Something that won’t make my hands hurt.

“No. I know it’s hard, but you can do it. You’re one of the best people your age in the entire world.”

Miya rolls his eyes.

“You can cut the flattery. It’s not going to make me more cooperative. I’m doing it, but I’m not happy.”

He walks over to grab his phone. He texts his dad to pick him up, lying that they got off of practice early. His dad texts back almost immediately saying that he’s still busy, but that he’ll get there as soon as he’s done with his errands. Miya can just wait inside until he’s back. Miya puts his phone back then grabs his board.

He makes it through twenty minutes of training before his right hand gives out entirely. Since he was putting his weight on it, the balance shift sends his skateboard flying. He slams into the wall with a crack. His awareness fades for a second, and his manager is beside him when his vision comes back. His hand is throbbing terribly from where he hit the wall.

“I’m going to call your dad.”

Miya nods though he doesn’t say anything, because if he opens his mouth it is not going to be words that come out of it. It feels like a long time before his manager comes back over, holding his phone.

“He didn’t answer me, so I want to try calling him on your phone.”

Miya nods, then with his good hand, which is still shaking pretty badly, he punches in the code. His dad still doesn’t answer, so he takes the phone. He calls Cherry, putting the phone up to his ear.

“What’s going on?” Cherry answers, curt and to the point.

“Can you come pick me up?” Miya asks, aware of how bad he sounds. His voice is wavering, and he’s physically shaking hard enough to affect his voice.

“Yes, where are you?”

Miya gives him the address.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Those ten minutes feel eternally long, and his hand just keeps hurting more. Cherry looks worried when he comes in, and he looks even more worried when he sees Miya.

“Who is that?” his manager asks.

“What happened?” Cherry asks, kneeling down beside Miya. He hasn’t even looked at Miya’s manager.

“He was trying to nail a new trick, and fell. He hit the wall pretty hard.”

“Do we need to go to the hospital?” Cherry asks, gently taking Miya’s arm to look at it.

“I think so. I left my dad a voicemail while you were on your way here, so he can meet us there.”

“Alright, come on.”

Cherry helps him up, keeping an arm around him to make sure that he doesn’t fall.

Once they’re in Cherry’s car, he says, “So, what actually happened? Did you just fall?”

“No, I need to do better. If I did better, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Cherry frowns.

“Just walk me through what happened today, because Reki told us how off you were yesterday afternoon.”

“I think I’m sick, but everyone just kept telling me to do better. Have better people skills, and stop lying and faking. I didn’t know what to say to make them understand that I wasn’t lying. Then my hands gave out on me, and I practically flew into a wall. I think my wrist might be broken.”

Cherry winces, though his face is hard.

“I think I need to have a word with your father. Sending you to do this while you’re sick is absolutely unacceptable. Also I know that you’re not lying about being sick enough to warrant that being his first response.”

Miya looks down.

“You don’t have to talk to him. I probably shouldn’t have called you at all. This is a lot to ask already.”

“No it’s not. In fact, I’m going to call Kojiro to meet us at the hospital. I was with him when you called. He was really worried, and I said I’d call him once I knew what was going on.”

“You don’t have to ask him to come down here,” Miya asks as they pull into the parking lot.

“I know, and I won’t be. Once he hears what happened, he’s coming without anyone asking.”

Miya hums. They head inside, and Cherry calls Joe once he gets them checked in. The next few hours are spent waiting with Joe and Cherry. His dad shows up while he’s getting his hand X-Rayed. Miya can tell that they already ripped him a new one by the time he comes back.

“Was it broken?” Cherry asks gently, his tone soft.

Miya nods, and his dad immediately hugs him.

“I’m sorry.”

Miya nods against his shoulder, too tired to do anything else.

“Can we go home now?”

“Yes, I’ll do the rest of the paperwork while you stay with these two. Then we can go home, and we’ll wait to talk about this till tomorrow,” he says, glancing at Cherry and Joe.

“Ok.”

After he walks away, Miya turns back to Joe and Cherry.

“Thanks.”

“It’s no issue, kid. We’re always available for this kind of thing. Also, give me your address cause I want to drop off some food tonight.”

“Ok, but can you wait until tomorrow? I’m going to give my parents some kind of bullshit explanation for how I know you two, but I don’t want to do that until tomorrow. I just want to get some sleep.”

Joe nods.

“Of course.”

Miya smiles, even if just a little. 

[more-profound-bond]

When you're looking for a VERY specific fanfic you created in your head and you realise the only way you can actually read it is if you write it yourself

[diagnosed-with-the-sillies]

So, I did a quick search and it's not just Aniwave. Several anime piracy sites have just. Shut down. Disappeared.

https://www.cbr.com/anime-piracy-site-mass-shutdown/

So in other words, I'm fucked. Like, I'm a broke minor, I can't use any paid services!

And I know this sounds stupid, but it almost feels like I'm mourning. I've used Aniwave for a while and now it's just.. gone. I can't watch mha, which I've been watching for longer than I've been using Aniwave, I can't watch sk8 the infinity, which I just fell in love with...

I'm not sure what to do now...

[kennythetrampvamp]

I think he's gonna be ok with that

[howlingtides]

Reki comforts Langa on Langa's father's birthday (Langa's POV)

tags: hurt/comfort, grief, processing grief

Langa felt like he'd never really woken up this morning, sitting at his desk in class, eyes heavy. He'd hugged his mother before heading out, held her close and tight and imagined that he was taking away her pain, transferring whatever sadness she was feeling into himself so that he could carry it for her, even if it was just for today.

Reki had been quick to notice Langa's mood as Langa arrived at their usual meetup spot. He'd been late, and Langa was never late, and he'd been quiet, and though Langa was always fairly quiet, it was a different kind of quiet today.

It was Langa's father's birthday.

Reki, of course, had immediately asked what was up, and Langa didn't want to talk about it, at least not right now, so he'd lied and said he hadn't slept well and he had a headache and it really wasn't a lie, actually. He really hadn't slept well and his head did hurt.

It just wasn't the full truth.

Reki only half accepted that, knowing Langa too well to know that there was more to the story, but thankfully, he'd let it go. For now, at least.

They'd skated to school in mostly silence, and Reki offered to take Langa to the school nurse for some ibuprofen, but Langa had refused, said he was fine. Said he'd just take a nap during lunch.

The lines across Reki's forehead grew deeper.

Class was dragging. It felt like they'd been at school for days, and all Langa could think about was how they'd always go snowboarding on his dad's birthday and drink hot chocolate afterwards and how his dad always added way too many marshmallows and his mom would scold him for it but she would smile while she did it. And they would laugh about it and watch some terrible action movie that his dad claimed was a classic and his dad would fall asleep thirty minutes in and he and his mom would be stuck watching it, got sucked into it anyway, always watched it through to the end.

It was small and it was simple, but it was so utterly his dad that he couldn't help but smile to himself at the thought.

And suddenly he wasn't smiling anymore. Suddenly, his chest was tight and his headache grew and it was getting harder to breathe. Suddenly, his vision grew blurry as his eyes began to water and his skin was tingling all over.

Shit, Langa thought. Shit shit shit.

He grabbed at his chest, attempted to take a few deep breaths until one came out as a choked sob, and he quickly covered his mouth.

And then everyone in class was looking at him.

Reki was looking at him.

Fuck.

"Langa?" came the teacher's voice. "Everything alright back there?"

Students began to turn and whisper.

Reki, who had been doodling in his notebook, had gone completely still.

As the teacher began to approach him, Langa shot up, grabbing his backpack. "Not feeling well," he said, keeping his head down. "Going to the nurse."

He didn't wait for the teacher's approval as he strode out of the classroom.

***

Langa didn't go to the nurse. He didn't even go home.

He'd gone to the skatepark.

The wind was whipping through his hair and across his cheeks and against his shirt and it was the only thing that had managed to ground him since he'd broken down. The sound of the wheels, the caress of the breeze. He'd bailed on purpose a few times, the scratch of the pavement beneath his palms a welcome sensation, a reminder that despite his father's absence, he was alive.

Langa was still alive.

He'd been at it for about thirty minutes before Reki showed up.

He skated up to Langa, plopping on the ground next to him in front of the half pipe.

They sat there in silence for a minute until Reki eventually spoke up.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Langa didn't know what he did to deserve someone like Reki in his life.

"Today's my dad's birthday," he said.

It was all the explanation he needed.

"Shit," Reki uttered under his breath. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

Langa shrugged. "There's nothing to say, really."

"Of course you would say that," Reki said. "Langa. You clearly have a lot to say."

Langa frowned. "I don't think it works like that."

"What do you mean?" Reki pressed.

Langa thought for a moment. "I feel like I can't put my feelings into words."

And it was true. He couldn't. He just knew that he was feeling a lot and it had come out of nowhere. One moment, he'd been composed and quietly reminiscing, and the next moment, he felt like his chest was gonna explode. It was scary and confusing and he wondered if his mom had ever experienced the same thing, thinking about his dad.

He wondered how she was doing at work today.

Hopefully better than him.

Reki nodded slowly to himself, leaning his elbows against his knees. "Well, I'm here," he said, looking over at Langa, "if you feel like you wanna try."

Langa's eyes had only just dried, but they began to feel watery again at Reki's words.

"I," he tried, taking a deep breath as a tear tracked down his cheek. "I just. I can't." Another breath. "I just really miss him." He turned to look at Reki. "I miss him a lot, Reki."

Reki nodded again, listening.

Langa continued. "He was still so young. He still had so much left to give, so much left to teach me. It's just. It's not." Another breath. "It's not fair."

Langa was full on crying now, and Reki didn't waste any time. He pushed himself up onto his knees, pulling Langa into a hug.

Langa shoved his face into Reki's shoulder, grabbed at the back of his hoodie, did his best to remember to keep breathing as he let his emotions carry him. Everything felt so heavy, but Reki's arms were holding some of the weight, and a sliver of relief washed over him as he slowly tried to come back to himself.

Reki rubbed at the back of Langa's head, fingers gently combing through his hair. "What do you usually do," Reki asked quietly, "to celebrate?"

Langa sniffled, keeping his forehead on Reki's shoulder as he spoke to the ground. "We'd. We'd go snowboarding, then. Then drink hot cocoa," he said, "and. And we'd watch a movie. That he picked out."

Reki hummed in approval. "That sounds like a pretty rad birthday."

Langa huffed, pulling away from Reki enough to wipe at his nose. "Yeah," he said, "it was."

Reki put his hands on Langa's shoulders, dipping his head down to look at him. "What do you say then? Wanna celebrate?"

It took Langa a moment to understand what Reki was suggesting. His eyes widened. "Wait. Really?"

"Yeah." Reki said, smiling. "We obviously can't snowboard, but we can skate? Then we can stop by the store to pick up some stuff to make hot cocoa on the way home. Is your mom home? She can join us if she's up to it. And maybe we could all watch a movie?" He put his fingers on his chin in thought. "What kind of movies did he like?"

Langa couldn't believe this. This was. He just.

The weight lifted a little more.

"Bad action movies," he answered.

"Perfect," said Reki. He held out a hand to help Langa up. "I know just the one."