#sjbdkdnc lowkey hate this and might delete later

[clamped-jaws]

a/n: 18+ content below (kinda smut but not really but something that’s in between??) also i did not proof read at all sorry lol. 🫀🦂🪽

frank feels bad for keeping you holed up in a motel.

where sleeping on the mattress bare bones is better than the blankets “housekeeping” claimed to have had just finished up. where you have to beat against the ac just to get a semi-feeling of relief that came in the form of outside exhibition. but he keeps you there for your own good, half expects you to sleep the day away like a well-worn cat or swim in the shitty community pool that’s all full of half-baked residents and smashed-up beer cans.

you like the road more, you’ve decided that now. because there at least frank doesn’t have the excuse of going somewhere and being able to leave you behind like a man does their family dog on a trip to the grocery store. the life wasn’t easy. but it was yours. and in that, the extension of frank it meant that this life was safe. but when he comes back, he makes it all worth it.

you’re there, flicking cards into a hat across the mislabeled king-sized sanctuary because as it is you were done with the pool for the day. even after your shower, hair sticking to your back as beads of water trickle down your forehead. every swipe of your hand has amalgamated into you peeling your tank off as some sort of a reprieve. and he comes in thinking you’ll smile at him, but you don’t. you’re angry. this is the first time in four days you’ve seen him…you were worried, but now you just wanna fucking kill him.

and he hates making you feel that way.

that you need to care about him, make him feel like he’s actually needed besides what he’s already given. so he tries to do what frank does best when you’re like this. he throws off his boots, and kisses up your legs making you warmer than you already are. the sound of his body coming up against the bed as it dips and springs back up with a harshness you know all too well. “m’sorry sweetheart.” he mutters it into your skin like you’ll believe it this time like you always do. but you’re still playing your monotonous game of cards, trying to fight the battle inside your mind of wanting to have frank completely jump your bones and make you forget all that you’d been feeling.

you chew the inside of your lip instead of responding because you know if you do…you’ll break. cradle him in your arms and let him caress you till you're in his chest talking about all you’ve been feeling and wanting. of course though, you don’t wanna do that, don’t think he deserves it after he’s left you all alone after promising not to do that, you’re tied to what he is now, with whatever the hell he was a part of before. he said so.

you don’t know why you expected it to be true, that frank castle was anything but a liar. protection be damned, he knew what he was doing, how he made you feel. and you squirm when you realize he’s pulling your panties to the side, a harsh hiss comes from him and he’s looking up at you now. “can’t believe i left her all alone, you’ll forgive me won’t you?” and the thick motel room air hits your core and you let out a soft ghost of a groan before masking it with a cough. if frank hadn’t known better and wasn’t acutely aware of your body he wouldn’t have even noticed it. but you can’t let him win, can’t let him get away with the secrets and the missing days and you being stuck in this goddamn motel.

so you stay silent.

and he smacks his lips before coming up closer to you, peppering kisses on your core speaking up. “gotta make my girl feel better hm?” you sigh, your own body betraying you. “that what you want?”

he’s got you, he always manages to.

“fuck off frank.” you curse feeling that pit in your stomach, dropping more and more. like some sick rollercoaster ride, trapped in the seat waiting for the next loop, stomach going flat then full then flat again.

it’s this cat-and-mouse game, and you always end up in that damn trap, waiting to be eaten right up.

“at least i got you talkin’,” he mutters to himself with a smirk. he knows he’s gotta work for it, he’ll be there between your legs all night to make it better if he has to. there was no question about that.