#sitting in my drafts since SNL did hot to go

[cookies-sideblog]

Fire! Ice! Fire! Ice! Lightning! Earth!

These were the four weapons wielded by the First Master But we still need them for this snake disaster Oops! The guy who’s got them is super possessed Quick! Age up his son with a toasty beverage!

Baby, do you like TV? Like Avatar or TMNT? Dragons Rising is on YouTube for free, Unless you live in Britain, Cuz fuck you, Britain

N-I-N-J-A-G-O Jump up, kick back, round you go Real OGs danced to The Fold We remember, cuz we’re old N-I-N-J-A-G-O Jump up, kick back, round you go Triple axel, tornado Roll the credits! Ninja, go!

N-I-N-J-A-G-O 17 seasons of this show N-I-N-J-A-G-O When it ends, we do not know

Don’t worry ‘bout the lore, it’ll make your brain unravel They tried to fix this once already with time travel Where you see a hero, bad guys see a meal But no one* in this show ever dies for real *close enough

So, baby do you like this green? It spends a lot of time on screen Morro drowned, and she was squashed like a bee And Lloyd has PTSD, Yes, canonically

N-I-N-J-A-G-O Kai is cursed to be big bro Jay, he joined the Paw Patrol Cole can dropkick homophobes N-I-N-J-A-G-O Made of parts from Home Depot Turned herself into seafoam We don’t talk ‘bout Misako

N-I-N-J-A-G-O Skip the movie with Theroux N-I-N-J-A-G-O It was nothing like the show!

What’s it take to get some more arms? I’d really like some more height How’d you get this way, Mr. Garm? Keep both those torsos upright What’s it take to make that dollar, And get a toy line ahead? Bought these hardened plastic warriors But I made them kiss instead

N-I-N-J-A-G-O Makes more money than Duplo* *my source is that I made it the fuck up N-I-N-J-A-G-O Little guys with hands that glow N-I-N-J-A-G-O Line them up: it’s a rainbow! N-I-N-J-A-G-O Fruity ninjas in Lego

Whew, I want a musical episode, does anyone else want a musical episode? Whoo, is this something the people want? Okay, the cast can sing, somebody call Doc and Kevin.