#sitting cuties plush

[flimsy-roost]

I'd like to talk about the latest Pokemon Center plush line!

I tend to avoid official nintendo merch, because I give that company enough of my money already. But White was the first Pokemon game I ever played (after saving my allowance for months for it and a used DS lite), so I have a very special place in my heart for gen5/Unova pokemon. When I heard they were releasing a line of Unova "Sitting Cutie" plushes, I wanted to at least check it out.

And I did! And I mildly disappointed my wallet! There are some bangers in here! But there are a lot of... decidedly un-bangers. Tippy-tappers at best. So I wanted to take the time to walk you through some of the ways this line fell short of its central claims: namely, Sits and Cuteness.

"Sitting"

I'd first like to address the distinguishing claim of the line; that each of these plush can sit up unsupported (or, more generously, could be propped up stably).

It would be easy to only give examples of pokemon that shouldn't have been considered for this line at all, of which there are many:

fig. 1) in what universe, praytell

But there were many more that were so, so close to plausibility in the face of physics, that really only needed a modified design direction.

Let's compare Eelektrik (left) to Serperior (right). Eelektrik is extremely top-heavy and prone to tipping, problems which could perhaps have been mitigated by a coiled design (like Serperior), or even as a flat. It could be argued that the current form stays true to the original art, which should always take precedent. I see you, and I hear you, and I disagree

A skosh below the "no way in hell" category of sittability, lay a group of lesser design sins broadly defined as "questionable in the face of a stiff breeze." For many plush in this category, the product designers could learn a thing or two from Toxel:

fig. 2) a well-balanced bean

Put another way, the popular rule-of-thumb "four on the floor," most commonly begged for in the context of starter evolution lines, may be applied to great effect:

Top-heavy Golurk? Four on the floor!

Tall, spindly, misguidedly "source-accurate" Genesect? Four on the floor!

Think of his poor Tepiggy spine! FOUR ON THE FREAKING FLOOR

Purrloin, look! Your big sibling has it down! Get at that generational knowledge, girl!

"Cuties"

I'm not aware of a single official merch line in existence that lacks at least one cursed artifact. Plush are particularly susceptible, and this line is no different.

While I have to give the designers props for a perfectly lovely Mienshao, they canonized my bestie as having a cringe childhood:

All this Mienfoo wants are uppies. How's she gonna kick ass when her feet go straight into her torso? Her glowup will never come if she can't even land a pound.

Entire evolution lines fell prey to design decisions here. Please compare gen5 Elgyem and Beheeyem to their inbred and deformed purebred domesticates:

fig. 3) has IV breeding gone too far?

Let us also more closely examine the full Sandile evolution line compared to wild type examples, as I consider these among the least forgivable offences:

Why is the plush Sandile so sad? Perhaps he knows what is to come.

Where sass? Why snoot so droop????

NO MY CREATCHURE?????? NO NONONO NOT THE SNOOT!!!!!!!

figs. 4-6) look how they slaughtered my boy

Finally, I would like to highlight a subset of the line that has Witnessed The Horrors. These are more subjective in their cuteness. You know the saying; one man's uncanny gremlin is another man's terrified blorbo.

Meet Drilbur, who has recently Seen Some Shit!

fig. 7) the boy who inspired this post, with WT reference

The bug-eyed-ness is what tips this into horror movie prop for me personally. I should not be able to see both his eyes from a diagonal. I could understand how some people could find him endearingly goofy, but my litmus tends to be: would I be amused to open my eyes to see him in the dark at 3am, or would I shit my pants? Drilbur here leans towards the latter.

Here is an example of a shell-shocked friend I find cute:

Crustle, normally hiding safely under their rocky shell, is leaned back to fulfill the barely-followed criteria of "sits," and so turns their eyes to god to ask why he has forsaken them. I love it.

BONUS CONTENT: KERMIT DEINO!!!!

:D

[goobersplat]

Pokemon Wurmple Sitting Cutie

[dailyespurresso]

The leak in my room is fixed! All of the espurrs have been redisplayed! The new sitting cuties look so good!

[good-pokemon-center-reviews]

[plushieanimals]

⭐️ pokémon sitting cuties - unova ⭐️

[melonthesprigatito]

A+ advertising, I haven't laughed this hard at a promotional banner before

They could not have picked a more perfect line. It's the X and Y Sitting Cuties. It's a meme so famous that even non Pokémon fans reference it, the meme that spawned from Pokémon X and Y

It's also the cheeky feckers running the website poking fun at the fact it took months for these heavily anticipated plushies to be released.

[milo-melon]

My prized Archen collection all 3 official plush of the guy

Easily distracted by a kitkat

[swattus]

THE SITTING CUTIES ARRIVED!!

[plushpile]

pokemon bat sitting cuties my beloved

[bunniesbearsandadventures]

[toxicmons]

BEHOLD

skoopi :3

[curewhimsy]

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers

[waterlullaby]

this basket is perfectly noivern-sized!

[mylifetherant]

The Pokemon Plush line "Sitting Cuties" is so funny to me cause you'll have some that are like

Ah yes, these boy sure be sitting!

But then you get to the mons who dont actually have legs and its just

Uhhh...the spikes can be like legs right?

Shit. Fuck. Thats just a sword.

I MEAN SURE I GUESS THEYRE SITTING!

[wishchip106]

I ACTUALLY NEED THIS GUY SO BAD IM SO SERIOUS

HE NEEDS TO BE THROWN AGAINST A WALL 😭😭😭🙏🙏

i’m debating whether to wait for my birthday or to just buy it now…

[plushieanimals]

⭐️ gen 6 pokemon fit ~ sitting cuties ! ⭐️

✨ releasing in japan on 6/15! ✨