#sitting alone in the dark thinking about the deaths he couldn't prevent. thinking about a child who will never know their mother because he

[martyrbat]

batman confidential #1

[ID: Alfred Pennyworth walking down the stairs into the Batcave—where Bruce Wayne sits in the dark and in his costume with the cowl pulled down. Alfred announces, “Coffee, eggs benedict and The Daily Planet, Master Bruce. I took the liberty of presuming you would be taking breakfast in the cave this morning.” Alfred sets the tray down on a nearby table as Bruce silently holds a gun up without looking at him, his finger still on the trigger. Alfred gasps, “Master Bruce? That gun, is it...?” He trails off but Bruce speaks up. “The one he used. That night. On them. I took it from the G.C.P.D. evidence depository last year... there was nothing more they could learn from it.” Bruce unloads it, letting a bullet clank to the desk before he picks it up and stares somberly at it. Alfred stiffens up as he asks, “I see. And what precisely did you hope to achieve by stealing your parents' murder weapon, if may be so bold as to inquire...? Beyond an increased capacity for morbid introspection, that is.”

Bruce elaborates, “He fired two rounds. 117-grain hollowpoints... twenty-five cents apiece from any gun store. Is that all their lives were worth, Alfred? Fifty cents of ammunition...? He left four rounds in the clip, one in the breech, dropped it and ran—afraid to finish what he started. And I just stood there. Helpless.” Alfred tells him, “The good your parents did lives on, Master Bruce. And I, for one, am glad he left those final rounds in the gun. I happen to believe the world is better served for having you in it.” Bruce still doesn't look at Alfred or acknowledge the kind statement. He'll go on to explain that a young mother was murdered while he was on patrol and that he blames himself for not preventing it. END ID]

[codfanficedits]

Final tribute

If you're looking for a sign to stay alive, this is it.

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader

Summary: Suicide.

Wordcount: 4968| Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: SUICIDE, mentioning of self-harm, mentioning of shoplifting, mentioning of a fucked up childhood.

A/N: Today (third of November) marks the 9 years anniversary of my best friend killing herself. It has taken me years to come over the guilt, and even 9 years later I still wonder if I could've prevented this. But I couldn't and she is gone. In a way I hope she'll live forever through me and my stories. We were teenagers, having to cope with shit that adults couldn't even cope with. I love you and even though you'll always stay 19 you're still my best friend. Until we meet again. A/N 2: If you're struggling yourself. Please know that life will be worth it, the sun will shine on you too one day, and you'll find the joy in life once more. I've struggled with suicidality and sometimes I still do. But. It. gets. better. I promise.

The silence lingers in the air as he sits on the chair next to your bed. You’re sleeping, getting some much deserved rest, but he can’t help but be angry at you. Angry for attempting, angry for not sharing what was going through your mind, angry at the professionals, for just letting you go again. But his anger gets replaced by guilt as he watches you sleep. Because if you were to die, it would’ve been his fault, at least to Simon.

Except that it wasn’t his fault. You just weren’t made for life and you knew it. Depression had been weighing you down since your teenage years, following you like a ball and chain into adulthood. No matter how much you tried, how hard you tried to fight it, it was a losing battle. A cruel dance with fate. Simon’s eyes wander around the self-harm scars that cover your body, a reminder of your battle, a reminder of every time your mind won the battle against your will to live.

As Simon’s guilt deepens, tears fall from his eyes. You always used to tell him “a cry a deep keeps the demons away.” So, he cried. You had always used your humour as a shield to cope, as a shield to keep people out of the dark abyss of your mind. No one would suspect a thing if you just kept joking about it.

It was a painful realisation – the guilt, but also the truth in those words. It was what he missed most about you, your smile, your warmth, your kindness. He misses your wisdom the most. Maybe if he had tried to understand you more, none of this would be happening. His heart ached with regret and longing.

Simon felt lost. He remembered your humour, but he could never make the thoughts leave his head. How you were always so lively and funny, but had suffered in silence for so long.

This had worried you the most. Not the dying alone part, you had made peace with dying alone a long time ago. But the failing of your plan, and how it would hurt the people around you.

He knew you hadn’t meant to hurt him, but he didn’t think he could find the way to forgive you yet. As for himself, he felt he could never forgive himself for not noticing earlier. How close you had been to death. How far he had allowed this to go, without a single moment’s notice. Not that this would’ve changed anything for you, you would’ve done it either way. With or without him noticing. The depression that had been brewing in you for more than a decade was a ticking time bomb, being set off without anything mayor happening. But this had been a messy attempt, your mind too crowded to think properly, the pain of being alive too much to bear. So you had made mistakes, mistakes that caused your attempt to fail. Mistakes that would make you hate yourself even more. Mistakes that would be carved into your skin the moment you had the chance. Simon couldn't help but feel your attempts to hide your depression had been his fault. Had he not made you believe you had to? Or was this merely some cruel trick his mind was playing on itself? He wanted to hold your hand so badly, to feel your warmth, to tell you he loved you. But you were sleeping. His guilt consumed him. He began thinking of every moment you had been depressed, every instance he hadn't helped, every time he hadn't noticed a thing. But truth be told, you would never had let him help you, your depression had been weighing you down, pulling you under the surface while you desperately tried not to drown.

But drowning is a silent thing to do.

And you, you felt as if the whole world had to be carried on your shoulders. Professionals had failed you, and friends were not made to carry such a heavy load. So you carried it all by yourself, allowing yourself to slip under the surface of the water. Simon was terrified. The idea of you suffering in silence hurt him more than he ever imagined it would. He wanted to tell you how much you affected the lives of those around you. How he had looked up to you for your wisdom, your humour, your honesty. How you had brightened his days just by being there. He also wanted to say how sorry he was for not noticing your depression sooner. But you weren't awake. So he stayed beside your bed, waiting. Hoping. Praying that you would live.

The disappointment of being alive would wash over you soon enough, and you would have to live with that disappointment, a disappointment to yourself and your friend. Your eyes flutter as you begin to wake up, the sunlight burning through your closed eyelids, the pain you feel a reminder that you’re alive. But you don’t want to open your eyes. You can’t face reality, not yet. A wave of relief washed over Simon as he felt you stir. He was still angry, worried, confused, but he couldn't keep the smile from his face. He reached for your hand, wanting to hold on to the life he had thought he lost. Wanting to hold on to you. Wanting to let you know just how much you meant to him.

"Don't leave me again."

You can’t answer him, not yet. You have to deal with the disappointment of being alive first, before you can tend to him.

Fuck

How you wished you were dead, how you wished that you had succeeded, how you wished you had finally found your peace. You turn to your side, curling up as a ball, the sobs that leave your lips are raw, violent even. As if your soul got broken open and you can’t stop your feeling from pouring out. As Simon watched you curl up into a ball, his heart ached. He could feel your hurt, your anger, your pain, and wished he could take it away from you. And he felt you needed this, this release, this raw feeling. But he also understood how much you disliked your existence. How unfair this life had been to you. How many times you had been disappointed by it all. By other people, probably. But he hoped in the end, you would know how much he appreciated and cared for you. Your tears didn’t stop, by all means they just poured harder, more violent. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did you have to be alive? Your feelings turn into anger, angry at yourself for failing, for staying alive, angry at the universe for playing these cruel tricks. “Fuck, Simon.” You sob. “I can’t do this.” Simon felt his anger dissipate, replaced by worry. He couldn't see you this way. So hurt. So depressed. So angry at the world, at life. That anger had always been the first thing he thought of when he pictured you, but not like this. Not the world's anger. Your own. "Hey hey, it's alright." He sat down next to you. "We can get through this together. Just me and you, like always." And that was when, for a moment, he almost believed it.

But you can’t, you don’t want to. You had been trying to get through it, with him, without him. But you’re tired. Tired of trying not to drown when the world is pulling you under. So, so, so tired. “I don’t want to, Simon.” You whisper and your voice sounds tired, as if you’ve been up for days. “I can’t fight anymore.” "Stop." he whispered, his heart aching. This wasn't the reality he wanted to admit, but it was one that was hard to deny. "Please, can't you see how many people care about you? I'm not talking about friends and family, I'm talking about me. Don't you think seeing you like this hurts me?" He knew you were tired. He knew you wanted to just disappear from the world of pain and suffering. And so he tried one last time. "Don't disappoint me." You squeeze his hand, to the point that your own hand starts to hurt from the power. You could see the pain in his face. The pain you had caused. And the guilt hit you like a ton of bricks. You feel so selfish, like you always have been.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through this.” "Stop... stop apologizing." He felt you squeeze his hand, and took it as a sign of hope. Perhaps there was still a chance, even at your lowest, to fight for life. "I'm your friend. I'll always fight with you, even when you can't fight anymore. Especially then. Maybe we can learn how to fight this together." He hoped it wasn't too far gone. He didn't want to lose you to the darkness. But what would you do if it wasn’t apologizing? It was all you did. Apologizing for existing, apologizing for not being good enough, apologizing for being depressed. For being alive. You give his hand a softer squeeze. “Thank you, Simon.” You mumble. “Thank you for being here, and I’m sorry if I’ve let you down.” "You've never let me down," he whispered back. His eyes were soft, and his expression gentle. All the anger, guilt and disappointment had vanished. He was thinking of you, how hard you had tried — harder than most would. He knew this. He felt this. He couldn't blame you for wanting an escape. An escape he wished he could provide.

"Don't you see? You're the strongest person I know. You're the last person to need to apologize."

His words. No matter how kind they were. They didn't register. You understood them, they were words you could even tell to others. But those words weren't meant for you. Not to someone like you.

So you laid there, curled up in a ball, the disappointment of being alive weighing on you. But they were meant for you. They were for you. Because even when you felt broken, he saw you as strong. When you were tired, you were resilient.

"Let me come a little closer." Simon shifted closer, trying to place his hand on your arm. He wanted to hold on. He wanted to feel you. Your warmth, your touch, your comfort in his hand.

You were hurt, but he wanted to hold that warmth, hold on to you. Because it felt like a treasure to him.

"Rest," he told you. And he meant it; he wanted you to take a break. You were so tired, so full of self-destruction.

He stayed with you in that bed, even as he felt your strength slip away. He wouldn't leave you until he was sure you could fight back. You would fight back, and he would do whatever he could to help you, to make the world a more bearable place. To give the light inside your soul room to heal.

And so your first attempt ended like this. With Simon holding you.

But you were broken, broken beyond repair, and one attempt turned into two, turned into three. All while Simon's life just continued. His missions, his deployments. And there you were. Feeling like a burden again. Simon felt his heart sink with each attempt, his anger growing with each disappointment. It made him feel powerless, unable to help you get better. To show you how much the world needed you. How much he needed you. "Not again..." His voice trembled with tears, a look of desperation on his face. He wanted you to recover, but felt hopeless. He felt that maybe he had already failed you, but didn't dare think it. Because if there was a chance for you to survive... he wanted you to take it. It must've been exhausting for him too. Not knowing if a call from you was just to catch up, or if he would hear just sobs, and rambling about how you couldn't take it anymore. How he had spent hours and hours talking to you. Unable to cope with the guilt of something would've happened to you.

But he was only human, and humans can only take so much.

You look at your phone. Tears streaming down your face as you had called him. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing..." He sighed. "I can't take this anymore. You can't keep doing this. Can't keep hurting yourself, can't keep hurting others, can't keep hurting me."

He didn't want to shout, but for the first time his anger began to surface. He wanted to see you get better, but his hopes were dwindling. "Just... please." Simon was at a loss of words. "How can I make you feel better about all this? What do you need?"

His anger was justified. In your attempt to stay longer on this earth you were dragging him along your misery.

"I'm sorry!" You repeat again, as the tears roll down your cheeks. "I don't know Simon." You hated that you had called him, once again. He was on deployment, unable to help you.

"Can you let me go?"

Simon felt his stomach knot. "Absolutely not." He knew his anger could hurt you, but had to hold on to his hopes of saving you. Because he had promised himself he wouldn't let you escape like this.

"No. No way." He let his voice raise, his anger making him feel stronger. "I am not letting you go." He would not hurt you further, but he would also not let you give up. He had to try.

A decision was made.

And you took a deep, deep breath. "Right." You mutter. "I'm sorry, again."

You wipe away your tears. "I know you're busy. And I really don't want to bother you. But can we just talk? Talk about our time at high school?" "Always." Simon smiled softly as the knot in his stomach disappeared. He felt more hopeful now that he had gotten your attention, and felt his anger melt away. "You know you're never a bother. How I wish the only thing I had going on was to speak to you." He tried to joke, but his concern for you clouded his humour.

"Tell me the first thing that comes to mind. High school. Any memories."

A soft sigh left your lips. You could hear his concern. You could hear your heart crumble when he joked about all the things that were going on, and how you were just another add on to that pile. But you pushed it away. This phone call had to turn into a light one. One without more worries.

"Remember how we met?" You ask. "In our self-defence class. You were brand new and I was a black belt. We hit off immediately, and then it turned out we went to the same high school." A smile formed on your face. Better times.

"I remember us secretly smoking behind the building." You snicker. Simon's smile broadened, the memory coming back to him as if they were there a second ago.

"I've always wondered what would have happened if I didn't go to that class." The smile faded again, replaced by thoughtfulness, as Simon considered how different his life would have been. He likely would have never met you. "I wasn't as tough as you remember, I was just taller." He chuckled. "I remember my first day, and you told me about your past. And you asked me about my life — which I was very quiet about then. What else do you remember?" You can’t help but chuckle. "Yeah we definitely did some trauma bonding. Two people with a fucked up childhood."

You clear you throat. "I'm glad we both managed to escape our homelife."

At the mention of trauma bonding, the smile dropped from Simon's face. It was true, it was how you had bonded. And it was one of the worst ways to bond. But he knew you were still thinking about it, and didn't want to change the mood of the call. "Don't think about that," he said. "Come on now, we can't let a shitty childhood ruin our lives." He was one to talk. Running away at eighteen to join the military. You both knew that your childhood would haunt, till the end of times. But you dropped the subject. Not in the mood to ruin this phone call. "Yeah yeah." You mutter.

"I remember you sneaking out of school to shoplift a can of coke." You laugh. "I was so goddamn worried you'd get caught." "Not as worried as me." Simon laughed. "I didn't get caught, though. So my criminal record is still clean... for now." "Although it is a miracle you never got caught. I don't think I've paid for a single can of coke in my last year of high school, thanks to you."

Simon felt his spirits lift, as he recalled all the stolen sodas you and him had split. It had gotten harder to sneak them in as you went up the year grades, but you had enjoyed those stolen moments of sweetness together.

For a few moments, it was as if you were still in those high school halls. Stealing drinks, telling each other about your past, and trying to escape your family life by spending all your time together. But now you were far apart, and there were other problems in your lives. Life had changed. "God. We were idiots." You sighed. "The amount of times we skipped school just to hang in the park and smoke."

"I still don't get how we graduated." You add with a smile, the phone call was helping to take your mind off things.

"We were almost too late for our math final." "We were extremely late for our maths final," he corrected. "But it got us through, didn't it?" He chuckled nervously, thinking of how close you came on several occasions to being kicked out.

"We weren't idiots. Life was just hard." He sighed, his eyes growing softer with each word, "We just needed to find ways to escape. And somehow, we made it." He knew you were feeling better, and thought for a moment. Perhaps he did want to push you a bit, to help you heal.

Of course you remembered, life had been hard for the both of you, yet somehow he had managed better.

"Somehow we made it." You repeat. "Thanks for staying on the phone with me, Simon. I know you're busy, and I'm feeling better right now. I'll keep you updated through text, okay?" "The day you don't call me on your lowest is the day you stop being my friend." Simon tried to joke. He wanted to lighten the mood, but also make you feel wanted. It was important to him that you did not feel like a burden.

"And don't apologize. Your emotions are the most important to me... don't push them away. I just wish I could be there to hold you through it all."

"You don't have to rush." Simon added, a sense of finality to his words.

"You staying on that call meant more than you'll realise." You said. "I'll text you soon okay? Take care Simon."

You ended the call, with a soft smile. Outgoing call: 57 minutes and 26 seconds. It did you more good than you had expected.

Simon sighed. Although it had been a long call, it felt like it had gone by in a flash. He kept thinking about that joke he made, about the day you stopped calling him on your worst days. And how he didn't want that day to ever come.

He knew you had been hurt too much in your life, so he was happy to keep being with you. To keep talking, to keep lifting you up again. He thought he had succeeded, too. Maybe you wouldn't try to hurt yourself again.

"I'll talk to you later." He muttered to himself.

You did feel better. Your house got cleaner, you started going out more. No longer calling in sick to your job that often.

You snapped a pick of a sunrise, sending it to Simon. "Made me think of you." You texted before you went on with your day. A little check in to let him know you were okay. He smiled as he read the message, feeling his heart lift as he read it. It was more than just a little message to Simon. It was what he needed to see, to know you were recovering, and happy. To know that all of the time and effort he put into helping you was paying off. He wanted to tell you right now that he was proud of you, that he was happy for you. But maybe you didn't need that yet. So, he kept it to himself for now. He responded with a simple "Thanks" message.

You did it every day. Usually in the morning. Sunrises. A flower. A dog. Anything that made you happy. And he usually responded with a "Thanks." But that was enough for now.

Your therapist applauded it, and that made you happy too.

You crouched down during one of your walks. Making a picture of one of the first fungi you had spotted during her walk. You send the picture to Simon.

"First one! When is your next deployment?"

Simon was glad for the daily pictures, and did his best to keep it up. He wanted you to feel like you were important to him, so he had to try and be more attentive to your messages. He stopped in the hallway as he read your latest message.

"Uh, this weekend. For three weeks." He texted.

He wondered if he should say more, but did not want to overwhelm you. He was happy already. You were alive, and looking at flowers and fungi. You were feeling better.

Ah. Three weeks. You knew he didn't have any service while deployed. Something with safety and all that. But you didn't mind. The cold November air hit your face, and it made you feel alive. You took a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill your lungs.

"That sucks :(. I'll keep sending you the nice things I find on walks, even if you can't see them right away." You texted back.

Simon was glad you understood, and didn't want you to think he didn't care. He tried not to think about the length of the deployment, or the fact that he would likely not be able to talk to you for three weeks. But it didn't matter, because you were recovering.

"Send whatever photos you want, I won't be able to respond, but I will love looking at them." He texted. "Three weeks go by faster than you'd think. I'll be home before you know it."

You did the math. He would be gone on the first of November. And he would be back around the 22nd.

"Do you think you'll be home for Christmas? It’s been a while since we celebrated together." You texted him back.

Your text felt like a punch to the gut. It was true, it had been a while since you had celebrated Christmas together. Your last Christmas together had been two years ago, and it had been an awkward one at that.

Simon tried to put on a brave face. "I'm going to try." He texted. "If I'm lucky, I'll be back late December... maybe even early." He wondered if you would take these answers well, or if he had just made things worse.

"That's great. We'll work the details out when you're back from deployment, no worries." You texted back. There was a light spring in your step as you walked to your job. As if the weight of the world had fallen off your shoulders. "I'll text you tomorrow before you leave for your mission :)"

"Sounds good." Simon was glad to see you in high spirits again. "Talk to you soon."

You and Simon continued to exchange photos for the remainder of the week. He sent you images of training exercises, and you sent him photos of birds, and flowers. It was the highlight of both your days. On Saturday morning, the day before Simon was to depart for the mission, he sent you a voice message. He was standing in his room, as he talked.

"Hey. How are you today?" Some days you just exchanged pictures. The others you had whole conversations. But that was okay, you understood he was busy, and you didn't need his attention all of the time. You smiled when you got his voice message, it was nice to hear his voice again.

"Simon! I'm good, best I've been in a while." You answered through a voice message. "How are you? What time are you leaving?"

"I'm glad." That was always Simon's response, when he heard you were doing 'well.' He had grown to love seeing your photos, and the few conversation you had together throughout the week kept him going. He sounded excited when he spoke, and you could hear a little of the anticipation in his voice.

"Leaving in 20 minutes." He sent. "I'm feeling pretty good, to be honest. A little nervous, but I'm looking forward to the mission."

"You're a good soldier, Simon." You responded through your voice message. "Those three weeks will be over in no time, and when you're back we can go plan Christmas. In the meantime. I'll send you my daily pictures, so you have something to look at when you get back." You added in another voice message

Simon smiled when he heard you call him a good soldier. It felt nice, to be recognized. And to be seen.

He sent back one message that simply said, "Thanks."

He got ready for the mission, grabbing his gear and getting into his squad vehicle.

As he drove in quiet, he thought about planning Christmas. It felt nice, looking forward to things. Maybe you and him could go on a little trip, or do something fun together.

He was optimistic, and couldn't wait for the next three weeks to be over.

On November first you send him a picture of a sunset.

"Reminds me of you. I miss you :)"

But you got no answer, knowing he was out in a mission and had no reception.

On November second you send him a picture of a dandelion, a cat, and the moon.

"Even though we're apart we're looking at the same moon."

And again you got no answer, but you knew he had no reception.

On November third you send him a selfie, a smile on your face.

"I will miss you Simon. Take care. I will always love you. You've been a great friend. You've been my best friend."

On November third you put your phone back on your desk before you left your home. The walk to the train station was short. You had led them all on, but it was your time to leave.

You had held on to life as long as you could. But you were done. You were tired. You couldn't live another day, but at least he would have some good memories of you.

"I'm sorry." You mutter as you saw the train approaching.

One deep breath.

You and Simon always had a habit of sending photos to each other. Especially of the sky. Simon felt a sinking feeling come over him as he saw your last pictures. It was a beautiful sunset, but the words you chose had taken away much of its beauty.

"God damn..." He whispered as he read your message. "Is this what I think it is?" He started getting a thousand thoughts at once, all flooding through his brain.

What could he have done?

Should he have said something different?

You were going to be okay. You were getting better.

Nothing. Nothing could've been done. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't the fault of your therapist. No one was at fault.

Some people just weren't made to grow old, and you were one of them. Your depression had haunted you and had finally taken you to the dark abyss. You were finally at peace.

Simon tried to push away the thoughts of all you were going to miss. All of the life you were going to miss. He could not believe it. He simply couldn't. The person he tried to cheer up, was gone. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault... He kept repeating that to himself, but deep inside he knew that had always been true. He had done all he could. All he had been able to. And that would never be enough to make you stay. Simon's eyes were growing red, but he tried to keep himself strong. It had only been hours after you died, and he was already questioning everything.

"I'll remember you." He said, to no one. He thought of all of the times he tried to help you, the pictures you sent him. The jokes. the little conversations you shared. He couldn't believe it. Simon tried to dial you, to call you, to call for an answer. But he knew that there was nothing he could do now. Nothing but hope that heaven was real. Nothing but hope that he would see you again. Nothing but hope that this was all a horrible joke, a sick nightmare.

The photos of the sunset, the cat, the moon, all lay in front of him. They looked like a cruel joke. Like reality's cruellest and sickest joke of all.

You weren't supposed to end.

[rosemary-morgan]

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 5)

(Pictures found on pinterest/google. That one with Javier is mine. Collage made by me 🌺)

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹

Chapter five is online 🖤 thank you so, so much!! All of you, for your support. You don't know how much it means to me 🌺

Tag list: @fangirl-ramblings @rose-of-black-blood @livingdeadgirly @coaxium-captain-rex @12timetraveler @butterballchannie @charlesjaviersimp @ashethesimp @planetahmane @snoowply @sylum @noodle-tm @karmashatty @nadnad09 @lill2350 @slightlyexpiredyogurt8 @natnuszsstuff @boniscute @books-arebetterthan-boys @pedropascalluvr69 @blackrosegarden6 @sie-werden-nie-vergessen @inlovewithjavierescuella @red-dead-flowers @ezzythereal1 @livvnob

If anyone of you want to be tagged to not miss the newest chapter, please let me know 🙏 And sorry again, if there are errors with the Spanish words. Please tell me if so. Thanks 🖤

👉Read Part 1 /Read Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6

Warning: Full of angst, mention of death! Trigger warning!! Child lost!

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 5)

Now your dark secret was revealed. Just like that, without you being able to prevent it. It wasn't right of John to do that! You would never forgive him for that. You couldn't even look Javier in the eye anymore, because it felt like you had betrayed him. But he was looking to you, looking for the truth, looking for anything to understand what was happening. You slowly lifted your gaze as Javier whispered your name and it broke your heart to look into his eyes. Javier was completely confused, he didn't even know what to say. Where was your daughter? Why hadn't you mentioned her once? What had prevented you from doing so?

"Javier… Please… let’s go inside. I'll… I'll explain everything…"

The young man swallowed hard, his Adam's apple trembling as his eyes filled with tears. Without another word, he went back into the house. As he passed you, he gently reached for your hand, searching the look in your eyes. Compassionately you squeezed his hand, gently stroking his skin with your thumb, until he stepped inside. You would follow him in a moment.

"John…"

Anger was now in your eyes as you looked up at John. Without warning, you gave him a resounding slap that immediately left a fiery red mark on John's cheek.

"Get lost, John! Now!"

John sighed inwardly. He admitted that he had gone too far, but he had said it once and he couldn't undo that. But he was so angry! How could you just forgive Javier like that? After everything that had happened? John had seen how much you had suffered, had heard how you had cried every night because of Javier! The fact that your little girl had to grow up without her father had torn you apart inside. And you forgive him just like that?! John could not and would not understand that! Without expecting another answer from him, you also went inside your house and left John standing alone in the rain.

Javier was already sitting on the couch and was completely lost in thought. He had his hands clasped together, his mouth pressed against them as countless thoughts buzzed through his head. The young man sensed that he was not in for any good news as far as his baby girl was concerned. Just thinking about it gave Javier a terrible stomach ache. But it wasn't just him, it was you too. It all came back. All the painful memories of that terrible night when you lost a piece of your soul, of your being.

"Javier…"

He looked you straight in the eye as you knelt before him. Gently, your fingers slid down his arms, then lifted your hand to his cheek, and his heartbreaking look nearly killed you.

"I…"

Where could you possibly begin? No matter what you would say now, you would never be able to find the right words for a tragedy like this. You were both completely soaked, but that didn't matter at the moment. Outside it didn't stop raining either, it only got worse.

Javier grabbed your face, pulled you close and leaned his forehead against yours.

"What about my daughter, Y/N? Where's our babygirl?"

You couldn't even put the words in your mouth, so how could you tell him everything? You tried, you really did, but instead of a word, you just sob, you just whimper, rather you finally burst into tears.

"No, no… Y/N…"

Javier didn't manage to suppress his tears, but he tried. He tried to keep a clear head.

"They… she… isn't anymore, Javier… she… oh dear god…"

After her words, everything was said for Javier.

"No… no…"

Carefully, you pulled Javier into your arms; he was in a trance like state as he snuggled against you. While you put your arms around him, you felt him trembling.

It's been so many years now, but not a day has gone by that you don't think back to that terrible night four years ago. When your little Rose became a bright shining star.

You lay in each other's arms, broken and yet trying to give each other the support you just needed. Javier's tears wet your neck, and you held him close. You could sympathize with his pain because you had been through it before and the loss of little Rose would never go away. That pain would stay with you forever and now it would stay with Javier. How could John have been so cold? He should never have told him, not in that way. Maybe John had the right to be angry with Javier, but not the right to reveal such an intimate family matter. Especially not when it was about the death of a child….

The rain slowly subsided. It became quiet outside, only sporadic drops fell from the sky and you both had no more tears to shed. Lying silently on the couch, your head resting on Javier's chest, you listened to the clock ticking softly as his arms were around you. Lost in thought, he looked up at the ceiling while many painful questions ran through his mind. What had happened? Why was his girl no longer with you? And how had she gone out? Had she been as beautiful as her mother? Could she have had his eyes? He imagined how she would have laughed, but that thought was far too painful and he shook it off immediately as fresh tears welled up from his eyes.

You heard Javier's heartbeat beat softly and steadily. His warmth enveloped you, which almost became uncomfortable because it was excruciatingly hot at the moment. All the tears you had shed had been with effort. The heat in your bodies had risen, your cheeks were still quite red.

"What happened, Y/N?"

Javier was the first to break the silence as he recovered his voice.

"Scarlet fever…"

Scarlet fever was responsible for the fact that their child was now no longer with them. You had done everything you could to bring the fever down. Even the doctor hadn't been able to do much more. Abigail and John had done everything they could, but even they had not been able to save Rose. They had been with you that night and they had suffered with you, suffered a lot.

"I did everything… we did everything possible, Javier…"

Your words were just a whisper now as you just stared at a spot in the corner and the images played in your mind's eye.

"I'm so sorry, Javier. so terribly sorry…"

Sobbing, you buried your face against his chest. Oh, how you wish Javier could see little Rose. Her smile, it had been just as beautiful as Javier's! She had laughed just the same. She was the spitting image of her father. More and more every day.

"Shh… you have nothing to be sorry for, my heart. Nothing. Nothing at all."

"She had your eyes Javier. Your smile…"

Javier closed his eyes as his heart contracted painfully.

"I… do you have a photograph of her, Y/N? I would love to see her…"

"Yes…"

Photos of little Rose actually existed. Immediately, you retrieved the photos from your sewing room. You stored them well, wrapped them in cloth and kept them in a small cardboard box so that time wouldn't destroy the pictures of little Rose. You took the box to Javier to show him his daughter. The first thing Javier said when he saw rose was, how beautiful she was. Her laugh in the photograph was infectious and he had to smile instantly.

"This dress, I had sewn it for her."

Your fingers gently ran over the photograph showing Rose sitting on your lap.

"Her name was Rose…"

"Y/N… I want to have a picture of Rose. So I can carry it with me."

"Of course, Javier…"

To your surprise, Javier pulled out a small medallion from his blue jacket. You recognized it immediately and your eyes widened. He was still carrying it? It had been a gift from you to him. A photograph of you was still in it. On the left side, a place for a picture of Rose.

"You still have the medallion?"

"Of course, Y/N… It was the only thing I had left of you…"

You snuggled into his arms, holding the photo of Rose tightly against your chest.

It had been a few weeks after the decline of the gang when you had noticed that something was wrong with your body. Again and again you had had this strange feeling in your stomach, you had often vomited and you had perceived smells more intensely, even detested them because they had disgusted you. When your periods stopped, you realized that you were pregnant. A visit to the doctor had brought clarity. For you it had been quite difficult, because Javier was no longer there and you didn't like the idea that your child would grow up without a father. But you were lucky that Abigail and John had supported you. Especially Abigail could give you many valuable tips. She also knew how difficult it was to raise a child practically alone.

But what was, has passed. Now was the time to look forward and you knew that it was a new beginning for you and Javier…

♦♦♦♦

It was like old times when Javier played for you on his guitar. His soft voice touched your heart, because every word that came over his lips came from the deepest soul. You no longer had to spend your evenings alone on the couch with books and chamomile tea. Now you could spend them with Javier again. Outside, in front of a cozy fire, under the stars. At a beautiful lake, surrounded by little fireflies flying around you. Your togetherness was incomparably beautiful and you had a lot of catching up to do.

Eres mi ángel especial

Enviada desde allá arriba

El señor me sonrió

Y me envió un ángel para amar

Eres mi ángel especial

Directo del paraíso

Se que eres un ángel

El cielo está en tus ojos

You are my special angel

Sent from up above

The Lord smiled down on me

And sent an angel to love

You are my special angel

Right from paradise

I know that you′re an angel

Heaven is in your eyes

(Bobby Helms - My Special Angel)

Javier has always had a way with words. His gaze showed love and warmth as he looked at you. He was playing just for you.

Satisfied, he smiled as he slowly finished his song. His guitar was still quite new. He had bought it with his first salary, because after the decline of the gang, neither Javier nor anyone else had been able to save anything in terms of material things. Survival had been the only thing.

Javier slid closer to you after placing his guitar on the floor next to him and you instantly snuggled against his chest, closing your eyes for a moment.

But this place was so beautiful that you could imagine spending the night here.

This moment seemed like a dream and you were afraid that this was not reality. But could a dream feel so real? To feel the warmth of another person? The kisses and tender touches were so intense, his scent omnipresent. No dream could ever be so real.

In the last days you had talked a lot about Rose and it had done really good to share your thoughts with Javier. He tried to process the pain, but it would take a very long time, but he was not alone and he knew it. He wrote down song lyrics for his little Rose and also for you. Sometimes he would spend almost whole nights on it, you even had to get him out of his work so he could get his sleep. Javier often forgot the time.

Oh, how much you had experienced together. So many ups and downs, but all to finally find peace. It's still a shame what happened to your gang. All the friends you saw die, all the blood that was spilled. But in the end, a few of you managed to build a decent life. You and Javier were about to let your future blossom. What became of Dutch and Micah, no one knows.

You could only hope that they got the end they deserved…

Chapter 6 is coming soon...

[imscaredrightnow]

Yoyo Asahina anon here!

May i request for Bartender Rantaro (But let me make it different for yah. Rantaro kills people to save other families and to prevent them from having the same trauma that he had. What trauma you may ask? His trauma was seeing his mother getting killed in some alleyway. So, he wanders around with a chainsaw in the same alleyway that he saw his mom die in!) x Reader whos in a relationship with him and didn't know about this side he has!!

Just to simplify,

Prompt : Reader seeing rantaro kill someone to save a kid in some alleyway. (Rantaro probably is very BLOODY because of the chainsaw..)

I couldn't tell weather or not to make this apart of the other Bartender Rantaro request, so I just went for it and made this a part 2. (also this is gonna be part of the smut Rantaro request, hope ur ok with that!

Warnings: Smut (probably terrible) Mentions of death, murder, and theft (please stay safe!)

꧁��� 𝓡𝓐𝓝𝓣𝓐𝓡𝓞 𝓧 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓓𝓔𝓡 ~ 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓥𝓘𝓒𝓣𝓘𝓜 𝓑𝓔𝓒𝓐𝓜𝓔 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓢𝓐𝓥𝓘𝓞𝓡 ༻꧂

"Honey, I'm home!" Rantaro shouted, making hi presence known in the home that you two lived in. "Coming!" You said, giggling once Rantaro picked you up with strong arms, peppering soft kisses on your face, though as you look closer, you noticed little dark circles around his eyes. "Rantaro, you okay?" Rantaro seem to notice your concern, because his smile turned into a slight frown. "Yeah, its just, business has been kinda rough, but no need to worry about me." Rantaro said, a sweat bead running down his face. "I don't wanna hear it, you've been staying out later and later, I'm getting worried that somethings gonna happen."

"But-" "No. Buts." Rantaro snickered and you giggled at his antics. "Okay, okay, arrest me~" Rantaro said picking you up and taking you to your shared bedroom, where you both lied down on the bed, doing just about anything, pillow fights cuddling, and currently you guys were engaged in a pillow fight end with you on top of him.

"I surrender! I surrender! Have mercy!!" Rantaro said in between laughs, you two sharing playful kisses, until eventually you deepened the kiss, sitting on top of him. "You are really stressed out, yknow? I...I can help you lose that, if you want." Rantaro jokingly said "Infront of the pillows?" before looking at you and kissing you passionately, flipping you onto your back "Getting fisty there aren't we?~" you said, surprised at the change of mood from him. "Yeah, just hold still while I get these pretty clothes off of you, they'd look better on the floor anyway."

After fully undressing himself and you, Rantaro then proceeded to kissing, trailing small little peppered kisses to your chest, you tried to hold back the moans, though, one look from him made you surrender. It would've been fruitless anyways, his hands and mouth way to good in so many ways.

"Lets get this here..." Rantaro said, pulling out condoms from the bedside table drawer, wrapping his length in said baby stopper before aligning himself with you. "Are you sure you wanna go this far-" "Shh, I trust you, just do it, Rantaro" You whispered, impatient of his love.

The deeper he pushed in, the more moans came from your mouth, starting at a slow, steady pace, the more you two made love, the more quick and sloppy Rantaro's thrust got, eventually slamming into as he shouted praises.

"R-Rantaro, I-I think im gonna!-"

As he slammed into you, the last thrust left you in ecstasy.

"Rantaro- Rantaroooo~! I love youuuuu~~!!"

When you two were done climaxing, you went to go clean yourselves up, and went to bed.

TOMORROW

"*Yawn* Good morning babe-" As you looked around, you noticed Rantaro wasn't in bed. "Must be work again.."

As you got ready for a day alone in the house, spending time by yourself, it wasn't till sunset that you realized that Rantaro doesn't work on the weekends...

"....Shit." You quickly pulled out your phone to call him, though no matter how many times you called, he never answered. "Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no...." Grabbing your keys, you drove your car to the bar, much to your dismay, he wasn't there. No matter how many places you drove to, he was at none of them. Just as you were losing hope, you heard screaming and a.... chainsaw? You quickly followed the noise, having your pepper spray on hand. They thing you saw on the corner would never leave your mind.

"HELP!!" "Get your ass over here!!" "W-who are you!? Back up!! I-I'LL KILL YOU-A AAAAAAAAHH!!!!!"

There he was, drenched in blood, Ranatro, protecting what looks to be an 8 year old and their family running away from the scene, as for the other man, he was getting sliced into pieces by that chainsaw, gore along the walls, a horrifying sight to see.

All you could do is watch the scene in front of you, to frozen to run. Is this what your boyfriend was all along, he wasn't working extra, he was...... murdering people...

"RANTARO!" You manage to scream after the family was long gone and the other man as well. He noticed your presence and was shocked to see you here. "Wh-what the- What the hell did you just do!?" More stunned than angry, you only had the will power to step farther and farther away. "Its- Babe, its not what it looks like!.." Rantaro's fruitless attempts at calming you down only made you panic more, quivering away from him

"A-are you gonna hurt me.....?..Please...don't hurt me!!"You shrieked , backing away in terror. "I wont-! Please just calm down and let me explain this!" Rantaro said, slowly getting closer to you, though you could only wait for an explanation, frozen in fear.

"I only did this for my mom s/o...she.. she died here. And so many other people have.... I only did this to protect them...I'm so, so sorry.."

Rantaro said, and before you noticed how close you were, he hugged you. Tears started to flow from your eyes as you realized the purpose of all of this.

"I- I....Rantaro.."

"I never knew, I'm sorry.....can we go h-home?.." You managed to say, voice shaky from crying so hard that you could barely fumble a sentence, but, understanding the situation he was put through, you would never want to deal with a hellish night like this again.

"Yes, lets just go home."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you liked it! Ik it probably sucks tho as it was my first time writing smut and gore, but ill be working more on request today to feel free to send in more!

[xhatake]

Hey...Xan, get those grubby fly hands ready because I need to know about Kakashi's thought process/his feelings about Naruto from when Naruto essentially brought him back to life, to Kakashi literally thinking "I need to go find him and bring him back here." I need to know his thought process in that, and also if anybody tried to prevent him from doing so.

When Kakashi wakes up, the light is blinding. The last thing he remembers is darkness, the embrace of a gentle fire, a final goodbye. He didn't understand all of it, but it could wait. His pounding head is full of a thousand thoughts & only one of them makes sense. ( Where is Naruto? ) Pain was looking for naruto. They had all acted to protect Naruto. He was the future of this village; there were none few left that disputed the fact. It was why everyone had for fiercely fought for him, his ideals, his legacy. As Kakashi's eye adjusts to the overwhelming realm of life, he sees others pushing themselves off of rough pavement, greeted tearfully by their loved ones.

The only way this was possible was if Pain had encountered Naruto. ( He must have come back, of course he would. ) This could mean a number of things, but the walking dead indicated that all of them were good. He sits up faster than his aching bones were prepared to, there is a series of pops as he forces his stiff, cold body to move again. It felt strangely unnatural, but it wasn't something he had time to consider right now. He was not the only one to be dragged from the liminal space between death & life, there were bodies clawing from the rubble around him in all directions.

Kakashi's heart begins to beat uncomfortably fast as he catches Choji by the arm. Through tears, Choji says that naruto went after pain. Alone. That he had faced the leader of the Akatsuki with an inconceivable power of his own, nearly defeating him on the battlefield. ( The Rasenshuriken? No, more than that. Incredible. ) They must have finished this. Kakashi is not sure how Naruto had managed it, but the dead were rising all around him.

He forces himself to his feet & the world feels as though it's on it's side. His stomach turns with uneasiness & he has to steady himself on the debris of what had once been a building. He waves off an emotional Choji as he goes to support him. The sky begins to spin, he forces it still & steadies himself as he tries to make sense of it all... but if he was alive, that means Pain couldn't have gotten what he wanted. ( Maybe he got what he needed...? ) Through the turbulence in his mind, he could not deny the way pride surged in his chest. It reminded him to breathe, to think.

Naruto, where was Naruto? If he had saved them, he had to be close. Kakashi extends the few wisps of energy he could squeeze from his body to search for Naruto's chakra. It was a distinct & familiar feeling, not unlike the campfire he had left behind in limbo.

He's sure the only reason he's able to force himself is because of the swell of fulfillment & concern he felt for the boy. it was awe-inspiring, to think that he had accomplished this much. That he had made it possible for Konoha to heal from this devastation. He gave them back their heart; the people they fought to protect... Someway, somehow naruto had brought them back. There were many familiar bursts of chakra as he searched for his student, though he was not in the village... as was to be expected. He extends his sensory ability to it's limits, locating the boy outside of their gates.

Kakashi sets out from the village before he is able to talk to anyone else. But a few sets of eyes catch a glimpse of his silver hair, they call out to him in the occasional greeting. The affirmation of life, the excitement that they had survived. Kakashi pays them less attention than he wishes, his exhausted mind set on something more important. Kakashi is fast. Determined. With each step, he feels an ache in his chest. During his fight, he had been run through with a blade & though the wound had been forced shut, he still felt a telltale burst of pain with every step, every breath. That, however, was not his priority. If he were to stop, his bones would surely be too heavy to start again.

He couldn't think about each passing step. But there were some things Kakashi could not ignore. There was a trail of devastation in the wake of where he thought naruto must have faced Pain. the landscape was devastated, Kakashi could hardly imagine what had happened to make it so. There was still the faint evil of Kurama in the air; it made him feel strange.

This had been no ordinary fight, he had known that before setting out.... but seeing the destruction before his eyes, feeling the air still thick with incomprehensible rage. it was enough to make the hairs on his arm stand on end. But it told a different story; if naruto had succeeded, he had overcome even the Kyuubi. He would think it was impossible, but hadn't naruto eradicated the meaning of the word?

Kakashi draws closer. He resists the urge to call out for Naruto, to let him know that he was coming for him. His pace quickens, though he couldn't explain how. Kakashi arrives just in time to see Naruto's body buckle underneath the weight of exhaustion. The scent of battle still clings to his form which is now much larger than Kakashi's. He thinks back, briefly, to when he was a child. Naruto was much lighter, then... But now naruto was much taller than him. He ate a little better now, took better care of his body. It was difficult not to be sentimental.

" Good job. " He's smiling, though Naruto cannot see it. He's not sure his own body can hold all of the pride growing in his chest, but he'll make sure it will take him home. His grip on his student tightens... There might be a tear in the corner of his eye, " Hold on. "

[usagirln12003]

Yuuya Kizami: Hogwarts AU

Yuuya Kizami is a Pureblood wizard that was born on the 23rd of October 1969 and started attending Durmstrang Institute on the 1st of September 1981.

He has a Yew wand with a Dragon Heartstring Core.

He has a Non-Corporeal Patronus.

His favorite subject is Dark Arts and his least favorite subject is Care of Magical Creatures.

Yuuya is a mysterious person at first, indicating nothing of his true personality. He initially appears to be a protective and strong ally, as well as sophisticated and classy with his Japanese pronouns, language, and manners, though occasionally coming across as somewhat blunt and apathetic.

Underneath this façade, however, Yuuya is a sociopath in the truest sense, withholding no understanding or comprehension of morality, affection, social interaction, or the value of life. Violent from childhood, his acts ranged from trying to beat a kid to death when he was a kid to mutilating animals. Many of his feelings of disdain for others stem from his cynical perception of truth, firmly believing that everyone else was hiding behind a mask, preventing him from seeing their 'true' personality, and effectively lying to him, something he took great offense to. Eventually, Yuuya became obsessed with this idea, and became convinced that only death would reveal a person's true side. Thus, he lusted to kill those around him. Due to his lack of understanding of others and the world, he created a false front that he projected out to the world after childhood, acting as a loner who preferred to sit on the sidelines and observe while he studied others and their interactions, ironically committing the same type of deception that he himself loathed. In reality extremely egocentric, if people truly wish to be involved with him, then he expects them to put him at the center of things, and 'care' about him in the way that his family 'didn't'.

Hand in hand with this, Yuuya displays an almost absurd amount of arrogance, a trait that, unlike much of his mind's inner workings, he doesn't seem to bother to hid from most, and even flaunts it in some cases. Having been repeatedly told he'll grow up alone due to his sadistic ways, Yuuya shrugs this off on the grounds that if he is second to none, being alone won't matter. This way of thinking evolved into a nearly delusional mindset, with Yuuya not only thinking he couldn't lose, but firmly believing with every fibre of his being that such an event is flat out impossible.

After coming to Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament in 1986, he at first attempted to work with his "friends" to win the Tournament when he was chosen as a champion. However, after a series of events involving the near-deaths and mental breakdowns of several classmates, he came to the conclusion that it didn't matter in the slightest how a person died, since they were going to anyway, essentially giving Yuuya the justification he needed to murder those around him since he knew that the adults would immediately assume it was someone from either Hogwarts or Beauxbatons. Ecstatic, he stripped his inhibitions away and indulged in his fantasies, putting his philosophy of truth into practice, in hopes of revealing the inner selfishness in his classmates, and finally engage in what he deemed true, honest dialogue, thus finally understanding them and, in effect, himself.

However, at the end of the year, bits of emotions such as pity, remorse, and guilt came from his interactions with Yuka Mochida. It's through these interactions that he also admitted to himself that he'd hoped that helping Yuka would give him some redemption and a means to atone for the terrible things he has done, indicating that he does at least hold some basic understanding of morals and knew, to a degree, that what he was doing was wrong. Noticeably, Yuuya always dreamed of having a younger sibling, constantly saying how he would love and listen to such a person, going on to form somewhat of a complex around this dream. In particular, he showed fondness towards the thought of having a little sister.

He harbors a deep hatred for his family, his older brother Kouki and his older sister Haruna in particular, who he feels were always "lying" to him by telling him that they loved him and wanted what was best for him. Yuuya convinced himself that his entire family hated him and always would, and that he was living in the shadow of his older siblings, who were always taking the attention away from him. It is his intense and unresolved frustration with being the youngest child, always picked on and told what to do, that played a major factor in shaping his philosophy, and Yuuya himself theorized that had he had a younger sibling, he may have been able to understand just how his siblings truly felt when they said they loved him.

[tasam1075]

Letter from Death Row

Jeff just sat there looking at the envelope that was sitting on his desk, the envelope that had been sitting there for over a week.

He still wasn't sure if he could bring himself to read this latest letter from Scott, the previous letters had all, virtually, reduced him to tears at the depths of despair and hopelessness being faced by his son, especially when there was nothing he could do prevent Scott's descent into severe clinical depression.

Scott's letter to Chloe was safely stored in his safe, just waiting for her to decide what she wanted to do.

Virgil still remained unaware of it's existence, if he knew that there was a letter to Chloe from Scott he'd demand that it be destroyed - just like he'd destroyed his own letter (without even opening it)

He didn't know how his other sons had reacted to their letters and he was almost afraid to ask, would they follow Virgil's example and just destroy their letters or did they still care enough to read what Scott had written?

With a deep intake of breath, and no small amount of trepidation he opened the envelope and began to read.

Dad

There's so much that I need to say but I don't even know where to start.

I want to say that everything's going to be fine but we both know that things will never be fine again, for anyone.

I keep thinking about my last good memory, before my life became the never-ending nightmare that's now my existence.

The smile on Becky's face when she gave me the scan image (she did look almost terrified though, we hadn't planned for children until after the wedding).

The realisation that I was going to be a father, to have a baby alongside my beautiful Queen made me the happiest man alive.

My last moment of true happiness, able to look forward to a future with hope and joy.

Now all I have left are shattered images and fragmented memories, vague impressions of voices and darkness, no more good days, no more hope - just loss and despair.

I still see Chloe's look of terror as she tried to protect her sisters, I failed to protect my Angel and that reality still haunts me even now.

I know that I didn't kill Maddie, I remember hearing her call my name as the drugs took hold of me (I'll always be ashamed of my addiction even though I still long for the escape from reality that the drugs have always provided).

The next clear thing I remember is waking up in the hospital, being told that Maddie was dead and that I was under arrest for her murder.

The realisation that no-one believed me, everyone believed that I'd killed two people, was hard to accept.

Even harder was the look on Becky's face as she realised the horrific truth, that drugs had destroyed her life again, that it was all my fault - I had become an addict, she had heard me actually beg for the drugs.

My Queen and I couldn't face her, all I felt was shame, shame at what I'd become (even if all I wanted at the time was the drugs to make the pain go away).

I had betrayed my Queen and there's no way back from that.

You think that after all these years I'd be used to being alone, that I'd just accept that I'll never hear the ocean again, never see a blue sky or even green grass (what does a blue sky look like anyway?), I don't even remember anymore all I ever see is shades of grey.

Maybe I should just stop fighting against the inevitable, Virgil will never ask for clemency for me (part on me still believes that he wants revenge rather than justice), he'll never ask for the death penalty be commuted to life and I just have to accept that.

I understand how he feels but at least he got to say goodbye to Maddie, my Queen and my son are both dead and no-one bothered to tell me until months after their funerals (I don't even know his name, my son and no-one cares enough to tell me his name).

They should have been safe, my only solace was that they were safe.

How could they have been forced to leave their home?

They had nowhere else to go, why did you let them leave?

Without any clemency the only hope of appeal would be Chloe and I can't allow that, I failed to protect my Angel once before but never again.

should have fought more

I have to protect my Angel, nothing else matters - only her safety

Keep Chloe safe, she's all that matters

Once I'm gone she'll be safe

She has to be safe

Don't come anymore, each visit is harder than the last - for both of us

I can't bear to see the pain in your eyes every time you have to leave me here.

I feel that you only persist out of a misplaced sense of duty. I don't think I'm worthy of any more visits anyway.

My brothers have accepted the inevitable and it's time I did the same, I'm never going to leave here alive.

I know that now.

I think that I've always known even if I've been denying it for years, hoping that somehow the truth could finally be heard, that someone would actually believe me. No more appeals,

why continue with a pointless process when it's only going to end in failure.

I can't deal with the false hope anymore,

I'm sorry but I can't carry on like this

Goodbye Dad

I'm sorry for everything,

just forget about me, live your life

Scott

Jeff couldn't stop the tears, as strong as he'd always tried to be for Scott, reading about his son's enduring torment was more than he could bear.

Only the death of his beloved Lucy had left him feeling this helpless, and lost.

He couldn't even turn to Penelope for any advice or solace, the easy friendship that had had briefly let to passion and love had ultimately fallen victim to his continual feelings of betraying his beloved Lucille.

The passion and love had now been replaced strict adherence to duty and responsibility, the relationship now reduced to little more than a matter of essential business formalities, perpetually depriving him of her invaluable wisdom and unique perspective. He couldn't even talk things through with Abigail, she was too busy dealing with Chloe and John, there was no way that he could ask her to help him achieve some sense of peace as well.

[pretty-please-just-let-me-sleep]

Restless Nights

Aki Hayakawa x Reader (I don't think there's any mentions of gender and if there is please yell at me because there's not supposed to be)

Fandom: Chainsaw Man

CW: manga spoilers!!! mentions of character death, angst, implied nightmares, hurt/comfort (but mostly hurt), unrequited love, non-sexual bed sharing, aki makes for really good angst sorry

1st Person

This is sfw but I have explicit content on my blog, minors, do not interact with my content. I don't want y'all here.

Aki Hayakawa had an expiration date far sooner than anyone his age should.

It was painfully obvious to everyone including myself; I mean, the Curse Devil alone was evidence enough but with the impossible, unwavering goal of killing the Gun Devil I wouldn't be surprised if death came knocking next week. It shouldn't hurt me as much as it did, I was trained not to be phased by friends' deaths given the profession and typically avoided friendships altogether but it'd be a lie to say I was okay with it.

Truth be told, I'd fallen for him entirely. It was stupid, of course, you'd have to be blind not to notice Himeno's attempts to stray him–I most certainly didn't have a chance–but the strain in my heart at the mere sight of him couldn't be helped. The thought of being his was lovely but even if he wasn't so cold and closed off; his contracts were so detrimental the idea of a future with him was nothing more than a pathetic pipe dream.

The only comfort I had was knowing I wasn't alone in being rejected or simply having their affections ignored. Himeno obviously but even his new buddy; the Angel Devil were so clearly in love but he never bat an eye at them. Not in the way they wanted him too at least. I suppose Angel would never admit that though, probably scolding me and giving the lecture on how he's a devil first, an angel second. It didn't matter. We both understood that we'd sit on the sidelines, helpless to aid in the prevention of his downfall or end up like Himeno. Whichever came first.

I had seen him less and less as of late though. It was to be expected. I suppose Makima was closing in on the Gun Devil so it came as a surprise when I was told that I would be looking into very likely rumors of a devil a few cities away with Aki. Nonetheless I took the job graciously and headed to the train station with a backpack containing sleepwear for both of us.

Upon arrival I called him, not catching sight of him anywhere. As the phone rang longer I felt my patience dissipating. I had no doubt he'd shown up, I was told he'd be here before me, but this was supposed to be my day off, we'd have to stay the night at a hotel, and I was already tired from the week. If it weren't for my paranoia about Aki's well being and a guttural feeling that as the Gun Devil grew closer to being killed Aki's time grew nearer I would've said no to going. But. The man I was in love with would be dead soon, I should enjoy whatever fleeting moments I can take. After all, his best case scenario was only two years and a few months.

At the third ring a small poke on my arm signified the presence of the man I was looking for. I smiled.

"Glad you found me, wanna get going?" He nodded in response, giving out a ghost of a smile. I grinned and took his hand, selfishly stealing what small contact I could. As I headed to the train he stumbled slightly. Slowing I looked back at him. He may not have said anything, claiming he was just fine without it, but there were small things I'd noticed that he was clearly struggling to adjust to after losing an arm. The most apparent being the few times I had been able to come over and needing to help him cook. He hated it and it was obvious. Prior to his bout with the Darkness Devil he was always ready with an intricate dinner before anyone was walking through the door. I shook the thought.

We boarded and sat in silence, the only noises on the train being the occasional sound of shuffling, rustling paper, and soft whispers. It was nice. I glanced at Aki to see a calm expression gracing his features as he gazed out the window. Moments like this were rare and I made a mental portrait of the way the afternoon sun seemed to make his blue eyes shine as it hit them. I looked away soon after though. He'd called me out for staring before and I didn't want to upset him. He didn't want a relationship, that was made obvious. The train ride would be long. I opted to sleep on the way there.

Upon arriving at the somewhat rural city (though just about every town and city tended to look rural when coming fresh from Tokyo) we asked around. Quickly able to surmise that tip about a devil in the area was correct and taking residence in a decrepit old house on the edge of town. It bolted after seeing us, immediately heading into a wooded area bordering the yard on the house. It was rather weak, the most difficult part of killing it being how good it was at fleeing. After taking care of the body we found a hotel close to the station we'd be departing from the next morning and checked in.

I sat on the couch and gave Aki a tired smile. He returned it before heading to the bathroom and starting hot water for a shower. I followed him in, setting his clothes on the counter.

"I'll go after you so don't take to long okay?" I said before leaving, closing the door behind me. He groaned.

"You act like I'm known for long showers," he muttered though it was audible through the door. I giggled in response before returning to the couch and staring at the ceiling. I had contemplated trying to find something on tv but I was tired and the thought of putting effort into anything right now felt like a chore. He was out quickly as promised, hair down and looking exhausted. Going to one of the beds in the room and pulling back the covers to tuck himself in he was out almost immediately.

After taking my shower and putting on a tee shirt and sweats I let my gaze fall on Aki for a moment. It wasn't a common occurrence to see him at peace to begin with but after Himeno's death he seemed perpetually distraught. Sighing I turned the lights off and muttered a small good night before getting under the covers of the other bed and letting myself drift off.

☆☆☆

I woke up to the sound of crying and turned over to see Aki, still asleep, whimpering as tears fell from his closed eyes. I avoided letting any come to my own at the sight as I climbed out of bed and padded towards him.

"Hey... hey, c'mon. Wake up," I whispered as I shook his shoulder gently. He opened his eyes slowly before quickly sitting up, startling me slightly. Bringing a hand up to his face he wiped away his tears and let out a shaky breath.

"S-sorry," he mumbled. His voice was broken and barely audible. I shook my head and after a moment of hesitation rubbed circles into his back.

"It's okay. You've gone through a lot, you can cry about it if you want to," I offered. It felt stupid coming out of my mouth but seemed to strike a nerve as he looked up at me, his brows knitted and eyes were glossy with tears. He pulled me by my waist and buried his head into my stomach as sobs racked his body. I brought my hand not busy rubbing circles into his back to his head, holding him close and petting his hair.

"Please stay with me tonight," he mumbled. I almost didn't catch it, his voice was weak and muffled by my shirt. But I did. I sighed and moved to sit on the bed before laying down, gently pulling him with me. He curled into himself and nestled further into me. I knew it would hurt, that this was likely the only time he would show anyone, let alone me, any type of vulnerability. That if it had happened to be someone else here who was kind enough to show him compassion and knew him well enough he would've likely had the same reaction. It didn't have to be me. He just needed a warm body and if that's all he ever wanted from me then so be it.

I was utterly whipped and just for tonight I could fool myself into thinking he cared even a fraction about me in the same way I did for him.

[cherryskyies]

We'll meet again

Levi x Reader // gn!reader

•you and Levi spend a night together before a dangerous mission outside the walls.

Word count: 700

Warnings: no one dies, but it is foreshadowed if ykwim, angst/fluff, cute moments spent together before disaster basically.

Part two

a/n: guys I try so hard to write happy things for you, but I'm just not built for it.

Masterlist || Navigation || Ao3

“I think,” you trailed off, eyes lingering on the sky, watching the colors blend together as you turned your head to Levi. “All I want in this life is to be something- to have my name known, y’know?” 

Your eyes met his, he was silent sitting beside your sprawled out body, white dress fluttering in the breeze, finding your presence more captivating than the sunset. 

Part of him didn’t understand, he’d give anything to lead a normal life for just a moment. His name would follow him to the grave and beyond, his ghost would not know peace in death. The bigger- better, part of him understood, though. 

What would Levi be if not an Ackerman? 

He pondered a moment longer, gazing down at you- have you always been this beautiful? You were a work of art, he thought. “Yes, I do.”

The breeze ruffled your hair, dark brown strands tangling together. It will be a bitch to detangle later, it always was, but it had always been worth it.

"Do you think-" your question was caught in the wind, blown away like a dandelion. "The stars are beautiful."

Truthfully, they looked mundane with you lying beside him, it took half a heart for him to not say some sappy shit about you being prettier.

Words caught in his throat, huffing out a meek "yeah," as you fiddled with his hand, tracing hearts on his bruised knuckles. 

Has he always been this nervous around you? Or was the fact you could very well die tomorrow getting to him? Either way, he couldn't look into your memorizing eyes without a lump in his throat forming- embarrassing, truly and utterly embarrassing. 

The stoic, untouched captain was head-over-heels in love, as Hange had so bluntly put it one afternoon, having watched him stare you down all throughout training and in the mess hall- there was no saving Levi.

As the wind picked up, grass tickling your skin, you couldn’t help but smile at the man. He never said a word, didn't have to, you knew. 

Perhaps he likes that about you, your uncanny ability to read his mind. For you, he was an open book- one of your favorites, having surpassed even Shakespeare.

Levi raked his fingers through your hair, catching in knots made by the wind. "Can you promise me something?" His voice was steady, if it hadn't been for the slight tremor of his hand you wouldn't have caught the anxiety flooding through him.

Looking up, you moved your head into his lap, Levi's hand caressing your face instinctively, "If this is about me drinking your tea, then no I can't promise to leave it alone." 

Your attempt at lightning the mood was well received, Levi snorting in response while he locked eyes with you; he had the prettiest eyes you'd ever seen, you could only hope they would be the last thing you'd see before death.

His hand found yours, intertwining, "My tea is yours, just make sure to leave me some," his tone was sincere, dripping with adoration for you. "But seriously," he started, smile falling. "I need you to promise me that you won't leave my sight tomorrow."

Levi Ackerman knew better than to make you promise not to die, fate was out of your hands; so he opted to prevent fate from taking what was his once again, the least he could do was try. 

Without hesitating, you agreed. The universe would have to pry you from his cold, dead hands before they took a treasure like you.

It felt wrong to even suggest you may die, to put that energy into the universe to manifest, but you couldn't help the words that slipped past your lips. 

"We'll meet again, you know that, right? Don't know where, don't know when, but we can't be separated forever; however long that may be." 

Though it left an uncomfortable silence, accepting the reality that you might die always did, it was still comforting to a degree. 

Levi, no matter the year or universe, will hold you again. Even if you're a pile of bone and ash, you'll form again molded perfectly for him: he is yours and you are his, universe be damned. 

Humming in acknowledgement, he reached down to kiss your head, "I'll search for you, forever and always."

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Mission: steal the bride [A. C] part 7

Adrian Chase x reader

Word count: 4.3k

MASTERLIST

Summary: You and Adrian are the best of friends since you moved from the UK to the US. After the death of your grandfather, you find out about an event that changes everything and you find yourself involved in an arranged marriage. Vigilante needs to get the team together before it's too late. The mission? Steal the bride.

A/N: I hope you enjoy it. Tell me what you think if you want!

You looked at the clock on the wall, slightly uncomfortable. It had been a while since Adrian had left and now Gordon wasn't there either. You wondered if something had really happened or if they were just exchanging a few words somewhere in the house. They didn't like each other and you knew it, so your concern was what they might say or do alone. You really feared for Gordon, Adrian could knock him out in a second.

"I'm back" exclaimed someone sitting next to you, just when you were about to get up to go look for him. It was the blonde, but there was no sign of the dark-haired.

"And Adrian?"

"He's fine, he's in his room"

"He feels bad?"

"I don't think so, he said he just wanted to rest for a while"

"Do you think I should...?"

"Y/N" he cut you off, holding you in place with your arm "Don't you think you care too much about him?" he asked. You frowned "Maybe he just wants to rest, you don't have to be together all the time"

"I just wanted to know if he's alright"

"He is," he insisted. You heard him let out a sigh and he too ran his hand through his hair, as if he was debating something inside of him. "He needs space."

"What?

"Yeah, you know. Sometimes men want to be alone, it's nothing to write home about" he murmured "So calm down and stay here. Enjoy the rest of your friends"

You didn't say anything. The truth was that you hadn't thought about that and the feeling of guilt prevented you from feeling any kind of annoyance towards Gordon.

Adrian had never complained about your company, but you reflected on how much time you had shared during those weeks. You were always close to each other and maybe now he just wanted to be away from people. It would not be the first time.

Were you being too clingy with him?

You decided to give him his space, but then you found out that he wasn't at your house and well… the rest is history.

Over the next few days, you often checked your phone waiting for a message or hoping to get at least one call from him. But no, you hadn't heard from him for a while and after the conversation with Gordon, you had done your best not to upset him.

Although well, you didn't have much time to investigate the matter either. The day before the wedding you had to review the decoration of the country place where you were going to get married, minor details regarding the food and you had received some calls to confirm his attendance. Everything was ready, except you.

You had tossed and turned a couple of times to try to fall asleep, but the truth was that you couldn't. You had tried to drink tea, music, oils, and god knows how much to relax, but you still couldn't.

You thought that maybe it was a logical thing not to be able to sleep the night before a wedding, but the reasons were not the usual ones. More than excited, you were scared.

It terrified you to think that you were about to make such a final decision. You could have simply signed the document to receive the inheritance and five years later annul the marriage to continue with your life. But Gordon wanted you to be a real couple, just like your mom and 90% of your family.

Maybe you would learn to be happy, in time, but right now you were feeling anything but joy.

Resigned that you weren't going to be able to sleep, you sat up in bed and turned on the light, finding yourself with your wedding dress covered by a transparent bag. You remembered Gordon's reaction to looking at you with this one and for some reason, you felt insecure about it. It wasn't the prettiest dress, of course, but at least you hoped the blonde would know how to fake a reaction better.

You slid down the sheets until your feet hit the cold floor and began to shed your pajama bottoms, letting them fall to the floor until you were left with nothing but your panties.

You carefully took the dress out of its wrapper, put it on, and with some difficulty closed the zipper on the side.

You were looking at yourself in front of the full-length mirror you had in the corner of the room, analyzing how ugly the garment was. It had a lot of fabric, it was old-fashioned and it barely showed off your figure, but you didn't dislike it at all.

Unlike many women, you had never imagined your 'perfect wedding'. There are girls who, since they are old enough to think, imagine what their dress will be like, how huge their wedding will be, the perfect music, the happiness that this will bring to their lives. But not you, you had never worried about something like that.

You felt short of breath for a few seconds, you weren't going to lie. Why were you doing this in the first place? Was it really worth it? You had many questions and very few answers. But by this point, it was already too late to do anything. The following week the collectors would come to evict everyone and you would be exiled from the family.

Was it really worth doing this for your family? For a second you thought about how much love was involved. But you found nothing, just a hint. You weren't doing this out of love, you were doing it out of pressure.

A family didn’t use you for their convenience. A family would have asked you what you wanted, they would have worried about your happiness.

But you had to get away from all those thoughts. After all, the mind is a den of scorpions better left running from, not towards you remembered.

You were looking closely at yourself, smoothing here and pinning here in an attempt to finish convincing yourself of your appearance, when you noticed an unusual figure through the reflection. You quickly took the first thing you saw to defend yourself, a pair of scissors, and turned to launch them in the direction of the stranger. But your hand stopped midway.

“Adrian?" you asked bewildered, fearing it was a figment of your imagination "What are you doing here?" you murmured

Adrian was completely silent, almost paralyzed, watching you with big eyes. He looked stunned, as he had never seen before, and you feared that something bad had happened. A person like him, used to seeing the worst things in the world, to kill in cold blood and who had been tortured, was in front of you completely pale and silent.

“Adrian?” you repeated, your voice soft and worried, and this seemed to wake him from his trance. You thought he would give you bad news, that they had an emergency mission or that the world was at risk again.

You had already started to walk in his direction when you heard his voice coming out like a shaky whisper.

"You look beautiful"

You stopped. You expected a lot of things, but definitely not that. You had days without speaking, he had appeared out of nowhere and the first thing he had done was admire you in the dress you were hating a second ago.

Why hadn't he called you? What made him sneak through the darkness to your room?

"What?"

"Your dress. You look beautiful" he repeated, now a little louder and with the beginnings of a smile forming on his face "You are so beautiful. Damn, why did I never realize this?"

"Dude, what are you talking about?" you asked confused, finishing closing the distance between you with a couple of steps. As your eyes met his, you saw tears welling up and a second later he practically collapsed into your arms.

You panicked. It was Adrian you were holding, that man who seemed unaffected by anything, who never cried, the same one who said that he didn't have the same feelings as other people.

What the hell had happened that he was practically shaking and sobbing against your body?

"Please, tell me something. Tell me what happened" you asked him worriedly, but you felt him shake his head, which was hidden in the crook of your neck. You could feel his tears wetting you, but you didn't care. All you wanted was to keep him as close to you as possible until the crying stopped and he could give you any explanation.

It took a couple of minutes before he got up a bit and you could finally see his puffy eyes and red nose.

"I stained your dress" he observed, as if it were something of vital importance, trying to clean with his thumb the fabric on your shoulder "I'm sorry"

"Hey, that doesn't matter" you rushed to say. You raised his head through his cheeks and noticed that he fled before your eyes as if he was embarrassed “Tell me what's wrong, is there an emergency? Does something hurt? Did something happen to the team?” you insisted. You were genuinely worried, not even imagining the real reason for his sadness.

He felt that all his words had run out. He knew what he wanted to say to you, but he didn't know how to do it and he hated himself for a moment for it.

How was he going to explain everything to you? What did he have to say?

"Vi?" you asked, a little more desperate. And when he saw you again, he knew he was doing the right thing. At least it was the right thing for him and I hoped it was the right thing for you too. Because otherwise, you were never going to forgive him.

"Don't marry him"

You were silent for a few seconds, watching him. What if it was all a dream? What if all this was your mind playing tricks on you? You had to surreptitiously pinch yourself to make sure you were awake.

"Why?"

Adrian didn't know what to say. Was there a valid enough reason? Maybe not, but he just let his heart do the talking.

"Because I love you"

His voice was no more than a frightened, trembling sigh, but you still heard him perfectly. It took you a moment to process his words. He had told you that before, many times, but it had never sounded like that. It had never meant so much.

"What?" you asked, just to check. He repeated the same words; soft, loving, and scared.

"I said I love you"

"Why are you saying that?"

“Because today I realized that I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you” he sobbed. Your hands were still planted on his cheeks and he brought his to your wrists to hold them like he had days before, the moment you yelled at him about how worried you'd been for him when you thought your best friend was sick of you. and wanted to walk away “Y/N, if tomorrow you walk down the altar, looking this gorgeous, with that smile that I adore, and it's that man who's waiting for you on the other side… I'm going to die. And I don't mean that figuratively, I'm really going to die,” he whispered. Suddenly he felt the need to place your outstretched palm on his chest. “Do you feel that? Do you feel my heart? Well, he's going to rot completely if I walk away from you. I don't want you to stay here, I don't want you to marry that cocky jerk who doesn't appreciate how perfect you are. How smart, sweet, tough, and beautiful you are. I don't want to go home if you don't come with me, I don't want anyone else to hug you like I do, I don't want anyone else to be the reason for your laughter, I don't want anyone else to hold you when you're scared, I don't want anyone more in your fucking life because no one on this earth deserves you” he took a breath, for a second, while the tears fell down his cheeks again “I don't even deserve you. I'm here, offering you everything I have and everything I will have so that you don't marry that damned idiot…” he interrupted his words as he noticed that the tears were already accumulating in you “Don't cry…” he hastened to say, running his thumbs across your face “…please don't cry, my love. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out, maybe you really do prefer him and I'll respect that if you do. But if you give me a chance, I know I can be good. I know I can love you like no one has, pumpkin, I know I can be enough for you…”

"Shut up" you sobbed. Adrian felt that his soul was leaving his body, he felt that an arrow was piercing him directly in the heart at the thought that you didn't want to listen to him anymore. It was already too late? Was that the problem? Had you resigned yourself to the fact that Gordon was your only option? Or did you know that he was your best option? Did he really think you'd prefer a mediocre busboy and part-time killer like him? A whole stream of thoughts was running through his head when he felt your hand return to his cheek, cradling him tenderly "Please just shut up."

"But…"

“You are enough, Adrian” you exclaimed “Fuck, you are more than enough… you are absolutely everything I want. And I know you love me like no one else does. And I hate you for waiting so long to finally tell me."

There was no need to say anything more. He loved you and now you just said that you loved him too. So he could only lean in your direction so he could finally seal his confession with a kiss.

You were saying so many things and at the same time nothing. His hands traveled to your waist, holding you desperately. It was a needed kiss, a kiss for both of you to make sure it was real. He could feel your little sobs between the kiss and he wished he could make you never cry for anything in your life.

Suddenly he felt your hands sliding down his chest to separate him and again panic gripped him. But a second later you reached for his glasses and threw them to God knows where, then grabbed him by the back of his neck and joined in another kiss. You could practically feel your heart beating like crazy now that Adrian held you and his lips were on yours. You felt his tongue carefully outlining your mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss as your hands buried themselves in his black curls and you tasted the wine he had been consuming a few hours ago. You smiled at the thought that he had come to confess his love slightly drunk and almost groaned when he lowered both hands to your thighs, lifting you into the air as if you weighed nothing. You wrapped your legs around his hips to make his job easier, and he took a few steps forward to deposit you on the bed.

"Forgive me..." he began to whisper, separating just a few millimeters from your lips "I'm an idiot for not having seen it before..." then, another kiss "I love you so much..."

You didn't let him continue. There would be time to talk later, now all you wanted was to kiss him.

You don't know how long you were there, lying on the bed with the weight of his body on yours, feeling his hands gliding lightly down your sides, listening to his sighs every time you bit his lips, feeling his mouth part again and again just to rejoin you seconds later.

His taste was addictive and had begun to make you dizzy. You wanted to kiss him all your life, you didn't need to try other lips to know that his were the ones. Adrian was the man for you.

Knock, knock, knock.

You parted ways almost immediately. Even with the fear running through your veins you couldn't help but admire the boy: his moist and half-open lips, his pupils covering almost all the green of his eyes, and his agitated breathing.

"Shh," he murmured in your direction, using one of his fingers to gently place it on your lips. There was a mischievous gleam in her eyes and when he was about to kiss you the sound of the door was repeated.

“Y/N?”

"Damn, it's my father," you said barely audible, pushing him to stand next to the bed "Hide in the closet," you asked him, standing up too and smoothing your dress. Anyone who saw Adrian knew what he had been up to and you were sure you looked the same way. You were in a panic, trying to make everything look normal when he walked up to you and stole a quick kiss. Then another, and another, and another… "I'm serious!" you scolded him, seeing him grin like a child who had just pulled a prank “You can have as many as you want when he's gone, but if he finds you here there won't be anymore. Never” you exclaimed and that seemed to be enough for him to go into the closet. You took a look in the mirror and walked to the door, to find your father dressed in pajamas.

"Hello"

"Hi, what's up?" you asked, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Why are you wearing your dress?" he murmured, looking you up and down, slightly amused. "Were you crying?" he continued, a little more concerned. You let out a nervous laugh.

“I wasn't very convinced and I wanted to see it before tomorrow” you replied “Besides, I got a little sentimental. You know how I am,” you said shrugging your shoulders. In essence that was the truth.

"I know it's late, but I'd like to talk to you, can I come in?" he said quietly. You slid aside for him to pass, wishing with all your might that he didn't notice the open door of the wooden cabinet, and you saw how he sat on your bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" you exclaimed in his direction. You hadn’t the slightest idea why your father was in your room at almost midnight, with a slightly worried expression.

"It's about the wedding," he explained to you. Of all the people, he had the least opinion on the matter and you thought he had the right too. But you didn't know if it would be an opinion that you would like to hear, since most of them had been like this "Come, sit down" he asked you, patting the space on his side. You obeyed him and watched him, waiting for what he was about to say "This is... huh... kind of difficult."

“Are you afraid that he will run away in the middle of the ceremony?” you tried to joke Though at this point, you most likely weren't even in this one.

"Actually, I don't know if I'm scared or I want to encourage you to do it," he joked. You frowned and looked at him with a stupefied expression "Honey, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to answer me truthfully" he said. You nodded. "Do you really think you can love Gordon?"

The question hung in the air. Why did your father want to know that? He had noticed the obvious thing and yet no one had bothered to say it?

“Y/N…”

“No,” you said, almost instantly. There was a silence between the two of you before you spoke again, "Are you mad at me?"

“I am upset with myself. I don't know why I didn't ask you this before” he replied, softly. You saw him look down sadly and you felt the need to put your hand on his to comfort him in some way.

"It wasn’t your fault"

"And you're still going to marry him tomorrow?" he muttered. You bit your lip, debating whether to tell him the truth or not. But he didn't let you reply "You don't have to if you don't want to"

“And the debts?”

"Are you really going to lose your happiness for that?" he questioned. You didn't know what to say “This is not your obligation. You didn’t spend a penny of what you are going to pay and it is not your fault that your grandfather was a bad person. Your mother and I will find a way to get through things and the rest of the family might know the meaning of the word work,” he told you. You felt that you would cry again at any moment "But I want you to think about it and make a decision now"

"Why?"

“Because you still have time to run away” he replied. Was it your father who was motivating you to run away from your wedding? “You don't have to marry him just for this. You can marry who you want, when you want. You don't have to bear the mistakes of your family” you felt him hold your hands in his, with a smile “It's your life, live it as you want. Because if you live up to the expectations of others, you may regret it for the rest of your days."

A part of you knew that maybe he wasn't talking about you, but about himself. That maybe he was telling you the words that no one said to him and was giving you the option that they took away from him. And though it hurt to think of him being unhappy during his lifetime, you felt grateful that he was there with you. You wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be your father.

"I will, Dad," you said smiling, while you hugged him. You felt so lucky that finally someone thought of you before himself "Trust me"

"I have always done it. That's why I know that now you are a wonderful woman” he flattered you. You felt your lip trembling slightly.

"Thank you for this" you exclaimed, with all sincerity "I needed it" you added. He took a moment to look at you.

“Sometimes I forget how fast you've grown” he confessed “I've missed so much of your life. But I know you're happy and I want to keep it that way," he continued. There was a rather pleasant period of silence “I'll leave him to you to ponder. I hope you make the right decision for you,” he murmured. He got up from your bed and kissed you on the forehead, then headed for the door. When he was in the frame of it, he turned just a bit to say, "Though I think you've got it all figured out, right?" you were about to ask him what he meant, when he turned a little more and nodded towards the bed "Tell Adrian not to forget his glasses"

And when he left the room, you had the biggest smile of all.

“Oh, and I also like it when you laugh at my jokes, even if they're not that good. Makes me feel special” he murmured, making you giggle “Just like now”

Your father had already been gone for quite a while and you had kissed a bit more after that. Now that you had finally ceased your need to feel him close, you had lain together in bed, you resting on his chest with the dress still on. And when you were in that position, Adrian set out to list a hundred things he loved about you. Not just as a joke, he was actually telling you every tiny detail that he adored.

"Why did we wait so long for this?" you asked. The dark environment was so serene and calm that you didn't have to speak more than a whisper. You were tracing random patterns with your finger (from the hand where there was now no ring) on ​​his chest and he was doing the same on your back, both of you with your eyes focused on the neon stars shining above your heads.

"Because we're idiots" he answered simply, making you smile "Shit, even your father noticed during the weeks we were here and it took us years and almost a wedding"

"Yes, we are a bit idiotic" you laughed, looking up and meeting his. Suddenly his lips looked so appetizing again and you couldn't help but climb onto his lap and then lean in to kiss him.

This kiss was slower, more intimate, and at the same time warmer. Now his hands were taking the time to gently slide up your thighs and up to your waist, trying to remember all the details as he passed as if you were going to disappear with the light of dawn.

When you separated you heard a slight click between your lips and you kept your foreheads together, enjoying the closeness.

"We should stay here forever," you suggested. He rubbed the tip of his nose with yours and you felt him smile beneath you.

“I absolutely love the idea. But I think we can't, sweetheart.”

"Why not?" you asked, pouting a little and pulling away so you could look at him. You've never seen Adrian look at you so sweetly as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I have to leave. There is a very important mission to accomplish”

“And what is that mission? If I can know”

You saw him smile and shortly after he reached up to reach your lips with a kiss.

"I'm going to steal a bride"

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[hot-wiings]

The One Where Izuku Follows Katsuki's 'Advice' Only To Be Intercepted By A Girl.

Edited: 4-21-2021

'Sorry kid, it's not gonna happen.'

For as long as Izuku could remember he had wanted to be a hero. The same old video of All Might he had watched a million times filled him with such an unspeakable feeling. Filled him with hope, and happiness. A hope and happiness he wanted to share with others. An inspiration he wanted to give other people.

Even at the ripe age of four, Izuku didn't let the doctor's words deter him. Even though he was told he was quirkless, even though he knew he would not have the same advantage as others on the hero field, Izuku wanted to achieve his dream. He wanted to achieve his dream, to grasp it, to live it, and make it his reality. Even though Izuku should've given up right then and there in the doctor's office, he persisted, he smiled.

'You know if you really wanna be a hero that badly, there actually might be another way. Just pray that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a swan dive off the roof of the building.'

Izuku tried to manage his dream. Even up until the age of fourteen, he was attempting to achieve those plans he made at four years old. Holding the hero notebook in his hands, the wet notebook that contained all of his notes on the heroes he'd taken an interest in since he was diagnosed, Katsuki's words ring through his head.

How could he say that? Izuku knows he's right. He's right, Kacchan is always right. But Izuku can't give up that hope in his chest. He can't give up these dreams he's been having. He can't let go of those substantial visions. He needs to have it, he needs to grasp it for himself. He can't just turn tail now, he needs to train, he needs to apply to UA and achieve. Izuku did not give up hope in the doctor's office, and he was not going to give up hope by the coy pond, instead, he smiled like a hero. He smiled and made his way home.

'This job isn't easy, pro-heroes are always having to risk their lives. Some villains just can't be beaten without powers, so no, I honestly don't think you can become a hero without a quirk.'

He persisted. He smiled. He tried to achieve his dream. He tried to achieve it, he tried to put on that smile and fake it when he felt like he couldn't, but the reality was staring him down in the face.

Izuku hadn't imagined he'd be captured by a villain, a sludge villain. Of all the criminals in the area, it had to be a low B ranked villain. Out of all the B-ranked villains, Izuku never imagined All Might, the world's greatest hero, his hero, would've shown up to save him. He also never imagined that he would have discovered All Might's real identity. He couldn't help but ask him that question, the question of whether someone quirkless like himself, could become a hero like him.

He wanted a different answer. He wanted to be reassured by his idol. He wanted to be told that it was manageable, that he could have a future in heroism if he worked hard enough. His ears rang as All Might's words came out. Even as he left, leaving Izuku on the rooftop alone, his ears were ringing. He stood there for a while, tears dribbling down his cheeks. If the world's greatest hero didn't think he could do it then why should he? If the symbol of hope and peace didn't believe in him, why should he? Kacchan was right, he was a failure. He was pathetic and defenseless. He should just take a swan dive off the building.

Izuku couldn't believe the words running through his head, but he couldn't stop them once they began rolling. He was pathetic, he was a failure. How humiliated his mother must've felt having to have such a failure as a son. People talked, the woman in his neighborhood talked. Often, Izuku could hear the old woman bragging about the children, and he knew he would never be bragged about. The more he thought about it, the more Izuku felt drawn to the ledge.

Izuku was broken out of his dark reverie and thoughts as a young woman bursts through the door, and not even seeing or noticing Izuku's presence, runs straight for the ledge. She couldn't have been any older than him, and she had tears running down her cheeks. As she slipped her shoes off and began to discard her sweater Izuku was quick to jump into action. Without even thinking his legs started moving after her.

"Hey, don't do it! Please..."

By the time Izuku had reached the girl, she was barefoot up on the ledge, hair blowing wildly in the wind. Izuku smiled up at her, the kind of smile All Might gave, the smile he'd been trying to imitate for years. Tears slid down the girl's cheeks as she turned around and stared at him with what Izuku could only describe as empty.

"It's okay, just come down."

Izuku tried his best to coax you down without scaring or startling you. You stumbled a bit but quickly caught your balance as Izuku took slow, careful steps closer to the edge.

"This has nothing to do with you, why do you care?!"

"Because- Because that's not what a hero would do! I can't just sit idly by and let someone throw their life away like that. Just come down, you don't wanna do this."

"I can't! You don't know me, you don't understand-"

"Then explain it to me. Make me understand, just don't do this."

More tears rolled down your cheeks as you looked down at the roads below the building. You should just jump, every cell in your body urged you to jump but looking down at the boy stopped you. Hearing him yell with such pleading, seeing him smile so indignantly, prevented you from moving. The least you could do was hear him out first, he was taking the time to coax you out of a decision you couldn't deter yourself from.

"I'm a failure. I'm a pathetic failure. I'm quirkless, and I know that's a stupid reason to jump... But being a hero runs in my family, and if I can't be a hero I have nothing. Everyone at school ridicules me, and while she says otherwise, I know my mom resents me for not continuing the legacy."

"Don't worry about what other people think, hold your head high and plunge forward."

"That's not enough. I'm such a failure, I'm a waste."

You take a small step backward, almost ready to jump down and catapult yourself to your death but Izuku screams out again preventing you.

"Stop! Wait! Sometimes I do feel like I'm a failure like there's no hope for me. I'm quirkless too, and my hero told me I can't become a hero, but even so, I'm not gonna give up. Ever!"  

You halt your tracks at Izuku's words, turning around again to look at him. He was quirkless, yet he dreamed of being a hero. He was told by his hero he couldn't be one, yet he was persisting.

"You really think you can be a hero?"

You're about to turn tail. You're about to step down, off, and away from the ledge when your foot slips. Just the slightest shift made you begin to fall. You scream, expecting to fall off the building, but instead, Izuku jumps up the ledge. He stumbles a bit but wraps his arms around you, and flings his body towards the building. By the time you're processing what happened, you're pulled off the ledge and collapsing in the arms of the boy on the ground.

"Why did you do that?! You could've fallen down!"

"Because I think I can be a hero, and I think you can be one too."

Although that day you thought Izuku saved you, you had actually saved him from jumping himself, something he wouldn't tell you until he built up the courage to ask you out after you both graduated from UA.

[lazysublimeengineer]

i tasted life

Title: i tasted life

Summary: He could say thousands of words laced in silky threads of affection and sweet encouragement. But he wasn’t made that way. Words were not his forte.

Character/s: Ryuuguugi "Draken" Ken, Hanagaki "Takemitchy" Takemichi, Kawaragi Senju

I tasted life

- Emily Dickinson

His jet-black jacket glistened sharply under the moonlight as they traversed back to their residences after that meeting with the Brahman. Takemichi was uncharacteristically silent as he stared straight ahead on the road. The normally bubbly and boisterous blond was reticent as he walked beside Draken who had his hands in both of his pockets. Takemichi was still processing the earlier events that had happened at that meeting which frankly looked like an underground fighting ground that reminded him of that unsanctioned street fighting led by Kiyomasa during their middle school years.

After the official announcement made by Senju about him now being a member of the Brahman, that’s when it finally hit him. He really was risking everything on the line including his life again to make Mikey’s future great and peaceful along with them. Nevertheless, Takemichi didn’t feel any anxiety or doubt within himself. He felt that he was doing the right thing and everything was falling into the right pieces.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that wanted to crawl outside of his being.

“Oi. Takemitchy.”

Draken’s familiar deep and baritone voice jolted him out of his thoughts and looked up at him. Those sharp yet concerned obsidian irises were trained on him as if trying to decipher his innermost feelings and thoughts with that single gaze alone.

A warm feeling started to creep inside his chest and Takemichi resisted the urge to smile like an idiot in front of him.

“Yeah Draken-kun?” Takemichi gazed back at him curiously.

“You okay there? I can almost hear your loud, running thoughts you know.” He commented noncommittally but there was a tinge of concern beneath his nonchalant tone.

It made Takemichi chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Ah, sorry about that Draken-kun. I got lost in my head again. Sometimes.” He smiled sheepishly at him.

It made Draken paused and just stared at Takemichi’s figure who was now walking past him. But the blond had noticed that he stopped walking and turned back to him.

“Draken-kun?”

Draken didn’t know what kind of face he was making but Takemichi looked at him with his tender, blue eyes that were devoid of malice and were just watching in genuine predilection and goodwill.

It made something inside of him break. He could say thousands of words laced in silky threads of affection and sweet encouragement. But he wasn’t made that way. Words were not his forte.

But what he lacked in words made up for the simplicity of his actions and for him that was enough.

He walked quietly towards Takemichi and stopped right in front of him. Before the other could react, his arms enveloped him in a firm yet gentle hug.

“You’re wearing that kind of face once again Takemitchy. For once, I gotta tell you to stop looking like that cause you’re not alone in this fight. Not anymore. We’ll save and bring Mikey back together. Understood?” His whisper was a gentle caress around Takemichi’s being that promised a brighter future and a dazzling ray of hope.

However, why did it feel different for Takemichi?

Why did it feel like a veil of a passing bell under the gloomy skies hung around them?

“Yeah…” Takemichi choked out a response, trying to swallow back his tears but his eyes glistened slowly. He could only return back his hug tightly as if he was afraid to let him go.

Takemichi couldn’t afford to break down and cry now even if he was on the verge of wailing like a lost kid. He promised himself that he wouldn’t lose his resolve and would just keep on fighting to make things better for all of them. Although he felt like his entire being was drowning away in quicksand, just being in Draken’s arms and firm grip seemed like a strong foundation that he can lean on.

“Thank you Draken-kun…” He whispered back and the other could only hug him back tighter in response.

“No. Thank you Takemitchy. For saving me and everyone. I’ll make sure that this will be your last mission for us.”

Takemichi’s heart quavered loudly inside his chest at his response and he wasn’t sure if it’s a good or a bad thing.

Takemichi inserted his keys into the keyhole of the front door of his house and turned on the knob. After his brief but lingering moment of respite with Draken on the road, exhaustion finally crept inside of him. All he wanted to do was to fall back on his bed and sleep the night away since he knew that he had to be prepared for the next day to come. He went inside and turned on the lights, flooding the living room with a brilliant spark of the white light.

The silence was deafening inside his house but it was nothing new.

He got used to living alone and greeting no one since his parents were busy with their own careers and lives to pay attention to him anyway.

The numbness inside his heart was growing but he chose to ignore it and just headed straight to his room upstairs when he paused all of a sudden, blinking a few times when he heard a noise.

A shiver ran down Takemichi’s spine before he steeled himself and continued making his way upstairs cautiously.

As he got nearer, he could hear someone singing. It’s like a song being played. Was the radio on?

A long, long time ago

I can still remember how that music

Used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those people dance

And maybe they'd be happy for a while

It was a smooth voice of a male singing an English song that Takemichi knew nothing about. But the tone of the song had a funny yet melancholic vibe to him for some strange reason.

He was now standing in front of his doorstep to his room.

But February made me shiver

With every paper I'd deliver

Bad news on the doorstep

I couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried

When I read about his widowed bride

Something touched me deep inside

The day the music died

Takemichi swallowed thickly. His heart was hammering wildly inside his chest as his hand reached out to turn the knob of the door to open it and what greeted his line of sight made him froze and mind blanked out for a second.

So, bye-bye, Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry

And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye

Singin', "This'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die"

In front of him was a phonograph, playing a vinyl.

And a blond male sitting in a chair with his wide eyes open and his mouth dripping with blood that went through his shirt and painted it a dark shade of crimson.

It was him.

He screamed and shot up from the bed all of a sudden. Takemichi looked around. He’s inside his own room and in his pajamas. There’s no phonograph that sounded like a death knell.

And there’s no dead doppelganger in front of him.

He was awakened from his nightmare which was dressed like a daydream.

“Hanagaki!” Senju hollered at him when he successfully tackled her on the ground and shielded her away from the bullets that the masked man shot in front of them.

“Are you alright Senju?” He asked worriedly.

“Eh?” Senju could only look up at him, still taken aback by what he did.

“I can’t let you die.” Takemichi said determinedly, staring at her intently which made the other gawk at him in silence, a slight blush marring her cheeks.

“Die Hanagaki!” The masked man screamed at them and shot at them again with his gun.

Takemichi could only close his eyes tightly as he waited for the bullets to land on his body.

But it never came.

“You good Takemitchy?” Draken drawled out as he glanced at him before approaching the masked men who grew fearful of him and dropped their guns, running away.

It made Takemichi opened his eyes and stared at Draken with wide eyes.

“Thank you so much Draken-kun…” There was gratefulness behind his voice.

Draken smiled wryly before he kicked the gun away. “They got the nerve to attack with such dangerous weapons.”

After Takemichi made sure that Senju’s completely okay, he went towards Draken’s spot and quickly leaned closer to his ear to whisper something.

“Let’s keep us it between us, but… Just now, I was able to foresee the future.”

It made Draken’s eyes wide for a fraction of a second.

“In that future, I saw Senju protecting me. I’ve prevented that outcome.” Takemichi continued to whisper seriously to him.

Meanwhile, Senju was looking at both of them with a curious yet perplexed expression on her face.

“What are you guys whispering about?” She asked.

“It’s all thanks to you Draken-kun. We’ve successfully changed one future!”

“Is that so…” Draken had a wistful smile on his face afterward. “Then I’m glad.”

“Hey, I think we gotta go! We’ll be in trouble if someone gets here!” Senju cut off their whisperings towards each other with a worried reminder.

Takemichi immediately sprang into action. “Ah, you’re right!”

They’re both running now when Takemichi noticed that Draken was just standing there and not doing anything.

“Draken-kun?” He paused and called out hesitantly.

His back was still turned to him when Draken spoke his words. “Takemichi… Please tell this to Mikey…”

“Huh?”

“Don’t cause too much trouble…”

“What are you talking about?! You tell him yourse-.”

He stopped midsentence when Draken crumpled down to the ground like a ragdoll.

Takemichi felt like a cold bucket of water was spilled on him as his eyes grew wide as saucers and stood frozen for a moment.

“I’ve done all I can do.” Draken murmured with a peaceful smile on his lips as his eyes watched dazedly on the raindrops that pelted on his body.

I started singin', bye-bye, Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry

Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye

Singin', "This'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die"

(A/N: The day I own these characters is the day that my fanfic is the bestselling novel on the market which will never happen. Inspired by the events from chapter 221 of the manga. Senju lived. Mikey finally appeared. But at what cost? Also, I was listening to the song American Pie by Don Mclean when I was writing this fic and it fits since behind that upbeat yet lazy tone of the singer, the lyrics and the message of the song are quite tragic. Which honestly fits into the latest chapter of the manga. Lastly, where the hell is Wakasa? He only appeared for 2 chapters and I missed him already. I need to see him in the next chapter to free me from the angsty land of the latest chapter. Reviews are entertaining. So, let me hear them from you.)

[sweetcherrypie1967]

Narcissa’s Secret

It was a little known fact that Narcissa Malfoy was a skilled legilimens and occlumens, even more so than her sister Bellatrix. It was how she was able to be part of the Death Eater meetings without having a Dark Mark herself. It pained her that she wasn't able to save her son from the fate she was able to avoid. It pained Narcissa that her husband was foolish enough to jump into such a fate head first, damning the rest of his family without so much as consulting them.

She had begging Lucius to let their son choose his own fate, Narcissa would have begging the Dark Lord himself not to do it but it was her husband who insisted on it. It shattered her heart, hearing Draco's pain filled screams echo throughout the Manor.

Her baby boy, forced to be just like those monsters.

Narcissa tried talking Draco into leaving, run off to any corner of the world to get out and start over or even go to Dumbledore's group. In the beginning Draco had scoffed at the idea but the more she pushed, the more she could see him consider it. While he never went out and said it, there's been a definite change in him compared to when she first brought it up all those months ago.

Now she was standing silently, watching as they brought in the Potter boy, one of the Weasley's offspring and the muggleborn girl. Narcissa noticed a shift in Draco that no one else but his mother would catch, she began watching him closely. She tried to hide a smile as he lied about knowing their identity, Draco's ears always turned pink when he lied. It was a tell that she made sure no one else knew about, not even Lucius.

"Take them all to the dungeons...all except for the Mudblood,"

Narcissa could practically feel the anger radiating off of Draco. It confused her why his reaction was so strong, she knew he didn't want anyone to be harmed let alone someone he knew -he wasn't a monster- but he was always going on about how much Draco 'hated' Potter's pet.

Then it clicked.

The change in him, his reaction earlier and his now. They were all connected, it was because of her!

Just to be positive she cast a silent legilimens on the girl while everyone else was distracted. Her mind was very strong, but once Bella had her way..it weakened significantly. Narcissa didn't have to look to see how pained he was when the girl's screams began. Echoing throughout his own home while he could do nothing but stand there.

What Narcissa saw in her mind shocked her beyond belief.

She searched through her memories, looking for anything to do with her son, when she stumbled upon something no one was supposed to find.

It was Draco and Hermione...kissing! As if they'd done it millions of times before. It was the most prominent memory she could find with him in it, and it was only a few months old. But..too soon to be in Hogwarts. Narcissa's mind instantly went to one of the days Voldemort wasn't in Malfoy Manor, he had left the Manor to visit his friends at Zabini Manor. Narcissa had suspected he was leaving something out of his story, but allowed it. Now, she knew what he was really up to.

She went through what seemed like hundreds of other memories, them sitting together on a couch talking, in the Astronomy Tower after curfew watching the stars and laughing with many more. Narcissa has never seen Draco look as happy as he was in these memories. One in particular caught her attention, unlike most others she saw it was more sad than happy. It was in the Astronomy Tower.

"Please Draco, don't go," Hermione begged in a whisper through her tears.

Draco gave her a sad smile, he wanted to oh so badly. "We both know that I need to go, it's what's best for the Order," Draco said.

"You don't have too! It's too dangerous, please. Dumbledore will understand. Don't leave me," Hermione begged, looking at him with glassy eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment, both hearts breaking at what had to be done.

"Hermione, you don't know how much I wish I could stay. I'd never leave your side through all this rubbish, but you heard the Headmaster. The Order needs me to spy on them. If I can earn their trust, if I can prove to Dumbledore and Potter and even bloody Weasley that I've changed. That I can be who you deserve, then I have to do it," Draco said.

"I don't care what Harry and Ron think-" Draco gave her a disbelieving look, "ok yes I do but I'm going to be with you no matter what. If they don't think you're worthy of me then that's their own bloody problem because I know you are and..I love you,"

Draco's eyes snapped to hers, searching for her sincerity before his face broke out in a grin, "I love you too, Granger."

They both kissed and the memory faded.

Narcissa's son was in love with Potter's pet? Hermione Granger? More importantly, he was working as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix?! Part of her was ecstatic, her son found love and took her advice to get out of this life Lucius had lay out for them! Another part, however, was scared. Being a spy, let alone for spying on Voldemort himself, was very dangerous business. If one was spying on the Dumbledore, they wouldn't have the guts to kill them but Voldemort wouldn't think twice about it.

Narcissa's focus was abruptly interrupted by the whole ordeal with Potter and Weasley saving Hermione and escaping with Dobby. She wasn't expecting her ex House Elf to be their savior but as long as they were going someplace safe. Narcissa knew Dobby used to enjoy listening to Draco rant and rave about the Potter boy and his little group. It was plain that he became fascinated, she wasn't sure if he simply didn't understand her son's sarcasm or just read between the lines.

Once the whole ordeal was done she practically dragged Draco into a separate room and cast every silencing charm she knew on it. She rounded on him and she could see he was guarded and..scared? Draco's fists were shaking along with the rest of him, probably trying to gain enough self control not to go after Bella for what she did.

"Would you mind telling me what that was all about?" Narcissa asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean with the Granger girl," she said and he set his jaw defensively, "I saw her memories, Draco. I know you switched sides..and I know you love her."

His shoulders dropped slightly but he was still on guard. Just because she knew doesn't mean she wouldn't tell, it pained Narcissa that Draco would even think she would put him in danger like that.

"What's there to tell if you already know everything?" Draco said.

"Well I didn't have quite the time to see everything, and I'd like an explanation," Narcissa said.

“How do I know you won’t go off and tell Father or the Dark Lord himself,” he said.

“Because I’m your mother, Draco,” she said softly, “I would never intentionally put you in any danger if I could prevent it. I love you more than life itself.”

He sighed in defeat, "Hermione, she caught me..in a vulnerable moment. I was overwhelmed by my task and the fact my plans never seemed to work. She offered for me to join their cause, even full immunity for me and you. After all you've said, I've been thinking about it and I accepted. I think it surprised her almost as much as it surprised me," Draco said with a slight laugh remembering, "we went to Dumbledore and he made a plan. It was decided that I was to spy in His ranks and give information back and forth, though only the bare minimum of members knew about my involvement. Me and Hermione began meeting secretly if I received any information and she would keep me updated with anything she was allowed to inform me. As time went on though, it wasn't always about the Order. I fell in love with her and she says she loves me too," he concluded with a warm smile.

"That settles it," Narcissa said sternly. Draco waited anxiously for her next words, "we're getting you out."

"Out? I'm a spy, I can't leave," he said confused.

"The Order already has spies in the Dark Lord's ranks, you don't need to be one of them. I'll even send information if that's what it'll take. You need to be there for your Hermione," she said. Narcissa expected an argument but he sighed and agreed with her.

Only on one condition, she wasn't to act as a spy. 'Too dangerous' he said, the little hypocrite.

They had snuck him out that very night.

Months and months went on without so much as a word from it about Draco. This was good. He was keeping a low profile, it would be dangerous for him to send her anything. But Narcissa couldn't help but worry. What if he hadn't found them? What if something went wrong with Potter or the Weasley boy? What if he got hurt?

So many questions that would have to remain unanswered until it was all over.

The Battle of Hogwarts had taken many lives, including her insane sister Bellatrix. She'd have to thank Mrs. Weasley later, Bella has always caused more harm than good.

Narcissa was especially thankful that when it was all over, her son was still standing and with the Granger girl by his side. Not a perfect ending, she thought, but at least it can still be a happy one.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Soulmate AU

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can he handle it?

Kai's point of view since you guys wanted

Reader's view

Soulmates... a mere distraction and useless thing that appeared on the humanity. Seing thise with disgusting little versions of other persons on their shoulder or just howering over their head just gave him the nerves.

Ever since he turned 18, he tried to not think about it much... his chibi didn't appeared, and probably never would... Pops and Kurono always gave him as younger the bullshit of "be patient" or "Those things take time."

He didn't believed that neither want it. He didn't needed a stupid sick person to distract him from his mission... that's what he told himself.

One day, working he heard a crash and immediately sighed in annoyance. It wasn't a good day for him and he wasn't on the mood to atture anyone. Almost throwing his pen down, he got up with a grunt and went in search of where the noise went only to find the living room in complete chaos as Mimic, Nemoto and Setsuno holded weapons while looking at the ground.

"What the hell..?" He muttered before Setsuno shouted an "THERE! KILL IT!" before the three man started to stab, shot the ground as little squeak's echoed in the room.

He was about to scold everyone on that room before he almost shouted when he felt the reason of their misbehaviour bump into his leg. Looking down, glove already discarded, he saw a what was supposed to be a tiny creature, eyes shinning a vibrant (E/c) color while looking up at him while adjusting their (H/c) hair.

"What the-?" He cringed and hissed when the creature hugged his ankle and went to kill it before a elder hand grabbed on his wrist. The owner demanding that everyone excluding Chisaki left the room.

"Pops with all due respect-"

"My boy, after years you're really going to kill your soulmate?" The elder spoke with a frown as Chisaki tried to not widen his eyes. Pops crouched down and gently cupped the chibi in his hands and brought up for him and Kai to see more closely.

"My, isn't that one of prettiest chibis I saw?" The elder chuckled as the chibi blushed and squeaked happily at the man's commentary as Kai narrowed his eyes at the little thing. "Don't you agree my boy?" The elder asked as Kai glared one more time at the chibi before scoffing and storming out of the room.

The chibi tilted their head as Pops chuckled, letting the pretty thing down on the ground to follow Kai.

He sighed before widening his amber eyes at hearing the squeaking following him. He turned around and send a dark glare at the chibi who only smiled lovingly at him.

"Shoo. Be gone." He tried to shove them with his foot by all in vain since the chibi attached to his ankle and squeaked happily as he cringed. "GET OFF!"

Kurono appeared on the halls before snorting at the scene before commenting.

"Found your soulmate?"

"Shut up and help me get rid of this!" Kai glared at his friend who made a thoughtful expression before smirking and denying, hlgetting out and leaving Kai with the lovely chibi on his ankle.

.

.

.

He groaned as he tried to work and the chibi continued walking, playing or even squeaking to get his attention. The chibi wouldn't just leave him alone and always followed or tried to cuddle one part of his body and was getting already on his nerves.

His pacience broke when the chibi accidentally let a bit of his pen fall and he slammed his hands on his desk. Making the chibi squeak, but this time in fear.

"Get. Out. Of my office." He growled the words between his teeth, glaring at the chibi as hives slowly started to appear on his skin "I don't want to even hear your stupid squeaking or see your disgusting face again. Out."

The chibi stayed silent as Kai continued glaring at it before he let out a confused and quite shock noise when tears started to roll down their round cheeks as the chibi jumped from his desk and ran out of his office.

"Well... at least some peace." He sighed before taking his seat again. Getting back to work despite a feeling of guilt starting to grow on the back of his head.

It had been more than six hours since he last saw his chibi soulmate ever since he... blow off. Walking around the halls he couldn't help but sometimes look behind him sometimes to check if the chibi was following him... but it wasn't.

Frowning a bit he shook his head before an idea popped into his mind. Getting his phone out and start his research about the chibis.

Reading more and more about them he saw that his soulmate was actually a quite patient one... normally chibis when ignored by only half an hour they ran away from the person and never heard of again.... but it has been days since he had tried to ignore their existence, and his soulmate was still there, happily following him like a puppy.

Reading ore and more his heart dropped subconsciously when he saw that chibis were extremely fragile creatures. One hit and they might end up the actual person on a very bad and dangerous way. His worry and guilt were too overbearing as he got up and decided to look for the chibi around the house... just to prevent a death.

Yeah... it was only because of that. Je didn't wanted the yakusa to have a bad reputation if one person died becaus of a chibi.... because he was an asshole to them.

Although it reached around the night hours. And still hadn't found the damn chibi. Kurono noticed his distress and he admited the whole story so he could help him.

Kai was almost losing his mind, already admitting that he missed his chibi soulmate, not hearing their annoying squeak was torture now.

"Relax dude, we're going to find-"

"Is my fault. I shouldn't have growled at it." He admited begrudgingly, as Kurono tried his best to not just nod in agreement to not make his friend more stressed than he was.

The two walked towards the kitchen to get a drink before Kai almost felt his breath being ripped out of his chest when he saw the damn brat, sitting on the kitchen counter nibbling on a fruit, not aware of the presence of the two males on the room.

"There it is." Hati smirked as Kai let out a relieved sigh, hesitantly walking towards the chibi as Kurono went to bed.

"You brat, where were you?" He hadn't meant for his tone to be harsh, but immediately cringed when the chibi let out a terrified squeak and hidded behind the basquet of fruitsm

He did deserve that.

Sighing, he got a chair to sit down as he watched like a hawks the shaken chibi as he frowned.

"Apologies." He said nonchantly bit noticed it wasn't enough for the chibi to even poke their head out to look at him. "... I never expected to have a soulmate. I was always barely on my own... and as you cam see I am not the best person to be around of." He looked at the door frame a bit, the corner of his eyes spotting the chibi slowly getting out "Whenever I'm around, the fun ends. That's how always has been since the old man took me in. I... guess that I just think that I'm not suitable to have someone... I would just let them down anyway." He flinched and tensed at feeling something on his hand, only to look down at the chibi hugging his hand and looking up at him before squeaking a smile.

"... even despite of what I did to you, you forgive me that easy?" He arched one eyebrow at the another squeak. His smirk was hidded thanks by his mask as he awkwardly rubbed their chubby cheek with his thumb.

"Brat." He whispered as the chibi squeaked again as he allowed himself to finally be relieved on that day.

.

.

.

Ever since them, he put the brat, as he decided to call, on his shoulder since they seemed like to enjoy snuggle up on the purple feathers of his jacket. Everyone who dared to aproach or even try to touch it, Chisaki immediatly would overhaul them on the spot.

The brat, when the both were alone would always squeak loudly whenever he was wearing his mask. Grumpily he would take it off just to stop hearing the squeaking only for the chibi to kiss his cheek or even lips and ran away from him.

"Why you little-"

Rappa almost stepped on the chibi once, and no one believed that Kai actually shouted and cursed the man... no one even knew that Chisaki knew much cursed words as Kendo himself.

One day, opening the door of Eri's room he called the girl who shakily stood up before both of them widened their eyes when hearing a squeak and the chibi just popping out of Chisaki's jacket and waving at Eri.

"....u-uh...."

"Don't comment and just go Eri."

He really didn't know whether he should ignore it or just want the floor to swallow him after that.

.

.

.

Loosening his tie around is neck he found the chibi on the middle of his bed crying. Anger and concern immediately ran up to his veins as he looked around for any signs fro someone else that could have hitted you or other thing.

Then he remember something, chibis usually reflected what their actual versions were feeling at the moment and for the first time he felt empathy... slowly taking a seat he saw the tiny drops of water espace their eyes.

His gloved hand grabbed them, making them squeak as he apologised. Lowering his mask he glared at the chibi a bit before hesitantly and awkwardly peeking them.

Immediatly the humor of the chibi changed as they let out inumerous squeaks amd hugged his bare face and peppered it with tiny smooches as he grunted.

"I regret my decision already..." he growled as the chibi squeaked even more.

.

.

.

"They sound like they hadn't sleep in ages." Kurono commented with a laugh at seing Kai's soulmate almost drooling on his shoulder as Kai stared blankly at them.

"They're just a lazy brat." He murmured nonchantly before returning his gaze at his front as the chibi let out a cute yawn. "You know the deal, give them the product and leave, or else shoot."

"Got it." They went to turn on a alleyway before Kai let out a grunt when his chibi yanked on his pierced ear and started to squeak loudly and jump on his shoulder.

"What the hell?" Kurono commented as Kai grabbed the chibi on his gloved hand and glared at them.

"What's wrong with-" the chibi bited on his gloved hand and jumped on the floor and stomped out as Kai stared in horror as Kurono was froze in shock "they never did this before."

"Go after them. I will slow down the business." Kai nodded ass he ran after his chibi, ready to give them an hour of lecture for daring to pinch their small teeth on his hand.

"Get THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME-!" he shoved past the people as he ran after his soulmate that despite being little it was fast."GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT!"

The chibi stopped amd looked at him with a smile, poiting at the entrance of a market, squeaking and jumping before entering the place.

"You want to get killed you little-?!" He groaned and stormed in the market looking at the ground desperatly... he was already panicking again before he spotted the little shit turning on a aisle.

"For God's sake brat dont you-?!" He stopped on his tracks when he saw his chibi on the arms of another one. A small version of himself as it hugged lovingly his brat while he could even feel hearts emitting out of them.

"I see..." he muttered in shock to himself before gasping quietly when he heard another's voice, something like "goldie" before they stopped behind his chibi self.

He locked gaze with the familiar (E/c) beautiful eyes. His actual soulmate... was standing there, right in front of him...

They started to slowly take steps towards him and he subsconciously did the same...

He could feel his brat smilling up at him... as his own and only future love of his life giggled when he arched an eyebrow at then before laughing.

Exactly like he suspected...

He couldn't help but smile at the angel in front of him, knowing that for the first time on his life. Soulmates were actually a blessing since he finally found his brat.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains

Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly F! reader. Aka my favorite cliche trope. It lives in my head every second of the day.

This is the FIRST HALF because its too much words to fit in one post ! :(

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

“Excuse me sir? Do you have a fitting room?”

He blinks finally realizing you are in front of him looking a little huffy, bunching up your cheeks waiting for his answer. Kyo rubs the back of his neck showing off his wolf sleeve to you along with his tone muscles after playing volleyball in highschool. He points with his chin towards the left. “In the back” he tells you. The smile you give him just about melts his fucking heart

***

Oikawa can be heard having a stroke pretty much in the background and a loud slap making him shut up. Kyo shows you where the fitting room is and its more like a room with a curtain on it . You skip past him going in and before you close the curtain you smile at him again.

“Dont leave! I want a second opinion, okay?!?” The curtain whipped closed.

Kyo looked over at his friends and Iwazuimi just nodded fast while Oikawa gave him a thumbs up. Kyo rolled his eyes looking down at his clothes while he waited. A black shirt with a wolf on it , black jeans with rips in them , chains hanging around his pockets and tan boots . He rubs his volleyball tattoo and glances at his sleeve thinking for a minute. Not once had he seen someone like you in his store, even on his day off his friends would text him if such a thing ever happened. So what exactly were you doing?

You flipped your dress over the curtain and Kyos eyes immediately caught it. He looked over his arm and the two were trying not to panic. When he looked back you peeked out from the curtain smiling.

“Ok ready? Be honest ok?”

“...sure..”

you moved the curtain and posed for him. “So?”

It was wonderful, the skirt the shirt the way they fit perfectly on you , the colors looked great on you too even if the shirt was a mix of dark colors and the skirt was red. Kyo gulped taking it in, god he hoped you would be a regular after this.

“Its perfect sweetie.” He said , eyes wide in disbelief.

“Ee really?!?”

“ yes.”

You giggled closing the curtain again and pulled your dress down. Kyo looked over his shoulder again and Iwazuimi had his head on the register and Oikawa was just giving him a thumbs up.

You skipped outta the dressing room holding the items and giving Kyo a smile . “Ill take em !” You told him full of eagerness.

“Okay okay.” He motioned for you to follow him to the register , giving his friends a look till they moved. Kyo went around the desk and rang up the stuff abd of course Oikawa had to say something.

“Never seen a cutie like you before in here!”

Kyo looked over at him and Iwazuimi pulled him away. “I just remembered a shipment came in”

“Iwa-chaaaan”

It was just you and him now. Kyo had no idea what to say to you , fuck he really was awful with girls. He placed the bag on the register and you took it from him , your fingers touching his knuckles and rings for a second. Kyo rubbed his knuckles with his free hand not looking at you.

“Thank you!”

“Uh huh. Anytime.”

He was waiting for the bell on the door to go off, signalling that you left but it never came. Kyo was getting slightly annoyed, not at you but himself. He cant even make conversation.

“I like your tattoo!!!”

He blinked looking over at you to see you pointing to his wolf sleeve. “Its so pretty!!”

“Thank you.”

“Uhm i know people dont like their tattoos touched but i wanted to tell you its pretty.”

“.....you can touch it…” good, cmon Kyo… “i dont mind.” He held his arm out.

“Really?!?” Her hands hovered over it and Kyo nodded slowly.

Slowly you placed your hands on his arm on the first wolf. Kyos hand was in a fist he was so nervous , no female had ever asked to touch his ink before let alone talk to him . You were so soft, feeling your fingers glide over his wolves was the best thing he felt in a long time. It was almost as satisfying as spiking the ball.

“All so pretty!!” You ran your hands up while you spoke. “I want one but im so nervous!!!”

He couldn't help but smile at that. “Oh yeah? Of what?”

“Mm!! I love red pandas.. they are just so cute and tiny !! But also kittens are cute.. “ you stopped at the biggest wolf on his upper arm. He felt you squeeze his muscle.

“Red pandas and kittens would be cool” he told you , trying to flex his arm without you noticing.

“Mmm!!! But the red pandas… they are so fuzzy . And im a little scared of the pain.” Squeeze squeeze.

“It only hurts for a little while.” His face felt red and his hand was no longer a fist. “Maybe i can go with you if you decide to do it. My guy did all my ink.”

You jumped and squeezed for a minute before letting go. “REALLY?!? I . Well uh, youll be there if i get scared ?”

Kyo gave you a smug smile as he rubbed his sleve. “Yeah yeah, you can squeeze my hand if you get scared or it hurts too much.”

“Ah yay!!” You pulled your phone outta your bag and handed it to him. It took him a second to realize what you wanted. Kyo put his number in and you took the phone back giggling.

“Kyo! Okay! Ill see you tonight!!!” You waved goodbye leaving the store and Iwa and Kawa ran over tackling Kyo to the ground .

They teased him till he got fed up and pushed them off . They all sat on the floor just taking in the moment. The look on Iwas face was perfect, he was so proud of his friend and Kawa was too but also he wanted to make jokes . Kyo leaned on the register just staring at his rings with a smile. His phone buzzed a minute later and as soon as he read the text his heart fluttered.

“Hi!! Its y/n! Im so excited for you to with me! Ill meet you outside your shop kay?!? ✨✨✨✨✨”

He smiled and replied back.

“Okay sweetie.”

***

Safe to say Kyo was on edge all day , thank god Iwazuimi was there to help customers whenever Kyo shut down and just had that angry look on his face. Oikawa was stuck on stock duty even though he finished a half hour ago . Kyo just gave him odd jobs till he had enough.

Oikawa went over to the register leaning down on it to see Kyo staring at his phone at the text , he shot Oikawa a look and he just had a smug look on his face.

“Is the summer line out …”

“Yep. Did that about two hours ago.”

“Well go fold something.”

“How about you tell me how this girl has you all messed up Mad Dog.”

Kyo looked up, putting his phone down standing up , he grabbed Oikawas shirt and the smug boy put his hands up grinning.

“Its okay to be nervous Mad Dog.”

“Im not...nervous.”

Iwazuimi looked over and hurried to his friends pulling Oikawa back. “Knock it off.” He told him.

“Iwa-chan tell him he cant see this girl if hes gonna get all angry and pouty.”

Iwazuimi leaned onto the register thinking it over, Oikawa was right , as much as he hated admitting it . “Kyo..shitty Kawa is right.”

Kyo turned to his friend and Oikawa walked away feeling accomplished.

“I know she was super happy and bubbly and you were all closed off in the beginning but you let her touch your ink. You have never let anyone touch your ink before. Your not who you were in highschool Kyotani, dont scare her off .”

He leaned on the register looking at the rings on his hands . “I really fucked myself with that attitude i had didint i, im lucky the Sendai Frogs even picked me up when they did.”

“Remember how annoying it was to hear those girls scream whenever Oikawa served the ball?”

“Mhm.”

“Its your chance to stick it too him , that girl paid no attention to him. And she looked really interested in you. Just calm down and breathe.”

Kyo looked over his shoulder to see Oikawa chatting up a punk girl who was not interested. Iwazuimi stretched while he watched. “This isn't his element anymore. Its yours Kyo.”

He rubbed his tattoo taking in a deep breath. “Damn right it is.”

••

8 o clock finally came and Kyo was still inside writing down the weekly income while Iwa and Kawa locked everything up. Business should pick up soon with his new summer line , he was looking forward to the extra money but not the longer shifts. Iwa and Kawa went over to the desk and Iwazuimi took the key from Kyos hand.

“Excuse you.” He said looking up.

“Your dates here.” Kawa said looking over his shoulder.

Kyo got up looking over Kawa to see you outside the door holding a pink shoulder bag . She really showed up..

“We will finish the records” Iwa told him

“Iwa will finish them” Kawa said

Iwazuimi grabbed his shirt preventing him from leaving. “We, will finish the records.”

“Ugnnn…”

“Lock up after.” Kyo grabbed his jacket putting it on , it was light blue with zippers all over it.

Kyo opened the door feeling his heart in his throat, he was nervous but he could do this. What was he so afraid of ?

You turned around hearing the bell and gave Kyo a big hug and a smile. “Hi Kyo!!!”

Oh fuck.

He lightly put his arm around you and you jumped back smiling . “Ready?”

“Y..yep. Yes. My guy does great work.” He said walking with you.

“Whats he like?!?” You asked walking with him happily.”

“Mmm well, hes nice . Likes to sit in his shop all day. Bit of a wise ass.” He looked down to see you looking at his sleeve again. You glanced up and jumped .

“Sorry!! “

“Dont be, i think you love it as much as i do .”

“Ive always liked wolves but everyone told me they were too scary for me to like.”

Kyo smirked walking closer . “Oh yeah? They aren't all bad.”

“I know!” You poked at his arm. “You are really cool so that just proves they arent all bad.”

It took him a minute to register what you said .”i'm flattered sweetie.”

“Tell me about you!”

“Mm..” Kyo rubbed his sleeve, giving everyone they passed the death glare. “I played volleyball in highschool, those guys at my shop played too on the team. I got picked up by the Sendai Frogs for a bit but after awhile i wanted something calmer”

You stopped walking and Kyo stopped looking back to see you with big eyes. “Whats.. wrong?”

“You did professional volleyball?!?”

“Yep. But i wanted to design things , and Oikawa and Iwazuimi came along with me. My tattoo guy was on our highschool team too.”

“Thats.. AMAZING.” You grabbed his arm following him going on and on asking about being a professional and what it was like.”

Kyo felt really nice inside, he even told you about his attitude in highschool and you just thought it was so silly . “What?!? But your so nice and calm now!”

Safe to say his heart grew after hearing that. He squeezed your hand and let go to open the door to the tattoo shop.

“Thank you sweetie, were here.”

•���

The tattoo shop had music blaring as soon as Kyo opened the door making you blink a few hundred times.

“Oi Mattsun!! where are you.” Kyo said, lightly pushing you inside so he could close the door. You found yourself clinging to Kyos arm looking all around trying to adjust to the music and this very bright room . It had art Everywhere. Posters, free hand, digital, tattoos, everything. You could not tell what color the walls were. In the center was the stations with a desk to the left when you walked in and a waiting area in the corner on the right.

“Oi!!!!”

“Shaddup! Your ruining the best part!!!”

You looked up at Kyo watching him yell with a huge smile on his face.

“OI!!!!”

“KYOTANI I SWEAR ILL FUCK YOU UP IF YOU DONT-... oh my”

The music cut off and a tall man appeared from the other side of the desk . He was covered in tattoos from neck to ankles. Very spiky black hair and a lip ring with ear piercings . He had on loose shorts and black Vans with his tattoo shops shirt on. He made his way around the desk looking you over then giving Kyo a look.

“Who's this?”

Before Kyo could speak you let go of his arm and jumped in front of him. “Im y/n! Id like a tattoo please!”

Mattsun folded his arms smirking and looked over you to Kyo who was half smirking half trying to figure out why the hell you did that.

“ shes with me Mattsun, “

“Alright alright.” He put his hands uo turning his music back on but at a more bearable level and brought you to his station with a sketchbook. You sat down fixing your dress and Kyo took your bag to hold it . Mattsun snapped a picture and Kyo grabbed his shirt.

“Dont.”

“Too late.! Cant wait for Oikawa to see”

“Fuck you Mattsun”

“Uhm..”

They both looked at you and Mattsun chuckled, swatting Kyos hand away and scooted closer to you in his wheely chair . “Okay Y/n , what would you like hmm?”

“Uhm.. a red panda!”

Mattsun looked at Kyo and then you then Kyo then the art on his walls then Kyo again.

“ what did you bring me.”

Kyo was leaning forward in his wheely chair moving back and forth looking very satisfied with this situation. “I mean if you cant do it ill go to 13 Tattoos down the street”

“Fuck you Kyotani you step one foot in that shop and im never inking you again”

You poked Kyos arm and he looked over at you .

“Uhm.. kyo.”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Youll hold my hand right i..”

Mattsun saw Kyo get flustered for a second and chuckled into his sketchbook while he drew a red panda. Good for you Mad Dog.

Kyo looked down at her hand, he was hesitating. He just needed to grab it. What was he doing? She likes you Mad Dog . His arm inched forward and you placed your hand in his , god the clash with his sleeve and your skin was the best thing hes ever seen. So innocent, fragile, excited. And he was loud, lashed out, swore, pushed buttons… god he loved it.

“Y/n hows this look?” He turned the sketchbook around and you looked along with Kyo.

It was in fact a red panda up on its back legs with its little paws in the air with a happy face and some hearts around it.

“Is SO CUTE !! Kyo kyo look!!!”

“I see it sweetie.” He couldn't help but laugh at the little panda and Mattsun. “Its cute, Mattsun”

“Of course!” He set the sketchbook down and got his gear ready. “Im happy you like it y/n, where would you like it?”

“Oh oh! My arm please the inside a little above my elbow ?”

He smiled scooting closer . “Okay, hold it out for me y/n”

You held out your arm and rubbed Kyos hand with your thumb, he jumped in his skin looking down at you but you were focused on Mattsun drawing the panda on you. He lightly rubbed back on your hand enjoying how soft your skin felt against his thumb.

Mattsun peeled the paper away and picked up his tool, turning it on. “Ready?”

“Yes!..”

“Hold still for me y/n” he leaned forward and started on the outline on your skin.

It hurt, oh it hurt.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You can do this y/n

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Still got my art on the wall huh?”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Why wouldn't i? Hows Kawa and Iwa?”

Zzzzz…..

“Same as always. You should see Oikawa strike out at work Mattsun”

Zzzzzzzz…. it was getting hard to keep a straight face..

“That sounds hilarious is he still complaining over the skinny jeans?”

Zzzzz...z.z.z..zzzzz

“God yeah.”

“Ky..kyo..”

he looked up from the tattoo to see you on the verge of tears, you kept looking down and trying to fidget but Mattsun had a firm grip on you. “Stay still for me y/n okay? Don't move”He glanced at Kyo and leaned back to change ink colors then started on coloring.

“Kyo..-“

He reached up with his free hand to cup your cheek and turn your head so you could see him. “Look at me.”

“K..”

“ sshh.. just focus on me okay? Tell me why you like red pandas .”

“ they.. are fuzzy.. i love fuzzy stuff.. and they are troublemakers getting into.. all sorts of things..”

He lightly ran his thumb under your eye getting rid of a tear .

“Dont..dont let go of my hand..”

“I wont Sweetie. What else do you like about them “

“Doing great Y/n, almost done”

“Uhm.. they.. i love red. Its my favorite color. And they like to flop around and tackle each other.. I heard a zoo nearby has them but.. i dont know where.``

“Miyagi zoo, would you like to go sweetie?”

“Y-yes i..” your eyes wandered away from Kyo and he brought you back to him gently.

“Ssh , look at me. Just me remember?”

“Just.. you.”

“Yes sweetie. Youre doing so good.”

“Done.” He wiped the panda a few times and scooted back taking a picture with his phone. “My apprentice is gonna have a stroke. Okay y/n if you wanna go look my mirror is right over by the wall”

Kyo helped you up and wiped under both of your eyes with his thumbs and you smiled up at him holding yourself. “I..i did it..” you choked out a giggle.

“Yes you did. Go take a look .” Kyo told you and let you go. He watched you make your way to the mirror and Mattsun yanked him over to his desk getting behind it to record the order in the laptop. They were quiet for a second .

Mattsun looked up at Kyo, he was leaning on the desk with his arms up on it.

“How the fuck did you meet her”

“She came into my store, Mattsun. Do you see her?”

“Did she buy ANYTHING?”

“She bought the plaid red skirt and the kitten guitar shirt”

“What the fuck Kyotani.”

“Ask Iwa and Oikawa, they could not keep it together.”

Mattsun took his phone out texting Oikawa.

“I let her touch my sleeve, Mattsun”

His friend dropped his phone looking up at this hard and angry punk guy staring at him.

“She told me she thought it was pretty and I let her touch it, every wolf.”

“I did the ink and i can't even touch it”

“Shes just.. i don't even know Mattsun. Shes different.”

“From your usual? Uh yeah i'd say so.”

“ i wanna hold onto her, but i dont know how, im scared ill.. scare her off.”

“Dont be gettin all sentimental on me Mad Dog, if she didint run off from my music, your swearing or your store shes not gonna run off now, she was going to have a panic attack in my damn chair if you didint calm her down.”

“Shut up, im not sentimental.. she was gonna .. cry.”

“God..”

“Fuck you, how much is the tattoo”

“$40 because im feeling nice and its about time you had a girl interested in you”

Kyo took his wallet out and put the money on the desk, “keep the change”

“Oh what a baller.” He teased taking the money and coming around to shove his friend. “Good to see you, lets all get together soon for some beach volleyball “

“Yeah yeah, and fine. But you call everyone , “

“Killjoy.”

You skipped over hugging Kyos sleeve and showing him your panda and thanking Mattsun over and over.

“Of course y/n , happy you like it.” He pat your head.

••

Kyo said his goodbyes and was walking down the street with you , it was 9 at night now and he did not want to leave yet.. you were still hugging his sleeve not talking much .

“Hey..”

“Yes kyo?”

“You told me your name and i've still been calling you sweetie, why haven't you said anything? “

You let go of his arm skipping in front of him smiling. “Well, i like it. Its cute to hear you say it..”

He smirked, rubbing his head trying not to look at you. “Will you laugh if i say i don't want to leave yet.”

You shyly took his hand holding it. “No, I wont. I uhm.. i have class in the morning but.. do you want to spend the night? N-not for uh .. uhm.. i mean.. i.. uh.”

Kyo laughed pulling his hand back bringing you with it, he wrapped his other arm around you. “That sounds nice sweetie, id love too.”

“Yay!! Youll get to meet Mocha!!!”

“Mocha?”

“My kitten!!!”

He sighed down at you giving you a hug and you squeezed him. “Thank you.. for calming me down …”

“Of course. You did great sweetie.”

You giggled, swaying a bit. “Ahh easy my arm kinda hurts heh..”

“Oh right, it will be tender for a week or so.” He held you close keepin an eye on your arm. “You did great , you really did.”

You nuzzled into his chest feeling full of bliss . “Thank you Kyo.”

••

@zoppzoop

@nekxrizawa, @kyovtani thought you would enjoy this !

[rrickgrrimes8]

Normality is Death

Chapter Thirteen ~ Philippians 1:29

masterlist

"C'mon baby lets go back to our room," Lori said to Jacey, Carl already holding her hand. Jacey nodded following a part of her family down the halls. 

"What's happening, mom?" Carl asked as he watched Lori go to the air vent feeling no air come out, "Mom? Something wrong?" 

Jacey watched her apprehensive mother, "Uh, nothing. It's just... just the air conditioning stopped." 

Lights went out soon after that too which agitated Lori more as did the disappearance of her husband. Sitting at the foot of her parents' bed, she watched as she left the room to talk to Doctor Jenner as he passed quickly. "What's wrong, Jacey?" She heard Addie call to her. 

"Please leave me alone," her hands found their ways to her ears once again seeking to block out any noise. 

"Jacey? You're scaring me... what's wrong?" Addie called to her again, causing her to look up only to see her younger brother worried, "What's wrong, Jacey?" 

"Uh... nothing, squirt. I'm fine," She stuttered, paralyzed by her shock, "Where's mom?" 

"Went after that Doctor. Sent me back to get you," Carl smiled, still perturbed, "You coming?" 

"Yep, Let's go, squirt."

The two younger Grimes' entered the hysterical room, passing their frightful mother on the way out, "Mom what's happening?" Lori didn't respond though, as she continued to run down the corridor and back to the room. Jacey caught wind of Jenner's words about how the French were the last ones to hold out. Well, that was until the fuel ran out. It sunk in deep with the child, there was no cure and there never will be - everything is gone.

Jacey, grabbing the hand of her brother, ran into the room eyeing the now sealed doors. "No. Did you just lock us in?" Glenn panicked, "He just locked us in!" Carl held her hand tighter, the loud noises and consternation becoming at once too much for him. Jacey saw Edwin take a seat at his desk and begin to talk to a camera. 

Bold lettering violated her eyes as the screen switched to black with the red-lettered words of '30 minutes to decontamination'. "Carl! Jacey!" she heard her mom bellow, quickly finding them. Dropping her bags, she wrapped her arms around the two children, kissing both of their heads. 

Daryl endeavoured over to the man in a fit of rage, yelling at him something Jacey couldn't quite catch but was quickly stopped by Shane. She watched as her father pleaded with the stubborn man to open the door, to which he refused. "What happens in 28 minutes?" Rick yelled to the man after he had ignored him the first time. 

"Come on!" Daryl encouraged threatening him with a glass bottle. 

"You know what this place is?!" He snapped, "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" Jenner stops to breathe slowly, "In the event of a catastrophic power failure - in a terrorist attack, for example - H.I.T are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." 

"H.I.T's?" Rick asked. 

"VI, define," he ordered. 

"H.I.T's - high impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist," VI continued but Jacey just blocked it out. They were going to die. They were all going to die. Rick walks over to his family joining in on their hug, mortified by the news. Jacey, however, felt okay, fine really. It didn't bother her that she was about to die - her death never seemed to scare her. What did bother her though was that her family would die too. Carl was too young to die she thought to herself. 

"It sets the air on fire. No pain," Jenner told them after VI had finished, "an end to sorrow, grief... regret. Everything." Jacey smiled through her tears, she was almost looking forward to it as dark as that sounded but she just wanted some peace, a rest. She watched as many grew angry - and in Daryl's case - violent with the doctor. 

Shane and T-dog stayed by the door throwing any and everything they had at it, but none of it making a dent. "You should've left well enough alone... it would have been so much easier," Jenner lent back in his chair, unbothered by the chaos he had created. 

"Easier for who?" Lori spat, clearly angry with the man's decision yet still a great amount of sadness in her words, knowing her children were about to die when they're lives really had just begun. 

"All of you. You know what's out there. A short brutal life and agonizing death," Jacey understood this and observed as he looked to her, "The people you lost, what was their names?" 

"Mitch and Addie," she replied not entirely sure on how he knew, while Rick looked to the man threateningly not wanting her daughter to have any part in his manipulation. 

"And you? Your sister?" he asked now to Andrea, the following was a quiet 'Amy'. "Addie, Mitch and Amy," He looked between Andrea and the girl, "You know what this does. You've seen it. Is that what you really want for your wife, daughter and son?" 

Now looking at Rick. "I don't want this," He almost cried emphatically. 

"Can't make a dent," Shane shouted to Rick, alarmed. 

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner said almost comedically. 

"Well, your head ain't!" Daryl screamed, making his way over to the doctor, axe ready. Dale, Rick and Shane come together once more to hold Daryl and his clear anger issues back, "Daryl! Daryl!" 

T-dog soon wrestled the weapon off of him as Jenner continued to Rick, "You do want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead." Lori's face drops at his words, while Jacey detaches herself from her mother and brother, planting herself on one of the many identical tables. 

"What? You really said that? After all your big talk?" Shane expectorated, almost betrayed at the doctor's words. 

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" He justified to Lori. 

"There is no hope. There never was." 

"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here but somebody somewhere-" 

"What part of 'everything is gone' do you not understand?" the younger girl interrupted her father, earning an approving nod from Andrea but a pained look from her family. 

"Listen to your daughter," Jenner advised, "She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event." 

"This isn't right. You can't keep us here," Carol cried, "my daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." 

"Wouldnt it be kinder, more compassionate just to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run out?" Carol still cries as she holds her daughter, but Jacqui nods her head slightly. 

Much like what happened with Daryl, Shane came to the doctor pointing a shotgun right at his face, but this time Rick intervened, "Out of the way, Rick! Stay out of my way! Open that door, or I'm going to blow your head off. Do you hear me?" Jenner remained emotionless as the officer continued to aim for his head. 

"Brother, brother, this is not the way you do this. We will never get out of here, " Rick reminded him. Instead, in a fit of anger, Shane begins to shoot at the computer screens randomly, everyone cowering away from the shots. "We all die, Shane!" he reminded before struggling to get the gun away from him, "Are you done now? Are you done?" 

"Yeah, I guess we all are," Shane disputed. 

"I think you're lying," Rick said to Edwin, "You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path, why?" 

"It doesn't matter," Jenner sheepishly said. 

"It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?" 

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise," he proceeded to point towards the screen, "To her. My wife." 

"Test subject 19 was your wife?" Lori questioned sympathetically.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?" Jenner paused, looking to Daryl, who continued to use his axe against the door no matter how useless it was, "She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here. In our field, she was Einstein. Me? I'm just... Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me." Jacey sighed, feeling the pain of his loss substantially. 

Rick pleaded once more, "Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's... that's all we want a choice... a chance." 

"You let us keep trying as long as we can," Lori added. 

Jenner moves over to the desk picking up what looked like a security pad and said, "I told topside's locked down. I can't open those." 

Seconds later, the doors open and everyone begins to rush out of them, "There's your chance. Take it" 

"I'm grateful," Rick smiled, lifting his hand for him to shake. 

"The day will come when you won't be," Jenner said before shaking Rick's hand and whispering something in his ear. 

"You can't go, you know that, right?" Addie says, her voice kinder now, which Jacey was more grateful for. 

"I know. I want to be with you again," Jacey looked to the girl reluctantly, hoping that the walker won't appear again. 

Addie's face - her normal one - came into view, blooming a big smile on the younger girls face, "And you will, love. I'm never going to leave you again, I promise." 

"I love you, Addie." 

"I lov-" Addie's voice was interrupted by a male one "Jacey, c'mon, angel, grab your things. Let's go." 

Jacey shook her head at the man she realised to be her father, "I-I'm not coming." Rick stopped, hoping his ears were deceiving him but then looked at her tear-covered face and realised. 

"No, you're not, baby. Let's go," Lori shouted from behind Rick. 

"Lori just go. Get the others out of here," he ordered his wife, "We're right behind you." The rest of the group stampeded out of the room, Lori and Carl lingering for a short minute, hoping Rick will be able to convince her to join them. 

"Tell him you're sorry, Jace," Addie whispered, holding her hand. 

"I'm sorry but I-I can't." 

"Yes you can, Jacey, please. You're not thinking straight," Rick prayed that she'd see reason and join them, but his heart stopped when she shook her head. 

"I can't anymore, dad. I'm so tired." Jacey looked around the room, seeing that not only Jenner was still here but so was Jacqui and Andrea. 

An arm snaked over her shoulder, squeezing it gently, an arm, belonging to Mitchell, "Tell him to leave, babydoll, and then you'll be with us forever."

 She smiled at his words and then returned her eyes to her father's blue ones, "You have to leave. I want to stay with them." 

"I'm not leaving you here, angel," He cried, tightly holding the sides of her face. 

"Addie was only 16, dad, Mitch was 25. We had children in our camp. I-I should've died with them. I don't deserve to live when they had to die." 

"Listen to me, Jace, you survived for a reason, okay? You don't have to agree with me, but whoever is up there, whatever is in charge made it so you weren't there. So you wouldn't die. They wouldn't want you to die here and now. Your story is not over yet. I won't allow it," Rick wailed, heavier than earlier as he watched his daughter looked to her left and right as if looking at people that weren't there, "Your death isn't going to bring them back." 

"I can't leave them, daddy," She paused, "I already hurt them enough." 

"Who are you talking about, angel?" his voice breaking slightly. 

"Addie and Mitchell," Jacey told him as if it was obvious, "I can't leave them alone again." 

"Addie and Mitchell are dead, baby. They're not here anymore," the man pleaded with his deluded daughter. 

"No," she argued, squeezing her eyes shut, "shut up. You're lying, they're here with me now, they want me to stay. She promised me she wouldn't leave again," Jacey cried, looking at Addie and Mitchell, slowly seeing them morph into their walker forms, "Oh god. No, not again, please, not again. They're going to hurt me, daddy. They're going to hurt me like I hurt them." 

"Hey baby, look at me, only me, okay?" he stopped her from looking to where he assumed she saw them, "No one's gonna hurt you. Addie and Mitchell are gone. They can't hurt you, alright? Now we've got to go, angel, before it's too late." Jacey wanted to nod, to go with him, but the grip that Addie and Mitchell had on her tightened, making her let out a small cry. 

At once, they both turned into their undead self's clawing at her skin instead of holding it, "You can't leave, Jacey. Not when you did this to us." 

"No! Shut up! Leave me alone! I want to live! I don't want to die!" Rick watched the girl breakdown her hands beginning to claw away at any visible skin. The man grabbed her hands, stopping the movement before looking over to the timer seeing it hit the 5-minute mark. 

"I'm sorry, Jacey. I'm so sorry baby," Jacey heard him cry before feeling him move away from her. 

"Jacey, look at me, sweetheart," A kind, shaky voice begged of her. Jacey turned to meet their eyes, seeing a crying Jacqui, "You gotta go, darling, please."

"I can't, Jacqui. I can't keep going on like this," She paused, "I'm not strong enough."

"Yes you are, child. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, don't ever trick yourself into thinking you're not," Jacqui apprised the younger girl.

"I'm not as strong as you think, Jacqui. Nowhere even close."

"That's where your wrong, sweetheart. You've got a lot of heart and if do say so myself a lot of balls," She smiled at her, "You're gonna survive this world, I'm sure of it." Jacqui stops speaking as she looked at the girl, aware of the mental state, "Look, sweetie, I'm not gonna force you outta that door, as much as I'd like too. I don't want you to die today, Jacey, but it seems like it's going that way so let me tell you something, okay?" Jacey nodded, "And you gotta promise me the moment you understand it you'll leave, you'll survive," she nodded once more, "Philippians 1:29; For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him but also to suffer for his sake." Jacey stayed silent not quite comprehending the meaning of the passage. 

"I don't understand, I don't get it, Jacqui," She cried into her palms.

"That's okay, sweetie, just breathe..." Jacqui refrained, "It means your pain has a purpose, whatever that purpose may be." 

"Do you understand now?" 

Jacey shook her head sadly, "That's okay, take your rest. I will see you once more in another life." Jacey watched as the older woman rejoined Jenner at his computer and observed as she wished that their conversation had gone another way and in some way Jenner also did.

"You have to stay Jace. You said you understood that. Everything will be better if you do," Addie warned, "If you go you will kill every single one of them out there. Do you want that? Do you want them dead? Your dad? Your mom? Carl?" Jacey shook her head manically, her mind flashing unforgiving images of their bodies eaten and unmoving, "So stay with me, my love. Stay, and I'll love you forever." 

Jacey nodded at her before muttering, "I'll love you forever too," causing Addie to smile. Jacey began to move closer to the dark-skinned girl, her face returning back to her natural one. 

"I wanna kiss you, Jace," Addie parted her lips inching towards Jace's. 

"Me too," She replied, shyness shrouding her confidence. 

But before their lips could touch, the masculine voice returned, "I'm sorry, Jacey," following a sharp twinge in her neck. Immediately, she felt a rush of dizziness hit her, Addie and Mitchell disappearing shortly afterwards, "no." She fell off her chair and into a pair of muscular arms, "I'm sorry, angel." 

"Addie," she cried before the darkness took over her.