#sisko ball

[starfleetshrimps]

sisko ball

honorable mention to this thing that happened while i was making this:

[the-number-thirty-eight]

Sisko at the Disco 2.0

Now in gif form

Sisko at the Disco

[mistylacrimosa]

I know jack shit about baseball but this the best filler episode on all tv and i can prove it:

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Need I say more? I don't think so

[meatmensch]

interesting point! what do you think about - wait you, you said your favorite captain is picard? oh nevermind man i don't care about your opinion

[duskentropy]

jadzia has definitely photoshopped a picture of sisko, replaced his head with a baseball and sent it to the senior officer group chat

[blunderpuff]

Sisko's baseball is not his Orb; the Orbs are the Prophets' baseballs

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Jim Kirk would beat up William Shatner in a 7-11 parking lot

Jean-Luc Picard and Patrick Stewart would write non-fiction bestsellers together

Benjamin Sisko would have Avery Brooks over for dinner, cook him the best meal of his life, and they'd talk animatedly about racial justice until 2am and then say "so, same time next year?"

Kate Mulgrew and Kathryn Janeway would go on a coast-to-coast road trip and take a selfie kissing in front of the world's largest ball of yarn

[tboyautism]

dukat: ah! captian sisko. it seems like you have seized cardassia by the balls once again. if only we were on the same side. cardassia cluld use a man like you

sisko: ah but dukat, cardassia has no balls, on the fact that the federation removed them. you are out numbered out played and outballed. and the question is. what now?

julian in the back of ops (he isnt supposed to be there):

[briscal]

ds9 a plot sisko and worf are forced to weigh the life of a pow over their own

ds9 b plot O'Brien is turned in to a pig human hybrid and forced to dance on a small ball for the entertainment of a godlike alien

[andyoullhearitagain]

Ok come on a journey with me.

So in "Take Me Out To The Holosuite" they all sign this baseball for Sisko, right? And clearly they had all the actors sign the ball for the character (cute) because frankly no prop department would miss the opportunity to use their alien scripts. I'll buy that Worf usually writes his name in Klingon but was like "oh everyone signed in Standard I guess I'll sign in Standard." But even if Quark can write his name in Standard (for business purposes, sure, I'll buy that) I just don't see him drawing the little ears on the Q! Quark isn't afraid of a little whimsy but I think he's just too toxicly masculine to draw a little picture in his signature. And we've seen Ferengi writing and have even seen Quark's name:

(I would have liked it a lot better if the baseball had the alien names in the alien alphabets but w/e)

So either

a. Quark is like, pfft, these aren't real letters, might as well draw a little picture (maybe?)

or

b. Someone who speaks Standard wrote it for him and drew the little ears. But who? Jake? Something to consider.

[marxistgnome]

Heres a few from star treks baseball episode - ds9 take me out to the holosuite

Generally I feel nothing and know nothing of contemporary baseball. However, nothing can compete with the bliss of seeing a fictional character in one of those funny, archaic-looking uniforms. Truly a strange and wonderful cultural object. "Baseball episode" is the best episode trope there is.

Feel free to add your own favorite examples of this. I love to see funny baseball.

[overseer-picard]

As a real life horse girl, I present:

Starfleet Captains as Different Kinds of Horse Girls

The actual canonical horse girls:

Kirk: The Show Off. Kirk is genuinely a great rider with soft hands and a good seat, but due to this high skill level and his natural disposition, he can be overconfident and do dumb things that result in injury and/or (according to McCoy) death. He loves a flashy horse with high chrome (white markings) to match his own dashing looks.

Picard: The Spiritual. Picard seeks connection with his horse, who he sees as an equal, and hones his skill-set as a rider to maximize this communication. Riding is a relaxing, emotionally cleansing activity for him that centers his mind. He has this quote stamped into his saddle: "When you first meet a horse, his instinct tells him you are a predator. Gain his trust, and you become his protector."

Pike: The Cowboy. Pike's horse is his companion and he rides to reconnect with the past when times were simpler. Not picky with breeds or looks, he’s content with his fuzzy Quarter Horse. He relishes the freedom of open skies and endless plains, the solid earth beneath him keeping him grounded.

NOT canonical horse girls (but could be if they just believed):

Janeway: The Competitor. Dressage, cross country, show jumping, she does them all. Hair slicked back, jodhpurs tight, boots polished, Janeway enters the ring to win. And she does. She chooses horses that have the same fire and intensity that she does and together they are an unbeatable team.

Sisko: The Polo Player. Ball is life, even on a horse. Sisko's team of competitive polo ponies are trained to a tee. He relishes the intensity of the game, the teamwork, and the difficulty of the hand-eye coordination. Winning isn't as important as the thrill of not dying.

Archer: The horseless. Archer is the kid you knew in middle school who was obsessed with horses and knew everything about them but never had one. Instead, he settled with pretending his dog was a horse. I cannot emphasize enough how much this man oozes naive horse girl energy.

Freeman: The Rehabilitator. Freeman rode competitively when she was younger but now has found a great sense of purpose in seeking out the broken and forgotten horses. She focuses on the "dangerous and un-fixable" off-the-track thoroughbreds and rehabilitates them to become their best selves.

*I do not know enough about the various Disco captains to have thoughts on them but Saru has actual horse energy.

[cheesydelphox]

ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS

I've come to make an announcement. Benjamin Sisko is a bitchass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking space station. That's right, he took his Starfleet fucking bald dick out, and he pissed on my fucking space station, and he said his dick was t h i s b i g. And I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Empok Nor security system. Benjamin Sisko, you got a small dick. It's the size of this starship except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby, all scales, no pips, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bottle of kanar. He fucked my space station, so guess what? I'm gonna fuck Bajor, that's right, this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on Bajor, I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the WORMHOLE. How do you like that, Kai Opaka? I pissed on the wormhole, you idiot! You have twenty-six hours before the piss drrroppllets hit fucking Bajor, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too.

[stra-tek]

Facts about Captain Robau

This was a long-running thread on TrekBBS in 2008-2009, a riff on the "Facts about Chuck Norris" meme. And it had some gems (thanks to all TrekBBS members who participated):

The Kelvin's shields aren't for keeping weapons out... they're for keeping Robau in.

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Captain Robau.

Spock is constantly shouting in "The Cage" because he can't hear his own voice over the sound of how awesome Captain Robau is.

Sisko and Picard are arent really bald. They just want to be like Captain Robau

The Kelvin doesn't need two warp nacelles to create a symmetrical warp field. Captain Robau simply wills it to happen.

That God head thing in Star Trek V wasn't exiled to the center of the galaxy he went to hide from Captain Robau

That Borg didn't open a gateway to fluidic space to assimilate species 8472 they did to get away from Captain Robau

Captain Robau doesn't sleep. He waits.

Captain Robau doesn't use the transporter. He just leaps down to the surface.

The new Enterprise is being built on the ground because Captain Robau plans to lift it into orbit

Captain Robau can kill two stones with one bird.

When Capt. Robau was born, the only one in the room crying was the Doctor. Never slap Capt. Robau.

Captain Robau does simply walk into Mordor.

Captain Robau doesn't do pushups. He pushed the planet down and then pulls it back up.

In space, Captain Robau can hear you scream.

Captain Robau is hung like a Horsehead Nebula.

Captain Robau once used a crowbar to destroy Ceti Alpha VI. That crowbar later found its way to Black Mesa.

Captain Robau is immune to entropy.

When Captain Robau makes love, he causes a quantum singularity.

Captain Robau's bald scalp is considered an aphrodisiac in...oh, what's that place called? OH. Right.

The universe.

Zod kneels before Robau.

Captain Robau got drunk one night and relieved himself out in the desert. The spot in the desert is now known as the Grand Canyon.

Captain Robau CAN beam through raised shields.

A supernova didn't destroy Romulus, Robau did!

Robau doesn't wear sun screen. The Sun wears Robau screen.

The Great Bird of the Galaxy is the name given to Captain Robau's cock.

Captain Robau was deeply surprised that in VOY: “Threshold” everyone who went at warp 10 didn’t evolve into him. Then he realised, even at their most evolved potential, the Voyager crew are no match for Captain Robau.

Captain Robau never went to Starfleet Academy. He just showed up one day and flew the Kelvin out of spacedock. No one had the balls to question him.

Captain Robau decided to take up pottery one day. He named the result The Guardian of Forever.

Captain Robau told Pluto to fuck off and stop being a planet. It did.

Q used to have a proper name but Captain Robau slapped him so hard he forgot it.

The great barrier exists to protect the other galaxies from Captain Robau.

Stardate 0000.1 was the moment Captain Robau was born.

Sha Ka Ree is Vulcan for Captain Robau.

What does Captain Robau use for a condom?

SPACEDOCK.

[mayhemthemamp]

The Boimler Boogie is good, but can I offer The Boimler Butt Wiggle?

It's Sisko Wiggle Wednesday

[dabuerre]

holy fuck the balls on sisko are massive.

"all i care about is jadzia"

"and i promise you, if she dies, i'll see to it that the whole planet knows why.

COOOOOOLD