#sins of the flesh is such a good update i'm living

[b0nelessdoodles]

tfw you're three deep in anchordeep and you get the notif that you're baby has been neglected so you turn into a speedrunner to get home

[cult-bull]

Crowns of Sins Thoughts

What's up with the red crown and sin? Why does it promote it? Does it eat it? Does it need its host to grow stronger? (Most certainly making a Crowns and Hosts thoughts posts later too)

Obviously, the sins of the flesh update came later on in the game's development and in interviews I remember the creators talking about coming up with ideas and letting their writers figure out how it fits into the lore afterwards, so who knows how much is intended from the start and how much just came later.

The red crown being able to talk seems to have been there from the start, since it has speech coming from it so to say during doctrine choosing, at least it feels implied now that we know it can speak.

How sins work seems quite separate from the bishops and their crowns… until you try to think about it. Kind of. Maybe it's retroactively fitting pieces into where they could belong but hey, this is my blog and my journal of random cult of the lamb thoughts not proper theory crafting XD

I don't think it works though when just limiting yourself to the Christian seven deadly sins.

Leshy I'm throwing out the window instantly. I'm not sure what sin his chaotic ass could represent, as I'm saving wrath for someone else and even then, Leshy doesn't really seem... wrathful. Angry, loud, first boss energy, but not wrathful. He is the youngest god though, so maybe he just didn't have the time to be that sinful.

The only sin he is so far guilty of is being a weirdly cute follower

Heket is almost too easy in comparison. Gluttony, and even greed in terms of hoarding food from others by causing famines and giving their followers food if they worship well, and possibly because Mida's cave is near it, being pretty close to it on Jalala's map right between it and darkwood

It would be a bit easier to tell if we got more proper lines of where each "territory" of a bishop ends and begins. How large something actually stretches is questionable

Anyway, Heket would certainly fit right into a user of a ritual like the cannibalism one (and regain all her devotion through the mushroom drugs) so it just fits right in there.

Kallamar is where my "seven deadly sin" thing not working comes up. He is not guilty of any classic sin, nor does he promote it. I know we all in the fandom like to make him lustful, partially due to that one bishop hotline video I'm sure, but I'm not sure if anything else points him into a lust category in game though, If yes, feel free to correct me.

However

I do say betrayal and selfishness could count as sinful. He is a scaredy-cat (a powerful scaredy-cat but still), but he rather throws his siblings, especially a broken Shamura under the bus of your vengeful wrath when you come to get him post killing Leshy and Heket, just to somehow live. He's a coward, a backstabber, no matter if he feels bad about it afterwards or not. That feels ripe for a sin.

Shamura is weird too, not because nothing fits, but more because it's speculating about their past self. Their broken mind self is... well, broken. Love them, but clearly something changed about them.

Through the lore tablets in game we learn a young Shamura was the one who asked/threatened the older gods to bow to their old-back-then-new faith and began a war against the many gods with at least I presume, the other bishops.

Shamura is a god of war, of conquest, and probably even wrath back then too. Once again, it feels ripe for sin to have someone who seeks the blood spilled in the battlefield. Again though, that's speculations about a past Shamura.

Narinder is a bit easier again, since one can likely assume pride to be a good sin for him. Prideful as he tried to rise, he fell, and retained his high and mighty pride when thinking the lamb couldn't possibly ever stand up to them until being forcefully shown that fact of life.

And fall he did, like he usually does.

With all the bishops having "access" to a main sin source though (except leshy), they could have easily had a way to make their cults, their temples and more, stronger. In the game, we only upgrade the temple visually, but since a god grows stronger with worship, likely do their crowns as well, and it just helps feed that.

Likely a way of how the new gods Shamura and co rose up to power that much could be through this, though i have other thoughts for later dates too on that (and if Narinder was around back then, having the literal death god as your sibling probably helped in a war too-)

The crowns and their relationship to the gods of new and old need more exploring in general, I feel like. Not just from the game, but like, I want to see other people throw their totally-not-a-crown hat into the ring. Where they came from, how they work, etc.

Ramble times over, did this make sense? Probably not. But I like my randoms to an audience of mostly myself👍

[missacidburn928]

LUNATIC Update!

Hello Heathens! I'm finally feeling inspired enough to get back to writing LUNATIC. It's one of my personal favorites but I have to be in a certain headspace to write it. So while I flesh out these next chapters, I felt like I would at least share there summaries.

Now LUNATIC is VERY NSFW so if your under 18 get the fuck out right now. There be adult themes and words after the cut...

Chapter 5:

You and Nat sparing, which quickly turns into fucking. Sweaty dirty girl on girl that gets alerted to Tony by Jarvis. He then calls all the boys down to watch the action live.

Chapter 6:

Steve and Bucky find you seeking vengeance. Well hunting your prey really and you allow them to join in on the festivities. You retreat to Tartarus afterwards and have a bloody, sexy, messy good time. You find out that Steve is unsurprisingly a freaky little perv.

Chapter 7:

Clint drops in on you during the day at Sins. You're teaching an aerial hoop and fabrics class to the members of your staff that want to add it to their repertoire. He joins in and shows off some of his own tricks. You dismiss the class and play with Clint. Sex in the air is fun!

[skzms]

Darling May, it's 🐝

I have once again disappeared for weeks only to resurface brimming over with love. A brief life update before we get to the long-awaited SIC review!

My new job is good! The work is just busy and interesting enough to keep me focused without being overwhelming; and my coworkers are really great ���� Since I haven't been working there long, I'm taking my 'summer' holiday late; I did a solo trip to Rome in '22, and this time I might do Berlin!

Writing is going well, but boy, does having a full-time job get in the way of staying up writing 'til 4 a.m. I know better than to make promises for when it will be done, but I do promise this: I'm having more fun writing than I've had in ages.

ALSO, if there was any doubt that I'm a gross perv, I just saw a photo of Minho where it looks like he has armpit hair, and I lost my ever-loving mind with LUST and SINFUL THOUGHTS.

Also ALSO - MINSUNG LIVING TOGETHER? HYUNNIE AND BINNIE LIVING TOGETHER?! Oh we are all blessed like Jisung's jiddies..

Now, without further ado, let's get SIC.

x-x-x

Hyunjin rolls his eyes again but doesn’t fight him, only slightly leans into Jisung next to him, giving him a smile and knocking his shoulder against his. When he spots Felix walking up to them, his face lights up, and he pats the spot on the floor next to him. Felix smiles at him and sits down, drapes his legs over Hyunjin’s lap readily. Oooh, the casual intimacy, delicious 💋

When he looks down at you, his lips tug into a tender smile, one of his hands coming to your back, lightly running his palm up and down your spine. You hum and lean into his touch, and he presses a kiss to your temple. And this casual intimacy! I love Jeongin probably realizing that all his members took much more advantage of the throuple's proposition than he did ^^ Sure, he didn't want get with Jisung and Minho at the time, but FOMO is one hell of a drug 

I'm sure I've said this before, but I love the way you write Jeongin; he's horny, sarcastic, and a little mean (I love), and yet he acts so scandalized whenever his hyungs say something out of pocket 😂 It's admirable how you've picked up on so many nuances and used them to flesh out the characters to great effect - and that goes for all the members, not just Jeongin.

“Dare,” he says with a brilliant grin, without even waiting for Changbin to ask him. Changbin gnaws on his bottom lip, but then shakes his head and murmurs a quiet fuck it. “Kiss the most attractive person in the room,” Changbin announces..] Brilliant: Hyunjin serves himself up on a silver platter, and yet Changbin still gives him an out. A true gentleman, honestly.

“Do you want me to stop?” Hyunjin breathes out quietly..] [Jeongin blinks at him a few times, and then he almost imperceptibly shakes his head. ] [.. Hyunjin’s tongue slips into his mouth, and Jeongin whimpers, so quietly everyone else can barely hear it, and his hands skate up to cup Hyunjin’s face, pulling him deeper. I am going to combust, that was so --! Jeongin WHIMPERING? Take me to horny jail, I plead guilty on all counts 😵

Hyunjin purses his lips thoughtfully, then nods and wordlessly extends a high five to him. Seungmin stares at his hand, dumbfounded. “Come on, Minnie,” Hyunjin whines, wiggling his hand in the air, “don’t leave me hanging. We’re a blessing to anyone who wants to fuck us, we should be proud.” Seungmin groans, rubbing his hands over his eyes before he finally smacks his hand against Hyunjin’s, who rewards him a satisfied grin. This made me laugh, because Seungmin totally would be like, "I'm not high fiving that", but he also just does not seem like a high fiving guy to me in general 😂

The smirk on Minho’s face tells you he’s up to no good, “I’d like to enforce the Jeongin rule. Collective dare. Everyone who has kissed, has to kiss again."] [“Everyone?” Changbin asks, a smug look on his face. Minho whips over to Changbin and blinks twice. “Sure,” he says carelessly, but you can feel his nails slide over the skin of your back, can see the tick of the muscles of his jaw. Oooh my god, oh my god..

Because Hyunjin’s eyes are locked onto Minho’s as he crawls towards him. He doesn’t stop until his lips are hovering over Minho’s. His heartbeat is in his throat. “This one’s … more of a promise,” Oh FUCK

[..Jeongin scoots over to you, shoots a nervous look at Seungmin before his expression turns determined. INTERESTING.

[..no matter how much you wanted Changbin, there’s no way you’re doing anything without their consent. Jisung looks at Minho, waits, an excruciating moment before Minho nods, imperceptibly. May, I feel like I'm on fire 😵 The TENSION

[..tilting your head to kiss him deeper and you can feel him get hard underneath you, his palms pressing you impossibly closer against his hot, muscular body. ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Of course Felix ups the ante, that little shit-stirrer; of course Jeongin not-so-secretly loves it; of course Jisung loses his mind and basically tackles reader onto the floor!

The room is dead silent, everyone’s eyes on Felix as he calmly makes his way over to … Minho huffs out a disbelieving laugh. He knew it. Chan looks pale..] Aaaaahhh, YES BITCH, that's that Chanlix angst! Chan so nervous? Felix not smiling? Hyunjin silently comforting him, like he knows more than we do?? CHILLS.

Minho is just about to answer when he hears it, Jisung’s barely contained whimper and the choked, heady moan that follows, and his brain short-circuits. “Did Jisung just …” Jeongin rasps out, his face a grimace of stunned disbelief. Oh he would, wouldn't he, that dirty little perv, I love him so much..

7 Minutes in Heaven with Minho was so absurdly hot, I can't 😵😵😵 But the quick clean-up, pulling clothes into place, brushing her hair?! The softest! I love the juxtaposition of them fucking nasty in the bathroom and Minho's pure, unquestionable love and devotion 🥺

PHEW, what a fucking chapter! What a chapter of fucking! If there's two things I don't have it's chill and patience, so of course what I wanted was a full-on orgy; but somehow this was way better - and that's why you're the master of the craft! Rather than wish-fulfillment (my wish at least), you once again wrote a chapter packed with tiny, earned moments; showing what these people mean to each other; hinting at things we don't know (Right? Am I dumb?) about Chan and Felix; and cementing the relationships we know well by now. The reason I say these moments are earned, is because "Everyone who kissed before has to kiss again" sounds like a logistical nightmare; but your meticulous writing has set up these dynamics, making this whole chapter click rather than feel clunky.

I know I'm very slow to move through this series, but I'm having a great time; your productivity is insane, and the fact that quality matches quantity is truly mind-boggling. I am once again asking you to be very proud of yourself.

Love 🐝

bee friend!!! ahh!!!!! first of all do NOT apologize for working through it at your pace, I do not mind in the slightest <3 the fact that you're still sending me this feedback makes me heart ache every single time, thank you <33

I'm so so so happy that your new job is good! what a relief to hear!!! I hope you can have the european (late) summer holiday of your dreams! <3 lord knows you deserve it!!

rest of my comments on your comments under the cut hehe

your productivity is insane, and the fact that quality matches quantity is truly mind-boggling. I am once again asking you to be very proud of yourself.

bestie do you want me to CRY?!?! you are so so so kind <33 I am quite proud of myself, for everything I've worked on, for how much I've grown in my writing in the last months, but still, hearing this is unreal <3 thank you <3

now back up I go !!!

Oh we are all blessed like Jisung's jiddies..

you made me laugh again. so fucking early into the message as well. only you, I tell you, only you

Oooh, the casual intimacy, delicious 💋

it's one of my favourite things to write, the little moments that would've changed between them after they did what they did <3 something about it is so so so yummy to me

I love Jeongin probably realizing that all his members took much more advantage of the throuple's proposition than he did ^^

jeongin in this series was SO FUN to me because ... he doesn't have the same sexually adventurous drive the others do, but he's so open to experimenting, be it slowly. and there's so much he finds out about himself - whether that would be, being into a hookup with our reader, or kissing hyunjin ... he's exploring and he's doing it on his own terms and I love him for it and especially in this situation, I love thinking about what went on in his head - did he wonder about misjudging his members? does he wonder if he was blind, like seungmin did when he found out? did he wonder if he would've liked to be with jisung or minho the same way he was with you? so many questions!!!!!!!

I'm sure I've said this before, but I love the way you write Jeongin; he's horny, sarcastic, and a little mean (I love), and yet he acts so scandalized whenever his hyungs say something out of pocket 😂 It's admirable how you've picked up on so many nuances and used them to flesh out the characters to great effect - and that goes for all the members, not just Jeongin.

I'm blushing about this kdhaskdhj because jeongin's chapter took me AGES to write, especially the beginning before the smut part, I scrapped that twice, i think, because I couldn't get him right. the balance and the nuance was a BITCH to figure out so THANK GOD IT PAID OFF but tbh it also ended up making me love him a lot

Brilliant: Hyunjin serves himself up on a silver platter, and yet Changbin still gives him an out. A true gentleman, honestly.

always!!!!

This made me laugh, because Seungmin totally would be like, "I'm not high fiving that", but he also just does not seem like a high fiving guy to me in general 😂

this whole exchange made me CACKLE when I wrote it, i tell you, it's like I had seungmin's spirit in my head, like I could PICTURE him giving hyune the stink eye but giving in because he's a softie and he's experimenting!! he's trying to be a little more loose, okay!! he's trying!!

May, I feel like I'm on fire 😵 The TENSION

cackles evilly this part set up so many things ... soooo so many things ... so many things I could still write, if all my sharing is caring readers weren't long deactivated 😅 /hj

Of course Felix ups the ante, that little shit-stirrer

slutty sharing is caring felix is very dear to me

Aaaaahhh, YES BITCH, that's that Chanlix angst! Chan so nervous? Felix not smiling? Hyunjin silently comforting him, like he knows more than we do?? CHILLS.

eeeek thank you, I'm so glad that landed!!!! I hope you enjoy the bonus thing I wrote for them, I'm reaally happy with that side storyline dsajhdkjh

Oh he would, wouldn't he, that dirty little perv, I love him so much..

he would!!!! he so fucking would!!! god he makes me horny beyond belief, this jisung

7 Minutes in Heaven with Minho was so absurdly hot, I can't 😵😵😵 But the quick clean-up, pulling clothes into place, brushing her hair?! The softest! I love the juxtaposition of them fucking nasty in the bathroom and Minho's pure, unquestionable love and devotion 🥺

always!!!! this minho fucks nasty and loves them even more!!! he's so fucking perfect!!!!!!! they're everything to me!!!!!

If there's two things I don't have it's chill and patience, so of course what I wanted was a full-on orgy; but somehow this was way better - and that's why you're the master of the craft!

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Rather than wish-fulfillment (my wish at least), you once again wrote a chapter packed with tiny, earned moments

can I say? this may be one of my favourite compliments I've ever gotten - you have no idea how badly I want these moments to feel earned, and not just to be slapped in front of the reader ... and it's so hard to perfect .... and ... ah thank youuu <3 this actually means so much

hinting at things we don't know (Right? Am I dumb?) about Chan and Felix; and cementing the relationships we know well by now.

yesyesyesyesyes (you're not dumb at all) honestly having this many characters to play with was the best part of this series, it was such a fun time to flesh them all out, they're so vivid to me now

The reason I say these moments are earned, is because "Everyone who kissed before has to kiss again" sounds like a logistical nightmare; but your meticulous writing has set up these dynamics, making this whole chapter click rather than feel clunky.

once again, this part was SO hard to write. SO HARD. and it took some finessing and editing and moving things around and IM SO GLAD IT WORKED

i love you so so so dearly, thank you so much for your continued love and support and all this feedback <3 you remind me of why I love writing so much, and you mean the world to me <3 I hope your day is going so so so well and you can have your beautiful summer holiday and you get a raise and a free coffee and your pillow is cold and everything else nice in this world <3333

[gaiuswrites]

Original Sin | Darksaber!Din

Pairing: Dark!Din x fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ older for the love of all things holy)

Word count: 3.4k~

Summary: Things change after Grogu leaves. People change. No one is exempt.

Warnings/tags: DUB CON?¿, masturbation (m and f), inappopriate use of darksaber, sex toy (...), Dark!Din, Dom!Din, sacrilegious references, really dark shit, i am so sorry

Update: This should go without saying, but as it turns out, it’s in need of being said: every word written in this fic is my own; any likeness to any other work is coincidence, regardless of how bizarre. I don’t mean to offend anyone or raise suspicion, as I am certainly not a plagiarist (literally couldn’t be even if I tried: I am equal parts too incompetent, too busy, and too lazy to steal from someone else. Fellow writers can attest, I’m an absolute garbage reader and fall behind on almost everyone’s work. There’s an embarrassing amount I haven’t read.) Please reach out to me personally if you have any concerns. I respect everyone here like you wouldn’t believe. Sending love to you all. Be well. ✨

Notes: When I go to hell (it really is only a matter of timing, and not so much a question of if anymore), this fic will rank number one on the list of reasons why I’m sent to my eternal timeout. This... I'm twisted. I have issues. God help us. Seriously, this is basically a horror show. I bow down to the Darksaber!Din content creators who came before me, and the original artwork that inspired me to write this— thank you for lighting this (descending, dirty) path. I HAVE TAGGED A FEW PEOPLE HERE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INTERESTED but really— REALLY— there’s absolutely no pressure. Cheers friends x ( gif credit: @skyshipper )

Masterlist | Read it on Ao3!

The days stretch long like morning yawns—hours passing on creaky bones, slow and congealed inside the metal womb of the Crest.

It wasn’t always this way.

They used to be filled with pitter pattering— with wily antics and vanishing acts that could baffle even the most veteran of illusionists— with prying frogs from tiny, green hands and giggling as blocks and baubles floated through the hull. Laughter. There used to be laughter here.

But that was then. The child is gone now. The Razor Crest is quiet.

Time fills itself like this; there’s little for you to do now but wait. Wait for the dusk to blur into the dawn. Wait for your food to cook. Wait for the shower to warm. Wait for the parts you ordered to arrive at the port. Wait for Din to come back—to come home.

Home. You used to be so certain—you’d bite the head off anyone who questioned otherwise— but you’re not so sure this is home anymore. Its not that anything has changed. No, the galley, the carbonite pods, the cockpit, the deck—it’s all still here. The scuffed walls, the durasteel, the littered crates and packed arsenal. But—

It’s different. It feels different. Something is...

off.

You can’t quite put your finger on it. Its intangible, but it’s everywhere—like gas. Invisible to the naked eye, but encircling you all the same. Choking you.

Killing you.

There’s no good explanation for it. You feel eyes on you when there are none. You find yourself glancing over your shoulder, knowing full well you are alone. Something keeps snagging you, pulling at an unseen thread. The corners of your peripherals tugging at you. Beckoning.

Was that a shadow? No.

Is someone there? It’s just you.

There is a tickle at your ear - a constant - dancing along the shell of it. Wherever you go, it follows.

Home home home. It only feels like home when Din is there, safe and sound at your side. But even then, even Din—in all of his plated exterior—even Din has succumbed. Even Din has

changed.

The truth is, Grogu left and a part of Din left with him. There’s less of him now— more, too: there’s less where it matters, and there’s more where there shouldn’t be.

You don’t remember when it started—when he first disappeared. When the spark in him died, and he was reignited anew.

When this Other became.

On multiple occasions you’ve caught him murmuring into the bellied dark of the Crest with a bent spine, hunched over himself as if he’s shrinking—enveloping in in in as far as the beskar along his chest will allow him to cave. You can never pick up what he mutters, but you catch the sounds of his teeth and lips brushing together, hissing. It’s not Basic; you’d recognize it if it were. You don’t think its Mando’a either. It’s too sharp— too vile. There’s none of his language’s elegance in it.

“Did you say something?” You asked once, poking your head around the doorway, eyes resting on the shine of his helmet.

A beat—and slowly, he unfurled, rearing to his full height and like a sentinel he swiveled, pivoting to face you.

“No.”

Your throat bobbed. “Oh, I-I thought I heard-”

“Come here, mesh’la.”

And you did. You always do.

The darksaber appeared on his belt one day, shortly after the child went away. It came, only once, and there it stays. Indistinguishable - inseparable - there is no dismembering the two. It accompanies him in all things; when he pilots, when he hunts, when he eats. It sleeps by him.

By you, too.

Din has always been stoic—of scant words and physical timing—but now he is a golem. A silent, shrouded figure. His Creed is broken, and you wonder maybe - briefly - if Din is broken as well. He is never unkind to you. He is never threatening. But he is never him. His eyes— the oaky comfort you once found in them— have blackened. He is a pit.

Din Djarin is a pit of a man.

And within that pit he has born rage. Immaculately, it has sprung from him as woman did by Adam’s rib. Like mold growing upon stale fruit does he have this—this wrath. It crept through him. It stalked along his soft flesh— his tawny hide—and it waited; patient, there in the shadows, it waited for him. Waited for him to turn his back, to close his eyes and drop his guard— leeway, an entrance— as to slip in undetected.

To inhabit.

The virtue and love that once thrummed within the heart of him has burned away. Charred. Only this of him remains; this insatiable lust— for blood sport, for the promise of split knuckles and fractured bone, for you.

For all of you.

Now, Din goes out on bounties like he needs it—like it’s oxygen. He lives off it. He’s sustained by the rush, by the adrenaline laced chemicals pumping through his arteries. He’s gone for days and weeks on end and when he returns, he fucks you like he’s been starved. Out in the wilderness without a morsel to eat, he devours you. He’s ravenous as he tears his way across your body—all too pliant for him, all too willing—letting him feast on the nectar dripping from your heat.

You can feel it in his foot steps as he storms the ship, the bassy echo of it. You can see it in the pitch of his visor. You can feel it in his cock as he slams into you, night after night after night—ceaselessly. Tirelessly. Unnaturally. The number of orgasms he wrings out of you is countless—his need so incurable, you have to fight to stay above it all; you have to war against your urge to slip away completely.

Din is one grey choice - one hair trigger - from coming undone.

And you should be scared. You should be terrified—he should terrify you. Like scalding water, you should flinch away at the mere sight of him—at the warning steam that rises from his pauldrons. This predator, unhinged and off his leash—a great, crushing beast at which you are at the mercy of.

But— you aren’t.

You couldn’t place it at first: the gnawing. The gnawing at your insides like maggots festering upon a grizzled carcass hanging limp at a wet market. You couldn’t name the tremor in your gut. You gave it epithets as best you could, you gave it placeholders - fear, worry, intrigue - all until one day it spilled. One day it seeped past the tremble of your stomach and sank lower, lower,

lower.

It settled in your cunt—the gnawing. And you named it Want.

You want him. You want this—you’re addicted to it. This sin like led-lined velvet, you want to roll in it until it poisons you, until you’re smothered with it, just like it’s smothering you now— blanketing you as you mewl naked in your bed, knees knocked together. Your eyes roll back into your skull as you frantically work circles into your clit with the all consuming thought of him: his teeth at your shoulders, his hand around your windpipe.

You’re nearing your finish, the promise of that tight coil unraveling there - there - right before you. You’re so enrapt in it—in this dizzying, wanton act—you don’t register the ramp lowering. You don’t hear the carbonite chamber whir, his quarry freezing over, or his foot falls sounding their way to your bunk.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

You gasp, frightened eyelids wrenching open as his baritone timbre crackles through the hull. The Mandalorian stands there, backlit by the glow from the galley and he looms—expressionless. Haunting. You blink at him rapidly, batting away the desire that’s glazed over your eyes.

“Y-You’re back,” you stutter lamely. You try to smile. You try to distract him. “I uhm, I didn’t hear you come in. I thought you wouldn’t be back until, u-until..."

Your excuses fade, mouth parched dry. The film of his visor gives you nothing. He is unknowable, but you feel it - sense it - that energy—unbridled and rippling off of him in sick, suffocating waves.

“I’ll ask you again,” Din starts.

“What-" he steps towards you, darksaber hanging heavy at his hip, “do you think-" you shimmy up your cot, shoulder blades digging into the steel sidings, “you’re doing?”

Your heart thunders against your chest, beating until you’re sure it’ll burst.

“I’m-"

I’m sorry you almost say, and you have to force yourself to gulp down the apology. You know he doesn’t want it, and he knows you wouldn’t mean it even if you offered it to him.

Your brow wavers. “I-"

He rips away the sheet you had drawn up over you and reflexively you jerk back, revealing the gloss on your fingers and the patch of hair above your mound, shimmering shamefully—exposing you, mocking you under the dim lights.

“What’s this?” he asks, and fuck he’s patronizing you. He’s smirking—you don’t have to see it, you can hear it in the curving lilt of his voice as he drinks in the sight of your very obvious indiscretion, laid bare before him. You can’t bring yourself to answer him—you can hardly look at him—and you bristle, hair on your arm prickling up.

“You fuck yourself speechless, little one?”

Your cunt throbs, burning and contracting around the orgasm that was snatched away from you and fuck, you’re drowning in him. Din is tar—he’s an oil slick, and you’re plummeting through it—gasping for air, for the surface, for sunlight. He’s everywhere—his broad frame, his voice, his scent like copper and smoke. You can barely breathe through the thick of him.

“Answer me,” he growls, leather croaking at the clench of his fist.

“Yes—yes,” you utter, proceeding with honesty, no matter how pathetic. “I missed you,” you squeak out.

Din cocks his head, a smug look scowled onto his visor. “You missed me?” he purrs through a sneer and you nod, precious and small, worrying the inside of your lip.

He sinks one leg and then the other onto your bedroll, just between your parted feet, kneeling before you. The flimsy spring mattress squeals under his weight—all of that armor, all of that boiling soot trapped within him.

“How much?”

For a moment, you must look confused. Puzzled. Your eyebrows furrow as Din unclips the saber from his belt, rolling it over in his hand. You rake your gaze up from it, dilated pupils landing on the unforgiving black panel there.

“You claim you missed me. Prove it.”

Your cunt bottoms out.

He crouches over you, tracing along your inner thighs with it's steel shaft and you bury your fists into the cot. You don't know which to look at: Din or the rod in his hand. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you trust me.”

Fuck, it feels like you’re going to rattle apart. There isn’t an inch of you that isn’t humming—isn’t seizing up wild. “I-I trust you,” you mouth softly. And you do, whether you should or not—you trust him with your life, to make or ruin.

“Fuck, you’re wet mesh'la,” he appraises darkly, leaning in to run a leathered digit through your seam, parting your curls. Your legs twitch, heels of your feet digging into the bed. “So ready for me. So eager."

Your eyes dance frenetically down to the handle and back up to him as he aligns the saber with your pussy. The blunt end of it touches your lips and you shudder, instinctually fidgeting away from it. Din splays his hand on your knee, anchoring you in place. “Shh,” he coos, rubbing a thumb soothingly into your skin. It doesn’t feel sweet. It feels sickly, cloying— like arsenic.

You don’t dare breathe as he prods the shaft into you, inch by terrible inch. It doesn’t matter how slicked and wet you are from touching yourself, your walls strangle the foreign intrusion. Your body resists.

“Fuck,” you sob. Your throat, your pussy, all of it— it’s all compacted. It feels so fucking tight, both words and air fighting to get out and in all at once—everything inside you constricting.

“Show me,” he grits through clenched teeth. “Show me how much you missed me.” He drags his gloved digit over your clit, pressing down onto it until you see stars, fizzing in front of your vision. “I know you can take it, sweet girl. Be good and show me.”

Be good. Be good for him. Be his only vice.

He continues to swirl at your bundle of nerves and you’re nearly thrashing with it— with all of this— hair fanned and mussed against the pillow as you writhe, swallowing his saber to the hilt. Fuck, you’re so full. Maker, you’re stuffed with it; with the cold, uneven edges, the ridges woven into the grip of it— and he slowly - tortuously - delves the handle in and out of you, hitting against your cervix with every thrust.

You can only mumble. Your lips have gone slack, your mind is cavernous. All you can do is quiver and beg— beg for release. Beg for it to end.

Beg for more.

“Oh gods, oh g- Maker, please—”

Your bleary eyes shoot open as you’re silenced by the grip of his gloved hand.

“No.” Din pinches your jaw in the web of his palm, fingertips dimpling your cheeks. “No, your God isn’t here,” he seethes, low and deadly, graphite venom dripping from his lips. “Pray to me.”

Fuck.

Trembling, your lips pucker ugly and sloppy as you babble uselessly in his stony grasp, chin crinkling with a whimper. “D-Din.”

He inhales sharply, mouth snaking into a wicked grin behind his helm. “That’s it. That’s my good girl.”

He’s deboning you as he would a fish. Practiced, he plucks you into messy pieces—gutting you through your open maw. His ministrations are crawled. They’re slothed and carnal with arrogance and pride and it’s not enough—its all together too much, but still—it’s not enough. You’re hungry. You paw at him, scraping over his breastplate.

“Din, please—more," you gasp feverishly, eyes blown wide.

A blip of static huffs through his modulator. “You want more, you filthy little thing?” He gives you another squeeze, indenting scorch marks into your face.

You nod—you try to, his grasp is too firm, rooting your neck to still. “Yes.”

Din groans, all but obliging you as he begins to fuck you harder, pistoning through you as he thumbs your nub with his rough pad.

“Din-”

You’re whining now, tinny and depraved. It’s wrong. Every part, every second of this, is wrong. Immoral. But you can’t stop the way your body convulses at his every touch—you can’t stop the heat roiling in your core.

“Din, Din baby- fuck fuck fuck-”

It’s like he’s trying to split you in two—all of you. Your pussy, your mind, your soul—he’s bisecting you. Divvying you up to bits of nothing. It’s only then that horrid realization occurs to you, winding through your addled haze as he fucks you deep and splintering: you’ll never be whole again.

And scarier still—you don’t think you want to be.

No, you want to be these loathsome shards. You want to be broken glass. You want to draw blood.

You want to be possessed by him.

“Fuck yourself,” he pants, his cock straining violently against his trousers, begging for relief. “Be good and fuck yourself. Let me watch.”

Be good be good be good

He leaves your clit and you whimper at the loss. Your face is stained with tears. The salty trails cascade down to mingle into your hair, into the sheets. You’re vibrating, but you do as he says and you reach down, recoiling when you touch the chilled metal tip. Tentatively, you pad along it, settling on the end that’s peeking out from you.

A pained sound rumbles through Din as you wrap your fist around the saber, and your eyes flit up to meet his, hidden somewhere behind his helm. Hurriedly he unbuttons his pants in a flourish and removes himself from his constraints. He’s pulsing and proud, flexing up against his stomach, the veins choked to bulge along the angry, silken shaft of him.

Finally, you begin to move the hilt—finding an aching, undulating rhythm and he can’t fucking take it. He rips his helmet off, letting it clatter to the floor.

“Din,” your pray, “Din, I think I’m going to-”

You’re wrecked – fried like a livewire– as you look for him, as you search and search—for that warmth, for a trace of him left there. The Din you knew, the Din you agreed to fly with all those months ago, the Din you love. You think you see it sometimes—in the slant of his mouth, the bridge of his nose— but here, now, he is gone.

He is a pit.

Din Djarin is a pit of a man, and you want nothing more than to fall. Standing on the ledge of him, staring down into the abyss—you want this. You want to fall. You want to jump.

“Tell me you’re mine. Tell me, sweet girl— tell me.” He’s fucking his fist raw, humping into his palm as desperate as an animal.

“I’m yours,” you mewl. Furiously rubbing your clit with one hand and spearing yourself on the rod of his saber with the other, your hips buck and spasm. You snap. A blinding light sears through you, ricocheting off every scrap of muscle and tendon sewed up in your body. “Just for you,” you cry, “I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours—”

Your ragged sobs mix with the lewd slaps of skin as Din pumps himself, hot ropes of his release spitting onto you— painting your pussy, the divot of your navel, coating along the slope of your tummy.

“Look at you—fucking, look at you,” he moans throatily, easing through his rough strokes as he softens.

Your chest is heaving and you feel dumb, empty—like a puppet, arms and legs moving on phantom strings. Din removes the handle from you with a wet squelch; a viscous strand of your juices clings on, obscenely connecting your pussy to the base of it, and you rasp—the wind punched out of you with its gaping absence. You gush. It dribbles out the slit of you, leaking past your abused hole and soaking into the bedroll.

When he unsheathed the saber from your scabbard, he took a part of you with it. You’re so fucked out—you’re practically a parsec away— it went unnoticed.

Undetected.

It brushed past you. You didn’t feel it—you didn’t recognize the whisper that has slithered in in it’s place, nestling within your swollen folds.

Breeding there.

“Beautiful,” Din murmurs, placing it on the mattress beside your head, the chrome of it gleaming with your slick. He bows his head to lick a path up your cunt, laving you clean as he climbs higher and higher, tonguing off his seed from your stippled skin. “Fucking beautiful, mesh’la,” he growls. “Mine—all fucking mine.”

You’ve gone heavy. You’re too heavy to keep your eyes open—you’ve been hollowed out and you’ve got nothing keeping you tethered here. You start slipping under in slow motion—intervals between languid blinks lasting longer and longer. You’re spooled in a knot of tangled limbs with Din’s mouth, fervent and needy, flaying you open as he sees fit— with his hot mouth and teeth, suckling your breasts, biting at your nipples and bruising your pretty neck.

It’s not long before you hear it again, as you have before— as you always do: the faint caressing of speech, of lips forming language you cannot understand—made indecipherable in your strung out high.

“D’you say something?” you mumble, half conscious—half dreaming.

Din laps a long stripe up your throat, his stubble sanding your skin. “No.”

You sigh, breathy and girlish, as his fingers find your mound, dipping into you once again. He makes you cum twice more that evening. You barely have the strength to watch him do it.

/

Finally, when he’s satisfied—when he’s spent with driving you mad, making you rile— he grants you respite. He permits it – generous, charitable - and you sleep like the dead, soundly through the night until—

until you don’t.

Eyes. You feel them somewhere— there are eyes on you. You stir, stuttering in your sleep to squirm in the dark. You don’t know what you’re listening to at first. It’s a sound of some kind, a noise. There is a hiss—

A frigid hand seizes around the bloody organ pulsing in your ribcage.

No, not a hiss—it’s a voice. It’s— no-

You pat around for Din beside you but he’s gone—he’s long gone and his vacant spot has grown cold without him—and your nails dig into the sheets, desperately clawing into the fabric.

Inside you.

The voice, the sharp hush of it—it’s inside you. It speaks from inside your own mind, its forked tongue fluttering against your ear.

‘Wake up, sweet girl.’

/

Tags (IM SO SORRY): @djarinsbeskar @pedros-mustache @krissology @keeper0fthestars @read-and-rec

[hai-se]

F/GO: Chronicles of a Master [Vol. 1] (pt. I)

Description: Has humanity fallen so deep into sin that others seek retribution against them?

Where is our salvation?

Where are our second chances?

Are we all created equal or are we all valued the same?

Why do we fight?

Why do I fight?

Will it ever be worth it?

The written diary of a master in Chaldea during their last leg. The one who was bestowed a burden that the world gave. They belong to no one but they belong to everyone. The secrets of Humanity's last master is told in the fashion of their diary. Fujimaru Ritsuka is only but a man filled with flaws like any human.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own fate grand order or any of its products as it belongs to Aniplex, or Type Moon or DW or Nasu.

The graphic designer of my cover is @TheDarkenIllusions

Pairings: N/A

Genre: Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Adventure

Warning: Gore, swearing, suicidal thoughts, depression, mental health, Spoilers for the game and light novels and manga.

Fandom: Fate/Grand Order and the Fate series.

Author’s Note: Can also be found at Wattpad under Hai_se_r__ and at Quotev at SiriusLyS. Also please don’t come @ me please lol, I just had this idea suddenly so sorry if my update schedule will be wack since there’s an Black Clover x FGO fic that I’m also working on which is my utmost priority rn since this series will have an irregular update schedule.

      It's terrifying, I think, to land in a burning city with the smell of rotting flesh and iron flooding your nose.

To look around you and see nothing but fire and ashes, to hear the world scream in death. It makes your eyes water to see the world be nothing but chaos. There are some exceptions to chaos, sometimes order can be found, but in the chaos of the city we landed in, there was no order, just plain anarchy.

When I woke up that day, I wasn't expecting to suddenly be in charge of the whole of humanity. I expected to die in the command room with Mash, holding her hand and giving her company for her last moments in the physical plane, not to live and to have traveled back in time.

Right. Traveling back in time, that whole other mess that I didn't even cover. Singularities are an unobservable region that does not exist within Chaldea's recorded history. It's as if a hole has opened up within the timeline, a hole that is separate from the regular temporal axis.

They are sustained by a Holy Grail, which is given to a certain individual within a key historical time period, typically someone who will use it to cause major disruption to history and destabilize the Human Order Foundations.

The power of the Grails and the circumstances within the Singularities allow for the summoning of Servants and their continued existence in the world, even without a Master.

The emergence of large Singularities cause disturbances and fluctuations in time which spread out tsough history like a wave, and can cause other, smaller Singularities to emerge at other points in time.

Because of humanity's destruction in 2015, due to the collapse of the Human Order Foundation, we're forced to travel to Singularities in the past in order to fix the irregularities of history caused by various Holy Grails.

This is the start of the Grand Order where we, Chaldeans, would rise up against human history for the sake of humanity and to combat fate itself.

But it's just starting.

It starts at the city of Fuyuki, the flame contaminated city, the city of blood and war.

The city of servants and masters.

We had only finished clearing the Fuyuki singularity, a relief it should be, but we've been burdened with greater weight.

I don't know how to feel. I think I'm still in shock.

The prospect of meeting heroes and traveling back in time seems unrealistic, goes to show how brilliant Chaldea's whole existence really is.

Chaldea would probably look more amazing to me if I wasn't too busy worrying about the future. The staff would would probably be less crabby in a day to day basis if there wasn't so much pressure and stress on them. Dr. Roman and the staff are current researching the next singularity which is a whole load of night shifts and pulling all nighters, which puts so much stress. Dr. Roman's the one who told me to write in a diary you know? Says that in the end, no one is going to remember or know of the journey we'll take, only us and the ones who live under this roof. I think I'd like to write more than our journey.

It's a nice thought I think.

It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, I suppose, to meet heroes from various eras, to meet your idols. It would sound good to anyone. It'd be the best way to catch fish someone, honestly, but then again who would believe of legends and powers in our era?

It's hard knowing that in the end, I'd probably remember this whole journey as a delusion and hallucination as I grow older and lose memories. The people I'll meet will be dismissed and the affections and the humanity that's expressed will fade into background. Maybe even the lessons I'll learn will only end up as ridiculed thoughts.

But....

It's not just me.

The journey to save humanity seems like a long path through treacherous obstacles but I'm not just fighting for myself right?

It won't be JUST me.

I'm not the one who carries the burden alone.

It's a lot of weight to carry the whole world on your shoulders. They say I'm the one who'll struggle the most but I think the ones who will are the ones who'll be in the command room, staying awake for hours on end and researching. They're homesick, tired, weary, exhausted, and most importantly, people.

They'll be the ones forced to watch on the sidelines unable to help anyone or anything, nothing to quench and quell their thirst to help, to do something.

But we have to be strong.

We have to give our best.

It has to be enough.

It will always have to be enough.

It can't not be enough.

To waver is to leave yourself open to your enemies.

I suppose watching anime and shows really do help real life.

'Till next time, I guess.

F. Ritsuka