#since she’s really into wicked rn

[iiinkos]

merry gelphie

[pasdasin]

Wicked Game

wolverine x vampire!reader

an: can u guys tell im not working rn with the amount uploading! also currently working on ch 4! if you guys have any ideas feel free to send me stuff!! i <3 vampire!reader and wanna write more about her :3... also sorry if pacing is weird lol

ch 3

warnings: SMUT!!! fingering, erotic blood drinking, angst lol, prob like cussing lol, im sure there is more so just be warned in general, mdni lol

previous -- next

~~~~~

The proposition weighed heavily on your mind. A chance to return where it all started? You couldn’t stomach the thought. You’d have to ask Logan what he thought. He always knew what to say. You couldn’t dwell on it now, another task was at hand. You smoothed out your denim skirt for the millionth time and stared at your reflection. Nothing seemed appropriate enough. Nothing seemed right when it came to talking about your past. Two hundred and seventy-five years old and this was most nerve racking thing you’ve ever done.

talk in front of teenagers. 

Sighing you turned back to your closest when the door of your room slowly opened.

“y/n? Are you ready yet? My class is waiting” Storm entered your room. “Damn you look good! Honestly expected a full Bela Lugosi get up.”

“Very funny, but I am not a vampire.” You said, turning to her. 

“Okay yeah, and I don’t control the weather.” She snickered at you. She held out her hand and you grabbed it tightly, allowing yourself to be pulled through the halls of the mansion as the two of you giggled and talked friday night plans. 

The two of you reached her classroom and it seemed fuller than normal. You glanced around the room and noticed Logan standing near one of the walls closer to where you’d be presenting. You shot him a smile smile and he nodded back at you, causing your heart to race. You approached the desk at the front of the room and took a deep breath in. You could not only hear your heart pumping, but also every single person in that room. 

Turning around you smiled at everyone and sat sheepishly on the desk. You felt Logan’s eyes on you as you listened to Storm start her lecture. You glanced towards him and watched as he sent you a silent message.

You’ll be okay bub. I’m right here.

You turned back to the class and scanned the crowd. It seemed as though every single person was there, even though it was physically impossible. Your eyes zeroed in on Scott and Alex. Alex. Your mind wandered back to what Charles asked of you the previous night.

“I know you don’t do missions since the incident, but you could really benefit Alex.”

“I dedicated my life to medicine, and helping others. I cannot just leave that.”

“Just think about it okay? Its London afterall. Don’t think I don’t know about what the two of you did there”

You quickly glanced away and turned your full attention back to Storm. She was just about finished with her recap of the lesson plan. Her eyes met yours and she winked down at you. 

“Now that we have finished Dracula, I thought as a treat instead of a movie, we could hear about the real events from the person who inspired the book herself. This is y/n, your school nurse.” A small round of applause broke out as you stood up from the desk.

“Hi everyone! So yes I inspired Dracula, so please ask me any questions.” Immediately questions rang out towards you. Are you a vampire? How come you don’t sparkle? I thought vampires drink blood!

Typical questions that you usually got from new students that visited your office. You quickly answered them without even thinking about it. Alex raised his hand jokingly before asking you the question you dreaded the most.

“How exactly did you inspire the book?” You paused, silently remembering the events of the night. You felt a knot in your throat before you began.

“In 1895, I met Bram Stoker in a pub. He was strange but endearing. A flirt really, and I knew I was done for. In 1896 I confessed to him my mutation and how at that point I was twenty-five for fifty years at that point. He didn’t believe me of course and when I showed him my true nature, the book was born.” You paused, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. “The dedication was for me, and one of the brides had my name at the time and my description. I left Ireland and headed for London after the town found out about it. That’s actually where I met Logan.” 

The rest of the class period was full of laughter and more questions about your life in general, but you easily avoided those. As your presentation ended, you thanked Storm for the chance she gave you and promised to get drinks in the future. She walked away from you as Logan approached, wrapping his arm around your waist. 

“Good job bub. I knew you could do it.” You pushed his arm jokingly as the two of you started to walk out of the room, as Alex walked up to the two of you. Logan’s grip on your waist tightened.

“To my ever lasting beauty, an ageless angel, my queen of the dark. A book for your life. Wow you really made an impression on this dude. I didn’t realize you only dated what? Tall, dark and handsome. I’ll dye my hair ya know”

“Watch it Alex” Logan muttered, his claws starting to breach his knuckles.

“Woah big guy, I am just teasin. Anyways, y/n I heard the professor talked to you about Europe. What did ya think?” You made a face as you heard Logan’s blood race faster.

“I’m not too sure yet. I am still thinking about everything.” He nodded at your words before wishing you well and ignoring Logan. The two of you watched him walk away. 

“What the hell is he talking about?” Logan looked down at you, his face mixing into anger and confusion. 

“Lets go to my room okay?”

___

“What the hell do you mean a mission to London? And with him!” Logan snarled at you. You stared him down, not afraid of what he would do to you. 

“Calm down Logan! Its not a big deal I haven’t even decided yet!”

“Yeah I’m deciding for you. NO” He paced the left side of the bed as he muttered to himself.

“You don’t control me! I am my own person and I can’t die! Why don’t you trust me?” You felt your fangs push downwards in anger. If you weren’t careful you weren’t sure what would happen. 

“I don’t trust him. You won’t go and thats final.” His claws started to extend as he turned towards you. Fuck it.

The two of you lunged at each other and embraced as a tangle of limbs. Your lips crashed onto every piece of skin it met before you finally met his lips. He held you close to his chest and he messily made out with you, somehow managing to rip off your shirt, leaving in just the skirt and bra. His breath reeked of alcohol and his cologne filled your nose. The tobacco residue from an earlier cigar danced on his tongue as you deepened the kiss. You turned to straddle his lap, you pushed him down on the bed and, without thinking, you leaned down and sunk your fangs into his neck.

The warmth of his blood entered your mouth and the taste was euphoric. You continued your frenzy as you started to grind down on his growing erection. He groaned and panted as you nuzzled deeper into his vein. Your hot breath created a layer of pleasure to the holes in his neck and you pushed down harder on his clothed cock. 

“Please, fuck, don’t stop.” He choked out, moaning the last word. You didn’t think you could if you even wanted too. The taste of his blood made you whine in his ears as you picked up the pace of your hips, desperate for friction. His hand snaked down to your pussy, fingers slipping into your underwear and onto your clit. Your fangs sunk in deeper as he rubbed circles. “You’re so fucking wet for me.” He picked up the pace making you squeal from pleasure.

“Pl-ee-se-” You couldn’t think. The friction, his fingers, his blood. Without warning, you came hard on his fingers, allowing yourself to get lost in the heat of the moment.

Eyes half lidded you removed your fang from his neck and you looked down at the mess created. Blood stained the sheets, pillows, his shirt, and most likely everything else on the bed. Your mouth and neck was covered in a sheer layer of his blood. 

You snapped back to reality and realized what you had done. 

“Logan I’m- I can’t. I have to go.” Quickly you threw on a random shirt and left as quickly as you came, leaving Logan in the mess.

His neck already healing, his lifted his pants to stare at the mess left. Cuming in his pants was so middle school, but it wouldn’t be the first time this happened. Before being forced into the weapon x program, you fed on him regularly. Back then, your insatiable bloodlust wasn’t controlled, and he loved it. 

Trapped in the trance of euphoria, he didn’t realize you had gone. Slowly succumbing to sleep, Logan wouldn’t realize until the morning that you had gone. He ran through the mansion praying you’d still be in the confines of the walls. It was too late when he finally reached you. 

Watching as you left with Alex Summers to a mission to Europe. 

~~~~~

tag list: @captain039 @twinky-wink @fuckmachine42069 @honeybeedrabble

an: omg the drama!! also thank yall so much for ur support :3

[azrielsdove]

Requesting rhys x reader

reader has an eating disorder that rhys thought she was passed it. She tries to hide little things from him like wearing baggier clothes cause she’s losing weight. Once he has suspicions he starts making her meals but she just says she isn’t hungry or she already ate but he keeps pushing her to eat so she does. But he catches her in the bathroom throwing up after. He’s really angry at first but then just wants to help her stop so he peels food labels off everything, never leaves her alone, she can’t go to the bathroom by herself. He gets rid of scales and mirrors. Idk I’m just really feeling a super over protective /controlling rhys rn

Okay, this is not exactly what you asked for, but I really struggled to get too dark with it. I have definitely had this feeling before, and I couldn’t bring myself to write it as serious! I still wanted to do your request, knowing that sometimes it helps to see struggles like this in stories, and see them overcome it. I hope you still enjoy this, it is a little short but sweet I think. Please let me know!!

***

Beautiful Girl

Warnings: Negative body image

***

You looked over yourself in the mirror, admiring the way the dress fell on your body. It was tight, sheer, and sexy. You knew you looked good, having fought hard to get to this level of acceptance. You turned to the side, tracing your hands down the material. You were truly beautiful.

Cassian walked into the living room where you were still standing in front of the mirror. He whistled, the sound causing you to turn your head sharply. You smiled, spinning slowly for him. “Damn girl! You look hot.” You laughed, throwing your head back.

“Don’t let Rhys hear those sort of words come out of your mouth.” You chided, a smile on your lips. Cassian’s eyes looked affectionally over you, ever the flirt. His stare caught on the sheer paneling over your stomach, a teasing smile on his face.

“Guess I will need to up your training, get some abs on that body of yours!” He laughed, turning to sit on the couch to wait for the others.

You stilled.

You knew the words were a joke, hardly even anything negative. The small, terrible part of your mind suddenly started up, picking out all your imperfections as you looked on the mirror. You felt self conscious in this dress now, an embarrassment to Rhys. You had halfway decided to go change when he appeared in the room, walking over to you.

“My beautiful, perfect love. You look ravishing.” He sent a wicked smile your way, pressing a kiss to your lips. You couldn’t help but think about his hands on you waist, on how your body must feel under them. He noticed your hesitation, eyes catching yours. “You okay?” He asked quietly, worry filling his face. You forced a smile on your face and kissed him again.

“Never better.”

***

It had been a few days since Cassian made that comment and you were falling deeper into your mind. You would stand in front of the mirror before your baths, nitpicking every part of your body. You stopped wearing your normal tight revealing clothes, instead opting for loose and big. You even sized up in your fighting leather for training, allowing the looser form to hide your body.

Rhys noticed, of course.

He didn’t understand what had caused you to start to fall down this path again, when you had been doing so well. You hadn’t had any issues in years. He didn’t want to ask, knowing it would send you into a further spiral if he brought it up.

Instead, he took it upon himself to rid the house of anything that would hurt you. You woke up one morning to find all the mirrors were gone, Rhys acting like they had never existed. You found one of his shirts and a pair of loose trousers left out for you, slightly better than what you had been wearing. When you went to find Rhys in the kitchen, you found him with two plates of food for the both of you. He started making all your meals, showering you in compliments, leaving comfortable clothes out for you.

You finally broke at breakfast a few days later, overwhelmed with his actions. “Why have you been doing this?” You demanded, arms crossed in front of you. Rhys paused for a second, looking up at you.

“Doing what?” He asked, feigning innocence. You rolled your eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Rhysand,” you began, “the mirrors are gone. You’re making my meals, picking out my clothes. Why?”

There was a long pause.

“I noticed. How you were looking at yourself. Sizing up your clothing. I saw you in here sitting in front of a plate of barely anything, hardly touching it.” He stood, coming over to you. “This is not the first time i’ve seen this in you,” he spoke softly, “I know the signs.”

You remained silent, face flushed with embarrassment. He had caught you so easily, so quickly. “I- It just got bad again.” You whispered, looking down at the ground. Rhys cupped your face in his hands, bringing you back up to look at him.

“I know,” he said, “It isn’t always going to be easy. Lucky for you, I will be by your side to help you through.” He gave you a cocky smile, drawing a laugh from you. You leaned up and kissed him, love flowing through your body.

“Thank you, Rhys. For always protecting me, even from myself.” You noticed a faint blush on his neck at your words, smiling to yourself. Even after all these years, your words still affected him like that. He pulled you into a tight hug, holding you close.

“Can I ask what spurred this? To try to prevent it from happening again?” He asked, pulling away to look at your face. You debated not telling him, knowing Cassian would surely suffer. Unfortunately for him, you could never hide anything from the High Lord, your love.

“Cass made a comment the night we went to dinner, about ‘putting some abs on’. It wasn’t even an insult, just a joking tease about training. It hit me wrong I guess, sending my mind back into that dark hole.” Rhys’ eyes flashed with anger at your words, his arms holding onto you tighter. “He didn’t mean anything by it!” You assured, not wanting him to unleash his full wrath onto the General.

“I’m sure he didn’t,” Rhys said coolly, “but he needs to learn to be more careful with his words.”

***

You didn’t know what Rhys had said or done to Cassian, but the next day he was on his knees in front of you, dramatically begging your forgiveness and showering you in apologies. You laughed at him, pulling him up to his feet. “No hard feelings, Cass.” You assured, giving him a hug. “But maybe think before you speak next time.”

For the weeks after, Rhys continued to make your meals and lay out your clothes. His outfits slowly got tighter and more revealing, allowing you the time to sink back into your skin. He showered you with plenty of compliments in every one, making sure you smiled everyday. He assisted you in training, helping you get back to strengthening your body, not harming it. You began to feel confident again, even admiring yourself in the reflection of the window one night. Rhys had caught you standing there, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Beautiful girl,” he murmured, kissing your neck softly. You leaned into his touch and looked at the image of the two of you, the power and love you exuded.

You were strong, powerful, and beautiful. Rhys had only pushed you to see that truth once again. You were the one that allowed his love to push down the darkness, instead of letting it swallow you up like it had before.

***

[nr1chaedickrider]

'Wicked games'

i got this idea bc of a sana edit.. god bless that editor

Smut, and maybe a bit angst??

cw: somno, getting drunk (the reader), kinda toxic sana??, virginity getting taken

not proofread bc i am very lazy rn...

_______________________________________

You've been friends with Sana for a long time now. Its weird how you two are friends, she is so popular, everyone loves her while you arent really popular.

She is always the talk of your college, its like in gossip girl, everyone is talking about her almost 24/7.

People are always wondering with who she is. She never told anybody about having a relationship, not even you know.

But maybe its better that you dont know it.

_______________________________________

You walk out of your literature class, talking with your new friend, momo. She just came here recently and you both grew close so fast.

"Hey, how about we go out today? You know, for dinner" momo asked you while smiling.

"So its a date?" you jokingly say.

"If you want it to be" she smiles, kissing your cheek and walking away to her next class.

The girl watching bites her lip. She cant let that happen.

_______________________________________

"And then she asked me out!!! can you believe that???" you said excitedly, sitting on Sana's bed.

"Im happy for you" Sana said, looking at her book.

"But are you sure she is the right one?" She asks, looking up to you since she is sitting on the floor.

"You know, she is new. What if she already does something with someone else? You cant trust her that easily"

You look at Sana confused,

"Come on Sana!!! Let me have so fun!" you look at the clock,

"Anyways, i gotta go, i need to get ready for my date" you say teasingly, taking your things and leaving sana's apartment.

"Oh trust me. You will have fun..." she mumbles while she watches you from her window.

_______________________________________

"And then she brought me home and she kissed me!!!!" you say, smiling like a little child while sana eats next to you in the cafeteria. Clenching her teeth.

"ill be back." she says, standing up and walking away.

You look after her confused, maybe she just needs to do something..

And she does.

She needs to do something against momo.

She needs to have you.

Since she is so popular, people would do anything for her. She can definetly use that, cant she...?

_______________________________________

You sigh as Sana shows you the pictures of a girl kissing momo.

"i thought she liked me" you say as Sana puts away her phone and caresses your back with her hand.

"I told you, dont trust her so easily.." She said, looking at you.

"Come on, dont be so sad. She isnt worth it." She puts her hand on your thigh.

"I feel so bad" you say, sighing again as you lean back and your back hits the bedframe of sanas bed.

"How about we go out? for drinks?" she says, smiling.

Of course, your innocent you doesnt think about the Consequences.

"Sure!"

_______________________________________

You didnt expect it to escalate so fast.

You and Sana went to the bar just around the corner, both of you wearing short and tight dresses.

You could feel some glances on your body, not knowing sana was always looking at you. Basically eyefucking you.

Oh she is so excited to have you later.

_______________________________________

"I love you sana you're the best friend i always needed" you say drunkily, hugging her as sana orders two shots.

She only drank one, while you had too many drinks.

"Come on, last one and then we go" she says, smiling as she hands you the shot glass.

"Cheers!!!" you drink it, it burns in your throat. You both stand up, walking out of the bar after sana paid, walking home to her apartment because she is so nice to let you sleep over.

"that was fun" you say, almost falling on the floor while taking off your shoes.

"it really was.." sana smirks, watching you as she leans against the doorframe of her bedroom.

"i feel so hot.." you say, your hand playing with the zipper of your dress that you can hardly reach.

"need some help?" sana asked. There is no difference if she would take it off now or later in bed right?

"yes please.." you slurr, walking to her. She unzips your dress, slowly, while her hot breath hits your bare neck.

You step out of the dress, taking it and putting it on the chair.

"im tired.." you say, jumping on the bed while only wearing your panties. Your cute panties sana absolutely adores..

"Hope you dont mind"

Of course sana wouldnt mind. she is enjoying this more than anyone.

She takes off her dress and sits down on the bed, only wearing a bra and her underwear.

"so tired..." you say, looking at sana as she smiles at you.

"its so hot in here.." you sigh.

"dont worry, it will go away soon." sana whispers, moving a strand of hair away from your face.

Your eyes close, slowly falling asleep.

"You're only mine.." she whispers as she slowly climbs on top of you.

"It worked.." she lets out a chuckle.

She starts kissing your neck, softly. Leaving a trail of wet kisses.

You make it so easy for her to use you...

She moves down, taking one of your nipples in her mouth as she slowly starts to suck on it.

Groping your other breast while she places her knee inbetween your legs, applying pressure on your core with it.

Soft whimpers leaving your mouth as you're asleep. Its the perfect moment for sana.

Its like a dream come true.

She starts to suck on your other nipple, her hand travels down as she rubs the material of your underwear against your clit. Softly and slowly.

She leaves your erected bud, kissing your neck again. Just now she leaves marks..

She needs to show who you belong to, doesnt she?

Taking of your underwear, she kneels down, her tongue circling on your clit.

Your moans get louder, it could make sana cum untouched.

She puts a finger inside of your hole, its so tight around her finger.

"If i would have a cock.. oh god what i would do to you baby..." she whispers as she continues teasing your clit with her tongue. She adds a finger and she slowly starts thrusting in and out of you.

The air gets thicker. Its silent except the sounds of your moans and the wet sounds of your core...

Sana can feel your body arch,

"You're so close to your first orgasm.. how cute...

come on, cum for me. and only me baby" sana says, even though she knows you cant hear her. It turns her on so much..

She curls her fingers inside of you as you climax. Juices flowing out of your hole as she "drinks" them.

Sana looks down and sees how she came too.

She sits down on the bed, kissing your forehead.

"I cant wait to do this again when you're awake.." she whispers, laying down and falling asleep.

_______________________________________

You wake up to the smell of food. You sit upright, leaning against the doorframe. Rubbing your eyes and stretching yourself.

"ugh my head..." you groan. You stand up, noticing that you dont have a shirt on. You take one as you stand infront of the mirror.

"what are these..." you look at the hickeys, being confused why they are there..

"how did you sleep?" sana asks, smiling as she leans against the door.

"what are these sana?" you say, looking at her very confused.

"i have no idea" she answers, shrugging her shoulders.

"dont worry too much, its normal to forget things when you're drunk. Im sure you're gonna remember what happened soon.."

"or maybe in your case you just dont remember..." sana mumbles while smiling.

"what did you say?"

"nothing. come eat" she walks back to the kitchen.

You sigh, putting on the shirt.

Sana has something to do with it. You know it.

[secretlocket]

hellooooooooo

what r chris n sunshine reader up to rn bb

it’s currently 8:42 pm in my time which means they’re in bed #fuckin — i’m joking !! sunshine!reader is currently 3 hours deep into a 5 hour shift her manager kinda sorta maybe manipulated her into taking since her coworker called out last minute. she’s bummed out because she made plans to go see the new wicked movie with chris but y’know, work. on the bright side, he stopped by a little over an hour ago to bring her over some dinner from her favorite restaurant. he’s currently sitting at the bar section pretending to order drinks — which is really pissing her manager off by the way. but he doesn’t care.

[spaceace0599]

Demon Slayer/Wicked AU rambles

My sibling is obsessed with Wicked rn (aren’t we all, it’s fantastic) and I’ve been experiencing Demon Slayer brain rot for a while and we “accidentally” created a mini AU around it and it was the most fun I’ve had in a while and wanted to share my joy so HERE WE GO

If we’re going off of the sibling angst that is Elphaba and Nessa we gotta go with the Shinazugawa brothers. I said Sanemi is Elphaba so we could get some Sanegiyuu content and they disagreed but I’m the one with tumblr so my word is law. Sanemi is Elphaba and Genya is Nessa

Obviously this makes Giyuu Galinda. For both Sanegiyuu reasons and also so Giyuu could still be the one to start Dorothy!Tanjiro on his journey. Yes I know her whole thing is being Popular and Giyuu is not that but it’s an AU leave me alone

This makes Galinda’s two friends Shinobou and Sabito. No I will not be taking notes

Gyomei is Nanny Bear and raised Sanemi and Genya. Shout out to my sibling for this stroke of genius, this made us laugh for like five minutes straight

Tanjiro is, of course, Dorothy. There’s no other option

Inosuke is Toto. No followup required

Zenitsu is the Cowardly Lion, obviously

We had no idea who would be Boq until my best friend suggested Muichiro which is so perfect (“because Tanjiro helps him find his heart again” as my friend put it) AND he’s a solid match to be paired with Genya as Nessa

Wasn’t really sold on who should be Fiyero? Currently thinking Kanae since she kinda had a thing going on with Sanemi for a bit and we couldn’t think of anyone else

Muzon is the tornado that brought Dorothy to Oz cuz “he ruins everything” according to my sibling. Peak comedy there

We couldn’t really decide on the Wizard for sure beyond maybe Ubiyashki? I guess that makes the demons the animals, and even though demons are horribly tragic and COULD fit I’m not sure if I’m sold on it for many reasons (like how it wouldn’t really make sense for Sanemi to give up everything to fight for demons rights, which was part of why we weren’t sure if he should be Nessa or Elphaba. Plus Zenitsu isn’t a demon but he has to be the Lion lol) I’d suggest Muzon but the tornado comment won lol

We went two different routes with Dr. Dillamond and neither one follows “the demons are the animals” but my sibling suggested Rengokou with Akaza as the new history professor, while I said Masachika for the emotional tie for Elphaba!Sanemi

Obviously this is very rough and not meant to be taken seriously, and I know not everything fits with the characters we chose but we had SO much fun discussing it I wanted to share lol

If anyone has any other thoughts or wants to expand on this PLEASE share this was the most fun I’ve had in a WHILE

[sedgewick-gayble]

i was thinking about the art tracy did of all of the lackadaisy characters as different dog/canine species and i thought about doing the same thing but with birds. bc i like birds...

i want to draw this eventually but art block is killing me rn

Rocky Rickaby - Blue Jay

I've had this AU in mind for a while now and Rocky was probably the one that took the longest for me to settle on a decision for- the blue feathers integrate the blue in his design from his eyes and suit, he keeps his stripes, and the white and black on his face align well with his Anthro design (i could also see the black stripes above the beak curving further up to make his eyebrows idk)

Freckle McMurray - European Robin

I have really mixed feelings on a european robin for him but it's the closest thing to his fur pattern I could find and it's also soft and cute and fluffy. It works

Ivy Pepper - Gray Catbird

I could've gone with practically any gray bird for Ivy since her design is so simple but...they're called CATbirds!!! And they meow!!!! I had to

Mordecai Heller - Pied Butcherbird

The only little tweak I'd make is specifically making him a pied butcherbird with luecism so that you could add in the additional white markings on his face (his eyebrows, undereyes and maybe a bit around the beak). I also think it's funny that they're called butcherbirds and his surname means butcher

Nico Savoy - Harpy Eagle

On top of the flat, ovular face and the light gray feathers on the head + the dark gray feathers on the top of the head all lining up with his anthro design, harpy eagles are FUCKING HUGE which just makes it make more sense to me in my mind. They're massive it's crazy

Serafine Savoy - Secretary Bird

It's perfect. The white and black feathers matching her fur and even the red markings around the eye?? Spot on. It speaks for itself

Mitzi May - Mourning Dove

Not sure how to explain my thought process with this other than...she's mourning Atlas. So she's a mourning dove. And the colors kinda match

Viktor Vasko - Red-Shouldered Hawk

I was torn between a red shouldered hawk and a red tailed hawk but red shouldered hawks are more primarily orange and they also have the black markings on the face that match Viktor (especially the ones around his snout)

Also not pictured here bc I got lazy but Atlas is a great horned owl, Wick is a mallard duck and Lacy is a swan :> thats all i have atm

(@themissingrainfallkingdom !!)

[ziggy-stardust-is-in-love]

musical rant rn go

goodness gracious I wrote an entire novel yesterday and it all got deleted. Whatever.

OKAY HERE ARE ALL OF THE MUSICALS I THINK ABOUT IN ORDER

Frozen: Every six year old girl was obsessed with Frozen, including me. Good soundtrack and nostalgia. I still really want my theatre to do this show, but I’m not sure which role I’d want. Elsa, Anna, Christof, Olaf? I dunno. Too many good options

Hercules: One of my favorite movies since I was little. Insanely good soundtrack and super fun characters. If my theatre did this one I still wouldn’t know which role I’d want. Hercules would be great, but Meg is so fun, but Hades is even more fun!!

The Lorax: I’m considering this a musical so shut up. This has also been one of my favorites since I was little. Fun fact: as student council president I came up with the idea of making a Lorax themed bulletin board and we did it!! 💪 I think my presidency will be remembered as year of the Lorax or something like that. We’d come in every meeting and I’d play the soundtrack while we worked, it was perfect. I ALSO WANT MY THEATRE TO DO THIS BUT ID WANT TO PLAY EVERY ROLE. THEYRE ALL SO PERFECT

Sister Act: Pretty uncommon. The only reason i really listen to the soundtrack or anything was bc I was in it. This is the first musical I ever did (I’ve done 5 now) and in this I played Monsignor O’Hara, which is a pretty great role for a first time actor. I got to dad dance a deliver cheesy lines. The soundtrack is pretty good to me, but that might just be because of the distinct memories I have with each one. Like the time the power went out during a rehearsal so everyone sat in front of the stage with their phone flashlights on. That was super fun. Or all of my friends and I playing flee the facility on Roblox. 🥹 miss all of that

Dear Evan Hansen: or however it’s spelled. I’ve only read the book and occasionally heard the songs. The book was really good and I should really learn more about the musical.

Newsies: Second musical I was in and my first big role. Jacks best friend. It was awesome!! Before auditions I went over to my friend Emma’s house. She’s the one who brought me to theatre and we were watching newsies bc we knew nothing about it. I immediately, from the very first scene, wanted crutchie. Emma really wanted Katherine. I’ll always remember Emma FaceTiming me as soon as the cast list came out and telling me we got our dream roles and we were in the same cast. That was the best summer ever.

Elf: I don’t talk about this one too much bc it’s just trauma. I simply played a background elf because of my big role last show. I had two lines 😭 We did this for some reason and I decided “wouldn’t it be just great to bring my bf (now ex) to theatre!” So I did. What was I thinking. Halfway through rehearsals he broke up with me. I had to see him twice a week and it really sucked. I’m not gonna get too far into it bc my ex literally ruined my life but anyways

Wicked: My theatre didn’t do this play, I got to see it on broadway in November. It was really great. I went in knowing nothing about wicked and I came out obsessed. I was able to get a full cast signed poster and a copy of the novel. I’d definitely want to do this production at my theater someday but I just don’t know who I’d want to be. Elphaba or Glinda? Either way great show and good soundtrack for sure

Sweeney Todd: EEE!! Okay so the show itself is incredible. Great story, good characters, magnificent music, a 10/10 show for my theatre to do. The bad part is that this was just for the older age group, which means our director put a lot of pressure on us. Ever rehearsal someone went home crying (usually me) and nobody was having fun. I actually had an incredible role because I mentioned wanting Sweeney in auditions and I didn’t realize how much work that actually was. Thankfully they gave me an even better role: ANTHONY!! Still not my favorite role, Crutchie will always have that, but it’s awesome!! Being a lovesick sailor is basically me.

Heathers: Another fun musical!! We haven’t done this at my theatre and I don’t think we ever will 😔 I personally love belting these songs when I’m home alone, but that applies to basically all of these. Also if you’ve read this far that’s impressive bro. (Also I might start a secret side blog of me singing) but that’s a secret between you, me, and anyone else who read this far

American Idiot: The Green Day musical!! The music is obviously super good and the story is a bit strange but it’s really fun to watch slime tutorials of it on YouTube. (For any of you who don’t know, slime tutorials are what we call videos filming broadway productions because they’re illegal and a way for YouTube to not take them down is if you title them “slime tutorial.” If you ever want to see a bit of a musical poorly recorded on a trash phone, look up the name of the musical and you’ll usually find some.)

Peter Pan: Honestly a trash musical. The story makes no sense and most of the music is garbage. I played a lost boy, which is basically the only fun role in the whole show. I knew all of my other lost boys well, someone of them were already my best friends, so we were just a gang of rascals. Little Shop of Horrors: I went to a local production knowing very little and I came out of this one obsessed as well!!!! The soundtrack is sooo goood and my friends and I are super close to getting our theatre to do it. I would def want Seymour, Audrey, or Orin (the dentist)

WOW TYSM FOR LETTING ME GO ON A RANT I REALLY NEEDED THAT!!!!! YAYYY!!!! I think this is a complete list but I dunno. I’ll see if I forgot something at some point

[spacetravels]

i am so unwell about dragon age and knowing u from the choices fandom i got so excited ur playing soooo what did u think of dao? da2? who did you romance and what was ur character like? how are u liking dai? got pics of ur inky? 🥺 (only if u want!! no pressure to share ofc 💖) i myself am an alistair anders solas girlie 😔

WEHHH thank you… veilguard looks so good i have to speedrun dai but man all of you who’ve been waiting since like 2014 are my heroes cuz i’m just gonna trot in like lalala… (has been here like three months)

dao is my favorite by far i think… i’m easy to please LOL it has my favorite story and i love the cast so much ;_;/ i played warrior lady cousland so i did marry alistair HUHU he’s my favorite romance across all the games but i wanna replay so bad to romance morrigan and have a diff silly little world state (trying not to think about doing this until after dav LOL) but god . HoF is just so so funny and i had so much fun…

da2!! i played blue warrior hawke <3 i liked running around kirkwall LMAO i think it was really fun to just contain the story around this one city and just hang out with my best friends 🥹 but goddamn. no one warned me about everything hawke goes thru LIKE 😭 HAVE A VACATION!!! i didn’t romance anyone though in my first playthru HAHA i kind of regret it though cuz by the end i wanted to romance isabela but i also think for my hawke i was happy to not have had a romance cuz it makes sense for my thoughts about her … like she’s just happy to still be alive and wants to do right by everyone who’s ever believed in her so she never thought about it but maybe after all gets said and done she’d seek out izzy… one of those real Slow burns in my brain heehee.. (pro mage .. btw)

AS FOR DAI !!! i’m terrible with open world games. NFKSJFKSKFKL but i sincerely am enjoying it cuz i’m following a quest guide so i don’t lose my marbles… it’s funny cuz i like. technically knew the most abt dai before playing through the games cuz [gestures at solas] but that’s alright cuz most of it has actually been a treat and a surprise :-) just not. the ending

my inky’s name is deirdre & she’s a human rogue 🙂‍↕️ i don’t have pics rn i’m at work JFKSLDK but ! kind of a little shit. it’s nice that everyone humors her stupid ass. as for romance…. blackwall…. he compels me… something is wrong with him and i like it <3

i’m close to starting wicked eyes & wicked hearts but i’ve been taking the time to explore places and do side quests stuff cuz i wanna be overleveled LOL and i need to switch up my groups more. except for varric. that’s my emotional support companion

BUT WWWWW i wanna draw my inky more & more da fanart when i’m not swamped with other projects and/or playing dragon age & fields of mistria bahahah.. i’ll remember to share more thoughts as i play 🥹🫰

[pupkinpumpkin]

BOOM PART 2 OF MY LAVELLAN ALREADY BECAUSE I AM UNWELL

I took a lotta screenshots of her, but I don't have access to that computer rn, so take one of my old playthroughs of her before I changed her a little bit

So, Lavellan basically already learned how to deal with people depending on her and looking to her for everything from being The First, so the Herald of Andraste gig is still incredibly stressful, but she's used to it

I think inherently, she's a very goofy and sarcastic person, but she has just molded herself into being very diplomatic, so that mask slowly comes off as she becomes friends with everyone

She's 25-26 at the beginning of the game

Her eyes glow green anytime she uses the mark, which I really think adds to Trespasser with the anchor freaking out so much and there just being points where her eyes are green for minutes at a time and fully green by the end before her arm gets cut off

She never had alcohol before the Inquisition so she gets drunk very fast

Whenever she is blackout drunk, she gets really good at building or fixing things. Like, she could build accessories to Bianca levels of good. But only when she's blackout drunk.

Once, when drunk, she said that running her fingers through Cullen's hair felt like petting a baby Halla's fur, something which no one has ever let her or Cullen live down

Varric is the first one to make Lavellan laugh, Sera is the first one to make her snort laugh

Immediately after becoming Inquisitor, Lavellan asks Josephine and Vivienne to teach her about The Game and Fereldan politics

Sera is the first person Lavellan tells about not believing in the Elven gods

Lavellan had a panic attack during Wicked Hearts and Wicked Minds

I like to think that, since my Lavellan is scared of fire, whenever she defeats her first dragon, Iron Bull takes her out drinking not only to celebrate defeating a dragon, but to facing a really big phobia of hers and coming out alive

I purposely have Morrigan be the one to drink from the Well of Sorrows because my Inky has enough religious trauma. Can you imagine having heavy religious guilt over never believing in your religion and then having a bunch of old dead priests from that religion in your head constantly?

Lavellan's best friends are probably Cassandra, Dorian, Cole, and Josephine (Sera and Solas are close seconds)

Cassandra because Lavellan had a big gay crush on her originally which led her to get to know Cassandra better and become very close to her, of course not in the way she originally wanted, but still. They bond out of duty to the people and raise each other up to think about their own happiness for once. Also trashy romance books.

She knows Dorian's gay from minute one and the fact that he's so unwaveringly himself really makes her admire him for being something she could never manage to be. In Dorian's personal quest, there's an option to say that Dorian was very brave for being himself and taking no shit and I really think my Lavellan means that. She hid who she was for so long and being friends with Dorian really helped her walls go down and build her self-confidence. Like, early in the game when you recruit Dorian, I like to think that with everyone else she's very nice and mild-mannered, but whenever she's around Dorian, her real personality comes out which I think confuses some of the companions at first on why she's so different with him, and some see it as them being 'together' but really they both just get each other and their struggles implicitly

(also I love the head canon that Cullen purposely plays chess with Dorian to see what his and the Inquisitor's relationship is, it's so funny to imagine)

With Lavellan being very "I need to put everyone above me and never complain", I think having Cole around would stress her out because he can feel all her hurt she tries so desperately to hide, but she learns that he just wants to help and she often joins him or helps him help others. She eventually gets comfortable enough around him to open up, but I do think she makes him promise to never make her forget anything. Then of course, since I always make Cole human, I like to think she starts playing a more active role in helping him help others since he can no longer make people forget him.

I feel like Josie and Lavellan would just vent to each other a lot. They both need to vent so much and they both have had obligations pushed on them since they were young. Josephine's side quest really pulls them together

And then of course there's Cullen and Solas. So, I romance Cullen every time. I just like him a lot. But I started thinking narratively, and now I flirt with Solas for a bit, then immediately end it after Skyhold and go full in with Cullen. The reason I do it is all very soap-opera-y

So, my thinking is that Lavellan is so conditioned to do whatever her clan wants of her. She needs their approval. Solas is a male Elven mage who she really likes and gets along well with. On the surface level, he is exactly who her clan would want her to pursue. Elven. Male. So, she convinces herself that because she enjoys his company, she must like him because that's who her clan would want her to be with. And he likes her, so, she goes along with it.

And then there's Cullen. A human templar. Just like the rogue templars who killed her lover. Cruel and malicious and evil. But he's not. He's awkward and sweet and yes he's headstrong, but he genuinely wants to reform the Templar order and he's trying to better himself. She tries so goddamn hard not to like him because liking him would be saying no to her clan and she can't. Liking him would be moving past her trauma and looking forward and thinking about herself and her wants and she can't. But she also can't help herself from spending time with him and laughing at his jokes and getting flustered when he laughs at hers.

But as time goes on she feels so bad for flirting with Solas when she doesn't feel that way about him but she HAS to feel that way about him, doesn't she? Because just like with the Elven gods, something must be wrong with her if she doesn't like Solas. So after they find Skyhold and she's in the Fade with Solas. She has to test it. She has to kiss him to see if her feelings are real. So she does. And he kisses back. And it's a good kiss. But it's not right. It doesn't feel right. Then Solas also apparently says this isn't right, so once she wakes up and goes back to talk to him, they agree to end it (She tells him later of course why she flirted with him and apologizes profusely for it, she feels horrible about it for the rest of time, but they stay good friends because they genuinely enjoy each other's company).

But with Solas gone, that means that nothing except her own insecurities are holding her back from being with Cullen. And she is shaking when she asks Cullen to go on a walk with her and she is TERRIFIED when she admits how much she likes him, but god, nothing will ever compare to how she feels after he tells her he likes her too and they kiss. And she feels so...free. She made a decision for herself that wasn't tied to her clan's wants for once. They were 100% completely her own. And she loves it. And she loves him.

Anyway, that got a little fanficy. Basically once the Inquisition ends and she's with Cullen, she is the happiest she's ever been because she doesn't have to deal with politics anymore. She definitely gets stressed introducing Cullen to her clan, but if they don't accept him, they don't accept her, and she learns to be fine with that.

Also she has four kids and a dog with him. One warrior, two rogues (one who specializes in making prosthetics), and one mage, thank you and good night!

[watermelinoe]

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but I was curious since you mentioned manga - what are some of your favorite shoujo works? Thank you in advance and have a nice day.

i have been asked this before but you have no idea how desperate i always am to talk about shoujo 😭 so i'm gonna split my recs up kinda by genre and i'll note whether it's completed or not, i'll try to include some of the more recent ones i'm reading

my fav shoujo manga is kimi ni todoke (completed), i especially love the female friendships in this manga and it's an incredible coming-of-age story, i think this one is more well-known but it deserves it!!

another well-known shoujo with a great female protagonist is of course kamisama hajimemashita (completed), i would die for nanami

something that i love abt shoujo is that the female leads may not be physically powerful but their actions shape the narrative and they are shown to be powerful because of their qualities, i think for girls you want to see girls kicking ass of course but you also want to see that girls are not passive, that they will do what they can and that their actions are powerful

my fav isekai manga, kanata kara (completed), has a protagonist like that, it's a really underrated gem that does a lot of world-building and the female lead even has to learn the language of the world she's teleported to, she can't communicate with the male lead or anyone else at the start, and i love her she's so clever and resourceful and compassionate, it's one of those "good beats evil" stories

i am so behind on it but i also love akatsuki no yona, incredible world-building, intricate character relationships and growth, it's so so good i need to get caught up, but if you like this one i also enjoyed kusanagi's other work mugen spiral (completed, short and cute demon/shrine maiden romance)

other recs: watashi no shiawase na kekkon is a cute cinderella story, colette wa shinu koto ni shita (completed but not online yet ;_;) is a touching persephone/hades style story where the female lead finds new appreciation for her life and her skills as a doctor, sayonara rose garden (completed) is a historical shoujo yuri where you really root for the couple...

isekai manhwa recs (somewhere between shoujo and josei imo) :

for better or for worse (completed) is classic shakespearian romantic dramedy imo, the miscommunications are a genre standard, it's fun and the female lead is drawn with fangs like a rough and tumble anime boy and i love that for her the villainess is a marionette, closer to josei probably, kayena is a certified Girl Boss and hellbent on revenge and she has a lady squad backing her up + devoted pretty moid a wicked tale of cinderella's stepmom, female lead is almost 40, lots of focus on the daughters coming of age and who they want to be, "cinderella" not wanting to be with the prince the villainess flips the script, i just really love judith she's so funny and she's athletic and accidentally kills a guy not-sew-wicked stepmom, snow white story, deals with misogyny and disordered eating and also it kinda looks like there's gonna be yuri on the side rn ?? two female characters confirmed to be into women master villainess the invincible, our girl is so badass.... and the original heroine is also bloodthirsty and she rocks too, also i personally think the male lead is hot tbh and usually it's just some guy to me the crow's prince is just really funny to me, how did they make that crow so expressive... and if i had a nickel for every isekai where the female lead spends a good chunk of it as a bird i would have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice but anyway the falcon princess is also a lot of fun with birds

and i'm also really into how to hide the emperor's child bc astelle is insanely cunning but the male lead does not deserve her at all

my anilist is miniblin and i have logged basically every manga i've ever read on there lol so if ur curious

[magmahearts]

TIMING: current PARTIES: @rn-zane & @magmahearts LOCATION: the grocery store SUMMARY: cass runs into zane at the grocery store and has an unexpected confrontation. CONTENT WARNINGS: implications of emotional manipulation.

Things had been tense ever since her talk with Leila. It was probably a good thing that Makaio had her phone most days; Cass wasn’t sure she wanted to see the things her friends were saying to her, wasn’t certain she wanted to begin the exhausting process of trying to determine what parts of what they said were true and what parts weren’t. Maybe Makaio could figure it out for her, could unpack it. He was probably better at untangling lies, wasn’t he? He’d probably had more practice.

Going to town seemed a daunting task. She always seemed to run into someone she knew when she ventured out of Gatlin Fields and into the more populated areas of Wicked’s Rest, after all, and she didn’t particularly want to run into anyone right now. But she’d been trying to cook for Makaio more and more, trying to make herself easier to love by learning how to make meals he might remember from home, and she needed groceries to do that. So she stood at the shelf in the supermarket, scanning the aisle and hunched in on herself just a little.

It was funny — she felt a little uncomfortable with her glamour up lately. She had gotten so used to tossing it aside with Makaio that she felt less like herself with it now when the opposite used to be true. But she knew she could hardly walk around the supermarket as a flaming lava person, so she swallowed the discomfort. She pulled a box into her cart. She started forward. And then, her cart bumped into another one, and she followed the arm holding the handle to a familiar face.

Zane wasn’t the worst person to run into, really. Cass liked him well enough and, better still, he didn’t know her as well as some of her other friends. He probably had no idea that she was acting ‘differently’ at all, and it was almost a relief. She offered him a smile. “Hey, Zane!” She greeted.

—-

There wasn’t really a need for shopping any more, seeing as every single person currently living or dropping by the house shared Zane’s… dietary restrictions. He liked the normality of it, though. Aside from work, which only bordered on normal most days, there wasn’t much in his life truly mundane. So he shopped, no list of things to buy on board, simply perusing the aisles until something caught his eye. Usually, he just left with coffee that took ages to finish and weird snacks. 

Putting back the box of cereal he’d picked up, purely to see the sugar content which he had correctly assumed was insane, Zane pushed his cart around the corner. The apologies were instantaneous but short lived as he was met with a smile on a familiar face. Well, familiar-ish. After the storm of everything that had happened the last months, it had been easy to momentarily forget the friendly fae who had helped him out that one time, along with the promise to meet up with her one day to hang. Once the memory had resurfaced, it had been a nice thought, expanding his limited friend group. Cass clearly hadn’t been on the same wavelength if the way he’d totally gotten shut down was anything to go off. 

It made the smile and bright greeting so much more confusing. “Oh… hey,” Zane replied hesitantly, pulling back his almost empty cart to allow Cass the opportunity to pass. Maybe she was just being nice because this was face to face - probably easier to completely blow someone off without having to look at them. “Sorry. Again. You can go.” Zane dragged his cart back further, questions bubbling in his chest. He didn’t mind that Cass had changed her mind about wanting to know him - well, maybe it bothered him a little - but the brash nature of her texts had been a little uncalled for. 

—

She felt a little bad that her and Zane’s plans to hang out had never quite come to fruition. So much had been going on, from the experience with Rhett months ago to the goo that overtook the town to her father’s arrival, and Cass had no doubt that Zane had been busy, too. But wouldn’t it be easier to strike up a friendship now, anyway? Zane hadn’t really known the version of her she’d been before Makaio’s arrival, the one who tried so hard to please everyone that she lost herself in the process. Zane could meet this version of her and like this version of her, and it would be proof that someone could. It would be proof that there were people other than her father who could love her, still.

Except… Zane didn’t really seem interested in that.

His greeting was flat and, immediately, the perception of rejection settled into her chest. He didn’t seem happy to see her. If anything, he seemed disappointed. And why was that, exactly? Was he close to someone else she knew? A sense of betrayal seeped into her stomach, though she had no target at which to point it. It festered instead, oozing bitterness into every person who might have poisoned her reputation to Zane. 

You can go, he said, and Cass furrowed her brow. It was short and curt and — and it was uncalled for, wasn’t it? The old Cass would have begged for his approval, would have internalized that ache. But the new Cass didn’t have to roll over and take it, did she? The new Cass had a solid foundation in the father who loved her. She could stand up for herself. “What’s your problem?” She snapped, shooting him a dark look. “I didn’t run into you on purpose or anything.”

—

Zane really had expected her to jump at the chance to bail, to be grateful that he didn’t try to drag her into some friendly small talk she clearly wasn’t interested in. Except she didn’t, looking just about as confused as he’d felt during the short but unfriendly bout of texting recently. The anger however, was completely unexpected. Zane blanched, eyebrows knitting together in a perfect display of just how badly he grasped what was going on now. “I… what?” An eloquent response, yet all he could muster at that moment, fingers tightening around the shopping cart’s handle. He was no stranger to getting yelled at, surrounded by hurt and sick and inebriated people practically on the daily but it usually helped being able to predict it. Cass lashing out in person because he was giving her the space she’d so clearly stated she wanted? 

“I didn’t think you did, I… kinda thought you’d want to avoid me?” Zane’s voice went meager at the end, quiet and hesitant. Confrontation had never been his strong suit, not without his sense of principle being offended. Cass hadn’t done anything wrong, not really. This would be so much easier if he was actually angry, even just a little bit pissed instead of just… sad. “At least that’s the impression I got last week and I… don’t think I was reading into that?” Had he? No, that was insane. He didn’t have even close to the flare for the dramatics needed to pull off getting offended over nothing. 

—-

The anger was burning in her chest now, boiling and simmering with the same heat it carried all the time now. Zane stammered and questioned her reaction, and some part of Cass was so sure it was an act. He was trying to fool her into thinking he hadn’t just been a dick to her for no reason, wasn’t he? It was the kind of thing that would have worked so easily before — this idea that there had been some forgotten conversation in which she’d implied she didn’t want to see him, this made up world in which she was the bad guy. She would have apologized to him months ago, would have accepted this false reality. But now? She was better than that.

“Is that what you thought? Is that why you never followed up on our whole ‘let’s be friends’ thing?” It wasn’t fair; deep down, she knew that. She hadn’t followed up, either, hadn’t reached out to him. Communication went both ways and, most of the time, Cass understood that. But she was angry and she was sensitive and she felt rejected. Her father’s words echoed in her ear — that, sooner or later, everyone but him would see fit to walk away from her. Hadn’t Zane ended this before it even began at all? He said something about last week, and it must have been another lie. After all, Cass had hardly spoken to anyone lately, least of all him. “You didn’t have to be a jerk about it, you know. If you don’t want to be friends, that’s fine. You don’t have to be an ass to me in a grocery store.”

—

Wait… what? If Zane had been confused before, he reached a new level at the same rate Cass seemed to be growing in her anger. Never followed up? Maybe during a time where sleep had been a necessity, during those last years of nursing school where he hadn’t properly felt like a person post 24-hour shift, Zane might have literally imagined a whole ass conversation taking place. Not now, though. Which truly begged the question of where Cass’s experience of the current scenario was coming from, and honestly, what that experience even was. 

“Cass… I am so confused right now,” he finally said once she’d let her anger out, voice vulnerable and eyes portraying something similar. “Last week, I sent you a message. Apologized for spacing out and asked if you wanted to meet up soon. I mean, I still have the messages if you want to…” Zane moved to dig out his phone, interrupted by a shopper behind him clearing their throat loudly. Blinking, brain short circuiting for a moment before realizing that the two carts were fully blocking a path into one of the isles, Zane apologized but stayed put. He didn’t want to risk Cass bolting before they got to the bottom of this - whatever this was. 

“Look, can we…” His head swiveled, eyes finding the small café near the cash registers. “Can I buy you a coffee? Or tea or anything, really. Just… I really want to figure out what’s going on.” Zane really hoped she’d agree but partly expected the anger to still burn just as bright, for her to call him an ass again and storm off. “Please?”

—

Zane looked genuinely confused and, for a moment, Cass wanted to buy it. She wanted so badly to believe that people wanted to be her friend, that she wasn’t just… some terrible thing that no one but her own father could fully manage to love. But how could she? Makaio couldn’t lie to her. Not without consequence, not without it being an obvious thing. He spoke in long and winding sentences, and none of what he said made his face twist with discomfort the way lies always did. Fae couldn’t lie. But Zane could. How could she trust that that confusion furrowing his brow was real? How could she believe that he was being honest with her when lying was so easy for other people to do? She’d been lied to so much by people she’d trusted, people who’d promised to stay only to leave anyway. What made Zane any different? 

She felt something defensive settling in as he claimed he’d sent her a message last week that she’d responded to. That wasn’t right. That couldn’t be right. Makaio had her phone, had been holding onto it for her for a while now, but just to look. Just to read through things, to learn the bits of her life that were too painful for her to say aloud. It was a kindness; he wouldn’t use it for anything but that. And — And Zane could have fake messages on his phone, couldn’t he? Something designed to confuse her, to make himself look better.

Cass took an uncertain step backwards, chest feeling tight. “I know what’s going on,” she replied, jaw set in a stubborn line. “You’re just — You’re trying to — Why are you doing this? Did someone say something to you?” Leila could have seen Makaio in her cave, she thought. Was this some attempt to make Cass doubt him? Why? Was it so hard for her friends to see her… happy and confident and loved? She gripped the cart’s handle a little tighter, heat pouring through her palms. The plastic creaked. “No. You said you wanted me to leave. You said that.”

—

Expecting the worst didn’t really do much to lessen the sting of it happening, Zane’s heart sinking when Cass took a step back. Angry, yes, but also hurt. He was picking all the wrong words and fanning the flames of the situation, not possessing the right information to know which words were the correct ones. Cass claimed to know what was going on - which meant only one of them had a clue - but the explanation for what that something was seemed harder to put into words. “I don’t even know anyone who knows you too, Cass,” he attempted, knowing full well that his arguments were likely falling on deaf ears. 

The smell hit him instantly, burnt plastic making his nose scrunch up. Shit, that wasn’t good. The impatient shopper cleared their throat again and Zane’s head swiveled, eyes narrowed in a very clear message of ‘just go around’. “I said you could leave, I thought that was what you wanted. I don’t want you to leave at all, I just want to talk.” His gaze moved nervously to the handle of her shopping cart and then back to Cass’s closed off features. “If you don’t want that, I’ll leave but…” A thought emerged, born purely from desperation and one he maybe should have pondered on before offering… Zane leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “You can do binds, right? The fae thing? I’ll tell you the truth, promise.”

—

“Everybody knows everybody in this town!” She pointed out, voice louder than she meant for it to be. Someone poked their head into the aisle, either curiosity or concern driving them to eavesdrop. Cass tried to lower her voice, tried to stop herself from causing a scene. People would probably only take Zane’s side if she did, with his wide eyes and his apologetic expression even if it was all for show. No one had been on Cass’s side in a while now; she wasn’t sure anyone ever had been. Just Makaio. Just Makaio, who told her she’d done a good job when everyone else wondered why she was acting like someone else. 

She saw his nostrils flare as the smell of scorched plastic hit them, saw the shopper behind him growing less and less patient, saw the whole world slipping away. He promised he’d tell her the truth but — Some part of Cass shied away from that, too. What if the truth was something she didn’t want to hear? What if it proved this feeling — that, no matter what, everything would be okay, that she had a father who loved her and that it meant something — wrong? She could live in a world where Zane didn’t like her. That was easy, now that she’d decided she didn’t care. Less easy would be to learn that everything she’d turned her life upside down for wasn’t quite what she’d made it out to be. “I don’t want your promises,” she replied, rejecting the bind. “You shouldn’t have to be bound to be honest with me. That’s stupid.”

—

They were causing a scene, heads turning and curious eyes sneaking glances. Zane didn’t care about the attention but he would care if Cass’s emotions got the better of her. If people saw something they shouldn’t, if it put her at risk… He released his grip on the shopping cart, deflated as the hail mary got thrown back in his face. “I am being honest,” he argued, voice raising in exasperation and making him regret it immediately. Drawing in a deep breath and exhaling slowly, Zane let the desperation and confusion fall from the forefront of his mind. It wasn’t helping, none of this was. There was a reason the hospital had to allow people to leave against medical advice if they truly wanted to. No matter how good the intentions, they meant nothing if there was no longing for them to be received. 

“I don’t know what’s going on, I really don’t. Whatever it is, I hope it gets resolved.” He’d reverted to his ‘work’ voice, just the standard one - calm, understanding and no hint of patronizing. “You have my number, if you change your mind.” Zane couldn’t help the way his face scrunched up, distaste at the complete lack of resolution. Silencing the nagging need to persist until this got clear up was hard. “Take care of yourself, alright?” It was lucky that there was nothing important in the cart, meaning he could abandon it and not have to risk running into Cass again at the registers. 

—

Was he being honest? There was a part of Cass that wanted, desperately, to believe him. She wanted to think that Zane was her friend, that Ariadne wasn’t angry with her, that Leila wouldn’t leave her, that the people she loved would stay. But hadn’t life proven that theory wrong time and time again? Didn’t she keep seeing evidence of the opposite, no matter how hard she clung? Makaio was a constant. He was a solid foundation of steady stone. She couldn’t jeopardize that for the possibility of friendship with people who, at the end of the day, were always going to walk away. Deep down, Cass had known that for a while now. So it didn’t matter, she thought, if Zane was being honest or not. It didn’t matter if he was telling the truth. If he was honest now, he’d still lie in the future. If he stayed today, he could still leave tomorrow. 

Zane said he hoped things got ‘resolved,’ and Cass felt a flare of frustration. Nothing was wrong. Couldn’t people see that nothing was wrong? She was good, she was doing good. Why did everyone have such a hard time believing it? Why couldn’t anyone just be happy for her? “Yeah,” she said, trying not to hate the way the word tasted on her tongue. Bitter and acidic, as if something as simple as acknowledgement was somehow a lie. “You too, Zane.”

She jerked her cart back, the plastic sticky with the heat of her hands. She’d needed something in this aisle, but she couldn’t remember what it was now. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe it never really had. Squaring her shoulders, she turned around in the small space, marching down to the other end of the aisle towards the exit and pretending her chest didn’t ache.

Everything was good. It had to be. Otherwise… what the hell was she doing?

[dogaquarium]

Hi!! I saw your post! Unfortunately I’m very sleepy rn and I don’t have any good ask ideas off the top of my head, but I was wondering what you were thinking of ultrakill so far? Like general vibe and thoughts, even concerns if you have any!

Hope you feel better soon! Here’s my kitty ^^ (she’s blue because sister accidentally spilled (animal safe) hair dye on her 😔)

Well, I winded up taking so long to answer these asks I got that I totally finished getting through ultrakill with my friends in the meantime! So I can give you some properly fleshed out thoughts now!

Each layer had so much character to it.... I believe the environment designs are what stick out to me most, honestly. It was really something to behold. Personal favorites had to be clair de lune, bridgeburner (from how awe inspiring the first look at the city below was), LITERALLY THE ENTIRE WRATH LAYER WOW BY FAR MY FAVE THING IN THE WHOLE GAME (specifically waves of the starless sea), and no sound no memory. Does the earthmover in itself count as environmental design considering it's whole body is a stage? I guess. Giant weapon dog horse thing. Love that guy. And the lore that went with it is crazy

Something Wicked is fucking AWESOME. I actually had a lot of difficulty seeing it on my screen when I was in call with my friends (the contrast on my computer is pretty bad, so it's always difficult for me to see anything that's even a little bit dark) but 1) the vibes were crazy anyway, 2) I watched it after the fact on my phone and could see it a lot better; it's the coolest thing ever to me that something which looks so unthreatening can fill you with sm genuine terror, and 3) me and my friends found a lethal company mod that added it as a monster and we've been using it ever since, it rocks. I generally loved all the bonus levels that deviated from the format like something wicked did, the fishing level and the puzzle level especially

Very brief rundown on enemies: I have the most beef with malicious face as do a majority of my friends fuck that guy (SIDE NOTE DID YOU KNOW IT HAS LEGS), I felt a little robbed that cerberus wasn't an actual dog, drones I don't like but I couldn't tell you why, mindflayers 🥰🥰🥰, V2 is one of my ultimate faves, and the design approach to the minotaur was super unique

Last main note I want gabriel Badly but I feel like this is something every ultrakill fan must experience so I don't feel special for it

I have more to say on the topic if you were to ask specifics, but this hits everything notable about my ultrakill experience atm I'd say. Can't wait for it to be fully finished!!!

I LOVE YOUR BLUE CAT!!!!!!! Thank you for asking star :^3

[whosmaggy]

Life and More

been quite a long amount of time since i have written a blog post. currently i am light headed and weak because i have found out that dua lipa and callum turner are engaged. i am not certain i will survive the night. anywho! today is Boxing Day! i went skating with my dear friend f, and because my brother is not using his car, i drove to the rink and then we went to tims together. im back home. i hate it. i feel so empty and awful. my mom keeps crying but idc i just want her to see that being home makes me want to die. other than that, i have been doing really well these days. been taking care of myself.

went clubbing a week ago. it was great fun i think. felt awful the next day. i think im going clubbing the week i go back. my bus ride here was good. was forced to listen to asap rocky instead of future but the god hour is one of my fave songs so idc. love ketchup.

i love doctor who. kinda disliking eyebrowless doctor. idk i miss my dear 11th doctor. he was so funny. i LOVED him and martha. my fave scene from the show is the swedish beach.

my visions of my death are coming back.

born to die is my fave album in the world. i think its Lanas best work, it isnt the deepest or her best writing, but her vocals are beautiful and it is a very cohesive piece. Lust for life has my favourite songs on it tho, its just lacking the cohesiveness that born to die has.

Went to the slushynoobz lookalike contest. It was freezing cold and i wanted to cry. i thought i would have to cut my feet from how cold they were. i lost my marting photocard so i have nothing to remember that event by. i was there with my friend h, her sister, and her cousin. We went to a textile museum afterwards. and then to a free cookie decorating thing. we had dinner at east tea can. i liked the chicken. we got nanis gelato to finish off the night. it was santas cookies flavour.

i want the Lulu bag with the side pockets.going thru my voicemail rn! crashing out rn because of callum turner.

on Monday me and my friends f and j went to the mall. I drove j from the bus stop. we got tims and snacks from dollarama. the we watched Kraven the Hunter (has said no one ever) at the cinema. it was a 5/10. not as bad as madame web, but very meh. I got my period. it hurt so badly. we 'snuck' into the theater for wicked afterwards, but only watched a few minutes cause j got scared and my stomach was hurting so much. we went to dollarama where i sat on the floor while they found me tylenol. I took 2. they really helped. we took photobooth pics and then i dropped jeslyn off and went home.

i need aaron taylor Johnson. need wingstop and chilis. need draco and hermoine together. taylor from klem family is pmo!!

On Tuesday, me and my friends h and a went to the mall. it was so much fun and i got my gift for white elephant (happening tomorrow) im so excited. i went kinda over budget but i really dont mind. i could get a reeses cup and i would be ok with that. i then drove us to our friend ds work place. she was closing tho so we went to dollarama and got kinder eggs. i drove h home and then a. i packed up my white elephant gift. so excited!! at night me, a, and f watched crime scene kitchen season 2 finale. the final 3 had us shocked and confused.

no one has been playing roblox with me :(

my Sephora cart and brandy cart r so cute i wish a had a large sum of money so i could buy everything.

after skating today, i went to the Chinese market with my mom and grandma for fish. they didnt have pickerel so we got smth else. the dude there was just hitting the fish while they were still living. dont know how humane it is but at least the fish are fresh. it was in jane and finch so i was kinda scared my car was gonna get stolen. honestly i love jane and finch, ik its one of the worst parts of toronto but i spent so much of my childhood there. then we went to shoppers. SO many things were on clearout i got some skincare and an eyeshadow palette. my mom got a bunch of chocolate for family back home ofc.

incredibly excited for tomorrow. i have been doing a crazy amount of driving these days. i have spent probably an hour on the highway this week. love it tho.

ok time for dinner and a show (facetime call with f).

love more than anything,

Maggy 🅾️

[lildoodlenoodle]

For the Hobie Brown fans here’s some black alt./punk music to try! I’m also gonna list 1-2 songs I’d start with since it can be overwhelming to pick a song sometimes!(with links for your convenience)

DE’WAYNE - Simple(ft.IDKHBTFM) or GOOD MOOD(ft.Grandson)

Dude’s got a lot of variety in his music. You’ll like at least one of his songs I promise. SIMPLE is more of a softball, I think it’s still alt. but leans more indie rather than punk. And it still amps up a bit at the end. Point is, I think it’s a really good song to start with, especially if you don’t listen to more punk/alt. music. GOOD MOOD I just think is a lot of fun, and does give spider people/vigilante vibes. In general dude also has a lot of collabs with artists most of you know: IDKHBTFM, Grandson, Sophie Powers, Chase Atlantic, Good Charlotte, etc.

Nova Twins - K.M.B(kill my boyfriend)

Ahh love them(and so does Elton John apparently lol)! Literally had such a hard time deciding what song to pick for this. I haven’t heard one of their songs that I didn’t like. They have a more electronic(?) sound in some songs, but their songs are wicked catchy and will live in your head if you listen to them more than once. I almost put Athena, Bassline Bitch, Wave, Twitch, or Cleopatra.

H09909 - Punk Police(ft.N8NOFACE)

They have a lot of good punk music, but this song screams Hobie Brown. If you like Hobie Brown pls listen to this song, you’ll understand what I’m talking about when you listen. Even if punk music isn’t your thing I’d still give this one a listen. I’ve also been listening to the album United States of Horror on repeat and it’s so good.

POORSTACY - Hills Have Eyes

Love these guys! They also got a fair amount of variety in their discography. Even got a collab with DE’WAYNE called Die Out Here. Honestly couldn’t even decide what song to put! I almost put Party At The Cemetery or Jump.

Rico Nasty - Black Punk

I guarantee you’ve heard a Rico Nasty song before. She combines rap and punk in a really cool way and has a very unique sound! I figured this song was the best one for this list, but I promise we’ve all heard ‘Smack A Bitch’ at this point, I also like OHFR and Rage. She’s got a bunch of collabs with artists like Flo milli and Doja Cat.

LustSickPuppy - Goatmeal

I only recently started listening to these guys but it’s a good vibe. The music videos are very chaotic and very creative! Goatmeal is their most known song rn and it has a very fun and fast sound. Again a little more electronic(which I don’t normally like) but it is very much a song you wanna bounce to. They got a collab with Bonnie Baxter called Bothered that I also really like.

Note: most of these are pretty basic/well known. I know nothing about music terminology or music theory, I also haven’t seen or looked very hard for anything problematic these artists have done so don’t come for me.

[loverockawaitsyou]

Random, but how I ended up in Seattle: I left a culty work exchange/commune in Los Angeles...

I will be posting in segments because it's a long, messy story that's full of nonsense that even I can't believe is real.

So, it's been about 1.5 years since I've moved to Seattle! How time flies!

I thought randomly of posting about some of the story behind my move, especially since the place I came from is close to being dissolved.

In July of last year, I left a deeply toxic, weird situation and restarted my life. While I love my life in Seattle, it hasn't been easy. I still struggle with my trauma and have only recently begun trusting people again and trying to be part of community. I've also been processing what I've been through and understanding how awful it really was. It was not normal.

Back in July 2020, I answered a sketchy ad on a sketchy site for a "live-in writer/editor." The ad promised a "free" place to stay in exchange (on a part-time schedule) for editing for one of the main bosses, a "world-renowned" sex therapist. I would be working for an old married couple. The wife was the sex therapist and her husband was her business partner, a self-proclaimed prince with no country from Italy who was also a controversial magazine publisher in the '70s. The couple had their heyday in the late '90s and early 2000s after appearing a few times on a few TV specials.

It seemed too good to be true, and it was. However, I was excited about the prospect of living in LA for "free" while pursuing my writing endeavors. At the time, I was a budding film critic, which is a notoriously low-paying career path, if it even pays at all, ha.

Over the past four years:

I moved into the community during COVID lockdown.

Went to a BDSM convention with my bosses and it was a miserable experience.

Participated in the filming of maybe three documentaries.

Upon my first visit to Seattle, lied to my bosses to get away because they almost never allowed time off except for emergencies/funerals (the Big Lie was so I could go see Stone Gossard's band Painted Shield... and see if I actually wanted to move to Seattle). At that point, I hadn't had an actual vacation since before COVID.

Close encounters with numerous stoners, junkies, and freaks.

On that note, numerous weird shroom trips.

Got involved with a guy who happened to be a wicked podcast bro and community Casanova. This was my first actual serious relationship, unfortunately.

Experienced a police raid while said guy was in my room after a hook-up. There was a small story in the local news. Pictures of my room were taken.

The main money I earned at the time, and what ultimately funded my exit was editing for an adult industry trade publication, a.k.a., I posted news articles mostly about p*rn and s*x toys.

Tried to speak out about the mistreatment I endured and was threatened with a trip to LA Superior Court.

But I went digging about and found a shit ton of other stuff including mail fraud, tax evasion, eviction records, and other s*xual crimes (really bad stuff), and accounts from former employees.

Now another current employee has been branded an extortionist for demanding her pay after months of being shafted and "squatting" until she is paid. I discovered her YouTube videos because I was following her (she hasn't updated in ages). However, she is my ex's most recent girlfriend, so things are weird. But we had a long ass conversation and I support her legal terrorism.

Meanwhile, life in Seattle is picking up!