#since it's been a while since I made Kwannon something new

[psyknife]

I am the ancient one, the many-handed, The merciful am I. Here where the black pine bends above the sea They bring their gifts to me 

                                  Peace is my raiment, mercy is my breath,                                   I am the gentle one.                                   When they are tired of sorrow and of sighing                                 I give them death. - Marjorie Lowry Christie Pickthall

//about//rules//

[synergysilhouette]

Remaking X-Men: Evolution (Season 1)

I’m a big XME fan, so much that I remade the roster (check out my other posts) and made an episode for episode remake. Here’s season 1, and make sure you check my previous post about who's on the team and what costumes they'd wear, as well as my remakes of season 2-4 and my original creation of season 5. Lemme know what your favorite episode(s) is!

Strategy X--Has short flashbacks to Xavier recruiting the other members of the X-Men (which at this point are Storm, Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Iceman), and drops subtle hints that Mystique is Kurt’s mother. This is because even if you don’t know they’re related, most people assume they must be anyway because they’re both blue. We’d also get some flashbacks into Todd and Kurt’s childhoods and see how they compare.

2. The X-Impulse--In my version, Kitty is now a part of the New Mutants, who join in season 2. Instead the episode focuses on Prodigy, who Jean saves after Graydon Creed almost discovers his secret at Bayville High. He then joins the X-Men, and we even get a glimpse into Jean’s background.

3. Rogue Recruit--Mostly the same, except Rogue and Cody kiss–not just to be comic-accurate, but also done in the emotional and traumatic way it’s done in the live-action X-Men film. It's also mentioned that Irene is a friend of Rogue's adoptive mother, and thus looks after her when her mother is away. Hints about Asteroid M are dropped at the end.

4. Mutant Crush--Vastly different, since I’ve replaced Blob with Gambit. This episode will focus on Gambit, who has been in the Brotherhood for a short time, showing Rogue how to feel comfortable with herself, and after a brief kiss, she notices that she develops a slightly flirty personality.

5. Speed and Spyke--Is also different as I’ve replaced Spyke with Iceman. Calling it Fire and Ice instead, it would be about Iceman’s budding rivalry with Pyro, eventually ending with Pyro being inducted into Magneto’s Acolytes. I also think it’d be neat to have a B-story where Bobby has a brief relationship with Simon Lasker, who can’t join the X-Men due to looking after his sick mother and “moves” (more on that later on). Bobby laments that fire and ice can never mix. Part of me wonders if this could alternatively work as a recruitment episode for Bobby.

6. Middleverse--Essentially plays out the same, though Nightcrawler takes responsibility and apologizes for his goofiness (growing wiser in the series), while Gambit consoles Rogue over her mistake. Having been trapped in the 70s for 50 years, Forge finds that a lot has changed, and he has very little family left. He goes to the institute, but doesn’t formally join the X-Men–yet. This also begins his romance with Storm.

7. Turn of the Rogue--So awesome, though I’d change it so Gambit joins the field trip (being a high schooler in my version), and while he doesn’t fight Rogue, he provides a distraction for Mystique to escape, and Rogue notes that somehow Mystique feels familiar, recalling a memory with Destiny and a mystery woman. At this point, Destiny joins the Brotherhood, living close by (or sometimes at the house when Mystique is gone).

8. Spykecam--is changed drastically, considering Spyke is nonexistant here. I'd call it Insider, and the episode has Graydon Creed become friends with Nightcrawler, though when he suspects the institute of housing mutants (peaking his curiosity), he secretly records them. Prodigy realizes that Grayson knows something about mutants, but can’t remember what it is after he’s out of range. On his way home, he loses the tape and Sabertooth discovers it in order to track down Wolverine.

9. Survival of the Fittest---Has Mojo kidnap some members of the X-Men and Brotherhood (Rogue, Gambit, Cyclops, Storm, and Toad) for his TV program, while the rest of the groups must battle Juggernaut. A young mutant is kidnapped as well, and is brainwashed to become “Psylocke." I'd probably combine Kwannon and Betsy's characters, inspired by Olivia Munn's (a half-white, half-Asian woman) portrayal of Psylocke. I'd probably keep her name as Betsy Braddock, possibly with the implication that this isn't her real name; her brother (in cameos) calls her Kwannon. The Mojoverse team eventually escapes with the help of Longshot, with Psylocke joining the Brotherhood. Longshot stays behind, with Mojo threatening to harm his son, a teenage Shatterstar (because their comic-accurate relationship is too complicated).

10. Shadowed Past--Includes Graydon Creed, who Mystique invited along with Nightcrawler to learn of his heritage. Learning that he’s the son of Mystique and Sabertooth, Graydon’s aversion/curiosity concerning mutants turns to hatred. While Mystique is trying to tell Kurt who his father is, Graydon lashes out at her while Magneto separates the group and Mystique decides it’s better Kurt doesn’t know who his father is. It’s also revealed in the flashback that Magneto sought out Mystique in Germany after she gave birth to Kurt, and when she refused to join him, he ousted her as a mutant and made throw Kurt over the ravine. Her spirit broken, she decides to join him. The reason Magneto scares her off in this version is because he fears her allegiance is faltering and that she may give away important information about Asteroid M. While Rogue and Kurt have a bonding moment, it’s hinted that Storm and Nightcrawler have feelings for each other. (Note: This contrasts to head writer Greg Johnson explaining that Magneto experimented on Kurt until his X-Gene was brought out. That felt more like a move from Mr. Sinister.)

11. Grim Reminder--Happens mostly the same, but features a cameo of Daken who intends to defeat Wolverine until he sees Nightcrawler, Storm, Prodigy, and Shadowcat, noting it’s not the right time.

12. The Cauldron (Part 1)--Forgoes the whole X-Man vs Brotherhood concept, mostly. Instead, Magneto simply brings Avalanche, Psylocke, Gambit, and Quicksilver to Asteroid M while he kidnaps Rogue, Prodigy, and Jean for their potential as well as Professor X for their friendship. Toad is left behind because Magneto sees him as useless, and his confidence in Mystique has faltered following Shadowed Past, and he leaves her behind as well to hunt down the X-Men, though she turns against him, teaming up with Storm, Nightcrawler, Iceman, and Forge. Toad follows her, and joins the group. (Note: when Cyclops joins Magneto, he wears his “Mutant Revolution” uniform while Alex wears a simple black uniform).

13. The Cauldron (Part 2)--Has Alex being a bit more cautious of Magneto and supportive of Scott and his suspicion. Prodigy and Forge use their powers to help take down the Asteroid faster, Iceman and Pyro have a face-off, Gambit and Rogue have an unspoken understanding, Magneto laments Sabertooth’s failures to kill Wolverine and states that Daken will be taking the lead against him (which works out because from here on Sabertooth has limited appearances), and Havok officially joins the X-Men.

[bigskydreaming]

thehollowprince said: And I also stand by the opinion that they could have just done a solo run of the O5 X-Men starting a new timeline with the information they got from the future.

thehollowprince said: Its not like Marvel doesn’t constantly do AUs and retcons

OMG Josh you have no idea how bad I wanted this. They could’ve done SO MUCH with that concept. Letting the 05 keep their foreknowledge and the world they could have created with that?

They could’ve averted the initial Krakoan mission and saved Darwin, Gabe, Petra and Sway in the first place. They could have all been X-Men from their Day One, Scott and Alex would have actually gotten to KNOW their brother and Gabe quite possibly would never have gone full Dark Side despite the writers apparently now seeming obsessed with the idea there’s just something innately bad within Gabe that’s always destined to bear fruit at some point, ugh, whatever, like who do you think you are, Kant?

They could’ve recruited the Giant Size X-Men lineup earlier, and saved John Proudstar, who side by side with his brother Jamie, are a force to be reckoned with. 

They could have convinced Pietro and Wanda to join them instead of the Avengers and been like no but seriously that way lies nothing but shitty storylines and bad decisions that will be blamed on you by your teammates despite the fact that any and all of the bad decisions that were ACTUALLY yours could have been averted if any of your teammates were capable of functioning as an actual support system. Come join us. We have actual support systems, except for the times when we don’t, but we recruited Deadpool to break the fourth wall and he and Logan are currently cutting through the ranks of every writer who would write as hating and fighting each other instead of being a loving fucking family goddammit.

Jean could have faced the Phoenix head-on when the time for that came, using her knowledge of the future not to fear an inevitable death, but rather to know she had nothing TO fear, that the power to not control this force, but just be ONE with it, with no NEED to control it or be controlled by it, a symbiotic union, two beings in harmony deciding on courses of action together. The Phoenix’s innate powers and prerogative of rebirth and destruction tempered by Jean’s mercy, aimed and focused by Jean’s reason, the double-edged sword that is fire capable of warming homes or destroying them completely combined with Jean’s conscience guiding it to use its power for the former rather than the latter.

They could have stopped the Legacy Virus from getting out and killing millions as well as spared us from migraines induced by an AIDS metaphor so shitty at being a metaphor most people forget it was literally written to be an AIDS metaphor.

The body swap would never have happened and Kwannon could have joined the X-Men as a full member from the time she was introduced, rather than dragged along in the wake of Betsy’s tangled storylines for a couple decades.

They could have stopped Fitzroy from killing the Hellions. Hell, if they train Illyana early enough and have her mentored by Wanda who is perfectly fucking competent when left to her own devices, then like, maybe they can even take a jaunt to the future to save Fitzroy from dying in the first place and being resurrected with no soul. Not gonna lie, ever since then I’ve kinda been seriously interested in what the hell would a hero version of Trevor freaking Fitzroy even BE like, y’know? Call it morbid fascination, but like. I kinda want it, guys. LOL.

Add to that note, they could have taken another jaunt to the future and rescued Rachel from being made into a Hound by Ahab. Through the power of some convoluted plot tangle I just made up for convenience, Scott still ends up in a relationship with Maddy briefly, in one of those self-fulfilling prophecy type things where he went into it with the full intention of just averting the future and saving Maddy from her fate as the Goblyn Queen, but somehow ended up in a love triangle with a very alive Jean and Maddy who is fully informed of Sinister’s shenanigans and quite displeased with that asshole, and look, I don’t know how all of this goes exactly, but let’s cut to the chase, my only real endgame with this is making sure that Nate’s born properly, saved from Apocalypse and the techno-virus by the combined efforts of Scott, Maddy and Jean as well as Uncles Warren, Bobby and Hank, and Jean calls up the Phoenix through some psychic bond or whatever and is like hey girl, can I hit you up for a loan real quick? Got some losers that need toasting. 

And in this AU the Phoenix totally has her back, and one brief cosmic power-up and gratuitous Sailor Moon transformation later, Jean glows and intones some epic one-liners with appropriate gravitas, and then just punts both Apocalypse and Sinister to the far side of the universe, never to be seen or heard from again. They like, hit a black hole on the way there I guess. It was very sad. Violin strings may commence with the requiem. Okay that’s enough, they can stop now.

So then through the plot contrivances of fuck you, I said so, Scott and Maddy ultimately part amicably and Scott and Jean get back together and the three of them civilly co-parent both baby Nate and Rachel, as Maddy keeps the healing powers she gained as Anodine and stays with the X-Men for her own reasons.

The telepaths are all better trained by the expertise Jean gained in her powers while in the future, so the next time the Shadow King comes bumming around looking to cause chaos, Betsy, Emma and Jean just look at each other and laugh and say nuh-uh before psychically squishing him into a marble.

Warren never becomes Archangel. Onslaught isn’t a thing. They make nice with Magneto and say okay you may have a couple points, let’s discuss. Bishop arrives in the past for reasons totally unrelated to his original story, has no traitor to seek out among the X-Men, and thus he and Gambit end up besties in complete defiance of that stupid fucking story and because I just think they’re neat together. Yes I said neat. Gambit and Bishop are just neat. Deal with it. 

Bishop still hates that Fitzroy guy though, he’s like, I don’t even know what it is about that guy, he just rubs me the wrong way, even though Fitzroy is not evil here and has always done good with his powers, which are channeled through a device Forge made him that lets him just absorb life force from a wide range around him, spread out and diluted enough that its like, the grass feels weird for a second, like whoa what even was that, and then its over. Actually, y’know what, scratch that. Fitzroy’s powers are stupid and unnecessary the way they are now anyway, so fuck it, this Fitzroy doesn’t need life force or whatever, he’s just a dude who makes time portals. He’s like Illyana with green hair and that ugly goatee. Hey I said this Fitzroy was non-evil, not that he was perfect.

Bobby’s out and proud since he was sixteen, and with actual competence and proficiency with his powers, which make him a Literal Unkillable Gay Icon, he’s an inspiration to LGBTQ+ teens everywhere and inspires other gay, bi and trans heroes to come out. He’s a big brother figure to all the baby gays that later join the X-Men, like, Rictor comes to him for advice back during the time equivalent to early X-Factor, when Rictor’s a trying-too-hard sixteen year old who thought college age Bobby was like the coolest, which is valid, because X-Factor Bobby was like A+ Bobby characterization and deserves more reads. 

So Rictor comes out earlier as well, and by the time they even meet Shatterstar, instead of a slow burn friends to roommates to lovers scenario, Rictor takes one look at the love of his life and wastes no time coming out swinging with an absolutely terrible pick up line. Look, I said his big brother figure Bobby was out and proud in this AU, not that he magically had a better sense of humor. Some things just don’t change, y’know? Luckily, Shatterstar is a weirdo, and thus he finds terrible pick-up lines charming. At least when its Rictor saying them. They walk off for a first date, already practically hand in hand, voices fading into the distance as Rictor asks “By the way, have you met Dazzler yet? According to Bobby, apparently she’s your mom. That Longshot dude with the mullet over there is your dad I guess. We should go say hi.”

Hank gets an assistant hand-picked by the rest of the original X-Men, and who has one job and one job only. To follow him around and observe all his experiments, and he has veto power over experiments that People With IQs As High As Yours Should Know Better But I Guess You’ve Got Reed Richards Syndrome.

Hank’s like, “Hmm, if I built a time machine I could go back to the Jurassic Period and observe whether my theory of - “

Hank’s assistant: “Veto.”

“Damn. Okay I was also thinking of making a deep space communicator that can reach into the farthest reaches of space beyond any known civilization and just say hi, y’know? See if anyone’s out there.”

“Veto.”

“If I combine these genetically modified antibodies here with this strain of of DNA from - “

“Veto.”

“Well Forge built this device that does this to mutant powers but I think I can make it do - “

“Veto.”

“These nanobots I - “

“VETO,”

“Honestly, at this point I think you’re just saying that just because you like saying it.”

“Dr. McCoy, I promise you, I’m really, really not.”

Logan finds out about his future clan of stabby children, and seeks them out. He rescues Daken from Romulus, somebody stabs that loser with the immortal-killing sword, I don’t even care who, and after a few tense months of Logan trying too hard, he and Daken eventually bond over how hockey just isn’t violent enough. If you’re going to make a sport all about hitting each other, just really go for it or don’t even bother, y’know? Logan claps him on the shoulder and sniffs. That’s my boy. Then they find and rescue Laura and Gabby and take a road trip to Earth 1610 to pick up Jimmy. They have a house on campus, and new students walking by it are used to hearing loud growling and even howls. They were assured during orientation that that’s nothing to worry about, it just means the House of Snikt are watching a game and are rooting for opposing sides. 

Emma’s recruited practically the day they get back. She’s only just started at the Hellfire Club and has only done a tiny bit of Evil when Warren schedules an appointment with her, and then he, Scott and Jean make a better pitch than Shaw and his ilk could ever match. They’ve been to the future. Come join with us and we’ll give you an all access pass to memories detailing exactly what’s going to happen in these particular areas and many more. All you have to do is ask. Oh and also please don’t seduce any married teammates. Its bad form. To be honest, I don’t think it’ll be an issue because Deadpool assures us Morrison has been taken care of, and don’t worry if that makes no sense to you, its a head-scratcher for us to. Just roll with it. 

Nate ages normally here so its not like he ends up besties with forty year old Wade, but the latter having his own plot-contrived knowledge of the future because He’s Just Like That, decides that he won’t be denied at least SOME kind of bond with The Bestie That Wasn’t. He becomes Nate’s official babysitter. Well, not official, seeing as how Scott, Jean and Maddy don’t hire him and are very clear that their son is not to be left alone with this man at any time, he is a terrible influence and he keeps giving our kid guns. But then Wade just shows up anytime they’re out because he just has a sixth sense for Making Trouble, and he terrifies away whatever babysitter’s there and greets the returning and exasperated parents with a cheery wave. 

“I know what you’re going to say, but don’t worry, we didn’t do anything dangerous or against the law. All we did today was I taught him to make bombs, but we were very careful, we wore safety goggles and really, they were very little bombs. Not even anything atomic. I honestly don’t think any of them could have even blown up this whole house, and I’ve been meaning to say, I’m not impressed with the structural integrity of this place. Couldn’t you have picked something with a sturdier foundation? Its like you don’t even expect random space mercenaries to attack your place out of the blue every other month. Have any of you even read a single issue of your own comics?”

Scott’s jaw twitches Ominously. Wade starts gathering up his things. Jean rubs her forehead wearily.

“Wade, what do you even think ‘dangerous’ means?”

Wade pauses and cocks his head. Gives it a solid twenty seconds of thought. Then he shrugs. 

“I don’t know actually. Don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it. I always figured it was just one of those things people just say. Like, ‘oh, it looks like rain today,’ even if they’re not a forecaster and have no real meteorological credentials to speak of. ‘Oh, this mission will be dangerous,’ and I don’t even have to use up all my ammo and I only get shot twice. Y’know?”

“Leave,” Scott says. More like intones. House shakes a little bit but that might just be Wade’s imagination. Its very active.

“Leaving!” He says hastily. He jumps through the closed window and then teleports away amid the falling shower of broken glass. Why didn’t he do that while he was still inside the room? No one knows. Not even Wade knows. Why did the chicken cross the road? Who the fuck cares, now is it Original Recipe or Crispy?

Scott, Jean and Maddy search the house while Nate angelically claims they won’t find anything, Wade doesn’t even bring him cool stuff anymore cuz he knows you’ll just take it.

Maddy finds a high-tech laser space gun under a floorboard in the closet. She holds it up with one eyebrow raised pointedly. Scott and Jean flank her and their own eyebrows raise in solidarity. Well Jean’s does. Scott’s probably does but its hard to tell sometimes. Depends on what glasses or visor he’s wearing.

“That was already there,” Nate tries. Most powerful telepath and telekinetic in the world, but the kid can’t lie for shit. There’s not much point in trying when one of your moms is the freaking Phoenix, and that’s a skill that takes practice he just doesn’t have. 

The three sets of parental eyebrows make a V, judgingly.

“One month of no video games or TV?” Okay, so terrible liar but quick on his feet. At least he knows when he’s beat and jumps straight to trying to shape his own punishment proactively.

“Two months. And no flying lessons either,” Jean says. “And don’t pout at me, young man. You know the rules. No weapons inside the house unless your grandpa Corsair is visitng and we’re too tired to fight him on keeping knives under his pillow. This is a Do As We Say, Not As We Do house. Deal with it. Now, this is going with the others and you can have it back when you’re eighteen.”

It would have been three months, but Jean and Maddy caught a telepathic sniff from Scott. He’s just so proud of his kid thinking so tactically. He’s growing up so fast. Both women mentally roll their eyes. Why is he like this.

“I don’t see what the big deal is anyway,” Nate sulks. “Its just a stupid laser gun. I mean, Uncle Gabe blew up our last house with his brain.” 

“Yes and it was an accident and he feels absolutely terrible about that which is why we’re not going to bring it up when he and Armando come visit this weekend, right?”

“You can have my full compliance for two weeks off my sentence.”

“Or we can have your full compliance or two weeks will be added to your sentence,” Maddy says.

“You guys suck,” declares the ten year old vessel of near unlimited psychic might. He goes to his room, stomping all the way up the stairs so his grievances can be heard even by the House of Snikt next door. Course, they’ve already been listening to the whole thing with their enhanced hearing. There was nothing good on TV. Jimmy made popcorn and chewed with his mouth open just to piss off Daken. 

‘The second Father leaves the room, I am going to stab you in such a slow healing place you’ll still be bleeding at bed time.’ Daken mouths at his little brother from another universe. Jimmy scrunches his face in confusion. 

‘What?’ He mouths back. He’s terrible at reading lips. Or anything that isn’t skateboarding, really. And yet Father’s so happy that ‘at least one of my kids is content with stupid normal stuff and doesn’t go around drawing cover fire just because a mission is going so well its boring and they haven’t even gotten to pop their claws out yet.’

“That’s only because you’ve coddled him. He’s barely ever even been shot at. Just the one time on vacation in Majipoor and he wasn’t even the target, the assassin was aiming for me. If you would just let me take him on a proper outing to gain some real experience - “

“Not gonna happen.” Logan shuts that down real quick.

“Really Father, just look at him. He has zero situational awareness. I’ve been glaring a hole in the back of his head for a full minute now and he has no idea. That could just as easily be an actual laser scope, you know. He’s a disgrace to the whole family.”

“Daken, we’ve been over this,” Logan says firmly. “You have your sisters to bond with over gratuitous violence. Leave your brother alone. I don’t want anyone traumatizing him until trauma finds him all on its own. It’ll happen sooner or later, he’s as much a part of this family as anyone and that means its as good as done already, so there’s no need to hurry it along. If later on he decides he’s got a taste for it, you can take him on all the outings to get shot at that you want. But he’s gotta figure it out for himself first, and he doesn’t need his big brother being the one who introduces him to all that. He idolizes you, you know.”

Daken scoffs. He can’t even get the brat to chew with his mouth closed.

“He cut his hair from that style he liked so much, just because you hated it so much,” Logan says obliviously. Daken nods like he’s conceding the argument and hastens from the room while he can still keep his mouth shut. It won’t benefit anyone at this point to tell their father that Jimmy really only cut his hair because Daken told him he would set it on fire if he didn’t. 

Ugh, families are the worst. Don’t even get him started on Laura stealing some of his clothes to wear without asking. And then has the gall to yell back at him when he yells “Silk! Its the finest cut of silk! Does that mean nothing to you?” at her.

“Oh get over it. Its not like I asked for killer robots to interrupt my date.”

“Of course they were going to interrupt your date with that Julian boy. I keep telling you, he’s a magnet for trouble. I can tell. I’m one too, remember?”

“Fine, whatever, you’re right and I should just expect every date with Julian from now until the end of time to end with fire and disaster.”

“Well now you’re being melodramatic. There’s no way that boy makes it past twenty five. He doesn’t even have a healing factor.”

“Why do you hate him so much anyway? If you’d just give him a chance - “

“What are you talking about? I give him a chance every single time he’s here and I don’t kill him.”

“Ugh, I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this. You always do this, you just decide on something and then you commit to that like the fate of the world depends on you standing firm on what’s usually a completely arbitrary decision in the first place!”

Daken sniffs. “I can assure you, there’s absolutely nothing arbitrary about my disdain for the Keller boy.”

“His name is Julian,” Laura enunciates with a glare.

“I don’t care,” Daken enunciates with an expression of lofty superiority.

“You two are so dumb,” Gabby says from the end of the hallway. They both turn identical glares on her. They’d noticed her arrive several minutes ago but they weren’t about to be distracted from their battle of wills. “Laura, you know Daken isn’t actually going to kill Julian. He doesn’t do that anymore except for really bad people sometimes and he just talks about stabbing people or killing them cuz he thinks he’s funny and then he gets all pissy because nobody ever gets that he doesn’t really mean it. He doesn’t even hate Julian and he used to be fine with him before he started dating you, its just he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.”

Daken frowns at the petite would-be peacemaker. Meddlesome toddler. “What are you even babbling about? None of that is remotely true.”

Gabby rolls her eyes up at her brother from her much lower height. She taps the side of her nose with emphasis. “You do know we all have the same abilities to smell and analyze scents as you do, right? And you know everything you can tell from peoples’ scent, right? Of course I’m right, I can smell it as clear as anything and so can Jimmy and Dad and we actually all know this and talk about it all the time, and its why Dad never actually gets mad at you for talking about killing people because he can smell you’re saying it just cuz you’re used to saying it but really you’re too marshmallowy on the inside now to do half the stuff you claim you’re gonna do. Hate to break it to you bro, but you’re a closet softie and you’ve been made. The nose doesn’t lie. Only reason Laura doesn’t know it is because you piss her off like its your favorite hobby and its probably impossible for her to smell anything beyond her own scent of Royally Pissed Off.”

Ugh. Meddlesome insightful toddler. Who asked for her intervention anyway? Daken crosses his arms in a way that’s decidedly aloof and not at all sulking.

Laura’s staring at their sister assessingly. “That’s really what you think is going on? And Jimmy and Dad think so too? You’re not just saying all that?”

Gabby bats her eyes up at them. “Would I lie to you?”

“Yes,” Laura says without missing a beat.

“Without a shadow of a doubt,” Daken says dryly, right on her heels.

“For the sake of a candy bar,” Laura adds, because that really did happen.

“Or just boredom, because god forbid you pick up another hobby that isn’t just Chaos.”

“This from the guy who only has fun when there’s blood and bullets flying about,” Gabby fires back from a position of petite petulance.

Daken smirks down at her. “Didn’t you just say I don’t really mean it when I say all of that?”

Gabby narrows her eyes. “Touché. My own words thrown back at me. I am undone.”

“Yes, well - “

Daken’s cut off as Jimmy chooses that moment to walk past them down the hallway to the bathroom. He’s laughing and shaking his head.

“You guys are both so dumb. She plays you like this all the time, and you never see it.”

“Silence, mortal!” Gabby thunders at their brother menacingly. The effect is somewhat diminished by the fact that she can’t hit a baritone note to save her life.

“No, I’m interested in hearing what he has to say,” Daken says coolly. “For once. This is a moment without precedent and one unlikely to occur again, so let’s explore it a bit.”

Jimmy sighs and shakes his head without ever losing that amused smirk. “Had to tack on that last part, didn’t you. Just couldn’t help yourself.”

“I am a faithful student of the Truth,” Daken says, matching his brother smirk for smirk.

“The point, Jimmy?” Laura prods aggressively before that can erupt into a wholly separate thing she wants no part of.

“Oh, right.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Its kinda her thing with you two when you get like this. You pick a fight with Laura, Laura gets pissed off and succumbs to the family curse of Tunnel Vision at the Worst Possible Time, and you both go back and forth endlessly and like you have all the time in the world for your stupid tete a tete, because on account of you both being practically unkillable and immortal, you kinda do and you know it. And then whenever she gets bored of listening to you two, Gabby swoops in and draws both of your attention until you’re both so focused on being annoyed with her you don’t even realize you’re actually side by side agreeing with each other, and she keeps it up just long enough til she’s sure she can just say she’s bored now and just leave the room, leaving you both annoyed and frustrated by a fight you can’t even claim to have won because she really just kinda...left, in the middle of it, and you’re so focused on that, you’ve totally forgotten to be pissed at each other. And by the time you do remember, like, the moment has passed and peace has been returned to the kingdom. Or at least as peaceful as this place ever gets.”

Daken stares at his mistake of a brother in the hopes that if he stalled long enough, his senses would arrive at a different conclusion. But nope. Scents don’t lie, unlike baby sis, apparently. He’s telling the truth. And Daken really does not....care for that conclusion.

Gabby stamps her foot and glares up at their brother.

“You are such a tattletale. I am providing a service, by keeping this family free of these two constantly at each others throats, and how is that service repaid? With betrayal! I hate you, you’re dead to me. Never speak to me again or at least not until I’ve stopped being mad at you, but that could be like ten years or something, I don’t even know right now.”

She draws up to her full height and squares her shoulders as she thunders this Mighty Mouse style at the still laughing Jimmy. Then, seeing she’d yet to make a dent in his armor of amusement and he was failing to take her pronouncement seriously, she punctuated her declaration by spitting on their brother’s shoe. Daken’s eyebrows shoot up again, this time in amusement of his own. Gabby then spins around on her heel and stalks off down the hallway, muttering more dire threats under her breath as she goes, the sound of them nonetheless carrying clearly to three siblings with enhanced hearing of their own. And apparently, little sis could be quite creative. Who knew she’d been hiding such talent?

Jimmy barely even notices; he’s still staring down at his shoe.

“Dude, you spit on me! That’s so not cool.”

“Some things need to be expressed so strongly, mere words will not suffice,” Daken says loftily, savoring a slightly renewed sense of superiority.

One quickly dashed, of course, because apparently he just can’t have anything.

“Bold words from the seventy year old who needed the sixteen year old to clue him in he’s being regularly manipulated by the twelve year old,” Jimmy fires back. As a return volley, its obnoxiously effective, and Daken’s still grinding his teeth and searching for an adequate rejoinder as Jimmy just grins even wider and then strolls off down the hallway as well. Whistling either an absolutely hideous song or else proof that he’s absolutely hideous at whistling. Tough call. With him it could be either.

Daken and Laura both stare after him in silence as he rounds the corner and disappears, leaving only the lingering scent of smugness in his wake. Daken hates the scent of smugness. It has a particularly....cloying feel to it. Well not his of course. But everyone else’s, especially little brothers? Acrid is the only word adequate for that.

“Sometimes I really do want to stab him. Just a little bit. And I’m not even lying,” Daken says. Laura just nods, her own nose scrunched up in distaste as well.

“Honestly? Me too.”

Brother and sister enjoy the rare moment of solidarity.

“You know what’s really bugging me?” Laura says suddenly, still staring off down the hallway. Daken turns an inquiring eye on her, prompting elucidation. She frowns.

“Where the hell did he learn a phrase like tete a tete? I mean. Its Jimmy.”

Daken does know what she means, and frowns as the nagging awareness of that leaps from his sister to himself like memetic chain lightning.

“And he used it correctly. That’s....unexpected.”

“Sometimes I wonder if maybe he’s not as completely airheaded as he pretends, and the fact that he’s got everyone so convinced of that actually means he’s running circles around the rest of us,” Laura says. She shrugs. “Of course, then I have to question everything and who has that kind of time and also the very idea of genius mastermind Jimmy disturbs me on a deeply visceral level. So then I just. Stop doing that.”

Daken nods and sighs. “Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”

“Okay, this is annoying. I kinda still want to fight, but now fighting with you feels kinda anticlimactic. Ugh, siblings are the worst,” Laura declares with a glower. “They ruin everything.”

“On that, we can agree. With allowances for temporary occasions of some of them being bearable,” Daken says. “Some.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve never said to me, big brother,” Laura says lightly. Daken swiftly scowls but she holds up a hand to forestall any rebuttal. “Sorry, don’t mean to ruin the moment. I’m thinking about how else we can put all that frustrated energy to good use. Wanna go pick a fight with the Summers’ kids?”

A slow smile spreads across Daken’s face. “Well now. Finally, a family outing I can get behind. I believe that’s precisely what we need right now. Care to lead the way?”

He still hates her boyfriend, of course, but he supposes he can let that be. 

For now, at least.

[popculturebuffet]

Excalibur #1: “The Accolade of Betsy Braddock”

As the magic of Krakoa seeps into Otherworld and puts Morgan Le Fay in a genocidal mood, Betsy Braddock tries to find her place in the new world while also dealing with her idiot brother.. but you know instead of Paul Rudd she has a reality warping man child with mental instablity. Meanwhile Apocalypse adopts an unprouncable name and a new misson statment as a wizard man, Gambit suppresses the urge to kill him and Goldballs tries a new somehow even worse name out.

Welcome back. Due to yesterday being kinda nuts, and the last review being more taxing than planned, this one is kinda late. But better late than never as dawn of X continues it’s win streak with Excalibur, back and better than ever. And thankfully this time, the exposition is all really easy to bake in as we go compared to my last few reviews, so without any delay, it’s time to forge the sword once again. This is Tini Howard and Marcus To’s Excalibur.

We open on a long info page revealing that when Xavier gave his big “While you Slept the world changed” or, to put it more acuratley “All I wanted was to love you , to help you to save your asses and all you did was either try to kill us, look away while others did, or make a token effort at best to help. Fuck you, we’re taking what’s ours bitches. “ speech, Apocalypse gave his own, in a sense telling Humankind “Magic is ours to take back now.... “

We cut to the present where Morgan Le Fay is in Otherworld, basically the court of king arthur, the source of Captain Britan’s power, and a realm created by the british public’s collective subconscious. I don’t get it either. But Morgan Le Fay, Arthur’s evil sister and long time pain in the ass of the Avengers in the 616, has taken over in his absence and nearly drowns one of her minons upon finding something in her well.. a weed affecting it.. and since the x-men have a plant motif and apocalypse made a big MINE NOW speech to the rest of the world.. it’s easy to see Krakoa’s involved. Nice work Apocalypse, your on Krakoa one week and you’ve already pissed off the neighbors.

After the opening titles, we cut to Braddock Academy, basically the british version of Xavier’s and Avengers Academy and unsurprisingly a pet project of Brian’s. Since the school is also the Braddock ancestral home, Betsy’s been crashing here while sorting things out after getting her original body back. Yeah for those of you not that familiar with Psylocke, which I am not but know at least this much, was body swapped with the Assian Kwannon. That was reversed shortly before Dawn of X, which in order to help smooth the transition has given each their own starring roll. And really it is an intresting thing to explore: Betsy spent 5 or 6 years in a body that was not her own, living her life, loving, and doing bloody awful things in the name of the greater good. So it’s no suprise being put back in her old body after all this time and the implications of having basically lived her life in someoen elses skin with the other person now having it back and being understandably pissed about it, having only not gotten it back sooner due to dying of the Legacy Virus. Thankfully this issue dives deep into it and we’ll explore it more as we go.

The child loudly complaning is Margaret, Brian and Meggan’s daughter. Margret is one of the few things Mark Guggenheim’s run on X-Men did that was all that intresting as, probably thanks to a combination of her dad’s magical man juice and her mom’s already shifting genetics, can already talk in full sentences and comprehend stuff at the tender age of 1. Betsy is of course heading to Krakoa but much like Kitty last week, she’s unsure. But it still works: Kitty was unsure because Krakoa, for whatever reason, basically rejected her and staying would just make her a ghost again. For Betsy, she’s gone from living in a stranger’s body and back again and is understandably frazzled and unsure of tommorow.

But as Brian escorts her to the portal on his property, a touch I like as Meggan is a mutant herself and Brian is a longtime ally so it makes perfect sense to put a portal down there both for his mutant students to depart and for Meggan to visit without having to leave her husband behind, he encourages her. This is something I love about the issue: most x-runs I see betsy in kinda forget she has a brother and Uncanny X-Force turned him into an asshole. Here, their close bond and past, she was a supporting character in his book first after all, is shown beautifully as Brian , while happy to have her back, wants her to move on with her life and knows she’ll do great. 

As also seen above Betsy wishes their brother could join them though Brian isn’t so sure. I didn’t really get into Jamie in the other review, and i’m pleased as punch to get here there. Jamie is their older brother.. and also has schizophrenia and the power of god, two tastes that instead create a rancid punch that threatns all life as Jamie dosen’t think anything else is real. Despite this, Betsy wishes he’d be there to see it and hopes it’d make him better. After all if Apocalypse can find a new start here why not him? They literally have worse people on the island.

Speaking of the devil, after Betsy makes her awkward entrance, we cut to Apocalypse who’s of course standing out a window watching everything meancingly, because even when he’s on the good guy side and no longer plotting horribly Darwinian crimes.. he’s still a super villian deep down and old habits die hard. He’s visited by Trinary, a fairly new x-character introduced in X-Men Red, she’s a technopath, as well as one of the brain trust running Krakoa’s computer network. Also as you can see apocapse want’s to be called by his weird Krakoan name.. i’m just going to stick with Apocalypse as I assume it’s the same thing and even Tini Howard herself has flat out admitted she dosen’t have a translation for it and just scripts him as Apocalypse still. He also gets dagger eyes from everyone’s faviorite Cajun as he makes his villianous rant.

Remy does however have more reason than most to hate the man: He was one of Apocalypse’s horseman once: he attempted to go under cover, but underestimated how good the horseman process was and would up having to go to Mr.Sinister of all people to get himself back to normal. So yeah, having the guy who turned you into a monster that tried to kill your future wife, KINDA makes you not willing to have a ham sammich with the guy.  Trinary came to fetch Apocalypse to check out a new gate that opened.. to otherworld.. the problem is Morgan sealed it, and thus Apocalypse , not being a moron, decides they need “a champion” to break it. And since Hercules is on a three month no pants cruise of the bahamas right now, he’s going to have to be less literal about it.  Meanwhile MOrrigan is an asshole to a coven of sorcerers decreeing that they failed her by.. letting mutants exist. Yeah the one weakspot I have with the book thus far is the opening villianess: Morgan Le Fay simply isn’t that intresting and while she’s had a good storyline or too here she’s pissy because.. mutants found magic again. It isn’ t a terrible motive but her steroptical villaness “take my anger out out my minons” stuff is just tiresome and not at all entertaining. She’s the right level of threat for this book, just not fleshed out about enough and is the one real dry spot in this issue. 

Back on Krakoa, Betsy runs into Kwannon and it’s.. about as awkard as you’d expect as you can see.. and really isn’t helping Betsy’s unease. And I actually, despite not having read a ton of comics with Betsy in them get why she’s so uneasy besides the obvious problems of having the woman whose face you stole around all the time: she has no idea what to do. Everyone else on Krakoa, for the most part at least, is fully on board with the new plan, rairing to go. Sure some understandably object to their old foes being there… but theirs a sense of optimism and wonder and happy.. that just dosen’t go with someone who has so much blood on her hands she looks like she took a guys heart out with her bear hands, is in a body that hasn’t been home in years, and has to look the person who’s body she stole, intentional or not, and didn’t put any effort into bringing back from the dead or once she was back giving her her body back in the face. She’s just not in a great place. Thankfully even if her old pal Jubilee dosen’t pick up on this she does get Betsy could probably use some booze. Unfortunatley pressing matters keep her from finding out if krakoa can pour mimosa’s directily into her mouth via some kind of hose bush:

It’s your pal and mine goldballs, one of the five mutants able to raise the dead (but the car is fine). Or Egg I guess but I’m not calling him that. For one goldballs is a far better name just for the ridiculous factor. For another, just call yourself goldeggs. It’s still dumb but egg is somehow dumber. Even add a Z if you want no one cares. Your one of Krakoa’s own personal jesus’. You could rip a person’s throat out and no one would care… though granted that’s also because death is now meaningless for mutants. But yeah as you can see he has a problem and it’s Jamie.

And yup Jamie is back, alive and while not trying to kill everyone, is still kind of a weird asshole. Also I do not want to know what he did in there but I presume he fucked at least one person. Maybe he made them out of thin air, maybe they just came in. Maybe Sinister decided why not. Either way he’s fouling up the pods, and soon puts his foot in his mouth by saying Betsy’s classic look reminds him of better times right after their parents died. However in a nice little character bit he quickly apologizes, showing he has genuinely changed thanks to his resurrection on some level, and admits that the real reason is because they were all together then and all happy. As for why he’s a nusiance, it’s simple: while ressurectees DO need time to recover from you know, the whole being dead thing, it usually takes about ten minutes for the shock to wear off. And while there’s clearly no shock left Jamie is just farting around. Betsy’s response is to treat him like a ten year old. 

It..actually works.. but unfortunately Jamie has about as much intrest in seeing Brian as Brian does in seeing him. And I see why: before he went insane, Jamie was still a supervillian and still hunted brian out of jealousy, while Jamie.. is just kind of a dick. He’s like Krakoa’s own discord: he’s not an apocalyptic godlike threat to the world any more but he will fuck with you just for cheap laughs. Betsy tries using her telepathy to force him to go but Fabio stops her, as it upsets the eggs apparently and decides to drag Brian here, something even Jamie can see as a bad idea. And when the naked man whose been back for all of 5 minutes can see the holes in your plan, maybe you rethink things. But I also get why Betsy is trying so hard at this: She has almost no stablity left and Brian has been her rock, past and present. But Jamie is still her brother and now has the potetinal to do good and while still a loon, is no longer a genocidal madman and is stubbornly refusing to reconcile because he’s decided to swear off humanity. She just wants her family whole and her brothers not trying to kill each other, but is in too bad a state to recognize they need time and may NEVER get along. it’s how it is with family. Dosen’t mean she has to choose one or the other. Brian wouldn’t make her and frankly Jamie isn’t dumb enough to try that.  Thankfully apocalypse interupts Betsy’s extrodinarly bad plan to ask her about the gate.. and point out that Brian himself would be the best way and that, even as a half human, he’d be welcome here in this crisis. He probably get some leeway since apparently the captain britan thing makes him half otherworlder and he is a cosmic champion versus just some joe who wants to enjoy a paradise he hasn’t earned thorugh hard work or nearly dying a bunch. 

Betsy heads to Braddock Manor where Brian is already planning on going to Otherworld to fix this and is naturally not all that inclined to listen to Apocalypse. So as seen above Betsy goes with plan B: She’s going with him even if it’s a trap because fighting alongside her brother doing the right thing is better than moping around an island trying to dodge Kwannon. This also gives me a nice opprotunity to bring up Betsy’s approach to their former enemies. She’s far more accepting than the rest, even Logan outright objected, but I also easily get why: She’s former black ops, having served on one version of X-Force and lead the one right after it. She understands the need for pragmatism and is a pragmatic person. It’s probably why she’s so willing to forgive Jamie: yeah he did terrible things, but at his worst he was mentally ill, and as established by X-Men #1, Krakoa has terrific healthcare and telepaths and empaths to help him work through his issues. He may not WANT to of course, but he’s more likely to and him slowly improving in paradise is better than her brother just being dead to her as a genocidal mad man.  They encounter Morgan who, being basically a 50′s disney villian, expects Brian as otherworld’s champion to start drowning his own sister.. because fuck subtley. 

Back on Krakoa we meet up with Rouge and Gambit. As a tiny bit of exposition for you lapsed ex fans the two are now married. The two reconciled in the excellent Rouge and Gambit mini series, hashing out their long and messy history. Then X-Men gold happened.. see there was SUPPOSED to be a wedding of Colosus and Kitty.. but their reconcilation was so terribly forced no one wanted the wedding and editoral had gambit, of course, steal The Wedding. So the two are in a happy place, though Rouge dosen’t want to use her power dampener on paradise, understandable as said dampener is a repurposed anti-mutant thing and it’d be like brining a pile of nazi gold as your present to a jewish wedding. Rouge then decides , as shown above ot bring up the idea of having kids but before Gambit can say “of course”, Trinary summons them for apocalypse. Apocalypse needs Rouge as he figures her absoprtion power might allow her to serve as a gateway, and a way to retrieve Betsy. Remy, Understandably, dosen’t want her to do this But Rogue is willing to take the risk to save her friend. Remy , now tenativley on board, suggestings bringing in Jubes since she was the last one to talk to Betsy, but A-Train is way ahead of them. 

Naturally, having talked to her all of one sentence, she has nothing. Also curiously apparently Apocalypse wanted Jubes to bring her son, adopted if you didn’t knokw about him, Shogo with her but shockingly she didn’t want to bring her son to see the scary blue man who had no trouble trying to do a murder on a child when she was younger. However Apocalypse really needs her as a bridge between minds: Rouge will touch the portal to break through it and Gambit will keep watch and is all too happy to. As a side note i’d lvoe to see apocalypse babysit “So you see small infant, after that I cleaved the flesh off his skull and put said skull on a pile as a warning to my enimies. You always want to get the flesh nice and clean off.. .the bits create more of a smell and you need to think of the smell. Speaking of the smell I think someone needs a changie!” 

I would too, but i’m pretty sure Remy would be a ground smear, but I think Apocaypse does respect his willingess to try anyway even if he dosen’t take gambit serious as a threat. 

Back in crazy magic lady town Morgan is slowly corrupting Brian, and despite Betsy’s best attempts to stop it, is quickly turned into a warped dark knight who’s trying to shove the amulet of right in her face for some reason.

But with Apocalypse plan in motion, she figures out what’s going on and destroys the portal.. unfortuantley for Rogue this causes to feel weird and then well.. this is the end result.

What exactly the fuck dosen’t even begin to describe this.

Back in King Arthur’s House, Trinary’s words not mine, Betsy tries to kick Morgan’s ass but Dark Brian blocks her… before the above happens.. and it’s clear WHY he was cramming the amulet down her throat... Morrigan has full control of him, he can’t do anything to stop her.. but he can pass it on so she can hopefully stop her or , if he can’t be freed, destroy him before he harms anyone else. He sends her back to the real world as Betsy wails> This scene is damn powerful, as we’ve seen before Brian was one of the few people who understood she was going through some shit and offered her his full support... and now he’s gone, no idea how to rescue him, leaving a wife and daughter behind. 

Back on Krakoa things arne’t much better wirth Rouge int he flower cocoon I showed earlier and Gambit ready to blow Apocalypse’s head off.. and as you can see Apocalypse is like “Fine i’ll come  back from it stronger, but can you please wait? We’ve got a lot of shit going down. But before Apocalypse can pound Remy into a Cajun Corpse, the assembled group is distracted by a returning Betsy. 

And so we end on Betsy, now fully crowned once again as Captain Britain, wondering what the fuck is up with Rogue. We get a quick Epilogue where one of the covern from earlier joins a cult based on the same one related to apocayplypse and we’re out. ‘Final Thoughts: Excalibur #1 is a good start. While some things don’t quite gel, Otherworld isn’t explained at all for those who have never heard of it (raises hand), it feels fresh and makes me invested in Betsy’s struggle, the tragedy Brian goes through, Remy’s fury and Apocalypse, who for once gets to serve as a wise sage instead of a warrior and it’s an intresting role for him, as well as him clearly being set up to mentor Betsy as she rises higher than ever before with her new role. It makes you want to see what comes next and the only real drawback is that Jubilee is basically a tagalong while Rictor is entirely absent, but both I suspect will be fixed with time. As fhte first part of a story, and the first Dawn of X Comic to be part of an arc since the two mini series that launched it, it works well setting things up. As I said the comic suffers from a lack of exposition on Otherworld and from a weak villain, but it’s not enough to distract from this fun, well crafted fantasy and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Until next time, hail to the queen baby.  

[newx-menfan]

SDCC 2019 X-Men

Can I just say that I LOVE how Marvel is apparently taking names of Classic X-Men teams and more or less completely ignoring the original premises of the books? 

Excalibur- A team, that while it HAD some American characters (Kitty, Rachel...) - was mainly X-Men from the UK or Europe (Cap. Britain, Nightcrawler, Pete Wisdom, Meggan, ect...)... 

Whose part of the new lineup? 

Rogue (Deep South Mississippi) , Gambit (Louisiana) , Jubilee (California) , Rictor (Mexico), and Apocalypse (Egypt)...

Only British Character is Captain Britain/Psylocke/Betsy Braddock....

New Mutants- For the Most part New Mutants IS 100% the original New Mutants, with the additions of Chamber (apparently everyone has decided to collectively ignore Rosenberg’s Uncanny in the X-Office...), Mondo, and the Space Jammers....

The Marauders- Originally the Marauders were a group of mutant assassins, criminals, and killers who’ve pop up pretty regularly since the ‘Mutant Massacre’.

Some popular members have been: Harpoon, Malice, Scalphunter, Gambit, Mystique, Vanisher, ect...

Whose part of the new lineup?

Kitty, Emma, Storm, Pyro, Iceman, and Bishop.

While I guess you COULD ARGUE Storm is a thief, Emma WAS a criminal, and Bishop DID try to kill Hope once....

This feels REALLY weird to name an X-Men hero team after a group that...massacred a bunch of homeless mutants living in the sewers of New York..

Fallen Angels-Originally a spin off of New Mutants, that was basically ‘the Runaways’ of its time and featured characters like Gomi, Bill the Lobster, Ariel, Chance, Sunspot, Warlock, ect...

Whose part of the new lineup?

So far it looks like Baby Cable, X-23, and Kwannon....

There’s NO HINT ANY OF THE ORIGINAL MEMBERS are returning....

While X-23 DOES FIT the premise if you’ve read NYX and MAYBE KINDA Cable...this seems RATHER DIFFERENT from a book about rebellious teens...

X-Force-

A Militant and more aggressive approach to X-Men, where characters like Cable, Domino, Shatterstar, and others became popular

Whose part of the new lineup?

I will give the book this- the choices mostly make sense...

Kid Omega, Wolverine, Colossus, Domino, Sage...

The only big outliers are:

Beast (who has always been AGAINST X-Force...)

Jean Grey (Who was JUST in X-Men Red promoting empathy and peace...?)

I guess my question is...is why not just make new teams...with new names? There’s DEFINITELY ENOUGH ‘X’ PUNS Marvel can still do....

Maybe this seems hypocritical from someone who regularly COMPLAINS about nostalgia...but I really DON’T GET the point of this....

What’s the point of doing ‘Fallen Angels’...if from all appearances it’s neither following the original premise of the team OR has any of the original members involved? Why not just call it something else? 

I guess my question is- is what is the point of relying on the nostalgia of ‘Excalibur’ or’The Marauders’ and using a ‘selling title’, when you’re completely ignoring the purpose of the original title? 

I understood WHY Christina Strain USED the title ‘Generation X’, because most of the living original members returned to the book and it followed the essential premise- teenagers that feel like outsiders, training at Xavier’s School for the Gifted. 

I understood WHY DeFilippis and Weir USED ‘New X-Men’ in it’s title, because they were an offset of Morrison’s generation and what he had built in his run... 

This just feels like attaching popular X-Men teams names randomly to books.... 

The worst part is- they could have had some EXCELLENT LINEUPS, that MADE SENSE with the premise!

Have Pixie and Chamber on Excalibur! 

Have Hellion, Bling, and Gentle on Fallen Angels with some of the classic characters!

Have New Mutants be a mix of the original New Mutants and Dani’s New Mutants 2.0!

I’m HOPING this choice is because it’s all part of some AU verse...because otherwise I have no f*****’ clue why Marvel is doing this BESIDES empty, soulless nostalgia finally coming full circle....

Here’s the link for more info:

https://www.polygon.com/2019/7/20/20702170/house-of-x-men-marvel-comics-excalibur-marauders-new-mutants-fallen-angels-x-force-sdcc-2019

[tepkunset]

The Disrespectful Death of Rahne Sinclair

[NOTE: I am stepping outside of my comfort zone in writing this, because it’s something that I feel needs to be said. Please feel free to like/reblog/add your own comments however you wish, but I am not looking to personally partake in any more discussion in this.]

Characters die all the time in comics. They die, sometimes they come back, sometimes they then die again. There are a lot of good stories involving the death of a character. So when I say that I am angry about Rahne Sinclair getting killed off, most of that anger is about how they did it. I am angry about the lack of respect given to her and a serious societal problem.

Uncanny X-Men Vol 5 #16 starts with Rahne saying that she’s done being a part of the X-Men, and wants to try living a normal life for a while--which you really can’t blame her for. She’s tried it in the past without success, but hey, even if she gets a little break of happiness, that’s the kind of exit I like to see for a character who deserves it, after being through trauma. (And like most of the New Mutant women, she sure has been through a lot.) 

The issue ends just a few hours later with Dani falling to the ground, crying that Rahne has died.

They really killed her off panel, for a cliffhanger.

Because it happened off panel, I denied believing she was really dead. It would hardly be the first time an issue ends with the supposed death of a character, only for the next one to reveal that not to be the case. Even with #17 opening with the characters preparing for her funeral, still I refused to believe she was really dead. I waited for some ploy to be revealed, that this was all a trick of some kind for some reason, because none of the characters would talk about what even happened. 

But then we do find out what happened, in a flashback. A flashback in the form of a telepathic vision in Wolverine’s head.

Wolverine orders Kwannon to read the minds of Rahne’s killers and show him what happened. We see how he sees how the man refuses to leave Rahne alone, despite her repeated polite and direct requests. That his harassment ends up triggering her to slightly transform. That the men call her a dog as they beat her to death. And it’s all for Wolverine to get angry over. To get his macho revenge against the men who killed her.

Rosenberg wrote Rahne being violently murdered in a hate crime, off panel, for the purpose of male angst and to give Logan and Scott something new to fight over.

This story takes place in the States, where the number of women killed by homicide increased by 21% in 2016, and the same year hate crimes increased by 12%. (Huh, that sure is an interesting year to see such large stat increases. I wonder what big thing happened in 2016 that might encourage this.) The stats have risen yet again since. The fact is, it is a very dangerous time to be a minority right now.

Rosenberg has also made it quite clear that his intentions are to play back into the Mutant Metaphor, which makes the connotations of this event not a coincidence but an active choice, to tell a story with the obvious parallels it has. And the way this story is being told is extremely disrespectful to Rahne, the victim here, and vicariously the actual, real victims of such crimes.

I’m happy that Dani and Xi’an are no longer robot-zombies. I’m very happy that after so many years, Dani finally has her powers back. But I wish my happiness over these things was not accompanied by the way Rahne’s death was handled.

[thecorteztwins]

Random Munday stuffs

- I have two bumper stickers on my car: “I LOVE MICE” and “Have You Hugged Your Rat Today?” -Getting into Inhumans, as you’ve probably noticed. I watched the entire ABC series (though it’s not too much like the comics, it seems), read the Royals series, read most of “Inhuman” (2014) and started reading the 1975 “Inhumans” series. I’ve also read the 1988 Inhumans special where Ahura is born. That said, I’m always gonna love my retro 89s/90s X-Men stuff, so I’m not going away! -If I had the energy, I’d probably also be writing Kwannon, Zaladane, and Madelyne Pryor. Maybe also Exodus. And have a multi-muse blog for a bunch of even more minor Marvel characters like Minxi and Gosamyr and Solarr why am I such a nerd - Nothing ruins a Problematic Fave for me like fandom lionizing and championing them and everything they’ve ever done. It’s even worse when it takes on a socio-political aspect. If you’ve been on Tumblr long enough, you know what I’m talking about. -  How much of a mouse nut I am: I was holding Phoebe and she pooped on me like always but it was like, smaller and dryer than usual. And I was like "oh no are you getting enough water" and sure enough, her water bottle was leaking and had run out prematurely (as well as made a mess of wet mouse food, ugh) I literally know what poop is normal for my mouse at this point, dear lord. - Fair warning, I about to debate the biology/behavior of a fictional creature. I am aware that this is totally ridiculous and that imaginary creatures can have any quality you want, because they are imaginary. That said: I saw someone on the Internet (YES, I KNOW) argue they think unicorns would be predatory because of legends about them being far too wild and ferocious to capture without the help of a maiden, whom they became tame for. Bruh, I question your knowledge of how animals work, because herbivores can actually be as aggressive as hell. Deer attack people plenty, and both the Cape Buffalo and the rhinoceros are INCREDIBLY aggressive creatures. Hippos too. All herbivores. I don't think being dangerous is a good argument for saying an animal must be a predator. Game animals fuck hunters up ALL THE TIME no reason a unicorn wouldn't do that too, especially since they're always getting hunted in classical lore and would probably know to associate humans with danger/fight mode. That said, their idea that the real reason a maiden was brought along on hunts was as bait was a cool one. Not one I would personally use in my own writing though; while I normally like doing new things with classical creatures of legend, I forever have a soft spot for unicorns as pure and gentle, if untameable save for a few moments with a chosen woman, creatures. - I really love Tori Amos, but I realized I don’t listen to her much anymore at all? She was like all I listened to in college. She’s the first artist I got into that much (I’m not a music person) I listened to like ALL of her shit except her recent stuff. And like, if you know Tori Amos, you know she’s famous for writing these deeply emotional, very painful but incoherent word salad lyrics that are so sad and raw yet so ambiguous you can really interpret them into ANYTHING you need to relate to at the time. At least, that’s what she used to write in the 90s. Now that she’s much older and married with a kid and in a much better mental place I guess (which makes sense considering some of the horrible shit that happened to her when she was younger) her stuff is very different. Which is why I didn’t listen to that. But now I don’t really listen to her old stuff either, and when I do it doesn’t make me emotional. On the one hand that’s great, because it means obviously I’m in a better place than when I got into her and needed her and related to her songs so much, but also I miss that degree of personal resonance with music, because it’s not something I experience a lot.

[aion-rsa]

First New Marvel X-Men Crossover Revealed

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Marvel announced the first major crossover of Jonathan Hickman’s Dawn of X era of X-Men. X of Swords will tie all the X-titles together in a ’90s throwback, 15-part crossover touching every single book in the line. 

“One of the cool things we are able to do now, because we’ve established the X-line and really know where we’re going, is that we’re able to try some different things out,” Hickman said in a statement. “X of Swords will be an old school crossover that meanders through the entire line. It’s almost like chapters of a story.”

Hickman, you’ll recall, reinvigorated the X-Men line with House of X and Powers of X. And like Powers of X, X of Swords is using the Roman numeral X as a sort of low-nerdy double entendre. Where Powers of X examined four time periods of exponential scales, X of Swords heavily implies a focus on the mystical (the Ten of Swords is a not great tarot card – it depicts a man lying face down on the ground with ten swords in his back), and the promotional artwork seems to hint at that being the case. 

As he did for HoX/PoX, Mark Brooks drew a pretty interesting promotional piece for X of Swords. Take a look, but be warned: Past the picture, there will be spoilers for most Dawn of X comics, as we try and look at who’s on the piece, and almost as importantly, what swords they’re holding.

Starting in the top left corner and moving clockwise:

Eye Boy, created for Jason Aaron’s underrated Wolverine and the X-Men and slated to appear as part of Leah Williams’ and David Baldeon’s X-Factor. That book has Trevor as a part of the team that investigates mutant deaths so the resurrection protocols can be initiated. He’s wielding some kind of eye sword.

Gorgon, the ex-Hand leader who once killed, resurrected and brainwashed Wolverine into being a Hand agent. Since joining the mutants on Krakoa, Gorgon was personally recommended by Logan to be one of the four Great Captains of Krakoa, responsible for the protection of the mutant ruling council when they leave the island. He’s holding the Godkiller sword that he’s carried since he was in Hickman’s Secret Warriors. The blade was created for Zeus but lost, and eventually made its way into Gorgon’s hands.

Next to him is John Greycrow, formerly one of Sinister’s Marauders, and slated to be a member of Hellions, an upcoming book from Zeb Wells and Stephen Segovia. Greycrow is a master marksman who honed his talents in war (originally World War II, but Marvel Time means his service dates have been moved up to Symkaria or something) and has technology powers. He’s carrying some kind of technological gunsword.

Below and to the right is Brian Braddock, formerly Captain Britain but now titleless (I believe) after ceding the Amulet of Right to his sister Betsy in Tini Howard and Marcus To’s magnificent Excalibur. He’s holding the Sword of Might, one of the two artifacts offered to potential Captains Britain. When captured and corrupted in Otherworld by Morgan Le Fay, Brian gave up the Amulet of Right to Betsy to help her stop Le Fay’s attack. He’s currently suffering through a crisis of confidence now that he’s left with only the sword. It also feels important that he’s textually not a mutant.

Below Captain Britain is Psylocke. This will stop being confusing in a couple of months – Kwannon (the woman who was body-swapped with Elizabeth Braddock back in the late ‘80s, then died of the Legacy Virus in Betsy’s old body) was resurrected during Wolverine’s return before HoXPoX. She was most recently in Fallen Angels running down ex-family and trying to kill Apoth, a self-aware AI drug dealer. Psylocke is carrying a fairly standard-looking sword. 

Above him is Rachel Grey, another member of X-Factor, carrying the Blade of the Phoenix, the Shi’ar sword used by the Death Commandos to wipe out her bloodline on Earth.

Below her is Charles Xavier, carrying the sword Magneto made for him out of the broken shards of the Cerebro helmet he was wearing when he was shot in the head in the pages of X-Force.

Next to him is Cable carrying a sword I recognize but can’t name at the moment. Cable is set to appear in his own book, from Gerry Duggan and Phil Noto, but has spent much of Dawn of X on family vacations with Cyclops, Jean Grey, Rachel Grey, his uncle Gabe, his dad’s boyfriend Wolverine, his dad’s other wife Emma Frost, and their island home’s estranged sister.

Above Cable is Doug Ramsey, Cypher. Doug was most recently running around Shi’ar territory trying to get to Chandilar to visit with Cannonball in Hickman and Rod Reis’ New Mutants. He’s back on Earth and back to functioning as Krakoa’s voice now. The sword he’s carrying looks like it’s a techno-organic extension of his arm, but it could also be his best friend, Warlock the Technarch, hiding from Cyclops. Confused? Go read X-Men #7.

Next to Cable and Cypher is Betsy Braddock, the newest Captain Britain. She is attacking with her telekinetic sword that’s a manifestation of her powers, and she’s dressed in her snazzy new Captain Britain uniform designed by To for Excalibur.

Next to Betsy is a yet-unnamed sidekick to Angel who’s set to appear in Vita Ayala and Bernard Chang’s Children of the Atom, starting in April.

Read more

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Down and to his right is Domino, sporting a fancy wooden stabbing sleeve crafted by Forge to heal the parts of her that were skinned by the Reavers to allow them to pass undetected through Krakoa’s defenses in early X-Force. 

Below her is Cyclops with a laser sword. You don’t need much more than that.

In the bottom right corner is Armor, Hisako Ichiki. She debuted in Joss Whedon and John Cassaday’s Astonishing X-Men, and has been a leader of that era of students since. She’s currently spreading the good word about Krakoa to mutants around the world in the pages of New Mutants.

To the left is Wolverine carrying the Muramasa blade. This sword cuts through anything and disrupts healing factors – it’s one of the few things that could potentially hurt Wolverine enough to kill him.

Next to Logan is Magik, Ilyanna Rasputin, carrying her Soulsword. More on this in a second, but Magik has most recently been in space with Cypher and the rest of the New Mutants, in her case trying to make out with all of the Shi’ar Death Commandos.

To Magik’s side is Storm carrying some kind of long lightning kunai.This is one of my favorite sentences of all time.

Below Storm is Nightcrawler, the first Pope of a new mutant religion (again, read X-Men #7, it’s bonkers) carrying a fancy looking rapier. Nightcrawler has always been modeled (and modeled himself) after Errol Flynn, and the rapier is a big part of that.

Next to Nightcrawler is Storm’s Marauders teammate Iceman, ready for some Stabbing…and…Chill…? I’m sorry, once I thought of it I had to type it.

And finally, above Iceman is Apocalypse, the man who ended the Bronze Age. Apocalypse is pictured here holding one of the jagged scimitars he was last seen carrying in a flashback told by Cypher about Krakoa’s ancient history. Krakoa was once Okkara, one big island, until an invasion from another plane forced Apocalypse to sacrifice his first Horsemen to seal off that invasion, and half of Okkara. Arrako, the sealed off sister island to Krakoa, reappeared in X-Men #2, and with it the daughter of one of the Horsemen. 

This was one of the most exciting dangling ideas from House of X and Powers of X. The fact that Dawn of X has been just as casually stuffed with new concepts and deep examinations of the changes wrought by Krakoa and the Five’s resurrection abilities, while also making time for fun superhero punch ups and picking up ideas that have been left on the ground by the introductory series is what’s making the X-Men line so exciting right now. 

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X of Swords kicks off in July.

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