#since i always gotta daydream abt babies with a blorbo lmaooo

[theloveinc]

(On one hand, Enjin is excited to have his own baby. So excited that he can't think about it for longer for a few seconds before his bones start turning to liquid and his gut fills with something so euphoric he's afraid it might cause him to up and float away.

But then on the other hand, part of him dreads it, almost, is annoyed by his excitement for it—not so much the actual having of, caring for a baby part, but the... creating one from nothing part. The... putting another living, breathing being onto this earth, part.

Babies are... no, children are quite a sore subject for him. Everything about them, about his experience as one, are the antithesis of his existence. Reliance on others in and of itself is far from a bad thing, he knows this to be true... but children have no choice in the matter as to who they are surrounded by and who they are helped by, much less whether or not they have to exist in the first place.

Besides, for all intents and purposes, Enjin has children. Grown-up children, children he only partially raised, but a family of the them, nonetheless, who'd choose him as their mentor in this life and the next. Having another, from conception feels selfish, somehow. Unnecessary. Disrespectful.

And he doesn't want to name it. Of it all—your pregnancy, the birth, the whole shebang—naming it definitely feels the worst: slapping on what will one day be an independent person an identity nobody else has the right to choose but them. He went through it, Rudo went through a version it... and he's certain any child of his will, too. It's why he has yet to come to terms with it... and has absolutely zero ideas for a name.)