#since I know what I'm doing you should take ed advice from me. eat 3 meals a day and drink plenty of water and enjoy your life

[no-one-hears-me]

the past is gone

[ashwhowrites]

Eddie dating Cheerleader! Y/N she has fallen hard for him, until she heard that one cheerleader was with Eddie last night, and Reader is shocked and hurt, and she starts to ignore him, and she doesn't want anything to do with him, she goes to Steve, and he tells her that maybe she should listen to Eddie to know what he wants to say to her, and she takes his advice and she finds out that the girl wanted a date with Eddie or even wanted Eds to date her in secret but Eddie didn't wanted that because he wanted reader, so she starts to cry from the stress and Eddie thinks she's more pissed at him, and she just hugs Eddie and end up watching movies and cuddling, the next day reader and Chrissy make the cheerleader leave the team for being so mean.

I felt like these two kinda were similar so I'm combining it! I hope that's alright <3

Eddie Munson was the forbidden fruit in the school, all the popular girls secretly wanted him. They wanted to see who had the looks to break him down and cave in. He was sworn off because he had a hatred for them. But that all just made them want him even more. To prove they were better than any of the other girls. It was a dog-eat-dog world.

And Eddie had no idea all these cheerleaders secretly wanted him and fantasized about him. His eyes were set on just one, Y/N. The only girl that made him eat his words about hating cheerleaders. It was so hard to hate her when her tongue was in his mouth and her skirt was on his floor. He tried to fight it at first, but he found himself tripping into her.

Y/N already liked him, simply why she went for it. She heard the gossip around the cheerleading squad. How they all wanted him to see what he was like in bed, and just to brag about how they made Eddie Munson change his mind. She didn't care about that. She liked him, and she knew she liked him as a person. She was surprised he agreed to a date, but glad he said yes. Ever since they've been on dates every week, spending every day together, and sleepovers on the weekends. She was rolled up in him and she didn't want anything different....well maybe something different. She wanted to be official.

And the recent rumor she heard, she wished she made it official a long time ago.

~~~

"Do you think he really did it?" Chrissy asked, sitting on the floor across from Y/N as she sobbed in the locker room.

"You heard her! She talked about how they fucked all night long. Eddie never called me last night and he always does. He apologized this morning and said Wayne didn't pay the phone bill. But what if he lied? What if he was busy with her?" Y/N panicked, her eyes wide as she couldn't breathe.

"Okay, let's calm down. And breathe. Eddie is nuts about you and Kathy is a whore. No one likes her and she's a bitch. How could Eddie even think about her when he has you? I think you should talk to him. And for Kathy, I'll deal with her once we find out what happened." Chrissy said, wrapping her arms around Y/N.

"I'll talk to him." Y/N whispered.

But once she made it out of the locker room, and was face to face, she ran.

"Y/N?" Eddie yelled after her, he was worried because it seemed like she was crying.

"HEY! ARE YOU OKAY?" he yelled again, but she made it to her car before he reached her, driving out of the parking lot.

He sighed and got in his van, driving straight to her house. He pulled up slightly seconds behind her, her legs walking fast to get into her house and slamming the door behind her.

Eddie wasn't sure what was wrong, but it almost felt like he was the problem. She refused to open the door for him. He's seen her cry before and he's helped. So he knew she wasn't just hiding because of that. She was hiding because of him.

~~~

The next day Eddie tried again. But she gave him the cold shoulder whenever he got close. She ignored his calls and never opened her door. He was lost in what he did and he hated that he couldn't even ask.

So he asked Chrissy

~~~

"I don't know, I want to believe she was lying. But how can I be so sure?" Y/N stressed, Steve listened as he stocked the shelves.

"As someone who has been cheated on, and sees the signs. Eddie isn't cheating. You said it yourself that the squad is dying to get their claws in him. She probably made it up so she could get to him next. That boy adores you. Talk to him."

~~~

Y/N pulled up to her spot with Eddie, a hill that overlooked the town. He already sat on a blanket and had a couple of beers next to him. She took a deep breath and sat next to him. This was their spot and the thought comforted her.

"Chrissy told me what happened," Eddie said, his voice sad as he looked at her. But she was too embarrassed to look at him.

"And I'm not mad at you for believing her, I want you to know that."

"But you should! I ignored you and treated you like crap all because I thought you were with her. I didn't let you explain. I painted you a bad guy without a second thought." She cried, she hated that she believed he was evil so easily.

"Hey stop," Eddie cooed, wrapping his arm around her as she tucked into his chest. "You were hurt and sometimes we can't think clearly when that happens. But I want you to know there's no one else I want." His voice was soft as he kissed her head.

"I was so scared that I lost you before I could even fully have you." She confessed, her eyes looking at the stars as he stayed on her.

"Not going to lose me. And definitely not going to lose me to someone else. She flirted with me and I blew her off. She probably wanted to hurt you because she was mad. But what we have is strong and no cheer bitch will ruin it." Eddie joked, feeling the relief in his chest as she laughed.

"I think I love you, Munson." She whispered, looking up at him as she rubbed his cheek.

"I know that I love you." He smiled, leaning down as he connected his lips with hers.

After that night, everything was fixed. Eddie and Y/N were official. Always hand in hand. And for Kathy, Chrissy kicked her off the team.

Because as Eddie said, no cheer bitch would ruin what they had.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @ahsrulez420 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37

[growandrecover]

Heyyy, me again! First of all I'd like to thank you for all your replies so far.

Second of all, I'd like to ask if you know of any communities centered around ED recovery. I know of two subreddits, but of them are... really bad. One is not recovery focused and is mostly overrun by pro-ana teenagers who are looking for advice for continuing their self harming behaviour. The other is recovery focused but every post is manually approved by mods and the mods approve like...5 % of posts and you aren't allowed to talk about anything slightly upsetting, even though there's a whole trigger warning flair so idk what's up with that. I feel like there's strength in community and while most of the members of my DBT group have some sort of eating disorder as well, it isn't really the focus of the sessions and we are discouraged from talking about it because not everyone is stable in their recovery.

Third of all, is it normal for extreme hunger to come in waves? I've always heard about it as like...this thing you get for a week or two straight and then you're alright, but after a while of starting recovery, I got extreme hunger for like two days and then nothing. And after a few weeks it was like a day again. Last week I didn't feel hungry nearly at all and didn't eat much, and this week I've feeling super ravenous. Like since Monday I've been feeling like a starving beast of some sort dhdhhdhsb. It isn't even necessarily physical hunger, like, yeah, sure, that too, but sometimes I feel dizzy and hungry and like I'm starving even though there's no physical pain in the stomach area.

Hey!! My deepest apologies for taking so long to respond. Life has been kind of hectic around here 🥲

I did some googling and here's what I found as far as groups go:

(As far as I know, they're all free. I went through all the registries and looked for payment options, and there were none. I haven't used any of them myself, though. I believe most of these take place in the US, so if you're not American, just let me know *if you're comfortable doing so, of course* and I'll look for more!! I did find a few that were taking people from all over the world, and one just for those residing in the UK and one for Australians.)

Eating Recovery Center: This one has a lot of different groups, though you can only be registered for one at a time. They're virtual meetings. I'm not certain if it's limited to those who live in the states or not, but if you live there, you should be able to access it.

Center For Discovery: This one also has a lot of different groups. They're virtual as well.

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders: This one only has 2 groups, one for those with the disorder, and another for family members.

Project Heal: This one is a list of 30 different groups, separated by category (high-weight and larger bodies, body liberation, lgbtq+, neurodivergent, bipoc, clinicians in recovery, age specific, general support, Spanish speaking, male identifying, meal support, and support for family and friends)

National Alliance for Eating Disorders: Virtual meetings, but not as many categories. If you live in the states, there are a few in person meetings as well. Led by therapists.

The Eating Disorder Foundation: Virtual as well. Lots of different options as far as groups go. (Family and friends, people experiencing binge behaviors, trans and nonbinary, individuals 18+, individuals 50+, neurodivergent, both virtual and in person for lgbtq+ people 18 and older, individuals 30+, individuals 13-17, art journaling, health professionals in recovery, and several other in person groups.)

Beat Eating Disorders: Solely for people in the UK. These are chat rooms. (General support, bulimia support, BED support, anorexia support, ARFID support)

The Lotus Collaborative: Meets on Zoom every Friday 3:00 pm to 3:50 pm PST. Anyone who is working on their recovery journey is welcome to join.

Butterfly Foundation: I believe this is solely open to Australians. However, if you just so happen to live there, they have both virtual and web chat options.

Eating Disorders Anonymous: This one has both in person and Zoom meetings for people who live all over the world. They are location specific, but there are many options.

Eating Disorder (Ana, BED, Mia, & EDNOS) Recovery Support Group *through Facebook*: I'm not a member of this group, but it looks like it shouldn't be harmful. However, since it's private, I sent a request to join to make sure it won't be triggering. I'll delete it off this list if it is. The rules that lead me to believe that it won't be harmful are as follows: "1. No numbers: All numbers related to weight, food, exercise, measurements, etc must be replaced by x/xx/xxxx. 2. No bullying whatsoever. Bullies will be immediately banned without a warning. 3. All pictures must go in the comment section of your post! Selfies and body shots are not allowed! 5. This group is NOT a pro ed group or a pro self harm group. If you support those, this group is not for you." There are 33k members.

Project Heal: This one was already mentioned, but I just wanted to single it out because it's specifically for meal support.

Balance Eating Disorder Treatment Center: This group is titled "Virtual Contemplating Recovery Free Eating Disorder Support Group". They state that if you're asking yourself things like, "Am I sick enough? Do I even have an eating disorder? Can I fix this on my own? Will I ever know a life without the obsession?" you'd be a great fit for this meeting. They meet twice a month at no cost. There is an international option if you're not in America. I wasn't sure if you'd need this one or not, but I wanted you to have the option.

Ana, Mia, and EDNOS Recovery Support Group *through Facebook*: Again, I requested to join this group to be sure it wouldn't be triggering. I'll delete it off the list if it is. There are 27k members. This one has very similar rules to the first one.

(If these weren't what you were looking for, I got a lot of area specific ones in my search *not included in this list*. So if you were to search, you may find some for those who live near you. I searched "eating disorder recovery forum", "eating disorder support forum", "eating disorder support group online", and "anorexia recovery support groups")

Update: I just got into the first group (they seem to work very quickly) and scrolled through the posts a little bit. Everyone looks to be pretty mindful and helpful as well! If you have Facebook, I'd recommend this one!!

To answer the third part of your ask:

My extreme hunger was terrible. Oh my gosh, it was just absolutely wild. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like a starving beast. Mine went on for a few months, if I'm remembering correctly. I remember getting it around October, and it stayed until January -ish? It got so much worse around the holidays 😫. However, I think it's different for everyone.

I remember looking it up and found this (I found it again when I looked it up just now lol) : RecoveryWarriors.com

In case you don't feel like reading it, the author says, "It was the oddest feeling. My stomach might feel full, but I feel an innate calling to keep eating. And eating. And eating. I'd consume huge amounts of food at once and still scrounge for more." She goes on to say, "Extreme hunger is not something everyone recovering from a restrictive eating disorder will experience. However, most will. When you'll experience it and for how long differs, but it is usually a (scary) part of the recovery process."

She continues a little bit later,

"However, it may take quite a while for your hunger levels to go back to 'normal'. There's no way of knowing how long extreme hunger will last. For some people, they may only experience it for a few weeks. Other people may find themselves in a state of extreme hunger for months on end. Or, you may never experience extreme hunger." (Why Can't I stop Eating!: The Truth About Extreme Hunger, Savala)

This article by Registered Dietician, Shena Jaramillo, called Extreme Hunger in Eating Disorder Recovery explains what causes it, the signs, how to manage it, provides coping tools, and might help to answer your question a little bit further.

I hope this was at least somewhat helpful!! Let me know how the groups go (only if you want to, of course) and I'll be sure to check back in when I get into the 2 on Facebook :) 💗

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Hey I thought I could ask for some advice on this as I do not know what would be a healthy boundary in regards to this. I've lately been struggling with a relapse first because of depression then because of illness. It's been hard as only one friend really knows or cares about it. I greatly appreciate her for this. But I have been running into an issue with an unaware friendgroup. We have this discord server and it normally is fine. Nothing too heavy and mostly just art and video games. We do have a vent channel and this person is slowly starting to post more about their weight and calorie counting and bmi. I am highly competitive which is an issue I need to resolve myself. On the other hand I feel that this is a safe place and I'm allowed to be able to say I'd really appreciate no weight loss discussion there as I've also felt that I should not brinf my issues up there. Would it be an okay thing to do to maybe ask this person to not discuss weight loss?

I always struggle to see the line between my competitiveness and my actual triggers. I'm currently unable to go home much because my brother has developed an exercise addiction and my family says my concerns are out of line. They also have said his behaviour is normal and past situations have made me feel that discussing things that trigger me can lead to people getting aggressive and annoyed. This is why i feel really scared to adress this in my friendgroup.

I'm so sorry for the long ask. I really appreciate your posts, they help me remind myself that I should keep going despite all the hardships I'm facing <3

Wow, that can be really difficult to navigate! I would say you are ABSOLUTELY allowed to confide your issues to your friends, and that if they are good friends they will understand and respect your need for healing. Do be prepared to encounter an issue that many of us in ED recovery encounter, where we have to make hard choices when some of our friends are not so good at being supportive.

I think, depending on what you feel comfortable sharing with people in the vent channel, you would be well within your rights to share maybe just a small amount of your backstory to give context as to why this is triggering for you - stuff like "I have had to work hard to recover from an eating disorder, and I still have some triggers." However, if you don't feel comfortable sharing that, you could simply go with the lines "It is not good for my mental health to be part of conversations about weight, BMI, or dieting. I hope you understand and understand that although I do care, these things are not good for my health."

Do understand that while you are well within your rights to at least put this out there, your friend may say no. You're allowed to voice your issues, but your friend has been using this as a space to vent their own issues. Hopefully the conversation is at least had respectfully and everyone is able to stick to a solution that works for everybody. If not, you can respectfully tell the group something like, "I understand. For my safety and mental health my only option is to stay out of this chat for an indeterminate period of time." These are hard choices to make and can hurt, but setting this boundary may free you up to find people who do support your mental health needs.

As for your family, it's harder for me to give you advice simply because I don't know the degree to which your brother is exercising. I think that gym bros can absolutely take it to an unhealthy extreme and get absorbed in damaging fad diets and stuff like that, but since I don't know what your brother is doing, I cannot verify that that's the case. Whether or not his exercise is unhealthy, I can offer you this recovery advice: you can only control your own recovery journey in the end. You do someone else's recovery, especially if they are not looking to change anything. So perhaps you could ask your brother and family members not to discuss his gym stuff/diets with you? Frame it as a way to protect yourself, because it is causing you so much concern and stress.

If you find yourself getting triggered to the point of being aggressive, it is always okay to ask for a break in the conversation. Taking a step back can help you regulate and find a coping strategy to get into a calmer frame of mind, where it will be easier to think of a next move. "Can I get back to you in a bit? I need to think about that a little more," is an okay thing to say.

No need to apologize for the long ask, I hope you are able to heal and make these things a part of your learning/growth journey!

[magicshoppurple]

The 25 Journal Prompts For Self-reflection (now answered)

1. Two words/phrases that make me laugh

I hate snakeu. I don't know, it's just an army thing. But it kind of makes me laugh everythime i think about it.

2. My life in 7 years

In 7 years, I'm gonna be 27. So i want my life to be happy. Been to Venice already, to South Korea, Japan. Met BTS, GOT7, and Ed Sheeran. Pursuing my career as a writer. No boyfriend. Built my parents a good house. Bought a farm land. Bought 2 boats, one for fishing the other for touring. Have a car. Lots of books. Written many stories. Living with pets.

3. What do i need to get off my chest today

A good cup of coffee, i guess. With a pen in hand and a paper to write on. Just like the good old times.

4. How can i simplify my life in little ways

An island girl, living an island life. Pet lover and writer with a heart.

5. What advice should i give myself right now

Don't let love take your dreams away.

6. How can i make time for things that bring me joy

Just wake up early and do some stuffs. A lot of time in the morning. Pure silence. No distractions.

7. What makes me happy

This may vary all the time. But this time, what makes me really happy is that i passed the civil service exam that i lost hope for and went on a ten-day vacation with my mom and sister.

8. Ten interesting facts about myself

1. I love music.

2. I love Kpop.

3. I love reading.

4. I love watching Kdramas till 3 am.

5. I write blogs about stuffs that inspire me

6. I love animals.

7. I love history.

8. I love movies.

9. I love adventure.

10. I can swim.

9. Five fears that i have

1. Physical darkness

2. Psychological darkness

3. People that cannot be trusted

4. Forgotten dreams

5. Unknown future

10. What am i thankful for

Right now, i am thankful that i just came back from our vacation safely.

11. Five things i would like to do more

1. Writing

2. Reading

3. Going out to see the sunrise

4. Playing with my pets outside

5. Helping my mother doing the house chores

12. Things i love about this time of my life

About this time of my life, i think i love my newly bought blue notebook, the chinese movie i just watched earlier, the ferero nutella that my uncle just gave us, the kdrama Touch Your Heart that makes my heart really flattered, Lee Dong Wook and Yoo In Na. I also love being back home and seeing jungkook, chimchim, tofu, kalderen, kabo, and smeagol. And, the couch i am lying on right now. Also, the feeling that i got inspired to write again.

13. How do i relax

Most times, it'd be lying on the cough watching tv. Other times, It'd be sleeping on the hammock while listening to music. Or reading in our cottage with a cup of coffee in hand. And sometimes, it's playing with my dogs at the beach, running wild with the wind in my face.

14. What do i feel strongly about

I feel strongly about being an ARMY. Because its not that easy. Beacuse it's really gotten into me. Beacuse i love BTS, and it will insult me if anyone makes bad comments about them. They're my idol and i live looking at them as my inspiration.

15. What are my priorities in life

My number one priority is to find a job so that i could help my parents already. Number two is to suppprt my sister's study. Number three is to travel. Number four is to be a writer. And the list just goes on.

16. Five things to do less often

1. Being lazy

2. Not doing anything

3. Being pessimistic

4. Getting scared

5. Getting worried

17. What were my highs and lows this week?

My highs this week are when i passed that civil service exam and that 10-day vacation. About the exam, i never thought i could really pass it because i didn't even finished it. I lost hope already but miracles do happen. I got my miracle, thanks God. And about the vacation. Well, it's been a good one. I get to meet cousins and relatives i haven't seen before or in a long time.

And my lows this week is the realization that i may be losing my dreams one day because i grow up or fall in love. It makes me sad to even think about it.

18. Write a letter to my teenage self

Since i haven't been a teenager for a year now, I'm missing that self already. To my teenage self, you haven't been so reckless. Don't spend your time crying over guys and getting depressed about the me now. I'm truly fine. Worry about your self. Go out, enjoy, read your favorite books, write, and get inspired. And also, study well. But not hard. You shouldn't have a boyfriend, but it happens anyway. It's okay. Just don't get suffocated on love. Your feelings will fade anyway, trust me. Lmao 😂😂

Just love yourself more.

19. What do i need to be content

That i have what i need right now - a food to eat, a family to come home to, pets to cuddle, books to read, songs to listen, notebooks to write on, a cellphone to do stuffs i love, and many more.

20. Name three things i do well

1. Writing

2. Crafting

3. Reading

21. What are my biggest goals

To travel with my family. To meet BTS. To build a dream house. To publish even just one book. To know Japanese/Korean language. Above all that, TO BE HAPPY.

22. What do i love about myself

I love that i am continuously learning to love myself. That i am no longer in the impression of trying to chase some guy. That I'm not in love. That guys can no longer make a fool of me.

23. One way i would like to grow next year

My character. That's been a little bit off the track lately. I hate that i am not good to people. That anyone could annoy me so easily.

24. What would i be doing if money wasn't an object

To travel, perhaps. If by object means not an issue, then I'd probably be gone somewhere in the world and never coming back.

25. What's on my mind right now

The chinese movie called suddenly 17. It's about dreams dissappearing because the main character grow up. Or somewhere along the way, she gave it up for the man she love who only broke her heart after ten years of their relationship.

THAT MOVIE JUST MADE ME REALIZE THAT I WOULD NEVER EVER GIVE UP MY DREAMS FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

||05.31.19

[byebye-ed]

I have been in recovery for about 3-4 months for Anorexia and Bulimia. My food intake has been pretty much the same since I started recovery. And yes, I feel so much better now. But, lately I've been feeling.. Dizzy for no reason. I have had severe hypochondria in my past days, and I fear that will trigger it back. I'm at a healthy weight and I've gotten so far for such a short time. It's.. Scary going back now. It's idiotic, but I really don't know what to do. - AJ (1/2) Apoligies.

I know I should contact a doctor, but It’s far away and frankly. Money is scarce. Is this something.. Expected? I was at such a great place and now.. I don’t know. I did know my heart was incredibly weak when I first got hospitalized. But, I had surgery and now it’s supposed to be fine. I really don’t know what to do. I know that I do have to do much these days, I have a horse to take care of. Work, etc. But.. I don’t think it’s stress. I’m rambling at this point, I’m just very anxious -AJ (2/2)

Hi AJ, how are you feeling now? My advice would be go see a doctor obviously if it’s still an issue for you. However, i understand that may not be possible for you right now. So here are some thoughts from me: a healthy weight /= full physical recovery. It usually takes about 6-12 months after weight restoration for all your body systems (muscles, hormones etc) to go back to working strongly and normally and not preparing for another famine. So i wouldn’t be at all surprised if  your physical health is still a tad fragile. In order to get that better of course, you need to keep eating adequately with no purging. As for your hypochondria, i would think that your symptoms are most likely linked to your eating disorder, and nothing *new* to be worried about. The most important thing to remember is that the best way to keep yourself healthy right now is to stay on track with recovery from your ED, acting on behaviours will not keep you safe from any other illnesses, in fact quite the opposite. I hope i’ve answered ur question, all the best xx

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Hii!! I'm really sorry it took me so long, but here i am once again. You also had a busy week? Eveything okay? You babysitted your cousin again? Jajajajajaj noo. That would be very sad. Do not miss the concert because of that! Bring them ans then you'll see. I saw pics of one of his concerts were people had ballons and it looked wonderful! (1)

Hi love!!  Seriously, don’t worry about how long it takes you to answer me. I know your busy, and you have to study and all that, so… And yeah, last week was a bit busy, so out of normalcy, jajajja. Bc I never have things to do,lol.Yeah, I’ll bring the balloons 🎈 and I’ll see what I do. If it’s a success I’ll take a pic to show you,jajaja. That concert that Niall streamed the other day? They have balloons, jejejeje. It’s from where I got the idea 😅.

I know what a Diskman is, but i nevver had one. Anyway, i was not laughing of Andy and Lucas. I cannot judge since i have only heard one spng that was included in the Singstar Karaoke🤷. Wow, you had a good time in the 2000. You saw the most famous ones!! Ed was magical. His live was so good!! He was there all alonne and he pulled it off so well. Very lively😍 I almost cried when it ended (2)

Jajajajaaja, I know you weren’t laughing at it, jajajaja (but I totally was, lol, it’s so embarrassing). But I guess I was a teen and they were our own one direction,jajajajajajaja (no! Nada que ver!!) You think? I’ve always thought I didn’t go to a lot of concerts. I love music and concerts, so I guess I just wish I could go to a lot more,jajajajaa. Oh Ed… I’ve seen some videos of his concerts, and I want to go to one. He came to Spain around my birthday in 2014? And I wanted to go, but the place was very small and the tickets were sold out in a few minutes. I didn’t fight for them too much, either,jajaja. I’m happy you enjoyed it!!! That feel at the end of a concert is the best and the worst at the same time.

Noo! He is not disgusting. Poor baby. JAJAJAJAJ. You really managed to find a larrie at the concert? It could have been any fan, or even a het one, and you found the larrie? Lucky girl!! Yep. She is updated on everything. Only thing she doesnt follow is Harry’s suits, which is a pity because they are The Best and I dont even like fasion but still they make me want to chance my mind. I would love to see him at the Met Gala. He would be the king of the event. (3)

Oh, my baby, I love him, jajajaja, but he’s so weird… 🤣🤣🤣🤣.Not only did I find a larrie. I sold her my tickets,jajajaja. But lol, we were so afraid someone would hear us talking and say something to us 😅😅.Genuine question: how does she keep updated? I’m always missing things, and I live in tumblr, jajajaa. I don’t know how people can keep up with everything!    I’m always thinking I’m doing something wrong,jajajajaj.Harry’s suit are in another league. I admire him just for being brave enough to wear them. He would be the king at a Met Gala. But it bothers me that they always talk only about what women wear at those events. He should start walking red carpets to show the world how do you wear suits,jajajaja.

Is it later already? Can we talk about you being a witch? Yay!! You already started the tag. I now have a tag😎 i feel cool. (I’m jealous of your cousin-in-law (?) too. Uni would be much easier with that ability). I feel a bit stupid, but i cannot understand how they can say he is slow while at the same time he is doing all of that, but, Go little boy!! I’m cheering on you! (4)

Jajajja, we have this joke in my family where we say I’m half witch,jajaja. It’s just I’ve have night dreams sometimes, that predicted the future? Jajajajaj like once I had a dream about a girl how comes to the shop. In the dream, she was at the hospital,very ill. Well, I had been a few weeks I haven’t see her, and I told my sister about my dream. I didn’t thought anything about the dream. But that same evening that girl’s mom went to the shop. And my sister told her about my dream. And the mom told my sister that her daughter has been hospitalized for more than a week, very ill (but she was already recovered). My sister called me immediately after,jjajaja.Then, another night I dreamed with two crows. I was walking down an empty road, and they were flying behind me. One closer to me than the other. (Ufff, I still get anxious thinking about it). When I woke up I looked up the meaning of dreams, and find out that crows mean death. Well, the next month my brother-in-law’s granny died. And the next week my cousin. (See? One closer to me that’s the other…) I was so scared back then… And well, I’m always having those gut feelings, or whatever they are. Like last year I predicted the date when that baby girl I’ve talked to you about was going to be born,jajajaja. My sister is always asking me to see the future,jajajaja. But it’s something I don’t control,p (and don’t fully believe, jajajaa) eh eh!!! I just remember another thing!!! Jajajaja, fandom related, even. One day I was taking a nap, when Suddenly Louis came into my dream telling (about something he had bought for D*nielle😅): it’s Gucci! It’s Gucci!! Well, I woke up after that and opened tumblr. And there were new pics of Louis wearing that jumper with a bee and a fence phrase? And everyone was crazy screaming IT’S GUCCI!! IT’S GUCCI!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. And I was still half sleep thinking: I did it again…😅.

Yeah!! You ARE cool. And now have your own tag!!jajajjaWell, I don’t understand that about my cousin, tbh. And I don’t know how to explain it either. He knows (or memorizes) those things, but I’m not sure if he understands what they mean. But also then he has trouble understanding simple things. Like if he wants to eat something (chocolate) and you tell him that he has to eat dinner first, and then he can eat the chocolate, he doesn’t get it. And it’s not like other stubborn kids. It’s just he doesn’t understand what late means. Or he doesn’t like to have his hair cut, because he thinks it won’t ever grow out again. Same with cutting his nails. I’ve discovered now that he doesn’t mind having them filed out (Limadas), so I do his nails whenever he has them too long,jejeje.

Yes!! You really did manage to put rainbows on the cake. How smart and sneaky. And it looks so good😍. You did all that? JAJAJAJJAA Listen, i would trade my non existent masculinity for those marshmallows and i dont even like them. Thats how good they look. Yeah, nop. I’m not going to do that. We arent that close anymore, i probably wont see her for a couple of months and i dont think she would listen. She only sent it to me bcs “ tu eres feminista y toda esas tonterias” and wow. Okaaay. (5)

I’m pleased to inform you that that cake was a totally success,jajajaja. Someone saw while I was making it and asked me if it were for a gay parade? I just told him it was for a baby. Well, I make another similar one yesterday and he saw it again. And he started making rude comments about gays, and how they’re expanding like a disease, just because it’s a trend now to be gay. AND I CAN’T YELL AT HIM!!! 😡😡 I just sent him a very mean look (convine these 😒🤨 emojis and that was my face) and ignored him till he went away. I HATE THAT PEOPLE!! So ignorant. But they’re worse, bc the talk like they know what they’re talking about or like they are right. And NO! Aggggg.🙄“Tú eres feminista y todas esas tonterías” wow, why didn’t she ask you for more help!! She sounds so kind… (since this is written, I’m reading that how better I please,jejje. Maybe he’s kinder that how that sounds…). Well, there’s nothing worst that people how doesn’t want to learn and hear, so… sometimes it’s simpler to ignore them 😒.

I tried explaining it to my others friends though, pointing the flaws of the sentences and they just thought i was being picky. So…i tried, but they are not going to change their minds. Which, fair enough. Oh nooo. Poor kittens :( My examens are starting next week. But this week i have to finish some assignments and they are nightmares. I have cried many times this week because of them. I hate theeeem. (Not much to keep you informed but okay. I will). (6)

Uggggg, I don’t have any advice for you. I never went to uny, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ Take it the more easy you can, but it’s something you have to go through to reach you goal, so. Look at that,jejeje, your goal. And after all this work, summer is waiting for you, so, another thing to look for up,jajaja. Good luck with everything.

Also, that story was horrifying but useful i guess?? That CD sounds heavenly. I would buy it too (but like, in a year or so bcs thats how i work xd). It wasnt “tomorrow”. And still, no news. I’m waiting for some announcement. I just want something to change. I hope the future brings only good things to Lou. Pretty please? Yeeees. Liam was/is everywhere and i’m all in for that. L, you are doing amazing sweetie. 😍 (9 of 10)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 YOU’RE SO FUNNY!!! Jajajajajaja.Yeah, it wasn’t tomorrow, nor yesterday, nor ever. I’m so impatient!!! Did you see he reappeared today?? He’s just so cute. He has had his hair cut again. I love his hair like that 😍😍. Please, let it be an announcement soon!! (I’ve read theories about him letting his contracts run out so he can free, and if that’s the case, I’m all for it, lol, even if I have to keep waiting for another year (please no)).Liam is truly everywhere. It makes me so happy. The other day the played For You in Pasapalabra (I don’t know if that’s a common thing, bc I don’t watch tele5). And yesterday they talked about him in all the programs at Los40. Mentioning his appearance at the festival. And the have tweeted something’s about him. And I don’t care if they use him as clock baiting, if they talk about him, I’m happy.

(Just read that you were working today. I reckon you didnt babysit your cousin. Oops. I never guess correctly). You went to the doctor? I dont want to pry, but are you okay? I hope you are good!!!💕 1 day until Niall show!!! It’s already thereeeee😱😱😱😍 Ooh. My weekend was dull, i studied and that was it. Thanks for asking!! What about you? Anything interesting? Have a good night!😘😘😘 (10)

Yeah, I had to work yesterday, AND babysit too, jajaja. But we have some spare space at the shops, so I took my cousin there, and between my mom and I , took care of him. So, yes, you were correct. Your memory is better than mine (a lot better).Yeah, I went to the doctor. Everything is okay, thanks for asking,jeeje. They just have to check my lungs and heart for some surgery I want/need to take (but I don’t talk about it yet, jejeje, bc I don’t want to jinx my luck,jejjje).TOMORROW I’LL BE SEEING NIALL!!!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!! How is your sister doing???? Jajajjajaja I’m so nervous/excited!!!! Jekjdnffieornvonerv I did my nails this morning, and of course, I got and Irish flag on one of them,jajajaja.. I can’t wait anymoreeeeee. I hope I can take good videos,jajaja, and that we’re close enough to see his nostrils,🤣🤣🤣🤣.The most interesting thing of my week haven’t happened yet,jajaja. I’ll tell you everything on Sunday (bc Souter day I’ll be dead and have to work 😩😩😩).Tell your sister to have the time of her life. And ask her to FaceTime you for a bit so can see Niall at least!!(still wishing you could go too. Another time, I guess).Have a good day/weekend/week. And don’t stress yourself about answering.

Pd: for how long do you have exams? I hope it isn’t too long. Are they finals? (I know nothing about this 😅)

[growandrecover]

Idk if you're still active in this account but anyway. I was in quasi-recovery since Feb 2022 and I started real recovery and being committed in Feb/March 2023. I gained 3 pant sizes since then, and I stabilized in that weight months ago. I think I kinda plateaud. The thing is, I don't really trust continuing to eat what I want and as much as my body asks (the cravings and the extreme hunger have lowered a lot but I still feel like I'm eating too much and too many cravings for "bad food") I just feel like I'll keep gaining if I don't have any control over that. I also do moderate movement, like walking, dancing and some yoga/stretching when I feel like it and when I need a break for my mental health, but I don't do it everyday nor am I super consistent because burnout from a really stressful, busy and traumatic year leaves me tired and I just want to rest. I feel like I won't stop, like I haven't plateaud and I will continue to gain.

I've always had wide hips, really big thighs and big arms so it's already kinda tricky finding some clothes in shops. I'm scared of not being able to fit in airplane sits, that I will just have a worse life due to gaining more weight, because no amount of self-acceptance denies that you're treated less like a human depending on how big you are. I feel way better since I started recovery but societal fatphobia and my fear of gaining weight make me anxious and scared. I also fear I will never find love. I'm learning to love myself and I don't base my self-worth on a romantic partner, but I still want to experience genuine love in which someone actually loves my body, and that my body won't be an impediment to have a partner (i'm bi). I'm also desperate everyday to know if I'll lose overshoot, I hope so but I fear it won't happen. I have made a lot of progress with food but I fear it will be hijacked due to these problems. I feel like my body works against me. I just want to be normal, and I feel like I'll never be if I gain more.

I know this is a lot but I'm desperate and I've had an extremely rough year, I really don't have anyone to talk about this. I hope you have some advice. Thanks for reading me ❤️

Hi, anon.

Let me start off by saying how proud I am of you. Not only for being in recovery, but for being aware enough of your body's tolerance levels and being able to limit your exercise. That's so amazing, I'm really happy for you.

About your weight gain, I'd say that since you've plateaued, you should be able to continue eating what you've been eating. If your body is craving certain things, it's probably trying to tell you that you're not getting enough of whatever it is. Craving "bad foods" (there's also no such thing as good and bad foods, they all nourish your body and keep you going, but I get your point) might mean that you're missing certain things like fats, salt, sugar, etc.

As for the clothing, lots of things in stores aren't designed for some body types. I've always had a hard time with jeans, even before my ed. My size would fit me in the thighs, but be too big everywhere else. It's really all dependent on the designer. If you can, try not to let that get you down. Maybe you could google some brands that work for other people with your body type, and try those out and see if they fit you better.

Gaining weight is a huge fear factor in the recovery process, and your fears are completely valid. Unfortunately, you're right. People do treat people differently based on how they look. But you know what? People that are worth your time, love, and attention won't care about what you look like, or what size you are (the sizing is all a joke anyways). I know that sometimes stuff like that is hard to take because your initial reaction may be, "Yeah, right. That does nothing for me.", but it's true. I've been lucky enough to have people in my life that don't judge me based on my body or appearance, but lots of people don't share that. You will find a partner who will love every single inch of your body, and won't care if it changes. I've felt the exact same way (and sometimes I still do), but I can guarantee you that the perfect person will come along and adore you for you.

Also, the people who go along with societal pressures, like judging others for who they are, and what they look like, are most likely insecure themselves. Seeing people be who they are, and not ashamed of themselves makes some people angry. You have no control over that. If some people don't accept you for your body, that's okay. Sometimes I think about all the people I've seen be body shamed online. People will dislike you for anything. They'll hate you for being too thin, too "average", or too big. There's quite literally no winning here. If you try to care a little bit less about how others perceive your body, you'll be much happier, I promise.

A big turning point for me was realizing that no matter what size I was, pre-ed, during my ed, and during the first part of recovery, I didn't like the way I looked. So I might as well pick the choice that let me live with as little food restrictions as possible, right?

You *have* made a lot of progress with food, and you should be proud of that. The things that you're doing aren't hijacking your accomplishments. Recovery isn't linear. You're going to have bad times with your body and food, but you've still made wonderful achievements. And you *are* normal. Your size doesn't determine who you are. It can feel like it, for sure. But as an outside party, you're normal. Your mind is telling you you're not, and society may be as well. But as another person with an ed, as another human, you're normal, and you're perfect just the way you are.

I really hope this helps, and best of luck to you in your recovery. You're doing beautifully.

If you need someone to talk to, you can message me if you'd like, anon. <3 Or if you'd rather stay anonymous, you can just send more asks if that works better for you!!