#simsons sweater

[believemetheodore]

Northern Attitude pt. 3

Ted Lasso x Rebecca Welton

Divorce is hard. it doesn't matter if you're the one who got left, or you're the one doing the leaving. When an unexpected blizzard puts a dangerous twist in Ted's hiking adventures he's rescued by an axe-wielding, lumber-chopping, blonde angel. Oh, and there's only one bed.

Warnings: divorce mentions, mentions of Ted's dad, implied sex, let me know if you want me to add anything.

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Ted lets himself relax. He manages to sink into his gut instinct and accept this moment in time for what it's worth. He does his best to ignore the itching at the back of his mind begging him to think about the future and recall his past. 

He doesn't care to consider the could-bes and the maybes, he doesn't want to draw comparisons to mistakes and regrets where there are none. 

So, he doesn't mention it when Rebecca scoots closer to him on the couch. neither of them says a thing when they catch the other staring. 

And when Rebecca takes their mugs to the kitchen and says, “Ted, would you like to come upstairs with me?” 

Ted replies, “would you like me to come upstairs with you?” His feet lead the way to meet her at the foot of the staircase. Her kiss is an invitation he’s glad to accept.

His first kiss had taken him by surprise. He was 12 and at sleepaway camp and an unsanctioned game of spin the bottle. Jenny Simson. She was 13 and he’d been crushing on her all summer. It was quick and on the corner of his mouth, his cheek more than anything. But, they held hands during marshmallow roasts and teamed up for travel pairs in the remaining weeks of camping fun.

  He had a girlfriend in high school, Kim Banks, it lasted a couple of months but sometimes real life gets in the way. Puppy love isn’t built to last, and neither of them had been sure how to navigate the sudden death of his father. It fizzled out in silence, without any real conversation, or decision. One day they were, and then one day they weren’t. But both of them understood, and for the most part, there were no hard feelings when she dropped off his letterman jacket, and a condolence casserole her mother had made for his mom. 

In college there were flings. Hook-ups at parties, and fleeting flirtations with a couple of guys and gals, but nothing stuck until he met Michelle. It’s strange, he thinks how in the moment it’s so easy to expect something to last forever simply because it’s lasted the longest. At 16 he had assumed he might marry Kim. And when he married Michelle, he thought they’d be together for the rest of their lives. That’s what he had promised her. 

There’s a level of peace that comes with knowing that maybe Rebecca is really just a moment of peace. A reset for both of them. A reprieve from the anxieties they’ve both been carrying. It’s not what he was expecting when he planned this vacation, but he tries not to overthink it. 

In the morning, he wakes before Rebecca. Tired, but in a good way. He’s careful to tuck the blankets around Rebecca’s sleeping form when he slips from the bed. Collecting and folding the clothes they shed between the floors. He makes her a cup of tea and insists she stays in her warm bed while he worries about fixing up some breakfast for them. Toast and omelettes. They enjoy their meal in the sunlight pouring through the window. 

Rebecca wrapped up in the duvet, Ted in boxers and a wool sweater. What a pair they make. 

“I was thinking--” “Oh no,” Ted smirks. Rebecca only rolls her eyes before continuing. “I feel bad that you missed out on half of your trip. So, I’ve decided to show you around for your last day here”. 

It’s an offer too good to refuse. He can see the underlying nervousness in her proposition. The shadow of a fear he can’t pretend he knows anything about lingers behind her eyes as she waits for his response. Ted doesn’t leave her hanging and is equally as relieved as he is concerned when relief washes over her face. 

Ted wonders silently if she might be as afraid of intruding in his life as he is of overstepping in hers. It’s a tricky line to walk, especially now that they’ve blurred it. 

It’s not like it’s the first one-night stand he’s ever had. They’ve left him feeling queasy in the past, unsure of how to proceed when all was said and done. Here in Rebecca’s bed, he finds himself dizzy for the opposite reason. He wants more, and he doesn’t know what that means, or what it would look like. 

What he does know is that Rebecca has allowed him to revisit the parts of his head, and heart he’d thought he’d locked the door on forever. Condemned spaces, suddenly relit. Unknowingly, she’s gifted him a new perspective; a new outlook and conclusions he might never have come to if he’d completed this trip alone. There’s a hope that’s humming in the back of his mind now. A reminder that endings are often beginnings. 

It’s not love by any means. He’s not so naive as to believe in love at first sight, but he does believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything they’ve talked about has been surface-level. Cursory, and friendly. But there’s a desire to know more, and he finds that he dreads, as much as he covets, the shimmers of untold stories beneath the surface of her words. Ted wants to hear all of the stories that have been kept untold. He wants to fumble his way through re-learning how to open up, himself. 

There's hope that these few days aren’t all they get. Ted feels like he’s clinging on, holding tight to the hours of daylight burning while they pretend to ignore it. Regardless of whether he sees her again, Rebecca has left a mark on his life. 

Ted has no problem thanking her to the best of his abilities. Deciding that leaning in for a kiss is worth the risk. Rebecca makes quick work of his T-shirt and sweater, pulling him closer. The world can wait for another roll in the sheets.

He's never felt quite like this before, untethered from his own reality, yet far more grounded than he's been in weeks. It's easy to dedicate all of his attention to Rebecca. Learning all he can about her in their limited time. He commits every moment to memory. 

There's nowhere else he'd rather be, and he feels so for wondering when the last time he found himself so affected around Michelle was. He loved Michelle, and he cherishes every moment he had with her. Even the painful bits. 

But he has to admit there were days he knew she didn't feel the same. Good days started to become more routine than passion, or desire. Michelle’s affections felt more dutiful, and he could see her trying to find her way back to him. Ted broke his own heart going through the motions, too desperate to just let her go. He sees their paths clearly now, but the sting of the separation hangs around. 

He won't compare Michelle and Rebecca. He's too much of a gentleman, and a firm believer in the philosophy that all people are different people. There's nothing to compare. It’s not a matter of better or worse. But, it’s nice to feel wanted for the sake of being wanted; to crave for the sake of craving. He savours it. 

Freshly showered, and filled with glee, It’s bittersweet spending the day bundled up in all his layers again, his backpack heavy with all his belongings. The weight of the reminder that this is his last day in the peaceful bubble he’d stumbled upon with Rebecca. Knowing he’s got to say goodbye at the end of the trail makes his chest feel tight. It feels something like regret and a longing for more. It’s selfish and he tries to push it down. 

Their shoulder bump as they walk side by side up the trail, fingers brushing, and Ted does his best to sort his thoughts and feelings, in an attempt to understand what this week means for him. 

Rebecca hikes him up to the highest peak he would’ve made it to had he continued up the trail without tumbling down the hill. And she marches him down off the beaten path, showing him streams and the tallest trees. After a stop for lunch, she shows him down a detour route and they stand at the edge of a frozen lake. He squints, just barely able to make out her cabin on the other side. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” “Sure is,” Ted sighs. 

Glancing to his right, through the trees he can see the parking lot in the distance. Rebecca is already looking at him when he turns to her. 

“I wish we had more time,” she says. “I think you have to click your heels and say it three times for it to work, Dorothy,” Ted smiles, but he knows his eyes betray him. He doesn’t do melancholy well. 

His joke makes her laugh though, and that’s good enough for him. The way she tilts her head back, her cheeks pink with the effort of grinning so big. He hopes she laughs often. “Can I kiss you goodbye? Or is that crossing some kind of boundary--” “Yes,” she says. “Because I completely understand if you want to leave this cut and dry. I’ll just skedaddle--” “Ted, I think you should stop talking and kiss me”. 

So he does. 

The drive home takes several hours, but it feels like ten minutes. His mind is on autopilot, floating somewhere up on cloud 9, and he can’t help but think that things are more complicated now than before he went away. 

In the morning, in his own bed, he reaches out half awake for a body to hold. It’s been ages since he’s caught himself doing that. He thinks about Rebecca, rolling over to catch some more sleep before his alarm goes off. Back at work, Beard sets down his book to give Ted his full attention, “Your problem is, you’re just a hopeless romantic”. Ted sighs, slouching down into his swivel chair. “There is beggary in love that can be reckoned,” Beard quotes. “Twelfth night?” “Antony and Cleopatra. The point is you gotta stop trying to wrap your head around it. I don’t know who you met, or what you got up to, but thinking about it is only going to taint it. Let it be what it was”. Ted considers his friend’s words, before nodding. Let it be what it was. 

“Now, how was the hiking?” Beard asks.

[alissa-verj]

Bart Simson Sweater *klick*

Black Velvet Skirt *klick*