#simonmw2

[johanthedigitalartist]

My personal Realistic Simon “Ghost” Riley headcanons (remake)

To be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve posted my own content on Tumblr. I think I might’ve mischaracterized Simon a little bit at least in my opinion, so here is a remake of my realistic, Simon “ghost” Riley head cannons. (Not proof read and was written at the peak of dawn with 0 sleep, mistakes or ramblimg will be adjusted and fixed later)

Trigger warnings: mentions of disordered eating, mental illness, brief mention of childhood abuse, small mention of gore.

Simon ghost, Riley is an internal person who struggles with bottling up his emotions, he doesn’t often allow himself to be vulnerable around other people but he has exceptions. them being Gary “Roach” Sanderson and Johnny “Soap” MacTavish. The two people he is closest to and loves dearly.

Simon often has panic attacks and flashbacks of his childhood trauma. whenever he’s doing something casual or he’s out in the field something, anything can remind him of his experiences both in and out of the military.

Simon doesn’t often look at himself in mirrors. he doesn’t think he’s ugly, as he is very confident in his appearance, but occasionally he will find himself feeling insecure about the scars that he has gotten from his past and time in the military.

Simon has insomnia, so he sometimes tends to struggle with falling asleep, or even staying asleep. He has many methods of getting himself to sleep when it’s needed. Often using tactics he’s learned in his time of service.

Simon is extremely trusting of his teammates going as far as removing his skull balaclava around them often. He likes wearing it as the balaclava provides a sense of safety and security. He has facial scars, but Simon wears it to remain anonymous.

He likes appearing tough and strong, but in reality, he is gentle and compassionate outside of his job. He often tends to display this towards his teammates and loved ones. Those who know him would describe Simon as a “giant teddy bear”. Simon is in no way afraid to cry but prefers to cry by himself, rather than others witnessing it.

He often considers ghosts his persona, a split personality of sorts that he displays on the job seeming quick-witted and calculating. Simon likes to crack, dark jokes with his teammates for fun and has a dad’s sense of humor.

Simon is very vocal and honest about his boundaries and will not hesitate to tell someone off if they’re crossed or ignored.

Simon has a long history of mental illness. Some were hereditary and others gained from his rough childhood. Including PTSD, Depressive episodes, anxiety, paranoia ETC.

He fears losing people he cares about which stems from the abuse he endured as a child. It sometimes makes him come off as harsh and overprotective to his teammates. Simon is clean yet at the same time tends to forget to care for or prioritize himself and his needs. He even engaged in behaviors of self-harm whether it was cutting, scratching, self-sabotage, or even something as simple as overly hot showers. He often finds himself looking after others in some way. On the bright side uses his love for the job and team as a motivation when things get tough again. He is in no way healed but he’s wise enough to know better than to let mental illness dictate his life.

Simon has a bad habit of chewing his nails and picking at scars. He’s very internal with his anxiety and even when he has panic attacks, he tries his best to avoid his team noticing for fear of worrying them. He often wishes that he had a normal, happy childhood, and never experienced the pain of being hung by the Ribs. The wound never fully healed because he kept tearing and reopening it the memories haunting him to the core.

Simon both hates and loves physical touch, he is touch-starved even. Allowing physical touch only to those he’s close to. He gets overstimulated at times, when that happens, he enjoys words of affirmation or small shoulder pads. (Price pats him like a father whose afraid Simon will maul his hand off) he honestly enjoys the contrast of his team and their love languages.