#simon not only fighting to remain lucid but also remain as Himself

[thecrimsonjaguar]

Adventure Time au where the crown actually turns the wearer into Evergreen.

[yanderedbh-moved]

This post was a tag-game sort of thing started by a major inspiration of mine, and a serious blog recommendation @dear-yandere ! Odds are if you follow this account then you’ve come across at least a few posts of theirs before, but if you haven’t, check out their account! This was just a fun little post I wanted to finish before the end of the year, I’m using the original categories in the original post, ass well as adding a few more so all the characters I write for will be featured here. (Here’s a link to the original post for any other writers interested in this tag, it was a lot of fun, and it didn’t take too long to fill out, so give it a shot!^^)

Most Delusional: Ralph

Not at all a difficult decision here, unfortunately. While he may not have always been the scatterbrained and nervous recluse, he is in the game. The severity of the psychological and physical damage leaves Ralph as easily the most detached of all the characters. Resulting in him living in his own little world to cope with the harsh reality of life. In how this extends to him is a yandere, Ralph sees the two of you as star-crossed lovers living in your own oasis in a life away from the other cruel people of the world. No matter how many times you try to run away from him.

Most Manipulative: Josh

This category likely doesn't seem quite as evident as Ralph's. However, when it comes to exploring Josh is a yandere and less so his character, this adds up if you think about it. Obviously, as a character who represents the path of peace and nonviolence, Josh would be the type of yandere who will never use violence to control you. Instead using his words of persuasion on you. One of his most prevalent modes which to control you include persuading you to remain loyal to him alone because going against him would be like turning your back on the piece itself.

Most Sadistic: Zlatko

Unique from nearly every other yandere mentioned here who would, to some extent, feel remorseful for having to hurt you or your loved ones as punishment for rejecting their love, Zlatko would honestly feel a sort of obligation to cause you pain. The reason here being he doesn't see your relationship as a loving connection between two equals. Instead, you're more like his own personal test subject. The more he hurts you, the more he can learn about you, and that's how the relationship grows. In a way, Zlatko has abnormal ownership over your pain. It's something special to him. Only he deserves to see you screaming in agony teary-eyed and entirely at his mercy.

Most Protective: Kara

This woman is protective to a fault and nothing less. Kara sees herself as the only one in your life who knows you well enough to properly look out for your well-being, Kara hates when you try to distance yourself from her or if she feels as though other people are posing as a threat to the relationship. All she wants is for the two of you to remain loyal together forever. If you would only stop trying to fight her on this and let her keep you safe and happy when you'd see why the two of you were made for each other.

Most Obsessive: Markus

When Markus first falls for you, it was new for him and, as a result, left him feeling less in control around you as he typically would around others the way of a first crush often leaves just about anyone. However, as more time passes between the two of you and a genuine relationship begins to form, Markus would feel a significant change around you. No longer does he feel so insecure and nervous but rather powerful, passionate, dominant, and the most addictive feeling of all in control. Markus would begin to obsess over this relationship because he views it as something which provides some strength and power. And for a man with such a weight on his shoulders, Markus would take whatever source of energy he could even if that means keeping you under the tightest of control.

Most Possessive: North

Driven and feisty as a fighter North can't help but allow these traits to manifest themselves and her love life as well. North isn't the one to take things slow and settle to be just your friend. She's a lady who knows what she wants when she sets her sights on you is over. North is terrified of the idea of losing you to another human. Considering how hard it is for her to take a chance with someone and allow herself to be vulnerable and loving with someone in the first place, this relationship is to be protected at all costs. It's hard for her to keep you so entirely under her control when she knows how awful it is to live like this, unfortunately for the time being North doesn't know what else to do. As much as she loves you and will keep you happy, there's no way for North to fully prevent her hatred for humans from manifesting in this relationship.

Most Lucid: Nines

In a word, his character could be described as decisive. The ideal android in its purest form. Uncorruptable, unscrupulous, unflinching. Even a love-struck Nines would behave wildly different compared to other yanderes. Rather than allowing these new and overwhelming feelings to control him, Nines woldn't take that chance and would force you to live by his command. There is no way to compromise or to bargain with him, to let you go or to spare you. To Nines, it's just too high a risk to allow you to walk free again. Nines is a skillful and season hunter, and you are his most prized of prey.

Most Submissive: Chloe

When it comes to the way Chloe feels so weak and emotional and powerless around you, it's nothing short of addictive to her. Unlike many other yanderes who would act violently or cruelly as a precaution around their obsession to keep you under their control. Chloe would never even think to hurt you without reason. Chloe adores how human and real she feels as she goes to the emergence of developing her first-ever crush and never wants these feelings to go away.  Chloe would rather cling to your side and give you no reason to ever suspect she means you any harm or has any other ulterior motives. Reluctant: Luther Despite the fact, Luther was created to act as a violent and ruthless attack dog, that doesn't mean Luther wants to behave that way around you as a way to keep you by his side. In his eyes, it was a miracle he ever escaped from that life in the first place. It hurts to resort to violence in the name of keeping you safe. More often than not, Luther will provide you with a warning before lashing out that you know what he's capable of. If you keep trying to fight back against him, then he won't trust himself to hold back against you. It is indeed quite dangerous to put the fear of losing you against the fear of his own violence for Luther, and more likely than not the both of you will suffer the consequences of this derision.

Most Jealous: Gavin

Don't ever underestimate the way jealousy will cause people to act irrationally. In the mind of the genuinely envious, it's everyone in the world against them and, by extension, if they want to look out for themselves, then they must take whatever they can before it's gone forever. Before someone else gets it first. If Gavin wants a relationship with you and he has no choice but to make sure that he's the only person in your life. Aside from the jealousy, Gavin is something of a misanthrope which gives him all the more reason to separate you from others. On the one hand, because he doesn't want anyone else to convince you to leave him but also Gavin worries that you and leave him all alone.

Most Deceptive: Connor

Deceptiveness isn't too far from the lucid category; however, several key differences result in two different superlatives. Connor is more likely to act perceptively and gather much more information he can on his target before making a judgment on how to respond. Connor would at least try to get close to you on his own and would try to give a healthy relationship a chance. Any yandere-Esque tendency flare-ups he would playoff as not knowing any better. Or would use any other possible alibies first so he can keep you from suspecting anything of him. Because he wouldn't want to act before thinking first, he can easily use alibies to keep other's suspicions down and to keep and to keep them from believing you over him.

Most Controlling: Kamski

There was never any chance the two of you could have shared a regular healthy relationship for the moment he developed feelings for you. No way could someone with an inflated sense of ego like Kamski would view the relationship as one between two equals and not one between a superior and lesser. Kamski lives so separately from other humans he has no desire to live by anyone else's terms but his own, and it's very likely for the longest time Elijah never saw himself as sharing a relationship with another. Not when he lives with the Chloes that can function as a source of companionship and sexual gratification. But when he falls for you, Elijah is overwhelmed and feels as though he's never really been another before. Can't see what at the end of the day see you as one which would serve to gratify his own needs a little more than that. The idea of you rebelling and trying to become anything more than that is unspeakable to him.

Most Emotional: Daniel

For the longest time, Daniel never imagined he would want to share a relationship with a human, considering how he was burned so hard the last time. But when he falls for you, he can't help feel a sense of optimism and wonders if he's once again found a human he can trust enough to reach out and become attached to. And this is all well and good for the time truly difficult, and toxic relationships are tricky to ever fully recover from. The scars of old memories are still sore. Daniel isn't so well equipped to handle the sore spots in a relationship resulting in impulsive, emotional outbursts. At these moments, Daniel is at his worst and most dangerous.

Most Nervous: Simon

Similar to the reluctant category but not quite. The hesitant yandere would feel painful remorse for their own actions. Simon is more nervous because he fears what you would do if you ever saw him for exactly who he is. There's a nagging voice in the back of his head which warns him over he's in over his head. If you were to ever escape, you would ruin everything he has in his life, leaving him with no choice but to keep you entirely to himself. He's guided by fear first and foremost, and this is why he acts so secretively.

Most Selfish: Hank

It was a grave Injustice the day Hank lost his son. Rather than genuinely coming to terms with his own misery here and hoping to move on, Hank chose instead to develop an unhealthy attachment to you. Forever stuck in the grieving and self-serving mindset rather than allowing himself to move on. Hank keeps you in his life because without you, there nothing would distract him from his own sadness, and this is just too bleak a reality for him to ever face. Even if this hurts, he can't bring himself to ever do what's right and let you go.

[lamalefix]

Pulvis et umbra natura renovantur integra - ch. 3

read this work on ao3

[ch1; ch2]

  The silence that follows his statement doesn’t surprise him that much. Perhaps saying it aloud was a bad idea, because now Magnus could swear to hear the sound of his own heart rumbling in the corridor, resonating between the walls.

He knows, what it means to be hunted by the Clave. All the Downworlders know it, many can say that they have undergone terrible treatments, if not tortures, in certain dark centuries in which the Nephilim used the heads of warlocks and werewolves, mainly, as terrible decorative choices for their walls. Stuffed with straw like animals that you could find in a taxidermy. There are those who might say they didn’t risk their skin, not having fight openly against the Shadowhunters, to see their rights recognized, in a peace of paper that wasn’t really a peace. And Accords after Accordss, somehow, they have arrived at a sort of stasis. And then there was Alec who changed everything.

Here, however, what is happening in that cell is a transformation that the Clave can’t accept. A transformation that probably also crosses that thin line between the possible and the impossible that legends are. Legends like them.

If the Clave discovered what’s happening to Alec, especially in this moment of change, in this moment in which progress is being made and peace is not just a side note, something that is present only on paper and is enshrined in the Accords, now that Nephilim and their minds are changing, now that their ideas are changing, if the Clave discovers that Alec is becoming something different, something that isn’t included in their usual categorization, he would be taken and thrown into the darkest of prisons; and that change that his life, his personality is bringing would end up in oblivion.

The Clave would hunt him down, lock him up and study him in every part. And Magnus doesn’t want to think about the specific name of this practice, that the thought alone sends a chill down his spine. And then he clenches his fists and holds his breath and tries not to look at the young, so very young Nephilim in front of him. It’s indeed a good thing that the Angel allows the ascension of very few of them, and that in that Institute there is only the Lightwood family and their immediate kinsmen: the hunt is not open yet and with a little luck, and many spells, maybe Magnus can still find a solution.

A dull and piercing cry from the cell calls him back from his thoughts. He must hurry. He moves again to gain that thick runed door. The steps that become heavy like his thoughts.

Isabelle’s voice stops him, though. “What's going on, Magnus?”.

And he doesn’t know whether to turn around, if he is stretching a half smile. He just shrugs.

“Isn't this your magic?” Simon asks, and maybe it’s not a question it’s a statement. “I thought he had activated the Alliance rune, really... I thought... I don't know, it seemed like your magic.” he then murmurs and takes a long, loud gulp from his cup of coffee.

And it’s at that point that Magnus turns around and wants to ask him more information about it but Simon continues.

“I didn’t even realize you were on the ground, it seemed like you were fighting with him... I wrote this in the report. He was all zap, bang, slam, chop” he keeps saying waving his hand. “He seemed to be fighting with you by his side”.

“I also thought the same, that he had activated the rune, in the end it seemed to make sense, doesn't it?” Jace nods . “When he reached you, then, it’s like he gave you back the magic... I don’t know if it sounds right…”.

Magnus remains speechless for a moment. It isn’t strange that they don’t know it, that legend. It’s older than Elphas the Unsteady in person, so it’s easy to assume it got lost in popular folklore stories and disappeared almost completely from Clave’s records. Ragnor had a theory: some of the warlocks who fought the demons and who disappeared into oblivion, were through and through mundane and not some demon spawn. But before he can begin to tell the legend there is something else that gets his attention: Alec used magic, he used a magic that was certainly not Magnus’ own, and he used it there on the battlefield. “Impossible.” he finally says, the heavy tone that perhaps doesn't even make the idea of how serious this thing is. It could have been an eventuality if that fog wasn’t there, if those lightning bolts didn’t cross the darkness in that cell, if Magnus hadn’t been on the ground, more dead than alive.

“Impossible?” Jace repeats .

Magnus turns his eyes, sighing. It’s too late. He can only look for a way to slow down the process, he can no longer avoid it. Maybe, maybe he can find a way to make it less painful, to make it less terrible for Alec. If he has already used magic, it’s too late. The runes will disappear. Or maybe his body won’t hold the transformation. Too much eventuality, too little time.

“Magnus?” Isabelle calls him making him come to his senses.

“My magic was─I was dying. That wasn’t my magic. And he... he─” Magnus shakes his head and freezes. He must have the certainty, weighted and perfect, he can’t say it aloud because it’s even scary to think of it. “Stay out of it, okay? It’s useless for you to enter,” he adds and gives them a sufficiently eloquent look. “Right now it's dangerous”.

“But you should rest,” Simon replies, a bit worried. “I mean Catarina said it. And we all know she’ll kick our asses, in the least figurative way, if you don't”.

Magnus gives him a smile. And he doesn’t even know how convincing it can be. “I’m the only one who can help him, though. I try not to die in the process, okay? It would be a pity to throw away all the precious energy that Isabelle gave me”.

“Explain, please.” says Isabelle. And it looks like a prayer. “Tell us, tell us what’s going on”.

Magnus sucks a breath between his clenched teeth, the pain radiating from his chest isn’t only physical, it is more emotional. It’s as if his heart was gripped in a vice, bloody and violent.

How could he explain what’s going on inside that cell, or more precisely inside Alexander?

With all his enormous property of language, with all the languages he knows, he wouldn’t be able to explain it even with all his good will. He would translate it into a handful of words: it’s a big fucking mess.

He swallows, crushes the tongue on the palate. And his mouth tastes ferrous and kneaded by blood and tiredness, he rubs the tip of his tongue between his teeth.

“Magnus? Can you explain?” Isabelle asks.

He moistens his lips nervously, clenches a fist and sighs again, trying to ignore the other twinge of pain that climbs up his rib cage. “Alec is... changing, okay?” he says looking at the sister of his love, and trying to make this step as painless as possible. “Please think carefully about what happened, don’t call anyone, don’t report ... not until I can stabilize this situation and I can give you some more reliable information. Because this thing, if that’s what I think, has never happened before, or at least not that there is someone besides one of the ancient warlocks, and some long-lived fae that really has memory of it”.

“Magnus…” she keeps saying, her big dark eyes fixed on his, and then she shakes her head. She doesn’t need to say anything else. It says be careful, that look, it says save him, it says help him. Please. Please. Please. And many other things.

Magnus just tilts his head a little and then looks at Jace.

“I'll go in too,” he says, handing Clary his coffee . “I am coming in with you, he’s my responsibility. He’s my parabatai”.

Magnus moves his hand to open the cell door. “If it gets bad, get out. Immediately. I have to look after him, I can’t worry for you too”.

A swirl of black fog invades the corridor. Magnus remains motionless for a moment, the wave of negative emotions slapping his face. The darkness is dense and thick and tarnishes his eyes. It weighs on him like the heat in August. It sticks his clothes, like mud.

Magnus then moves one step and then another. Jace moving behind him closes the cell door.

It’s hard to breathe in there, and if Magnus hadn’t inherited his eyes from his father, those eyes that he so despises on certain days, he wouldn’t know how to orient himself in that black fog.

Jace is behind him, his senses enchanted and enhanced by the runes are certainly more useful than expected at this moment. “We didn't close him in here,” he says suddenly, the voice that sounds hesitant like a whisper. “He came here of his own free will...”.

Magnus nods his head. It was to be expected from Alec. He was probably sufficiently lucid to understand that something wasn’t going well inside him. Locking himself up there was the most sensible choice he could make: to minimize the danger for those around him.

Something moves in the darkness, a black shadow, which has appendages, legs and arms, a head and a thick puff of something blacker than the mist, it’s clearly the indomitable hair in which Magnus loves to slide his fingers, it moves. Lightning bolting from one side of the cell to the other. The grunts, the growls grow louder and deeper, vibrate between the stone walls of the cell.

There is a smell of blood, in there, of sulphur and ichor.

Alexander is clearly hurt, and even from how his breathing breaks, it is clear that he is badly injured. But he continues to move in the darkness, jumping from side to side, perhaps he is trying to protect himself.

Clary said that Alec doesn’t want Jace there, judging by how angry he was when his parabatai asked for Magnus’ help for that mission, maybe he can understand why he doesn’t want him in there.

Magnus clears his throat. “Alexander,” he calls him. His voice is soft, slow and sweet. And the black shadow seems to stop a few steps away from him. He can see his eyes shining in the black mist, only the irises, which are of that deep blue, intense and lively. He seems to observe Magnus.

“Alec...” Jace begins to say. “We are here to help you”.

And Magnus doesn’t have time to react, to make him stop.

It is at that moment that the shadow is attracted by that other voice, the eyes move and then he seems to move back into the darkness. Something, a source of light, conveys itself in what Magnus has identified as Alec’s hand and a flash goes through the fog. Magnus moves quickly, to summon his own magic in such a way as to curb that destructive flash and limit the damage.

   The shock wave, carried in that fog, is so strong that it pushes Magnus back. The recoil was so hard that his whole body was pushed back from the wall, and his vision blurred again, the pain radiating from his back to his chest. He almost feels the ghost of that wound that crossed his torso from side to side, it’s burning in an impossible way, it breaks his breath. 

It’s all dark again for a moment.

But as soon as he hears that wailing groan again, Magnus gets a hold on himself. The same must have happened to Alec, and also to Jace, but at the moment he is the least of his problems in all honesty. And Magnus does everything to recover and get back on his feet, now he can’t see anything even with his eyes open, in that thick and dark fog. There is that annoying ringing in his ears and everything hurts again. He could swear he had the terrible, ferrous taste of blood in his mouth.

Heck.

He has no time for this.

It’s already late.

He tightens his eyelids a couple of times, heaving a painful sigh between his clenched teeth. “Alexander” he calls him again, and his voice comes out choked in his throat. The pain mounts in his trachea, and Magnus tries to swallow it, with the slight ferrous taste of the blood that sticks on his palate and between his teeth. He spits at the end and decides that he has no time even for himself, he can’t let the pain cloud his sight.

He refocuses everything, finally, as he tries to stand up. The black shadow, Alexander, is on the ground and it seems all sprawled, the legs intertwined and an arm covering its head. Magnus shifts his gaze and spots Jace’s hair, which in that darkness is greyish. So, he moves his hand to open the door and push the blond Shadowhunter out of the cell, then closes it again.

When he finally stands up, he takes a step, echoing back into the room, and then another. And everything hurts, and this bothers him a little. He must think clearly, he must help Alexander, yet that fog of pain has entered his head.

He closes his eyelids again, and when he opens them again, there is the shadow that observes him with those intense blue irises, he feels his warm breath colliding on his face.

“It's me, Alexander,” Magnus tells him again. “Nothing happened,” he adds, reducing the distance between them. “I know, I know it's scary, and it hurts but... I’m here now, and now it's all over”.

Perhaps, perhaps the best choice would be to use magic to put him to sleep, to calm him down, but in the first place he doesn’t know how he will behave when he will wake up, if he wakes up, he swallows this thought. Also, he doesn’t know how he will react to his magic again. And now they are so close that they would risk killing each other. And it’s certainly the last thing he wants.

Magnus then extends a hand, to pick up his face and when he touches it, Alec seems frightened by that very light touch, by that caress, but then he gives in, and moves his head leaning a bit closer. Finally, he seems to focus on the warlock, and the darkness begins to recede and thicken only around him, behind his shoulders, in his hands, around his ankles.

The air is no longer unbearable, it’s no longer heavy. There is still the smell of sulphur, blood and ichor, but finally it’s no longer so dark. On the walls start to emerge the signs of a battle, claws and anger that intertwine on the bare stone.

Alec seems to be coming back to himself. Although he’s still impossible to focus precisely, surrounded as he is by that black fog, but Magnus can look into his eyes. The sclera in his eyes is black, as well as the vitreous humour, but in the centre the intense blue colour of his irises still flashes.

The iris is crushed, then, and becomes nothing more than a thin blue frame as the pupil expands, and welcomes Magnus’ image.

Between Alec's fingers, a strange concentration of energy thickens again, which seems to glow in that black and unkempt mass of hair. And Magnus would like to comment, he would like to tell him that he is so cool, now that he has magic at his service, that his magic arrives to radiate in his hair. But if his hair permeates magic, though, they are definitely in deep shit. And Magnus isn’t strong enough to stop him. Not now.

So, he decides to caress his face, the gentle fingers rubbing his cheeks and finally, finally, Alec reacts in the way he expected, and finally seems to focus on him. He seems disoriented, scared and confused, but also a little relieved, reassured. He blinks and his eyes are still black like that dark fog, as if all those demons he killed had become part of his own nature, but he seems to see Magnus anyway. Somehow, he seems to be coming back to himself. The darkness is leaving his skin, that dark fog vanishes leaving that lunar pallor on his skin, the scars of the runes on him, are perfectly in place. Even his face seems to get back to normal, a mask of blood and ichor, but at least that veil of black mist has disappeared.

Again, a flash goes through the darkness that still comes from him, his eyes seem to dart like that puff of energy that rises between his hair and between his fingers.

“It's all right,” Magnus tells him, reducing the space between them even more, resting his lips on his forehead, just above the bridge of his nose, to kiss away that twisted expression he has. “It's all right, it's over. It's over” he repeats.

“Mags” hears him say, and the voice is hoarse and distorted and sounds like a sob.

“Yes,” hhe replies and looks back into his eyes. “It’s me, my love, let me help you”.

And Alec seems so relieved, almost happy. “Have you come pick me up?” he asks him with this voice that trembles, that breaks. That darkness still flashes in his eyes.

“To pick you up?” Magnus repeats. “To go where?”.

And Alec makes this little sad grimace, and it almost seems like a half bitter smile. “Away. With you”.

“And where would you like to go? You mean… like eloping?” he asks him and tries to make him smile, but he can’t. And meanwhile he does everything not to look down, to keep his eyes on him, to mirror himself in Alec’s irises and give him time to come to his senses.

“Can’t I go away with you?” he asks very quietly and looks so sad.

And Magnus reaches out to cup his cheek, barely smiles at him. “I'm here, I'm not going anywhere,” he says.

And Alec frowns and is about to say more, but a small sob escapes his throat, which then becomes a groan. And his lips tremble and his eyes seem to be full of tears, and the sclera is black and perhaps Magnus can swear he feels the fog again begin to envelop them.

“Alexander...” he calls him again, very softly. “Everything is alright, hm? I’m here, I’m a little bruised, but I’m fine, I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. Now let me help you, eh?”.

And Alec's lips are still twitching and then he sighs and moves slightly more towards Magnus. Reducing the already non-existent distance.

“It’s all right,” Magnus repeats. “It’s okay.” he nods and then decides it’s time to look down. 

Shredded clothes and that huge gash that starts at his right shoulder and reaches his left side. The smell of blood comes from him, from that and other wounds he has all over his body, on his forehead, on his hands and on his arms, perhaps even his legs and back are badly injured, and Magnus is not sure if he is only from that battle or that fighting that is infuriating inside himself. But he decides that it is not important, that if he has to save Alec he will use all the strength he has. All the energy left in his body. Because he must save hi,. “It's all right” he repeats and continues to hold his face in his hands, smiling a bit.

And Alec’s forehead, his eyebrows, his lips, everything on Alec’s face seems to contract in a grimace of pain before falling back forward. All the weight of his body on Magnus, who even if he is more than a bit battered, manages to support him. He does have to step back and bend a little to avoid tumbling over, but he is able to support him. And Magnus is still for a moment, only one, Alec’s full weight on him, which makes his legs wobble. But he feels him breathing, against him, he hears him moan very softly. He feels the heat that emanates from his body, the feverish warmth that comes from his neck, the sweat and blood that run down his face and fall onto Magnus’ shoulder. He tightens his grip more and moves a hand to open the cell with the blue fire of his magic. “A little help?” he asks quickly, as he squeezes Alec closer to him and tries to bring him into what was perhaps originally a bed, but now it’s only a frayed and battered mattress on which Alec has clearly rashed all his anger.

Jace is the first to return, and it shows that he struggles not to look at the ground or the walls. The marks of nailed, blood and ichor formed in little or large pools, the signs that left their shoes, around the floor, and the stains left by that black fog. Or maybe he does everything not to even look at Alec who physically collapsed in Magnus’ arms. And even when he reaches out to retrieve his brother, his parabatai, to carry him on that loose cot, his eyes seem to be clouded by an impossible pain.

But as soon as Jace puts him down, Alec has his eyes open again, for a moment he seems disoriented and another flash of magic vibrates between his fingers.

“Hey,” Magnus says picking up his hand, to get rid of the spark of magic, which burns his palm, like a sweltering ember. “Now, let me heal you, let me do it,” he adds, kissing the back of his hand.

And he keeps his eyes fixed on Alec’s for another moment, before looking down, on that enormous slash, which pumps blood and ichor and poison with his every breath.

And if he was even a little more lucid, Magnus would wonder how on earth he managed to stay alive until now. But certainly, he can’t fail to say he is happy to still have time. And he tries to ignore that little voice in his auricle, which then curls up in the brain and slips like a chill down his spine.

“It’s all right,” Magnus tells him, but perhaps these words are more for himself than for Alec.

Alec swallows, makes a tiny nod with his head, but continues to keep his eyes fixed on Magnus. “You're here,” he says and stretches his lips in a soft smile, a dull strangled groan escapes his teeth.

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” he replies. “Let me help you now, okay?”.

Alec seems confused again, when he opens his eyes and seems to finally realize that he doesn’t feel well. “It hurts” he murmurs.

“I know. I know, Alexander. Believe me,” he says again, kissing his fingers now, which are tightly clenched on Magnus’ hand. “But now I'm here, and everything will be fine. I promise”.

Alec looks at him for a moment and then seems satisfied with what Magnus told him. He smiles slightly, this very weak but happy smile. “You're alive, you're alive”.

“Yes, you are too,” Magnus says, very softly, smiling. “Don’t worry now, okay? Me and Jace are here to help you”.

Alec frowns. And a bolt of energy goes up on top of his head.

“I know you’re a bit upset with Jace, but if the runes can help us heal you faster, we have to try, okay?” He adds, running his fingers through his hair, staring at that flash of magical energy that seems to flicker back there. “Everything is alright”.

“You? Are you okay?” he asks very softly, his eyes seem clouded by pain, fatigue.

“Yes, of course I’m fine, can’t you see me? I’m fine, just let me help you...” he adds, stopping his hand at the edge of his forehead, between two wounds that will probably leave their mark. It’s hot.

“You were dead.” he murmurs, with this heavy broken voice. “I saw you die... I couldn’t do anything for─I… I thought you─” he bites his lips, full and velvety, and tries to hold back a sob.

Magnus decides to hold that hand on his forehead to lighten his pain, and the other will be enough to heal him. “You won’t get rid of me that easily, my darling” he replies, smiling very soft. “Let me heal you at least a little bit, you have a high fever and... you’re just not in your best shape, eh? We will talk, and make out as soon as we both feel better”.

Alec half-closes his eyes. “You’ll stay here, right? You won’t leave, will you?”.

“Never, I’ll never go away,” Magnus tells him and casts an eloquent glance at Jace, who takes his stele and moves to draw a single rune, iratze, a couple of inches above that big gash.

Iratze will relieve Alec’s pain, while Magnus draws the blue fire of his magic between his fingers. Healing magic isn’t easy, and it isn’t his specialty but, for now, Magnus’ abilities must be enough, at least to remove all the ichor and the demon poison that has certainly now mixed with his blood.

Alec moans, again, but he doesn’t say anything, he keeps his eyes half-open fixed on Magnus. That black mist that only a few minutes ago darkened his eyes now a distant memory.

There is friction, that thing, that internecine war, that is inside Alec is rejecting Magnus’ magic, even if he lets it flow gently, so very cautiously on him. “Allow me to help you, Alexander, please” he sighs, bending down again to kiss his forehead. “Allow me, Alexander, I’ll make you feel better. I promise”.

It’s only when Alec sighs louder, his chest wiggling, that Magnus can finally act and suck away the ichor, the poison from that enormous wound and all the others. 

It’s certainly not a conscious process, the one with which Alec was rejecting him and his blue healing fire, probably he didn’t even realize that something was pushing away Magnus’ magic, but if he managed to control this innate response, there are good hopes.

Perhaps, perhaps he knows Magnus’ magic well enough to be able to dose even what now burns in his veins. Maybe Magnus can afford to hope a little more.

Alec tightens his jaw and moves his head, wrinkles his nose and uncovers his teeth in a pained grimace.

Magnus then moves a hand to try to ease that pain, passing his fingers through Alec’s hair again, while with the other continues to wipe away the poison from his body.

From time to time he feels a bit of friction with that thing that Alec has in his body, and it is perhaps that kind of magic, of new essence that leaks into every cell, rather than the poison of a demon that makes it more painful. But iratze seems to help the healing process, it seems to alleviate his pain at the second activation and so Magnus orders Jace to activate the other one, sangliers , to replace the lost blood alongside the one now rotted by the poison. 

This won’t be enough, because now Alec’s body is affected by that internecine war not only by the wounds and the poison and the blood loss, and Magnus will only be able to ease his pain, with as much energy he has stored.

The rest of the healing process, soon enough, will be up to Alec alone.

Please, Magnus asks the Angel or whatever energy lies above their heads, or under their feets, please let him live. Don't take him.

And then moves his eyes and looks at Alec’s pained grimace, his forehead furrowed, sweat and blood covered. And decides he has to ask Alec, and not some Gods, Angels or Saints, nor Demons. No one in heaven or hell cares for this, for his life. Don’t leave me, he asks silently. Don’t.

[ch4]