#simon basset's home for dysfunctional children

[sea-owl]

Some of my favorite scenarios for spouses found family is when Lady Danbury is sick of Simon's shit and says, "You know what you little shit, you're getting new siblings."

It starts with Gareth. Lady Danbury wanted her grandson out of the St Clair house, but for one reason or another, she couldn't show her favoritism towards Gareth. So to Simon he goes with a note telling Simon to be a good influence. Take him traveling since neither of you want to be near your fathers, and teach him all you know. Don't teach him to be a rake! (That fails too easily)

And okay, Simon can do this. Right? How hard can one child be? I mean, it's not like Gareth is a whole baby. It's awkward at first but Simon can gets the hang of it.

Then Lady Danbury starts sending more new kids to Simon. He recognizes some of the last names like Stirling and Featherington. He wonders how the hell his aunt managed to get them under her/his care. (He later learns all of them were sent to Lady Danbury because she promised their families she help get them ready for when it was time for them to be launched into society.) Simon begins to notice a pattern too. Was his aunt purposefully finding kids with family issues? Was she trying to make sure he had some in common with them?

God help Simon, he starts to care about them. Despite all of them being a pain in his ass.

Then Simon turns around and oh no he has suitors trying to call on some of his wards no matter what country they're in.

Imagine Simon writing to Anthony in a panic because Anthony is the only one he knows with that many siblings.

Simon: HELP HOW DO YOU RAISE KIDS?!?! LADY DANBURY LEFT ME IN CHARGE OF SEVEN OF THEM!

Anthony: You can have the oldest of the guys help, be your right hand like I have Benedict.

Simon: THAT'S MICHAEL AND HE'S COLIN'S AGE! AND HE ACTS LIKE COLIN BUT A BIGGER RAKE THAN EITHER OF US! WOULD YOU TRUST COLIN TO BE YOUR RIGHT HAND?!

Anthony: *thinks back to Colin's flighty ways and how Colin is always determined to embarrass him* Hell no.

Simon: HELP. ME.

Anthony: Now you see what I go through! It's not so easy, is it?!

[sea-owl]

pppfftt Simon and Anthony meet up once in a while amd its just a joint whining/drunk session on how their siblings are driving them insane. Then they get drunk enough that they try to compete with each other over whose siblings drives who crazier. And they both can't agree on anything because on one hand, Anthony deals with siblings who he has to share a braincell with so he's one tomfoolery-based scandal away from a heart attack. BUT Simon's siblings are smart individually and masterminds together and he slowly realizes that his siblings are a boredom away from committing an atrocious felony that could take over Mayfair (and he has a sneaking suspicion that Penelope would be leading the charge, I mean that girl has trouble not commiting a crime)

I can see it. Lady Danbury demands progress updates twice a year, so Simon drags all his siblings back to the Danbury estate. During these times, Simon takes a night off and goes to White's with Anthony, where they can rant about their siblings.

Anthony rants about what prank war Hyacinth and Gregory are currently engaged in. Colin's habit of running off to a different country whenever their mother even breathes the word marriage in his direction. Daphne, whose first season is coming up at 19, and already he's getting creepy lords old enough to be their father or grandfather asking about her. Eloise is starting to rebel. The only good ones are Francesca and Benedict, and that's only 25% of the time. Worst of all none of his siblings have any brains! (Yes they do they just share them with each other and him)

Simon wishes that's all his siblings did. He's constantly dragging them out of the woods, the brothels, the black market. On top of that, there's also Kate's competivness, and the younger two are now starting to pick up bad habits of the others. Sophie is an angel when not influenced by the others. Sadly, she enjoys the chaos the others create too much.

Then comes the bet. One too many drinks, and now Simon and Anthony have a bet going on who can handle the other's siblings better. They trade places for two weeks. The judges between them will be Lady Danbury and Violet since their siblings are little shits and can't be trusted not to screw with the score. Winner gets bragging rights and 500 pounds from the other.

[sea-owl]

I'm now thinking of the big brother swap between Anthony and Simon in my Simon Basset's Home for Dysfunctional Children Au.

Found here and here

Simon can't believe a group is this dumb and gets into so many dumb shenanigans. He's too used to his siblings, who all have their own brain. Every time he thinks they can't sink lower, they do. It's a guessing game on who has the brain cell that day.

Anthony, meanwhile, is slightly afraid of Simon's siblings. He's not used to them all being smart, and he doesn't have the Bridgerton brain cell to help keep up. He's also not use to malice compliance. He may tell Simon's siblings something and they'll do it technically but he and they both know they're fucking with him.

[sea-owl]

Lmao, this was so close to being a tie. I'm half tempted to redo the poll and take out both option. Apparently, the majority of us agree that Simon will probably be okay, but Anthony is coming out scared.

I'm now thinking of the big brother swap between Anthony and Simon in my Simon Basset's Home for Dysfunctional Children Au.

Found here and here

Simon can't believe a group is this dumb and gets into so many dumb shenanigans. He's too used to his siblings, who all have their own brain. Every time he thinks they can't sink lower, they do. It's a guessing game on who has the brain cell that day.

Anthony, meanwhile, is slightly afraid of Simon's siblings. He's not used to them all being smart, and he doesn't have the Bridgerton brain cell to help keep up. He's also not use to malice compliance. He may tell Simon's siblings something and they'll do it technically but he and they both know they're fucking with him.