#silly litte detective man

[e-miweed]

Most normal guy named David

[tenok]

Well I won't say that Aziraphale was horrified at thought of kiling a child, he was mostly sitting there arguing that he shouldn't be the one doing the killing (he does cleary dislike the idea), which is a little different (and btw I rewatched that scene for this and wow, first of all how cinematografically great first season are, it hits hard, and second it's a small thing but him immediatly jumping from "I don't want to do the kiling" to "what if we go to his party and prevent hound from happening" — that's such a great moment usually overlooked, but it's on par with "I will try to talk with higher ups" and his other desisions in the way how he never gives up and always tries to think of several other possibilities, even when Crowley already lost hope. Just, chef kiss), and while he dislikes it and was willing to find his way around this, as soon as he set his mind on this track and up to the moment of shooting he was working fast and clever on finding his way to kill this child without much remorse. In no way I say this as a way to critisize him, no, I actually think it' great example of how he deals with using violence: he will try to find the other way, but if there's no other options? He will use it, will use it cleverly, and he won't be sorry much. That's just part of his tool chest, not his favorite, but not something he swears off forever. And it's sexy of him.

But other than that I think it's a matter of perspectives. I don't like overly sweet, soft and innocent portrayal of Aziraphale that you can usually find in fics that's more kind to Aziraphale, I think that he's much more deep and has a better understanding of the world that people gave him credit for and he's much more in peace with some darker thing in himself and others. I also think his softness can be a shield hiding this things not only from others but from him too: like in kilind Adam example, when he doesn't want to think of killing a child, he immediatly jumps to "maybe I can do tricks as a magician :)" which doesn't mean that kiling a child still doesn't a possibility he still considered, that he doesn't still think about it on more deep level, accepting and getting ready, but on surface level? He's into his silly mode. The same with looking for a clues in season two: he's so eager to play detective so he can stop thinking about Gabriel, heavens and hell for a second and calm down. I'm not saying that he isn't naturally sweet and easy to get exited person, but I do think that calm, collected person person aware of horrors and his capability of using violence as much of beauty of the world and his capability to find joy in every litte thing is much more correct portrayal of him than "always cheery and never willing to hurt anyone and being bastard only in sense that sometimes he says something jokingly sexual to Crowley" I usually see.

Now, sorry, I completely derailed post that was about Azirahale trowing fists lol

And about describing him as masculine, I kinda understand what you mean and yes him going into fights can be example of this I'm sure, but I'll say that it's more complex. See, first and foremost, the global problem is that fandom as a whole for now favours Crowley, so all povs, deep reflection and other cool things usually go to him (the quality if this reflection is another thing, god save us from character's haters and character's protectors). And any thing that can be actually deep and meaningfull would be botched if written without considering what's inside character's head, be this fighting/violence/masculitinity/etc! And another thing is that while yes Aziraphale is feminie, he's actually really, really masculine too. He does. It's pretty significant thing. Like, we saw Crowley passing as women a least once, two if you counting Golgotha, and Aziraphale always passed as man. Queer man, gay man. He's not feminie per se, he's utilizing his masculinity in feminie way. He's not wearing a skirt (although I'm sure he can and would if he will consider it proper [the same with violence lol]), he wear a pastel suit. He keeps his hair fluffy, but not long. He does his manicure, he also goes to specifically male's barber to pay him for treatment of his hair and non-existent beard (I suppose, since he's used "barber" and not "hairdresser" but it can also be translation thing). His mannerisms are not women's, it's a gay man thing (or neurodivergence thing). And people... they actually don't know what to do with healthy, non-conventional masculinity and how to explore it. They can play with queering the gender, putting Crowley in skirts and make up and changing pronouns on a whim, they can do one of them or both womens, but people stuck on making masculinity interesting and specifically queer masculinity not… cringe, I suppose? Like, to write Aziraphale beng his *pansy* self and not making this a bad sitcom episode can be challenging, and also some people probably avoid this without even thinking because it can feel disrespectful to write character this way. So it's kinds interesting that people make Crowley this *cool rebellious genderqueer punk* but rarely explore this side of Aziraphale at all.

There's other thing in play, like people loving dichotomies so if Crowley more feminie than Aziraphale should be more masculine, or people just wanting a trope with strong daddy ravaging helpless twink (you can find the same with top!Crowley and bottom!Aziraphale, but less after season two, much less /unfortunate sigh/). But, anyway, I'm derailing again and my point was that Aziraphale's fighting is just a part of bigger... I don't want to call it issue? It's not that deep you know. Fandom shift?

Anyway thank's for listening to me rambling! In conclusion, Aziraphale should be allowed to beat people up when he feels like this, but he should be granted with big pretty flowr crown immediatly later, because he's a softie and we love him for that

Look I think I said it before somewhere but I need to talk about it again.

Aziraphale (in the show - his characterization differs in the book and I’m talking about show Aziraphale here) is a soft character. He started out as a soldier and he made the conscious decision to give the sword away to someone who would use it for protection, instead of keeping it to fight (leaving out the whole thing about War owning it later on cause that’s a different topic and definitely wasn’t what Aziraphale had in mind when giving away the sword). He also makes a conscious decision to look and act as non-threatening as possible, instead deciding to look soft and huggable and gay as hell a tree full of monkeys on nitrogen oxide. We don’t see him fighting anybody even when he gets the sword back - he just holds it and swings it around a little, he doesn’t even lift it when they face Satan (I think. I’d have to go back and watch again but I’m fairly sure he just stands in the background behind Adam with the tip of the sword facing the ground).

We know, or at least suspect from the scene where he fixes the hole in the wall that he’s physically strong and we know he’s still technically a soldier in Heavens eyes (Gabriel going „you’re a lean mean fighting machine“ and him having and possibly leading a platoon in Heaven) but he fully rejects that position in episode five to go back to Earth. He doesn’t want to be a soldier at all. He’s still a protector, we see this in season two with Jimbriel (he literally says „I said I would protect you and I will), but even THEN he doesn’t physically fight the demons entering the bookshop (he lights the circle but it’s Maggie and Nina throwing fire extinguishers and encyclopedias).

I know we as the fandom love badass Aziraphale. I love badass Aziraphale as well. I take a little bit of an issue with how him actually being badass is portrayed in fanfic sometimes because a lot of trying to make him physically fight demons comes across as trying to make him more masculine, more fit, less the campy, soft, kind character that he is and it annoys me. (A part of that is also how people try to make him more like Crowley, which I don’t like the undertones of either but that’s a whole different topic.) Both because I don’t like the implication that to make him badass you have to change that part of his character and because we’ve seen him being badass in the show already and it was either a) trying to protect humans/Crowley/Jimbriel, which involved a lot more threatening that him actually throwing hands or on one occasion b) him being bitchy (Furfur pronouncing his name wrong). It was him being kind and caring about people and their lives! And possibly their reading skills.

And I know there’s a lot of hope for more badass Aziraphale in season three, because hell yeah, Heaven getting obliterated from the inside? Absolutely. But when we get to see BAMF Aziraphale in season three (because I don’t doubt we will, in some form or other) I’d much rather see him be badass by outsmarting Heaven (magic tricks anybody?) and getting away with it or threatening the Metatron or whatever than by punching somebody in the face. And IF he does have to use physical violence, then I want there to be a reason for it and I want it to be portrayed as a bad thing. Like I want I to be the absolutely lowest point of the character because we know how much he detests doing it and he hates having to do it anyways.

In that case also want it to end with the Metatron dead in a ditch.

[unicyclehippo]

how about beaujester 7, or beau/yasha/jester 22?

7- “In my defence, I thought this would go a lot more smoothly.” beaujester

//

‘Don’t panic. Do not panic, Jester. It’s just a teeny tiny jail cell, okay, nothing we haven’t broken out of before—do not fucking panic!’

‘I’m not panicking, Nott.’

‘You’re not?’

‘No, silly,’ she laughs. ‘The others will get us out. I sent Beau a message when they caught us.’ She flops down onto the bunk—big mistake, dust puffing up dank and musty around her—and settles her petticoat, kicks out her feet. Nott scrambles up next to her, face a picture of mistrust and apprehension.

‘You sent Beau a message?’

‘Mhm.’

‘To get us out?’

‘Well, I mean, all of them will probably help,’ Jester points out.

‘Good. Because, I love Beau, really, but giiiiiirl, she is not good at talking to people! She has a very aggressive demeanour, very off putting.’

Jester frowns down at Nott. ‘I don’t think that’s true!’

‘Well, no, she’s soft to you,’ Nott allows. ‘But to everyone else?’ Nott shivers. ‘Awful.’

‘Nott,’ Jester laughs, ‘that’s not true! Beau is...she’s a little rough sometimes, maybe, a little rude, but she’s really very kind.’

Nott blinks big golden eyes disbelieving. ‘She choked out a child.’

Jester rolls her eyes. ‘Just a little bit.’

‘Hmm.’

Her co-detective and partner in crime settles down next to her in what looks to be a very uncomfortable position, her long legs capped with knobbly knees nearly up around her ears twitching thoughtfully. Nott bares needle like teeth when a rat scurries across their cell but other than that, she sits still and silent. Jester doesn’t much feel like talking so she brings her own legs up onto the bunk and snuggles as much as she can into her short cloak, wrapping her tail in a tight coil. And together, they wait to be rescued.

//

Rescue doesn’t come with a boom of thunder or the crash of falling stone. Instead, it comes with the tap tap tap of boots and a stick on the stone-paved floor.

‘—be suitably punished, I assure you! Trespass and vandalisation of private property—and a temple no less—is taken very seriously by the Crownsguard.’ This voice Jester recognises as Crownsguard Markus, the guard who had cuffed her and brought her in. He sounds over eager and, since Jester flings herself to the bars to peek out, looks strained and tall, like he’s trying to impress whoever is with him. Jester can’t make out his companion; she can only see the swish of a blue cloak now and again. But when they speak...

‘I’m certain that it is,’ replies a voice that manages, somehow, to sound just a shade shy of actually being certain. ‘I’ve been examining the history of crime in this area—it looks as though you have been cracking down on serious crime.’

‘Yes, Expositor, absolutely.’

‘I am impressed,’ Beau says, and Jester almost giggles, seeing the way the much older man lights up at her words. ‘Regardless, the Cobalt Soul has been searching for these two for quite some time...’

‘Oh. Oh, I see.’

Beau is now within Jester’s view, the pair of them having walked nearly to the centre of this small holding area. They stand by the desk, where the ledger of arrests is, and Jester can see the Crownsguard fiddling with the keys on his belt, clearly uncertain. He can’t hold her attention for long, however, because next to him... Beau is wearing her Expositor’s regalia, and not in the eager, sloppy way she had tried it on that first time it had been gifted to her. She wears it now like it truly was made for her, like it is the least thing about her that marks her as Expositor. It sits perfectly over her shoulders, the finery catching the low lantern light. Her hair has been brushed and slicked up into a perfect topknot, and two blue ear drops hang from her lobes. Her makeup has been stripped and reapplied, sharp lines of kohl winging out from her lids, understated and giving her a somewhat hawkish appearance that is only compounded by her composure: smooth and officially stern, lit with faint interest and curiosity and, if not pleasant than certainly not unpleasant regard of the Crownsguard as he hesitates.

‘Perhaps,’ she suggests, smooth and not at all hurried or nervous, ‘we can come to some arrangement. You, of course, should have credit for catching them. The Soul has good relations here and I would not like to...upset that.’

Jester’s breath catches in her throat, delight soaring through her like she has watched a beautiful performance. Beau sets emphasise so delicately, so wondrously, that the Crownsguard can’t help but hear the implicit warning—he had better not upset their good relations by denying her.

‘No, no, of course not Expositor. A reward isn’t necessary, I was just doing my job,’ he assures her and hurries to find the key, making his way over to the cell.

Jester scrambles back into the back of the cell.

‘Is that Beau?’ Nott whispers.

‘I know!’ Jester wriggles all the way down to the tip of her tail. ‘Focus,’ she hisses then, only partly to Nott. ‘Pretend to be upset.’

‘Ooh, should we pretend to hate Beau?’

‘Oh definitely.’

Nott winks, settles into a low crouch beneath the bunk as the Crownsguard and Beau approach.

‘Get up,’ Markus commands gruffly. ‘You’re being transferred to the watch of the Cobalt Soul, for transfer to—‘ He glances sideways to Beau.

She gives litte sign of recognition upon seeing Jester, but looks a little confused, searching clearly for Nott. ‘Zadash,’ she tells him absently. ‘There was a second one, wasn’t there?’

As if on cue, Nott throws herself out from under the bunk, screaming and rattling at the bars. ‘You’ll never take me alive!’ she screams. ‘I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!’

Markus flinches, reaching for his sword.

Beau shakes her head. ‘Don’t bother,’ she tells him. And then, turning to Nott, says with a disturbing amount of truth to the words, ‘I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time.’ Her fist lashes out, through the bars, and connects fully with the side of Nott’s neck, and Jester watches as Nott seizes up with a gurgle, stunned.

‘Oh wow,’ Markus mutters.

Beau nods. ‘Unlock the cell.’

‘What about the other one?’ He clearly doesn’t notice that Nott has slowly recovered, now only pretending to be frozen.

Beau looks to Jester and her blue eyes seem to burn in the low light. ‘She’ll be fine,’ Beau murmurs.

The guard nods. Unlocks the cell door.

Jester nods as well. Hopes Beau can read in her eyes that she is, that she is fine. Especially now.

Beauregard steps into the frame, sideways so that her back is to the guard and Jester and Nott can step past. She holds out two slips of blue cloth Jester recognise as having been torn from an old vest. Jester holds out her wrists and Beau binds the cloth like cuffs, knots it carefully.

‘Cloth?’

‘Magical,’ Beauregard lies to the guard. ‘It will suppress their magic and keep them within a certain distance of me.’

‘Whoa. That’s, that’s really impressive, Expositor.’

Beau nods. Reaching into her pocket, she takes out a small pouch. ‘I know you said no reward, but I insist. For your good work.’

She leads them out of the guard post, Nott and Jester following meekly—after a hissed “Act meek, you two” from Beau—and into the street. When they turn the second corner, Beau waiting to be sure no one was in sight that would recognise the pair, she finally relaxes and unties their hands.

‘What the fuck, guys? You said you were going shopping!’

‘We may have gotten a little distracted,’ Nott tells her.

‘May have? You vandalised Erathis’s spire!’

Nott responds with some cutting comment, as she does, and Beau falls for it, sending one right back. As the two argue, Jester searches this face for her Beau and finds unfamiliar parts of her in it—absolute confidence beyond her usual swaggering arrogance, a grace in the lines of her makeup, the swoop of her hair, and a deep unwavering protectiveness she always, always knew was there but has come now to the surface.

‘What do you have to say for yourself, Jester?’ Beau snaps. Despite the words, her tone is just exasperated and perhaps a little amused, mostly cranky for Nott’s benefit.

Jester skips forward, plants a kiss on a suddenly unmoving Beau’s cheek. ‘Thank you for coming to get us,’ she says, and smiles brightly. ‘Maybe next time, you can be our lookout.’

[genderfreezone]

Do you like the Evil Within 2?

Yeah! Certainly not as much as the first one (i was not immune to being sad they left out fan favorites Jojo and Ruvik's Cube)

The rest of this post is me rambling about things i didnt like about the game, and then things i did like (most of my issues are how they treat the female characters tbh)

Its missing kind of the action-noir-gone-horrifically-wrong feel of the first game. The scare factor also suffers bc our player character has been through this before, hes a veteran at dealing with this crazy shit, it doesnt phase him anymore and by extension it doesnt phase the player. They really like tripled down on the Evil Corporation thing and both the intrigue and horror suffer for it.

This game did not drink its respect women juice (the first one didnt really either, case in point: Everything About Kidman) Sebastian is surrounded by 5+ female characters and only 2 of them survive (and one of them is his 7 year old daughter hes spent the whole game trying to rescue... and yet they never bothered to give her any kind of characterization or agency. A highly empathetic and supernaturally powerful little girl in a monster-infested hellscape?? HELLO???? Lily really had the potential to be the most interesting, sympathetic, and complex character--especially as she slowly lost her innocence--in the WHOLE GAME, but she was just sort of relegated to Plot Device McGuffin) The rest of the female supporting cast are killed off for Sebastian's Man Pain. In fact, THIS ENTIRE GAME IS CENTERED AROUND SEBASTIAN'S MAN PAIN. Torrez is a walking stereotype, shes literally just Vasquez from Aliens. Hoffman was the most likeable and believeable, except when it Turns Out She Was In Love With Liam Or Whatever (psst, guess what, i dont care. Also O'neal was kind of a dick anyway? I dont care x2)

And you know who i SUPER dont care about? Bland-White-Bread-And-Mayo-Sandwich Myra. Where's the no-nonsense firecracker of a police lieutenant Sebastian married? Not here, thats for sure. Her entire personality is "mother" and "worries about stressed-out husband". We got more characterization of Myra in seb's jornals from the first game, where she never even made a physical appearance! Horror media does this SO MUCH, women are either A. Sexy Lamp B. Hurts Men (Sexily) C. Mother or D. Innocent Virgin. It sucks. Do better.

The story lacked the "digging up old buried memories" and "theres more to this than meets the eye" of the first game. It felt too...... Straightforward. Everyone told Sebastian the truth. EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY WHAT IT SEEMED. It all felt too simple, too easy, like there SHOULDVE been something else beneath the surface. And yet there wasnt. (I watched markipliers playthrough and i loved his theory that Kidman was actually Lily. It had such potential. Kidman's entire resume for the police station was fabricated, who's to say the rest of her past wasnt fabricated as well? It would retcon a lot of stuff and like 80% of her backstory from the DLC, but you know games like this arent above retconning important shit, and at least it wouldve been sacrificed for something with actual intrigue. Maybe it wouldnt even retcon anything! Consider: tiny Lily is taken by Evil Corporation and dropped off in a non-nurturing environment that would lead her to become the kind of person who would willingly join & work for an organization like Mobius. At least wouldve been a nice excuse for why Kidman and Lilys face models looked so similar... other than... yknow.... "WomEN ARe hArD tO DRaWwwwwee")

Okay okay ive been ranting for long enough. It probably makes it sound like i kinda hate this game, but i dont! It certainly doesnt hold the same place in my heart as the first one (which i still have very glaring issues with lmao Kidman deserved WAAAAAAY better), but i do like it! It brings back salty, grizzled, tsundere Sebastian Castinellos. It brings back spooky monsters that kill you dead. It brings back having a fun theatrical over-the-top villain who takes himself a litte too seriously.

I love Stefano. Probably not in the way some other fans do, but i love him as a ridiculous theatrical over-the-top villain. He sucks! And i love that he sucks! I love him BECAUSE he sucks! Hes terrible and exaggerated and completely up his own ass and ITS GREAT. He isnt as ACTUALLY THREATENING as Ruvik was (even in his bad assassin's creed cosplay. I could go on and on and on about why Ruvik is simultaneously a ridiculous AND frightening antagonist and how much i love it but uh..... maybe later) but hes such a FUN villain! Hes the kind of pretentious art snob shitheel i cannot STAND irl, but in this game i LOVE to HATE him. Hes just SO over-the-top you kinda wonder if he actually subscribes to the pretentiousness he spouts, or if hes just being Exceptionally Extra.

The other villains? Theodore was.... forgettable. His monsters were forgettable. (Its like how i completely forgot that Frank Manera was a character in Whistleblower for like... 5 years lmao i guess this game also kinda followed that "having multiple named/characterized antagonists in one game" thing that Outlast did) Myra, i just didnt care. Her final design was kinda cool, i liked the red clusters of insect eyes. Her monsters werent really gross enough to be memorable. The only reson theyre gross at all is bc they kinda look like theyre made of semen. (I checked the wiki and apparently Myra's white goo is "psychoplasm" and her monsters lost 99% of their gross factor. I just dont care.) The Administrator literally just looked like a 3D human model of Maxwell from dont starve, and i have to laugh every time i see him. Hes not terribly threatening, all he does is threaten characters to work faster and doesnt actually follow through on those threats. He doesnt even make fun threats like HABIT or anything. He thinks hes so powerful and ominous that his mere presence will frighten the player but hes just kinda all bark and no bite. Hes The Big Bad Company Man so you know hes gonna get whats coming to him, and you know Kidmans gonna be the one to do it to him, so hes not even that much of a threat. Hes whatever.

Stefano definitely got all of the coolest monsters. Many Arms Buzzsaw Lady was terrifying and i love her. And OBSCURA was just *Chef's Kiss* Anima was cool, she kinda looked like a mix of Laura and Samara. The Harbingers were neat, but really only bc ive got a thing for gas masks. The rest of the monsters werent really unique or weighty/threatening enough to be memorable. Now the first game is a fucking TREASURE TROVE of unique monsters *muah* you got Sadist, Sentinel, Keeper, Amalgam, Heresy, Laura, Shigyo, the Twins, Alter Egos, and im probably forgetting some!! But holy FUCK!!!!! And if we're includong the DLC?? MOTHER FUCKING SHADE. SPOTLIGHT LADY. LIGHT WOMAN.  SEXY LEGS.  Whatever you call her, i fucking love her. Her design is so simple. Helmet. Sheet. Legs. Her voice? Unnerving as hell. Love it. (Also i just personally love the diving helmet. Also like you know how a lot of games have a spotlight mechanic where you have to avoid the light and if it lands on you, you're fucked? LET'S MAKE AN ENTIRE MONSTER OUT OF THAT. She's PERFECT.) Oh and also those weird crawling exploding dudes. They made gross sounds and it was great. (Tbh Keepers still probably my favorite, if only for horny reasons)

TATIANA HOW HAVE I NOT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT TATIANA. Shes like the ONE female character that i fucking LOVE in the sequel. I love how they finally gave her a personality, and that personality is literally just "fuck you, Sebastian" Oh GOD its great shes SO FUNNY. I just.... god i love Tatiana lmao. I love how she makes you kinda uncomfortable too, like she knows something, but she wont tell you bc youre stupid. I didn't like the kind of "all-knowing guide" thing they did to try and make her creepy (like she's a "guide" but then also turns around and is like "no i wont tell you what you need to know bc you """have to discover it on your own""" or whatever") it serves no purpose since she never gave you any actual information, and it didn't succeed in making her creepier, all it did was frustrate me. She was at her creepiest when she IMPLIED she was doing something behind the scenes or knew something you didn't know and then didn't elaborate (not REFUSING to elaborate, just... stopping talking and leaving the statement to hang in the air, like the "getting her nails done" and "its been a long time, detective" and the "now what makes you say that" from the first game) and she was at her funniest when she was interacting with Sebastian from the sidelines, her snide little comments and sarcastic clapping cracked me the fuck up. Tatiana not treating Sebastian seriously was a fantastic touch for a game that otherwise would probably take itself so seriously it would double back around to being silly. Without Tatiana, it would've been just another male-centric gun-toting "survival horror" game, and for the most part, it was just that. She was definitely a much-needed source of slightly derisive comedy and a definite high-point for me, even if they didn't so a great job of making her creepy or fulfilling her "purpose."

Oh I also really love the COLORS in TEW2. The first game fell into the trap of having the colors be totally washed out that a lot of horror stuff does, but it also kind of worked for it. Especially with the color pallette of our main villain and how the whole thing was His World. The saturation of the colors in the second game is a breath of fresh air and gorgeous to look at, and you can even see the color motifs of the game change with each new villain: the game starts out with Stephano has lots of blues and purples and dark reds, when Theodore takes over we get bright orange and yellow contrasted with black and brown, and in the climax with Myra the game goes back to having washed out colors and white (and with her villain design? Let's face it: they were kinda just trying to do Ruvik again) We did get portions that were still kind of wahed out whites and greens and greys, but it wasnt the ENTIRE game, even the big blood-and-brains splatterhouse sections of the first game kinda had their colors weirdly muted for that "Horror Aethetic."

In conclusion, i do like the evil within 2, but i also had a lot of problems with it. And i complain about these problems because i like the game and know it couldve done better, tried harder, and been a LOT more than it was (the wasted character potential is my real overarching pet peeve, probably becuase i loved the characters in the first game, and character development is kind of my whole jam) . But all in all, it was still a fun monster-zombie romp with at least one entertaining villain and fun-to-look-at designs and environments. It wasn't character or horror or even REALLY story driven in the way I know it COULDVE been, but i still had a fun time and enjoyed myself.