#sillest question in my inbox ill cherish this 4ever

[cryingforcrocodiles]

hey lad. feel like saying hi n asking something

hmmmm which footballer are you most confident you could take in a fight

MAXIMIZEMAX! hello my great friend ❤️ thank you for asking. i think about this all the time. i see them running on the pitch n think 2 myself n outloud "i'd beat his ass". ill give you my top five. this is very serious to me 🤼🏿

5. matt turner (arsenal–usa national team)

look at him. yeah i'm handling that. i could flip him 20 different directions (pause) n make him rolls from the emirates & back to america. it's a dog fight out here, dawg.

4. nimrod joão cancelo (on loan from man city, playing at bayern–🇵🇹 nt)

give me 5 minutes. he'd get a good slap on me but that nose? easy target. yall ever heard of a frog punch? yeah that's my special move n his nose is GETTING IT. right dab in the middle POP! he's on the floor and good POW POW's, right in that weak left side. how do i know its weak? you don't know what i know.

3. declan rice (west ham united–🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 nt)

he's out in 3 strikes. strike 1, i juke him and he's confused. silly hammer boy. he's embarrassed yet persistent. strike 2, i juke him again. west ham is crying for him. he's frustrated. he's sweating and he's desperate. strike 3, he tries again but from the left. good try. just not great. doesn't touch me. cant touch me. i aim for that FAT frontal bossing. it lands. HE'S OUT.

2. adrien rabiot mommy's boy (jail. i mean juve–france nt)

i ain't gotta explain this LMFAOOAAOAO look at this one. easy combo. he gets beat up n no one blinks. everyone's gonna be like "yeah it's been coming. thanks man." n ill get roses in the mail from his agent but a bomb from his mother. the prices you pay for an ass whooping.

DRUMROLL PLEASE 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

THE ONE EVERYONE KNOWS !!!! WE GET A DOUBLE WHAMMY TAMMY FOR THIS ONE.

1. zionist & a striker ig (i was fr shocked by this information when i checked into a lineup n they played his ass striker i thought he was a central forward??? like was behind the striker maybe. but no. striker) someplace in the world–trolls under the stamford bridge

my knuckles won't bleed. my hands won't shake. my wit won't go. my eyes will focus. my mouth won't stay shut. i will see the light with my fists. amen amen and amen. i'm shaking these niggas world and warping their interpretation of reality. amen amen.

thats my top 5. thank you so much for asking my dear friend. i don't know if you expected this amount of text but if u did, ahshhsdj you know me soooo well. 🫶🏿🫶🏿