#sil: dont trust me........god no...

[readymades2002]

rrrrrrrrrrr oh my goddddd found out my mom has been talking to my sibling+SiL and That Boy about how i am not talking to her/being as open with her/"Acting Out" and she is Worried About Me :( and its like i am so so so so sick of this happening. she has not talked to me (though frankly at this point if she did i am not inclined to tell her shit because every time i tell her anything she tells everyone else) and like if she is going to gossip about me which she is what if she simply TALKED to her FRIENDS who are HER AGE and have SIMILAR LIFE EXPERIENCES instead of taking it to MY PEERS and HER OWN CHILD for a fucking change lol!!!

[tsume-awase]

@mechanicosmia continued from here

Trust.

He’s been mulling on the sentiment for some time now--so much so that even now, with the world cloaked in a hazy, sake-ridden shroud, the words don’t feel like a mistake. Perhaps it’s habit now: Sil is not the first to have broken through the majority of his barriers, not the first to wring a sense of real companionship from him. He’s fallen victim to it twice--and now, a third time.

The voice that informs him of the inevitable ruin, of the stark shattering of glass when the world raises a hand to those gentle presumptions of unity, is there in the corner of his mind, yes. But it is quieter now--the bonds he’s forged have numbed it, somewhat--for better or worse. 

In spite of having just admitted, in some foolish roundabout way, that he cares for this spirit’s well-being, Kamakiri finds himself more amused by the hopeless sag to Sil’s shoulders. There’s simply too much familiarity to the way he crumples under the sentiment: what should manifest as painful empathy appears to have simply gone full circle. 

I’m sorry.

And just like that, a quick laugh pushes past his lips.

“--Yes, well. So am I. But it’s my decision. Hardly up to you.” 

He gets it. He really does. At least as much as a ‘mortal’ can. Kamakiri takes a sip of his drink and basks in the rare moment of recklessness. He is awash in it, the warm and spiteful sentiment that whenever these words and emotions will turn on him, it’s nothing he has to deal with now. The occasional tipsy 180 has...a novelty to it, sometimes.

“So you’ll just have to deal with it, I suppose.” 

And so, in turn, will he. 

[l-brouillette]

Marinette's Diary (3)

I cant even begin to say how much nicer and easier things got, being able to tell at least one person about being a superhero. Everyone at school seemed happy we were together, although Chloe naturally was a bit upset.

"WHAT?!? you cant be serious!? You and the baker girl?? Over me?!? Re-diculous! Utterly ridiculous!" I smiled as i recalled how she took it. True Chloe fashion.

Alya was understandably a bit confused, but still happy for me. She even said we could double date! If only she knew our double date was a group of all of Paris superheroes! I hadnt even told Adrien that part yet, and he hadnt asked. Yet. Im sure he will, once the need for their help becames necessary, but, one bridge at a time!

Adrien keeps asking when i can come meet his dad. While normally I wouldnt hedge and find excuses not to go, in this instance, after that fiasco with his dads book, Im not in a rush to look his dad in the face any time soon! But i CANT tell Adrien that!

Although, maybe i should? Gosh! I dont know! Its all too much at once! Not that i would EVER give up anything in order to change the outcome, but still! How do i deal?!

This evening, Chat Noir and i finished defeating the bad guy and capturing their akuma when Alya ran up to us, trying to get a new scoop for her ladyblog.

"I can only give you a minute," i told her, as my earrings started to beep.

"Wow! You guys are getting so crazy good! At this rate Hawkmoth wont stand a chance!" She exclaimed, videotaping the whole time.

I smiled at her, trying to think of a whitty response, when Chat Noir dropped down beside me. He ran his hand over my hair and gave me a warm smile.

I smiled up at Chat and he asked, "Is My Lady telling you all about how her ah-mazing partner makes her a better hero?!" He joked, grinning for the camera.

"Oh, for sure Kitty Chat," I smiled coyly at him, and batted my lashes, "we make the purr-fect team!" Chat laughed at my joke.

I looked back at Alya who had a different light in her eye than usual. Like she wanted to ask something, but just wasnt.

"Wow, no more questions from Miss reporter tonight? Cat got your tongue all the sudden?" Chat Noir asked Alya with a laugh.

For once, Alya didnt respond. She just clicked off her video without saying anything further.

I stared at her a bit surprised, this was not like Alya! I was brought out of my thoughts when my earrings beeped again, and Chat touched my hand in warning.

"We have to go Bugaboo," and he lightly tugged on my hand.

I looked at him, nodded, then looked back at Alya and gave her a quick smile and a wave. Still holding Chats hand, we ran aways away before Chat pulled me close and extended his pole to vault us out of there.

We landed in the park next to my house just before both of us transformed back. I reached into my bag for a macaroon for Tikki, and a piece of cheese for Plagg, which i had started to carry just for him. He really was just adorable!

"Its kind of nice, having your secret stash of cheese for Plagg," Adrien remarked, as both Quamis flew up into a nearby tree to eat and talk between themselves.

I smiled at Adrien before holding out a hand for him to take.

"Its not really a big deal, but your welcome."

We walked around the fountain in the park holding hands, while i chewed on Alyas behaviour tonight. What could it mean?

"I can just hear the gears working inside your head," Adrien remarked. "Whats got you worried?"

I pulled him to sit along the edge of the fountain with me, where he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. For a few seconds, i didnt say anything.

"Do you think Alya is suspicious of us?" I finally asked him. "I mean, it was very unlike her tonight." I looked at him, to see if I could tell what he was thinking.

He pursed his lips for a few moments, thinking, and finally shrugged his shoulders a bit. "Honestly, its kind of hard to say. Maybe something we said tipped her off? But i dont remember saying anything out of the ordinary."

I laughed. "Nope, you were your usual Chatty self!"

"Hey!" He exclaimed with mock shock, "you happen to like my witty humor!"

"My Silly Kitty." I whispered, with a smile on my face, as i wrapped both arms around him for a real hug.

He rested his chin on the top of my head, and i could feel him smile. I was exactly where i wanted to be, and, i thought, exactly where Adrien wanted us to be.

Just then, the evening was broken by the sound of running feet, and suddely Alya came into view.

Adrien and i both jumped up from our seated position, and i worried something was wrong!

"Alya, whats wrong?" I called to her. And started to head her way. I glanced back to see Tikki and Plagg perk up and zoom our way. Tikki hiding herself in my bag, and Plagg hiding inside Adriens shirt. Better keep them close in case there was a problem.

We met Alya part way through the park where she stopped and rested her hands on her knees, and bent over, breathing hard.

"I got over here as soon as i could." She managed in between pants. "I REALLY need a word with you!!

Her expression looked serious. I glanced back at Adrien, making sure he was fine with everything.

Alya jumped in quickly, "Oh, him too!" And she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards my house.

Once we were safely inside my room, Alya turned to Adrein and i and demanded, "Are you Ladybug and Chat Noir??!"

I was super shocked! I stared at her wide eyed, not sure what to do, what to say. Where had that come from??

"What?!" I tried to brush it off. "Why on the world would you think that??! Of course we aren't!" I looked at Adrien to see if he had something else to add. Something better to throw her off.

"Do you really think we could pull off being the saviours of Paris??" He asked.

I looked back at Alya, and it didnt look like she was believing us.

"Where did you get such a ridiculous idea from?" I asked her.

Alya crossed her arms in front of her chest and started taping one foot. "Oh come on. I have just spent the last week watching you two being all lovey dovey to each other, did you really think it would skip my notice when Chat Noir was touchy feeler with Ladybug and she DIDNT push him away?!"

"Uh, um, I-it - m-maybe there was a fly? I mean, who knows!" I stammered.

"Ya," Adrien tried to help, "or maybe, coincidentaly, Chat Noir and Ladybug got together around the same time we did?" He mentioned questioningly. "Or who knows, maybe longer and nobody noticed?" He added with a shrug of his shoulders and motion of his hands, trying to look unconcerned.

"Oh come on!" Alya exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Your gonna actually try and lie to me? I'm your best friend Marinette!"

"And its my best friend I am talkimg to and thinking of." I said quietly.

"Oh, I get it," Alya finally said, as she paced away from us, and back again, "this is about the conversation we had the night my sisters were akumatized. About wanting to protect your friends and family from the badies."

I clasped my hands together in front of me, and looked down at the floor. Then i felt Adriens hand on my shoulder. I looked at him, and the look in his eyes made me wonder if he was telling me to just tell her. But how could I? Not only was that one other person who knew, but then Rena Rouges identity was out too! And then how long before Ninos?

I was Ladybug. All of this fell on me.

I walked away from them both to the window and rested my hands on the sil, and lowered my forehead to the glass. What to do, what to do...

I saw Tikki in my bag, trying to catch my eye. She nodded at me, and whispered "trust your instincts."

I smiled at her, glad she understood. So i straightened and turned back to Alya and Adrien. Walking over to Adrien, I took one of his hands in both of mine, as a kind of support.

"Your right Alya, I am Ladybug."

"Ha!" She yelled, and pumped a fist up into the air. "I knew it! There was no mistaking that telltale Adrien hair rub back there!"

Adrien and I looked at each other, and we both blushed. I guess it WAS fairly obvious.

"And your right as well that I am Chat Noir," Adrien said with a smile, never letting his gaze leave mine.

I looked at Alya, finally, to see her grin running from ear to ear.

"This is AWESOME! now we can fight the badies together!" Alya beamed!! So excited that she didnt notice Adrien raise a brow at her.

"Um, Alya?" I drew her attention to me. "Just bc Adrien knows I am Ladybug, doesn't mean he knew who everyone else was..." I left it at that and let it sink in.

Her mouth moved into an "O" and she blushed furiously. "Man, if i had been with anyone else that would have been a major oops, huh?"

"Kind of," I agreed.

"So i take it then that Alya is Rena Rouge." Adrien stated.

"Uh, ha ha, ya," Alya rubbed the back of her neck. "My bad."

I couldn't help it, I let go of Adriens hand and gave Alya a hug.

Alya pushed me back quickly and held me at arms length.

"Oh my god! I can't wait to tell Nino!" Alya exclaims in excitement!!

"Alya, whoa, we can't just tell everyone," Adrien begins, stepping forward and putting a hand on her shoulder, "we still have to keep ourselves safe."

Alya lifted a brow and smirked at me. "He doesn't know does he?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I guess there went my earlier dilemma.

"Nino is Carapace" Alya tells Adrien matter-of-factly.

"What?! No way!" Adrien says excitedly. "Really?"

"It was SOO obvious," Alya began, "im surprised you didnt notice. It only took me like 30 seconds."

I chuckled at the two of them, and put my hand on Adriens shoulder, "don't feel bad for not knowing. Its supposed to be a secret identity, after all. Im sure how close Alya and Nino are is what made her recognize him."

He smiled at me, "ya, your right... But wow! Nino!"

"He was Awesome, wasnt he?!" I said with a chuckle. "I made a great choice with him."

"So wait," Adrien frowned, "do you pick everyone?? Did you pick -me?" He looked worried about that fact. Did he think i had chosen him just because i liked him? I sure hoped not.

"No, i didnt choose you. We were chosen by a..." I tapped my lip and I searched for a good way to put it, "higher power, well say. Only when we needed extra help, did we recieve it."

"Well i dont even care how, I LOVE it!" Alya exclaimed excitedly! "Do you think there will come a time when i DONT have to give you back the Miraculous?"

"I cant answer that." I told her, frowning a but. It was a really good question. One id be sure to ask Master Fu when i saw him next. "That part isnt up to me."

Just then, Tikki and Plagg flew out from their hiding place. Tikki flew over to sit on my shoulder. "The Ladybug and Chat Ring go hand in hand. You cant JUST put out Ladybug, you need the other side to her!"she explained to us.

"Oh wow!" Alya exclaimed, putting her hands on either side of her face. "Is this your Quami? She's adorable!"

"This is Tikki." I told her.

And, not to be outdone, Plagg did a Double flip and hovered next to Adrien, "and im Plagg!"

"Man, this is so Awesome!" Alya did a fist pump in the air. Then flung one arm around me, the other around Adrien, for a group hug.

I was glad it had all worked out. I'd have to explain to Master Fu, but there was no helping it. As i looked at my 2 friends, I knew it was the right call.