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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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may i have the 10 wholly unasked for paragraphs of semen retention belief lore please 🙏
Ok
MEDICAL MODEL:
The philosophical core of Wardi medical model revolves around the universe’s primal dualism- it exists in between the extremes of Sea (cold wet dark female) and Sky (hot dry bright male). These forces are sterile and stagnant when separate, God emerged at their interacting boundaries as their synthesis, capable of creation. Life itself required God’s sacrifice of Its living spirit and the shedding of Its blood, which rendered sterile earth fertile and inhabitable and kicked of the perpetual death-rebirth flow of living spirit that maintains all life. The body is a reflection of this primordial state- it is maintained by the flow of living spirit (contained in the blood), and its core matter is an interactive mixture of primordial Hot Sky and Cold Sea, Warm in balance, with male and female physically differentiated by the presence of primordial extremes- the male has Hot testes, the female has Cold womb, the interaction of these extremes allow for creation.
(I promise this will have to do with semen retention eventually.)
Blood is understood as carrying the body’s living spirit, the animating force whose proper flow maintains life and health by balancing the body’s primordial extremes. Semen is a type of blood, given Hot nature by its isolation in the testes, and also carries the living spirit. It functions as the active seed of the living spirit. It is the Hot element planted in the Cold of the womb, the mingling of these forces allow for creation, and insemination with living spirit creates a living body that can host an immortal soul. (Wardi belief describes two souls- a living spirit that animates and maintains the body and an immortal soul that houses the mind).
Male gender designation revolves almost entirely around the testes, the Hot extreme of the body where semen is (assumed to be) produced and stored. In addition to its procreative functions, the testes are an organ whose function is to masculinize and strengthen the rest of the body. Each organ requires the proper flow of healthy blood/living spirit to function properly, and thus loss of this living spirit must be performed with great care- bloodletting in offering is highly controlled, bloodletting in medicine is carefully selected and done in accordance with balancing procedure. Since testes are regulated specifically by the living spirit in semen, semen should not be discharged with reckless abandon.
SOCIAL SEXUAL NORMS:
Cultural ideals for sexual behavior revolve around moderation and self-restraint. Sexuality itself is not demonized. There is nothing wrong with nonprocreative/nonmaritial sex in of itself (unless it is adultery on the part of a woman (male adultery is ostensibly bad too but is rarely treated as gravely), or a girl losing virginity prior to marriage, or it violates a litany of gender-sexual norms), but sexual RESTRAINT is an expectation.
Having an active but controlled libido is idealized, particularly in men. A man who is an absolute paragon of ideal masculinity has a libido, but is not ruled by it. He does not masturbate and rather seeks a partner for sexual release. He usually has a wife for this, and otherwise is capable of the patience and restraint to attain a quality sexual partner rather than finding the easiest release out of desperation. His partners are suitable to proper male interest, being good looking women or pretty beardless youths (going for 'unseemly' women or older, masculine men (so long as one performs the penetrative role) is not wholly unacceptable but suggests desperation and a weak control of libido).
This is an IDEAL and not strictly enforced- very few people will think you’re a weak failure of a man for jerking off sometimes or bragging about fucking some random tail, and hiring sex workers is entirely normalized (and will only be condemned if deemed notably ‘excessive’ and disruptive to a normal patriarchal role, or truly symptomatic of being unable to get laid without paying for it). Rather, if someone is already identified as a weak or effeminate man, ‘excessive libido’ may be cited as a cause or symptom, or rhetoric to criticize them.
THE SEMEN RETENTION:
Encouragement of semen retention/regulation stems out of both of these forces. Proper masculine social/sexual behavior encourages a limitation to discharge of semen, and medical thought deems it necessary for physical masculinization. A man who does not 'excessively' lose semen via an uncontrolled libido is thought to be physically more masculine- it is assumed to directly make the testes larger since they are Storing More Cum, but also to deepen the voice, assist in the growth and maintenance of the beard, and generally enhance strength, mental acuity, and vitality. Men are regarded as innately physically and mentally stronger than women, with the medical model slapped on as one of the means of explaining patriarchal norms (in addition to spiritual concerns of pollution and metaphysical vulnerability). Regulating semen is one of many behaviors that allows a man to stay this way.
This is also an element in why 'effeminacy' in men is linked to hypersexualization- there is an assumption that men who are physically or behaviorally non-masculine have exaggerated, uncontrolled libidos. Effeminancy or ‘softness’ in men is a failure to perform a wide set of behaviors and not strictly an accusation of receiving penetrative sex, but this is often an element- a man who receives is presumed so desperate and out of control of his libido that he will submit to debasement and shame for fulfillment (an un-masculine man who cannot be a penetrative partner could at least retain his dignity by having enough self-control to abstain entirely).
Some scholars, high ranking warriors, and politicians will (at least claim to) be functionally celibate and refrain from all discharge of semen in order to function at peak performance. This total abstinence is rare and NOT culturally mandated, and is often looked on with a little snide derision as a tryhard performance. More commonly, men will attempt to live a life with a controlled libido, and may temporarily abstain from sexual activity leading up to situations that require physical and mental acuity (combat, debate, sport, etc).
Of most concern to the average day to day person is accidental loss through nocturnal emission. While this is harmless every once in a while, it is cause for concern if it occurs frequently- your body is discharging part of its living spirit completely outside of your control, you are directly weakened by this and you don’t want this happening on a regular basis. Recurrent, frequent episodes may indicate polluted blood, or outright inhabitation by evil spirits.
The only level on which semen retention tends to be actively, directly enforced is with children. Teenage boys are typically discouraged from masturbating (especially during the early stages of puberty)- retention of semen masculinizes the body, therefore will contribute to a healthy and normative puberty and should be preserved at this vulnerable time. It is considered normal to chastise and punish a pubescent boy for masturbation. This is seen as preventing him from harming his health, and to teach him to regulate desire and exercise self control, one of many facets of shaping a boy into a proper man during this critical time. This norm does not contribute to children developing lingering psychological issues AT ALL.
Wardi traditional medicine is a holistic methodology of spiritual/physical treatment, using a base system of items (foods, animal parts, herbs, metals, stones) with Hot or Cold properties and individual Essences to manage imbalances in the body and it's blood/spirit flow and dispel evil spirits. This medical system (and related subdivisions of folk medicine) is commonly used to treat nocturnal emissions, and may also be used to lower libido and/or discourage teenage masturbation. These are largely medicines with Cold properties and noted anaphrodisiac Essence. Eels are a big one- given that eels, obviously, are sexless and emerge from river mud, their bodies are anaphrodisiacs and consumption of eel meat/eel based tinctures can lower libido (this should be done with caution, as it also lowers fertility in humans and animals). Medicines may be directly applied to the penis, this does not interfere with the intended function of the testes but subdues excess lust. Phallic amulets are worn regardless of gender and have holistic nonsexual protective properties, but may also help defend against nocturnal emission. Other medicines are worn in sachets that are tied around the hips during sleep, often weighted with lead. In very severe cases (mostly associated with other dysfunction), the penis or testes may be infected with polluted blood and should be bled.
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Tangent: If the Wardi community had reddit you would occasionally see threads like "DAE eat their semen after masturbating so you don't actually lose any?" and most responses would be "no wtf" but there would be a decent number of people going "omg yes I thought I was the only one" "I mean that's kind of weird but I guess it makes sense if you really think about it" and then one very angry commenter ranting about how, No, eating your semen DOES NOT suffice as mitigation of the loss, this is why so many boys are SOFT AND EFFEMINATE these days, the men of old NEVER jacked off and NEVER ate their own cum and had MUCH FULLER BEARDS AND LARGER TESTICLES.
#I also promise I did not intentionally milk this into 10(+) paragraphs I just like to be thorough . Like you need to know how cosmological#philosophy filters down into common practices of semen retention#It should also be noted that in general when I describe these deeper philosophical models it should not be interpreted as things#that Every Member Of The Population Is Routinely Thinking About#The primordial SEA/SKY dualism has philosophical significance and directly informs the medical traditions and practices of some#priesthoods but does not factor directly and explicitly into everyday practice.#Most people's religious practice is based around active interaction with God and Its Faces (and for that matter much of the public#experiences this religion more like a pantheon than a singular monotheistic god with different aspects)#The everyday person is thinking of semen regulation as 'it keeps you healthy and masculine' and not 'it ensures flow of living spirit#through the Hot masculine element of the body and improves the health of this system'- they'll be aware of the core concepts#like blood/semen as a carrier of living spirit but not necessarily thinking about it in THIS level of detail#imperial wardin
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local teen discovers elven milfs
@skylilac
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#this is my 2nd redraw of this panel from the gn and there is. significant improvement from my last attempt.#anywayyyyy#sophie is better than me. is all i'll say.#kotlc#kotlc fanart#della vacker
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i’m being plagued by thoughts again. Redraw of this
#sam winchester#spn#man idk what to tag this as#um#scars#ask to tag#well there is Significant improvement from the old one#but i'm still not there yet lol#someday#my art
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9 SECONDS OF CLINGY HANAKO FOR YOUUUU ok bye
credits under the cut!
models: hatsunedkaname
motion: me... lol
mop: キャベツ鉢
#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#anime#my art#yashiro nene#hanako kun#hananene#mikumikudance#this took 289 frames#what the hell lmao#this is a significant improvement from my previous animation attempts i guess
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btw Still thinking about the moment where Tula first realizes she's literally, mechanically unable to keep up with / catch Jaysohn when he bolts and runs his full speed. That revelation that she's not fast enough to stop him, or get alongside him, much less get in front of him to protect him if he needed it. The dread terror of it. :(
#N posts stuff#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#burrow's end#Siobhan said it almost like a joke but then Aabria put Weight behind it and oh boy. oh boy. there's Terror there babey!!!!!!#sure hope that doesn't come back in any significant way in any significant scene. ...........#It's like the moment in ep 2 when Tula's initiative fell behind Both Lila and Jaysohn and the only thing she could do was Watch#as they both jumped into the battle ahead of her. because she couldn't keep up with them...#look Sometimes catching a recurring theme in an actual play show doesn't necessarily Mean anything bc of the improv nature of it#but Obviously the dice also tell stories. and Aabria is a Fantastic GM. and the players are Excellent at role play. so it's..... 👀#certainly not off the table. G-D i'm so invested in this season i'm fully gonna lose my mind no matter what happens lmao#i'm on the edge of my SEAT
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uuh them .
can you tell i had fun messing with the colors a bit? probably not but yeha .
i should draw moon more often.. :v
#rain world#fanart#no significant harassment#nsh#looks to the moon#lttm#big sister moon#bsm#iterator#ive noticed how much I've imrpoved drawing rain world related stuff throughout the past months#im using thiner lines#slightly different brush#and my general artstyle improved significantly I'd say#when I started i wasnt used to drawing iterators or slugcats so i made a huge step#which is why i cringe a lot when i scroll down my posts to look at the first drawings i made of rw lol#my art
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My dear audience, I ask you this: Do you believe in fate? If fate decreed that your life was to end in tragedy, what would you do?
#genshin impact#genshinedit#kaeya#kaeya alberich#gifset#mine#📢 HE IS PLOT RELEVANT 📢HE IS PLOT IMPORTANT 📢HE IS PLOT SIGNIFICANT#sorry for the quality just really wanted to gif the improv scene#it's the most genuine he's ever been#he said i'm gonna say something true and beautiful for once!!
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a reunion
Ardwin grabbed the fancy hourglass and used the power of Gay Yearning to yeet herself directly to the void ASAP after MSQ, haha
(p.s. there is a sequel (nsfw))
#ffxiv#wolzero#ardwin tag#ardwin pics#dawntrail spoilers#i have been personally referring to the second picture as 'squenix gave us tongue bones and i am making this everyone else's problem'#also i am very glad we got the doohicky because it's a significant improvement over the previous plan Ardwin had in the works#which involved getting her reaper avatar to sort of reverse-summon her#and had not been implemented yet only because she hadn't figured out a good way to get back afterwards which would have been A Problem#never underestimate the lengths Ardwin will go to in order to smooch her partners.
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friendly reminder to make sure you're getting enough calories and proper nutrition. your brain can't function properly without it, which in turn affects your ability to have healthy emotional regulation and impacts overall mental health
#started sleeping more but still felt terrible every day#realized my once a day fasting window was reaching almost 24 hours#decided to start eating more#have already noticed a significant improvement in mental emotional and physical health#sleep quality has improved#and my ability to function in social situations has vastly improved as well#it has improved all relationships in my life#tw food
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looking at my own posts and tags from a year ago and i can almost feel the dark cloud over them just looking at them
#me#i'm so#like. noticing#that even right now i'm#i'm in the winter MOOD#like#not wanting to do anything#wanting to stay home more because ew cold winter etc.#not enough sun#motivation is not as HERE as it is in other seasons(even though i'm still keeping up on some stuff)#still kind of don't wanna get out of bed in the morning sometimes#but i still feel pretty happy overall most days especially in comparison#and boy am i glad i'm not the same as i was last year#this is such a significant improvement#i already knew but it kind of puts into perspective#even more perspective i guess#how much russ has helped me over one year#like wow#i had no idea at the time#i had the seed already planted in my head though#i just didn't quite know what it would grow into
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Leave wildlife alone. He probably bites.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#a-qing#xiao xingchen#xue yang#shout out to our girl a-qing for seeing the downfall this man would cause at minute one of meeting him#Something to be said about the differences in their 'blindness' also having figurative consequences.#xxc is blinded to consequences by his own naivety. He helps who needs helping because that's what he feels is right.#meanwhile A-qing is falsely blinded; she wields naivety as an outwards illusion while knowing full well that not everyone is worth saving.#She's one of my top 5 fav mdzs characters and I refuse to be quiet about it.#XXC is the kind of person who wants to save baby birds that fall out of nests. Alas. He should have followed the rules of nature:#'If you care - leave it there.'#The little rat man you found is so full of diseases. He bites. He will pee on all your belongings. Do not take him home.#No matter how sad he looks!!!!#For those who don't know what xxc is speaking Spanish: It has become a little inside joke. No significant lore: He Just Knows how.#Everytime he does I am blowing a kiss to the Spanish speaking mdzs community. I will consult you guys on slang as this arc continues.#(Playing around a bit with paneling and layout. To improve means to experiment!)
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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reading the carbon monoxide inhalation study done in collaboration with a WADA lab and im afraid the gas huffing memes were all true
#LIEK NO WAY THEY ARENT DOING IT LMAO.#small size samples but the improvements are SIGNIFICANT so if they're using pseudoscience-y shit like ketones they're def huffing it.
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devo such a sickpilled plaguecel 😔
im soooooooo diseasecore rn </3 struggling everyday illstyle 😔😔
#ask#anon#english. is a language#if i dont see significant improvements by tomorrow im gonna get a second dose of meds
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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