#sidenote: writing kids is surprisingly difficult

[deep-sea-anemone]

I have officially written 2k words of the Sanji Danny Phanton AU! ...I didn't realize how involved it was. I'm still barely into the first scene. Sanji hasn't even died yet. christ, the first chapter alone is probably going to be 7k. I'm planning on keeping it under 10 chapters but still. This is going to end up much longer than I anticipated.

[itssuppertim3]

So, we got "meeting the folks", but what about parenting? How chaotic or good the Skyrim boys would be as parents?

Skyrim Husbandos as Parents:

HOOOHOOHOOHOH

Doing this with a female reader!

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Ulfric Stormcloak: Definitely wanted an heir to take the throne. When discovering the big news, he'll fantasize about the sheer joy their future son will bring. The new High King will become excited at the thought of having a powerful and ambitious prince. That is, until "prince" is later edited to "princess." That's right! Turns out Ulfric gets a little girl instead! In fact, I feel like it's one of those scenarios where he has, like, seven kids in total and they're all girls LMAO.

What kind of a parent would this guy be if he wasn't a busy one? He loves his children more than Talos himself, but in the end he's still the same politically driven Nord. He says, "not now, dear", "go play with your sisters", "the tea party will have to wait, my snowflake", etc. etc. He tries, though.

Veezara: Poor guy has little-to-no parenting skills (at first). It's sad, really. With his assassin career quite literally starting in his early infantry, he's never experienced parental affection, let alone having parents in general. So forgive him if he seems a bit clueless on how to treat his young. But he's a quick learner!

Surprisingly enough, Veezara would most likely be an extremely gentle parent. It isn't until he first holds his child in his arms when he finally realizes the beauty of life. And due to this, he turns his back on the Shadowscale along with the Brotherhood and will convince you to do the same. His children mean the world to him, and he'll spend every moment of every day with them. He doesn't want them to be associated with violence, however, he'll certainly teach them how to properly defend themselves.

Argis the Bulwark: Pshh, screw "Argis the Bulwark", it's "Argis the Papa Bear" now. If anyone were to approach me and tell me that he wouldn't be an awesome dad, they're getting expensive wine splashed in their face. They get another splash if they tell me he doesn't say dad jokes, either.

I imagine Argis to be the type to portray some kind of beast to startle his kids. There will be regular occasions of him simply chasing after his children throughout the house, roaring like an animal in response to their giddy squeals. An energetic dad, by far.

Teldryn Sero: I see Teldryn as the immature type of dad. Hell, you might as well be raising him, too. Instead of having your husband backing you up when disciplining your children, he's just as guilty as they are! In fact he's usually the one delivering the influence. So when getting onto your kids, expect lots of "papa told us to!" and, "papa said we could!"

On a sidenote, he loves telling bedtime stories. The children will plead and beg him to share more, which kind of defeats the purpose since they're supposed to be asleep. He also has a knack for reminiscing back on the time when you both first met. It's heartwarming, but they can't help but gag in corny disgust.

(often refers to his kids as "runts" or "rascals")

Ancano: DEFINITELY treats his kids like spoiled brats, which only comes naturally to his Altmer genes. He wants them to have the best of the best; the best education, best manners, best home life, best everything. To clarify, Ancano doesn't want his children to be the best. He just wants them to have the best. Much of this is comes from the neglect he received from his own family as a child.

Affection doesn't come easily for the poor mage. He loves his kids to bits, but he has a difficult time expressing it sometimes. He may become startled or even grimace when being squished into a clumsy hug or when being greeted by a peck on the cheek, but he's trying. He enjoys giving his children head pats and shoulder squeezes a lot. He'll also like to write brief notes for them, an example being: "Be sure to eat every crumb of the lunch I made you or there will be blood. - Sincerely, your endearing father. Mother blows many kisses."

Miraak: He rarely gets emotionally attached to anything. But much like Veezara, the first time he held his child in his arms was absolutely groundbreaking for him. And when they reached out their fragile hand to latch onto his finger, he swore he could feel his heart skip three beats.

He's very protective of his kids. He already suffers enough separation anxiety with you, and having tiny versions of yourself running around is even worse! If Sahrotaar or a cult member can't watch over them, by Akatosh he might as well put a leash on the little things. As a bonus, Miraak will make sure that his children are very knowledgable in the ancient dragon ways. He'll personally teach them Dovahzul, he'll teach them how to ride dragons, and when they're at the right age, they'll even undergo training to harness the Voice if they so wish.

Savos Aren: He loves his kids to the plain of Oblivion and back, but boy do they stress the shit out of him. Arch Mage? Yeah right, more like Arch... Paranoia. I don't know where I was going with that. Poor Savos can't even focus on his work the majority of the time while knowing his kids are doing gods know what around the college. What if they fell off the bridge? What if they injured themselves in one of the alchemy labs? What if they were meddling around with the students' experiments?!

Under no circumstances are they allowed in his garden, either. Left and right, "don't touch those!", "no, you can't pick them because they are pretty. They are poisonous!", "gods above, I need your mother in here."

Whiterun Guard: (it was only a matter of time before I threw him in the charade) He boasts... a lot. Feel sorry for the unlucky soul on patrol with him, because he won't be able to shut up about you and the beautiful children you made together. You know the whole "arrow to the knee" phrase? It's that, just worse. "I used to be an adventurer like you. Then the best possible thing on Nirn happened to me and now even better. Look at this picture my boy drew me. I don't care if you've already seen it, I said LOOK."

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I decided against adding Romlyn in this go-round since I already have some cute family headcanons for him. You can read them here!

ALSO, sorry for the slow content. School's been giving me an ass-whooping🥴